Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior??

[ClydeR]

By AMY CHUA

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• watch TV or play computer games

• choose their own extracurricular activities

• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin.

More... (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html?K EYWORDS=chinese+mothers)

Do Americans need to learn something from Chinese about raising kids good at math but not a gym? Or is this more proof that we are on a collision course with the emerging Chinese superpower?

On the plus side, keeping your kids out of school plays could sure save you a lot of time and boredom. But on the downside, I don't think you should let up on expectations of high performance in gym. And you should add guitar to the list of approved musical instruments.

[Firestorm Killa]

Do Americans need to learn something from Chinese about raising kids good at math but not a gym? Or is this more proof that we are on a collision course with the emerging Chinese superpower?

On the plus side, keeping your kids out of school plays could sure save you a lot of time and boredom. But on the downside, I don't think you should let up on expectations of high performance in gym. And you should add guitar to the list of approved musical instruments.

I think it has to do with Americans becoming spoiled little brats. Especially since the Democraps passed laws prohibiting parents from beating their kid's asses. Since they passed those laws is it also surprising crime is up? hmm.

[Atlanteax]

I think it has to do with Americans becoming spoiled little brats. Especially since the Democraps passed laws prohibiting parents from beating their kid's asses. Since they passed those laws is it also surprising crime is up? hmm.

Lawl, nice.

[Latrinsorm]

On the plus side, keeping your kids out of school plays could sure save you a lot of time and boredom.Heh.

[Buckwheet]

What a great piece of satire.

[ClydeR]

What a great piece of satire.

It's not satire. It was written by a teacher at Yale Law School. She is totally serious.

[Buckwheet]

It's not satire. It was written by a teacher at Yale Law School. She is totally serious.

Oh in that case, what great piece of satire.

[ClydeR]

Heh.

Yep. And now that you've read this article, you can both keep your kids out of plays and pat yourself on the back for being such a good parent.

[hexxon]

She is not serious - "If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion."

But by the way the comments are, you can see how many people are completely bent out of shape over this.

[Taernath]

This reminds me of that webcomic Single Asian Female.

[Fallen]

Reading the comments in that artical is actually quite interesting. I suppose they could be lying, but you see people who lived through the "Chinese Method" and how they view it now that they are grown up.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/01/13/chinese.mom.superior/index.html?iref=NS1

[TheEschaton]

My mother forwarded me this article a couple days ago. As an Indian kid who was berated for getting 98s in school, and played piano, I'll tell you that it became a massive source of ill feeling for me.

I ended up doing lots of drugs and disappointing my parents by going to Boston College instead of Ivy League, but at least my sister was their redeeming grace. ;)

[Fallen]

1 out of 2 aint bad!

[TheEschaton]

Yeah, she went Ivy League, mastered piano, was valedictorian and student council president, and prom queen. Any Indian mother's dream come true.

The article really bothers me, because I don't know any Asian kid (including my perfect sister) raised under this system, who doesn't have some ill will towards their parents. Maybe such a parenting style would work in China if everyone was doing it, but my best friends were all white growing up, and my best friend got to go to Disney World for getting above a 90 average in 8th grade, while I was asked why I missed 2 points despite being president of my class and top of the class. When exposed to things like that, kids in that situation turn out one of two ways generally: either they have no desire to, and forcefully rebel against, such a mindset, or they live an anxious life where they exist to try and please their parents constantly.

This is true of white people too. My friend in law school ended up being the valedictorian with a 3.98 GPA, and a clerkship at the 2nd Circuit appellate level, and he's going to go clerk at SCOTUS next year. But if you met his father, you'd think the son was a piece of dog shit on the bottom of his shoe, despite the son's attempts to achieve everything. It's kind of crazy.

[AnticorRifling]

That's because he wanted his son to grow up to be a man, not a lawyer.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

It's really interesting to see how family structure and expectations plays into this- like how she said that they feel like their children owe them a lifetime of everything they have.

One of my very good friends was raised like this and though she is financially successful and I suppose she's moderately happy, I wouldn't consider her to be a happy person or well-adjusted. She's extremely shy, she won't date because the thought of bringing home someone to her overbearing, psycho parents makes her hyperventilate, and she does see a therapist because she's a recovering anorexic (and yeah, she got "fat" remarks growing up, when she's rail thin).

What bugs me about this article is it doesn't really go into any of the negative repercussions. It sweeps them under the rug. Not just with rebellion and general unhappiness, BUT things like eating disorders (China has a history of glamorizing disordered eating, see: Lovesick Maidens), child depression and suicide, psychological illness, etc. I know for a lot of people the ends justify the means but when it comes to children I just think it's important that people stop and ask at what cost.

[Fallen]

I wonder what the costs of not "succeeding" are in China versus the United States. I don't know what kind of safety nets they have in China, but I do know you can be a pretty terrific failure in the United States and still not have to worry about starving to death.

[Paradii]

That's because he wanted his son to grow up to be a man, not a lawyer.

Heyyyyyyy-yoooooooooo. Count it!

[Paradii]

I wonder what the costs of not "succeeding" are in China versus the United States. I don't know what kind of safety nets they have in China, but I do know you can be a pretty terrific failure in the United States and still not have to worry about starving to death.

SotT would attest to that.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Relevant:

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldg8o1zTcT1qakgigo1_500.jpg

[Kembal]

It's an excerpt from a book. The book's about (in her words) how she retreated somewhat from that parenting style with her younger daughter.

She answered some questions about the article here: http://blogs.wsj.com/ideas-market/2011/01/13/the-tiger-mother-responds-to-readers/?mod=WSJ_article_related

My parents were nowhere close to that strict, but they definitely got annoyed if I got below an A in any subject. Once I reached middle school, they left extracurriculars up to me (I switched from the piano to debate.) I think that's acceptable.

[Stretch]

Contrary to popular belief, Asian parenting isn't exactly a guarantee to success. It worked on my brother (currently in second year of residency), not me.

The stress and pressure were there, but I was pretty average (mediocre musician at best, less than 3.8 in high school, didn't graduate with honors in college). I didn't go all hippy like Alok though.