Sleeping on the couch

[Tsa`ah]

So last night I found myself sleeping on the couch. Are there people on the forum that don't understand the universal symbol for "you get the couch bastard"?

It's really easy to detect if you're a guy.

You're wife goes to bed an hour earlier than normal. There isn't a kiss goodnight let alone saying goodnight. She just stomps off to bed.

An hour later you're standing next a bed built for two with no more room, and probably standing on your blanket and pillow because they were tossed to the floor. You could have 3 pillows and a damned nice comforter, but you get one pillow (the thinnest) and a blanket that has clearly seen better days.

Now this really isn't a post about me sleeping on the couch last night. This is about what led to ottoman slumber.

My cousin came over yesterday with some disturbing news. He's leaving in a few weeks for Iraq as a civilian employee of Halliburton.

My wife just flipped. She pointed out that he had a daughter, US civilians were dying in Iraq, Halliburton is the devil, and US civilians were dying in Iraq.

I'm sure he knows the risk; he's a smart guy. While I don't agree with his choice, I understand it.

He makes just under 30 grand a year and didn't have a pleasant child hood to begin with. His marriage failed because his ex is a ho, yet he still feels guilt because he couldn't provide his child with an unbroken home and can't giver her the things he was denied.

He submitted a resume to Halliburton’s firm that is handling reconstruction and they've offered him a number of positions. He will be going from under 30k a year to 150k a year.

My wife can't understand this. She doesn't remember what it was like struggling on that kind of pay. She can't see past Halliburton being a globalization devil and the risk to his life. I can understand my wife's point of view, but I just think she's being a tad over-reactive.

She thinks the guy should finish his degree even though he has been turned down for financial aid, even though his ex wrecked his credit rating so bad that he can't get a student loan. Finishing a BS is expensive, finishing a BS when you have a child to support and bills to pay is far from easy.

So, instead of letting my cousin sit there and take this verbal beating from my wife, we leave and go to the bar for a few hours. We talk, we have a few beers over it and I understand and respect his decision. I'm not sure I would be willing to do the same in his shoes, but I respect what he's trying to do.

So I get home and tell my wife that she was out of line and that it's easy for us to say he can find a better paying job state-side. It's easy for us to come to many conclusions because we make a hell of a lot more money.

I mean the guy went through hell as a kid and teenager. He's been knocked down so many times in life and he gets up every time and keeps going. Doesn't he deserve a bit of support even in a decision most people wouldn't agree with?

So that's my couch story for the week. What do you guys think, without bashing my wife that is?

[Myshel]

She is scared, pure and simple. The recent news of the civilians being killed and mutilated in Iraq was probably on her mind. Is the money worth the danger? Why do you think they are offering so much? If they didn't no one would go. Money isn't worth your life. Another thing, when he comes back from Iraq is he guaranteed a job at the same rate of pay, or is this just danger pay?

[Skirmisher]

I'd be willing to wager it's just danger pay.

[Sweets]

Emotions were high. I'm sure she'll cool down and realize it's his decision in the end. No matter how she feels about the whole situation.

I'm sure my husband can commiserate. He had to resort to flowers yesterday. He's been breaking plans with Justin and I for over a week to take on extra work.

I know...I Know. It's for the better poor guy. Sometimes disappointment gets the better of ya. Common sense goes out the window.

[Tsa`ah]

I doubt J is thinking about continuing employment with the company.

From what he told me, the money saved will help him launch his own business or help finish his degree.

He knows his life is at risk but I can't say that I think he's selling out anything.

[Myshel]

I guess the real question is,

Is the danger pay worth the possible lose of life?

I don't want to get stereotypical here, considering the other threads on this subject.. but,

Do men view danger for extra money an acceptable thing?
Do women view it as stupid?

[HarmNone]

Ultimately, it is his decision. I can certainly understand his reasoning, and if he is willing to take the associated risks he cannot be faulted, in my opinion.

I imagine your wife was just a bit taken aback, considering the dangers involved. She reacted emotionally. The good thing is, it shows she cares. The bad thing is, the decision is not hers to make, nor to judge.

If he can work there long enough to get himself together and finish his education, the future will be much brighter for him. There is certainly no way he could earn that kind of money (all but free of taxes, by the way) in this country, considering his present circumstances. The guy is trying to make a better life for himself. There should be credit given for that, as I see it.

All in all, the storm will probably have blown over by tonight, hon, once your wife has a chance to think about things a bit. Her emotions just got the better of her. :)

HarmNone

[Skirmisher]

I don't know if its a man vs woman issue.

Cops are in danger every day. Firemen are in danger every day. Both for alot less per year.

I hate to sound like i'm putting a price tag on a human life, but is is alot of money for someone without an advanced degree. He is not being forced to do anything and should by this time be well aware of the dangers in going.

I would not want my brother to go....but they get people to go by offering more money than they would have a chance to legally earn elsewhere. For many that opportunity is very hard to turn down and Haliburton counts on that to fill their staff.

[Myshel]

What Harmnone said.

Acknowledge her fears, there is no right or wrong to this situation. You don't have to agree with her, to support him.

[Sean]

I'm assuming he wouldn't have willingly signed up if the risk wasn't worth the reward for him.

[Tsa`ah]

Originally posted by Myshel
I guess the real question is,

Is the danger pay worth the possible lose of life?

I don't want to get stereotypical here, considering the other threads on this subject.. but,

Do men view danger for extra money an acceptable thing?
Do women view it as stupid?

I don't want to make broad sweeping statements concerning one gender or another, but I would have to say that there are situations where men are less concerned about the risk of death than women.

In my cousin's situation he feels like a failure to begin with. He's divorced and he thinks he has deprived his daughter of a traditional home. He's able to provide for what's left of his family, but he doesn't see how he'll be able to send his daughter to college, help her with her first car, and help her with her homework when he's working a second job.

I think he's justified and rationalized a year or two worth of risk for what he will be able to provide that he can't now.

It's easy for me to sit back and say, "Well you could finish college, you could get a job that will provide tuition assistance, you can do this or that", but I know what it's like to struggle. I know what it's like to look at my children and wonder what the hell I'm going to do. I know exactly what it's like to choose between bills and food.

The truth is that he doesn't know what he wants to do when he grows up, and he's the same age as I. He didn't grow up with parents that taught him morals and values, he learned those by observing what not to do.

No one has ever given the man a break and he's never looked for one. I think this is his way to prove to himself that he's worth more than life has dealt him.

[HarmNone]

I will say this: If he takes this opportunity, the people he meets there will become a network on which he can rely for the rest of his life. People who work in environments like this form special bonds. :)

HarmNone

[Adhara]

I am unable to decide if it's the right decision or not. I am not trying to determine if it's the right decision or not. It definitely feels like the right decision to him and that's what matters. Concerns can be brought to his attention but once he's aware of them, that's all you can do. There comes a point where one must accept that the decision is made and instead of obstinately maintaining an opposing stance, one must move to the next step, which in this case would be something like asking him (make him promise even!) to take extra precautions in certain situations, etc.

That's for the decision. Now, the sleeping on the couch bit, that's a bit much. I'm surprised that she (as in, a wife in this situation) would go as far as sending you (a husband in this situation) to sleep on the couch. I know why she did it, but I can't say I understand it. I can understand being ticked off by you choosing to support something she can't possibly accept but I feel a discussion would have accomplished much more than sending you to the dog house.

What's done is done though and I think you should be understanding and not bring up this incident (sleeping on the couch, not the other issue) again, not tomorrow and not ever. She'll be grateful for it and it will send a non-verbal message to her that you respect her opinion.

[Artha]

What part of Iraq's he going to be in?

[TheEschaton]

That is a difficult decision to make, Tsa`ah, and he should only get support for the choice, even if voicing your concerns, whether safety or re: issues of social justice.

As for throwing you to the couch: Who can understand women? My best friend once got thrown on the couch for buying the wrong kind of milk (2% instead of skim).


-TheE-

[MPSorc]

Tsa'ah you really need to talk with her, she is genuinely concerned about your cousin's well being, and most likely upset that you two can just go off and go drinking about it, i know that is what guys do sometimes, but you really need to sit down and see her points of view, im sure she has many, as i did when my friend decided he was just going to up and accept a contract to work in Iraq and that was before the "end" of major conflict, and when you do talk to her be understanding of her feelings and actually listen to her, i know when my wife starts talking about serious things i have already made my mind up i can tend to tune things out...like words..and only tune in when i hear are you listening which usually comes when i have said a couple of "uh huh's" a little too close together. But when i am really concerned about the situation like she is we just sit down and basicly debate calmly until we come to an accord.

so after lines of rambling, talk to her, listen to her, understand her point of view show her you do care.

[Makkah]

Just tell him to do what he thinks is best for him, and tell your wife to respect it. Plain and simple.

rht

[TheRoseLady]

Sounds to me like she is more upset that you didn't take her side and back her up. And by slipping off to the bar, you basically "chose his side". Personally I don't relegate my husband to the couch - so I can't really comment.

I would venture to guess that there's more behind the surface that has resulted in her responding in such a manner. Usually if I respond strongly to something, it's because there are other mitigating circumstances (real or imagined - not ONE word PB). You haven't indicated if she's the type of person who has strong reactions to things on a fairly common basis. If this sort of response is out of the ordinary- then you need to dig a bit deeper.

-TRL

[Edited on 4-24-2004 by TheRoseLady]

[Weedmage Princess]

It's hard for not expect that sort of reaction from your wife, Tsa'ah. I mean it does seem like every day someone else is dying in Iraq. It's frightening and your wife is understandably scared.

However, it's pretty easy to see why your cousin is doing this. This move would open up many opportunities for him...plus it's experience. How many college graduates do you know find a hard time finding a job once they complete their degree because they have no experience? A lot, probably.

Whenever a loved one is in danger, emotions tend to run high. Give your wife some time, let her calm down some...she will eventually. Once she does, talk to her again. Like everyone else said..at the end of the day, this is your cousin's decision. Considering the way his life's been from what you said...he's going to need all the support he can get.

[Edaarin]

Just say it's your fault and get it over with.

[Mint]

I don't know much about Halliburton. I imagine they provide security during working hours but do they provide it after hours as well? Do they house the workers together so they can do so or are they on their own while not working?

I can understand his desire to provide for his child but I can also understand your wife's point of view. If my father had done something similiar and died as a result the money he might have made would be meaningless to me. But it is your cousins choice so being supportive is all you can do I suppose.

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by Mint
I don't know much about Halliburton. I imagine they provide security during working hours but do they provide it after hours as well? Do they house the workers together so they can do so or are they on their own while not working?Unless their security is on par with the United States Armed Forces, our civilians over there will be targeted. Terrorists aren't stupid, they'll hit the easy targets that will cause a big reaction.

[Edited on 4-24-2004 by Latrinsorm]

What kind of job is it? After I deploy I ETS out of the Army and I'm getting a major dick about my ROTC shit, I could use 150k for college.

P.s. I've found that people are far from sympathetic with the way you conduct your life when they have never experienced the things that you have.

That works in all directions.

I think most prentenious rich fucks should be shot in the face, as most rich pretentious folks think people like me have no place in society. I understand it, I accept it, but its still fucked up.

In all reality, I doubt there is much that you could say to your wife at all to make her understand the point of view of your cousin. All i can really suggest is stick to your guns and continue to believe in your cousin and hope she comes around on her own.

I don't have a wife or kids so its probaly alot easier for me to say this, but I wouldn't ever let anybody influence my opinion of my family or close personal friends like that. If my wife wasn't able to accept that, then I'd be a coach sleeping motherfucker.

[Mint]

Originally posted by Latrinsorm
[quote]Unless their security is on par with the United States Armed Forces, our civilians over there will be targeted. Terrorists aren't stupid, they'll hit the easy targets that will cause a big reaction.


Well of course they won't be able to provide the level of security the armed forces could. My question was what level of security DO they provide. Especially when these civilian employees are off work.

[Jazuela]

Blech. Being tossed on the couch is such a foreign concept to me. If I was pissed at my husband for something I'd want him as close as possible. Just being around him, even when I'm pissed at him, has a calming effect on me. And he'd never make me sleep in the couch - he can't sleep very well if I'm not next to him in bed.

Sorry your wife did that, Ts'ah, and I wish I could give you advice on that end of the situation. But I just can't fathom it at all.

As for the thing that led up to it - you probably shouldn't have gone to the bar with the guy. Your wife was obviously upset, and when you're married, your spouse comes before your friends. You don't have to agree with her, you don't even have to pretend to agree with her. But when she's upset, you don't go walking off with someone else to another location. You stay with your spouse and work it out, or have a fight, or change the subject, or whatever you need to do to get peace back in the house.

I disagree about the spouse always coming before the friends. That will probaly be the contributing factor to me never being marrid, but I've been through hell and back with my friends. I'd never forsake them for anybody else in this world. Besides, it was his cousin, not his friend.

Point being, His wife was being overly sensitive and the cousin was the one about to go risk his life for a year to get ahead. I think the wife will manage, but imagine how it will be if the cousin never comes back and Tsa'ash said "Hey man, I wish i could help ya out with this difficult situation but my wife is throwing a hissy fit, so kick rocks."

[Edaarin]

Honestly...my opinion on this may change, but right now to me family is the only constant, permanent thing in life. His cousin wanted his support in this, not necessarily an acknowledgement that he was doing the right thing (I think that's the way it comes off anyway). I don't understand what the big deal is either way myself, I guess it means when you get married you're not allowed to ever disagree with your wife?

Bro's before ho's. Women are completely, utterly insane.

[Jazuela]

Woops I missed the sentence where he said it was his cousin. Skip my thoughts on the matter. Your wife was being unreasonable and you did the right thing by bringing a blood-relative to the bar to help him talk things out. Blood is thicker than water and all that.

[Shari]

Perhaps there is something deeper going on, when she cools off, try talking to her about it. Tell her how you feel about him going, whether you think its a bad idea or not. Explain why you feel this way. Let her know that you are going to support his decision because no matter what you tell him he's going to go through it anyway (because thats how it sounds like). I don't have kids, but if I can understand wanting to sacrifice myself for the betterment of my family. Perhaps if you could get a way for her to be in his (your cousin's) shoes for a moment it will help her understand.

For the record, I have slept on the couch a few times myself.

[DCSL]

Just to speak on the "bros before hos" thing... I don't know about anyone else, but that's just silly to me. Sure, when you're just dating someone, your friends and blood family should probably mean more, have more influence. I've dumped guys over friend issues in the past, and been dumped for same, and I understand it.

But I'm practically married now, engaged, and my soon-to-be IS my family now. Maybe it's a female thing, I dunno. Or maybe it's a me thing. I love him more than anything on earth and I'll love our children even more than that, probably. It doesn't mean I no longer love my friends and family, I do, but what I form through marriage and in childbirth will now be my immediate family, whether blood-related or not.

That said, his wife does seem a little more upset than the situation warrants.. I mean, the only time my boyfriend ever slept on the couch was when we were on the verge of breaking up, and then I took turns on the couch, too. I'll agree with some of the others and say that there must be some deeper problem than just a disagreement. She's either scared or it's something else.

[Souzy]

She got emotional over it. It's his choice and she should've respected it. Giving your opinion about it is ok, but don't knock him for making that decision. That's just kinda stubborn if she wasn't trying to hear his reasons. Child support is no joke and I'm sure bills suck too, the mans trying to bring in some cash flow. So, 30k vs. 100k, shoot I'd go for it too at that time. But, give him a couple days and he'll think about the pro's and cons. Erm...if I was his wife, I would've prolly reacted the same way your wife did. Plus some tears, then I wouldn't speak to him for a day or so, lol.

P.S. I wanted to bash the mrs. :down:

Edited cos I'm too hung over to be thinking today.

[Edited on 4-24-2004 by Lalana]

[Weedmage Princess]

It isn't just you, DCSL. A lot of it is just experience and wisdom. Usually a lot of young people or people not in a serious (both men and women) have the whole "Bros before Hoes" mindset--myself included when I was younger and single, but like Edaarin hinted at...it tends to change in time...the time being when they finally meet someone who's not "just some dude/chick." There's a difference between just a dude/chick and your life partner...or someone who has the potential to be that. They become everything your friends are..and then something more, something special.

Then there are others who just will always be alone anyway and have a very low chance of finding anyone to love them...for whatever reason. Usually a piss-poor personality is the reason.

Anyway Tsa'ah, keep us posted and I hope everything gets sorted. :)

[Edited on 4-24-2004 by Weedmage Princess]

Weedmage I disagree. My situation might vary from yours or others so take what you want.

When\If I have a wife; If she is unaccepting of the relationship I have with my friends and she is incapable of coping with the fact, then chances are she won't be my wife for long, if at all.

Now, I'm not talking about casual acquaintences or dudes I work\hang out with occasionally. I'm talking about my life long friends.

[Edaarin]

I also hinted (said as much) [proclaimed] that women are insane.

[TheEschaton]

Your wife was obviously upset, and when you're married, your spouse comes before your friends.


Bros before hoes, dicks before chicks, biatch!


-TheE-

[Souzy]

Originally posted by Edaarin
I also hinted (said as much) [proclaimed] that women are insane.

We might be crazy, but who's ass was sleeping on the little bitty couch?

[Bobmuhthol]

<<I also hinted (said as much) [proclaimed] that women are insane.>>

Some (most) [all] girls are also retarded.

[Weedmage Princess]

It's not a matter of accepting the relationship you have with your friends, Ranger..atleast that's not what I meant...of course she'd have to put up with your friends...just like you'll have to put up with her friends.

I just mean the way certain situations are handled. If/when you find someone who means that much to you, it's not as clear cut, black and white like "Bros before Hoes" or anything like that. It's a whole other ballgame. Either way though, barring any significant disrespect on either parties' part, both SHOULD be able to co-exist peacefully.

[Weedmage Princess]

Well Edaarin you're just a punk :mad:

[Tsa`ah]

I think my wife was more upset that I didn't side with her and I wasn't about to let her lay into my cousin like that.

She's upset for a number of reasons but I think she sort of feels betrayed that he is choosing to find employment with a morally bankrupt company.

We've talked about it most of today and she's calmer about it but she just can't understand why he doesn't have many choices.

It's not like the man can just re-enroll and instantly get a better paying job and there aren't many, if any, jobs that he can get that will pay that much within a year.

He's been thinking about this for months so it's not like he's just jumping into a situation without a thought.

This isn't a scenario about betrayal, as my wife knows I put nothing before family and she knows this wasn't a case of me putting my cousin before her.

I don't know really, I'm beginning to babble. The points are that she doesn't like Haliburton, she doesn't like the war in Iraq and sees the reasons are completely BS, and she doesn't like the idea of family facilitating reconstruction for US interests.

It'll take time but thankfully I had some foresight when we went furniture shopping a few years ago. The couch is large and comfy.

morally bankrupt company:no:

[Tendarian]

My opinion is whoever is pissed can go sleep on the couch. Ive never been the one who went to sleep on the couch,whether i was in the wrong or not. Im not a badass or anything either, ive never even been in a fight(physically) with anyone.

The "Bro's before Ho's" thing works well when your just casually dating. But when you are considering marriage and all that i think the exact opposite to be true. Ill always be on my gf side and if im not ill wait til we are alone to discuss it. I refuse to fight in front of anyone as you both just end up looking like dipshits.

[Souzy]

Originally posted by Tendarian
I refuse to fight in front of anyone as you both just end up looking like dipshits.

You are the only man I've ever heard say that. I :heart: you already.

[Mint]

Originally posted by Tendarian

The "Bro's before Ho's" thing works well when your just casually dating. But when you are considering marriage and all that i think the exact opposite to be true.

I :heart: him because of this statement

[Souzy]

All the little fellas in here need to listen to :heart: Tendarian :heart: haha. I'm serious though. :D

[Tendarian]

Ouch im gonna get blasted by every guy here,i can just feel it. Couldnt you at least bash me for refusing to ever sleep on the couch?

[Bobmuhthol]

Tendarian, you suck.

[Tsa`ah]

I think you need to lose the cherry before you can make a comment Bob.

Sorry, them's the rules.

[Souzy]

LMAO Tsa'ah! This is true.

Oh and right or wrong Tendarian, you sleep on the couch. Mmmkay? Happy now? But, you still won :heart: points for that post. :aww:

[Tendarian]

Much better thank you.

[Weedmage Princess]

Originally posted by Tendarian
The "Bro's before Ho's" thing works well when your just casually dating. But when you are considering marriage and all that i think the exact opposite to be true.

DING!


Originally posted by Tendarian
Ill always be on my gf side and if im not ill wait til we are alone to discuss it. I refuse to fight in front of anyone as you both just end up looking like dipshits.

DING!

No matter how much I might disagree with my husband on something..and if he and a friend of mine are fighting...I'll just keep quiet and discuss it with him alone at some point later on. I've always done the same thing when it came to my family vs. my friends. Blood is thicker than water but marriage is to stand by that person's side and they by yours...no matter what...for better or for worse. People seem to forget that. :nono:

[Weedmage Princess]

Oh and Tsa'ah I'm glad you worked it all out with your wife :)

[Shari]

Edaarin and Bob only make this statement because when you're that young...you still think that girls have cooties. :smug:

[Weedmage Princess]

Edaarin, in your infamous nipple-licking pic...was it a woman's nipple you were licking? If not, I think I suddenly understand your woman-bashing. ::flees::

[Galleazzo]

Cops are in danger every day. Firemen are in danger every day. Both for alot less per year. Word.

The thing that gets me here is how your wife figures she gets pissy at all. It ain't you going. It's your cousin. He's a big boy and gets to make his own decisions in life, and I bet he didn't ask her permission first.

Yeah ..... I won't contradict my woman in public, but that goes two ways. It ain't right to go off on someone because they work for a "morally bankrupt company." What the fuck? Does she drive a car? Doesn't it bother her to pour money into the pockets of the oil companies? She gets a book or a magazine, she's paying for the landraping paper companies to strip the hills and forests. She use detergent to wash dishes? What river or lake does that shit wind up in?

None of us got clean hands, and we ought not go off on other folk for what we do our ownselves.

[Myshel]

When I got married, my husband disliked quite a few of my friends. We fought about it a lot. He would tell me, your too naive, these people aren't your friends. One night at a dinner party, the ones he disliked the most sat and brought up *old memories* ones that I would have rather forgot, for laughs. I was embarrassed and my new hubby told them off. We left in a huff and he told me then, those people do not love you as you love them. I saw finally he was right, because he did love me and wanted to protect me. The ones he did like are the ones I still have as friends today. Sometimes old friends aren't really friends just habits that you have a long history with.

As far as sleeping on the couch, when I'm mad enough not to want to sleep next to him, I sleep on the couch. Why should I throw him out of *our* bed, same goes for him.

[Betheny]

Tsa'ah, I think your wife needs some Xanax.

All one can do is offer an opinion of what someone else is going to do, but honestly, it isn't her decision, it's his. And that's all there should be to it. An understanding spouse wouldn't let someone else's life changing decision be a strain on the marriage. She should support him in whatever it is he wants to do. Whether Halliburton is the devil (according to her) or not. Some people think the armed forces are the devil. Some people think where I work is the devil, because we supply animal testing equipment to laboratories (we supply more than that, but that's part of it.). Too bad, so sad. It's not her decision.

[Edaarin]

Originally posted by Weedmage Princess
Edaarin, in your infamous nipple-licking pic...

For the last time, that was a vicious rumor started by Sintik, Tijay, and Tayvin.

[Ravenstorm]

Originally posted by Edaarin

Originally posted by Weedmage Princess
Edaarin, in your infamous nipple-licking pic...

For the last time, that was a vicious rumor started by Sintik, Tijay, and Tayvin.

He's right. I definitely heard it was nibbling not licking.

Raven

[Weedmage Princess]

I can't speak for the other two (well I can speak for Sintik but it's nothing good ::cackle:: ) but Tijay has always been an upstanding bastion of truth, knowledge, justice..and the American way. So I don't know.

*edited to add: Except for when he (Tijay) calls me old. Then he's a dirty rotten liar who needs to have his teeth kicked down his stinkin' throat! :flamed:

[Edited on 4-25-2004 by Weedmage Princess]

[Wezas]

Don't think I've ever been denied going to bed from my girl. She's the type who wants to solve any beef that night and not go to sleep mad.

That being said, I sleep on the couch constantly. Usually because I'm downstairs late a) reading the boards, b) playing a game, or c) watching TV. And my tired ass doesn't feel like walking up the stairs and coaxing the dog to go upstairs with me for a doggie treat.

Couch = comfy & much cooler then upstairs.

Also prevents me saying "Stop holding me, I'm getting too hot (physically, not sexually)" and kicking the covers off.

[Betheny]

I don't think anything's so important that you should kick your partner out of bed. Sometimes things can't be worked out right away, but the only time I ever kicked my ex out of bed was when he came home drenched in his girlfriend's perfume and lied to me. But I think I was justified.

[Tendarian]

Originally posted by Maimara
I don't think anything's so important that you should kick your partner out of bed. Sometimes things can't be worked out right away, but the only time I ever kicked my ex out of bed was when he came home drenched in his girlfriend's perfume and lied to me. But I think I was justified.

:thumbsup: He is lucky you didnt kick him out of the house.

[Betheny]

He's just lucky I had the flu and had taken so much Ny Quil I couldn't get up and into the kitchen to find my trusty knife. :rant:

[AnticorRifling]

Just read this for the first time and...

I will never sleep on the couch. I don't care how cold the wife is to me or if my pillows are in the hallway. I pick them up and go to bed. She can bitch, she can moan but I didn't pay for a bed not to use it so I don't care. She has the problem so she can, and has, sleep/slept on the couch. She has since given up the you will sleep on the couch bullshit because she knows it doesn't work with me.

While it's not plesent to sleep in bed with a pissed off woman I take solace knowing she isn't sleeping either :cool:

In summary....


Glad you worked it out.

You were right and she, like most women, flipped out due to emotions over logic (that will get me in trouble)

Sleeping on the couch is a no go.

[Betheny]

Just as long as it isn't gassy angry. I dunno if I could handle someone farting maliciously in bed.

[Tendarian]

Heh when you fart you are supposed to pull the blankets over both your heads and yell covered wagon. Or at leasts thats what i do.

[Betheny]

I told my boyfriend if he ever turtled me I would hurt him badly. He has n't tried it yet.

[AnticorRifling]

You people and your dutch ovens.

[Kadumi]

Yay for the dutch oven!

Anyhow, sleeping on the couch, the silent treatment, all that mess falls under the category of 'chick shit.' There is nothing you can do about it short of injecting them with testosterone while they're asleep.

[Xcalibur]

Eh, no.

No men should sleep on the coach. If the lady in question is not able to make sense, strategic leaving (leaving the house/app) is the best thing to do.

Accepting it won't solve ANYTHING, on the contrary.