to anyone that has (or is) a nanny

[Keller]

Our current nanny is moving out of the state and so we're exploring new options.

We found a really great nanny, but she's got some (unreasonable) requirements. I've listed them below with my proposed responses. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts, especially if you've had recent experience in this industry.

1) 2 weeks of paid vacation + 1 week of paid sick time.

We're going to offer 1 week + the week between Christmas/NY. She will have to have schedule her other time off in advance so we can find alternative arrangements.

2) She wants all federal holidays off and paid.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH is pretty much my response. Being a non-federal employee in a federal city is already annoying enough (I watch them walk to happy hour at 4:30 every afternoon). I'll be damned if I pay my hourly help to work a federal schedule. This will actually be a deal-breaker. We'll give her the day after Thanksgiving, the 4th of July, etc - but I'll be damned if she gets President's Day or Columbus Day.

3) She wants to be paid, regardless of whether we use her.

I understand her desire for a steady paycheck, but I'm not paying her to do nothing if we're out of town. I'm going to offer to pay her while we're gone, but in a different capacity (e.g., she'll clean our home).

[Sam]

why would you want someone else to raise your kid?

[Tgo01]

I don't know about the 1 week paid sick leave but 2 weeks vacation doesn't sound too unreasonable. Hell even Walmart gives their employees 1 week paid vacation during their first year of service, two years during their second year.

2 and 3 do sound quite unreasonable.

[Androidpk]

why would you want someone else to raise your kid?

This.

[Keller]

I don't know about the 1 week paid sick leave but 2 weeks vacation doesn't sound too unreasonable. Hell even Walmart gives their employees 1 week paid vacation during their first year of service, two years during their second year.

2 and 3 do sound quite unreasonable.

I'm fine with the two weeks of paid vacation. We're just worried she might abuse it knowing that we'll always travel over that holiday. So she'll in effect get three paid weeks of vacations. We'll give her two weeks, but we get to choose one of those weeks.

[ZeP]

Trustworthy family member is the only option. You can't count on other people enough for something like this. Fuck the vacation time, run a mock fire drill and see what they do.

[pabstblueribbon]

Is your wife hot?

[Keller]

Trustworthy family member is the only option. You can't count on other people enough for something like this. Fuck the vacation time, run a mock fire drill and see what they do.

Closest family member is a 14 hour car ride away.

She provided three references from prior employers. She's practically Mrs. Doubtfire, which is the only reason I'm even entertaining her requests/demands.

[Mogonis]

Okay. Just make sure there's no penis underneath.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

1 I think can be negotiated, and in it I think you could include 2. Maybe sit down and pre-approve a list of holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, 4th of July) and from there work out a paid vacation deal (I think 1 week is reasonable).

As far as 3 goes, I think your best bet to working that out is just talking to her. You have no idea if she's been burned before in this capacity- random, "Oh, we're going out of town for a week so HAHA on this weeks worth of pay for you!". IMO you can't blame her. I think you should try to work something out where you need to give her X amount of notice if you won't be using her on a 'regular' day, and/or work out before hand if that happens that she'll be doing something for you in another capacity (housekeeping) to earn said pay. My brother was a nanny and this was how him and his employer operated, re: ensuring steady pay.

[Sam]

I think you or your wife should stop working and raise your kid.

[4a6c1]

I had one permanent Nanny for my daughter right up until recently and a few temp nannies to fill in along the way. I think I can give you viable advice.

1) 1 week of paid time off per year is reasonable if the dates are agreed upon. Vanessa and I tossed around dates until she finally decided to take a week in Summer when my classes were lightest. I paid her for a week of fun in some town up north where there is this gigantic mall or something. I dunno. She came back happy and great as ever.

2) There is something called 'holiday matching'. Many professional nannies do this and I suggest finding one. It will save you heartache and headache.

....Off AND Paid? orlly. lolol. No.

3).........................

Ok, Keller this crazy bitch is taking you for a ride. There are tons of good hard working women out there looking to do actual work in order to get paid. Please go find one.

Wow, I dont even understand why you are considering leaving your kid with someone this unreasonable. Most professional nannies dont ask for crazy crap. Call her. Quietly tell her that her job requirements are unreasonable and that you are going to continue until you find someone who you think is a better fit for your family. Say goodbye and hangup.

[4a6c1]

I think you or your wife should stop working and raise your kid.

Uh ok. Quite often both the man and the woman in a relationship are accompanied by their very own full functioning brains. When this is the case it is necessary for these human beings to break the traditional/accepted and close-minded ideas of the "family unit" and *gasp* bring a professional expert into the family to help both parents continue with their successful lives without sacrificing their own ideals, passions and interests. Thus the child grows up knowing their parents as people who are passionate, happy and fulfilled in careers they love instead of rundown, stretched thin and defined entirely by their reproductive organs.


tldr/ARMY MANUAL: Sometimes it is possible to do two things at once.

[JJBummer]

A good nanny is hard to find so I understand your indecision. What we do is:

One week paid vacation

6 major holidays paid and off

No payment for not working

I suggest you have her do a working interview, one week, no commitment by either party with (lower) pay to see if she is all you think she is. If she is, write up a contract outlining all of her duties, salary and exact benefits. Putting it in writing will save you grief later.

[Delias]

Offer her a substantial bonus if your child reaches adulthood with no complaints of abuse or molestation.

[AnticorRifling]

Good friends is what we used. My buddy that worked with me his wife was a stay at home mom so she took care of the boys for 3 years. It was awesome and I couldn't imagine trying to do it without something like that.

Good luck man, 2 working parents means you've got to find someone quality to take care of your kid during the day and quality doesn't come cheap but this isn't an area to nickel and dime.

I will tell you once they hit 4 and can do all day preschool...fuck yeah that shit is costing me half!

[Keller]

I think you or your wife should stop working and raise your kid.

Your advice has been noted.

You can stop trolling my thread now.

[Keller]

....Off AND Paid? orlly. lolol. No.

3).........................

Ok, Keller this crazy bitch is taking you for a ride. There are tons of good hard working women out there looking to do actual work in order to get paid. Please go find one.

Because we're in DC, I suspect her previous families worked for the federal gov't and just gave her all the days off that they were home anyways. I, on the other hand, can become incredibly bitter at all the extra days off federal employees get and will refuse to give her those off and paid.

Like I said, I can understand her need for a steady paycheck, but she is not salaried and non-salaried employees don't get paid for not working.

[Rinualdo]

Is there really a fundamental difference between hiring a nanny and putting your child in daycare?

[Keller]

A good nanny is hard to find so I understand your indecision. What we do is:

One week paid vacation

6 major holidays paid and off

No payment for not working

I suggest you have her do a working interview, one week, no commitment by either party with (lower) pay to see if she is all you think she is. If she is, write up a contract outlining all of her duties, salary and exact benefits. Putting it in writing will save you grief later.

Thanks, that is helpful.

[Keller]

Is there really a fundamental difference between hiring a nanny and putting your child in daycare?

Daycares here have giant waiting lists and cost nearly as much as a nanny.

I'd rather have discretion over her caregiver and 1-on-1 care.

[Parkbandit]

Must be a northeast thing... my wife has been a nanny for the past 4-5 years and she gets no paid time off. She's paid very well for the work she actually does.

[msconstrew]

Is there really a fundamental difference between hiring a nanny and putting your child in daycare?

Yes. IMO, nanny is highly preferable to daycare, IF you can find a good nanny.

[CrystalTears]

Is there really a fundamental difference between hiring a nanny and putting your child in daycare?
I imagine that there is more convenience of allowing the child to be in their own home/environment and not having to deal with other bratty, snotty kids. I'd prefer a nanny over a daycare as well.

[AnticorRifling]

Is there really a fundamental difference between hiring a nanny and putting your child in daycare?

Huge difference. Probably for us the biggest difference was specialized care/attention. The lady that watched our boys only watched our boys. She was very good about the early education stuff that we had planned out, all the meals and snacks were good, etc. I don't think you're going to get that kind of attention for your kid at a daycare just because of simple numbers.

[msconstrew]

Huge difference. Probably for us the biggest difference was specialized care/attention. The lady that watched our boys only watched our boys. She was very good about the early education stuff that we had planned out, all the meals and snacks were good, etc. I don't think you're going to get that kind of attention for your kid at a daycare just because of simple numbers.

This. In addition, you get the ease of no drop offs/pick ups AND less chance of being disease-ridden from the daycare environment. The majority of my friends have opted for nannies, if they could afford it.

[Gan]

Have you checked with the local Nanny's union for collective bargaining points?

[AnticorRifling]

This. In addition, you get the ease of no drop offs/pick ups AND less chance of being disease-ridden from the daycare environment. The majority of my friends have opted for nannies, if they could afford it.

I dropped mine off but then again the husband was riding into work with me so I was picking him up there anyway.

Personal daycare/nanny was cheaper for me than paying for all day daycare for 2 toddlers.

[Rinualdo]

Huge difference. Probably for us the biggest difference was specialized care/attention. The lady that watched our boys only watched our boys. She was very good about the early education stuff that we had planned out, all the meals and snacks were good, etc. I don't think you're going to get that kind of attention for your kid at a daycare just because of simple numbers.

I was only making the point that I fail to understand the outrage Brute and others are showing.

Paying someone to watch your children, in or out of your home, is a necessary and common choice. Why the outrage?

[Sam]

That was some awfully subtle outrage.

edit: also, just because something is a common choice, doesn't make it a good one. All situations are different though, and I don't know the details. I just think a parent should be the primary caregiver if it's a viable option...

[Keller]

Have you checked with the local Nanny's union for collective bargaining points?

I don't know about any nanny unions, but there was a survey done in 2008 and 92.8% of DC nannies got paid whether they were needed or not.

Kind of shocking.

[CrystalTears]

I just think a parent should be the primary caregiver if it's a viable option...Obviously the parent should be the full-time primary caregiver. However it's also quite obvious that it's not a viable solution, ergo the need for a nanny.

[Gan]

Old article but somewhat informative.

$100K Nannies

Good news -- evidence that quality child care is becoming increasingly valued in our society. Last Friday, USA Today ran an article in the Money section titled CEOs Shell Out Nearly 6 Figures to Secure the Perfect Nanny (http://www.usatoday.com/money/companies/2006-06-29-nannies-usat_x.htm). The cover story profiled several experienced, college-educated nannies who earn close to $100,000, plus benefits including paid vacations, room and board, gym memberships, employer-furnished vehicles, cellphones and health insurance. For those of you interested in finding nannies with these qualifications -- or applying for these jobs yourselves -- an international resource cited in the article is the International Nanny Association (http://www.nanny.org/). A well-known Washington, D.C., agency is White House Nannies (http://www.whitehousenannies.com/), and a quick Internet search reveals dozens more high-end nanny placement firms around the country.

For average nanny salaries in your area, check out the International Nanny Association's 2006 Salary Survey (http://www.nanny.org/2006salarysurvey.htm), which breaks out results by region. Salaries ranged from $300 to more than $1,000 per week. Most nannies reporting making roughly $12-$15 an hour, with incremental overnight pay of up to $100 per night. The survey was based on 1,119 respondents.

The article explains what most moms (and at least a few dads) already know -- that raising children is a serious job that demands equally serious compensation. When both parents work full-time, a family needs a well-educated, highly competent child-care provider who can do far more than wipe noses and schedule play dates. Dual-career couples are responsible for 68 percent of nanny hiring, according to USA Today, and they are willing to pay well for college-educated nannies with degrees in fields such as education, nursing and child psychology who can home-school children, help with geometry homework and teach such skills as swimming, sports and languages.

The downside? Another fact of life for working parents: Our country needs more affordable high-quality child care. But a six-figure salary means respect in this country, and, as such, marks an important milestone. This dollar-respect for child-care providers at the top end of the salary scale should have a halo effect on all child-care providers -- paid and unpaid -- over time.

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/onbalance/2006/07/100k_nannies.html



http://www.whitehousenannies.com/images/DC-nightime.jpg

[Sam]

However it's also quite obvious that it's not a viable solution...

I guess I missed where this was explained

[Rinualdo]

I guess I missed where this was explained

I don't recall anywhere in the thread someone asking an opinion on nannies, just a response to those who have or have had one.

[Jhynnifer]

It is common to offer 1 week of paid vacation AFTER the first year of service (you acrue it during the first year). Then to offer 2 weeks after the 5 year.

Demanding 2 weeks off out of the gate is a little much, but if she's worth it...

The sick time should be a given.

Federal holidays off with pay? BWAHAHA... if she wants that, she should work for the government. However, a list of normal holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, 4th of July) etc, should be entertained. She should realize that you do not work for the government and that requires flexibility on her part.

As for the paying with/without using her. I agree with you there. I can understand where she's coming from but its unreasonable for her to demand to be paid for doing nothing. If she is willing to do more housekeeping duties during this time, then a deal could be worked out.



Our current nanny is moving out of the state and so we're exploring new options.

We found a really great nanny, but she's got some (unreasonable) requirements. I've listed them below with my proposed responses. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts, especially if you've had recent experience in this industry.

1) 2 weeks of paid vacation + 1 week of paid sick time.

We're going to offer 1 week + the week between Christmas/NY. She will have to have schedule her other time off in advance so we can find alternative arrangements.

2) She wants all federal holidays off and paid.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH is pretty much my response. Being a non-federal employee in a federal city is already annoying enough (I watch them walk to happy hour at 4:30 every afternoon). I'll be damned if I pay my hourly help to work a federal schedule. This will actually be a deal-breaker. We'll give her the day after Thanksgiving, the 4th of July, etc - but I'll be damned if she gets President's Day or Columbus Day.

3) She wants to be paid, regardless of whether we use her.

I understand her desire for a steady paycheck, but I'm not paying her to do nothing if we're out of town. I'm going to offer to pay her while we're gone, but in a different capacity (e.g., she'll clean our home).

[Gan]

We use a part-time nanny that is a college student from the nearby university.

Soon I hope to change my employment structure so that I office from home again and that will free me up for pick up and drop off for school and afterschool activities (karate, little league, swimming, etc.)

[CrystalTears]

I guess I missed where this was explained
If they are looking for a nanny, it stands to reason that neither of them can stay home. I doubt that you stating one of them should be home that suddenly it dawned on them and the need is no longer necessary.

[Keller]

I guess I missed where this was explained

I think I've been pretty polite up until this point.

Your opinion has been stated three times now and I've politely accepted your suggestion. I've intentionally ignored your other posts because I'm not looking for a lecture on how to employ my family's resources. Both my wife and I are very capable of making those decisions and if we need advice we've got a very strong network of friends and family that know us intimately and can help us think through any decision we bring to them. We've both decided that employing an individual for 35 hrs per week to care for our daughter will allow us to fulfill our career objectives.

If you want to, please begin your own thread discussing the relative merits of having childcare and I'd be happy to weigh in. But this thread is about the industry standards for nannies and not whether they should be used.

[Sam]

Sorry boss, I was just responding to the remarks directed at me.

[Parkbandit]

I think I've been pretty polite up until this point.

Your opinion has been stated three times now and I've politely accepted your suggestion. I've intentionally ignored your other posts because I'm not looking for a lecture on how to employ my family's resources. Both my wife and I are very capable of making those decisions and if we need advice we've got a very strong network of friends and family that know us intimately and can help us think through any decision we bring to them. We've both decided that employing an individual for 35 hrs per week to care for our daughter will allow us to fulfill our career objectives.

If you want to, please begin your own thread discussing the relative merits of having childcare and I'd be happy to weigh in. But this thread is about the industry standards for nannies and not whether they should be used.

:rofl:

[diethx]

She's practically Mrs. Doubtfire

So... she's a man in prosthetics with the specific aim of getting close to your kid? :help: (probably should've gone with Mary Poppins)

Anyway on a serious note, I don't have kids so I have no experience in this field other than doing some babysitting from 13-15. However #2 and 3 sound very unreasonable, except of course in the way of major holidays like Thanksgiving and Black Friday, the 4th, as you said. Also as you said, she's not salaried. She shouldn't be paid for not working. I too would suggest finding someone more reasonable.

[Gan]

Hot College Student Nannies.


I think we're onto something here.

[AnticorRifling]

Sorry boss, I was just responding to the remarks directed at me.

Refer to post number 2 in this thread. You're being a toolbox.

[Sam]

Refer to post number 2 in this thread. You're being a toolbox.

It seemed like a reasonable question to me.

edit: Further comments directed my way will be ignored. Sorry about the partial derailment.

[AnticorRifling]

It seemed like a reasonable question to me.

edit: Further comments directed my way will be ignored. Sorry about the partial derailment.

Of course something retarded seems reasonable when you're being retarded.

[Rinualdo]

Good luck Keller. Hope she works out for you.

[Methais]

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3214/3728349241_f106504039.jpg

[Methais]

I dropped mine off but then again the husband was riding into work with me so I was picking him up there anyway.


Anticor has a husband!

http://www.jaunted.com/files/admin/gay_buenos_aires.jpg<---Anticor

[Tgo01]

Uh ok. Quite often both the man and the woman in a relationship are accompanied by their very own full functioning brains. When this is the case it is necessary for these human beings to break the traditional/accepted and close-minded ideas of the "family unit"

Did you mean for this to sound as condescending as it does?

[AnticorRifling]

Anticor has a husband!

http://www.jaunted.com/files/admin/gay_buenos_aires.jpg<---Anticor

I don't play slam pig with dudes, I have a beard, shorter hair, bigger shoulders, and I'm fatter. He also looks taller than me. YOU FAIL SIR!

[Methais]

I don't play slam pig with dudes, I have a beard, shorter hair, bigger shoulders, and I'm fatter. He also looks taller than me. YOU FAIL SIR!

Number of times Anticor denied having a husband in quoted post = 0

http://i564.photobucket.com/albums/ss87/Bids99/you_lose.gif

[AnticorRifling]

I said I don't play slam pig with dudes....it's not my fault you can't read!

[Latrinsorm]

Did you mean for this to sound as condescending as it does?You mess with moderno-feminazi Robin, you get the... beak? I guess? SOMETHING POINTY. And not in the arousing/terrifying way.

[Paradii]

I said I don't play slam pig with dudes....it's not my fault you can't read!

Personally, I took that comment to mean that you preferred to be on the receiving end.

[4a6c1]

You mess with moderno-feminazi Robin, you get the... beak? I guess? SOMETHING POINTY. And not in the arousing/terrifying way.

I do not deny that my points are pointy despite my best efforts towards a spherical existence. Oy vey. Life is struggle.


I forgot to mention a few things before. I gave our nanny 3 weeks severance pay per a 1 year contract. It seemed a matter of decency and I think helped to foster an atmosphere of cooperation and stability. Also whoever commented about a WRITTEN contract is 100% correct. I forgot to do this at first and as good as our nanny was, days off were a bit of an issue until everything was down on paper.

[4a6c1]

Also I would like to know more about this interesting creature we know only as The Anticor Husband.

[Paradii]

Also I would like to know more about this interesting creature we know only as The Anticor Husband.

Well, this came up in the top ten with a google image search.

I assume its the one in the middle.


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_TI8-ZkHglfE/TJc9z_l23uI/AAAAAAAAAVE/pJvjmSCsBT8/s1600/cricketers_gayspy_2.jpg

[diethx]

The one on the left. Anticor likes his husbands with a bit of chest hair. Good for nuzzling.

[Delias]

The one on the left. Anticor likes his husbands with a bit of chest hair. Good for nuzzling.

I try to keep an open mind about people and their lifestyle choices, but I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

[4a6c1]

ahahahaha!

[diethx]

It could be worse, it could be like a sweater.

[4a6c1]

man furrr

Can be overlooked if not used in conjunction with tinypenis and/or girlyvoice.

[diethx]

man furrr

Can be overlooked if not used in conjunction with tinypenis and/or girlyvoice.

I totally agree - it's was never a deal-breaker for me. Admittedly though i've only ever been with one sweaterchest.

[Kuyuk]

I'm so glad I have a bare chest... by natural selection I guess. Nothing grows in tundra.

[Delias]

I wouldn't go so far as to say I have a built in sweater, but you could probably weave it into a light jacket, I guess? The way it spreads across my chest reminds me of the shape of an eagle... my chest hair is patriotic.

[Parkbandit]

It could be worse, it could be like a sweater.

http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn47/70GMan/the-hairiest-man.jpg

[Asile]

Getting back onto a serious note for this thread... Even for the DC area, some of those demands seem a bit unreasonable, especially for a non-salaried employee.

I know I wouldn't pay my childcare provider for sick time taken on THEIR end, because that generally comes up unexpectedly and puts the paying family into a tailspin as they look for other arrangements or have to take time off on their end.

Paying for the week between Christmas and New Year's, if you generally take that time off, doesn't sound so unreasonable. I'm not so sure about paying for any other time off until after the 1st year of service.

If you've got to work most of those federal holidays, then no, she can't get those days off with pay. She needs to clearly understand that while most people around you work for the federal government, you and your wife do NOT...so if she wants those days off with pay, she needs to find a family who works for the federal government and won't need her service on that day.

My experience is with Richmond--by way of my friend who works as a nanny--so I really can't say much else other than these may be the start of her bargaining: like with any job, she may be asking for more than she expects in the hope of getting what she really DOES expect and want.

Yes, using family or close friends is definitely preferable (well, depending on the family and friends; we'd actually only consider ONE of our friends to watch our kids for us, despite other friends and family being close enough to do it consistently) if one of the parents can't stay home or even doesn't have the DESIRE to stay home. Fortunately for my husband and me, in a way, we'll most likely be in the position for a long time that the 2nd salary would cover the cost of outside childcare, and not much else, so it's just better financial sense for one of us to stay home (and do preschool teaching the way we want and think is best for our children based on their development and learning through infancy and toddlerhood).

Good luck with your search there!

[Kuyuk]

My ex wife is/was a nanny, not in the DC area - but essentially, it was an hourly position with no benefits.

No paid time off, no paid holidays, etc. You get paid for what you work. That's it.

Looking at it, I shoulda made the move to DC years ago so she coulda gotten a tits nanny job and actually contributed to the family.