Your kids aren't AWESOME, and this is why

[Paradii]

I kid, I kid, but I am sure they smell and cry a lot.

[radamanthys]

I really can't bring myself to give a crap about people's kids. No offense to anybody, I just can't do it.

[Kuyuk]

I dont think (most non-indian) kids smell.... unless they poop themselves?

As for crying a lot- usually it's over pretty funny/silly things. And it can be some of the best times.

Like my kid being super excited to have multi-colored cheerios for breakfast last summer, and while walking to the commissary of my work, he was goofing around with the box and spilled about 1 cup of them out of the whole box, and started balling because he wasted his breakfast... Was pretty great.

[4a6c1]

My baby smells like lavender because that is what goes in her bath. Except when she poops but I think everyone has stinky poop. At least I hope everyone has stinky poop. Otherwise I just outed my family line as the only stinky poopers there evar were.

[4a6c1]

Oh cool zombie barbie wants to smell my kid. But I think I have to call my parents and tell them about our poop now.

[Deathravin]

http://www.fohguild.org/forums/attachments/screenshots/154362d1287616324-animated-gif-thread-tzobj.gif

[NocturnalRob]

That gif creeps me right the fuck out.

[Abilene]

It doesn't offend me that you don't give a crap, someone in the other thread pointed out, you can't understand the awesomeness until you have a kid. And I am not saying I care about anyone elses kid, because frankly I don't care about many other people's kids.. or kids in general.
But mine is awesome, and if you don't believe me... That's ok!

[Paradii]

Uh this thread is here because all your kids are annoying. Take your pro kid shit to the other thread.

[Lolleia]

Uh this thread is here because all your kids are annoying. Take your pro kid shit to the other thread.

I'm bringing my loud, stinky kids to your thread. To poop on it.

[Abilene]

Uh this thread is here because all your kids are annoying. Take your pro kid shit to the other thread.

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/2008/02/08-15/kid-crying.jpg

[Makkah]

You don't care about anyone else's kid, but you post all this fucking retarded shit about your own kid because you think anyone else cares? Attention whore?

Also... lavender smells like fucking ass. Sandalwood is exponentially better.

[Paradii]

You don't care about anyone else's kid, but you post all this fucking retarded shit about your own kid because you think anyone else cares? Attention whore?

Also... lavender smells like fucking ass. Sandalwood is exponentially better.

Didn't realize I was forcing you to read this.


Pussy

[Paradii]

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/2008/02/08-15/kid-crying.jpg

See, that's why kids suck.

[Makkah]

Didn't realize I was forcing you to read this.


Pussy

Not talking to you, dipshit. Learn to fucking read.

[Makkah]

It doesn't offend me that you don't give a crap, someone in the other thread pointed out, you can't understand the awesomeness until you have a kid. And I am not saying I care about anyone elses kid, because frankly I don't care about many other people's kids.. or kids in general.
But mine is awesome, and if you don't believe me... That's ok!

You don't care about anyone else's kid, but you post all this fucking retarded shit about your own kid because you think anyone else cares? Attention whore?



Is that better, Paradii?

I was agreeing with you.

Pussy motherfucker.

[Gnome Rage]

No parent really cares about anyone elses' kids. Sure they might aww at the story but they just care about theirs. And that's why parent's rock. They love us no matter what and want to share how awesome we are with other parents that don't care but listen, because they want their friends to listen to THEIR stupid kid stories.

[4a6c1]

Ahahaha! Pointed mantantrums > pointless kidtantrums? I dont think so.
Why? More work involved in ignoring them.
Mantrums have words that must be listened to and/or
!read! and considered as valid points (supposedly.)

LAVENDER > SANDALWOOD??...DO YOU LIVE INSIDE A CURRY PLANT WHO ARE YOU HOLY PROPHET GO EAT SOME LAMB

[diethx]

Ahahaha! Pointed mantantrums > pointless kidtantrums? I dont think so.
Why? More work involved in ignoring them.
Mantrums have words that must be listened to and/or
!read! and considered as valid points (supposedly.)

LAVENDER > SANDALWOOD??...DO YOU LIVE INSIDE A CURRY PLANT WHO ARE YOU HOLY PROPHET GO EAT SOME LAMB

Sandalwood DOES smell better than lavender. My grandma smells like lavender. lol YOUR BABY SMELLS LIKE MY GRANDMA!!!!

[Paradii]

You don't care about anyone else's kid, but you post all this fucking retarded shit about your own kid because you think anyone else cares? Attention whore?



Is that better, Paradii?

I was agreeing with you.

Pussy motherfucker.

yes, Lrn2Quote.

Pussy

[Paradii]

So not true. If this were true there would be no elementary school teachers, preschool teachers, NICU nurses, pediatricians... the list goes on. A lot of people care about other people's kids. And yes, a pediatrician may be making a lot of money to care about other people's kids, but the teachers surely are not.

If can, can
If can't, teach.

[Gnome Rage]

So not true. If this were true there would be no elementary school teachers, preschool teachers, NICU nurses, pediatricians... the list goes on. A lot of people care about other people's kids. And yes, a pediatrician may be making a lot of money to care about other people's kids, but the teachers surely are not.

I should have clarified. I don't mean teachers and nurses and such. I mean just plain old parents. And I'm sure I'm not right about it 100% of the time. But generally I don't think parents of other children care about the smallest details about someone elses child. Obviously, if they're sick or something is exceptionally interesting that's different. But the general small things aren't something I think most parent's really want to hear about.

But I'm not a parent so I could be extremely far off base--but that's what I've noticed.

[4a6c1]

I dunno. I think it's cool when I hear about other kids doing the same dumb kid stuff that mine does.

[Kuyuk]

It's not dumb! It's usually awesome and cute!

[Lolleia]

I dunno. I think it's cool when I hear about other kids doing the same dumb kid stuff that mine does.
Or better yet, when other people's kids do stuff that's dumber than the dumb stuff my kids do.

[Delias]

In my experience, all of the things your parents said "You won't understand until you have your own kids", was true. You just really DON'T understand. Even if you have an intellectual grasp of it, you don't understand it on a visceral level. As a lesser example, my hands currently reek of desitin and I believe my son just took the biggest shit of his life, which I had to clean up. My feelings on it? I'm happy he pooped.

[Lolleia]

Yup, the pooping is so much better than dealing with them not pooping... That's just ugh.

[Delias]

Yup, the pooping is so much better than dealing with them not pooping... That's just ugh.

Poor kid was constipated for like two days, I don't even want to know how much prune juice when into this poop.

[Paradii]

I guess I should have named this thread "your kids aren't awesome, and neither are you"

[Delias]

I guess I should have named this thread "your kids aren't awesome, and neither are you"

Or maybe you should stop being so upset that your pencil isn't packing enough lead to get the job done?

[Abilene]

Or maybe you should stop being so upset that your pencil isn't packing enough lead to get the job done?

:yes:

Such hostility.

[Delias]

:yes:

Such hostility.

That's generally what I feel most of the time, yes.

[iJin]

Paradii migrates too much to procreate, but he sure is damn sexy.

[pabstblueribbon]

I guess I should have named this thread "your kids aren't awesome, and neither are you"

Pretty sure Maddox has already done this.



I am better than your kids.

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/crapart2_4.jpg

Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit.

F

[RSR]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcnXpOygKGI

Louis CK on kids. Ridiculously accurate.

-Richard.

[diethx]

Paradii migrates too much to procreate, but he sure is damn sexy.

Stop doing so much drugs.

[iJin]

When he had his long hair he was sexy! Which was a couple of years ago, but eh. Sorry, I have major long hair boners. You understand.





You better. !!

[diethx]

I like long hair too, when it isn't dirty and greasy.

[Delias]

When he had his long hair he was sexy! Which was a couple of years ago, but eh. Sorry, I have major long hair boners. You understand.





You better. !!

I used to have a mullet. It counts, but only from behind.

I'd like to thank all of my friends and relatives for letting me wear such a ridiculous hairstyle without ever pointing out how stupid I looked, or that it was essentially the easiest way for a white person to be included in a stereotype.

[diethx]

No one should HAVE to tell anyone else that a mullet is a poor decision, sir.

[Delias]

No one should HAVE to tell anyone else that a mullet is a poor decision, sir.

It was my own fault for wanting my hair out of my eyes and not caring about the rest.

Edit: It was also blue at one point. Yes, the legend is true.

[4a6c1]

Holy crap. No really. If he could he would say holy crap.

[iJin]

Ew.

[diethx]

Uh oh, I think you just made Jin's pp go da-doing-doing-doing.

[RichardCranium]

I want my hair long again but I can only go for two weeks before saying fuck this and shaving it again.

[AnticorRifling]

I don't understand this thread.

[Delias]

I don't understand this thread.

He's trying to do that thing, where I take a thread and make a new thread to mock it, but I am just better at it. I vowed not to create any new threads for the rest of october... but I cheated just a little bit and posted one in sports. I shall not create another new thread until november.

[Cephalopod]

I don't understand this thread.


He's trying to do that thing, where I take a thread and make a new thread to mock it, but I am just better at it. I vowed not to create any new threads for the rest of october... but I cheated just a little bit and posted one in sports. I shall not create another new thread until november.

I assumed Anticor was saying he didn't understand this thread because he knows his kids are, by any measure, awesome. So this thread is dildos.

[iJin]

I love how the phrase, "This thread is dildos," is being used more often. It makes any sucky thread turn into a metal thread. This thread is now metal.

[Delias]

I love how the phrase, "This thread is dildos," is being used more often. It makes any sucky thread turn into a metal thread. This thread is now metal.

I am thrashing so violently now I think it may ACTUALLY be a seizure.

[4a6c1]

METAL CHILDREN ROBOTS?!

[Paradii]

I like long hair too, when it isn't dirty and greasy.

I am a PhD student now, so I have to take regular showers.....

[4a6c1]

PhD for what? Please dont say Eugenics.

[Paradii]

PhD for what? Please dont say Eugenics.

Ecology, evolution, and conservation biology.


Basically, I study wildlife population dynamics.

[4a6c1]

....

WAY COOL.

But how can you study biology and not be okay with babies? They are like....everywhere.

[4a6c1]

And as an evolutionist you can definately understand the need for some human beings to reproduce. Ones that SHOULD produce.

[Paradii]

....

WAY COOL.

But how can you study biology and not be okay with babies? They are like....everywhere.

Human babies are way to altricial for my liking and super ugly.

For example,

Pintail ducklings are cute
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b298/dnonne/P1020889.jpg

Brant goslings are also cute, and smell very nice
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b298/dnonne/P1020822.jpg

Human babies,

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs304.snc3/28794_999797081608_13705557_53831225_3361126_n.jpg


Disgusting, and I can guarantee, that thing smells.

[4a6c1]

Ok baby ducks fucking stink like decayed fecal matter. No matter how many blue dawn baths they get.

signed

someone who has to fish them out of pools for no money in this area code at all hours when the beeper beeps.

[diethx]

I am a PhD student now, so I have to take regular showers.....

That's good to hear.

[Paradii]

Ok baby ducks fucking stink like decayed fecal matter. No matter how many blue dawn baths they get.

signed

someone who has to fish them out of pools for no money in this area code at all hours when the beeper beeps.



If you smelled ducklings while they are still on their breeding grounds, you'd be singing a different tune. They smell fluffy.

[Paradii]

And as an evolutionist you can definately understand the need for some human beings to reproduce. Ones that SHOULD produce.


Sure, just not people that have played gemstone at any point in their lives.

[4a6c1]

rofl. so wrong.

[Paradii]

Your kids aren't... 10-22-2010 01:06 AM Grow the fuck up. You should take daily showers because it's good hygeine, not because you finally are doing something with your life besides being the lazy motherfucker that you are.





Haha, the lack of of showering in my adult life was due to working at remote field camps with no running water. Drinking snowmelt for 5 months or having to haul in drums of water, ect ect. I do find the lazy comment hilarious though. Only a select few here, most likely in the military peeps, could handle these jobs. Seriously.

Showering has been limited, but trust me, I took every reasonable opportunity to clean myself.

So eat a fucking cock :)

[Delias]

Your kids aren't... 10-22-2010 01:06 AM Grow the fuck up. You should take daily showers because it's good hygeine, not because you finally are doing something with your life besides being the lazy motherfucker that you are.





Haha, the lack of of showering in my adult life was due to working at remote field camps with no running water. Drinking snowmelt for 5 months or having to haul in drums of water, ect ect. I do find the lazy comment hilarious though. Only a select few here, most likely in the military peeps, could handle these jobs. Seriously.

Showering has been limited, but trust me, I took every reasonable opportunity to clean myself.

So eat a fucking cock :)


I'm sure you are amazingly tough and only professional military could keep up with you. For the record, I am highly efficient in most tasks... the reason: I'm lazy. That might not seem to make sense but I realized many years ago that the better I performed a task, the more free time I would have to just sort of lay around and read or jerk off or whatever. If hauling water is the hardest thing you have to deal with, I consider that good fortune.

[Paradii]

I'm sure you are amazingly tough and only professional military could keep up with you. For the record, I am highly efficient in most tasks... the reason: I'm lazy. That might not seem to make sense but I realized many years ago that the better I performed a task, the more free time I would have to just sort of lay around and read or jerk off or whatever. If hauling water is the hardest thing you have to deal with, I consider that good fortune.

the hauling water is was to explain the lack of showering, Einstein. I see you are highly efficient at comprehension.


Now back to why kids suck.

Delias is a lazy fat fuck and has kids, thereby kids stink. That logic is infallible.

[Delias]

the hauling water is was to explain the lack of showering, Einstein. I see you are highly efficient at comprehension.


Now back to why kids suck.

Delias is a lazy fat fuck and has kids, thereby kids stink. That logic is infallible.

You can try to explain all you like, but it is you who stinks, by your own admission, due to a lack of showers. Don't worry, just smear your cock with patchouli oil, I'm sure that'll get you through the week.

Edit: I also feel obligated to point out that calling me things I call myself really fails as an insult.

[Kyra231]

Ok baby ducks fucking stink like decayed fecal matter. No matter how many blue dawn baths they get.

signed

someone who has to fish them out of pools for no money in this area code at all hours when the beeper beeps.

:yeahthat:

signed

a retired wildlife rehabber.

[SuckerFish]

Why all the arguing about the small children? You were all snot nosed little kids yourself at one time.

I think you guys could use some therapeutic gaming over at http://www.wizards.com/Magic/digital/MagicOnline.aspx

[RichardCranium]

Why all the arguing about the small children? You were all snot nosed little kids yourself at one time.

I think you guys could use some therapeutic gaming over at http://www.wizards.com/Magic/digital/MagicOnline.aspx

What is this game? Can you tell me more about it?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Why all the arguing about the small children? You were all snot nosed little kids yourself at one time.

I think you guys could use some therapeutic gaming over at http://www.wizards.com/Magic/digital/MagicOnline.aspx

Can someone ban this dipshit already?

[4a6c1]

I cant wait till Nikki has kids. I know Nikki would be a kickass mom. She has like...10 senses of humors.

[diethx]

Your kids aren't... 10-22-2010 01:06 AM Grow the fuck up. You should take daily showers because it's good hygeine, not because you finally are doing something with your life besides being the lazy motherfucker that you are.





Haha, the lack of of showering in my adult life was due to working at remote field camps with no running water. Drinking snowmelt for 5 months or having to haul in drums of water, ect ect. I do find the lazy comment hilarious though. Only a select few here, most likely in the military peeps, could handle these jobs. Seriously.

Showering has been limited, but trust me, I took every reasonable opportunity to clean myself.

So eat a fucking cock :)

Completely aside from your repper (wasn't me), I was talking about long before you were off in Alaska studying wildlife or whatever. You know, about when you were a bum with no place to live by choice and just crashing at friends' places. Pretty sure we'd had conversations about how you were dirty and gross because you didn't have a regular place to shower.

[Sean of the Thread]

I cant wait till Nikki has kids. I know Nikki would be a kickass mom. She has like...10 senses of humors.


One for each person that lives inside her head :P

<3

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

One for each person that lives inside her head :P

<3

It's crowded in here!

Wait, who said that?