Prostitution

[Tisket]

Have you ever paid for sex with a stranger? I invite you to tell your story of sexual escapades with strangers here in this confidential, safe environment.

We don't judge!

[g++]

Somehow Im kind of expecting this to go from an amusing Tisket thread straight into an epic SoTT thread within 24 hours.

[pabstblueribbon]

I like that you posted this in the relationships folder.

[BriarFox]

If the man pays for everything and gives the woman an allowance, but she's not technically a hooker, is it still prostitution, or just the typical pattern of relationships for the last 10,000 years?

[Tisket]

Were you afraid of being arrested? If so, count it as prostitution.

[4a6c1]

:spaz:

I love you Tisket.

[Drunken Durfin]

After my divorce, my attorney and her sister took me to Amsterdam for a week.

I'm told that I had a wonderful time...I only remember bits and pieces.

[Tisket]

After my divorce, my attorney and her sister took me to Amsterdam for a week.

I'm told that I had a wonderful time...I only remember bits and pieces.

I know you well enough to know that there is more to the story than you are sharing. Tell us!

[BriarFox]

The closest I've come was to be propositioned by a very scary, large black woman overflowing her red vinyl corset and bursting out of her fishnet stockings and pleather heels in a dark corner of Boston.

[Kuyuk]

Speaking of which, I got my divorce papers finalized like two days ago.

I'M SINGLE LADIES!

[Drunken Durfin]

Boy meets girl in hot tub in St. Thomas.

Boy goes back to D.C. and breaks up with attorney he was dating.

Boy marries girl from hot tub.

Girl turns out to be total fucking nut job after about a year and a half.

Boy calls attorney he used to date, she represents me in divorce on Feb. 14th (double kharma?)

Attorney and her sister take boy to Amsterdam the following day.

Much weed enters the equation.

Things that I remember:


"Japanese! I have not been down the Japanese alley yet!"

Gorgeous little French girl with dark hair and blue eyes.

"For a little extra I can have the girl in the booth next door join us."

"It is a $40 fine for smoking that outside the coffee house."
Me, "Someone find me a cop, I need to frame that ticket."

[Live Sex Show]
"What the hell? I can do that. I thought there were going to be 'professionals' trick fucking here."

Me, "I want the strongest weed you have."
Clerk, "Here is the menu"
Me, "No, I want the stuff that is not on the menu."
Clerk, "You sure?"
Me, "Yes."
[Darkness] . . . [two days later]
Me, "WTF are we?"
Attorney, "Paris."


Said attorney eventually introduced me to my current wife at the bar where I signed my divorce papers...that was a little over 7 years ago.

[Tisket]

lmao DD

[Fallen]

Boy meets girl in hot tub in St. Thomas.

Boy goes back to D.C. and breaks up with attorney he was dating.

Boy marries girl from hot tub.

Girl turns out to be total fucking nut job after about a year and a half.

Boy calls attorney he used to date, she represents me in divorce on Feb. 14th (double kharma?)

Attorney and her sister take boy to Amsterdam the following day.

Much weed enters the equation.

Things that I remember:


"Japanese! I have not been down the Japanese alley yet!"



Gorgeous little French girl with dark hair and blue eyes.



"For a little extra I can have the girl in the girl in the booth next door join us."



"It is a $40 fine for smoking that outside the coffee house."


Me, "Someone find me a cop, I need to frame that ticket."



[Live Sex Show]


"What the hell? I can do that. I thought there were going to be 'professionals' trick fucking here."



Me, "I want the strongest weed you have."


Clerk, "Here is the menu"


Me, "No, I want the stuff that is not on the menu."


Clerk, "You sure?"


Me, "Yes."


[Darkness] . . . [two days later]


Me, "WTF are we?"


Attorney, "Paris."

Said attorney eventually introduced me to my current wife at the bar where I signed my divorce papers...that was a little over 7 years ago.

JESUS. CHRIST.

[pabstblueribbon]

What? Didn't seem that out of the ordinary to me. The only thing that did was the attorney AND the sister.

[Tisket]

[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "Awesome thread Tisket"
[Command]-You: "Im surprised at the lack of "yes" responses on the PC, DD"
[Command]-You: "we havent heard from everyone yet but still"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "people are chicken shit"
[Command]-You: "yeah, I shouldnt have made it a public poll"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "or embarrased"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "nope, keep it real...hehhh"
[Command]-You: "mostly I wanted the stories though"
[Command]-You: "youre the closest that came to telling one though lol"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "I have flashes of window shopping in Amsterdam"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "and I remember sitting in one of the coffee houses rolling a joint and saying something like "Japanese, I have not gone down the Japanese alley yet!""
[Command]-You: "the Japanese have their own alley, awesome"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "if someone presses I'll tell the whole story. It is quite the saga."
[Command]-You: "brb, pressing you in the thread!"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "divorce was on Feb. 14th...attorney was the girl I broke up with to marry that nut"
[Command]-You: "okay I posted to pressure you in the thread"
[Command]-You: "get set, go!"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "hahhah"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "I was propositioned once in Singapore"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: ""me go with you?""
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "it was whilst I was entering my hotel room, and she was leaving the room beside mine."
[Command]-You: "what, sloppy seconds wasnt your cuppa tea?"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "my first thought was... hrm, did you shower at least?"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "my second thought was, I'm glad I don't have any singapore dollars on me."
[Command]-You: "lol they dont take american dollars?"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "how the heck would I know?"
[Command]-You: "lol Cas"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "you trying to trick me"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "I've never even been to a strip club."
[Command]-You: "I only admit to that if it works"
[Command]-You: "holy cow, even I have been to a strip club"
[Command]-You: "and I even put a five in one strippers g string on a dare"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "I just never saw the point in it. Not like you can take anything home with you. Or at least, I'm cognicant of my skills to accomplish that"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "apparently I'm more the hooker 2nd trick target type"
[Command]-You: "well if it makes you feel better, if I were a prostitute, youd be a first string trick"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "my friends want to take me to a sleazy strip club here in atlanta, where apparently there's aged strippers, and strippers with one boob and things"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "see... my reputation preceeds me"
[Command]-You: "you man you totally should go and take cell pics for us!"
[Command]-You: "you can post them in the thread and call it research"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "just saw the strippers comment"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "I was in a strip club in Lincoln Nebraska...gril there was a burn victim"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "girl there was..."
[Command]-You: "burn scars?"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "great dancer, just 50% of her torso was science fiction"
[Command]-GSF:Ifor: "I gave her a big tip for the confidence factor"
[Command]-GSF:Casis: "ifor... ising rocks"
[Command]-You: "there are probably people who dig scars, like there are people who dig amputees, etc."

[g++]

Does your attorney happen to be somoan?

[Drunken Durfin]

Does your attorney happen to be somoan?

Nope. White chick from CA. She lives in Maryland last I checked.

[g++]

Was joking about the obvious similarities between your real life experience and Fear and Loathing

[Drunken Durfin]

Was joking about the obvious similarities between your real life experience and Fear and Loathing

Ah, that whooshed me...never saw it.

[4a6c1]

Please tell the whole story. I sense layers of buried awesome.

[Sean]

Are you considering an alternate revenue stream Tisket? If so PM me your address please.

[4a6c1]

WTB: a heated tisket

[Lolleia]

I've been planning a trip to Amsterdam and now thanks to Durfin, I wanna go down the Japanese alley!

[g++]

Ah, that whooshed me...never saw it.

Damn man thats a must see imo. Netflix it or something.

[BriarFox]

Some friends and I walked by the Moulin Rouge in Paris and saw the "Sexodrome," but we didn't get close enough to do more than that. I need to go to Paris again, I think.

[Drunken Durfin]

Please tell the whole story. I sense layers of buried awesome.

Now that I am reflecting on that whole time period, there was some really epic hilarity going on.

Jennifer and her sister bought more wine than was allowed to take back through customs. So they bought some enormous dildos and put them in the suitcases with the wine. When the poor little boy opened their bags to inspect them he turned 15 shades of red, zipped them back up and sent them on their way with no questions.

I might just have to sit down and write the whole story.

[Kuyuk]

I'm sure thats the reason they bought huge dildos.............

[Lolleia]

Mmm... wine and dildos.

[Tisket]

Are you considering an alternate revenue stream Tisket?

I could never be a hooker. I'd start out by dousing a strange john with Purells, asking for his entire sexual history (with references), and taking his picture and fingerprints. Not exactly behavior conducive to encouraging an erection.

[4a6c1]

You could just take his picture and fingerprints sexily.

[g++]

How is that different from a date? You wont also ask me how much I make and subject me to meeting your dumb friends?

[Miscast]

Things that I remember:

"Japanese! I have not been down the Japanese alley yet!"


Hold up, there's a Japanese alley in Amsterdam?

[Stretch]

I could never be a hooker. I'd start out by dousing a strange john with Purells, asking for his entire sexual history (with references), and taking his picture and fingerprints. Not exactly behavior conducive to encouraging an erection.

I've got a solution to that.

Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"

[NocturnalRob]

Let's be honest: Any time you take a girl on a date, it's prostitution. You're paying for something either way. Fact.

[Delias]

Durfin, you are now my hero. I don't say this lightly, as my last hero was he-man, and I was but a boy. Now I am a man, and a man needs a man sized hero, and you are he.

[radamanthys]

How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her.

[Drunken Durfin]

Hold up, there's a Japanese alley in Amsterdam?

This was back in 2002. I have no current knowledge of the landscape. We had a "local guide" that was actually an American who went to high school with Jennifer. He was there working on some degree.

[Delias]

This was back in 2002. I have no current knowledge of the landscape. We had a "local guide" that was actually an American who went to high school with Jennifer. He was there working on some degree.

I assume botany, or a doctorate in pimpology.

[Drunken Durfin]

Durfin, you are now my hero. I don't say this lightly, as my last hero was he-man, and I was but a boy. Now I am a man, and a man needs a man sized hero, and you are he.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Delias again.

[Makkah]

Might be the most disappointing thread I've ever read.

[4a6c1]

Might be the most disappointing thread I've ever read.

Garbage?

MAKKAH DECLARES THIS THEAD GARBAGE IT MUST BE THE BEST EVER





(hahahoohooheehee)

[Nieninque]

Where is the option for I am a prostitute?

[Nieninque]

I've got a solution to that.

Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"

Talk like a pirate day sucked this year. They should never have it on a sunday ever again.

[Liagala]

Let's be honest: Any time you take a girl on a date, it's prostitution. You're paying for something either way. Fact.
This annoys me. I try to pay half on the first date, but if he insists, I shut up because that's what I'm supposed to do. Thereafter, we alternate. I pay on the 2nd date, etc. Does that mean I should pick yes on the poll options, since I've paid for dinner and then brought him home?



[Command]-You: "and I even put a five in one strippers g string on a dare"
At one point, I lived with two strippers. They did shows together (yes, very "together"), but the normal one and I kicked the skanky one out after a couple months because she was doing a lot of drugs, and somehow the two of them would go work at the same party, but girl A came home with $1k, and girl B came home with $5k. The one making less money was better looking, too.

[NocturnalRob]

This annoys me. I try to pay half on the first date, but if he insists, I shut up because that's what I'm supposed to do. Thereafter, we alternate. I pay on the 2nd date, etc. Does that mean I should pick yes on the poll options, since I've paid for dinner and then brought him home?
Only if he buys you tampons. Then you owe him.

[radamanthys]

What do computer repair housecalls count as?

[sfogarty]

I could never be a hooker. I'd start out by dousing a strange john with Purells, asking for his entire sexual history (with references), and taking his picture and fingerprints. Not exactly behavior conducive to encouraging an erection.

Purell doesn't do anything. Just gets the bacteria drunk. Use technicare.

[Tisket]

Purell doesn't do anything. Just gets the bacteria drunk. Use technicare.

lol

[sfogarty]

lol

Soap and water is more effective then Purell. Hell, spitting and rubbing with your thumb is probably more effective than Purell.

[NocturnalRob]

spitting and rubbing with your thumb is probably more effective than Purell.
Plus, it feels better on my junk.

[sfogarty]

Plus, it feels better on my junk.

No, officer, I'm not paying her for a blowjob. I'm just getting disinfected.

[Tisket]

Soap and water is more effective then Purell. Hell, spitting and rubbing with your thumb is probably more effective than Purell.

http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w66/Sassy_Photos_2007/BOYImage3.jpg

And uh where do I buy technicare?

[Drisco]

I once paid for prostitution in Grand Theft Auto. But then I ran the bitch over with my car and took the cash back. That's about as far as I have come to paying for sex. :shrug:

[Eoghain]

The closest I've come was to be propositioned by a very scary, large black woman overflowing her red vinyl corset and bursting out of her fishnet stockings and pleather heels in a dark corner of Boston.

OMG I think i ran into that same hooker in Chinatown in Boston in like 2002! she was laying on the hood of a car, which she dwarfed, and her creepy little pimp was telling me how much woman I could have while stopped at a red light. It was one of my best memories.

[Eoghain]

Hold up, there's a Japanese alley in Amsterdam?

Every fucking alley in the red light district in Amsterdam is Japanese. That place is mobbed by Japanaese business men. I've seen hookers fighting to keep their doors closed against the onslaught, and the fear in their eyes when they realize they're being bumrushed by 2 dozen guys in suits, even though the hookers are a foot taller.

[BriarFox]

OMG I think i ran into that same hooker in Chinatown in Boston in like 2002! she was laying on the hood of a car, which she dwarfed, and her creepy little pimp was telling me how much woman I could have while stopped at a red light. It was one of my best memories.

Oddly, this was right about 2002 and in Chinatown, too ...

[Kuyuk]

I guess hookers do not like bukkake!

[Delias]

I guess hookers do not like bukkake!

They only say they don't like it, but it's a lie. They just know they have to play hard to get or the price goes down.

[NocturnalRob]

They just know they have to play hard to get or the price goes down.
"The price?" That's a weird thing to call your dick.

[Sean]

I could never be a hooker. I'd start out by dousing a strange john with Purells, asking for his entire sexual history (with references), and taking his picture and fingerprints. Not exactly behavior conducive to encouraging an erection.

I have faith in your and your vagina's ability to get over this. Mostly in your vagina though.

[Latrinsorm]

Let's be honest: Any time you take a girl on a date, it's prostitution. You're paying for something either way.I am prepared to argue about this for weeks on end!
Fact....I concede to your superior position.

[Delias]

You know, we need an option for "Willing to under proper circumstances".

[radamanthys]

You know, we need an option for "Willing to under proper circumstances".

Everyone has a price.

[Tolwynn]

http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss230/fissionhouse/doctordetroit.jpg

All for sale! All for sale!

[Tisket]

I'm disappointed that Sean of the Thread hasn't contributed to this thread.

[Celephais]

The closest I've come was to be propositioned by a very scary, large black woman overflowing her red vinyl corset and bursting out of her fishnet stockings and pleather heels in a dark corner of Boston.
Where in Boston exactly?

I could never be a hooker. I'd start out by dousing a strange john with Purells, asking for his entire sexual history (with references), and taking his picture and fingerprints. Not exactly behavior conducive to encouraging an erection.
Say that again... slowly.

This annoys me. I try to pay half on the first date, but if he insists, I shut up because that's what I'm supposed to do. Thereafter, we alternate. I pay on the 2nd date, etc. Does that mean I should pick yes on the poll options, since I've paid for dinner and then brought him home?



At one point, I lived with two strippers. They did shows together (yes, very "together"), but the normal one and I kicked the skanky one out after a couple months because she was doing a lot of drugs, and somehow the two of them would go work at the same party, but girl A came home with $1k, and girl B came home with $5k. The one making less money was better looking, too.
So... what's she up to now?

[Lolleia]

He was on his way to pick up his hooker when he got dequartered.

[Tisket]

He was on his way to pick up his hooker when he got dequartered.

lol

[joehollywood]

If I put a handful of loose change, a few singles, and some pocket lint on my nightstand...

Rubbed one off...

Felt dirty afterwards...

Then used the money to buy something nice for myself the next morning.

Does that count as prostitution?

[ShatteredCasis]

I guess it would depend on if you have to pay extra to switch hands.

[Stanley Burrell]

What do computer repair housecalls count as?

http://video.adultswim.com/aqua-teen-hunger-force/a-wonderful-chardonnay.html

[Drisco]

Lulz. I thought this thread was in the Gemstone Market folder.

[Gelston]

A prostitute is someone who'll love you no matter who you are
What you look like.

That's not why you pay a prostitute no you don't pay here to stay
But to leave afterwards.

That's why I pay a lot for prostitutes.

[Guister]

One time I got a handjob from a hooker for $300 in Vegas. What waste of fucking money.

[Gelston]

http://forum.gsplayers.com/images/reputation/reputation_pos.gif Prostitution (http://forum.gsplayers.com/showthread.php?p=1187466#post1187466) 10-21-2010 11:31 AM Dammit, boy, use some fucking commas. That shit's absurd. -- EF
I posted it from my phone and was too lazy :(

[Firestorm Killa]

Spain, 3 girls at once for 2 hours in a whore house. $600. Great times great times.

[Stanley Burrell]

A prostitute is someone who'll love you no matter who you are
What you look like.

That's not why you pay a prostitute no you don't pay here to stay
But to leave afterwards.

That's why I pay a lot for prostitutes.

...James Taylor, what the hell are you doing in here!? Singing about prostitutes? To the children!?