Request for PC Wit

[Keller]

Looong story short, I have a bitchy step-sister. Imagine that Rocktar had boobs. She is highly confrontational, thinks her shit don't stink, and generally lacks basic social graces. But I like her mom and her sister, and don't want to say/do anything that would piss them off or make them uncomfortable.

Most of my family lives in Indianapolis. Well, all of it except for my sister and me (and our families).

This Christmas, my sister and her family are flying into town for the Holidays. This is a big deal as they live on a tight budget and rarely come back to Indy. My dad and step-mom are planning a big family Christmas (we used to do these every year either on Christmas-eve or Christmas day when my sister and her family lived in Indy) for their combined 5 kids (5 kids, 4 spouses, 7 grandkids). Due to scheduling issues around Christmas, the gathering is planned for Monday the 27th.

So one day this week, within about 30 minutes of each other, the following items are published.

First, my step-sister posts the following on Facebook (of course we're all friends with each other): "All too pointed comment: Informing someone that they are bitter is not the best way to entice them to take a vacation day and spend it with people they do not enjoy. Lets see, would that be Honey or Vinegar?"

Next, her husband, who is actually a pretty cool guy I suspect was Hitler in a previous life to deserve being married to her, emails the following to the family: "I'm not sure if everyone gets the 27th off... I get Christmas Eve added on to the weekend but will check to see if I can take vacation on the 27th."

How should I respond? Right now I'm considering just "like"ing her status, but I would like to do something a little more confrontational that will make her mom and sister laugh. I've talked to both of them, and they both are pissed off at the bitch, but don't want to strain an already tense situation.

So, dear PC (Rob, Anticor?), I'm counting on you to come up with something that stings but is playful.

[Celephais]

Well you have to make some note of the fact she said "pointed comment". I would also suggest saying something along the lines of "The problem with using honey is that you attract bees, and bees don't consider the fact that maybe people don't enjoy having the bees around either".

[AnticorRifling]

We're only giving presents to the kids this year but acting childish might earn you a gift certificate for effort. See you on the 27th.

[Clove]

Sandy vag comments are always popular.

[Clove]

We're only giving presents to the kids this year but acting childish might earn you a gift certificate for effort. See you on the 27th.Win.

[Delias]

Looong story short, I have a bitchy step-sister. Imagine that Rocktar had boobs. She is highly confrontational, thinks her shit don't stink, and generally lacks basic social graces. But I like her mom and her sister, and don't want to say/do anything that would piss them off or make them uncomfortable.

Most of my family lives in Indianapolis. Well, all of it except for my sister and me (and our families).

This Christmas, my sister and her family are flying into town for the Holidays. This is a big deal as they live on a tight budget and rarely come back to Indy. My dad and step-mom are planning a big family Christmas (we used to do these every year either on Christmas-eve or Christmas day when my sister and her family lived in Indy) for their combined 5 kids (5 kids, 4 spouses, 7 grandkids). Due to scheduling issues around Christmas, the gathering is planned for Monday the 27th.

So one day this week, within about 30 minutes of each other, the following items are published.

First, my step-sister posts the following on Facebook (of course we're all friends with each other): "All too pointed comment: Informing someone that they are bitter is not the best way to entice them to take a vacation day and spend it with people they do not enjoy. Lets see, would that be Honey or Vinegar?"

Next, her husband, who is actually a pretty cool guy I suspect was Hitler in a previous life to deserve being married to her, emails the following to the family: "I'm not sure if everyone gets the 27th off... I get Christmas Eve added on to the weekend but will check to see if I can take vacation on the 27th."

How should I respond? Right now I'm considering just "like"ing her status, but I would like to do something a little more confrontational that will make her mom and sister laugh. I've talked to both of them, and they both are pissed off at the bitch, but don't want to strain an already tense situation.

So, dear PC (Rob, Anticor?), I'm counting on you to come up with something that stings but is playful.

I was hoping we could exchange presents early. I got you a nice big box full of shut the fuck up.

[AnticorRifling]

I was hoping we could exchange presents early. I got you a nice big box full of shut the fuck up.

1996 called they said there's been a recall on that due to it being played out.

[BriarFox]

All too blunt comment: Just because someone ate all the blueberry pie, it doesn't make them sweeter. We're having apple this year.

[Clove]

But traditionally the Christmas Drama Llama always arrived on the 27th...

[Cephalopod]

Link her here.

[Delias]

1996 called they said there's been a recall on that due to it being played out.

To me, 1996 is still the future, so I'm actually ahead of my time.

[AnticorRifling]

Fuck you and your ability to go 88mph!

[Delias]

Fuck you and your ability to go 88mph!

The time travel isn't the miracle, the miracle is that I got a geo metro up to 88 mph.

[AnticorRifling]

Honey or vinegar? Ok so XYZ has agreed to bring condiments. This has the start of a good pot luck dinner, I'll bring paper plates, what's everyone else bringing on the 27th?

[Delias]

Honey or vinegar? Ok so XYZ has agreed to bring condiments. This has the start of a good pot luck dinner, I'll bring paper plates, what's everyone else bringing on the 27th?

A double dose of turkey-slap.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

"Neither honey or vinegar. Maybe closer to ketchup? Actually never mind, people actually like ketchup."

[Ceyrin]

Snipey comments aside (of which there are many for such a situation), I would simply not respond at all. Letting people control you with childish behavior intended to generate defensive reactions is generally a poor place to operate from.

PS: Tell them you're jewish now, and you don't celebrate christmas anymore.

[AnticorRifling]

Snipey comments aside (of which there are many for such a situation), I would simply not respond at all. Letting people control you with childish behavior intended to generate defensive reactions is generally a poor place to operate from.

PS: Tell them you're jewish now, and you don't celebrate christmas anymore.

Psst it's fun to fuck with people. Especially when they are srs over dumb shit.

[Clove]

"Honey? Vinegar? Fuck that, I'll need bourbon if you're showing up."

[Ceyrin]

Psst it's fun to fuck with people. Especially when they are srs over dumb shit.

Stop tempting me! I'm trying to mend my ways and change my PC image.

[pabstblueribbon]

" All out of honey and vinegar. Let us know what attracts raging cunts and we'll try to accomodate you"

Ps I liked ars first one the best

[AnticorRifling]

Stop tempting me! I'm trying to mend my ways and change my PC image.

What image?

[pabstblueribbon]

Or if she's flying "before going through airport security, you might want to remove whatever is so far up your ass"

[Keller]

What people forget is that the honey attracts the flies first, and no one really likes flies.

Celephais obviously is the inspiration for this - I just wanted to try to refine it a little.

[peam]

[Annoying step-sister] be all up in my mug. But it's a different story when them muthafuckas coughing up blood

[AnticorRifling]

[Annoying step-sister] be all up in my mug. But it's a different story when them muthafuckas coughing up blood

Pulmonary edema is always applicable.

[Ceyrin]

What image?

All of my reputation comments say I'm a horrible troll... =(

Where have you been?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

What people forget is that the honey attracts the flies first, and no one really likes flies.

Isn't this basically saying being nice attracts shitheads so don't worry about being nice?

I don't really get how it's cutting/biting.

[AnticorRifling]

All of my reputation comments say I'm a horrible troll... =(

Where have you been?

Hmm you don't stand out. Sorry.

[Keller]

Isn't this basically saying being nice attracts shitheads so don't worry about being nice?

I don't really get how it's cutting/biting.

The idea is that the person she talked to might have used vinegar (called her bitter) because they didn't want her to come?

[AnticorRifling]

Vinegar attracts the british, they love their fish and chips.

[Clove]

The idea is that the person she talked to might have used vinegar (called her bitter) because they didn't want her to come?And how is that bad?

[Keller]

And how is that bad?

Because it implies we don't like her, either?

[AnticorRifling]

But you don't.


I say go with option A.

[NocturnalRob]

Are her mom and sister going to be there anyway? If so, who cares if she doesn't come (her husband doesn't...)?

I would be a complete dick in a totally passive aggressive way. Make sure that the husband knows that you really want him to come. If he likes football, plan some "guy time" to go watch the games that Sunday. Be really understanding to him about him taking vacation time, etc etc.

She can be the dick. You can be "awesome guy who's totally cool."

[Clove]

Because it implies we don't like her, either?I think it expressly states you don't like her, either. Like you did at the beginning of this thread. Now you just need to express it PC style.

[Stanley Burrell]

Looong story short, I have a bitchy step-sister.


Imagine that Rocktar had boobs.

Egads.


She is highly confrontational, thinks her shit don't stink, and generally lacks basic social graces. But I like her mom and her sister, and don't want to say/do anything that would piss them off or make them uncomfortable.

Most of my family lives in Indianapolis. Well, all of it except for my sister and me (and our families).

This Christmas, my sister and her family are flying into town for the Holidays. This is a big deal as they live on a tight budget and rarely come back to Indy. My dad and step-mom are planning a big family Christmas (we used to do these every year either on Christmas-eve or Christmas day when my sister and her family lived in Indy) for their combined 5 kids (5 kids, 4 spouses, 7 grandkids). Due to scheduling issues around Christmas, the gathering is planned for Monday the 27th.

So one day this week, within about 30 minutes of each other, the following items are published.

First, my step-sister posts the following on Facebook (of course we're all friends with each other): "All too pointed comment: Informing someone that they are bitter is not the best way to entice them to take a vacation day and spend it with people they do not enjoy. Lets see, would that be Honey or Vinegar?"

Next, her husband, who is actually a pretty cool guy I suspect was Hitler in a previous life to deserve being married to her, emails the following to the family: "I'm not sure if everyone gets the 27th off... I get Christmas Eve added on to the weekend but will check to see if I can take vacation on the 27th."

How should I respond? Right now I'm considering just "like"ing her status, but I would like to do something a little more confrontational that will make her mom and sister laugh. I've talked to both of them, and they both are pissed off at the bitch, but don't want to strain an already tense situation.

So, dear PC (Rob, Anticor?), I'm counting on you to come up with something that stings but is playful.

This is a serious amount of text to contemplate what to post as a Facebook response, but, I dunno -- Maybe go with something horrendously friendly. Or post a smilie face on her wall. Bitches love smilie faces.

[Methais]

First, my step-sister posts the following on Facebook (of course we're all friends with each other): "All too pointed comment: Informing someone that they are bitter is not the best way to entice them to take a vacation day and spend it with people they do not enjoy. Lets see, would that be Honey or Vinegar?"

"Speaking of vinegar, it's time for you to douche."

I'm not feeling very creative today, that's all I got. Unless you just wanna goatse her or something. Perhaps giftwrap a picture of goatse for her and put it under the tree when she arrives. And put someone else's name on the FROM tag. Like Jesus.

[Kainen]

Re: vinegar... (insert douchebag comment here)

[Nieninque]

Vinegar attracts the british, they love their fish and chips.


Mmmmmmm....fiiiiiisssssshhhhhh

[Nieninque]

So yeah, Keller.

Why dont you two just fuck and get it over with.

[BriarFox]

Mmmmmmm....fiiiiiisssssshhhhhh

You Brits and your malt vinegar and brown sauce! That is all.

[4a6c1]

I am so relieved I'm not the only one with douchey relatives. KELLER OMG. I unfriended them. But friend and unfriend several more times for effect. And 'idunno facebook is weird it keeps kicking my friends'. And I vote for Robs idea of passive aggressive, undermine her marriage, so that he divorces her for being a douche but you can still be friends with him for life and lulz everytime she doesnt show up to a family function because her ex is there. Yes yes yes.

[NocturnalRob]

I am so relieved I'm not the only one with douchey relatives. KELLER OMG. I unfriended them. But friend and unfriend several more times for effect. And 'idunno facebook is weird it keeps kicking my friends'. And I vote for Robs idea of passive aggressive, undermine her marriage, so that he divorces her for being a douche but you can still be friends with him for life and lulz everytime she doesnt show up to a family function because her ex is there. Yes yes yes.
See? Rojo gets it.

[AnticorRifling]

See? Rojo gets it.

Oh she gets it alright, she gets it all night long.

[NocturnalRob]

Oh she gets it alright, she gets it all night long.
Lionel Richie certainly does get around.

Unless giving it to her involves shaking. And judging by her demeanor, I'll bet it does. In that case, AC/DC gets around. Like a record.

Dead or Alive

Bon Jovi

Bon Iver

Kanye West

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p222/Aragarof/noooo.jpg

[4a6c1]

http://www.made-in-england.org/images/cock_king.gif

WHO GETS IT?!

[Sweets]

http://www.made-in-england.org/images/cock_king.gif

WHO GETS IT?!

Stop it stop it stop it! I can't rep so my love can't be proven to you!

[4a6c1]

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p222/Aragarof/noooo.jpg

I'm a Robin not a fucking Swallow you FUCKTARD.

Also. Tiny penis. Also also. It's ok.

[Latrinsorm]

Another possible course of action not yet fully explored, I think, is to be nice and bunnies and rainbows and flowers and sunshine.

[Delias]

Another possible course of action not yet fully explored, I think, is to be nice and bunnies and rainbows and flowers and sunshine.

This is obviously a last resort, only applicable when your life is in jeopardy and you are stalling to think up your parting one-liner.

[phantasm]

First, my step-sister posts the following on Facebook (of course we're all friends with each other): "All too pointed comment: Informing someone that they are bitter is not the best way to entice them to take a vacation day and spend it with people they do not enjoy. Lets see, would that be Honey or Vinegar?"

Next, her husband, who is actually a pretty cool guy I suspect was Hitler in a previous life to deserve being married to her, emails the following to the family: "I'm not sure if everyone gets the 27th off... I get Christmas Eve added on to the weekend but will check to see if I can take vacation on the 27th."

Ahem, maybe I'm late to the party, but I think this is whats going on...

She's trying to entice her husband to take a vacation day and spend it with her mom and step-father's family in Indianapolis.

Of course, no man will just naturally want to do this so vinegar is just natural on this one...its going to take some honey, and she's going to have to spread her legs to give it to him.

Can't think of a good one liner though, sorry.

[NocturnalRob]

I'm a Robin not a fucking Swallow
False. You are absolutely a swallow.

[4a6c1]

YOUR EYES ARE BROKEN

http://burningbird.net/photos/robin1.jpg

(my breast is very red)

[Kainen]

Better a swallow than a spit, spitting is just.. well, rude.

[NocturnalRob]

(my breast is very red)
next time i won't slap so hard.

or maybe i will.

[4a6c1]

fuck

i got nuthin. :(

[AnticorRifling]

KELLER!!!

Update FFS.

[NocturnalRob]

Update FFS.
This just in--You're still a poophead.

[Keller]

I sent an email to her CC'ing her mom that explained she was a raging cunthole and that she needed to apologize to her mom. I did it more eloquently than that.

She blocked me on Facebook and told her mom that she would definitely not be coming to Christmas.

[Internet is SRS Biznes picture goes here].

[NocturnalRob]

Good. Make sure her husband still joins you guys though.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

she would definitely not be coming to Christmas.

Mission accomplished!

[4a6c1]

Good. Make sure her husband still joins you guys though.

This. You need to keep networks with this guy for further bitch repellant.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Can't we all just get along on the day after the day after the celebrated day of the birth of baby Jesus in which a fictional character flies around the world depositing morsels of goodness to everyone in a single night where consumerism triumphs?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I dunno, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

Touch football, turkey, pumpkin pie, and an epic afternoon nap. Mmm.

[AnticorRifling]

I dunno, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

Touch football, turkey, pumpkin pie, and an epic afternoon nap. Mmm.

Three of the four things you listed are on my list of reasons why I'm not allowed within 500 yards of a petting zoo.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Three of the four things you listed are on my list of reasons why I'm not allowed within 500 yards of a petting zoo.

:rofl:

[Keller]

Good. Make sure her husband still joins you guys though.

Three of us kids have already sent him a separate email making sure he knows how sorry we are he is in the middle of this shit-storm and that we want him to come.

[AnticorRifling]

Still haven't gotten my invite for this get together.

[NocturnalRob]

Still haven't gotten my invite for this get together.
Unblock him on Facebook.

[AnticorRifling]

Unblock him on Facebook.

Not after that nicely worded letter he sent me about my behavior. Fuck him. I have to question was the letter honey or vinegar?!