Cute Lil' Alter

remove my key
You remove a red iron skeleton key from your wrist.
>unlock my coat
You hear a click as it unlocks.
>wear my key
You attach a red iron skeleton key to your wrist.
>open my coat
You open a potion-stained alchemist's laboratory coat.
>get my bird
You remove a rotten ironwood birdcage from in your alchemist's coat.
>look at bird
The battered bars of this birdcage have miraculously withstood ages of futile pecking by its unfortunate prisoners. The cold, rusty base of the birdcage is littered with decaying refuse of many unlucky avians. Some fossilized bird seed is scattered aimlessly about the birdcage in dire hopes of attracting another unsuspecting victim.

>open bird
You open a rotten ironwood birdcage.
>look in bird
In the ironwood birdcage you see a dead owl, a dead lovebird, a dead pigeon, a dead goose and a dead canary.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

[Solkern]

Cute...heh

>peer mir
You look at yourself carefully in the pine-framed mirror...

You see Hammerrhead the Cavalier.
He appears to be a Giant of the Grot'karesh Clan.
He appears to be young. He has black eyes and sickly yellow skin. He has raggedly cut, tangled black hair. He has a lopsided and slightly deformed face and a missing tooth. He has a large wad of tobacco stuffed in his lower lip.
He has a small black skull tattoo on his ankle, a black chain tattoo on his ankle, a black chain tattoo on his neck, and a small black skull tattoo on his neck.
He is in good shape.
He is holding a coppery brown vultite wall shield in his left hand.
He is wearing some red-tinted spectacles, a coppery brown glaes ring, a coppery brown glaes band, a shark's tooth earring, a coppery brown rolaren shark, some coppery brown rolaren chainmail, a visored vultite helm, a coppery brown shamrock, a bleached crossed bone bowtie, a pair of heavy vruul skin gauntlets set with copper knuckle-spikes, a corroded copper bracelet adorned with a series of rusted iron studs, a coppery brown pouch, a coppery brown sack, a badly scuffed wolf hide sheath trimmed with rotting ironwood, some burnished copper bangles, a coppery brown backpack, some corroded copper carillons, a tasteless khaki-colored greatcloak, some enruned spidersilk bracers, some enruned spidersilk leg greaves, some coppery brown suspenders, some frayed hemp pants, and some weathered camouflage boots.

^Sexiest man alive.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

[SiKWiDiT]

Dude, trying to be funny is one thing.

Your fucking pathetic cries for attention are getting old, fast.

With my classic chiseling, who can't help giving this stud a little attention.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

[Fengus]

You seem to like coppery brown. Grasshoppa, your next test will be color coordination.

[Marl]

[quote]Originally posted by Stanley Burrell
He has a large wad of tobacco stuffed in his lower lip.
[quote][i]

.......................

Redneck?

[Skirmisher]

Well you got the bitch part right....thats something.

He has a large wad of tobacco stuffed in his lower lip.
.......................

Redneck?


Well I reckon ya ain't familiar with this here parts lil' man. Mama done raised me on dis here purty farm in KINGSBRIDGE, THE FUCKING BRONX. Moron.

...But y'all take care now, ya hear?

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

[Betheny]

Originally posted by Stanley Burrell
With my classic chiseling, who can't help giving this stud a little attention.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

Yeah, and this is eight inches.

[Shari]

Wouldn't this have been more appropriate in the "What are you wearing" folder instead of making a whole new one?

[Galleazzo]

Get the fuck outa here, Shark Boy. No one gives a shit.

::duck::

Sorry Jesae.

You can all marvel at my physique in the What Are You Wearing Category.

Seeya there.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

>tilt down
You tilt your head down.
>glance pant
You glance at some frayed hemp pants.
>look in pant
In the hemp pants you see a bag of fine white powder and a cloudy quartz glass syringe.
>tilt down
You tilt your head down.
>glance pant
You glance at some frayed hemp pants.
>look pant
A frayed, yellowed rope has been passed through unsewn parts of the pants where the sewing has become undone and prove as makeshift loops. The cuffs share a striking similarity with the belt in that the sewing, there too, is completely worn out and several strands of hemp drag down to the feet.
>look in pant
In the hemp pants you see a bag of fine white powder and a cloudy quartz glass syringe.

tap clamp
You tap a pair of petrified beard clamps.
>look clamp
These odd looking clamps are styled from a pair of fossilized pointed ears of an unknown origin. They are bound by a tiny rusting coil and the tips of the ears are sharpened to allow safe passage into even the scraggliest of beards.
>tap boot
You tap some sturdy dwarven-crafted boots.
>look boot
These sturdy dwarven-crafted boots have been cut from supple leather and dyed a deep midnight hue. Stitched along the sides of each boot are tiny glyphs of stealth. Etched into each heel are the words, "Down with the pointy-ears!" Braided leather cording laces up each boot, ending at a perfect emerald sewn into the cuff.
>tap phyl
You idly tap your dwarven phylactery and its entire surface comes to life with a radiant golden glow.
>look phyl
The phylactery, a small ironwood box strapped to the wrist, has been polished to a high sheen. Despite the care, it can not disguise the dents and nicks that run across its surface. A large portion of the papyrus that is supposed to be inside of the phylactery is unreservedly hanging out. Drawn on the surface is a charcoal image depicting a dwarven mob surrounding a kneeling elf.

[Wezas]

Are you trying for the dumbass of the boards contest? Because X hates to be runner up for anything.

[Shari]

I never deeded anyone in game before. Least of all for oog reasons.

It is times like now I wish I had done so before those fucking DR points were introduced.

[Scott]

This is worse then appreciation posts....

Pretty cool eh?

[Ambrosia]

Yeah, acting like a coke head or heroine user is cool, we all wish we could be major druggies. I guess it's the 'in' thing now. How come I didn't get the memo?

[Ambrosia]

One of my good friends was raised in the Bronx and he acts nothing like you, what fucking water were you drinking?

You annoy me worse than Warclaidhm, and that should tell you something about your behavior....

The Ambrosia says,
One of my good friends was raised in the Bronx and he acts nothing like you, what fucking water were you drinking?

Your friend tricked you. Us Bronxites are merely lying in wait until the zero hour in which we shall release our wrath upon the pathetic excuses for boroughs infesting this proverbial city we call New York.

I don't drink water. I merely suckle upon the sweet blood of the posters on the Players' Corner Forums.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

The Ambrosia says,
Yeah, acting like a coke head or heroine user is cool, we all wish we could be major druggies. I guess it's the 'in' thing now. How come I didn't get the memo?

HEMP! Stop bogarting on the syringe and powder and feast your eyes on the majesty of the actual (and illegal) alter itself. Silly goose.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

[Ambrosia]

You could make hemp pants... they probably wouldn't be that comfortable though. I have hemp necklaces and bracelets that I've made and they are pretty damn scratchy. :shrug:

That must explain these fleshy rashes on my genitalia. :(

Say when are the "new" undergarments supposed to be rollin' out?

[Miss X]

If you aren't talking about alterations, it doesnt belong here Hammerhead. Just some friendly advice. :)

If you aren't talking about alterations, it doesnt belong here Hammerhead. Just some friendly advice.

<Points at Ambrosia and exclaims, "She started it!"> :flamed:

[Miss X]

I'm not bothered who started it, I just don't want it carrying on. That goes for all the threads in Alterations that have gone way off topic. Keep it up and I'll call Artha in to spank you. ;)

[CrystalTears]

We've reached an all-time low.

[Xcalibur]

Originally posted by Wezas
Are you trying for the dumbass of the boards contest? Because X hates to be runner up for anything.

Hmm

http://datacore.sciflicks.com/the_terminator/sounds/the_terminator_12_gauge.wav

[J-Tech]

Dude, with all that "coppery brown" crap on, you look like you fell into a big pile of shit...

J.T.

[AnticorRifling]

Grot'karesh my ass.

I'm not bothered who started it, I just don't want it carrying on. That goes for all the threads in Alterations that have gone way off topic. Keep it up and I'll call Artha in to spank you.

Artha don't like me nearly enough to give me any good spanks. Jest hope those razor-paw brawling weapons don't exist IRL.

::courteously refrains::

The Anticor says,
Grot'karesh my ass.

Alas, we are nothing more than weary travelers ever since THE most important giantkin (half-arkati) Samarak the Grim has passed.

Sadly I feel that whispers of the Battle of Maelshyve grow quieter. This of course, is all a part of destiny, as it is inevitable that Despana will unleash her hoardes of banshees yet again and plunge Elanith into the second age of Chaos.

I pray Lorminstra will welcome me at The Gates.

give it up X

[AnticorRifling]

Originally posted by Stanley Burrell
The Anticor says,
Grot'karesh my ass.

Alas, we are nothing more than weary travelers ever since THE most important giantkin (half-arkati) Samarak the Grim has passed.

Sadly I feel that whispers of the Battle of Maelshyve grow quieter. This of course, is all a part of destiny, as it is inevitable that Despana will unleash her hoardes of banshees yet again and plunge Elanith into the second age of Chaos.

I pray Lorminstra will welcome me at The Gates.

Talking the talk doesn't mean you walk the walk. I hope you leave the ranks and welcome the embrace of Lorminstra as well.

J-Tech master of the LabelError says,
Dude, with all that "coppery brown" crap on, you look like you fell into a big pile of shit...

And I've got the face to match it.

[Skirmisher]

Awwww Stanley's making friends.

Go you! :up:

Talking the talk doesn't mean you walk the walk. I hope you leave the ranks and welcome the embrace of Lorminstra as well.

Well I did only get 17 alters at the last Gate Festival. Didn't see a personal incarnation of Lorminstra though, so methinks I still have fairly balanced karma going fer me.

Members viewing this page: AnticorRifling, Soulpieced, Stanley Burrell (1 Guest.)

Time elapsed 8 minutes...

Ya just gonna stare or post a few more witty comments down fer me to laugh at?

[CrystalTears]

Stanley, read your U2Us please.

Just read em. Didja get my reply?

Speaking of which, any ideas for improvements on my already phenomenal alters and inventory pertaining to this being the Alteration Category? I've heard a few good ones, but am open to more suggestions. :) (you can check the first page to get a re-up.)

[Atlanteax]

Originally posted by J-Tech
Dude, with all that "coppery brown" crap on, you look like you fell into a big pile of shit...

J.T.

:lol: !

::chuckles at Atlanteax::

Perhaps so.

Maybe you'd like to include some helpful suggestions with respect to the Alteration category regarding my post instead :)

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

[Atlanteax]

Originally posted by Stanley Burrell
>tilt down
You tilt your head down.
>glance pant
You glance at some frayed hemp pants.
>look in pant
In the hemp pants you see a bag of fine white powder and a cloudy quartz glass syringe.
>tilt down
You tilt your head down.
>glance pant
You glance at some frayed hemp pants.
>look pant
A frayed, yellowed rope has been passed through unsewn parts of the pants where the sewing has become undone and prove as makeshift loops. The cuffs share a striking similarity with the belt in that the sewing, there too, is completely worn out and several strands of hemp drag down to the feet.
>look in pant
In the hemp pants you see a bag of fine white powder and a cloudy quartz glass syringe.

Lame :thumbsdown:

Then again, you're only doing this for attention... :rolleyes:

[Caiylania]

Originally posted by Stanley Burrell
The Ambrosia says,
Yeah, acting like a coke head or heroine user is cool, we all wish we could be major druggies. I guess it's the 'in' thing now. How come I didn't get the memo?

HEMP! Stop bogarting on the syringe and powder and feast your eyes on the majesty of the actual (and illegal) alter itself. Silly goose.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

If you didn't want people to comment on the syringe and powder then why did you include it in your post? Doh.

>look in pant
In the hemp pants you see a bag of fine white powder and a cloudy quartz glass syringe.

Caiylania says,
If you didn't want people to comment on the syringe and powder then why did you include it in your post? Doh.

Hey guess what Caiylania? It's called a pocketed (gasp) alter, which I clearly demonstrated and you abnoxiously repeated. I've actually seen quite a few pocketed alters selling on the black net (command: Rub my amulet, Pull my amulet.)

And since this is the Alteration category let's keep things appropriate and have our posts pertaining to alters only.

On the same note, check out these altered boots, pocketed too :)

You tap some weathered camouflage boots.
>look boot
Crafted from thick leather to stand up against all kinds of terrain, the boots are a mottled hue, allowing them to blend in easily almost anywhere. Frayed laces loop through a line of dark rolaren eyelets on either side of the boots, their threads wiry and torn. Dried and caked mud lines the bottom of the boots, along with bits of grass and other various muck.
>look in boot
In the camouflage boots you see a flat wicker button.
>push button
Your camouflage boots gives off a quiet clicking sound as you depress the button.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

[TheEschaton]

You realize if you put something in the boots, and press the button, it flies into your hand?


-TheE-

You realize if you put something in the boots, and press the button, it flies into your hand?

Heh. Yep.

If you've got a gillywack spring-loading sheath, you can empty the button into a container.

Pretty cool if ya have double pocketed pants that will hold the button and a dagger.

::prays GMs don't unbug empty verb for these purposes::

Just curious about some of your own alters, maybe a few personal favorite? I fear that I am feeding rapidly into Suppa Hob's trap, so I'm gonna shut up for a while, but would really enjoying seeing what nice stuff you guys and ladies have fashioned.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

[AnticorRifling]

Originally posted by Stanley Burrell
Members viewing this page: AnticorRifling, Soulpieced, Stanley Burrell (1 Guest.)

Time elapsed 8 minutes...

Ya just gonna stare or post a few more witty comments down fer me to laugh at?

Sorry I was in a meeting.

You have 17 big deal. No matter what you get done to your garb your actions still let everyone know you're a meat puppet with a mentally stunted master.

[Artha]

Your lame emoticons are clearly the only SPAM: being presented right now.
I strongly suggest you stop trying to post whore on my comments that actually pertain acceptably to the category and highly recommend you make a few contributions yourself, or shut up and stop trying to leech off of me. Thanks.

I have a better idea. You're not a mod, and unless there's some amazing twist of fate, never will be. So instead of trying to do our work for us and tell other members what they can and can not do, how about you shut the hell up?

:spam:

[Celexei]

Originally posted by Artha


Your lame emoticons are clearly the only SPAM: being presented right now.
I strongly suggest you stop trying to post whore on my comments that actually pertain acceptably to the category and highly recommend you make a few contributions yourself, or shut up and stop trying to leech off of me. Thanks.

I have a better idea. You're not a mod, and unless there's some amazing twist of fate, never will be. So instead of trying to do our work for us and tell other members what they can and can not do, how about you shut the hell up?

:spam:

oh wow thats so damn entertaining...:aww: to you!

[Parkbandit]

If you stop feeding the foolish troll.. maybe he will go elsewhere.

Here's an excellent site.. I recommend it Hammerrhead.

www.klaive.net/forums

[Caiylania]

I was asking you a freakin question. You jumped on another poster for mentioning what you had in your pocket. So I asked why you showed it then.

Shesh, so they are pocketed. Big deal. Lots of people have pocketed alters. Hell, you could have just said "they are pocketed!" If you really didn't want people to comment on the contents.

And what is with you saying I "abnoxiously" repeated you? Um, you have quoted dozens of people, including me now. That is all it was.

Cut the drama.



Originally posted by Stanley Burrell
Caiylania says,
If you didn't want people to comment on the syringe and powder then why did you include it in your post? Doh.

Hey guess what Caiylania? It's called a pocketed (gasp) alter, which I clearly demonstrated and you abnoxiously repeated. I've actually seen quite a few pocketed alters selling on the black net (command: Rub my amulet, Pull my amulet.)

And since this is the Alteration category let's keep things appropriate and have our posts pertaining to alters only.

On the same note, check out these altered boots, pocketed too :)

You tap some weathered camouflage boots.
>look boot
Crafted from thick leather to stand up against all kinds of terrain, the boots are a mottled hue, allowing them to blend in easily almost anywhere. Frayed laces loop through a line of dark rolaren eyelets on either side of the boots, their threads wiry and torn. Dried and caked mud lines the bottom of the boots, along with bits of grass and other various muck.
>look in boot
In the camouflage boots you see a flat wicker button.
>push button
Your camouflage boots gives off a quiet clicking sound as you depress the button.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

[HouseofElves]

Some free advice, cut the inventory in half and put yourself in head to toe order.

Next time I will charge: One soul

[CrystalTears]

Posts that had nothing but a smilie with no commentary have been deleted.

Please do not post merely smilie posts. Either comment to accompany the smilie or don't post at all. The spams are adding to the spam you are all complaining about. If you have a complaint, either voice it or ignore the poster/thread. Let's try to keep our place productive.

Thanks.

[CrystalTears]

Posts that were nothing but a smilie have been deleted.

Please include commentary if you wish to use smilies in your posts. Let's try to keep the threads productive and not add to the spam.

Thanks.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

You missed a lot of the :spam:

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

I think it's bullshit you let a fuck nut like Stanley run rampant on these forums, who SPECIFICALLY POSTED his goal is to post shit and get banned, and when people mock him for the fucktard he is you delete posts.

START FUCKING DELETING HIS BULLSHIT

[CrystalTears]

We can't help people improve their posting habits if you post in this fashion. I've been working on the problem, but adding to it by spamming with just as many nonsense posts is not going to make the problem go away, in fact all it does is aggravate it.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Ok, so when I create 10 threads, I CERTAINLY expect the same fucking consideration (ie you aren't going to delete my threads, LIKE LAST TIME). Right? That is what you are saying, RIGHT?

CREATE ALL THE BULLSHIT YOU WANT, BUT DON"T MOCK IT.

That is the message I got.

[Skirmisher]

Suppa, making posts screaming with curses isnt the best way to make your point.

Sure Stanley is a troll, but who is the one feeding him here?

Come on, disagree, but retain some dignity.

Dont let someone as small as Stanley make you drop down like that.

[DeV]

Originally posted by CrystalTears
We can't help people improve their posting habits if you post in this fashion. I've been working on the problem, but adding to it by spamming with just as many nonsense posts is not going to make the problem go away, in fact all it does is aggravate it.
I think a thread I made yesterday in Off Topic was deleted.. It was referring to Stanley Burrell. I was simply giving my psychological view of the teen and they deleted my study.
:(

[CrystalTears]

Oh no, it wasn't deleted. It was just merged in with Bob's thread, since it was dealing with the same thing.

I apologize to you for not informing you of the change. My bad.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Nice equalateral application of policy. How about you "combine" the "I'm a Sexy Bitch" thread, with the "Check out my squeeky pants" threads then as well? They are dealing with the same thing. Dumb fucks alterations.

It's complete bullshit and you know it CT. Put the hammer down on him, not people that actually contribute to these boards.

[CrystalTears]

I was in the process of doing revamping between yesterday and today. Gimme some slack, I've been sick. :(

Anyway, I have merged all of his alterations threads into one.

You can coax me more with honey than vinegar, honey bun. You'd "contribute" a whole lot more if we worked as a team instead of yelling at me. You can always IM me you know. I'm not THAT bad. ;)

[Edited on 4/13/2004 by CrystalTears]

[Galleazzo]

Yeah, I'm finding I'm suddenly locked out of some topics. What's going on, please?

(I used please, no swearing.)

[Hulkein]

Same, I tried to respond to a thread, said I was not allowed to view it :shrug: I am guessing it was moved so the thread ID was different. Probably along the same lines as what happened to you Galleazzo

[Galleazzo]

Sounds like. I feel better, then, thanks Hulkein.

[Celexei]

i just enjoy seeing the bashing of the space cadet.....and the logs, so not complainin to much!

Posts that were nothing but a smilie have been deleted.

CrystalTears, I love you, in a platonic manner.

Two cool MODs on this sight so far: CrystalTears and Peam.

[Skirmisher]

What exactly is it that grants you the right to ddecide which mod is cool when a huge percentage of your posts seem to be for no reason except to piss people off?

If you behave like a naughty child you should not be surprised to get spanked.

If you calm your self down and simply post in more helpful manner you will find an incredible difference in your reception.

That doesn't mean that you have to be all love dovey with every person here. Bob surely is willing to criticise people as are we all at times. Just dont flood the board with spam and intentionally annoying posts is all.

^^^ :spam:

I was merely stating that CrystalTears is cool, because after me being a jackass, she actually went out of her way and x'd SHM's posts.

Peam is cool because for some strange reason he's actually been nice to me.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Hey Dumbfuck, you post nothing but :spam:

SHM is a quick learner.

Way to go. Your adding some nonsense text before posting that idiotic emoticon has truly showed what a quick learner you are and made you a very respectable individual.

If it sounds like spam, tastes like spam, smells like spam, then it's probably the respectable SHM.

Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Hey, dumbfuck, take your OOC RP "skilz", and find another venue. :spam:

[HarmNone]

Heh. If you find you cannot access a thread, it is probably because one of us is either moving it, merging it, or holding prayer over it. :D

HarmNone

Hey, dumbfuck, take your OOC RP "skilz", and find another venue.

I said "skillz" not "skilz." Don't doctor posts, it makes you look even more pathetic than you already are.


Sincerely,
-Hammerrhead

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Please refer to yourself as "Broken condom" in the future, so everyone will know what an accident you really are. KTHX

:spam:

[Nieninque]

Originally posted by the Boy Blunder
Don't doctor posts, it makes you look even more pathetic than you already are.


Like this you mean...?


Ending sentences with "y"s and "ie"s is a prerequisite for halfling.

Snowdrop asks, "Ewwos, anywuns open fer a few hobgobwin boxies, pweese?"


Sad pathetic pondlife.

[HarmNone]

Okay. War's over. If you are going to resort to insulting one another in multiple posts, take it to IMs or U2U. These boards are not here to support a private war between two posters.

I do not want to delete posts, but that is what this is going to come to if it does not stop.

HarmNone

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Please start with the 112 worthless posts by the poster boy for abortion.

Thanks

[HarmNone]

If I have to start, SHM, I'll delete all of the posts in this silly war. Just take it to U2U.

HarmNone does not want to do this...really...

[Galleazzo]

Originally posted by HarmNone
Heh. If you find you cannot access a thread, it is probably because one of us is either moving it, merging it, or holding prayer over it. :DNow I got this mental image of sitting shivah over a thread. W00t.

[HouseofElves]

Originally posted by Suppa Hobbit Mage
poster boy for abortion.




lmao

I was enjoying the commentary, but agreed, it is off topic. Mods=good