Execute Zombie Uprising Plan A.

[Delias]

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/08/cops-officer-bitten-by-man-at-hospital.html

I know the signs! The undead could be rising as I type this. I don't know how long I have before they overrun the city... At last, vindication for all of my "insane" preparations!

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

My zombie plan is.. oh wait I live in a city. Yeah I'm fucked.

[Leloo]

Ok, where should we hold up? We need a place with a good food sources and few exits. Something we can defend and not have one sneak up behind us! Any ideas?

[RichardCranium]

A mall with no escalators and that's across from a gun depot.

[Leloo]

But almost every shop in the mall has a back door. That's a ton of doors to secure and many places for zombies to hide in... What about a storage warehouse?

[WRoss]

I have a field, a pond, and suburbia around me. Think that soccer moms will use their SUVs to kill people?

[Syberus]

I'm hiding in that office in Birmingham. It's hidden in an alley, the elevator is buzz locked to the 4th floor and there's only one set of entrance doors once you get off the elevator and they're buzz locked too. It also has a full service kitchen, sleeping quarters and I think private parking in the back.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

and I think private parking in the back.

Yeah, nothing would suck more than driving around trying to find a parking spot while the Zombie apocalypse is unfolding.

[iJin]

Me and my boyfriend will be staking out in a Chipotle restaurant, with alot of Dr Pepper 12-packs and coffee for Justin and I guess water, our laptops, a bunch of guns and ammo, my iPhone, several knives, and red velvet cake with buttercream frosting.


Edit: Oh, and the other day I saw this white Chrysler with Uncle Sam with the words under him saying, "Are you ready for the zombie invasion?" It was very rad.

[Gnome Rage]

I will be holding up at my uncles freakin' mansion... Both my father and his gun collections are there.

Actually... on second thought; He has a lot of glass doors. Maybe it would be better to just take the guns and head to like Antarctica

[Cephalopod]

I plan on getting bitten early on. I'm pretty sure all the chicks will want my zombie dick.

[iJin]

I will.

[RichardCranium]

But almost every shop in the mall has a back door. That's a ton of doors to secure and many places for zombies to hide in... What about a storage warehouse?

Good idea. Twinkie factory in Quahog, maybe?

[Archigeek]

But almost every shop in the mall has a back door. That's a ton of doors to secure and many places for zombies to hide in... What about a storage warehouse?

Storage warehouses (at least if they're high pile storage) have one fire department access door every 100'. Plus, they're wide open on the inside, so if zombies get in, you might be screwed. On the bright side, most of the doors are secured from the inside, (fire access doesn't necessarily mean zombie access), usually have a fenced perimeter with camera security, and are tall, with plenty of places for gun nests on the roof. Oh, and the good ones have back up generators, though you'll run out of fuel pretty quickly if you try to maintain temp in the whole building.

Oh, and if you're going for a storage warehouse, make it a food storage warehouse. You'll need a good sized crew and plenty of ammo to defend, but you'll be well fed!

[TheLastShamurai]

When the apocalypse hits, I'm creating a Zombies of Wal-Mart website. No reason to lose our senses of humor just because of a little zombie outbreak!

[TheLastShamurai]

Maybe it would be better to just take the guns and head to like Antarctica

Cold places don't scare Nazi zombies...

http://www.501blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/dead-snow-poster.jpg

[Gnome Rage]

Damn I'm out of ideas then. Maybe I'll just follow you guys.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

All I know is as long as I have Tisket and her trusty banana by my side, I'll be fine.

[Gnome Rage]

I call hiding in Nikki's ball pit.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I call hiding in Nikki's ball pit.

Definitely a good place to hide. The good thing is my design is completely portable so no matter what, we'll have the ball pit as our last defense.

[Gnome Rage]

They would get so confused by the bouncing balls.

[Syberus]

Yeah, nothing would suck more than driving around trying to find a parking spot while the Zombie apocalypse is unfolding.

Hey! It could be isolated enough that zombies can't get in. Having access to reliable transport seems like a big advantage.

[Leloo]

We can't rely entirely on guns! We'd run out of bullets or it'd dramatically jam at the wrong time! So we need to make sure we have a supply of machetes, swords, and records to defend ourselves.

If all else fails, we can hole up at the pub.

[Gnome Rage]

Also, I think that long range is important. Bows and Arrows anyone? We got a fletcher in the house?

[Archigeek]

You can reload ammo. And all good bars keep a riffle over the bar. It's a known fact.

The real deciding factor is going to be the number of survivors. Too many survivors and the competition for guns, ammo and food and fuel is going to be fierce.

And then there's Bill Murray.

[Gnome Rage]

We could make perfume out of rotting meat and blend in with the zombies, its not all fun and makeup! Ya gotta really smell like 'em

[Leloo]

And practice your moan and shuffle walk! Once we smell like them and get the movements down we should be able to move through a crowd easy enough!

Then again.. if we look too realistic we'll be shot like Bill Murray!

[Ribbons]

My zombie plan is to take out as many as I can. Even if I have to use rocks.

Fuck yeah.

[iJin]

Cold places don't scare Nazi zombies...

http://www.501blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/dead-snow-poster.jpg

That movie sucked donkey balls.

[Syberus]

You can reload ammo. And all good bars keep a riffle over the bar. It's a known fact.

Ok so maybe it's a real gun, but dogs CAN look up.

[Kuyuk]

I plan on fucking a zombie chick TO DEATH.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Also, I think that long range is important. Bows and Arrows anyone? We got a fletcher in the house?

Personally I feel like being comfortable with hand to hand combat is important. You have to get those fuckers right in the brain so the easiest way would be to slam a crowbar through the eye, etc. Blunt = best as far as brain spillage goes.

I'd take a good hand to hand weapon over a gun... no reloading, looking for ammo, etc for a barbed wire wrapped baseball bat or a rusty crowbar. I mean maybe an emergency backup pistol would be helpful eventually having a gun as a primary weapon seems like a recipe for disaster.

[Gnome Rage]

Personally I feel like being comfortable with hand to hand combat is important. You have to get those fuckers right in the brain so the easiest way would be to slam a crowbar through the eye, etc. Blunt = best as far as brain spillage goes.

I'd take a good hand to hand weapon over a gun... no reloading, looking for ammo, etc for a barbed wire wrapped baseball bat or a rusty crowbar. I mean maybe an emergency backup pistol would be helpful eventually having a gun as a primary weapon seems like a recipe for disaster.

I would go with my bow. You can always get your arrows again. But I would want to have a polearm or something, a distance weapon but something you always have.

[Archigeek]

I would go with my bow. You can always get your arrows again. But I would want to have a polearm or something, a distance weapon but something you always have.

Only would a GS player think, "hmm, zombie apocalypse, I need me a polearm!"

[TheLastShamurai]

Only would a GS player think, "hmm, zombie apocalypse, I need me a polearm!"

Probably get tired in like 30 seconds from using it and get eaten.

[Delias]

We can't rely entirely on guns! We'd run out of bullets or it'd dramatically jam at the wrong time! So we need to make sure we have a supply of machetes, swords, and records to defend ourselves.

If all else fails, we can hole up at the pub.

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure this crowd has a good supply of edged weapons.

My friend's family has a cabin in wisconsin that, with some hard work and explosives, can be turned into an island. (It's on a sort of peninsula in a lake.) The key will be beating his family there. I mean yeah, we're friends, but there's no way I'm NOT taking over such a good place to hole up.

[Ribbons]

I still have some of my swords. And I'm not horrendously rusty with them. Just not as fast.

Who wants to be on my team? I got weaponz.

[Tisket]

I intend to get zombified as quickly as possible.

Then I'm coming to eat each one of you fuckers.

[Delias]

I still have some of my swords. And I'm not horrendously rusty with them. Just not as fast.

Who wants to be on my team? I got weaponz.

You had me at "I still have some of my swords".

[Ribbons]

You had me at "I still have some of my swords".

LOL.

Now I kinda want a zombie apocalypse. It'd be a sweet way to show off.

[Delias]

Sad to say I gave away all of my large bladed weaponry when I moved several years ago. Today I only have some firearms, a heavy mace, and some solid wood nightclubs of the old police style. Plenty of small knives, but nothing with the decapitating/dismembering power of a sword.

[Ribbons]

Sad to say I gave away all of my large bladed weaponry when I moved several years ago. Today I only have some firearms, a heavy mace, and some solid wood nightclubs of the old police style. Plenty of small knives, but nothing with the decapitating/dismembering power of a sword.

I've got five weapons in total. Two katana, a rapier, a leaf-bladed spear, and a longsword. One of the katana's is kinda useless though. The Yakiba and Mune are switched. Still looks badass.

Really though? Wooden nightclubs? That would've been cool.

[Celephais]

This whole "use a melee weapon" thing only works with the older slow zombies. A 28 days later outbreak and melee weapons would be rather difficult to use to fend off, they're just too fast.

[Leloo]

Well, if it's a 28 days later style fighting in general is a little useless. At that point, we should get on a boat and go into the middle of the ocean and wait for them to starve to death. Of course, we must bring a proper supply of spam.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Well, if it's a 28 days later style fighting in general is a little useless. At that point, we should get on a boat and go into the middle of the ocean and wait for them to starve to death. Of course, we must bring a proper supply of spam.

This.

If a normalish outbreak, then it's time for brain slushee mania and thus, a lot of blunt objects (insert penis joke here).

[Stanley Burrell]

I intend to become partially zombified and then constantly have to take my medication so I don't become a full zombie.

And wield a silver sword.

And kill the vampires.

Especially the new-age gay ones.

This will all be accomplished once I've completed serving time for tax evasion. Good day,

- A cinematic black man

[pabstblueribbon]

Would anyone like a peanut? On a more serious note. I can hotewire a bus; I have watched both A-Team and the Dukes of Hazzard on more than one occasion. Also, I can weld. Wait a minute. Actually, zombies? Fuck zombies. Trains are incredibly simple to drive, if you know how to run a clutch that is. Oh and really good with a steering wheel... Zombies ain't shit to a train or its tracks. I've had this dream.. once or twice.. I won. Fuck those wolves chasing me around the kitchen table on linoleum while I'm wearing socks.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I intend to get zombified as quickly as possible.

Then I'm coming to eat each one of you fuckers.

I'll be waiting. Come eat me, biatch!

[pabstblueribbon]

I intend to become partially zombified and then constantly have to take my medication so I don't become a full zombie.

And wield a silver sword.

And kill the vampires.

Especially the new-age gay ones.

This will all be accomplished once I've completed serving time for tax evasion. Good day,

- A cinematic black man

Just don't try and make a cool joke by pretending to be a zombie in front of a jumpy nerdy white guy.

Them bitches is kra-zay.

[Delias]

I'll be waiting. Come eat me, biatch!

I'll get the camera.

[Stanley Burrell]

Would anyone like a peanut? On a more serious note. I can hotewire a bus; I have watched both A-Team and the Dukes of Hazzard on more than one occasion. Also, I can weld. Wait a minute. Actually, zombies? Fuck zombies. Trains are incredibly simple to drive, if you know how to run a clutch that is. Oh and really good with a steering wheel... Zombies ain't shit to a train or its tracks. I've had this dream.. once or twice.. I won. Fuck those wolves chasing me around the kitchen table on linoleum while I'm wearing socks.

You know damn well that every time you need to take over a train to crush zombies, robots, ghouls or androids there's always a shitfest right before you take over the train. And the conductor zombie always has, like, mad hit points. Remember, use a phoenix down on the train if it (the train) is already undead. I think that's how it goes.

[Gnome Rage]

I love that PBR says on a more serious note, in a thread about zombie apocalypse.

[Celephais]

You know damn well that every time you need to take over a train to crush zombies, robots, ghouls or androids there's always a shitfest right before you take over the train. And the conductor zombie always has, like, mad hit points. Remember, use a phoenix down on the train if it (the train) is already undead. I think that's how it goes.

Not all ghosts are evil, some will fight with you... but you cannot take them with you.

[pabstblueribbon]

I love that PBR says on a more serious note, in a thread about zombie apocalypse.


THIS SHIT IS SERIOUS.

One time I thought about making an underground complex to survive a nuclear holaucost*(fuck spelling).

Okay so maybe not so much a haulocost but more a grow room. IN MY YOUNGER DAYS.

*shifty eyes*

FOR goddamn it. FOR. Fuck. Oh yeah and I uh, meant.. zombie.. apocolypse. Or something.

[Delias]

try missilebases.com

[pabstblueribbon]

try missilebases.com

Amatuer.

[Leloo]

When I was in my apartment in Michigan we had a sweet plan for if it came. Cause it totally could one day! We were on the second floor with a flight of stairs leading to the front door. So say it began a state over, that day we run out and stock things that can last a long time, with or without refrigeration. Then we stock up on machetes and cans of soup that we can throw down at them. With no way for them to get to us then we were safe. Now that I'm back at home there is no safe place to be


I write this with the warning I was ambien while writing this reply,

[Methais]

Of course, we must bring a proper supply of spam.

I think it'd be better if we left IorakeWarhammer behind.

[Gnome Rage]

Higher ground is always important!

[pabstblueribbon]

I love that PBR says on a more serious note, in a thread about zombie apocalypse.

Teh funniest part is that the sentence after I said on a more serious note is complete hogwash(heh)
.

Fuck you period.

Trains don't have steering wheels, nor clutches.

Also, if you get the Farside reference you're either old or cool.

Or spend a lot of time in the bathroom in.. oid peoples.. er. bathrooms.

[Ribbons]

This whole "use a melee weapon" thing only works with the older slow zombies. A 28 days later outbreak and melee weapons would be rather difficult to use to fend off, they're just too fast.

I don't really intend to live long during a zombie invasion. I'd just be looking for things to kill.

[Methais]

Or spend a lot of time in the bathroom in.. oid peoples.. er. bathrooms.

What about cool peoples' bathrooms?

[Archigeek]

The first round of defense should be a solid perimeter and snipers on the roof.

One other thing to think about though, with all those "dead" zombies piling up around the perimeter, we should be concerned about disease running rampant. You could die of the flu during the zombie apocalypse. That would really suck; no style. Who's on cleanup duty?

[pabstblueribbon]

The first round of defense should be a solid perimeter and snipers on the roof.

One other thing to think about though, with all those "dead" zombies piling up around the perimeter, we should be concerned about disease running rampant. You could die of the flu during the zombie apocalypse. That would really suck; no style. Who's on cleanup duty?


Totally. Cause the only probable cause for a zombie invasion definitely isn't a disease.

"Hey man that uh. I think he bit you man. You might need to put the kettle on and take this here thera-flu."

[Delias]

The first round of defense should be a solid perimeter and snipers on the roof.

One other thing to think about though, with all those "dead" zombies piling up around the perimeter, we should be concerned about disease running rampant. You could die of the flu during the zombie apocalypse. That would really suck; no style. Who's on cleanup duty?

Mr. Flamethrower.

[Ribbons]

The first round of defense should be a solid perimeter and snipers on the roof.

One other thing to think about though, with all those "dead" zombies piling up around the perimeter, we should be concerned about disease running rampant. You could die of the flu during the zombie apocalypse. That would really suck; no style. Who's on cleanup duty?

I was thinking of using the corpses to build a wall around the base. Nothing says resourceful like a wall of corpses to keep the undead out.

[Latrinsorm]

n.o....e.s.c.a.p.e...

[pabstblueribbon]

Mr. Flamethrower.

Joo are not thinkiiing. In the imortal words of Phil Hartman, "Fire bad.".




I have weighed out so many plausibilities that its frightening..


Or I'm just sick and fucking tired of the retarded shit Hollywood puts out these days..

Yeah. Don't go with me to a movie unless you really want to spend a few hours after we get drunk discussing how fucking retardedly disconnected writers are from reality.

IE any film by the douchebag that ruined Transformers. I know, robot aliens that transform into cars isn't exactly plausible.. GODAMNIT now i've gone and over-thought this sentence. Fuck.

[Delias]

Joo are not thinkiiing. In the imortal words of Phil Hartman, "Fire bad.".




I have weighed out so many plausibilities that its frightening..


Or I'm just sick and fucking tired of the retarded shit Hollywood puts out these days..

Yeah. Don't go with me to a movie unless you really want to spend a few hours after we get drunk discussing how fucking retardedly disconnected writers are from reality.

IE any film by the douchebag that ruined Transformers. I know, robot aliens that transform into cars isn't exactly plausible.. GODAMNIT now i've gone and over-thought this sentence. Fuck.


Hey, I once got into a debate over the physics of the Fireball spell in d&d. I know it's magic, but once the fire is created, it still conforms to the laws of physics, god damnit.

[m444w]

I was thinking of using the corpses to build a wall around the base. Nothing says resourceful like a wall of corpses to keep the undead out.

except horde tactics would dictate that eventually your wall would lose effectiveness due to the pile becoming more and more sloped, and therefore surmountable.

Mr. Flamethrower has it... Or Mr. Napalm would be a better tactic.

[Delias]

except horde tactics would dictate that eventually your wall would lose effectiveness due to the pile becoming more and more sloped, and therefore surmountable.

Mr. Flamethrower has it... Or Mr. Napalm would be a better tactic.

I was originally going to go with Mr. Napalm but I didn't think it had the same ring to it.

[pabstblueribbon]

What about cool peoples' bathrooms?


You were probably just sucking dick.





WHAMMY.

Its shake and bake. I'm not entirely sure that I helped.

[iJin]

I say we all fill these out.

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/7207/943198260d1263554267zom.jpg


Or this one.


http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/8612/zombieti.jpg

[m444w]

I was originally going to go with Mr. Napalm but I didn't think it had the same ring to it.

How about Mr. Jellified Gasoline!?

[Delias]

How about Mr. Jellified Gasoline!?

I wonder if anyone has actually changed their name to that.

Edit: Dibs.

[pabstblueribbon]

I was originally going to go with Mr. Napalm but I didn't think it had the same ring to it.

God. You guys have failed the most crucial step in surviving a zombie attack. Based on imperical data, which I've collected from fictional intertainment archives..

The first, the very fucking first, thing you do, is shoot every non-infected fucking idiot in the face.

You are limited on your time. Choose wisely.

[Ribbons]

The real question...is there really safety in numbers? Or just a giant lure for moar zombies?

[Delias]

Sharksuit. If a shark can't bite through it, neither can a zombie.

[pabstblueribbon]

How about Mr. Jellified Gasoline!?

Styrofoam and gasoline...

Ah.. the 'missing years'..

[DCSL]

I had plans in place for when I lived in Texas (make our way to friend's house, where arsenal awaited in sparsely populated ranch country with good visibility. Also, his father built an eight foot rock wall around the house with a big ol' iron-reinforced oak gate. Ah, stockpilers...) and for when I lived in Colorado (take over the ghetto grocery store two blocks away, the one with one tiny entrance in the front, no windows, and a steel door on the dock) but now that I'm in New Mexico... Fuck. No idea.

Eventually, I'd succumb to lack of cheese. I mean, who the fuck has the time to make cheese during the zombie apocalypse? And then how would I live without it? The answer is, I couldn't. I would also have a hard time with the paucity of showers. So basically, I'd throw myself to the zombies and become one of them because I would have no cheese and I would be so unclean, I couldn't stand it.

[Ribbons]

Sharksuit. If a shark can't bite through it, neither can a zombie.

Gotta add spikes to it, teach those brain hungry fucks not to bite pointy things.

[Delias]

Styrofoam and gasoline...

Ah.. the 'missing years'..

I'm getting the feeling that, aside from a few differences, everyone on this board essentially shared the same childhood.

[pabstblueribbon]

I was thinking of using the corpses to build a wall around the base. Nothing says resourceful like a wall of corpses to keep the undead out.

Do you happen to have a man-thong, spear, a dapper beard (really i mean fuck, how you get your beard so nice back in them dino-saur days*) scream this is sparta and kick that mofo down a well when anyone tries to make you their bitch?

It would totally be cool if you said yes.

Otherwise. Corpse walls would probably stop 5 limp dicks. 5 really big limp dicks.

[Celephais]

My last words are totally going to be "We're absolutely safe enough to have sex now."

[Delias]

How can anyone maintain a limp dick around that many corpses? mmm-mmm.

Yep. Necrophilia joke.

[Ribbons]

Do you happen to have a man-thong, spear, a dapper beard (really i mean fuck, how you get your beard so nice back in them dino-saur days*) scream this is sparta and kick that mofo down a well when anyone tries to make you their bitch?

It would totally be cool if you said yes.

Otherwise. Corpse walls would probably stop 5 limp dicks. 5 really big limp dicks.

Missing the beard. Do I still win?

[pabstblueribbon]

My last words are totally going to be "We're absolutely safe enough to have sex now."

Ah.. the invention of lying.

It's worth it. That's what I got out of it anyways.

[iJin]

You guys, don't be lazy fucks goddamit and fill out the template!

My last words will be, "You ugly mother.." Bah, that's so cliche. How about, "You bitch, you spilled my last DP.."

Yep, that works.

[Ribbons]

Last words would be, "Make sure no vampires have gotten into our home base."

Would only be good if I was in a group.

[pabstblueribbon]

I had plans in place for when I lived in Texas (make our way to friend's house, where arsenal awaited in sparsely populated ranch country with good visibility. Also, his father built an eight foot rock wall around the house with a big ol' iron-reinforced oak gate. Ah, stockpilers...) and for when I lived in Colorado (take over the ghetto grocery store two blocks away, the one with one tiny entrance in the front, no windows, and a steel door on the dock) but now that I'm in New Mexico... Fuck. No idea.

Eventually, I'd succumb to lack of cheese. I mean, who the fuck has the time to make cheese during the zombie apocalypse? And then how would I live without it? The answer is, I couldn't. I would also have a hard time with the paucity of showers. So basically, I'd throw myself to the zombies and become one of them because I would have no cheese and I would be so unclean, I couldn't stand it.

Solar shower, also, cheese is easy to make. There is a reason its been around for centuries. Just because it went from a homemade item to 'holy fuck its cheese in a package? Where will we find more packages!?' doesn't mean there isn't, ahem, a resourceful person that could easily make it.

Hit me up. You bring that turkey boob and the D&D rulebook and I'll make the cheese. Double fucking entoundre.

[iJin]

Last words would be, "Make sure no vampires have gotten into our home base."

Would only be good if I was in a group.


I will be in your group. I bring alot to the table. Mhm.

[Ribbons]

I will be in your group. I bring alot to the table. Mhm.

I have to warn you, I will not hesitate to kick you into the path of charging zombies.

[Tisket]

I bet Jin's brains are tasty.

[iJin]

I have to warn you, I will not hesitate to kick you into the path of charging zombies.

That is if I didn't already leave you in the safe house sleeping as bait for the zombies while I make my way to the boat!


P.S Nikki's old thread. These make me laugh http://forum.gsplayers.com/showthread.php?t=50557

[Ribbons]

That is if I didn't already leave you in the safe house sleeping as bait for the zombies while I make my way to the boat!


P.S Nikki's old thread. These make me laugh http://forum.gsplayers.com/showthread.php?t=50557

See! This'll be a good group.

[pabstblueribbon]

I will be in your group. I bring alot to the table. Mhm.

Only if we decide to eat you.*

*No idea if thats relevant since I've never seen a picture of you but I couldn't help myself.

Fat jokes. Funny if they aren't true, fatass. (disclaimer: this comment in no way is referring to you, iJin. Just to fat people who will easily die first cause they can't run or smart people will hunt them cause they are so tasty.)

Yep. Pretty pretty pretty sure this here bottles needs to go away.

Getting fairly close to Stan's subconcious. I think.

[iJin]

Hah. So, you eat fat people regularly to assume they are greatly tasy? No, I think that goes beyond what Stan would do. ;)

[Gnome Rage]

He loves a daily dose of fupa.

[iJin]

That sounds like a form of un-tasty tofu.

[Gnome Rage]

There might be a fishy aftertaste.

[m444w]

There might be a fishy aftertaste.

that's what she said

[pabstblueribbon]

Fat upper pussy, and no.

Fat is tasty. When I have a ribeye, a properly cut ribeye mind you, I will save that fatty shit for the end like its dessert. One time I had a vegan girlfriend. Oh the power of bacon. And my cock.

And jedi mind tricks.

And restraining orders.

[Delias]

I refuse to be friends with people who claim to be vegetarians for moral reasons. Just because a plant can't run away doesn't mean you aren't murdering it. Just admit that murder is delicious.

Also, my last words: "I TOLD YOU SO!"

[Kenn]

Oddly enough, my old roommate and I used to talk about zombies quite often, I made a plan... this was the beginning of it:



So I've discussed my plans in the event of a zombie invasion with a few of you, now I've decided it's time to type them up so you can get a glimpse of my true genius... or the depth of my boredom, either way works. I welcome any sort of criticism or ideas you may have. Unlike my proposed enemy, this guide is a living, breathing thing.

This guide will operate under the zombie physics / laws put forth in the Zombie Survival Manual. Should there be a different kind of zombie, I'll have to adapt.

Basic ideas: 1.) zombies are slow moving and lack any sort of communal cohesion. 2.) they utilize 100% of their muscles' potential at all times, making them appear super strong. 3.) they rely on all of their senses equally, meaning they are not sight based like we are.

For starters, I'd just like to toss out a rough outline of ideals I have considered for choosing where I'd hide out. 1.) Defense. Is it easily defensible? What, if any, are the weak points? Is it a sound enough structure? 2.) Availability of supplies. Once there, can I stay there? 3.) Proximity to where I am. 4.) Any possible impact of post hysteria looting by the living.

All these factors being taken into consideration, my ideal plays of refuge are Wall-Mart or a Target with a garden section. First off, defense. These buildings are large with few entrances, any service / shipping entrance would more than likely open outward, making any sort of knocking the door in physically harder. Most of these will have roof access inside the building itself should I ever have to retreat to my last stand position. Apart from the initial looting I anticipate, a lot of supplies would be left behind. Any camping gear, basic tools, all the shelving / furniture available, water purification, buckets to act as rain catches, patio shades, planting soil, fertilizer, potential fruit / vegetable seeds. There is the issue of the main customer entrances, often made of large plexiglass sliding doors. But also with those sliding doors comes what I will refer to as a "buffer" zone. Most Target's / Wall-Marts in the area have 2 sets of sliding doors with a small little room in between them. This room can be filled with shopping carts, excess furniture / shelving, isle shelving or anything else that would be wasted space making it extremly hard for the living dead to penetrate. On top of that, one can board up the two sets of sliding doors with shelving and then cover that with bed sheets / shower curtains / window curtains to block any light coming in or out. This is paramount to remaining here indefinately. Even the best defenses can be overwhelmed by sheer numbers. Doing your best to avoid detection by the living dead is your best defense when in a seige-type situation.

But, I am getting ahead of myself. Those sort of forifications can only be done once you are sure the building you have selected is clean. This is where having a group of people with you can help. A thorough sweep of the building must be made. Every isle, bathroom stall, manager office, employee breakroom, and food court stand must be cleared to ensure that you truely are safe. If it can be avoided, never go anywhere alone. Keep in a tight group, with whatever weapons you can assemble on hand. Once you are positive the building is clean, do your best to dispatch any living dead probably now gathering at the entrance of the store. If their numbers are too great, do your best to fill in the buffer zone and seal off the inner set of doors to prevent any more zombies from detecting you.

Once the most vulnerable door is sealed off, take the time too check all the other doors in the building. Any interior doors can also be used as makeshift barracades for any outter doors that appear weak or that are damaged. Take inventory of anything you may have. Fire surpresants, buckets, tools, bedding, clothing, non-perishable food, perishable food, luxury items, etc. Be sure to consume or disguard any perishable materials first. Utilize the roof access to dispose of any unwanted materials by dumping them off the side of the building. Be sure to use a side of the building far away from any entrances that may have to be used in the event of a security breach or fire. This side of the building will also have to be your latrine. Any waste that can be harmful must be kept out of your building if at all possible.

Once you have taken stock, begin to orginize your supplies. Wherever your roof access is should be your primary supply storage. In the event of a breach, this is your final fall back position before evacuating to the roof. Throughout the store build a couple makeshift barracades with a funnel point that can be blocked off. Use any extra shelving / furniture for this purpose. These barracades don't have to be impregnable, they just have to slow the advance of the living dead long enough for you to make your escape to the roof. A good example would be making a small retaining wall about 3 - 4 feet high with a break in it that can be blocked off by another section of shelving or an unused door. Be sure to keep a supply of water, water catches, sun shades, sun screen, emergency bedding, medical supplies, etc. on the roof. In the chaos of an evacuation, you don't want to be worrying about grabbing supplies and climbing a ladder.

Also, utilize the rooftop to try and grow a few sustainable foods. This is where Wall-Mart has Target beat. Many Wall-Marts have a fresh produce section of the store. Not all fruits / vegetables will be able to be germinated, but a small portion might be ripe enough to grow more food. A supply of excess fertilizer, Q-tips (for polinating any flowers should there be no bees), potting soil, planters, etc. should be kept on the roof as well. Anything that can be used to signal a passing helecopter or military unit should be readily available as well. Even just a string of bedsheets tied to the side of the building indicating your presence would be good. Zombies can't read, who cares. If you have a group of people with you, shifts of watching for any possible rescue should be set up.

I have much more to this plan, but it's getting late and I'm tired. Stay tuned for more survival tips and my plan for an evacuation of the building should the need arise.

[pabstblueribbon]

Oddly enough, my old roommate and I used to talk about zombies quite often, I made a plan... this was the beginning of it:



So I've discussed my plans in the event of a zombie invasion with a few of you, now I've decided it's time to type them up so you can get a glimpse of my true genius... or the depth of my boredom, either way works. I welcome any sort of criticism or ideas you may have. Unlike my proposed enemy, this guide is a living, breathing thing.

This guide will operate under the zombie physics / laws put forth in the Zombie Survival Manual. Should there be a different kind of zombie, I'll have to adapt.

Basic ideas: 1.) zombies are slow moving and lack any sort of communal cohesion. 2.) they utilize 100% of their muscles' potential at all times, making them appear super strong. 3.) they rely on all of their senses equally, meaning they are not sight based like we are.

For starters, I'd just like to toss out a rough outline of ideals I have considered for choosing where I'd hide out. 1.) Defense. Is it easily defensible? What, if any, are the weak points? Is it a sound enough structure? 2.) Availability of supplies. Once there, can I stay there? 3.) Proximity to where I am. 4.) Any possible impact of post hysteria looting by the living.

All these factors being taken into consideration, my ideal plays of refuge are Wall-Mart or a Target with a garden section. First off, defense. These buildings are large with few entrances, any service / shipping entrance would more than likely open outward, making any sort of knocking the door in physically harder. Most of these will have roof access inside the building itself should I ever have to retreat to my last stand position. Apart from the initial looting I anticipate, a lot of supplies would be left behind. Any camping gear, basic tools, all the shelving / furniture available, water purification, buckets to act as rain catches, patio shades, planting soil, fertilizer, potential fruit / vegetable seeds. There is the issue of the main customer entrances, often made of large plexiglass sliding doors. But also with those sliding doors comes what I will refer to as a "buffer" zone. Most Target's / Wall-Marts in the area have 2 sets of sliding doors with a small little room in between them. This room can be filled with shopping carts, excess furniture / shelving, isle shelving or anything else that would be wasted space making it extremly hard for the living dead to penetrate. On top of that, one can board up the two sets of sliding doors with shelving and then cover that with bed sheets / shower curtains / window curtains to block any light coming in or out. This is paramount to remaining here indefinately. Even the best defenses can be overwhelmed by sheer numbers. Doing your best to avoid detection by the living dead is your best defense when in a seige-type situation.

But, I am getting ahead of myself. Those sort of forifications can only be done once you are sure the building you have selected is clean. This is where having a group of people with you can help. A thorough sweep of the building must be made. Every isle, bathroom stall, manager office, employee breakroom, and food court stand must be cleared to ensure that you truely are safe. If it can be avoided, never go anywhere alone. Keep in a tight group, with whatever weapons you can assemble on hand. Once you are positive the building is clean, do your best to dispatch any living dead probably now gathering at the entrance of the store. If their numbers are too great, do your best to fill in the buffer zone and seal off the inner set of doors to prevent any more zombies from detecting you.

Once the most vulnerable door is sealed off, take the time too check all the other doors in the building. Any interior doors can also be used as makeshift barracades for any outter doors that appear weak or that are damaged. Take inventory of anything you may have. Fire surpresants, buckets, tools, bedding, clothing, non-perishable food, perishable food, luxury items, etc. Be sure to consume or disguard any perishable materials first. Utilize the roof access to dispose of any unwanted materials by dumping them off the side of the building. Be sure to use a side of the building far away from any entrances that may have to be used in the event of a security breach or fire. This side of the building will also have to be your latrine. Any waste that can be harmful must be kept out of your building if at all possible.

Once you have taken stock, begin to orginize your supplies. Wherever your roof access is should be your primary supply storage. In the event of a breach, this is your final fall back position before evacuating to the roof. Throughout the store build a couple makeshift barracades with a funnel point that can be blocked off. Use any extra shelving / furniture for this purpose. These barracades don't have to be impregnable, they just have to slow the advance of the living dead long enough for you to make your escape to the roof. A good example would be making a small retaining wall about 3 - 4 feet high with a break in it that can be blocked off by another section of shelving or an unused door. Be sure to keep a supply of water, water catches, sun shades, sun screen, emergency bedding, medical supplies, etc. on the roof. In the chaos of an evacuation, you don't want to be worrying about grabbing supplies and climbing a ladder.

Also, utilize the rooftop to try and grow a few sustainable foods. This is where Wall-Mart has Target beat. Many Wall-Marts have a fresh produce section of the store. Not all fruits / vegetables will be able to be germinated, but a small portion might be ripe enough to grow more food. A supply of excess fertilizer, Q-tips (for polinating any flowers should there be no bees), potting soil, planters, etc. should be kept on the roof as well. Anything that can be used to signal a passing helecopter or military unit should be readily available as well. Even just a string of bedsheets tied to the side of the building indicating your presence would be good. Zombies can't read, who cares. If you have a group of people with you, shifts of watching for any possible rescue should be set up.

I have much more to this plan, but it's getting late and I'm tired. Stay tuned for more survival tips and my plan for an evacuation of the building should the need arise.

Well shit. That makes my plans sound pretty weak. I was just going to score a couple ounces of blow, camp out in a high-rise with a pool, and make a big ass sign that said nothing except a pictogram of breasts in a circle along side a big veiny triumphant bastard with a line drawn through it. Cause zombies don't understand pictographs.

Haha. Jokes on the zombies.

[pabstblueribbon]

You have to read my last post like an old Jack Handey skit or you will die of aids from a lifetime of being sold into the underground market of sex slavery.

This is serious shit.

[Kenn]

This is no laughing matter, sir. I take zombies VERY seriously.

[Rucca]

http://imgur.com/S8r2J.jpg

[iJin]

There might be a fishy aftertaste.

http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/9576/tumblrl6vesoyv6p1qa3az2.gif

[Archigeek]

Shit. I guess you're all dead. My last words to you all, "glrgh!"

[Tea & Strumpets]

Yeah, nothing would suck more than driving around trying to find a parking spot while the Zombie apocalypse is unfolding.

Haha, that was great.

[Kerranger]

There is a house/gun store about 1/4 of a mile up the street, near the grocery store. Its also built remarkably similar to a bunker. It practically screams "occupy me during the zombie apocalypse". So thats my plan. The old man who owns it is too slow to survive, anyway.

[Archigeek]

Seriously though. I'm thinking Costco. Screw Walmart. Costco's are built solid. There are no sissy glass doors on the front of a Costco, (vestibule sure, but who cares). Costco's have good solid roll down steel doors in front, often with steel tube reinforcing inside to prevent drive-thru snatch and grab theft. Hollow metal doors everywhere else but the loading dock doors which are steel vertical lifts. The walls? Typically masonry. The only weak spot is the roof which is made of standing seam metal that's pretty light gauge, but I don't see zombies climbing up on the roof. And roof access is from the inside only, via a mezzanine where you could store your last ditch supplies.

Inside? You could live forever on what's in a Costco, provided you had a water supply. All you'd have to do for water is divert a rain leader and every time it rains you'd have thousands of gallons of water coming off that giant roof. And all the food is on big heavy racks. You could rearrange those racks for fortification, cut some down and weld the doors with solid tube steel reinforcement.

Most importantly, in most states they have a liquor store. Not only do you have booze for life, but you have something to trade should the neighbors who claimed the Home Depot want to drink something better than terpentine. A couple bottles of store brand tequila should get you 2 generators and some fuel. Throw in some triple sec and a few of the 4972 glasses you have, and your nightly date might not be with rosy palm.

And if things get ugly, fire up a fork lift that you've armored and mounted some heavy fire power onto and drive the aisles. Nothing says, "die zombie scum!" like pinning one to the wall with a fork lift before finishing it off with a 12 gauge slug to the cranium.

[Ribbons]

Am I the only one who's willing to basically say 'fuck it' and just go on a zombie murdering rampage?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Costco would get hairy.

Most costcos do carry perishable food. Meat, frozen food, some veggies and such, breads, etc... that stuff goes bad. You'd have to find a way to cook/preserve that stuff or else to dispose of it before it rots and creates a health hazard.

[Kenn]

Not to mention, I forsee those places getting just DESTROYED early on by looters. Those big roll down doors are nice, if someone with a truck and a push bar hasn't already rammed them down to get at the food stuffs. I concidered warehouse shopping, but decided against it because of the difficulty of finding roof access. I actually scouted my local CostCo to look for service ladders. A couple buildings had them on the outsides.

Edit: Just for shit and giggles, who else has read the Zombie Survival Guide / World War Z books? Both awesome zombie books. A newer one, Day by Day Armageddon isn't half bad either.

[Archigeek]

Not to mention, I forsee those places getting just DESTROYED early on by looters. Those big roll down doors are nice, if someone with a truck and a push bar hasn't already rammed them down to get at the food stuffs. I concidered warehouse shopping, but decided against it because of the difficulty of finding roof access. I actually scouted my local CostCo to look for service ladders. A couple buildings had them on the outsides.

Edit: Just for shit and giggles, who else has read the Zombie Survival Guide / World War Z books? Both awesome zombie books. A newer one, Day by Day Armageddon isn't half bad either.

I worked on the design of half the Costco's in the US. A lot of the front doors have 3 welded 2x8 steel tubes cross bracing that front door, or at least they used to. We added those because some crazy Canadians were stealing semi's and driving them into the front doors at night, stealing a few select valuables, (Most notably the cigarette tax stamps, which they put on at the store in Canada. A roll of stamps was like gold.), and fleeing the scene. All they had to do is hit those bars once and we never had that problem again. Though they did try to ram the side of the building. Once. Those crazy Canucks!

I do agree that a lot of people will think of heading that way. Defending such obvious turf from the living will be difficult, even if it is largely masonry and steel. Unless of course there aren't very many living out there at all. Ah the quandries we will face during the zombie apocalypse.

[Methais]

I'm just gonna plug in my XBox and play Dead Rising during the zombie apocalypse.

That'll show em, at least until it RRODs and then I turn around and see Wesker in my face.

[Delias]

Am I the only one who's willing to basically say 'fuck it' and just go on a zombie murdering rampage?

The proper term is "Kill-Crazy Rampage".

[Celephais]

I always hear people saying they're going to hole up in a mall/walmart/big box store, like they'll be able to roll into one with their crew of 7 people all colorfully mismatched, but there is NO WAY these places aren't death traps.

For starters, everyone is planning on doing that, and they won't want to share/trust everyone. Someone is going to be bit in there and "hide it from the others because somehow it won't get to them". Clearing the place is going to be pretty difficult.

The obvious answer is your closest military base. They will have the resources and the discipline to survive a zombie apocalypse, you won't get to have your free reign in a toy store montage, but that's because they'll be taking it seriously.

[Drisco]

See, I live on an island. First sign of zombies in America and I'm blowing up the only way off this island:

http://whatiscivilengineering.csce.ca/images/Structures/Canadian/CB_June97.jpg



Edited:

Oo I feel like I forgot a flaw.. I'm wondering if a zombie could walk across in the winter.

http://ice-glaces.ec.gc.ca/content_contenu/ice_codes/manice/CH2/Imag/CHAPTER2/Photo2.1.jpg

[Archigeek]

I always hear people saying they're going to hole up in a mall/walmart/big box store, like they'll be able to roll into one with their crew of 7 people all colorfully mismatched, but there is NO WAY these places aren't death traps.

For starters, everyone is planning on doing that, and they won't want to share/trust everyone. Someone is going to be bit in there and "hide it from the others because somehow it won't get to them". Clearing the place is going to be pretty difficult.

The obvious answer is your closest military base. They will have the resources and the discipline to survive a zombie apocalypse, you won't get to have your free reign in a toy store montage, but that's because they'll be taking it seriously.

Yeah except it's going to start on the military bases. An innoculation gone bad. All the military guys will be zombified. The phrase "drop and give me 20" will become a catch phrase in the lexicon of the survivors... refering to the slaying of a score of zombie soldiers.

[Clove]

I'd say I have a zombie invasion dream about once a month. Sometimes, I dream lucidly. So over the years a good portion of my "zombie nightmares" have been more like "zombie preparedness drills". I've learned the following:

1) It's all about personal space; therefore weapons that push-back zombies are a priority. Think clubs and shotguns.
2) KISS. Weapons that are so simple a child could use means anyone on your team can use them; especially the children.
3) Use terrain to your advantage. Find a boat (ideally a good, solid sailboat) and get deep water around you. High ground and islands are also good bets.
4) Fortifications are good TEMPORARY shelters, but eventually you'll be overwhelmed. Plan to be mobile. A good tank or APC>your local Target.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Edit: Just for shit and giggles, who else has read the Zombie Survival Guide / World War Z books? Both awesome zombie books. A newer one, Day by Day Armageddon isn't half bad either.

http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/6379/zombies.jpg

The ideal place for me would be a simple, defensible building with only a couple other survivors. We'd have some guns as back-up/emergency weapons but for the most part would use blunt objects (baseball bat, crowbar) since they don't waste ammo and are more silent. Nearby or on site access to water that can be purified to drink. A place that freezes in the winter at least for a couple of months so that the zombies become extremely slow/stop moving until thaw, giving us time to upgrade our building defenses, collect supplies, etc. A couple bicycles to use as transportation (more silent, no need for gas). Some sort of animal with us, a dog or a cat, since they would be an early detection that a zombie is nearby. My other ideal would be to live near enough to a few libraries and/or book stores we could raid for books to read and figure out how to do all the crap you'd have to do to become a fully self-sustained community. Stuff like raising animals would be tricky but water collection systems, growing your own crops, building stuff, etc most people do not have a thorough knowledge in and at least books could help bridge that gap a lot.

[radamanthys]

http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/6379/zombies.jpg

The ideal place for me would be a simple, defensible building with only a couple other survivors. We'd have some guns as back-up/emergency weapons but for the most part would use blunt objects (baseball bat, crowbar) since they don't waste ammo and are more silent. Nearby or on site access to water that can be purified to drink. A place that freezes in the winter at least for a couple of months so that the zombies become extremely slow/stop moving until thaw, giving us time to upgrade our building defenses, collect supplies, etc. A couple bicycles to use as transportation (more silent, no need for gas). Some sort of animal with us, a dog or a cat, since they would be an early detection that a zombie is nearby. My other ideal would be to live near enough to a few libraries and/or book stores we could raid for books to read and figure out how to do all the crap you'd have to do to become a fully self-sustained community. Stuff like raising animals would be tricky but water collection systems, growing your own crops, building stuff, etc most people do not have a thorough knowledge in and at least books could help bridge that gap a lot.

Can I come? I'm the perfect person to join a survival group. I don't need lots of food. I'm really good at hacking stuff together with what seems like not enough parts (irrigation, trebuchet, etc). I've got a high tolerance for pain and abuse, so fear of injury doesn't prevent me from, say, climbing a drainpipe to the roof of a building in order to annihilate the residents and steal their supplies. I've got advanced belts in 3 different martial arts, including Iaido, a sword art (katanas are basically designed to use against zombies, and if I got bitten I could do one bad-ass ritual seppuku). I'm pretty passive, and don't need to argue about petty bullshit. And I could have your babies.

Is it a deal?

[Paradii]

I think a zombie outbreak would be pretty short lived even without military action. Even though zombies are the undead, they obviously need to feed to sustain themselves, cut off the food source and eventually they will wither away. So, the more zombies there are, the less food there is. So as long as you are not in a major city, you should be ok.

If I was going to pick a place, I'd pick Nevada or Alaska. Nevada because its extremely sparse once you get away from Vegas or Reno and there are so many military compounds to align yourself with. Alaska because it is sooo spread out that if you can survive the elements, you are golden.

[Gnome Rage]

I think having access to a helicopter and shit tons of gas would be pretty awesome.

[Kenn]

I've got advanced belts in 3 different martial arts, including Iaido, a sword art (katanas are basically designed to use against zombies, and if I got bitten I could do one bad-ass ritual seppuku).


I'm a shoudan in battodo too, but I feel that carrying a sword (a unitasker) could be cumbersome. That being said though, a part of me would also love to go hack at some zombies for the hell of it.

[AnticorRifling]

http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/6379/zombies.jpg

The ideal place for me would be a simple, defensible building with only a couple other survivors. We'd have some guns as back-up/emergency weapons but for the most part would use blunt objects (baseball bat, crowbar) since they don't waste ammo and are more silent. Nearby or on site access to water that can be purified to drink. A place that freezes in the winter at least for a couple of months so that the zombies become extremely slow/stop moving until thaw, giving us time to upgrade our building defenses, collect supplies, etc. A couple bicycles to use as transportation (more silent, no need for gas). Some sort of animal with us, a dog or a cat, since they would be an early detection that a zombie is nearby. My other ideal would be to live near enough to a few libraries and/or book stores we could raid for books to read and figure out how to do all the crap you'd have to do to become a fully self-sustained community. Stuff like raising animals would be tricky but water collection systems, growing your own crops, building stuff, etc most people do not have a thorough knowledge in and at least books could help bridge that gap a lot.

You just described my house. Also raising livestock, crops, etc. all easy mode. Hello it's Indiana it's required knowledge.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I think having access to a helicopter and shit tons of gas would be pretty awesome.

You'd get a year of use before most of your gas stores would go inert, unless you found a TON of stabilizer to put into it all.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Can I come? I'm the perfect person to join a survival group. I don't need lots of food. I'm really good at hacking stuff together with what seems like not enough parts (irrigation, trebuchet, etc). I've got a high tolerance for pain and abuse, so fear of injury doesn't prevent me from, say, climbing a drainpipe to the roof of a building in order to annihilate the residents and steal their supplies. I've got advanced belts in 3 different martial arts, including Iaido, a sword art (katanas are basically designed to use against zombies, and if I got bitten I could do one bad-ass ritual seppuku). I'm pretty passive, and don't need to argue about petty bullshit. And I could have your babies.

Is it a deal?

Welcome to the compound!

[Gnome Rage]

You'd get a year of use before most of your gas stores would go inert, unless you found a TON of stabilizer to put into it all.

Psh. A year would be plenty to fly me to an abandoned island.

[Clove]

Psh. A year would be plenty to fly me to an abandoned island.I have dibs on GR for my team. Having disposable zombie diversions can be a key survival feature.

[Gnome Rage]

I have dibs on GR for my team. Having disposable zombie diversions can be a key survival feature.

Who you? I'll totally throw you under the bus man.

Women are more important. Guys can produce shit tons of swimmers, ya need a lot of girls ta make babies.

(so we can toss them in the streets as diversions?)

[Methais]

What if you just threw on a set of full plate? You'd be unbitable and could hack and slash zombies all day at your leisure.

[TheEschaton]

Well, human encumberance in full plate is pretty intense. You'd have to empty your backpack, like, constantly.

[radamanthys]

Well, human encumberance in full plate is pretty intense. You'd have to empty your backpack, like, constantly.

rofl.

[Delias]

In all honesty, walking around in a suit of full plate would end up killing you, even provided you had one that was actually made to fit you. Dehydration and exhaustion would be the most likely culprits, I do believe.

[Enitocin]

I have a dozen plus guns in my house, all with a shit ton of ammo.
I'm with Ribbons. Zombie killing rampage. I wouldn't want to have to deal with the cliche zombie movie shit. I'd just go kill stuff.

[Enitocin]

In all honesty, walking around in a suit of full plate would end up killing you, even provided you had one that was actually made to fit you. Dehydration and exhaustion would be the most likely culprits, I do believe.

You'd probably just fall over and not be able to get back up.

[Stanley Burrell]

Who you? I'll totally throw you under the bus man.

Women are more important. Guys can produce shit tons of swimmers, ya need a lot of girls ta make babies.

(so we can toss them in the streets as diversions?)

I dunno. Once a woman is past her prime, she should be the one to be thrown under a bus. Then again, babies are probably easier to throw, weight-wise, to distract zombies than your average post-menopausal women. And plus, guys have the ability to procreate until their last day, even with ED.

And honestly, if it really had to come to ultimate human survival, only guys would be smart enough to create test tube babies or build a human cloning facility.

Why are we throwing people under buses anyway? The whole point is to throw something that's going to flail around and try in vain not to be zombie'd to buy time.

I call dibs on cannibalism.

[Clove]

Who you? I'll totally throw you under the bus man.Naw. If you can't show your nips, you don't have the stones to throw a man under a bus :)

[Archigeek]

I'm with Ribbons. Zombie killing rampage. I wouldn't want to have to deal with the cliche zombie movie shit. I'd just go kill stuff.

Yeah but, isn't the guy who just goes and kills stuff a movie cliche?

[radamanthys]

Yeah but, isn't the guy who just goes and kills stuff a movie cliche?

Naw. I do it most weekends.

[Enitocin]

Yeah but, isn't the guy who just goes and kills stuff a movie cliche?

Not in Zombie movies. It's always the.. 'Shopping Mall!' 'I miss (opposite sex's name)' 'Oh shit I opened the main door looking for (opposite sex's name)' 'Ah fuck sorry guys we got eateded by zombies!'

[Delias]

I say old folks home. You have plenty of people to throw to the zombies and tons of medication to steal. Really this version of my plan involves just getting fucked up as all shit on stolen drugs.

Edit: I'd probably take viagra just to confuse the zombies.

[Kuyuk]

Taking viagra at an old folks home? You fucking the old cripples again?


Bill Murray lols at zombies.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v726/Dobbination/Decorated%20images/bill_murray_cityofember_gk1.jpg

[Stanley Burrell]

The last thing you get when zombies are chasing your ass is blood flow to the penorz. Therefor seeming oddly aroused is an awesome ruse. Remember, the zombies learn to think, or at least blink, eventually, according to DooM.

[Delias]

Taking viagra at an old folks home? You fucking the old cripples again?




as long as they hold still long enough.

[radamanthys]

as long as they hold still long enough.

See, that's the difference between you and me. I like my geriatrics feisty and wiggly.

[Delias]

See, that's the difference between you and me. I like my geriatrics feisty and wiggly.

When they reach a certain age, if they move too much, they will probably end up pooping. Despite any rumors to the contrary, I don't like being pooped on.

[Celephais]

How come nobody has suggested a prison? I imagine they'd be pretty good. Just kill all the inmates and you're good to go, a heavily fortified enclosure, with lots of choke points and 'airlock' gates.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

You'd waste a lot of bullets killing all the prisoners, and I imagine escape routes out of the prison would be pretty limited. Not a terrible idea but not my first choice.

[Celephais]

You'd waste a lot of bullets killing all the prisoners, and I imagine escape routes out of the prison would be pretty limited. Not a terrible idea but not my first choice.

I didn't say shoot the inmates...

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I didn't say shoot the inmates...

What is your mass inmate killing plan?

[TheLastShamurai]

What is your mass inmate killing plan?

Just leave them in the cells.

[Drisco]

How would we feel about a deep basement in a building with the only entrance being a elevator shaft ( For example a Jail basement?)? Have the keys to turn the elevator off and stockpile massive amounts of food and water.

Assuming zombies don't know how to climb they would just fall to the death and wouldn't be able to get in because the elevator itself is blocking the only entrance up.

I feel like we'd need to all agree on what Zombies can and cannot do.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

How would we feel about a deep basement in a building with the only entrance being a elevator shaft ( For example a Jail basement?)? Have the keys to turn the elevator off and stockpile massive amounts of food and water.

Assuming zombies don't know how to climb they would just fall to the death and wouldn't be able to get in because the elevator itself is blocking the only entrance up.

I feel like we'd need to all agree on what Zombies can and cannot do.
THe only thing that kills a zombie is destroying it's brain, unless we're talking rage-virus zombie, in which case a long drop would work.

A deep basement with only one way in and one way out is a bad idea to me though.. you don't have any escape routes, and the lack of sunlight, etc would make long term survival there pretty hard I would think.

[Drisco]

THe only thing that kills a zombie is destroying it's brain, unless we're talking rage-virus zombie, in which case a long drop would work.

A deep basement with only one way in and one way out is a bad idea to me though.. you don't have any escape routes, and the lack of sunlight, etc would make long term survival there pretty hard I would think.


You are right. My next plan.

Alcatraz. Or some island that is viable for farming. Take supplies needed to maintain a small farm (seeds, hoe, chainsaw, watering supplies) (Eating for 2-4), A boat to travel to other main lands and as an escape if something happens to go wrong with the island. Live in a building/farm on the water so you have very close access to boat in case of emergency. Have 10 barrels of stabilized fuel for small farm equipment (chainsaws and such, nothing big) and for the boat. Choose a house with a wood fireplace heating. Preferably pick a island with fresh water for consumption and plants and such, but if that isn't possible you will need to dig holes for natural salt water distilling. Using the boat only for onshore fishing with catching maximum capacity. Evaporate the salt water for sea salt and use them as preservatives for fish so you don't have to travel as much and use gas. Weapons will have to be vast with long range shooting and tons of bullets. If threat does come to your farm/house take the boat offshore a little bit and draw them to ocean and kill while slowly moving away. Keep doing this until threat is gone. If you become to overwhelmed drive off and return at another time.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Just leave them in the cells.

If they all start yelling/making a lot of noise that would attract a lot of zombies.

[TheLastShamurai]

If they all start yelling/making a lot of noise that would attract a lot of zombies.

Perhaps, but I suppose that depends on where the facility is located. Plus, it's a good way to test your defenses!

[TheEschaton]

Why would you kill the inmates? Those are some badass motherfuckers, and provide a good buffer between you and the zombie hordes. All you have to do is pretend you're a fellow badass who's served time, and that you guys have to fuck these zombies up.

Then, when they all die, you only have the smartest, most lethal and ruthless criminals who've got your back. You get gang tattoos, and suddenly you're a mobile band of zombie destruction.

[Archigeek]

Right now I'm thinking a stand alone fire department.

Fire departments are heavy duty construction and are designed to be little self contained communities, have a tower for your lookout/sniper's nest, back up generators, and come with some heavy duty vehicles. Just cover all windows with metal plate, stock up on ammo, fuel and food and you're good to go. Modify a fire truck to be your weapon of mass destruction/vehicle. I like this.

[Celephais]

Badass mofos are always the first to die. The last thing you want is someone wasting your ammo with their thug aim. Also you're wasting food on them.

You're always better off in smaller groups you can trust, there is no way they wouldn't turn on you the second they got the chance.

I'm surprised I haven't heard your suggestion yet TheE? Tell the zombies that you're there, because startled zombies are dangerous, and then tell the zombies that eating Indian food is worse than eating other people, and if they are adverse to that advice, you simply leave the zombies.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Celephais again.

:(

[Celephais]

You'd waste a lot of bullets killing all the prisoners, and I imagine escape routes out of the prison would be pretty limited. Not a terrible idea but not my first choice.

Escape routes have been brought up a few times, this is something I think we should address.

There are only three reasons I can think of for leaving your defensive position, replenish supplies, relocate to a known better location (some sort of broadcast of an endgame location), or overwhelming zombie swarm.

The replenishing supplies scenario pretty much requires just two exits, because it's the "create a distraction here, go for supplies from there" scenario, and can be accomplished with one exit if you go the smash and grab route.

Relocating is likely a smash and grab scenario as you won't be leaving anyone behind for the distraction, number of exits becomes less relevant.

Overwhelming swarm is the only situation where multiple exits can be useful, but they very quickly loss their value based on preparedness to exit. If you don't have good visibility and try to exit once the swarm has reached your hold out, they're going to be getting around to the other exits fast enough (I'm talking 28 days later zombies, if we're dealing with slow zombies, one exit is fine, just take your time and bash in all the heads one after the other). Even the island approach can quickly be ruined by limited exits (your boats are your exits) if the zombies don't need air and can just walk to your island under water (terrible warning system on an island).

I would contend that high visibility is more important than number of escape routes. If you see a large swarm coming from 2 miles away, you can leave through your one exit and go any direction you need to.

Also I would outfit my hold out with a rocket ship, so if the swarm is coming from every direction, I can just go into space. Fuck you zombies, I'm going to the ISS.

[TheEschaton]

Zombies are animals, and cannot be reasoned with, therefore all statements made by me in re: to how to handle criminals are moot.

I'd probably hole up in Bill Murray's mansion.

[Rinualdo]

Cardio
The Double Tap
Beware of Bathrooms
Wear Seat Belts
No Attachments
The “Skillet”
Travel Light
Get a Kick Ass Partner
With your Bare Hands
Don’t Swing Low
Use Your Foot
Bounty Paper Towels
Shake it Off
Always carry a change of underwear
Bowling Ball
Opportunity Knocks
Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
Limber Up
Break it Up
It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
Avoid Strip Clubs
When in doubt Know your way out
Zipplock
Use your thumbs
Shoot First
A little sun screen never hurt anybody
Incoming!
Double-Knot your Shoes
The Buddy System
Pack your stain stick
Check the back seat
Enjoy the little thing

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Relocating is likely a smash and grab scenario as you won't be leaving anyone behind for the distraction, number of exits becomes less relevant.

I don't think relocation would likely be smash and grab.. I mean I'm sure some would be, but some wouldn't. If you've got a decent fortress but it has some glaring flaws/issues you may scope out another, better suited place and I'd imagine a lot of care and planning would go into transferring whatever you have set up to the new location. Though I imagine that two exits is fine for that, though exit size and ability to secure the exit when you're done using it (i.e. not just a hole in the wall) is a big deal.


Overwhelming swarm is the only situation where multiple exits can be useful, but they very quickly loss their value based on preparedness to exit. If you don't have good visibility and try to exit once the swarm has reached your hold out, they're going to be getting around to the other exits fast enough (I'm talking 28 days later zombies, if we're dealing with slow zombies, one exit is fine, just take your time and bash in all the heads one after the other).
Good point with the fast zombies, but with slow zombies that's assuming that only a couple handfuls of zombies show up. If, say, a chain of 2000 zombies come to you, you're going to be dealing with a lot of exhaustion to even slowly try to brain them one at a time, and all it takes is one lapse of concentration for one of them to bite and infect you. Your exit would have to be sufficiently small enough as well that you can funnel them and deal with them one at a time, if it's say, a huge gate you have no way of preventing them from swarming around on all sides of you.


Even the island approach can quickly be ruined by limited exits (your boats are your exits) if the zombies don't need air and can just walk to your island under water (terrible warning system on an island).

I would contend that high visibility is more important than number of escape routes. If you see a large swarm coming from 2 miles away, you can leave through your one exit and go any direction you need to.

For fast 28 days later zombies, an island would be the best bet. For slow zombies, building a wall slightly inland or choosing a rocky, cliffy, no-beach (or one tiny one) island would be more ideal. The other advantage to the island is if you choose a place with rough surf you'll have extra time to prepare to kill it as it's struggling to get out of the water.

My warning system would be an animal (dog or cat), but that's assuming that animals can sense zombies, and that the zombies being in the water wouldn't interfere with their 1337 zombie sensing abilities.


Also I would outfit my hold out with a rocket ship, so if the swarm is coming from every direction, I can just go into space. Fuck you zombies, I'm going to the ISS.

Make sure you bring the building supplies for the best ball pit ever (zero gravity!)

[IorakeWarhammer]

shattered is all zombies.. THEY'VE INVADED FROM WITHIN!!!!!!!

[Cephalopod]

http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Matt/The-Gentleman-Zombie.png

[Clove]

Nikki and Cele are dead-on about position. You want visibility, controlled entrance and a clear escape. Personally I'm against long-term fortification though. I have a certain steel-hulled sail yacht in mind for my main base. About a score of my closest to crew it and we're good to go. Plenty of living and supply space. Wind-powered with diesel backup. Occasional raids would be necessary for resupplying but I consider that a better trade-off to a fixed position (even a very good one) that could eventually be overwhelmed. Get my yacht out in open water, set up a watch. Move as needed.

A nuclear sub would be my dream; years of power and you can't get much quieter/low-profile. Unfortunately they're a bit too technical to crew (and I'm betting everyone who CAN sail them will be... and won't be taking on guests).

[RichardCranium]

Hopefully it will go down during the biggest PC gathering ever.

[RichardCranium]

By "it" I mean the zombie apocalypse, not Delias.

[Clove]

By "it" I mean the zombie apocalypse, not Delias.Sure. You say that now. But Delias knows what you really meant.

[Rinualdo]

Hopefully it will go down during the biggest PC gathering ever.

I daresay quite a lot of people on the PC violate Rule 1

[RichardCranium]

The force is strong in this one. Bleh.

[Delias]

To fight the zombie, we must understand the zombie. I will be eating your brains later, and I suggest you eat some brains before I get there.

[Stanley Burrell]

Instead of putting tacks on people's chairs, I'd replace them with castrated zombie penises.

Then everyone will be like, "Oh Stanley. You and your zombie wangs! PSHAW."

And ... then I win?

[Delias]

Instead of putting tacks on people's chairs, I'd replace them with castrated zombie penises.

Then everyone will be like, "Oh Stanley. You and your zombie wangs! PSHAW."

And ... then I win?

1. zombie wangs
2. ???
3. profit

[Stanley Burrell]

There shall be much zombie wang.

[Killer Kitten]

I'd take over a Sam's Club. Place is built like a fortress and it's easy to hide your presence there. Lots of food and drugs, tons of books and DVD's and generally near a Wal-Mart where you can stock up on guns and ammo. And pet food because I'm not leaving my babies behind.

Our new shelter will be pretty zombie proof, but I gotta solve the stockage problem first.

[RichardCranium]

Zombie wang is a suprisingly meh look-up. So is horror porn.

[Delias]

I'd take over a Sam's Club. Place is built like a fortress and it's easy to hide your presence there. Lots of food and drugs, tons of books and DVD's and generally near a Wal-Mart where you can stock up on guns and ammo. And pet food because I'm not leaving my babies behind.

Our new shelter will be pretty zombie proof, but I gotta solve the stockage problem first.

Train your nine thousand cats to eat zombie flesh and you'll be set. Killer Kitten Kontainment Force!

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

What if eating zombie flesh turned her cats into zombies?

[Delias]

What if eating zombie flesh turned her cats into zombies?

Could you think of a cooler way for a cat lady to die?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Could you think of a cooler way for a cat lady to die?

A cat stepping on a button that causes a death machine to generate a black hole that envelopes our entire galaxy.

Because, let's be honest, death by black hole is unbeatable on a scale of 1 to awesome.

[Delias]

I think she could lasso them all up and use them to pull a chariot made of bone. A bone chariot pulled by the a hundred zombie-cats... I get chills thinking about it.

[RichardCranium]

A cat stepping on a button that causes a death machine to generate a black hole that envelopes our entire galaxy.

Because, let's be honest, death by black hole is unbeatable on a scale of 1 to awesome.

Interesting. How angry are you, on a scale from 1 to Chris Brown?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Interesting. How angry are you, on a scale from 1 to Chris Brown?

I rate at about Mike Tyson, but honestly it depends.

[RichardCranium]

Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! or Mike Tyson in The Hangover?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! or Mike Tyson in The Hangover?

Mike "I'll fuck you until you love me, faggot!" Tyson

[RichardCranium]

There are so many reasons I love you.

I need a cigarette.

[Celephais]

A cat stepping on a button that causes a death machine to generate a black hole that envelopes our entire galaxy.

Because, let's be honest, death by black hole is unbeatable on a scale of 1 to awesome.

This is really true.... I want to die by black hole. Or at least oriental hole.

[Delias]

This is really true.... I want to die by black hole. Or at least oriental hole.

Please, the correct un-pc term is Celestial.

[Shalla]

Could someone please explain to me what the fascination with zombies lately?

And one thing I've been wondering about.. Chuck Norris.

[Kuyuk]

You're gonna have to bear your breasts for those answers Shalla.

[radamanthys]

Please, the correct un-pc term is Celestial.

How did these comments stay here this long without a Big Lebowski reference?

[radamanthys]

And I'd be the guy to die having sex.

I just couldn't help it. My necrophilia fetish would be going wild.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

This is really true.... I want to die by black hole. Or at least oriental hole.

That's just the tentacle sex monster in you speaking.

[AnticorRifling]

You're gonna have to bear your breasts for those answers Shalla.

While a grizzly attack to the chest would warrant answers it'd be easier to just bare them.

[Clove]

And pet food because I'm not leaving my babies behind.I'm gonna guess a zombie kitten is taking you out on week 5.

[Drisco]

Can you eat zomibes? Like could you cook and eat their meat?

[AnticorRifling]

Leave it to Drisco to bring "eating their meat" into a thread.

[Drisco]

Leave it to Drisco to bring "eating their meat" into a thread.

All beef all the time baby.

[Caiylania]

This thread is fucking awesome. I have nothing awesome to contribute however as I am recovering from two days of horrid sickness that if followed by turning zombie, I promise to test all of your zombie-proof fortifications for you.

If I do not turn zombie, I shall vote for joining Nikki's horde. She sounds like she's got it down.

Might I add that if any of the zombie fighting techniques are going to be offensive... should anyone address whether the damn things sleep/hide in daylight/ever stop scenario?

Cause there are some creative ways to clear out zombie infested areas that way.

[Caiylania]

Sharksuit. If a shark can't bite through it, neither can a zombie.

I vote we start buying these up. I mean, if the shit is coming we must be prepared.

My hotel is so not going to survive the zombie horde. :(

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

This thread is fucking awesome. I have nothing awesome to contribute however as I am recovering from two days of horrid sickness that if followed by turning zombie, I promise to test all of your zombie-proof fortifications for you.

If I do not turn zombie, I shall vote for joining Nikki's horde. She sounds like she's got it down.

Might I add that if any of the zombie fighting techniques are going to be offensive... should anyone address whether the damn things sleep/hide in daylight/ever stop scenario?

Cause there are some creative ways to clear out zombie infested areas that way.

I operate under the assumption that rage-virus 'zombies' are like 28 Days later.. they'll eventually starve and die so it's just a matter of holding out long enough. They don't sleep or do anything but wander around looking for people to attack.

Slow zombies follow the rules from the zombie survival handbook- they're animated dead, they infect by biting, they slowly shamble around and are clumsy and cannot climb, etc, the only way to kill them is to destroy the brain, they don't sleep, they get weaker over time due to body decay, they moan when a human is nearby and the moan alerts other zombies who then come that way, they don't need to breathe, if you try to bite/eat zombie flesh you'll be infected, and animals can sense when they're around.

[Caiylania]

I operate under the assumption that rage-virus 'zombies' are like 28 Days later.. they'll eventually starve and die so it's just a matter of holding out long enough. They don't sleep or do anything but wander around looking for people to attack.

Slow zombies follow the rules from the zombie survival handbook- they're animated dead, they infect by biting, they slowly shamble around and are clumsy and cannot climb, etc, the only way to kill them is to destroy the brain, they don't sleep, they get weaker over time due to body decay, they moan when a human is nearby and the moan alerts other zombies who then come that way, they don't need to breathe, if you try to bite/eat zombie flesh you'll be infected, and animals can sense when they're around.

Do they eat animals or are our furry friends safe from zombie attacks?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Do they eat animals or are our furry friends safe from zombie attacks?

They attack/are attracted to anything living, but only humans can be made into zombies. Other animals simply die and are not reanimated.

[Celephais]

I prefer to prepare for the rage virus 28 days later type, as I think it's more likely to happen than reanimated corpses. That said, prepare for the worst case in both cases.

I assume any zombie fluid will infect you, so you need to take precautions other than just making sure you don't get bit.

I also assume they're fast and will climb over and under obstacles.

I assume they are killable, not the demonic animated type whose limbs will keep attacking you, if they're not obeying laws of nature, we're pretty much toast no matter what. (So things like breathing, and needing to eat .. but I'm also under the impression they will eat anything organic, not just human brains), they will ignore all pain, but I would expect to be able to kill them with enough trauma, not just to the brain, I will "plan" to attack the brain, but not rely on that fact.

I don't think you can "hold out long enough" because someone will screw up and feed them, the amount of time you'll need to hold out is just too long ... things may get calm as the hordes die, but it won't be 100% safe (ala 28 weeks later), I worry about zombies cannibalizing themselves and even dead zombies you've killed for food. You pretty much have to "hold out" until someone finds a cure or some sort of heavily organized sweep team comes through and clears certain verifiable boundried areas.

[Celephais]

They attack/are attracted to anything living, but only humans can be made into zombies. Other animals simply die and are not reanimated.

For the sake of survival, don't rely on that fact... verify. Information will be key to survival, figure out what works and what doesn't... and then verify again. Be prepared for the 'infection' to adapt... as zombie Goldblum says, zombie life finds a way.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

For the sake of survival, don't rely on that fact... verify. Information will be key to survival, figure out what works and what doesn't... and then verify again. Be prepared for the 'infection' to adapt... as zombie Goldblum says, zombie life finds a way.

Should the zombie apocalypse descend upon us IRL I would adjust my plans according to the information I had and would try to always err on the side of caution. Or the most likely scenario, I won't even realize what happens before I am pwned and join the infected masses.

Though one thing I was thinking about, with 28 days later style rage-virus zombies, wouldn't those days of not sleeping kill them eventually? I could have swore I read an article about these people who got some sort of super rare illness and couldn't sleep and they died.

[Leloo]

I asked my mom today what she'll do when the zompocalypse comes... Here answer is as follows.

Go to a store and get some guns and ammo, even though she doesn't know how to fire a gun.
Go to the grocery stores and stock up on food.
Go to a cabin in the woods and hide out there.

I told her shortly that she'd be dead almost immediately especially when she goes into a grocery store and a zombie comes running at her around an aisle. The worst was going into the woods!! What is with parents, don't they know anything about zombies?!

[Clove]

My scenarios (and nightmares) generally assume 28 Days style zombies. I'm with Cele on the wait-them-out scenario which is why I advocate strategies that incorporate mobility. Fixed fortifications fail. There's a reason why we don't build castles anymore and isolationists cults ala Koresh always fall.

You can't even rely on an island permenantly (although they make excellent bases) because some son of a bitch could bring the infection there.

That being said, you will need to hole up and dig in from time to time just realize that you will:

1) Need a clear escape route from your harbor.
2) You will have to use it, eventually.
3) And when you escape, you're gonna need a vehicle to get you to the next harbor.

So I've already said I dig sturdy sailboats, tanks and APCs. What sort of zombie-mobile would you prefer?

[Cephalopod]

We spec'd out our Zombie-mobiles in the Worksheet thread. I stand by my wienermobile.

[Delias]

Now I want to play Dead Reign.

[Celephais]

Should the zombie apocalypse descend upon us IRL I would adjust my plans according to the information I had and would try to always err on the side of caution. Or the most likely scenario, I won't even realize what happens before I am pwned and join the infected masses.

Though one thing I was thinking about, with 28 days later style rage-virus zombies, wouldn't those days of not sleeping kill them eventually? I could have swore I read an article about these people who got some sort of super rare illness and couldn't sleep and they died.
Not sleeping will kill a person, but I'm assuming the virus will augment that in some manner, sleeping allows the brain to replenish certain aspects of the body (chemicals in the brain or resting muscles), my assumption is that they are practically sleep walking, because they are not using their brains for normal activity... kind of like how a Shark doesn't sleep.

[Archigeek]

My scenarios (and nightmares) generally assume 28 Days style zombies. I'm with Cele on the wait-them-out scenario which is why I advocate strategies that incorporate mobility. Fixed fortifications fail. There's a reason why we don't build castles anymore and isolationists cults ala Koresh always fall.

You can't even rely on an island permenantly (although they make excellent bases) because some son of a bitch could bring the infection there.

That being said, you will need to hole up and dig in from time to time just realize that you will:

1) Need a clear escape route from your harbor.
2) You will have to use it, eventually.
3) And when you escape, you're gonna need a vehicle to get you to the next harbor.

So I've already said I dig sturdy sailboats, tanks and APCs. What sort of zombie-mobile would you prefer?

To a certain extent, you have to rely on what you can get to. Since my crew is going to stake out a stand-alone fire department and set up camp there, our zombie-mobile will be a modified fire truck: metal fortification, 50 cal mount where hose mount was, gun slits, remove the stored hoses and replace with stored ammo and food, fill the water tank with.... water.

Also, I kind of disagree with you that fixed positions fail while mobility doesn't. There's a lot more that can go wrong when you're moving, even if you're on your sailboat and don't need a ton of fuel. A storm could toast you for example, or in a land vehicle they could just be too thick, and if you slow to a stop you're screwed. A defendable fixed position with a well thought out escape option is the way to go.

[Celephais]

"The way to go" is subjective, the type of infection you're dealing with and what you legitimately have access to changes this completely.

Some of the things that have been brought up are the ideal fortifications, but finding them unoccupied, occupied but friendly to let you in, uninfested, not ravaged... infact just getting to them.

There is the logistics issue, where are you when the outbreak starts, how heavily hit is your area, how quickly do people go from being bit to being a zombie, what rate are zombies infecting vs eating people, how quickly do you find out about it?

I guess the point I'm trying to say is that all these suggestions are good to hear out, and I also appreciate the constructive critism, it helps me form a good plan that can adapt, I may find myself able to secure a schooner, sail for a little while while things calm down (Not wanting to stay out at sea long because I'm not an experienced seaman), then find an empty fortification to take up. I'd rather be in a less than perfect fortification and know the weaknesses, than be in a better one and not know where it will fail.

[Clove]

To a certain extent, you have to rely on what you can get to. Since my crew is going to stake out a stand-alone fire department and set up camp there, our zombie-mobile will be a modified fire truck: metal fortification, 50 cal mount where hose mount was, gun slits, remove the stored hoses and replace with stored ammo and food, fill the water tank with.... water.

Also, I kind of disagree with you that fixed positions fail while mobility doesn't. There's a lot more that can go wrong when you're moving, even if you're on your sailboat and don't need a ton of fuel. A storm could toast you for example, or in a land vehicle they could just be too thick, and if you slow to a stop you're screwed. A defendable fixed position with a well thought out escape option is the way to go.It's true that a vehicle would be more vulnerable to extreme weather than a fixed fortress, but I'd like to point out that, that doesn't make fixed positions invulnerable to extreme weather or disaster, either. Aside from hurricanes, tornados and other natural disaster, it's possible the chaos from the zombies could cause some pretty bad area fires, etc (which you can flee better if your protection moves). As for the overwhelming effect you point out for vehicles, fortresses are vulnerable to the same problem. The advantage to a mobile solution is "see a swarm, avoid a swarm" whereas in a fixed position you have to deal with whatever comes to you or abandon your position.

I'm not opposed to using fixed fortifications. I admited that a long-term survival plan would require you to dig in from time to time; however I simply point out that you can't find the "perfect castle" and the best plans incorporate a plan to escape and relocate periodically. Even in the best case scenario you'll still have to leave your fortress from time to time to raid/resupply.

By the way I'm totally digging the fire-station/modded fire-truck. That's got some potential and there's one <mile from my house. I may need to use it as a temporary shelter/rallying point if access to my schooner isn't immediately available.


"The way to go" is subjective, the type of infection you're dealing with and what you legitimately have access to changes this completely.

Some of the things that have been brought up are the ideal fortifications, but finding them unoccupied, occupied but friendly to let you in, uninfested, not ravaged... infact just getting to them.

There is the logistics issue, where are you when the outbreak starts, how heavily hit is your area, how quickly do people go from being bit to being a zombie, what rate are zombies infecting vs eating people, how quickly do you find out about it?

I guess the point I'm trying to say is that all these suggestions are good to hear out, and I also appreciate the constructive critism, it helps me form a good plan that can adapt, I may find myself able to secure a schooner, sail for a little while while things calm down (Not wanting to stay out at sea long because I'm not an experienced seaman), then find an empty fortification to take up. I'd rather be in a less than perfect fortification and know the weaknesses, than be in a better one and not know where it will fail.It's all about flexibility for sure, but you've got to understand the pros, cons and options. This is a good thread. I think a lot of us will make it.

[Archigeek]

Availability is one of the things I like about fire stations: in most cities there's one every square mile or so. That, the heavy duty construction, the tower, sleeping quarters, food storage/cooking facilities. It was the jail idea that made me think of it actually.

The one downside I see, is that if you consider the start of pandemonium, it's likely that a lot of fire units will have been sent out into the city and overwhelmed, so the trucks may have left the station. On the plus side, you've got a plce to park whatever vehicle you show up in?

[Clove]

Availability is one of the things I like about fire stations: in most cities there's one every square mile or so. That, the heavy duty construction, the tower, sleeping quarters, food storage/cooking facilities. It was the jail idea that made me think of it actually.

The one downside I see, is that if you consider the start of pandemonium, it's likely that a lot of fire units will have been sent out into the city and overwhelmed, so the trucks may have left the station. On the plus side, you've got a plce to park whatever vehicle you show up in?It's got a lot of potential; but you're probably right about the fire-trucks being out of the station. You'll just have to keep your eyes open for abandoned ones on the way ;).

The other downside is competition. If it's a good place to survive; there will likely be survivors there already to deal with. A fire station has been added to my short list of options though.

[Leloo]

And as we know, a lot of time survivors during the zombie apocalypse get a tad bit jumpy and territorial.

[Enitocin]

Take a shit ton of xanax/pain pills and blend in with the zombies.

[Caiylania]

They attack/are attracted to anything living, but only humans can be made into zombies. Other animals simply die and are not reanimated.

So why not have awesomely trained attack dogs. They could be like super fast greyhound and border collie (considered the smartest breed- or for cool factor German Shepards which are number three. Poodles are two, but really? Can you see it? ZOMBIE ATTACK POODLES RUN!!!!) mixes trained to warn and defend.

Set traps and the dogs could set them off and get the hell out of dodge so fast the zombies never knew what was coming.

I don't care how undead you are C4 WILL SMITE YOUR BRAINS.

So not attack dogs but uber fast set off trap dogs. Yah.

[Kuyuk]

Awesome almost-zombie proof castles:

http://www.artuvisite.com/images/fortezza_san_leo.jpg


http://www.nl-sco.nl/Calendar%202006_bestanden/image006.jpg
(Link from where I stole photo, because there are other awesome photos on it, not of castles tho http://www.nl-sco.nl/Calendar%202006.htm)


Oh, and dont forget to outfit your castle with this:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_QNRvqXVU5FA/S7x6yTlQIRI/AAAAAAAAAGw/0a70J2fbPp4/s320/Private-property.jpg

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

bamp.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/zombie_how

[Clove]

I like that you can buy the poster.

[iJin]

Just so you all know-- I'll be writing a zombie novel, or a chapter of one for my creative writing class this semester. I think I will put some of you in it. Genius!

[Archigeek]

bamp.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/zombie_how

I love The Oatmeal.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Dear PC:

http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/2505/pczombiepoacalypse.jpg

[Stanley Burrell]

Bwahahaha!

I got terrified for a moment and thought PB was rationing out my supplies.

Emphatic :thumbup:

[Cephalopod]

I can't wait to see SotT's madlib for the day after that dequartering.

Also, this is awesome x 9001.

I'm pretty sure PB would be totally against any form of 'rationing', though. He's no socialist liberal.

Did I mention awesome x 9001?

[Back]

:(

[Kuyuk]

I agree with the above art.

[Celephais]

What is my penguin wearing? Also it's totally awesome.

For a second there I thought Tisket had a zombie penis and her banana was on the penis, then I figured out that it was her other arm. (I just assumed a lot of the zombies had hard-ons that came out of their belly buttons)

... maybe anticor can clear us a path and we can go get those quarters.

[B4Hand]

Can I just hide in the ball pitt Nikki? I am afraid I totally lack any knowledge on how to avoid/kill/survive zombies. Alas..I'd probably become a freaking zombie because of this.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

What is my penguin wearing? Also it's totally awesome.

You're attaching an anti-zombie laser to Charles' head!

[Celephais]

You're attaching an anti-zombie laser to Charles' head!

Oh! Of course!

[iJin]

HAHAHA. Fuck Nikki. I love my goddamn combat boots.

[Sweets]

Whose body is Methais holding? Whose penis is Rojo holding? Is that Sean's children eating him?

I think a ball pit is the safest place to hide. Can I get in too?

[Enitocin]

Fuck that made me want Chipotle.

[Delias]

Nikki, I love you... and I mean, since the world is TOTALLY ENDING RIGHT NOW... you know the rest.

[Drisco]

Tell me are all so fucking excited for the new Zombie show "The Walking Dead"

Trailer: http://www.movieweb.com/tv/TVhRXkhqQE3nlj/season-1-trailer

Can't find a really decent one besides for this one filmed by someone at Comic Con.

[4a6c1]

Dear PC:

http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/2505/pczombiepoacalypse.jpg

Ok that's pretty accurate. In every emergency situation involving zombies I have been trained to direct traffic with a dildo.

True story.

[Archigeek]

It should be no surprise that a zombie thread would come back from the dead. The apocalypse is upon us. God help us:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ6zr6kCPj8&feature=musicchart

PS: I'm sorry.

[Kuyuk]

It should be no surprise that a zombie thread would come back from the dead. The apocalypse is upon us. God help us:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ6zr6kCPj8&feature=musicchart

PS: I'm sorry.


Haha, that video was pretty funny actually.

[Delias]

I returned today to find this thread bumped and me neg-repped for it all over again. The pictures are fucking awesome, I think I'll take this opportunity to save them.

[4a6c1]

tittybaby