/face

[Stanley Burrell]

Question:

How do I actually shave my face so that I don't have leprosy?

And how do I actually make it that combined with the leprosy/razor burn everywhere, that when I am done shaving there are not hair dots everywhere?

P.S. If you shaved like I shaved, you'd have a clean shave for a century.

I was lucky enough to work from home today, so I will have 4 days worth of stubble tomorrow, but that will still have very little impact on my not rocking the radiation exposure look.

Help.

[peam]

You grow a beard.

[Ryvicke]

This is such a can of worms, man. There are so many different schools of thought.

Post your stats--what are you shaving with, we need details.

[Showal]

You grow a beard.


That's what I did. Problem solved.

[AnticorRifling]

Straight razor and cold water. Man up princess.

[WRoss]

Straight razor and cold water. Man up princess.

I actually just shave with a razor and warm water. It hurt like hell for the first few weeks, but after that, no more razor burn or razor bumps.

[AnticorRifling]

I actually just shave with a razor and warm water. It hurt like hell for the first few weeks, but after that, no more razor burn or razor bumps.

Yup.

[Stanley Burrell]

This is such a can of worms, man. There are so many different schools of thought.

Post your stats--what are you shaving with, we need details.

I'm using Mach 3 with the dildo vibrator whatever function. I soap up my face, with soap, then I wash off the soap that I used to soap my face up with. Soap. Then I wipe my face. Then I put on a medium layer of shaving cream. Then I shave my face over the medium layer of shaving cream. I go lightly with the grain at first, then somewhat strongly against it (the grizzain) afterwards. Then I shower. Then I sit around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in my own feces.


You grow a beard.

Beard = unemployment. I can get away with a touch of soul right now. What say you?

[Stanley Burrell]

I actually just shave with a razor and warm water. It hurt like hell for the first few weeks, but after that, no more razor burn or razor bumps.

That's ... Weird. Because when I actually stopped dry shaving and switched over into what I thought was the more conventional shave-mode, that's when my face started asploding.

Huh.

[Archigeek]

Didn't we have this conversation before? Shower first, shower first, shower first! Moisture and heat on your hair causes it to swell up and soften, making it much much easier to shave. This is why you're getting so much razor burn and a lousy shave. Only an idiot shaves before they shower. Don't be one.

Also, I use a gillete fusion. Nice razor and cut the amount of nicks down quite a bit when I switched.

[ElvenFury]

Are you using any kind of aftershave to kill bacteria/repair asploded skin?

[WRoss]

No this isn't lemonparty porn, it's actually a useful method for extending the life of your razor. I wouldn't recommend using the same razor for as long as he says, but it does work to keep that edge sharp.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ADaRIqy0Dc

[Stanley Burrell]

Are you using any kind of aftershave to kill bacteria/repair asploded skin?

Nah, I just hop in the shower and wash over the pulp.

[SHAFT]

I shave in the shower with some barbesol and a quattro. If I cut myself it stops bleeding by the time the shower is done. Never have problems

[ElvenFury]

http://media.dermstore.com/catalog/100117/300x300/1520.jpg

[Stanley Burrell]

Eh.

[AnticorRifling]

Quit shaving against the grain doucher.

[Stanley Burrell]

I'd own a grain doucher.

[peam]

Back East come harvest time Pop'd always run down the way to ol' man Higgins with our pair of draft horses.

Every time he'd come back sayin' how that ol' man was generous as could be, ensuring the food in our bellies by lettin' us use his grain doucher.

[Back]

Don’t go against the grain! Sounds like you are trying to shave your face off. You may look into an electric razor. It takes some time to train your beard (down boy down!) but I have been able to get great results with a wet/dry electric razor.

I recently perfected the silky smooth. Last thing before getting out of the shower... Nutrogena shave cream, Quattro on the cheeks and neck, Panasonic wet/dry electric on the face. And, of course, Club Man aftershave for barbershop freshness.

[Cephalopod]

I recently perfected the silky smooth.

http://www.popsucker.net/images/popsucker/zohan.jpg

[Showal]

Stan, didn't you years ago post a thread about this same topic?

[radamanthys]

I shave in the shower. Barbasol and a Mach 1.0x10²³ It's fantastic.

[Sean of the Thread]

I'm using Mach 3 with the dildo vibrator whatever function. I soap up my face, with soap, then I wash off the soap that I used to soap my face up with. Soap. Then I wipe my face. Then I put on a medium layer of shaving cream. Then I shave my face over the medium layer of shaving cream. I go lightly with the grain at first, then somewhat strongly against it (the grizzain) afterwards. Then I shower. Then I sit around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in my own feces.



Beard = unemployment. I can get away with a touch of soul right now. What say you?


Don't put soap on your face

Shave after a hot shower

Use a good gel cream

shave with the grain never against it.


Anytime I shaved against the grain to achieve the closest shave for inspections I'd get fucked up burn and ingrown hairs.

I'm also sensitive to most soaps so I never put it on my face.

[4a6c1]

I shave in the shower. Barbasol and a Mach 1.0x10²³ It's fantastic.

lol @ sci not

[Fallen]

As others have said, shower, put water on your face, apply SHAVING CREAM (soap, wtf?), shave with retardly expensive disposable razor, apply anti-leprosy (you know AFTERSHAVE) cream/liquid.

That, or get a shaving profile.

[Celephais]

http://i.imgur.com/uJGge.jpg

[Cephalopod]

To reiterate what most have said, I think:

- Wet your face in the shower with warm water, let your facial folicles soak in the luxuriant beads of water.
- Shave immediately after shower, rather than in the shower (since you'll want to rinse with cool water, not hot shower water.) Perhaps Neutrogena Men Sensitive Skin Shave Cream. Perhaps the Gillette Fusion Manual Razor. Perhaps do not use one of the vibrator ones.
- Rinse / pat your face with COOL water.
- Apply Nivea for Men Post Shave Balm.
- Profit.

Do you shave every day? Perhaps you should.

Perhaps you should masturbate in someone else's feces.

Perhaps.

[AnticorRifling]

- Shave immediately after shower, rather than in since you'll want to rinse with cool water, not hot shower water.



I think you just accidently this thread.

[Celephais]

I think you just accidently this thread.

http://i26.tinypic.com/35lf8kk.jpg

[AnticorRifling]

That guy is such a bad ass.

[Parkbandit]

If you get razor bumps, stop using those razors with 4 & 5 blades. What you are doing is shaving off the hair too close, so it's actually beneath the skin. As it grows, some of them curl and get caught under your skin. Use a cheaper razor and go with the way your beard lays.

[Cephalopod]

I think what PB is saying is that this might be more your speed:
http://www.overstockdrugstore.com/product_images/a/047400300712.jpg

[Archigeek]

If you get razor bumps, stop using those razors with 4 & 5 blades. What you are doing is shaving off the hair too close, so it's actually beneath the skin. As it grows, some of them curl and get caught under your skin. Use a cheaper razor and go with the way your beard lays.

The quality of the blades on a gillette fusion for example, is high enough that I have less issues with razor burn with that than I do with a single blade razor. There's a big difference in the quality of the steel.

But yea, don't shave against the grain if you can help it.

[Celephais]

Dip your face in a vat of acid like a real man.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

The problem is you're not using a manly enough product. Allie Brosh has come up with an awesome new product:

The LIGHTSPEED 3000

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S9nwbsVHEdI/AAAAAAAAC2M/5x1XfvQ0cJE/s1600/fakeproducts5.png

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/how-to-make-showering-awesome-again.html

[WRoss]

This razor is better, Nikki


http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5775667601517821634#
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uEnUnC149Y

[Celephais]

http://www.clusterflock.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/cheese-grater.jpg

[TheLastShamurai]

I recommend the Spishak Mach20.

[Stanley Burrell]

Stan, didn't you years ago post a thread about this same topic?

Yes sir.

Everyone just this thread.

[Cephalopod]

So, any progress or are you still raping your face daily?

Also, I'm pretty sure I used this exact same picture in Stan's last shaving thread:
http://zork.net/~nick/shave/predator.jpg

[Celephais]

So, any progress or are you still raping your face daily?

Also, I'm pretty sure I used this exact same picture in Stan's last shaving thread:
http://zork.net/~nick/shave/predator.jpg

Apparently I need to start repping people, because there's been like 7 posts by you lately I've wanted to rep and can't.

I agree, shave til you snap the razor.

[Back]

Picked up the Panasonic Nanotech razor the other day. Works like a charm so far.

http://a1672.g.akamai.net/7/1672/116/20100701/www.ritzcamera.com/graphics/products/e-39/large/EP61104739_bg.jpg

[g++]

Why did they put a razor on that lazer gun?

[4a6c1]

^Away team set phasers to stun. We come in peace.

[Celephais]

Picked up the Panasonic Nanotech razor the other day. Works like a charm so far.

http://a1672.g.akamai.net/7/1672/116/20100701/www.ritzcamera.com/graphics/products/e-39/large/EP61104739_bg.jpg

I'm a lazy fuck when it comes to sharpening electric razors, all the ones I've had work great when I first get them, then they start to suck and I stop using them.

[Back]

Heh, thing does look like a phaser. That had no bering whatsoever on my decision to purchase. It is pretty badass looking though.


I'm a lazy fuck when it comes to sharpening electric razors, all the ones I've had work great when I first get them, then they start to suck and I stop using them.

The last one I had, also Panasonic wet/dry, lasted ten years with one screen and blade change. Then it just died.

[Stanley Burrell]

So, any progress or are you still raping your face daily?

Also, I'm pretty sure I used this exact same picture in Stan's last shaving thread:
http://zork.net/~nick/shave/predator.jpg

Well. I'm still shaving, only with the grain. Still being a bit of a grain doucher and going over the same spots a lot, but with the grain. I'm still showering after shaving, but shaving like half an hour earlier. It seems to be working pretty O.K.

I'm going to buy a face cream, eventually, that someone PM'd me about. Right now, things have sort have been a bitch because I'm putting all sorts different prescriptions of chemicals on my feet. So ... I guess the fact that I don't have what's on my feet on my face means that I shouldn't really complain.

I mean, I'm still going to complain, probably more for good measure, but I'll complain less about something I complain about. I'll probably complain less about complaining less about complaining.

All is well with the cosmos though. Shaving's been mildly better.

Whatever I just typed, I have no recollection of already. Tired. But to answer your original question, I'd own a grain/wheat/oat/barley/etc. doucher.

[m444w]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uEnUnC149Y

And a pre-emptive strike against your next question:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TiJNewpCnY&NR=1

[Back]

Picked up the Panasonic Nanotech razor the other day. Works like a charm so far.

Since that post I have decided that this razor is a pos. Or at least it does not work for me like my last one did.

Anyone recommend a decent wet/dry electric? Also, has or does anyone use a straight razor?

[Warriorbird]

I hate electric razors. They get dull.

Mach 3. Edge shaving gel. Shave downwards first. Second pass/gelling, across the lower area, then up.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Since that post I have decided that this razor is a pos. Or at least it does not work for me like my last one did.

Anyone recommend a decent wet/dry electric? Also, has or does anyone use a straight razor?

1. Slather honey on your face
2. Locate a bear cave and lay down just inside of it, and wait.
3. ?????
4. Profit

[Methais]

Do it just like this and you'll never have any problems again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isrBXeAsW20

[Warriorbird]

http://blog.modernmechanix.com/mags/qf/c/ModernMechanix/1-1935/med_razor.jpg

[Parker]

Personally, I've been using a straight razor and a VERY thin layer of shaving cream for years. I shave against the grain, and don't burn. I do have a steady hand, though. I also shave my head in precisely the same fashion, and it works very well for me.

[AnticorRifling]

Against the grain = wrong.

[Buckwheet]

I use a Merkur 180 Safety Razor with the Feather Blades made in japan.

I have used with great success Creamo Cream shaving cream and then it was recently recommended to me to try Shave Secret from Walmart of all places. I find that the stuff from Walmart works very well, but its more like an oil so it causes the blades to get gummy faster. But the blades are super cheap when bought in decent bulk.

Shave in the shower without issues.

Use several different aftershaves depending on how you want to smell. I use Baxter of California aftershave, C.O. Bigelow witch hazel skin tonic, and Billy Jealously shaved ice.

Good luck!

[Methais]

I use a chainsaw.

[NocturnalRob]

Shaving is for pussies. I just tell my facial hair to trim itself.

[Back]

Personally, I've been using a straight razor and a VERY thin layer of shaving cream for years. I shave against the grain, and don't burn. I do have a steady hand, though. I also shave my head in precisely the same fashion, and it works very well for me.

I'm guessing you have the leather strop and paste... any particular brand of razor? How long do they last?

Seriously thinking about getting a kit if for nothing else the novelty of it.

[Androidpk]

Stan. Just buy yourself one of these bad boys and you won't have to worry about anything else.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb3UobSZl34&feature=related

[Kuyuk]

I use an electric razor.

I shave about once a week or so.

I've used the same razor head for about 5 years. It's dull. I'm cheap, and my facial hair is pretty slow growing, and limited to my neck and goatee area. I only have about three hairs where sideburns should grow.

I do however, need to manscape, and would be open to suggestions regarding not getting said bumps in the sensative areas of my groin joints. Not sure if that's a word, or a place, but where my legs meet my groin, those very thin skinned areas. I cant find a way to get a clean shave there.

So I kind of look like this: http://becomingitalianwordbyword.typepad.com/.a/6a01053707c797970b013486f70eaa970c-320wi (actual photo of me. Yes, I am alabaster white.)

But my crotch looks like this:

http://www.epidemicfun.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/HairyFish_650x496-500x381.jpg

halp? Oh, I still use these: they're awesome.http://images.buzzillions.com/images_products/05/63/women_noxzema_bikini_shaver_3ea_reviews_93491_raw. jpg

[Drunken Durfin]

Shaving cream is for pussies.

Water. Blade. Done.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Kuyuk-

1. Use cuticle scissors or something precise like that to trim everything down as close as possible before hand.

2. Use a new blade every time.

3. Shave at the end of your shower or at least after letting steam/heat build up for a good ten minutes or so to soften your skin and hair and open the follicle up.

4. Lots and lots of shaving cream. Do not scrimp on this- buy something specifically for that area, use liberally.

5. Try to do it in as few passes/swipes possible.. at some points you'll have to go against the grain, these times especially you want to keep to a bare minimum.

6. Afterward, moisturize the area. Baby oil, lotion, even conditioner in a pinch.

If this is all too big of a pain in the ass you can go for the gusto and get waxed.

[Androidpk]

Kuyuk-

1. Use cuticle scissors or something precise like that to trim everything down as close as possible before hand.

2. Use a new blade every time.

3. Shave at the end of your shower or at least after letting steam/heat build up for a good ten minutes or so to soften your skin and hair and open the follicle up.

4. Lots and lots of shaving cream. Do not scrimp on this- buy something specifically for that area, use liberally.

5. Try to do it in as few passes/swipes possible.. at some points you'll have to go against the grain, these times especially you want to keep to a bare minimum.

6. Afterward, moisturize the area. Baby oil, lotion, even conditioner in a pinch.

If this is all too big of a pain in the ass you can go for the gusto and get waxed.

Someone's a pro at this.

[Kuyuk]

Kuyuk-

1. Use cuticle scissors or something precise like that to trim everything down as close as possible before hand.

2. Use a new blade every time.

3. Shave at the end of your shower or at least after letting steam/heat build up for a good ten minutes or so to soften your skin and hair and open the follicle up.

4. Lots and lots of shaving cream. Do not scrimp on this- buy something specifically for that area, use liberally.

5. Try to do it in as few passes/swipes possible.. at some points you'll have to go against the grain, these times especially you want to keep to a bare minimum.

6. Afterward, moisturize the area. Baby oil, lotion, even conditioner in a pinch.

If this is all too big of a pain in the ass you can go for the gusto and get waxed.


yeah, I dont use any shaving cream.. or moisturizers.. and I basically sit in a hot kitchen sweating my balls off all day :(

[Androidpk]

Also. I'm troubled that this thread is about Stan's face and Kuyuk's crotch.

Troubled.

Not surprised though.

[4a6c1]

Sooooo you have a sea creature on your crotch.....

A/S/L?!?!

[Kuyuk]

You've already seen, and petted said sea creature.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Someone's a pro at this.

I'm very good at shaving my scrotum, yes it is true.

There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it.

[Ryvicke]

Wait--are guys (that aren't in porn) doing the full shorn now? I thought we were just "keeping it neat."

[Cephalopod]

Wait--are guys (that aren't in porn) doing the full shorn now? I thought we were just "keeping it neat."

Aren't you in NYC? Bed bugs, man.

[Celephais]

I like to just keep it neat ... but every now and then I like to feel pretty and treat myself to the full shorn.

(I then later regret it when I go back to neat and it's itchy)

Next time I'm going to give myself a dickstache. Shorn other than a line above.

[Stanley Burrell]

I'm going to give myself a dickstache.

You should go for a Zappa or Fu Manchu.

.