I fucking hate twilight, and its fans.

[Delias]

I'm sitting at work doing paperwork when I come across two things. One is a note asking me to please do someone elses work, and two is a copy of new moon in my cd-rom at my work computer... the only fan in the office also happens to be the one leaving me a note to do her work. So, while you, fat 50 year old bitch that you are, get to watch twilight on my work computer, I am expected to do your paperwork. I think not. I am working on an appropriate way to show my utter disdain and thought you all could help.


On a related note, I sort of want to make a vibrator that sparkles in direct light and has an internal cooling system just so all of these moronic women can masturbate to their fantasy of fucking the corpse of a shiny teenager more quickly and efficiently, and then get back to fucking work.

[Mogonis]

I hate comma splices.

[Delias]

I tend to include too many commas, especially when I am feeling irritated.

[Sam]

fucking english majers

[RichardCranium]

I love twilight. You can walk up to random chicks on the street and be like "team jacob" and get blown on the spot.

[Hips]

On a related note, I sort of want to make a vibrator that sparkles in direct light and has an internal cooling system just so all of these moronic women can masturbate to their fantasy of fucking the corpse of a shiny teenager more quickly and efficiently, and then get back to fucking work.


NSFW: http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=VAMP

[Delias]

Damnation! My idea came too late. Perhaps I shall buy this and put it in the cunt in questions mailbox... on second thought, maybe I will go the cheap route and print the page.

[Methais]

I'm sitting at work doing paperwork when I come across two things. One is a note asking me to please do someone elses work, and two is a copy of new moon in my cd-rom at my work computer... the only fan in the office also happens to be the one leaving me a note to do her work. So, while you, fat 50 year old bitch that you are, get to watch twilight on my work computer, I am expected to do your paperwork. I think not. I am working on an appropriate way to show my utter disdain and thought you all could help.


On a related note, I sort of want to make a vibrator that sparkles in direct light and has an internal cooling system just so all of these moronic women can masturbate to their fantasy of fucking the corpse of a shiny teenager more quickly and efficiently, and then get back to fucking work.

Post this all over the office:
http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2009/7/23/633839569142980630-Twilight.jpg

[Gan]

NSFW: http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=VAMP

The comments/reviews are pretty funny.



05/10/2010
I very much enjoy The Vamp. This is my first and only dildo and so worth it. I use it with my Hello Kitty vibrator for extra fun. Its true it may not sparkle as well as shown but after you try it out, you won't really care. Great price for quality silicone too!

nicholas 05/06/2010
I was very impressed with the quality of this shaft. However, I was very disappointed in the lack of sparkle the item has. I have as much sparkle in mine as this one does :- ]. I opened it thinking they sent the wrong color then I went outside and tried comparing to the video. It was not even close! My neighbors were looking at me kind of funny though!!

Robyn 01/25/2010
What I really wanted was an ice-cold penis in my needy vag, so I put it in the fridge. I put it in the fridge, and it froze to my labia for an hour. Mind you, I came like a geiser, but it was very awkward to explain to my dog.

12/20/2009
This will probably be more successful than when they released the toy story themed dildos. Although the thought of buzz lightyear and woody going balls deep in my anus was pretty appealing

11/21/2009
I'm used to having sex with corpses, but this just makes the experience so much more enjoyable!

Colin 11/01/2009
I've been the proud owner of a Canine-Dildo[tm] since I first saw American Werewolf in London, but when I came across the Vamp I knew my satan prayers had been answered. My fav way of using my Vamps is in a little game I like to call 'Trick or Treat' - my partner blindfolds me and slides in one, two or at a stretch even three of our fantasy themed toys, and depending on the feeling, I let him knw if it was a trick or a treat!!! Happy Hallowfucking! z

10/28/2009
This is highly logical. I ordered four, let's hope they all fit under my snuggie.

[Caiylania]

Post this all over the office:
http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2009/7/23/633839569142980630-Twilight.jpg

I love the books but that is funny as hell.

[Stanley Burrell]

Well, I was gonna bash this series ... but then I remembered:

I took my Argonian to the nearest vampire cave the second I got out of the Imperial Prison. And stood around with the difficulty bar set all the way to carebear while I waited to contract porphyric hemophilia.

Shoot.