Monkey shooting

[Daniel]

Seriously guys. This is a very serious question that we need to answer.

Like do we even know if it's a drunken monkey? What kind of tree is it? is it a willow? Or more like an oak?

Share your thoughts please.

[AnticorRifling]

Does it have a typewriter? Is there a chance it could produce some good plays?!

[Gan]

Is it flinging poo?

[Back]

My buddy Pete suggests we shock it.

[CrystalTears]

Is it spanking it? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNj9UJmAnC4&feature=related)

[Daniel]

Does it have a typewriter? Is there a chance it could produce some good plays?!

Great Question! Would these be original plays or approximations of shakespere?

Also, are we SURE it's a monkey? It could be a baboon. We can't just lump all monkey's into one category.

[g++]

I have found a wealth of research pertaining to this subject. Please check this out and see if it can be applied to our monkey shooting projects.

http://www.theonion.com/video/study-multiple-stab-wounds-may-be-harmful-to-monke,14150/

[Stanley Burrell]

Seriously guys. This is a very serious question that we need to answer.

Like do we even know if it's a drunken monkey? What kind of tree is it? is it a willow? Or more like an oak?

Share your thoughts please.

Bloon's Tower Defense.

[Daniel]

I have found a wealth of research pertaining to this subject. Please check this out and see if it can be applied to our monkey shooting projects.

http://www.theonion.com/video/study-multiple-stab-wounds-may-be-harmful-to-monke,14150/

Wait. Are we stabbing the monkey? I'm not prepared for hand to hand.

[AnticorRifling]

Wait. Are we stabbing the monkey? I'm not prepared for hand to hand.

With all the monkey spanking you do I'd say you're more than ready for some hand to hand monkey defense.

[g++]

With all the monkey spanking you do I'd say you're more than ready for some hand to hand monkey defense.

You keep setting him up hes gonna keep knocking em down lol.

[Daniel]

With all the monkey spanking you do I'd say you're more than ready for some hand to hand monkey defense.

That uses different muscles.

I'm sure you'll be able to carry the group if we're challening the monkey to see who can suck a golf ball through a garden hose faster.

[Celephais]

Does the monkey have a jetpack?

[AnticorRifling]

That uses different muscles.

I'm sure you'll be able to carry the group if we're challening the monkey to see who can suck a golf ball through a garden hose faster. They key is to form a tight seal and then breath thru your nose...wait no fuck you deny deny deny.

[g++]

Do we have to shoot a gun? If the monkey has a jet pack maybe we should use a patriot missile.

[Daniel]

That's a bit much don't you think. Maybe we can get a higher caliber gun. Have we established what kind it is? I have a bb gunsomewhere.

[Daniel]

They key is to form a tight seal and then breath thru your nose...wait no fuck you deny deny deny.

It's okay man. How else was I gonna pay for college??

[AnticorRifling]

I think, even if we assume the largest of primates, we would be safe with anything .30-06 or smaller.

[g++]

I dont know why we are assuming this Monkey is unarmed and wont shoot back. We should also have protection.

[AnticorRifling]

Protection? We're killin it not fuckin it man! Oh you meant like body armor...

[Daniel]

I'll still bring some condoms. Just in case.

Speaking of..where will Sean2 be during this?

[g++]

If we can get the monkey to marry sean maybe we can get it to shoot itself solving this without any of the logistical problems of actually firing a shot.

[AnticorRifling]

Chances are they'd have a few kids first, then it just gets akward.

[Daniel]

Yea, but what about the kids?

[Celephais]

I don't see why we're even bothering to aim... we should just use that metalstorm gun, because monkeys are the most dangerous of prey.

[Daniel]

Maybe the monkey will be in a wheelchair? Is that possible?

[g++]

I dont want to get into that, im afraid the monkey would burn my house down.

[Daniel]

I dont want to get into that, im afraid the monkey would burn my house down.

You raise an interesting point.

Also, does the monkey have any cats?

Do we know where it goes to high school? Maybe we can spread the rumor that it's gay and then it will kill itself.

[Celephais]

Have we thought about what benefits to society this monkey might have been providing? Maybe it's a space monkey. It presses the green button to go right, and is dispensed a banana.

http://img1.sidereel.com/_episodeimage/c6f7.1.5.jpg
(Anyone listen to and/or watch the Ricky Gervais show? That shit is hilarious.)

[Daniel]

What are you a socialist?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I'll still bring some condoms. Just in case.

Speaking of..where will Sean2 be during this?

Does the monkey have a disabled, married friend (with questionable bladder control) in a wheelchair?

[Cephalopod]

AFRICAN OR EUROPEAN!?

EDIT: Or sea? Sea monkey knife fights are brutal.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_YUWsB-dKD3c/STrHJT5B0PI/AAAAAAAAAu4/oAw6wOlHqwM/s400/sea_monkey_knife_fight.jpg

[4a6c1]

http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s301/scovio/mandrill-baboon.jpg

[radamanthys]

All I know is that they better take their stinking paws off me... damned dirty apes.

http://weblogs.cltv.com/entertainment/tv/metromix/heston.jpg

[waywardgs]

What about the monkey's politics? Is it socialist? If so it might require special ammunition.

[Celephais]

I dont know why we are assuming this Monkey is unarmed and wont shoot back. We should also have protection.

http://www.wolfgnards.com/media/blogs/photos/miscellaneous/monkey-shooting.jpg

[Cephalopod]

What about the monkey's politics? Is it socialist? If so it might require special ammunition.

It could be a pacifist, in which case the monkey will calmly sit off to the side while his house gets robbed.

[CrystalTears]

This is the best thread I've read all week.

[AnticorRifling]

There is so much awesome in this thread.

[Clove]

If you don't shoot the monkey, is there a chance it will rip someone's face off? What are the stakes here?

[AnticorRifling]

AFRICAN OR EUROPEAN!?



I'm not answering this because I know you just want me to say swallow for future black mail.

[EasternBrand]

We should go back in time and hunt down the original AIDS monkey.

[AnticorRifling]

But then what would we do with all those red ribbons?

[g++]

Strangle more monkeys imo

[Cephalopod]

There are always other causes to champion.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v334/mudshark66/DMOTIV8/obesity-awareness-ribbon.jpg

[Celephais]

But then what would we do with all those red ribbons?

Rocktar awareness?

[TheEschaton]

IS it a retarded chimp? Cause I hear those things have the strength of like, 100 men.

[Celephais]

IS it a retarded chimp? Cause I hear those things have the strength of like, 100 men.

Is it claiming to be a physicist?

[ElvenFury]

IS it a retarded chimp? Cause I hear those things have the strength of like, 100 men.
http://i916.photobucket.com/albums/ad9/ElvenFuryPC/potatochimp.jpg

Too bad they can't count to 100.

[Daniel]

IS it a retarded chimp? Cause I hear those things have the strength of like, 100 men.

That's not nice. The proper name is a special needs chimp.

Also, have we confirmed it's a chimp? I thought we agreed on monkey?

[Celephais]

Also, have we confirmed it's a chimp? I thought we agreed on monkey?

Why isn't this a poll!

[Daniel]

I was hoping this could become more of discussion topic for all our primate shooting discussions. Like I need to prepare myself for the possibility of shooting a monkey, but then maybe a chimp comes along? What do I do?

Maybe we can create a folder.

[Celephais]

I was hoping this could become more of discussion topic for all our primate shooting discussions. Like I need to prepare myself for the possibility of shooting a monkey, but then maybe a chimp comes along? What do I do?

Maybe we can create a folder.

Or a whole new forum. forum.monkeyshooters.com ... the domain is available.

[Daniel]

I don't know if I want to restart my post count.

My penis size is directly proportional to it.

[AnticorRifling]

I don't know if I want to restart my post count.

My penis size is directly proportional to it. You are clearly half white then.

[ElvenFury]

You are clearly half white then.
Then what's that make Celephais, King Kong?

[Celephais]

Then what's that make Celephais, King Kong?

I had an implant.

[radamanthys]

I had an implant.

The King Kong Replacement Dong?

[Tsa`ah]

What if the monkey has back up? If it's a communal monkey, you're probably looking at ass rape from many a monkey at some point. Anitcor is probably your guy at this point. Since he's not really concerned about protection.

I also don't think we've considered the economics of the situation. We should probably pay someone who can't compose a post on economics to advise us.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

First I would explain to the monkey that making threats of assrape will get him substantially less trouble and punishment than carrying out actual assrape. Then if he refused to be reasonable I would remove myself from the situation.

[Celephais]

How we considered that we may have to pay repercussions to the monkey's family?

[AnticorRifling]

What if the monkey has back up? If it's a communal monkey, you're probably looking at ass rape from many a monkey at some point. Anitcor is probably your guy at this point. Since he's not really concerned about protection.

I also don't think we've considered the economics of the situation. We should probably pay someone who can't compose a post on economics to advise us.

Son of a bitch.....I got nothin. Our only hope at this point is EF is still stuffing his drawers with a banana.

[AnticorRifling]

How we considered that we may have to pay repercussions to the monkey's family? Like rice krispy treats?

[ElvenFury]

Son of a bitch.....I got nothin. Our only hope at this point is EF is still stuffing his drawers with a banana.
In my defense, I pretty much stuff everything with bananas... wait, what?

[radamanthys]

I speak for the Monkeys Using Frogs For Dick Insertion, Vaginal Entrance Regulation Society. Or, in easier terms, The MUFF DIVERS. We will not stand for this type of heinous action.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NmE-owUvGE

Fucking monkeys gotta stop raping frogs, man.

[Tsa`ah]

Does this aid in the creation of monkey suicide bombers and other forms of monkey terrorism?

[waywardgs]

http://i897.photobucket.com/albums/ac177/waywardgs/MONKEYS.jpg

[Celephais]

I speak for the Monkeys Using Frogs For Dick Insertion, Vaginal Entrance Regulation Society. Or, in easier terms, The MUFF DIVERS. We will not stand for this type of heinous action.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NmE-owUvGE

Fucking monkeys gotta stop raping frogs, man.

My favorite comment .. "You're wet and squishy... you'll do."

[radamanthys]

My favorite comment .. "You're wet and squishy... you'll do."

Monkeys are how HIV started... And apparently Genital Warts, too.

[Tsa`ah]

Monkeys are how HIV started... And apparently Genital Warts, too.

Then it would be MPV, not HPV.

Let's not malign the frogs or monkeys for getting raped. Let's just discuss what it takes to shoot monkeys and the ramifications of said act.

[Clove]

In my defense, I pretty much stuff everything with bananas... wait, what?That's what she said.

[ElvenFury]

Then it would be MPV, not HPV.

Let's not malign the frogs or monkeys for getting raped. Let's just discuss what it takes to shoot monkeys and the ramifications of said act.
Yeah, let's tackle this issue by the book.

1.)Kill monkey
2.)Rape monkey
3.)??
Profit

[LMingrone]

Is it brass? Is it funky?

[4a6c1]

What if the monkey has back up? If it's a communal monkey, you're probably looking at ass rape from many a monkey at some point. Anitcor is probably your guy at this point. Since he's not really concerned about protection.

I also don't think we've considered the economics of the situation. We should probably pay someone who can't compose a post on economics to advise us.

I think Rocktar has a degree in all that stuff. Whisper something into the wind so he can come and help.

[radamanthys]

Then it would be MPV, not HPV.

Let's not malign the frogs or monkeys for getting raped. Let's just discuss what it takes to shoot monkeys and the ramifications of said act.

Wouldn't it be FPV to start with?

[Celephais]

Can we mix him in a cup?

[Tsa`ah]

Wouldn't it be FPV to start with?

That would be "touché" sir, if frogs gave you warts. Enough of this fascination with frog fucking and genital warts. That clearly warrants a separate discussion that can have donkey show and goatse tangents.

More monkey shooting and conspiracy.

[Cephalopod]

Guys. Guys. Let's stop talking about the frogs. It's making me nervous.
http://andymatic.com/images/frog_blender.gif

[ElvenFury]

Guys. Guys. Let's stop talking about the frogs. It's making me nervous.
http://andymatic.com/images/frog_blender.gif
Too late. Chris Hansphibian called, and he'd like you to have a seat.

[Tsa`ah]

In my defense, I pretty much stuff everything with bananas... wait, what?

I just caught this.

Wouldn't that be sort of a triple hazard? I mean if you're alone with bananas shoved down your pants, aren't you just inviting monkeys to dinner and date rape?

What if they're smart and sadistic? They know they're going to hungry after ward, so they're just going to rape you first, and then stuff your ass full of banana ... and then dinner time.

I think, though ill advised, you would be better off stuffing your shorts with a monkey's natural predator. I'm not sure how big cats or crocks would like that, but it makes you monkey rape proof.

[Clove]

I think Rocktar has a degree in all that stuff. Whisper something into the wind so he can come and help.We really do need Rocktar's input on this, I mean it was his question after all. And what about the economics of it? Like what will happen if we lower the price of monkeys?

[Celephais]

I just caught this.

Wouldn't that be sort of a triple hazard? I mean if you're alone with bananas shoved down your pants, aren't you just inviting monkeys to dinner and date rape?

What if they're smart and sadistic? They know they're going to hungry after ward, so they're just going to rape you first, and then stuff your ass full of banana ... and then dinner time.

I think, though ill advised, you would be better off stuffing your shorts with a monkey's natural predator. I'm not sure how big cats or crocks would like that, but it makes you monkey rape proof.
That wouldn't be the first time I've shoved a cougar down my pants.

[Tsa`ah]

We really do need Rocktar's input on this, I mean it was his question after all. And what about the economics of it? Like what will happen if we lower the price of monkeys?

Who will be the purveyor of monkey meat? Do we get the Japanese in on this?

[AnticorRifling]

But it would be the first time the cougar was awake.

[Celephais]

But it would be the first time the cougar was awake.

Fair enough.

[ElvenFury]

Who will be the purveyor of monkey meat? Do we get the Japanese in on this?

No way. They're already in cahoots. I wonder if the monkeys have voting power in regards to whale hunting?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvZv0HyK5sw

[Clove]

But it would be the first time the cougar was awake.Or sober.

[Gan]

Can we mix him in a cup?

2 monkeys and a cup?

[Daniel]

Wow. That's gross.

Anyway, do we know if this monkey has ever been to the moon? If not, is it willing to go?

[4a6c1]

2 monkeys and a cup?

QUICK. Somebody make a little jpeg of this that bounces around the screen, defying all attempts at an exit.Also, I demand slow motion tongue action and the Imperial March for ambiance.

yessssss!

[pabstblueribbon]

Allegedly, in the mid 90's Glen Beck raeped that monkey.

[Gan]

http://i695.photobucket.com/albums/vv317/sum1_1977/GIFS/funny_monkey_pee.gif

[4a6c1]

GOD. In 2005 somebody posted a video of a monkey raping another monkey. I'm ashamed to say I laughed. OH! WEEEEZAAAAS!?!?

[pabstblueribbon]

Allegedly, in the mid 90's Glen Beck raeped that monke


GOD. In 2005 somebody posted a video of a monkey raping another monkey. I'm ashamed to say I laughed. OH! WEEEEZAAAAS!?!?

Aha! Evidence!

[4a6c1]

I think we solved Rocktars question. Where do we go for our gold stars?

[pabstblueribbon]

I think we solved Rocktars question. Where do we go for our gold stars?

Walmart. Duh.

Wait, thats smiley faces or some shit. Nevermind.

[Latrinsorm]

and the Imperial March for ambiance.And here I always pictured you walking around with that on loop. Groceries, bar mitzvahs, yoga, singing it aloud at funerals, etc.

[Tsa`ah]

Wow. That's gross.

Anyway, do we know if this monkey has ever been to the moon? If not, is it willing to go?

Did it ever spend time in a daggett costume? If so, I'm sure it's a crafty bastard. A master of disguise.

[4a6c1]

And here I always pictured you walking around with that on loop. Groceries, bar mitzvahs, yoga, singing it aloud at funerals, etc.

Eric I thought you knew me by now. When I walk I strut and street musicians with fros feel compelled to sing "Mmmm, Why dont you take me to, FUNKY TOWWWWN?, Mmm mmm take me to, FUNKY TOWWWN!".

Not joking.