Funny shattered

[Drew]

Post anything funny from Shattered here:

[Drew]

You see Pedobear.
He appears to be a mischievous bear.
He is short and appears to be very young. He has large black eyes and nut brown skin. He has short, shaggy dark brown hair that covers his entire body. He has an ursine face, a round black nose and an excited grin.
He is in good shape.
He is holding a rolton-sized net on a wooden pole in his right hand.
He is wearing nothing special at this time.

[Drew]

A pretty flower girl just arrived.
>
The reddish-orange sprite on Pimp's shoulder plays with his hair.
>
Jayvn makes a quick gesture while calling upon the powers of the elements...
>
A pretty flower girl exclaims, "HE'S AFTER ME!"
>
Jayvn gestures at Ohai.
A silvery luminescence surrounds Ohai.
>
A pretty flower girl just went northwest.

Sihaya giggles.
>
Jayvn just went east.
>
A dwarven recruiter strides in.
>
Wiggles makes a quick gesture while calling upon the powers of the elements...
>
The voice of Pedobear exclaims, "CHASE!"
>
Wiggles gestu

[WRoss]

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GET TO SESAME STREET?

target bent
You are now targeting Bent.

>k bent
Not fitting for one of the healing profession!
Bigbird swings a broadsword at Bent!
AS: +57 vs DS: +85 with AvD: +36 + d100 roll: +5 = +13
A clean miss.
Roundtime: 5 sec.
>
Bert swings a handaxe at Bent!
AS: +57 vs DS: +69 with AvD: +32 + d100 roll: +11 = +31
A clean miss.
>
Cookiemonster swings a longsword at Bent!
AS: +76 vs DS: +54 with AvD: +42 + d100 roll: +57 = +121
... and hits for 7 points of damage!
Deft slash across chest draws blood!
Bent takes a deep breath.
>
Ernie swings a falchion at Bent!
AS: +57 vs DS: +38 with AvD: +37 + d100 roll: +67 = +123
... and hits for 12 points of damage!
Slash to Bent's right leg hits high!
Kinda makes your knees weak, huh?
>
Count swings a broadsword at Bent!
AS: +67 vs DS: +23 with AvD: +36 + d100 roll: +22 = +102
... and hits for 1 point of damage!
Thumped Bent's chest.
>
A rolton tries to bite Jumble!
Jumble easily parries the attack with his broadsword!
>k
...wait 3 seconds.
>k bent
...wait 1 seconds.
>k bent
Not fitting for one of the healing profession!
Bigbird swings a broadsword at Bent!
AS: +57 vs DS: +22 with AvD: +36 + d100 roll: +49 = +120
... and hit for 9 points of damage!
Blow raises a welt on Bent's right arm.
Roundtime: 5 sec.
>
Jumble sighs.
>
Bert swings a handaxe at Bent!
AS: +57 vs DS: +21 with AvD: +32 + d100 roll: +3 = +71
A clean miss.
>
Cookiemonster swings a longsword at Bent!
AS: +76 vs DS: +21 with AvD: +42 + d100 roll: +76 = +173
... and hits for 27 points of damage!
Hesitant slash to Bent's upper right arm!
Just a scratch.

* Bent drops dead at your feet!

The silvery luminescence fades from around Bent.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

>
Speaking to you, Asspounder says, "Bend over."
>

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Pedobear removes a rolton-sized net on a wooden pole from in his large sack.
>
Pedobear glances at Slut.
>
Speaking to Slut, Pedobear says, "Too old."

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

>
Pedobear removes a cherry and apple candy ribbon from in his large sack.
>
Speaking to a pretty flower girl, Pedobear exclaims, "Look what I have for you!"
>
Pedobear taps a cherry and apple candy ribbon, which is in his left hand.
>
Pedobear exclaims, "Delicious! And good for you!"
>
Pedobear drools.

[RichardCranium]

Please please please please roll Chrishansen and fuck with him.

[Baelog]

Why don't you have a seat? What are you doing here?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Name is taken :(

[RichardCranium]

Name is taken :(

First Nikkisaurus and now Chrishansen?! WTMF

[Allereli]

please let Pedobear be the first to cap

[Fallen]

I think it's a GM

[RichardCranium]

GM's don't have senses of humor though...???

[SanGreal]

You see Oscar the Grouch.
He appears to be an Erithian of the Valaka Dai.
He is short and appears to be very young. He has brooding milky white eyes and pale olive skin. He has raggedly cut, shaggy grey-brown hair. He has a haggard face. He has green, furry skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing a large steel trash can, a leather crafter's apron, a crystal amulet, a small cobalt blue belt pouch, a large golden yellow pack, some dark blue square-toed shoes, a pair of gold-threaded leggings, and a brushed blue felt hat.

[Baelog]

Shouldn't Oscar have been a fuckin' Half or full Krolvin, since it's obviously a GM character? Tch

[SanGreal]

not a GM character. Auchand has been giving out alters like crazy

[Drew]

Overcome by the pure evil emanating from the venereal disease, Nostradamus's arms fall slack at her side and her eyes grow wide with an overwhelming look of fear!


Asspounder drops to his knees in utter despair! Overcome by the pure evil emanating from the venereal disease, Asspounder's arms fall slack at his side and his eyes grow wide with an overwhelming look of fear!


Oscar drops to his knees in utter despair! Overcome by the pure evil emanating from the venereal disease, Oscar's arms fall slack at his side and his eyes grow wide with an overwhelming look of fear!

>
A venereal disease just went west.


Also here: Tool, a stunned Fenrus who is kneeling, a stunned Kain who is kneeling, a stunned Erasmus who is kneeling, a stunned Omrii who is sitting, a stunned Dungair who is sitting, a stunned Meldikar who is kneeling, a stunned Vader who is kneeling, a stunned Bud who is kneeling, a stunned Slut who is kneeling, a stunned Nostradamus who is sitting, a stunned Asspounder who is kneeling, the body of Oscar who is lying down

[Drew]

>
Auchand utters a harsh cantrip and flings his hand out, revealing a trio of shining white knives. Auchand lets the knives fly!

One of the knives strikes Erasmus!
... 25 points of damage!
Slash across back of hand, tendons sliced!
He is stunned!

One of the knives strikes Vader!
... 25 points of damage!
Well placed shot pierces knee, that hurt!
He is knocked to the ground!
He is stunned!

One of the knives strikes Bud!
... 25 points of damage!
Slash across back of hand, tendons sliced!
He is stunned!
>

[4a6c1]

You know this is the biggest Gemstone development I have ever seen released so quick and I'm starting to realize why. The GM's are getting to do things they have been wanting to do for DECADES.

[Eoghain]

It's FUN!

[waywardgs]

It's like a giant steam vent, releasing all kinds of pressure.

[Styrbjorn]

Name: Worldofwarcraft Race: Dark Elf Profession: Wizard (not shown)
Gender: Male Age: 0 Expr: 135 Level: 0

[WRoss]

The dark scroll reads, "Bigbird killed the goose."

[Shari]

You know this is the biggest Gemstone development I have ever seen released so quick and I'm starting to realize why. The GM's are getting to do things they have been wanting to do for DECADES.

^this

[Drew]

Cameron put a freaking huge claidhmore of doom and death and evil stuff in his forest green backpack.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I don't have the precise log, but Slut started cybering with Santa in TSC.

Santa decided he needed someone with 'bigger titties' and shoves her off of him. She proceeds to ACT biting his dick.

His response?

Santa says, "Santa loves the color red."

[Drew]

ay.
The light blue glow leaves Erasmus.
Kain is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 59 points of damage!

* Kain drops dead at your feet!

The glowing specks of energy surrounding Kain suddenly shoot off in all directions, then quickly fade away.
Dungair is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 32 points of damage!
... 45 points of damage!
Left leg collapses as the bones turn to dust!
Dungair screams and falls to the ground grasping his mangled left leg!

* Dungair drops dead at your feet!

The silvery luminescence fades from around Dungair.
The glowing specks of energy surrounding Dungair suddenly shoot off in all directions, then quickly fade away.
Someone is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 33 points of damage!
... 45 points of damage!
Strike to temple cracks skull open!

* Someone drops dead at your feet!

The light blue glow leaves Someone.
Vader is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 59 points of damage!

* Vader drops dead at your feet!

Nostradamus is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 30 points of damage!
... 60 points of damage!
Blow to back crushes spinal column.
Talk about no backbone!

* Nostradamus drops dead at your feet!

The light blue glow leaves Nostradamus.
The air calms down around Nostradamus.
The dim aura fades from around Nostradamus.
The powerful look leaves Nostradamus.
Gravetaker is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 114 points of damage!

* Gravetaker drops dead at your feet!

The powerful look leaves Gravetaker.
Philnia is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 59 points of damage!

* Philnia drops dead at your feet!

Spider is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 37 points of damage!
... 60 points of damage!
Blow to chest frees a rib to spear a lung and heart!

* Spider drops dead at your feet!

The powerful look leaves Spider.
The dim aura fades from around Spider.
Myspace is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 101 points of damage!

* Myspace drops dead at your feet!

The pall of silence leaves Myspace.
Jeesus is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 50 points of damage!

* Jeesus drops dead at your feet!

The light blue glow leaves Jeesus.
The dim aura fades from around Jeesus.
The powerful look leaves Jeesus.
A white glow rushes away from Jeesus.
Nikki is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 51 points of damage!

* Nikki drops dead at your feet!

Oscar is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 74 points of damage!

* Oscar drops dead at your feet!

Fenrus is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 88 points of damage!

* Fenrus drops dead at your feet!

The shimmering multicolored sphere fades from around Fenrus.
The glowing specks of energy surrounding Fenrus suddenly shoot off in all directions, then quickly fade away.
The silvery luminescence fades from around Fenrus.
You are brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 49 points of damage!
... 60 points of damage!
Blow to your chest frees rib to spear a lung and heart!
The sprite yawns and wakes up.

It seems you have died, my friend. Although you cannot do anything, you are keenly aware of what is going on around you...

...departing in 16 mins...
Megatronn is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 32 points of damage!
... 50 points of damage!
Blow to head removes skull!

* Megatronn drops dead at your feet!

Omrii is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 64 points of damage!
... 50 points of damage!
Left leg collapses as the bones turn to dust!
Omrii screams and falls to the ground grasping his mangled left leg!

* Omrii drops dead at your feet!

Polyester is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 34 points of damage!
... 60 points of damage!
Strike to abdomen ruptures internal organs!

* Polyester drops dead at your feet!

The glowing specks of energy surrounding Polyester suddenly shoot off in all directions, then quickly fade away.
The silvery luminescence fades from around Polyester.
Starbuck is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 47 points of damage!

* Starbuck drops dead at your feet!

Asspounder is brutally battered by the burning projectiles, taking 61 points of damage!

* Asspounder drops dead at your feet!



A large acorn disintergrates under the merciless barrage!


An arrow disintergrates under the merciless barrage!


Speaking to Nostradamus, you say, "You called this."

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

The ghostly voice of Dirkadirka says, "'Allah! Raise me."
DEAD>
The ghostly voice of Allah says, "I'm Dead."




annnd


The ghostly voice of Erasmus subtly says, "Jeesus, raise yourself."

[Drew]

>l tick
The raffle is for "The winners of this raffle will be promptly killed, on the spot. That is all.".
The tickets sell for 1000 silvers each.
The drawing will be in 6 minutes for 5 winners.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

The wild sound of drumbeats echoes in the recesses of your skull. Maddening swirls of green-golden light accompany the percussion. You squeeze your eyes shut just moments before the drumbeat gives way to deafening silence, and open your eyes to meet changed surroundings.

[The Rift]
The corridor is narrow, difficult for anyone taller than the average human to make their way through. Very little light filters in to illuminate your path. Your feet splash with each footstep, and the floor is slick, made not of stone or soil, or anything else you have likely encountered before. A low pulsing sound fills your ears, rhythmic and oddly familiar.
Also here: Sequined Orange Polyester, Asspounder, Erasmus, Mordechai, Smalrog, Slut, Fenrus, Spider, Hermoine, Matt, Starbuck, Kain, Cartman, Merchant, GameMaster Tiqal, GameMaster Auchand
Obvious exits: north, southeast, west
J>
Erasmus put a dented brass box in his forest green backpack.
J>
Cartman says, "Awesome."

[DoctorUnne]

Ha that is plane 5, can tell from the exits.

[Drew]

Ha that is plane 5, can tell from the exits.

Yeah some Lost Souls showed up and put everyone in sheer fear.

[Drew]

Asspounder tightens his grip on his meaty sausage and glances over at Slut.
>
Nikki says, "I was just thinking that."
>
Nikki says, "If so he needs to get in here so I can properly molest him."
>laugh ass
You laugh at Asspounder!
>
(Slut takes Asspounder's large meaty sausage into her mouth.)
>
Erasmus just went northwest.
>
Harry just arrived.
>
Harry just went northwest.
>
Slut ducks her head.
>
Slut ducks her head.
>
Slut ducks her head.
>
Slut gags.
>
Slut coughs.
>
Asspounder shivers.
>
Asspounder moans.

[Praefection]

You see Cocklover Asspounder Buttfury.
He appears to be a Vaalor Elf.
He is tall and appears to be very young. He has sleepy stormy grey eyes and rosy skin. He has chin length, unruly auburn hair with lighter streaks. He has a gaunt face, a classical nose and tall upswept pointed ears. He has quite a bulge. The only problem is that it's on his backside. Seriously, what is that? A tail?
There is a wispy dark grey sprite with slender wings sitting on his right shoulder, which appears to be fast asleep.
He has some minor cuts and bruises on his left arm.
He is holding a large meaty sausage in his right hand and a short bow in his left hand.
He is wearing a belt quiver, a crystal amulet, a small cobalt blue belt pouch, a large golden yellow pack, some dark blue square-toed shoes, a pair of gold-threaded leggings, a brushed blue felt hat, and some weathered indigo full leathers.


That's the best part.

[Drew]

The tail is great.

[AMUSED1]

I'm wanting for someone to roll up Cuntpunt. Not because you have the character "Cunt", Drew, but just because.

[radamanthys]

Haha, nice.

I forgot how long the fucking raging thrak talks for. He's such a little bitch. At least he doesn't wear ed hardy.

[Allereli]

They should have just kept that test instance open from a couple of years ago

[Fallen]

They should have just kept that test instance open from a couple of years ago

But then they couldn't make more $$$$$$$$$

[Asha]

How are players able to get into rift already?

[TheEschaton]

Erasmus HAS to be Latrinsorm, right?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

How are players able to get into rift already?

The GM took us on a field trip.

[BulletSponge]

First Nikkisaurus and now Chrishansen?! WTMF

Um My bad...I have Chrishansen in prime so I guess that reserves it in Shattered. And I dont play Shattered.


I wonder if I could release the name.

[Drunken Durfin]

The GM took us on a field trip.

The GM interaction so far has been pretty comical.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Um My bad...I have Chrishansen in prime so I guess that reserves it in Shattered. And I dont play Shattered.


I wonder if I could release the name.

This isn't the case.

[Oscar]

You see Oscar the Grouch.
He appears to be an Erithian of the Valaka Dai.
He is short and appears to be very young. He has brooding milky white eyes and pale olive skin. He has raggedly cut, shaggy grey-brown hair. He has a haggard face. He has green, furry skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing a large steel trash can, a leather crafter's apron, a crystal amulet, a small cobalt blue belt pouch, a large golden yellow pack, some dark blue square-toed shoes, a pair of gold-threaded leggings, and a brushed blue felt hat.

Edit - Updated

Name: Novice Oscar
Profession: Grouch
Race: Erithian Gender: Male
He is short and appears to be young.
He has googly eyes and furry green skin.
He has dirty, shaggy hair.

You are holding a broken fourty ounce bottle in your right hand and some sharpened postage stamps in your left hand.
You are wearing a large steel trash can and a plain green rucksack.

I have been trying to debate between an Erithian Vietcong concubine MHO (and just the fact that I love calling people "round-eye" before yelling, "For Chairman Mao" in Erithianese.) But yes, I will try and catch up with the rest of the Sesame Street posse.

The GameMasters have been really cool, so I think I can least make it that my height is rather diminutive and throw in a few other Oscar-looking traits in there too :)

"Fourty ounce" should read as "forty ounce" but that is fine for now.

[Senglent]

I'm not sure who's having more fun, us or the GM's


[Roll result: 140 (open d100: 77)]
Merchant kicks his leg at Pedobear's groin and connects! Pedobear's mouth opens, but all that comes out is a tiny, high-pitched gasp.
...14 damage!

** Merchant's steel-toed boots release a quivering wave of disruption at Pedobear! **

... 15 points of damage!
Strips of flesh flayed from Pedobear's back.
He is stunned!
>
Pizza just arrived.
>
Matt laughs!
>
Pizza just went northwest.
>
Jaeden says, "I wonder if the area outside of the temple can bless a blade."
>
Omrii stands up.
>
Matt says, "Groin disruption."
>
Matt winces.
>
Pedobear says, "Thankfully I wear protection."
>
Pedobear pats his groin.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

>
Speaking to Merchant, Pedobear says, "Power hunting is what I do when school lets out."
>

[Ryvicke]

>
Speaking to Merchant, Pedobear says, "Power hunting is what I do when school lets out."
>

:rofl:

I heard this was Scribes--any confirm?

[Senglent]

Okay maybe not so funny but the GM's are egging it on.


Merchant carefully places a slice of juicy watermelon on the ground.

Nigger gobbles down a big bite of his juicy watermelon.

Nigger gobbles down his juicy watermelon in one enormous bite.

Pedobear just climbed an oak tree.

Nigger slowly empties his lungs.

Pedobear just arrived, skipping merrily

Speaking to Nigger, Sarah says, "Wow. I didn' t know that you people were here, too."

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

You see Nikki.
She appears to be a Human.
She is short and appears to have come of age. She has almond-shaped brown eyes and alabaster skin. She has short, straight chestnut hair with lighter streaks. She has a heart-shaped face, a classical nose and rosy cheeks. She has an impressive bosom, but you somehow doubt they're real.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing a crystal amulet, a reinforced black canvas backpack, a voluptuous purple and blue dinosaur suit with an ample bosom and tiny sleeves, a glistening gown made of glorious bacons, and a pair of square-toed shoes.

[thefarmer]

You see Nikki.
She appears to be a Human.
She is short and appears to have come of age. She has almond-shaped brown eyes and alabaster skin. She has short, straight chestnut hair with lighter streaks. She has a heart-shaped face, a classical nose and rosy cheeks. She has an impressive bosom, but you somehow doubt they're real.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing a crystal amulet, a reinforced black canvas backpack, a voluptuous purple and blue dinosaur suit with an ample bosom and tiny sleeves, a glistening gown made of glorious bacons, and a pair of square-toed shoes.

Bacon-covered Bosoms go Pew Pew!

[Methais]

Pedobear offers you [Goatsecx] a painfully distended anus. Type ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

[Corli]

The winners of the raffle did indeed get killed, however... we were also left with misplaced commas stuck somewhere on our bodies (I have one stuck in my back). I think it was worth it!

[IorakeWarhammer]

You swing a **** at a carrion worm!
AS: +99 vs DS: +17 with AvD: +31 + d100 roll: +58 = +171
... and hit for 69 points of damage!

[You have completed this portion of your Adventurer's Guild task.]
The worm rolls over and dies.
Roundtime: 7 sec.

[Methais]

You see Nikki.
She appears to be a Human.
She is short and appears to have come of age. She has almond-shaped brown eyes and alabaster skin. She has short, straight chestnut hair with lighter streaks. She has a heart-shaped face, a classical nose and rosy cheeks. She has an impressive bosom, but you somehow doubt they're real.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing a crystal amulet, a reinforced black canvas backpack, a voluptuous purple and blue dinosaur suit with an ample bosom and tiny sleeves, a glistening gown made of glorious bacons, and a pair of square-toed shoes.

Get all that altered to this:

You see Nikki.
She appears to be a massive set of tits.

[AnticorRifling]

Make a character named Goatse. Get a customer entrance and exit script so you whistle when you walk.

Goatse saunters into the room accompanied by what sounds like several jugs being played. Hooooooooooooooo

[Methais]

Make a character named Goatse. Get a customer entrance and exit script so you whistle when you walk.

Goatse saunters into the room accompanied by what sounds like several jugs being played. Hooooooooooooooo

Liagala already grabbed the name Goatse. She tried to release it so I could grab it, but apparently her account is "stuck" with the name unless we transferred the character. So I rolled up GOATSECX instead for now.

I did see Lemonparty in the catacombs earlier though.

[IorakeWarhammer]

The teller thumbs through the books and says, "Your balance is currently at 15795 silvers. Is there anything else I can do for you today?"
>go ar

never felt so rich lol

[RichardCranium]

Do you do magic tricks?

[Mogonis]

Your careful inspection of a three-wolf moon shirt allows you to conclude that it is soft leather armor that covers the torso and arms.

This shirt artfully shows three wolves, howling at a full moon. The wearer of this shirt is endowed with the special power of attracting women, fame and silver in large quantities.

[Cheesus]

Your careful inspection of a three-wolf moon shirt allows you to conclude that it is soft leather armor that covers the torso and arms.

This shirt artfully shows three wolves, howling at a full moon. The wearer of this shirt is endowed with the special power of attracting women, fame and silver in large quantities.

http://www.buddysystm.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/house-do-want.jpg

[LMingrone]

Your careful inspection of a three-wolf moon shirt allows you to conclude that it is soft leather armor that covers the torso and arms.

This shirt artfully shows three wolves, howling at a full moon. The wearer of this shirt is endowed with the special power of attracting women, fame and silver in large quantities.

You are awesome.

[Jayvn]

[Wehnimer's, North Ring Rd.]
The cobbled road girds the town along the inner side of the northern palisade. Just to the north stand the twin sentinels of the gate's guardtowers. Guardsmen come and go through the main gates, keeping a close eye on the people of all races who move to and fro. Opposite the gates, you see the shop of Dakris the Furrier. You also see a coked-up Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Also here: Harry

[Mogonis]

>n
[Lower Dragonsclaw, Forest]
Your ears are becoming more attuned to the sounds of the forest surrounding you. Over your footsteps you hear the sounds of small birds overhead, comfortably nested in the sturdy oak trees. You also see a striped gak.
Obvious paths: northeast, south
>appraise gak
The striped gak is large in size and about four feet high in her current state.
The gak would be a pretty even match for you.
>

Holy shit, Godzilla's towering over the North Gate!


[Wehnimer's, Outside Gate]
Citizens, merchants and assorted dregs of society jostle against you before the great wooden gates of Wehnimer's Landing. Harried guards and militiamen try to keep the chaos to a minimum, but it is hard to keep track of those entering, let alone leaving, this large trading post. A dirt path encircling the wooden palisade of the town leads east and southwest. Nailed prominently to the wooden wall beside the gate is a sign you really should read. You also see a Wayside Inn.
Also here: Godzilla
Obvious paths: north, east, southwest, northwest
>chuck
You chuckle.
>
Matt just came through the wooden gates.
>look god
You see Godzilla the King of the Monsters.
He appears to be a Giant Nuclear Dinosaur.
He is taller than a skyscraper and appears to be ancient. He has slitted reptilian yellow eyes and craggy green skin. He has spiky, silvery metallic ridges lining his head instead of hair. He has a monstrous green tail. He has a vast, jagged array of massive silvery dorsal plates lining his back in a wavy triple pattern.
He is in good shape.
He is holding a crushed yellow schoolbus in his right hand.
He is wearing nothing special at this time.
>
Matt casts growled aspersions into mid-air.
>cower god
Godzilla says, "Grawr."
>
You cower away from Godzilla.
>
Sevris just came through the wooden gates.
>
Jayz just came through the wooden gates.
>
Matt exclaims, "Fuck!"
>
Godzilla swings a crushed yellow schoolbus at you!
AS: +1035 vs DS: +94 with AvD: +34 + d100 roll: +2 = +977
... and hits for 467 points of damage!
Amazing slash to your belly!
Nothing quite like that empty feeling inside.

[Fallen]

Godzilla swings a crushed yellow schoolbus at you!
AS: +1035 vs DS: +94 with AvD: +34 + d100 roll: +2 = +977
... and hits for 467 points of damage!
Amazing slash to your belly!
Nothing quite like that empty feeling inside.


Alright. Now THAT shit is funny.

[Mogonis]

I can't believe my DS was 94, actually.

[IorakeWarhammer]

You swing a claidhmore at a rabid squirrel!
AS: +108 vs DS: +41 with AvD: +31 + d100 roll: +11 = +109
... and hit for 46 points of damage!
Brain driven into neck by mammoth downswing!
The rabid squirrel falls back into a heap and dies.
Roundtime: 7 sec.

[LMingrone]

You swing a claidhmore at a rabid squirrel!
AS: +108 vs DS: +41 with AvD: +31 + d100 roll: +11 = +109
... and hit for 46 points of damage!
Brain driven into neck by mammoth downswing!
The rabid squirrel falls back into a heap and dies.
Roundtime: 7 sec.

THAT'S HILARIOUS!!!

Edit: like how you edited it from a relnak to a squirrel.

And you wonder why people bust your balls.

[Fallen]

You swing a claidhmore at a rabid squirrel!
AS: +108 vs DS: +41 with AvD: +31 + d100 roll: +11 = +109
... and hit for 46 points of damage!
Brain driven into neck by mammoth downswing!
The rabid squirrel falls back into a heap and dies.
Roundtime: 7 sec.

WTF did you alter it into a Rabid Squirrel from a Relnak?

[Fallen]

THAT'S HILARIOUS!!!

Edit: like how you edited it from a relnak to a squirrel.

this. odd.

[Methais]

You swing a claidhmore at a rabid squirrel!
AS: +108 vs DS: +41 with AvD: +31 + d100 roll: +11 = +109
... and hit for 46 points of damage!
Brain driven into neck by mammoth downswing!
The rabid squirrel falls back into a heap and dies.
Roundtime: 7 sec.

You're doing it wrong.

[Senglent]

All the scripters getting there asses handed to them with the Mothra/Godzilla/coked-up Dinosuars invasion is pretty damn funny too.

And watch out for some of those Kittens I had one nail me with almost a 300 AS

[Jayvn]

I get an erection every time I see your avatars tongue..

[caelric]

You swing a claidhmore at a rabid squirrel!
AS: +108 vs DS: +41 with AvD: +31 + d100 roll: +11 = +109
... and hit for 46 points of damage!
Brain driven into neck by mammoth downswing!
The rabid squirrel falls back into a heap and dies.
Roundtime: 7 sec.

What are you, retarded?

[LMingrone]

Oh, and where is the Sesame Street crew hanging out? "Can you tell me how to get, how get to Sesame street?"

[Methais]

What are you, retarded?

On topic: rougly what would a half elf wizard's DE and AGI need to be to swing a claid with 5 RT? Thinking I'm gonna go war mage, at least for a while.

[Fallen]

Oh, and where is the Sesame Street crew hanging out? "Can you tell me how to get, how get to Sesame street?"

RR

[caelric]

www.krakiipedia.com Answers to all your questions.

Roughly, though, claid base RT is 8 secs, so you need a 3 sec RT reduction, which is achieved by an agidex mod of 38 or better.

Here (http://www.krakiipedia.org/wiki/AGIDEX) is the KP agidex page, you do the math to figure out exactly what stats you need.

[Xanith]

Why do I have a feeling that Shattered is going to devolve into basically public cybersex, PvP, and script hunting 24/7?

Let the madness begin!

[LMingrone]

I'm pretty sure that's what we all wanted. Normal GS, Plat, and now all out havoc. let's face it. The first two turn into more of a job than entertainment.

And yep yep yep, LET THE MADNESS BEGIN!

Also, a quick question, since I don't read the officials. Is Shattered permanent? It better be if we're paying.

[Fallen]

Yeah. It's not going anywhere.

[Allereli]

Do people think RP will get better in prime with an outlet like Shattered to let out steam/do stupid shit in?

[Jayvn]

You see The Legendary Bloodninja.
He appears to be a Giantman.
He is tall and appears to be very young. He has small pale grey eyes and pasty white skin. He has tonsured, shiny reddish brown hair streaked with silver. He has a pock-marked face, a long nose and bushy sideburns.
He is in good shape.
He is holding a battle axe in his right hand.
He is wearing a robe, a wizard's hat, a crystal amulet, and a quilled deerskin backpack.

[Lumi]

You see The Legendary Bloodninja.
He appears to be a Giantman.
He is tall and appears to be very young. He has small pale grey eyes and pasty white skin. He has tonsured, shiny reddish brown hair streaked with silver. He has a pock-marked face, a long nose and bushy sideburns.
He is in good shape.
He is holding a battle axe in his right hand.
He is wearing a robe, a wizard's hat, a crystal amulet, and a quilled deerskin backpack.

Yeah, I've been waiting to see who would get this one :)

Anyone roll up Britney Spears yet?

[iJin]

I will not sign up. I will not sign up.

[Androidpk]

Do people think RP will get better in prime with an outlet like Shattered to let out steam/do stupid shit in?

Unlikely.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I will not sign up. I will not sign up.

Do it.

I have a bacon gown. Shari has a lettuce bikini.

Make tomato pasties and complete our BLT.

[radamanthys]

Poop suddenly fades into sight beside you.
>
....
Poop says, "THIS WAS A MISTAKE."
>
Poop suddenly fades out of sight.

[IorakeWarhammer]

You lick the crimson psi-blade in your hand.

[nub]

So eh, I forgot what it was like to be level 0, what's that quick thing to do to get to level 1?

[Mogonis]

You are holding a scaled-down crushed yellow schoolbus in your left hand.
You are wearing a strapped smelly dumpster, some massive Sideshow Bob shoes, a Schwartz ring, a redonkulously large watch strung on a massive neckchain, a three-wolf moon shirt, a crystal amulet, a fannypack, a pair of gold-threaded leggings, and a tinfoil hat.

[Kuyuk]

So eh, I forgot what it was like to be level 0, what's that quick thing to do to get to level 1?



suck godzilla's dick outside town gates.

[nub]

suck godzilla's dick outside town gates.

Didn't see him, and I don't remember having to do that. But then again, that night I didn't remember a lot of things.

[SanGreal]

So eh, I forgot what it was like to be level 0, what's that quick thing to do to get to level 1?

;level1 wl

[nub]

;level1 wl

damn me

[Mogonis]

And my staff.

You put a solid fel staff capped with a vultite waraxe head in your smelly dumpster.

[Urinal Poops]

I did see Lemonparty in the catacombs earlier though.

I was all over Lemonparty in two seconds.

[Urinal Poops]

You see The Legendary Bloodninja.
He appears to be a Giantman.
He is tall and appears to be very young. He has small pale grey eyes and pasty white skin. He has tonsured, shiny reddish brown hair streaked with silver. He has a pock-marked face, a long nose and bushy sideburns.
He is in good shape.
He is holding a battle axe in his right hand.
He is wearing a robe, a wizard's hat, a crystal amulet, and a quilled deerskin backpack.

Also me, except I got my weapon!

You swing a rhinoceros horn at a giant ant!

[Fallen]

Thank god for inspect. Are playershops up and running in Shattered?

[Senglent]

Someone has a M1-A1 assualt rifle, I asked him about it I think he said it was a bastard sword? or was that a two-handed sword? either way the GM's are just egging people on to do off the wall alters.

No complaints here some of them are great.

[SanGreal]

Thank god for inspect. Are playershops up and running in Shattered?

the ones from prime whenever they copied the instance are all there and open

(they aren't supposed to be according to Solomon)


Someone has a M1-A1 assualt rifle, I asked him about it I think he said it was a bastard sword? or was that a two-handed sword? either way the GM's are just egging people on to do off the wall alters.

No complaints here some of them are great.

That someone is Jack Bauer

[thefarmer]

I'm disappointed no one's made a light saber.

[Bhaalizmo]

somebody had a light saber. faintly flickering or something like that

[Mogonis]

There's a 'freakin' lightsaber'

[thefarmer]

Ah, ok.

All is well then.

[Senglent]

I'm pretty sure there is a couple lightsabers.

[Methais]

Someone needs to roll up ALQAEDA and run around triggering scale and boomer traps.

[waywardgs]

Someone needs to roll up ALQAEDA and run around triggering scale and boomer traps.

Jack Bauer will stop them.

[Methais]

Jack Bauer will stop them.

Not if Goatse's painfully distended anus has anything to say about it.

[Liagala]

Goatse just arrived.
>
Goatse lets out a cheer!

You say, "I must say, it has been an honor holding your anus."

You bow to Goatse.
>
Goatse grins.

You carefully inspect your distended anus.

You estimate that a painfully distended anus can store a small amount with enough space for several items. (A small amount?!? Methais, I'm disappointed! Get someone to deepen your anus ASAP)

You determine that you could wear the anus, attaching it to your belt. The anus appears to serve some purpose.
>
Goatse says, "I was starting to miss my anus."
>
You say, "I also couldn't help leaving you a special gift inside. I hope you don't mind."
>
Goatse says, "As if there was a big gaping void."
>
You offer your distended anus to Goatse, who has 30 seconds to accept the offer. Click CANCEL to prematurely cancel the offer.
>
Goatse says, "Not at all, people do it all the time."
>
Goatse has accepted your offer and is now holding a painfully distended anus.
>
Goatse says, "Putting things into my anus unexpectedly."
>
Goatse starts chuckling at you!
>
Goatse attaches a painfully distended anus to his belt.
>
Goatse removes a large acorn from in his distended anus.
>
You say, "I can see where that might be a problem."
>
You grin.
>
Goatse grins.
>
Goatse says, "Thanks again for holding my anus."
>
You say, "Anytime."
>
Goatse puckers up and blows a kiss at his distended anus.
>
You say, "Really."
>
You say, "I mean that."
>
You wink at Goatse.
>
Goatse nods to you.
>
Goatse grins.
>
You wave.
>
Goatse says, "My anus is always open for you."
>
Goatse winks.
>
Goatse waves.
>
Goatse just went north.

[Methais]

(A small amount?!? Methais, I'm disappointed! Get someone to deepen your anus ASAP)

After giving me my new anus, Pedobear said "Don't ask me to deepen that either."

:(

[fenrus]

I'm disappointed no one's made a light saber.
>get lightsaber
You suddenly feel completely overwhelmed by the magical properties that the pale blue lightsaber possesses. Fearing for your life, you quickly drop it.
>prep 705
You trace an intricate sign that contorts in the air while forcefully invoking Disintegrate...
Your spell is ready.
>cast lightsaber
You gesture at a glowing pale blue lightsaber.
A dull grey beam snakes out toward a glowing pale blue lightsaber and engulfs it! Instantly, the pale blue lightsaber is reduced to dust.

[fenrus]

That had douchebaggery written all over it. Why didn't you let someone else have it?

Nobody could pick it up. That was kind of the point of it being there in the first place....

[IorakeWarhammer]

can anyone tell me if

Slut
Jaeden
Somebody

are logged in

[fenrus]

can anyone tell me if

Slut
Jaeden
Somebody

are logged in

Slut and Jaeden are

[Parkbandit]

So.. what's the highest level so far? I'd guess that since you can afk script your heart out.. someone's made it to level 20ish.

[IorakeWarhammer]

I think GMs are targetting scripters with invasion type stuff. so I doubt anyone has hit 15.

[SpiffyJr]

I think GMs are targetting scripters with invasion type stuff. so I doubt anyone has hit 15.

I'd be hard pressed to find anyone over 10. I'll be 9 soon and I have a pretty good rep for being able to script low levels. Without help, I seriously doubt anyone is 10... close, maybe, but not there yet. I average 2000 xp/hour as a halfling with maxed logic. It's very hard to get more than that while scripting. With bounties, it's possible, but they're hard to do at this level. So, do the math, from 8-9 is 20k which is 10 hours straight of scripting. This game still takes forever to level in - even if you are scripting. Level 20 is 470,000 xp so that's over 9.6 days at 2,000 xp / hour of scripting. Throw in XXX and a few bounties and you could probably cut that to 8.5-9 days.

[WRoss]

A motherfucking bear-o-dactyl lumbers noisily into the area drooling hungrily!

A mighty roar rises from the throat of a coked-up Tyrannosaurus Rex as he comes darting in!

A coked-up Tyrannosaurus Rex says, "I NEED COOOOOKE."

[WRoss]

>profile bigbird
Name: Bigbird
Race: Giantman Gender: Male
Strongest foe vanquished: a coked-up Tyrannosaurus Rex

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

>
Speaking to Pedobear, Chrishansen says, "Why don't you just have a seat right over there..."
>

[Some Rogue]

PWNT!

Bender says, "01001100010001010100000101010010010011100010000001 01010001001111001000000100001001001001010011100100 00010101001001011001001000000100111001001111010011 1101000010."
>
The runner heads east in a determined manner.
>
Bender stares at Wardildo.
>
Bloodninja says, "I had to ditch the robe."
>
Bender just disappeared.
>

[Mogonis]

Ha.

LEARN TO BINARY NOOB

[Mogonis]

01000010010010010101010001000101001000000100110101 01100100100000010100110100100001001001010011100101 10010010000001001101010001010101010001000001010011 0000100000010000010101001101010011

[Kitsun]

PWNT!

Bender says, "01001100010001010100000101010010010011100010000001 01010001001111001000000100001001001001010011100100 00010101001001011001001000000100111001001111010011 1101000010."
>
The runner heads east in a determined manner.
>
Bender stares at Wardildo.
>
Bloodninja says, "I had to ditch the robe."
>
Bender just disappeared.
>

That is awesome.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

DEAD>
Merchant searches a skittery light vermilion beetle.
A skittery light vermilion beetle crumbles into a fine powder which blows away.
DEAD>
The ground begins to rumble slightly with a disconcerting humming sound, as if something were digging beneath you. Suddenly, several tiny mounds push upward, each revealing a set of pincers emerging from within!

A long-horned blue-black scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A spotted dark sanguine scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A spotted glossy red beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A long-horned dark sanguine beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A spotted deep crimson scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A stubby-legged light vermilion scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A stubby-legged glossy red beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A stubby-legged light vermilion beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A skittery blue-black beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A stubby-legged shadowy black scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A stubby-legged blue-black beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A spotted shadowy black scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
DEAD>
Merchant searches a spotted light vermilion scarab.
A spotted light vermilion scarab crumbles into a fine powder which blows away.
DEAD>
Merchant searches a spotted glossy red beetle.
A spotted glossy red beetle crumbles into a fine powder which blows away.
DEAD>
Merchant searches a long-horned deep crimson beetle.
A long-horned deep crimson beetle crumbles into a fine powder which blows away.
DEAD>
Merchant searches a tiny dark-spiked beetle.
A tiny dark-spiked beetle crumbles into a fine powder which blows away.
DEAD>
Merchant searches a miniscule glossy red scarab.
A miniscule glossy red scarab crumbles into a fine powder which blows away.
DEAD>
Stickyfingers just went east.
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a spotted light vermilion scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A spotted light vermilion scarab clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's left hand!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a long-horned light vermilion scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A long-horned light vermilion scarab clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's right leg!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a tiny glossy red beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A tiny glossy red beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's left leg!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a spotted deep crimson scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A spotted deep crimson scarab clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's left leg!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a skittery deep crimson scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A skittery deep crimson scarab clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's right hand!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a stubby-legged shadowy black scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

Blood jets forth as a stubby-legged shadowy black scarab burrows into Merchant's left leg!
... 30 points of damage!
Great shot penetrates thigh and shatters bone!
He is knocked to the ground!
He is stunned!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a long-horned dark sanguine scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A long-horned dark sanguine scarab clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's right hand!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a tiny dark sanguine scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

>look
A tiny dark sanguine scarab clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's right leg!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a miniscule glossy red beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A miniscule glossy red beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's left hand!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a miniscule blue-black beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

Blood jets forth as a miniscule blue-black beetle burrows into Merchant's left leg!
... 30 points of damage!
Great shot penetrates thigh and shatters bone!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a spotted lustrous sable beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

Blood jets forth as a spotted lustrous sable beetle burrows into Merchant's left hand!
... 20 points of damage!
Shot pierces a wrist!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a skittery dark-spiked scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

Blood jets forth as a skittery dark-spiked scarab burrows into Merchant's left hand!
... 20 points of damage!
Shot pierces a wrist!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a stubby-legged shadowy black scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

Blood jets forth as a stubby-legged shadowy black scarab burrows into Merchant's right leg!
... 20 points of damage!
Strike pierces calf!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a spotted dark-spiked beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

Blood jets forth as a spotted dark-spiked beetle burrows into Merchant's right leg!
... 30 points of damage!
Great shot penetrates thigh and shatters bone!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a skittery glossy red beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A skittery glossy red beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's abdomen!
DEAD>
A stubby-legged glossy red scarab chitters placidly, making no overtly threatening movements.
DEAD>
[Town Square Central]
This is the heart of the main square of Wehnimer's Landing. The impromptu shops of the bazaar are clustered around this central gathering place, where townsfolk, travellers, and adventurers meet to talk, conspire or raise expeditions to the far-flung reaches of Elanith. At the north end, an old well, with moss-covered stones and a craggy roof, is shaded from the moonlight by a strong, robust tree. The oak is tall and straight, and it is apparent that the roots run deep. You also see a spotted shadowy black scarab, a stubby-legged blue-black beetle, a stubby-legged shadowy black scarab, a skittery blue-black beetle, a stubby-legged light vermilion beetle, a stubby-legged glossy red beetle, a stubby-legged light vermilion scarab, a spotted deep crimson scarab, a long-horned dark sanguine beetle, a spotted glossy red beetle, a spotted dark sanguine scarab, a long-horned blue-black scarab, a stubby-legged glossy red scarab, a large acorn, a katar, a large acorn, a large acorn, a large acorn, an herbal remedy donation bin, some stone benches with some stuff on it and a rectangular steel-framed mirror.
Also here: the body of Polyester who is lying down, the body of Delicious Bacons who is lying down, a stunned Artisan Merchant who is lying down, the body of Matt who is lying down, the body of Lloyd who is lying down, the body of Tickle Me Elmo who is lying down, the body of Bhaal who is lying down
Obvious paths: northeast, east, southeast, southwest, west, northwest
There is a sprite sitting on your shoulder.
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a spotted shadowy black scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

Blood jets forth as a spotted shadowy black scarab burrows into Merchant's abdomen!
... 25 points of damage!
Vicious strike punctures intestines!

* Merchant drops dead at your feet!

DEAD>
The ghostly voice of Bhaal asks, "Anything good on em?"
DEAD>
Streamers of golden light wash over Merchant's body.
DEAD>laugh
You laugh, the sepulchral sound echoing through the room.
DEAD>
The ghostly laughter of Bacons echoes through the room, sending a shiver down your spine.
DEAD>
The ghostly voice of Bhaal says, "Ooh."
DEAD>
A skittery glossy red beetle suddenly pulses a bright crimson and drops away from Merchant!
DEAD>
A spotted dark-spiked beetle suddenly erupts out of Merchant's right leg and drops to the ground!
DEAD>
A stubby-legged shadowy black scarab suddenly erupts out of Merchant's right leg and drops to the ground!
DEAD>
A skittery dark-spiked scarab suddenly erupts out of Merchant's left hand and drops to the ground!
DEAD>
A spotted lustrous sable beetle suddenly erupts out of Merchant's left hand and drops to the ground!
DEAD>
A miniscule blue-black beetle suddenly erupts out of Merchant's left leg and drops to the ground!
DEAD>
A miniscule glossy red beetle suddenly pulses a bright crimson and drops away from Merchant!
DEAD>
A tiny dark sanguine scarab suddenly pulses a bright crimson and drops away from Merchant!
DEAD>
A long-horned dark sanguine scarab suddenly pulses a bright crimson and drops away from Merchant!
DEAD>
A stubby-legged shadowy black scarab suddenly erupts out of Merchant's left leg and drops to the ground!
DEAD>
A skittery deep crimson scarab suddenly pulses a bright crimson and drops away from Merchant!
DEAD>
A spotted deep crimson scarab suddenly pulses a bright crimson and drops away from Merchant!
DEAD>
A tiny glossy red beetle suddenly pulses a bright crimson and drops away from Merchant!
DEAD>
A long-horned light vermilion scarab suddenly pulses a bright crimson and drops away from Merchant!
DEAD>
A spotted light vermilion scarab suddenly pulses a bright crimson and drops away from Merchant!
DEAD>
A stubby-legged glossy red scarab chitters placidly, making no overtly threatening movements.
DEAD>
Wisps of golden light erupt from just under the surface of Merchant's skin. His body twitches in warning just once before streams of radiance explode from his limbs, consuming his features. The light dies away, leaving Merchant hale and whole.
DEAD>
The skin suddenly ripples on Merchant's abdomen!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a stubby-legged blue-black beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

Blood jets forth as a stubby-legged blue-black beetle burrows into Merchant's left hand!
... 30 points of damage!
Impressive shot shatters wrist!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a stubby-legged shadowy black scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

Blood jets forth as a stubby-legged shadowy black scarab burrows into Merchant's left hand!
... 30 points of damage!
Impressive shot shatters wrist!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a skittery blue-black beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

Blood jets forth as a skittery blue-black beetle burrows into Merchant's right hand!
... 20 points of damage!
Shot pierces a wrist!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a stubby-legged light vermilion beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A stubby-legged light vermilion beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's right leg!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a stubby-legged glossy red beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A stubby-legged glossy red beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's right leg!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a stubby-legged light vermilion scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A stubby-legged light vermilion scarab clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's right hand!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a spotted deep crimson scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A spotted deep crimson scarab clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's right leg!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a long-horned dark sanguine beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A long-horned dark sanguine beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's right hand!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a spotted glossy red beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A spotted glossy red beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's right hand!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a spotted dark sanguine scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

A spotted dark sanguine scarab clamps its tiny mandibles onto Merchant's right leg!
DEAD>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a long-horned blue-black scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Merchant!

Blood jets forth as a long-horned blue-black scarab burrows into Merchant's right leg!
... 30 points of damage!
Great shot penetrates thigh and shatters bone!
He is knocked to the ground!
DEAD>
Speaking to Merchant, the ghostly voice of Bacons says, "Serves you right."
DEAD>
Tool just arrived.
DEAD>
Tool says, "Oh shit."
DEAD>
The ghostly voice of Bhaal says, "Now who';s gonna help us."
DEAD>
A spotted light vermilion scarab heads northwest.
DEAD>
A tiny glossy red beetle heads west.
DEAD>
A spotted deep crimson scarab walks slowly sideways, lifting each stubby leg in turn.
DEAD>
A skittery deep crimson scarab heads southwest.
DEAD>
A stubby-legged shadowy black scarab turns a slow circle, monitoring its surroundings.
DEAD>
A long-horned dark sanguine scarab heads west.
DEAD>
A spotted lustrous sable beetle heads southeast.
DEAD>
A skittery dark-spiked scarab heads northeast.
DEAD>
A stubby-legged shadowy black scarab heads southwest.
DEAD>
A spotted dark-spiked beetle heads southwest.
DEAD>
A stubby-legged glossy red scarab heads east.
DEAD>'Pwned
You say, "Pwned."
DEAD>
You see a lump moving about just under the skin on Merchant's right leg!
Merchant looks weak with shock and pain!
DEAD>
Merchant gasps in pain and shock as a spotted dark sanguine scarab pulsates, drawing the blood from his body!
DEAD>
Merchant gasps in pain and shock as a spotted glossy red beetle pulsates, drawing the blood from his body!
DEAD>
Merchant gasps in pain and shock as a long-horned dark sanguine beetle pulsates, drawing the blood from his body!
DEAD>
Merchant gasps in pain and shock as a spotted deep crimson scarab pulsates, drawing the blood from his body!

* Merchant drops dead at your feet!

[Drew]

From nearby, you hear Warclaidhm yell, "Where's ARDWEN!?"


>
Warclaidhm gazes up into the sky, his hands gently fellating a beautiful silver coin only he can see.
>

[Oscar]

Warclaidhm gazes up into the sky, his hands gently fellating a beautiful silver coin only he can see.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

You swing a solid cast-iron fryin pan at a thyril!
AS: +29 vs DS: +11 with AvD: +31 + d100 roll: +49 = +98
A clean miss.

Cthulhu exclaims, "Warblgarb! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

>look cthu
You see Cthulhu.
He appears to be a Great Old One.
He is of cyclopean proportions and appears to be ancient. He has luminous eyes and rubbery-looking skin. He has long, groping tentacles covering his face and in place of hair. He is a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head. His body is scaly, with prodigious claws on his hind and fore feet. He has a pair of long, narrow wings.

[Senglent]

Now thats funny to see Merchants scarabs go after him, and getting him twice.

The Pwned comment was the iceing for that one, nice one Nikki.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Now thats funny to see Merchants scarabs go after him, and getting him twice.

The Pwned comment was the iceing for that one, nice one Nikki.

That was actually all I pasted, the scarabs pwned him at least 5 times. I was crying from laughing so hard.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

>
Kaseopea asks, "What the fuck is "slurm"?"
>
Kaseopea says, "Sounds disgusting."
>
Kaseopea wrinkles her nose.

You ask, "Ever watched Futurama?"
>inv
You are wearing a blood-stained unicorn horn, a reinforced shield slung over your shoulder, a voluptuous purple and blue dinosaur suit with an ample bosom and tiny sleeves, a glistening gown made of glorious bacons, some sparkly pink hovershoes, and a 12-pack case of Slurm.
Click INVENTORY HELP for more options.
>
Kaseopea says, "Not really."
>
You say, "Ah."
>
You say, "It's a drink they feature."
>
Katze asks, "How did you manage to get all the stuff?"
>
Kaseopea says, "Oh i see."
>
You say, "I suck GM dick."
>
Katze asks, "GM give it to ya?"
>
Kaseopea laughs!
>
Katze laughs!
>
You say, "Lots of it."

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Whoever is playing Rambo, I award you with 1 internets. Whenever you say anything I literally LOL.

[Shari]

I'm with Nikki.

Also this:

An emo war griffin cuts himself just to watch himself bleed.

Also, see my sig.

I have not laughed this hard in GS in AGES.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

>look Luuk
You see Lord Luukos the Father of Lies.
He appears to be an Arkati of Lornon.
He is tall and appears to be very young. He has reptilian yellow eyes and dark skin. He has fluid, sleek shadow-hued hair. He has a scaly face, a sharp nose and a forked tongue.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing a polished green serpent talisman, some dark brown robes, and some dark brown sandals.
>
Rambo grins.
>
Speaking to Luukos, Flamer exclaims, "Lorminstra's right behind you!"
>
Speaking to Luukos, Cobain says, "You know how to make a fella trip."

[Drew]

Cobain removes a twelve gauge shotgun from in his boarhide pack.
>
Cobain tries to eat his gauge shotgun.
>

* Cobain drops dead at your feet!

>
* Cobain is off to a rough start! He just bit the dust!

[Shari]

DAMNIT DREW.

[Drew]

DAMNIT DREW.

IWIN

Edit: Except for Luukos giving me 120 per disease and killing me.

[Drew]

>look Luuk
You see Lord Luukos the Father of Lies.
He appears to be an Arkati of Lornon.
He is tall and appears to be very young. He has reptilian yellow eyes and dark skin. He has fluid, sleek shadow-hued hair. He has a scaly face, a sharp nose and a forked tongue.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing a polished green serpent talisman, some dark brown robes, and some dark brown sandals.


A shaft of scintillating light suddenly jumps out of the sky and strikes the ground next to you. The beam of light then explodes in a shower of sparks and Luukos is standing in its place.
>
You exclaim, "Dad!!!"
>
Caramon smiles.
>
Luukos hugs you.
>
Luukos winks at you.
>
Luukos points at a rectangular steel-framed mirror.
>
Luukos winks at you.
>
You look at yourself carefully in the steel-framed mirror...

You see Luukos' Son Cartman.
He appears to be a Dwarf.
He is average height and appears to be very young. He has bleary black eyes and olive skin. He has very long, straight auburn hair with grey at the temples. He has a long face, a classical nose and protruding ears.
He is in good shape.
He has a twisted steel prison shank stuck in his chest.
He is holding a cheesy poof in his right hand and a 12 piece KFC bucket in his left hand.
He is wearing a bag of cheesy poofs, a crystal amulet, a pair of fur-lined boots, some shaggy bearskin leggings, a round otter fur cap, and some thick sheepskin-lined leathers.
>
You let out a cheer!
>
You say, "Dad is the best."

[Drew]

Tourettesguy just arrived.
>
Tourettesguy exclaims, "HOLY FUCK!"

[Delias]

You know, I think this thread has convinced me to play. I'm surprised it hasn't just turned into an MA scriptfest yet... Time to work me up a ridiculous character.

[Asha]

A friggin' huge war griffin says, "Dude, stop attacking me."
A friggin' huge war griffin asks, "Srsly, wtf?"

:rofl:

[Shari]

Jackbauer meditates over Father.
Jackbauer takes Father's back damage.
>
Speaking to Jackbauer, Rambo says, "The president says heal the gook killer."
>
Speaking to Jackbauer, you ask, "You're a fucking empath?"
>
Jackbauer meditates over Father.
Jackbauer takes Father's head damage.
>
Speaking raspily to you, Jackbauer says, "I'm trying to save LIVES here."
>
Jackbauer put THERE'S NO TIME in a reinforced black canvas backpack.

[4a6c1]

Jackbauer meditates over Father.
Jackbauer takes Father's back damage.
>
Speaking to Jackbauer, Rambo says, "The president says heal the gook killer."
>
Speaking to Jackbauer, you ask, "You're a fucking empath?"
>
Jackbauer meditates over Father.
Jackbauer takes Father's head damage.
>
Speaking raspily to you, Jackbauer says, "I'm trying to save LIVES here."
>
Jackbauer put THERE'S NO TIME in a reinforced black canvas backpack.

I loled.

[Celephais]

You swing a solid cast-iron fryin pan at a thyril!
AS: +29 vs DS: +11 with AvD: +31 + d100 roll: +49 = +98
A clean miss.

Cthulhu exclaims, "Warblgarb! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

>look cthu
You see Cthulhu.
He appears to be a Great Old One.
He is of cyclopean proportions and appears to be ancient. He has luminous eyes and rubbery-looking skin. He has long, groping tentacles covering his face and in place of hair. He is a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head. His body is scaly, with prodigious claws on his hind and fore feet. He has a pair of long, narrow wings.

My will to play is now lost, this was the only name I wanted.

[waywardgs]

Shattered is like a Halloween party.

[Methais]

Shattered is like a Halloween party.

I think this is the best analogy ever.

[waywardgs]

Speaking to Bro, Goatse says, "Cool story."

[4a6c1]

My will to play is now lost, this was the only name I wanted.

I was a little relieved when I saw Vader was taken. I was like...Meh, dont have time anyways.

[Methais]

I was a little relieved when I saw Vader was taken. I was like...Meh, dont have time anyways.

What about Darthvader though?

Or Trannybondagevader?

[RichardCranium]

Methais do you have Zod yet?

[Methais]

Methais do you have Zod yet?

Nah, you can have it if you want. Goatse and Tourettesguy are plenty enough for me.

I'm surprised I haven't seen Superman yet.

[IorakeWarhammer]

i cant wait to kill goatse with the crit "turns insides to outsides!!!"

will that fix his distended anus? rofl

[Methais]

Goatse's insides are already outsides.

[BriarFox]

The ground begins to rumble slightly with a disconcerting humming sound, as if something were digging beneath you. Suddenly, several tiny mounds push upward, each revealing a set of pincers emerging from within!

A tiny shadowy black beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A stubby-legged glossy red scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A tiny shadowy black beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A stubby-legged glossy red beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A miniscule glossy red scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A long-horned deep crimson scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A tiny dark-spiked beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A tiny deep crimson beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A skittery light vermilion beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A spotted dark-spiked scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A skittery dark sanguine beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A miniscule shadowy black beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A spotted deep crimson beetle bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A long-horned light vermilion scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!
A long-horned shadowy black scarab bursts forth from its mound, chittering and testing the air with its antennae!

[Town Square Central]
This is the heart of the main square of Wehnimer's Landing. The impromptu shops of the bazaar are clustered around this central gathering place, where townsfolk, travellers, and adventurers meet to talk, conspire or raise expeditions to the far-flung reaches of Elanith. At the north end of the space, an old well, with moss-covered stones and a craggy roof, is shaded by a strong, robust tree. The oak is tall and straight, and it is apparent that the roots run deep. You also see a miniscule shadowy black beetle, a skittery dark sanguine beetle, a tiny dark-spiked beetle, a skittery shadowy black beetle, a skittery deep crimson scarab, a skittery glossy red scarab, a tiny lustrous sable scarab, a miniscule shadowy black beetle, a long-horned glossy red scarab, a long-horned blue-black beetle, a spotted light vermilion beetle, a skittery blue-black scarab, a miniscule glossy red beetle, a stubby-legged shadowy black scarab, a spotted deep crimson beetle, a spotted dark-spiked scarab, a stubby-legged dark-spiked beetle, a spotted blue-black scarab, a wooden arrow, a large acorn, a rose-marrow potion, a wooden arrow, a rusty doorknob, a tarnished cup, a large acorn, a giant mound of yellow snow, the Stone, an herbal remedy donation bin, some stone benches with some stuff on it and a rectangular steel-framed mirror.
Also here: the body of Sihaya who is lying down, the body of Imp who is lying down, Leeharvey, the body of Catwoman who is lying down, Rainha, Tool, the body of Pwnstar who is lying down, Matt, a stunned Cervina who is lying down, Afkfapfapfap, a stunned Raju, Father who is lying down
Obvious paths: northeast, east, southeast, southwest, west, northwest

Heh. That was just fucking cruel. I ran like hell.

[WRoss]

[Eoghain]

I CANTS TOP LAUGHIGMGGN HJASHSHSAH




Cobain removes a twelve gauge shotgun from in his boarhide pack.
>
Cobain tries to eat his gauge shotgun.
>

* Cobain drops dead at your feet!

>
* Cobain is off to a rough start! He just bit the dust!

[Eoghain]

HOLY jEESUS I'M CRYING

[WRoss]

>l
[River's Rest, Town Commons]
Fresh green grass, green as the greenest emerald, is soft underfoot and a pleasing foreground for a weathered wooden bench resting in the shade of a graceful willow tree. Birdsong fills the air and intermingles with the voices of folk who stroll through the commons, and on occasion stop to exchange a tale or two with friends they meet along their way. A dusty path to the south and a riverstone walkway to the north are joined by a tall evergreen hedge which borders the edges of the lawn. You also see a spotted dark-spiked scarab, a miniscule dark sanguine beetle, a tiny dark-spiked beetle, a tiny deep crimson scarab, a long-horned dark-spiked scarab, a skittery glossy red beetle, a long-horned dark sanguine scarab, a miniscule shadowy black scarab, a skittery dark-spiked scarab, a tiny light vermilion beetle, a stubby-legged deep crimson beetle, a miniscule blue-black beetle, a tiny shadowy black scarab, a miniscule glossy red beetle, a long-horned glossy red scarab and a large wooden barrel.
Also here: the body of Ohai who is lying down, the body of Count who is lying down, GameMaster Auchand, the body of Bert who is lying down, the body of Ernie who is lying down, the body of Cookiemonster who is lying down
Obvious paths: none
>'so
You say, "So."
>
The ghostly voice of Ohai exclaims, "Don't come up in here with your boiled goose!"
>
Auchand throws his arms wide, and a halo of silvery light spills away from his body!
Silvery light surrounds Ohai, washing away his injuries.
Silvery light surrounds Count, washing away his injuries.
Silvery light washes over Auchand.
Silvery light surrounds Bert, washing away his injuries.
Silvery light surrounds Ernie, washing away his injuries.
Silvery light surrounds Cookiemonster, washing away his injuries.
Silvery light surrounds you, washing away your injuries in a wave of soothing warmth.
>
Auchand shrugs.
>
A spotted dark-spiked scarab notices Ohai botch an attempt at concealing himself.
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a spotted dark-spiked scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Ohai!

Blood jets forth as a spotted dark-spiked scarab burrows into Ohai's left hand!
... 30 points of damage!
Impressive shot shatters wrist!
He is stunned!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a miniscule dark sanguine beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Ohai!

A miniscule dark sanguine beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto Ohai's left hand!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a tiny dark-spiked beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Cookiemonster!

Blood jets forth as a tiny dark-spiked beetle burrows into Cookiemonster's right leg!
... 30 points of damage!
Great shot penetrates thigh and shatters bone!
He is knocked to the ground!
He is stunned!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a tiny deep crimson scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Count!

A tiny deep crimson scarab clamps its tiny mandibles onto Count's left leg!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a long-horned dark-spiked scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Ohai!

Blood jets forth as a long-horned dark-spiked scarab burrows into Ohai's left hand!
... 20 points of damage!
Shot pierces a wrist!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a skittery glossy red beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at you!

all go path
A skittery glossy red beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto your left leg!
>Quicker than the eye can follow, a long-horned dark sanguine scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Bert!

A long-horned dark sanguine scarab clamps its tiny mandibles onto Bert's left leg!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a miniscule shadowy black scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Count!

Blood jets forth as a miniscule shadowy black scarab burrows into Count's left hand!
... 30 points of damage!
Impressive shot shatters wrist!
He is stunned!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a skittery dark-spiked scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Count!

Blood jets forth as a skittery dark-spiked scarab burrows into Count's left hand!
... 30 points of damage!
Impressive shot shatters wrist!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a tiny light vermilion beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at you!

A tiny light vermilion beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto your right hand!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a stubby-legged deep crimson beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Cookiemonster!

A stubby-legged deep crimson beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto Cookiemonster's left leg!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a miniscule blue-black beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Bert!

Blood jets forth as a miniscule blue-black beetle burrows into Bert's left leg!
... 20 points of damage!
Strike pierces calf!
He is knocked to the ground!
He is stunned!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a tiny shadowy black scarab suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Ohai!

Blood jets forth as a tiny shadowy black scarab burrows into Ohai's right hand!
... 20 points of damage!
Shot pierces a wrist!

* Ohai drops dead at your feet!

>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a miniscule glossy red beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Bert!

A miniscule glossy red beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto Bert's right leg!
>
--- sent to 'crosscharcom': wall go path
[crosscharcom]>go path
Ernie just wandered down a dusty path.

[WRoss]

You feel light-headed as a tiny light vermilion beetle draws the blood violently from your body!

>
You feel light-headed as a skittery glossy red beetle draws the blood violently from your body!

>n
You are still stunned.
>
* Bert just bit the dust!
>
You feel light-headed as a tiny light vermilion beetle draws the blood violently from your body!


It seems you have died, my friend. Although you cannot do anything, you are keenly aware of what is going on around you...

You realize that you have no outstanding favors which Lorminstra owes you, and without having accomplished a deed for Her, your soul is in danger of vanishing from the land forever!

...departing in 13 mins...
>
A skittery glossy red beetle suddenly pulses a bright crimson and drops away from you!
>
* Bigbird just bit the dust!
>
* Cookiemonster just bit the dust!
>
* Count just bit the dust!
>

A raggedly-dressed lass lopes by, slowing only long enough to whisper, "The smuggler's cutter 'Live Bait' just pulled up under the drawbridge!"
>
A tiny light vermilion beetle suddenly pulses a bright crimson and drops away from you!
>
Quicker than the eye can follow, a skittery glossy red beetle suddenly darts forward and lauches itself at Ernie!

A skittery glossy red beetle clamps its tiny mandibles onto Ernie's right hand!
>
Ernie just went east.
>
Ernie just arrived.
>
Ernie just went north.
>
* Ernie just bit the dust!
>l
[River's Rest, River Road]
As safe as a gate, the river runs swiftly east to west, secure against intrusion when the well-built drawbridge to the mainland is raised. Along the riverfront, comfortable benches are interspersed with odd three sided structures, large enough to hold a giant man comfortably, but their use not readily apparent. A fresh breeze carries the sounds of a nearby marketplace from the east, and an occasional hint of roasting meat from somewhere to the north. You also see a tiny light vermilion beetle and an oaken barrel.
Obvious paths: north, east, west
>
A tiny light vermilion beetle walks slowly sideways, lifting each stubby leg in turn.
>l
[River's Rest, River Road]
As safe as a gate, the river runs swiftly east to west, secure against intrusion when the well-built drawbridge to the mainland is raised. Along the riverfront, comfortable benches are interspersed with odd three sided structures, large enough to hold a giant man comfortably, but their use not readily apparent. A fresh breeze carries the sounds of a nearby marketplace from the east, and an occasional hint of roasting meat from somewhere to the north. You also see a tiny light vermilion beetle and an oaken barrel.
Obvious paths: north, east, west
>
You feel yourself being pulled away...
[River's Rest, Town Commons]
Fresh green grass, green as the greenest emerald, is soft underfoot and a pleasing foreground for a weathered wooden bench resting in the shade of a graceful willow tree. Birdsong fills the air and intermingles with the voices of folk who stroll through the commons, and on occasion stop to exchange a tale or two with friends they meet along their way. A dusty path to the south and a riverstone walkway to the north are joined by a tall evergreen hedge which borders the edges of the lawn. You also see a large wooden barrel.
Also here: Ernie, Ohai, Count, Bert, GameMaster Merchant, Cookiemonster
Obvious paths: none
>
Ohai asks, "Can I get a big light bag?"
>'woot!
You exclaim, "Woot!"
>
You are healed.
>all join big
--- sent to 'crosscharcom': wall join big
[crosscharcom]>join big
That would be a trick to be able to join yourself.
>
Cookiemonster joins your group.
>
Ernie joins your group.
>
Count joins your group.
>
Ohai says, "And maybe."
>squa
Please rephrase that command.
>squa
Please rephrase that command.
>l
[River's Rest, Town Commons]
Fresh green grass, green as the greenest emerald, is soft underfoot and a pleasing foreground for a weathered wooden bench resting in the shade of a graceful willow tree. Birdsong fills the air and intermingles with the voices of folk who stroll through the commons, and on occasion stop to exchange a tale or two with friends they meet along their way. A dusty path to the south and a riverstone walkway to the north are joined by a tall evergreen hedge which borders the edges of the lawn. You also see a large wooden barrel.
Also here: Ernie, Ohai, Count, Bert, GameMaster Merchant, Cookiemonster
Obvious paths: none
>
Ohai asks, "Pants?"
>l ohai
You see Ohai.
He appears to be a Halfling.
He is tiny and appears to be very young. He has ale-brown eyes and alabaster skin. He has a bald head.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing a mithril round shield, a ripped pea green cloak, an inky black harness, a tarnished leather-strung bell, some full leather, and a rich purple woolen backpack.
>say ::ohai halflings don't have anything in their pants, that's a myth
Speaking to Ohai, you say, "Halflings don't have anything in their pants, that's a myth."
>l
[River's Rest, Town Commons]
Fresh green grass, green as the greenest emerald, is soft underfoot and a pleasing foreground for a weathered wooden bench resting in the shade of a graceful willow tree. Birdsong fills the air and intermingles with the voices of folk who stroll through the commons, and on occasion stop to exchange a tale or two with friends they meet along their way. A dusty path to the south and a riverstone walkway to the north are joined by a tall evergreen hedge which borders the edges of the lawn. You also see a large wooden barrel.
Also here: Ernie, Ohai, Count, Bert, GameMaster Merchant, Cookiemonster
Obvious paths: none
>
Ohai says, "Or possibly...undunno something cool."
>l
[River's Rest, Town Commons]
Fresh green grass, green as the greenest emerald, is soft underfoot and a pleasing foreground for a weathered wooden bench resting in the shade of a graceful willow tree. Birdsong fills the air and intermingles with the voices of folk who stroll through the commons, and on occasion stop to exchange a tale or two with friends they meet along their way. A dusty path to the south and a riverstone walkway to the north are joined by a tall evergreen hedge which borders the edges of the lawn. You also see a large wooden barrel.
Also here: Ernie, Ohai, Count, Bert, GameMaster Merchant, Cookiemonster
Obvious paths: none
>
Ohai says, "Oh he left."
>
A garden variety kobold and company just arrived!
>
A garden variety kobold swings a closed fist at Bert!
AS: +26 vs DS: +124 with AvD: +18 + d100 roll: +47 = -33
A clean miss.
>
A garden variety kobold swings a closed fist at Bert!
AS: +26 vs DS: +124 with AvD: +18 + d100 roll: +30 = -50
A clean miss.
>
An overgrown kobold claws at Cookiemonster!
With no room to spare, Cookiemonster manages to parry the blow with his mithril longsword!
>
An overgrown kobold claws at Cookiemonster!
AS: +53 vs DS: +113 with AvD: +37 + d100 roll: +5 = -18
A clean miss.
>
A fearsome kobold warlord swings a closed fist at Bert!
With blinding speed, Bert parries the attack with his mace!
>
Ohai laughs!
>all gird
--- sent to 'crosscharcom': wall gird
[crosscharcom]>gird
Ohai slings a mithril round shield off from over his shoulder.
>
You remove an engraved mithril longsword from in your bearskin pack.
You sling a bunged up trash can lid off from over your shoulder.
>all join big
--- sent to 'crosscharcom': wall join big
[crosscharcom]>join big
Ohai recites a series of mystical phrases while raising his hands...
Ohai gestures.
Glowing specks of sparkling silver energy begin to spin around Ohai.
>
That would be a trick to be able to join yourself.
>so
--- sent to 'crosscharcom': wall stance off
[crosscharcom]>stance off
You are now in an offensive stance.
>bk
--- sent to 'crosscharcom': wall kill
[crosscharcom]>kill
Cookiemonster swings an engraved mithril longsword at a garden variety kobold!
AS: +119 vs DS: +5 with AvD: +41 + d100 roll: +13 = +168
... and hits for 49 points of damage!
Stomach ripped open by mighty blow!
The variety kobold crumples to a heap on the ground and dies.
>
You swing an engraved mithril longsword at a garden variety kobold!
AS: +84 vs DS: +5 with AvD: +41 + d100 roll: +92 = +212
... and hit for 68 points of damage!
Quick, powerful slash to the variety kobold's right knee!
The variety kobold crumples to a heap on the ground and dies.
Roundtime: 5 sec.
>
Count swings an engraved mithril longsword at an overgrown kobold!
AS: +119 vs DS: +16 with AvD: +41 + d100 roll: +24 = +168
... and hits for 29 points of damage!
Nice puncture to the abdomen, just missed vital organs!
>
An overgrown kobold claws at Cookiemonster!
AS: +43 vs DS: +40 with AvD: +37 + d100 roll: +36 = +76
A clean miss.
>
An overgrown kobold claws at Ernie!
Ernie barely manages to fend off the attack with his longsword!
>
Ernie swings an engraved mithril longsword at an overgrown kobold!
AS: +84 vs DS: +12 with AvD: +41 + d100 roll: +66 = +179
... and hits for 32 points of damage!
Deft swing strikes the overgrown kobold's neck.
Maybe not fatal but it's sure distracting.
The overgrown kobold is stunned!
>
A robed kobold warmage raises its fists to the sky.
>bk
--- sent to 'crosscharcom': wall kill
[crosscharcom]>kill
...wait 2 seconds.
>bk
--- sent to 'crosscharcom': wall kill
[crosscharcom]>kill
Count swings an engraved mithril longsword at an overgrown kobold!
AS: +119 vs DS: -10 with AvD: +41 + d100 roll: +98 = +268
... and hits for 66 points of damage!
Off-balance slash to the overgrown kobold's left arm shatters its elbow.
*CRUNCH*
The overgrown kobold falls to the ground and dies.
>
Ohai's hands glow with power as he summons elemental energy to his command...
>
You swing an engraved mithril longsword at an overgrown kobold!
AS: +84 vs DS: +28 with AvD: +41 + d100 roll: +78 = +175
... and hit for 34 points of damage!
Well aimed shot, punctures calf!
The overgrown kobold is stunned!
Roundtime: 5 sec.
>
Cookiemonster swings an engraved mithril longsword at an overgrown kobold!
The overgrown kobold stumbles dazedly, somehow managing to evade the attack!
>
Ohai gestures at a fearsome kobold warlord.
Ohai hurls a freezing ball of pure cold at a fearsome kobold warlord!
AS: +76 vs DS: -6 with AvD: +65 + d100 roll: +56 = +203
... and hits for 91 points of damage!
Frigid blast shatters the fearsome kobold warlord's right leg beyond all recognition!
A fearsome kobold warlord falls to the ground grasping its mangled right leg!
The fearsome kobold warlord keels over and twitches on the ground a few times before dying.
The freezing ball of pure cold strikes a fearsome kobold warlord, blossoming into a much larger sphere of frost upon impact.

A burst of frost from Ohai's freezing ball of pure cold flies off and hits an overgrown kobold.
... 20 points of damage!
Blast of cold air to left knee causes a polar knee cap!
>
Ernie swings an engraved mithril longsword at an overgrown kobold!
AS: +84 vs DS: -15 with AvD: +41 + d100 roll: +12 = +152
... and hits for 19 points of damage!
Minor puncture to the chest.
The overgrown kobold falls to the ground and dies.
>
l
[River's Rest, Town Commons]
Fresh green grass, green as the greenest emerald, is soft underfoot and a pleasing foreground for a weathered wooden bench resting in the shade of a graceful willow tree. Birdsong fills the air and intermingles with the voices of folk who stroll through the commons, and on occasion stop to exchange a tale or two with friends they meet along their way. A dusty path to the south and a riverstone walkway to the north are joined by a tall evergreen hedge which borders the edges of the lawn. You also see a garden variety kobold that appears dead, a garden variety kobold that appears dead, an overgrown kobold that appears dead, an overgrown kobold that appears dead, a fearsome kobold warlord that appears dead, a robed kobold warmage and a large wooden barrel.
Also here: Ernie, Ohai, Count, Bert, Cookiemonster
Obvious paths: none
>sloot
--- Lich: sloot active.
A robed kobold warmage claps its hands together in front of you!
CS: +35 - TD: +27 + CvA: +20 + d100: +38 == +66
Warded off!
>
Ohai's hands glow with power as he summons elemental energy to his command...
>
Ohai gestures at a robed kobold warmage.
Ohai hurls a freezing ball of pure cold at a robed kobold warmage!
AS: +76 vs DS: +8 with AvD: +65 + d100 roll: +61 = +194
... and hits for 62 points of damage!
Boiling water would feel better than that!
The kobold warmage crumples to the ground motionless.
The freezing ball of pure cold strikes a robed kobold warmage, blossoming into a much larger sphere of frost upon impact.
>
[sloot]>skin #1248541
You cannot skin a garden variety kobold.
>
[sloot]>loot #1248541
You search the variety kobold.
It didn't carry any silver.
It had nothing else of value.
A small, green cloud of smelly gas rises from the body of a garden variety kobold as it decays into compost.
>
[sloot]>loot #1248540
You search the variety kobold.
It had 61 silvers on it.
You gather the remaining 61 coins.
It had nothing else of value.
A small, green cloud of smelly gas rises from the body of a garden variety kobold as it decays into compost.
>
[sloot]>skin #1248539
You cannot skin an overgrown kobold.
>
[sloot]>loot #1248539
You search the overgrown kobold.
It had 10 silvers on it.
You gather the remaining 10 coins.
It had a blue-banded coquina shell on it!
It had nothing else of value.
A small, green cloud of smelly gas rises from the body of an overgrown kobold as it decays into compost.
>
[sloot]>loot #1248538
You search the overgrown kobold.
It had 167 silvers on it.
You gather the remaining 167 coins.
It had nothing else of value.
A small, green cloud of smelly gas rises from the body of an overgrown kobold as it decays into compost.
>
[sloot]>skin #1248537
You cannot skin a fearsome kobold warlord.
>
[sloot]>loot #1248537
You search the fearsome kobold warlord.
It didn't carry any silver.
It had a smoky topaz on it!
It had nothing else of value.
A small, green cloud of smelly gas rises from the body of a fearsome kobold warlord as it decays into compost.
>
[sloot]>stow right
You put an engraved mithril longsword in your bearskin pack.
>
[sloot]>get #1248634
Ohai searches a robed kobold warmage.
With one last twitch, the kobold warmage decays into compost.
>
You pick up a smoky topaz.
>
[sloot]>put #1248634 in pack
You put a smoky topaz in your bearskin pack.
>
[sloot]>get #1248632
You pick up a blue-banded coquina shell.
>
[sloot]>put #1248632 in pack
You put a blue-banded coquina shell in your bearskin pack.
>
[sloot]>get #1239592
You remove an engraved mithril longsword from in your bearskin pack.
>
--- Lich: sloot has exited.
bk
--- sent to 'crosscharcom': wall kill
[crosscharcom]>kill
You currently have no valid target. You will need to specify one.

[BriarFox]

You see Lord Luukos the Father of Lies.
He appears to be an Arkati of Lornon.
He is tall and appears to be very young. He has reptilian yellow eyes and dark skin. He has fluid, sleek shadow-hued hair. He has a scaly face, a sharp nose and a forked tongue.
He is in good shape.
He is holding a pulsating green sphere in his right hand.
He is wearing a polished green serpent talisman, some dark brown robes, and some dark brown sandals.

Hah. And he was altering stuff.

[Eoghain]

Afkfapfapfap just closed an adult scroll stash.

[Methais]

Hah. And he was altering stuff.

He deepened my anus.

Only a god can make Goatse's anus deeper.

[BriarFox]

Luukos offers you a Ban Hammer. Click ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

Hahahahaha

[Eoghain]

Goatse put a massive No. 2 pencil in his distended anus.
>
Goatse's hands glow with power as he summons elemental energy to his command...
>
Goatse gestures at a painfully distended anus.
Goatse hurls a stream of water at a painfully distended anus!
The water scours the distended anus clean.

[BriarFox]

Goatse says, "Ok folks, I need 2 girls."

God help us all.

[Senglent]

Come on Briar, you knew it was going to be off the wall crap for the first month or two.

[BriarFox]

Come on Briar, you knew it was going to be off the wall crap for the first month or two.

I'm just going to hit him with my Ban Hammer claid. Or, better yet, I need to get another claid altered into a butt plug, then hurl it into him. Heh.

;)

[iJin]

A friggin' huge war griffin says, "Dude, stop attacking me."
A friggin' huge war griffin asks, "Srsly, wtf?"

:rofl:

Hahaha. I loled.

[upperguy]

Your hands glow with power as you invoke the phrase for Major Cold...
Your spell is ready.
>
You gesture at Count.
You hurl a freezing ball of pure cold at Count!
AS: +64 vs DS: +57 with AvD: +54 + d100 roll: +97 = +158
... and hit for 30 points of damage!
Count appears to be getting cold feet.
The freezing ball of pure cold strikes Count, blossoming into a much larger sphere of frost upon impact.
... 25 points of damage!
Left arm fractured by an icy blast!
He is stunned!

A burst of frost from your freezing ball of pure cold flies off and hits Cookiemonster!
... 10 points of damage!
Cookiemonster just got the cold shoulder!
He is stunned!

A burst of frost from your freezing ball of pure cold flies off and hits Ernie!
... 15 points of damage!
Cold compresses will help the swelling of Ernie's left eye!
He is stunned!

A burst of frost from your freezing ball of pure cold flies off and hits Bert!
... 10 points of damage!
Bert just got the cold shoulder!

A burst of frost from your freezing ball of pure cold flies off and hits Bigbird!
... 15 points of damage!
Bigbird's left arm trembles with the cold.
He is stunned!
Cast Roundtime 3 Seconds.
(Forcing stance down to guarded)

[Kuyuk]

lol

[faloon]

From nearby, you hear Gonzalez yell, "Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba! Yii-hah!"
>
Gonzalez just arrived.
>
Gonzalez returns to normal speed.
>
Gonzalez just went west

[Ceyrin]

Your hands glow with power as you invoke the phrase for Major Cold...
Your spell is ready.
>
You gesture at Count.
You hurl a freezing ball of pure cold at Count!
AS: +64 vs DS: +57 with AvD: +54 + d100 roll: +97 = +158
... and hit for 30 points of damage!
Count appears to be getting cold feet.
The freezing ball of pure cold strikes Count, blossoming into a much larger sphere of frost upon impact.
... 25 points of damage!
Left arm fractured by an icy blast!
He is stunned!

A burst of frost from your freezing ball of pure cold flies off and hits Cookiemonster!
... 10 points of damage!
Cookiemonster just got the cold shoulder!
He is stunned!

A burst of frost from your freezing ball of pure cold flies off and hits Ernie!
... 15 points of damage!
Cold compresses will help the swelling of Ernie's left eye!
He is stunned!

A burst of frost from your freezing ball of pure cold flies off and hits Bert!
... 10 points of damage!
Bert just got the cold shoulder!

A burst of frost from your freezing ball of pure cold flies off and hits Bigbird!
... 15 points of damage!
Bigbird's left arm trembles with the cold.
He is stunned!
Cast Roundtime 3 Seconds.
(Forcing stance down to guarded)

Lol.. pwnd them all.

[waywardgs]

Rick sings:

"We're no strangers to love..."

>
The voice of Catwoman says, "Sometimes the truth hides."
>
You laugh at Rick!
>
Ferris laughs!
>
Mistahslave holds out his hand and invites Rick to the dance.
>
From nearby, you hear Tourettesguy yell, "HOLY FUCK!"
>
Ferris turns to Rick and cheers!
>
You see Rick.
He appears to be a Sylvankind.
He is very tall and appears to be very young. He has close-set violet eyes and bronze skin. He has waist length, unkempt grey hair swept back from the temples. He has an angular face, a hooked nose and broad shoulders.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing a leather sheath, a crystal amulet, an ivory organza pouch, a cinched barkcloth pack, a pair of ivory leather boots, some fitted green suede leggings, a pale green peaked leather cap, and a side-laced pale leather gambeson.
>
A blinding flash of lightning is quickly followed by a low rumble of thunder.
>
Tourettesguy just arrived.
>
Catwoman comes out of hiding.
Catwoman yells, "FUCK HOLY!"
>
Rick sings:

"You know the rules, AND SO DO I"

>
Buddy just arrived.
>
Buddy just went east.
>
Xengolor just arrived.
>
Rick dances around the room to music only he can hear.
>
Cervina's face clouds over in pain.
>
You raspily say, "We're getting rickrolled."
>
Bhaal just arrived.
>
You raspily say, "GS style."
>
Bhaal says, "Healing please."
>
Tourettesguy pokes Rick in the ribs.
>
Rick sings:

"A full commitments what I'm...."

>
Mistahslave's face clouds over in pain.
>
Speaking to Rick, Mistahslave says, "I will never give you up."
>
Rick sings:

"THINKING OF"

>
Speaking to Rick, Tourettesguy says, "You're supposed to lie down so you can roll."
>
Lightning just arrived.
>
Lightning just went northwest.
>
Rick lies down.
>
Rick rolls around on the ground.
>
Lightning just arrived.
>
Lightning just went east.
>
Tourettesguy rolls Rick over.
>
Bhaal says, "Fucking bleeding."
>
Buttmonkey renews his song.
>
Mistahslave goes into a sudden coughing fit spraying dark blood-colored spittle everywhere.
>
Blood begins to run from Cervina's eyes and ears.
>
Bhaal coughs.
>
Goatse just stumbled in, flailing his arms wildly while trying to right himself!
>
Tourettesguy just went northwest.
>
(Buttplug inserts himself into Bhaal 's anus and vibrates while slowly gliding up and down!)
>
Rick sings:

"Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down"

>
Bhaal just went northwest.
>
Rick rolls around on the ground.
>
Goatse scratches at a painfully distended anus.

[waywardgs]

Wowgolddotcom recites:

"Welcome you!
cheap world gold 4 u wowgold.com.
10% off with wowgold code friend $3/1000G 20 minute f2f trade
Welcome You!"

[RichardCranium]

susanexpressdotcom was too long?

[mgoddess]

Buttmonkey renews his song.

(Buttplug inserts himself into Bhaal 's anus and vibrates while slowly gliding up and down!)

Goatse scratches at a painfully distended anus.
LOLness. If it wasn't $5 extra bucks a month, I would totally be in on the good times!

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

>
Speaking to Merchant, you say, "I want to be gored to death by a zombie unicorn."
>
You sigh.
>
Merchant stares at you.
>
You fold your arms over your chest.
>
You exclaim, "A girl can dream!"
>
You rub your unicorn horn.
>
A stupidly awesome zombie unicorn charges through Tyrnian Court, spearing you with its spiraled horn of awesomeitude. You flop around like a dead carp.
DEAD>
You say, "YES."
DEAD>
You say, "Life is complete."
DEAD>
You say, "Well, death."
DEAD>
Barack beams happily at you!
DEAD>
Speaking to you, Merchant asks, "All better?"
DEAD>
Merchant turns the spigot and pours himself a tall glass of strawberry margarita!
DEAD>
Merchant takes a drink from his strawberry margarita.
DEAD>
You say, "I think so."
DEAD>
Speaking to you, Merchant says, "Shit, we need to find a cleric for you."
DEAD>
Barack concentrates deeply for a moment.
DEAD>
Merchant exclaims, "MEDIC!"
DEAD>
Merchant takes a drink from his strawberry margarita.
DEAD>
Merchant seems to be waiting for something.
DEAD>
You say, "I worship at the alter of bacon."
DEAD>
You say, "BACON WHERE ARE YOU, DO NOT FORSAKE ME."
DEAD>
Barack yells, "We've got a dead hot bitch over here!"
DEAD>
Merchant takes a drink from his strawberry margarita.
DEAD>
Merchant's hands glow with power as he summons elemental energy to his command...
DEAD>
Barack says, "I chose the wrong day to give up necrophilia."
DEAD>
Merchant gestures at you.
A small surge of electricity arcs out towards your dead body!
Your body twitches slightly in response.
DEAD>
Merchant exclaims, "CLEAR!"
DEAD>
You say, "I think it worked a little bit."
DEAD>
Speaking to you, Merchant asks, "Did it work?"
DEAD>
You say, "I feel slightly less dead."
DEAD>
You say, "Just slightly."
DEAD>
Merchant takes a drink from his strawberry margarita.
DEAD>
Merchant says, "Well hell."

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

You see Barack Obama.
He appears to be a Half-Elf.
He is average height and appears to be very young. He has dark-rimmed brown eyes and dark brown skin. He has short, greasy dark brown hair with grey at the temples. He has a gaunt face, a broad nose and dimpled cheeks.
He has some minor cuts and bruises on his left leg, some minor cuts and bruises on his right hand, and some minor cuts and bruises on his right leg.
He is wearing a suit of Stimulus Funds, a nuclear suitcase, a Universal Healthcare kit, a Nobel peace prize strung on a heavy gold-linked chain, and a pinstriped black suit with an obvious flag charm pinned to the lapel.

[m444w]

he should have been a dark elf

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

>
Barack put a wealth distributing claidhmore in his nuclear suitcase.

[WRoss]

Morphion Utena Sluntty Bloodninja
Eliano Speedy Buttplug Chica
Kallisti Clank Father Slash
Tool Comeatmebro Heals Dude
Smeagol Rosee Everybody Crysis


The who list in shattered reminds me of those magnets for your refrigerator. These must be the x-rated version.

[Jayvn]

You are wearing some exploding armor of doom(4xfulls), a void of pure awesome(backpack)

[Back]

You see Barack Obama.
He appears to be a Half-Elf.
He is average height and appears to be very young. He has dark-rimmed brown eyes and dark brown skin. He has short, greasy dark brown hair with grey at the temples. He has a gaunt face, a broad nose and dimpled cheeks.
He has some minor cuts and bruises on his left leg, some minor cuts and bruises on his right hand, and some minor cuts and bruises on his right leg.
He is wearing a suit of Stimulus Funds, a nuclear suitcase, a Universal Healthcare kit, a Nobel peace prize strung on a heavy gold-linked chain, and a pinstriped black suit with an obvious flag charm pinned to the lapel.

Ok, now this is cleverly funny. Nuclear suitcase?

[Methais]

I just realized that part of Auchand's description says, "You get the feeling that if you cross him, you will lose."

:lol:

[Tisket]

Ok, now this is cleverly funny. Nuclear suitcase?

Here, you ignoramus: http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2005-05-05-nuclear-football_x.htm

Barack needs to MA with a couple of Secret Service agent-types. Dark glasses, a suit, and earpieces.

[Methais]

Here, you ignoramus: http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2005-05-05-nuclear-football_x.htm

Barack needs to MA with a couple of Secret Service agent-types. Dark glasses, a suit, and earpieces.

WHY AREN'T YOU IN SHATTERED CYBERING WITH ME?!?!?!?!?

[Tisket]

I almost reactivated last night. Then I came to my senses.

[Methais]

I almost reactivated last night. Then I came to my senses.

Damn you!

Shattered is a blast, even if you're bored to death with Prime like I am.

[Tisket]

I deactivated because I was having too much fun in Prime and spending too much time playing. I have the feeling that Shattered would be even more time-consuming.

I would reactivate right now if Drew would give me his character name "Cunt" though.

[Methais]

I deactivated because I was having too much fun in Prime and spending too much time playing. I have the feeling that Shattered would be even more time-consuming.

I would reactivate right now if Drew would give me his character name "Cunt" though.

Depending on if you wanna afk script or not, it could actually be less time consuming. Then when you're ready to cyber you just hop back behind the keyboard, then go afk and script again when you're done.

[Drunken Durfin]

Kind of a cross post, but I figured that it should go here for history.

I was bragging on the officials about having a script that kept me from being bolted. I was sitting at a Thrak table fletching and...



A bolt of lightning streaks down from the sky and strikes you!
... 25 points of damage!
Horrid jolt to neck explodes vocal cords. You gurgle in response.
You are stunned for 8 rounds!

A tremendous crack of thunder follows instantly!

A bolt of lightning streaks down from the sky and strikes you!
... 70 points of damage!
Massive shock totally burns out the nervous system. Nothing works anymore.
It seems you have died, my friend. Although you cannot do anything, you are keenly aware of what is going on around you...

You realize that you have no outstanding favors which Lorminstra owes you, and without having accomplished a deed for Her, your soul is in danger of vanishing from the land forever!

...departing in 14 mins...

A tremendous crack of thunder follows instantly!

You get the feeling that maybe your anti-Bolt script isn't working.

[RichardCranium]

I almost reactivated last night. Then I came to my senses.

I will if you will. Go to Shattered, not cyber Methais. Not again.

[Drew]

I deactivated because I was having too much fun in Prime and spending too much time playing. I have the feeling that Shattered would be even more time-consuming.

I would reactivate right now if Drew would give me his character name "Cunt" though.


Wait, you want my Cunt? I always thought it was something else.

[Jayvn]

Holy shit I need 2 katars altered into sharp raptor talons....

[radamanthys]

Wait, are you the Velociraptor?

[Jayvn]

ROAR! ...yes to velociraptor..not to 'roar' i need serious feature atleration

[radamanthys]

ROAR! ...yes to velociraptor..not to 'roar' i need serious feature atleration

Awesome. I shoulda had a schtick.

[Jayvn]

yep, I'll be glad to rip someone's intestines out and begin to eat them while they are still alive..

[Enitocin]

I'm resisting the urge to activate a shattered account.
$5 more bucks a month. :(

[Drunken Durfin]

I'm resisting the urge to activate a shattered account.
$5 more bucks a month. :(


Worth Every Penny.

[Enitocin]

Worth Every Penny.

You aren't helping. :(

[Monotonous]

You feel yourself being pulled away...

You say, "Hi.."
s>
Tiqal says, "Good evening."
s>l
[Consultation Lounge]
The cozy surroundings of this simple conference room provide a much-welcomed respite from the chaos just outside its walls. You notice several plush chairs arranged casually around the room in a comfortable grouping.
Also here: GameMaster Tiqal
Obvious exits: none

You say, "This place is familiar."
s>
Tiqal chuckles.
s>
You say, "Thought I escaped it forever."
s>
Tiqal says, "I'm not surprised, but I'll make this quick."
s>
You ask, "Exploit no like?"
s>
Tiqal says, "Scripting is allowed in Shattered, explotation is not."

:bananahit:

http://hostilehorizons.com/usethesploits.jpg

[Methais]

What did you exploit?

[m444w]

yeah seriously... I thought nothing mattered? That's weak if they go back on that shit.

[WRoss]

Yup, I'm through with shattered after some shit they were pulling yesterday. GM playground = no fun

[Drew]

yeah seriously... I thought nothing mattered? That's weak if they go back on that shit.

They made it clear from the start you couldn't exploit bugs. No locker duping, no infinite exp/coin bugs, etc.

[Jayvn]

God damnit..this is the pc TITS(your exploit) or GTFO

[Inspire]

God damnit..this is the pc TITS(your exploit) or GTFO

LOL

[jabst1922]

Roundtime: 3 sec.
A spotted lynx tries to bite you!
You easily parry the attack with your motherfucking stick!

[Monotonous]

They already got it out for me apparently.. Really don't want to incur any more GM nerd rage by posting exploits.

http://akatsukiseven.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/nerd-rage.gif

[Liagala]

[Wehnimer's, Stormarm St.]
A few warehouses, small shops and businesses, and unmarked buildings with weathered modwir siding predominate along this part of the road. The street is less crowded than those near the docks or the square, and the irregular cobblestones are slick and unyielding underfoot. You also see a painted blue police call box, a small bird and a warehouse entrance.
Obvious paths: north, east, south

You glance at a painted blue police call box.

The police call box is painted a dark cerulean. It is possessed of a quiet majesty that transcends its simple shape and fogged windows. A stained bit of parchment is centered upon one of the door's panels.
There appears to be something written on it.
>
Father just arrived.
>
Father just went north.

In the Common language, it reads:

Police Telephone

Free
For use of
Public

Advice & assistance
Obtainable immediately

Officer & cars
Respond to all calls

PULL TO OPEN
>
The small bird flits to the ground and does a bit of hunting before returning to its perch.
>
>pull box
I'm afraid that you can't pull that.

You snicker.
With a high-pitched, resonating sound, the light atop a painted blue police call box comes to life and begins pulsing in time with a grating noise. The police call box fades out of sight.
>

[radamanthys]

[Wehnimer's, Stormarm St.]
A few warehouses, small shops and businesses, and unmarked buildings with weathered modwir siding predominate along this part of the road. The street is less crowded than those near the docks or the square, and the irregular cobblestones are slick and unyielding underfoot. You also see a painted blue police call box, a small bird and a warehouse entrance.
Obvious paths: north, east, south

You glance at a painted blue police call box.

The police call box is painted a dark cerulean. It is possessed of a quiet majesty that transcends its simple shape and fogged windows. A stained bit of parchment is centered upon one of the door's panels.
There appears to be something written on it.
>
Father just arrived.
>
Father just went north.

In the Common language, it reads:

Police Telephone

Free
For use of
Public

Advice & assistance
Obtainable immediately

Officer & cars
Respond to all calls

PULL TO OPEN
>
The small bird flits to the ground and does a bit of hunting before returning to its perch.
>
>pull box
I'm afraid that you can't pull that.

You snicker.
With a high-pitched, resonating sound, the light atop a painted blue police call box comes to life and begins pulsing in time with a grating noise. The police call box fades out of sight.
>

You can go into the box and float around. Auchand made a TARDIS. Sadly, it won't transport you forward in time to when you're a greater level. Can't cross teh time streams.

[Liagala]

You can go into the box and float around. Auchand made a TARDIS. Sadly, it won't transport you forward in time to when you're a greater level. Can't cross teh time streams.
Ooh, I didn't realize it was a permanant thing. I just saw it now, after the "stop policing us" thing was resolved on the Officials. I thought a GM made it as a result of that discussion - pull for police, but you can't pull it.

[Some Rogue]

Whitepower the Ranger.
He appears to be a Giantman.

[radamanthys]

I just saw a character named Walternate.

Fringe reference. I hope he has a character named Walter in prime.

[Some Rogue]

People trying to RP and taking names and people's words in character make me lol. Yes, Velgravosh I am looking at you.

[Fulsin]

People trying to RP and taking names and people's words in character make me lol. Yes, Velgravosh I am looking at you.

People who want to RP may need to head to Zul Logoth because I don't see anybody being able to RP with Whitepower or Tourettesguy running around.

[Liagala]

Rambo yells, "Help! gooks all over me!"
>
Rambo says, "Oh, i trained."
>
Rambo says, "Time-out."

[SayGoodbye]

Who the hell plays Rambo? I want to pos rep them.

[Marl]

rambo =

http://forum.gsplayers.com/showthread.php?p=1111540#post1111540

[Oscar]

Name: Novice Oscar
Profession: Grouch
Race: Erithian Gender: Male
He is tiny and appears to be young.
He has googly eyes and furry green skin.
He has dirty, shaggy hair.

Quote: "110%"

You are holding a Newport cigarette in your right hand.
You are wearing a trash can lid, a large steel trash can, a pack of Oscar Meyer weiners, an exquisite hobo's rucksack, some track marks, the removed heart of Mr. Hooper, a mottled green leather cloak, a plastic grocery bag filled with the uncertain remains of his former life, a McGrail pant leg, and a large sack.

[mikewstarr]

rambo is me
widgit/aavuri in prime

[Drew]

Name: Novice Oscar
Profession: Grouch
Race: Erithian Gender: Male
He is tiny and appears to be young.
He has googly eyes and furry green skin.
He has dirty, shaggy hair.

Quote: "110%"

You are holding a Newport cigarette in your right hand.
You are wearing a trash can lid, a large steel trash can, a pack of Oscar Meyer weiners, an exquisite hobo's rucksack, some track marks, the removed heart of Mr. Hooper, a mottled green leather cloak, a plastic grocery bag filled with the uncertain remains of his former life, a McGrail pant leg, and a large sack.


I get it.

[Some Rogue]

rambo is me
widgit/aavuri in prime

FIVE DOLLAH, SUCKY SUCKY??

[Jayvn]

People who want to RP may need to head to Zul Logoth because I don't see anybody being able to RP with Whitepower or Tourettesguy running around.

apparently you're missing the definition of rp... Roleplay... roleplay does NOT mean pretending to be specifically in a designated time period or saying THEE AND THOU Every 5 minutes and bowing... it's playing the ROLE of an alter ego you've created... like my velociraptor... he hasn't said shit yet..but imit shriek raptor, roar, growl, sniff at people.. rambo's been pretty fuckin in character too...

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

You see Jaeden the Ranger.
He appears to be a Giantman of the Wsalamir Clan.
He is very tall and appears to be very young. He has piercing jade green eyes and olive skin. He has raggedly cut, unruly jet black hair. He has a weathered face and a grizzled beard. He appears to have trouble refraining from posting stupid threads on internet forums.
He has minor cuts and bruises on his back.
He is holding a fistful of uncollected thoughts in his right hand.
He is wearing some tan full leather etched with runes of girlish whining, a swirling black void, an inky black hide scabbard, a spinning galaxy, a crystal nebula, a pulsating indigo quazar, and a bone-fringed headband.

[pabstblueribbon]

Alright, that is fucking win. :worship:

[Shari]

You see Jaeden the Ranger.
He appears to be a Giantman of the Wsalamir Clan.
He is very tall and appears to be very young. He has piercing jade green eyes and olive skin. He has raggedly cut, unruly jet black hair. He has a weathered face and a grizzled beard. He appears to have trouble refraining from posting stupid threads on internet forums.
He has minor cuts and bruises on his back.
He is holding a fistful of uncollected thoughts in his right hand.
He is wearing some tan full leather etched with runes of girlish whining, a swirling black void, an inky black hide scabbard, a spinning galaxy, a crystal nebula, a pulsating indigo quazar, and a bone-fringed headband.

Best yet. Best....yet.

[radamanthys]

Awesome.

[HJFudge]

--- Lich: useherbs active.

Missing herb for major stupid.

--- Lich: useherbs has exited.
Sihaya murmurs a simple, mystical chant...
Sihaya concentrates.
Sihaya's chest looks better.

For the lulz.

[waywardgs]

You see Jaeden the Ranger.
He appears to be a Giantman of the Wsalamir Clan.
He is very tall and appears to be very young. He has piercing jade green eyes and olive skin. He has raggedly cut, unruly jet black hair. He has a weathered face and a chinstrap beard. He appears to have trouble refraining from posting stupid threads on internet forums.
He has minor cuts and bruises on his back.
He is holding a fistful of uncollected thoughts in his right hand.
He is wearing some tan full leather etched with runes of girlish whining, a swirling black void, an inky black hide scabbard, a spinning galaxy, a crystal nebula, a pulsating indigo quazar, and a bone-fringed headband.

There. Now it's perfect.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

LOL, I'm glad I'm not the only one who's made the chinstrap beard + tool connection. It's like a shining beacon that says "HI, I PADDLE AROUND IN A PISS-FILLED DOUCHE CANOE ALL DAY!"

[Liagala]

You see Jaeden the Ranger.
He appears to be a Giantman of the Wsalamir Clan.
He is very tall and appears to be very young. He has piercing jade green eyes and olive skin. He has raggedly cut, unruly jet black hair. He has a weathered face and a grizzled beard. He appears to have trouble refraining from posting stupid threads on internet forums.
He has minor cuts and bruises on his back.
He is holding a fistful of uncollected thoughts in his right hand.
He is wearing some tan full leather etched with runes of girlish whining, a swirling black void, an inky black hide scabbard, a spinning galaxy, a crystal nebula, a pulsating indigo quazar, and a bone-fringed headband.

That is hilarious, but if it stayed on him longer than a couple minutes I think it's over the line. I don't think he'd appreciate it anywhere near as much as we do. Is he still like that, or did whichever GM put him back to normal right after?

[Khariz]

That is hilarious, but if it stayed on him longer than a couple minutes I think it's over the line. I don't think he'd appreciate it anywhere near as much as we do. Is he still like that, or did whichever GM put him back to normal right after?

Still as of a minute ago.

[Mogonis]

Who plays Jaeden?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

That is hilarious, but if it stayed on him longer than a couple minutes I think it's over the line. I don't think he'd appreciate it anywhere near as much as we do. Is he still like that, or did whichever GM put him back to normal right after?

I dunno but I think it's hilarious whether it's on for a minute or permanently. GMs have been doing permanent alters on people's stuff since Shattered started. I'm sure if he searched out a GM and asked for something else, they'd change it. I've looked in the mirror to find random feature alterations and I had random last names prior to Saurus.

[pabstblueribbon]

No rules for GM's too! Brilliant!

Simu,
http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll29/DMatthewH/Funny%20Album/doingitwrong.jpg

Alright, enough with my ranting, I couldn't resist. Good night.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Who plays Jaeden?
Iorake, I believe. He posted Jaeden in the "post your outfit and alterations" thread.

[Liagala]

I dunno but I think it's hilarious whether it's on for a minute or permanently. GMs have been doing permanent alters on people's stuff since Shattered started. I'm sure if he searched out a GM and asked for something else, they'd change it.

Permanantly changing someone with a sense of humor is cool. He, unfortunately, doesn't strike me as the type to snicker when he reads that. As much as I enjoy needling him and as much as I laughed when I read that, I don't think it's right to toss it on him permanantly (or even until he finds a GM wandering around to change it). It's too personally insulting, and until he stumbles across a GM, there's nothing he can do about it. I'm not sure how to phrase my objection to it, since I've been taking great delight in personally insulting him (and have every intention of continuing to do so)... it just bugs me. Dammit I'm female, I don't have to make sense! That for a couple minutes would be hilarious, or permanant not-quite-so-personal changes would be great IMO, but something about that bothers me.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

This thread suddenly makes me disappoint.

Maybe my empathy/give-a-fuck impulse is broken, maybe it's because I've had every insult under the sun tossed at me, but in the long list of gripes people could potentially have against GM actions in Shattered, this seems low on said list. I'd say ghosting and fucking with a person's appearance is one of the most harmless things a GM can do, especially given all the recent upset over GMs interfering with scripting, leveling, and progression through the game. This is by miles far tamer, not to mention funnier.

Like I said, I've found random feature alters on myself and other people have too (I know Shari got ghost altered with some hideous features, LOL).

Now I'm starting to worry that we're really not going to see GM interaction at all, be it alters or otherwise, before too long, for fear of upsetting someone. And if they can't fuck around harmlessly at the very least, what incentive is there for them to come and customize shit or play with us?

Meh.

[IorakeWarhammer]

Iorake, I believe. He posted Jaeden in the "post your outfit and alterations" thread.

yes its me

[thefarmer]

Now I'm starting to worry that we're really not going to see GM interaction at all, be it alters or otherwise, before too long, for fear of upsetting someone. And if they can't fuck around harmlessly at the very least, what incentive is there for them to come and customize shit or play with us?

Meh.

I thought that was the point of shattered? No rules for anyone, GMs included?

It's ok for a GM to make a wardildo for a player, but they can't poke fun at a player too?

[Kitsun]

This thread suddenly makes me disappoint.

Maybe my empathy/give-a-fuck impulse is broken, maybe it's because I've had every insult under the sun tossed at me, but in the long list of gripes people could potentially have against GM actions in Shattered, this seems low on said list. I'd say ghosting and fucking with a person's appearance is one of the most harmless things a GM can do, especially given all the recent upset over GMs interfering with scripting, leveling, and progression through the game. This is by miles far tamer, not to mention funnier.

Like I said, I've found random feature alters on myself and other people have too (I know Shari got ghost altered with some hideous features, LOL).

Now I'm starting to worry that we're really not going to see GM interaction at all, be it alters or otherwise, before too long, for fear of upsetting someone. And if they can't fuck around harmlessly at the very least, what incentive is there for them to come and customize shit or play with us?

Meh.

I have no doubt that people whining will drive the GMs off eventually. It is a shame but inevitable.

When the GMs go, the gimmick characters will die out due to not being able to outfit themselves, the PK'ers won't have anyone to harass except the scripters. The scripters won't have anyone to sell their overwhelming piles of easily earned coins to.

[Liagala]

This thread suddenly makes me disappoint.

Maybe my empathy/give-a-fuck impulse is broken, maybe it's because I've had every insult under the sun tossed at me, but in the long list of gripes people could potentially have against GM actions in Shattered, this seems low on said list. I'd say ghosting and fucking with a person's appearance is one of the most harmless things a GM can do, especially given all the recent upset over GMs interfering with scripting, leveling, and progression through the game. This is by miles far tamer, not to mention funnier.

Like I said, I've found random feature alters on myself and other people have too (I know Shari got ghost altered with some hideous features, LOL).

Now I'm starting to worry that we're really not going to see GM interaction at all, be it alters or otherwise, before too long, for fear of upsetting someone. And if they can't fuck around harmlessly at the very least, what incentive is there for them to come and customize shit or play with us?

Meh.
Calm down woman. I don't run Shattered, remember? I think putting a permanant insult on someone with no sense of humor to enjoy it, is in poor taste. That's all. Insults on people who can enjoy them, cool. Funny-but-not-quite-so-insulting stuff on anyone, cool. If that alter had gone on you, me, or anyone else who wouldn't read it and pitch a fit, I'd've been content to laugh my ass off and move on. It was funny.

Fortunately for the Shattered community at large, Lia's mild disapproval with one act does not spell THE DOOM OF ALL ENTERTAINMENT. I'm not about to go to the officials and start whining that GMs are too mean to us and they should stop. So I don't like what happened. BFD. I may have taken the name David, but he's not high enough level for me to add Whatley at the end yet. You're all safe from my mild disapproval for a little while longer.

Edit:

let the people play.... if their life is fulfilled by having little goodies like that, more power to the GMs for offering decent customer service
Objection withdrawn, carry on.

[Fallen]

Couldn't he just get it cleared in the pavillion?

[Schala]

Couldn't he just get it cleared in the pavillion?

Not for that type. Special line feature alters can only be changed/cleared by GMs.

[Buckwheet]

Getting altered when I am not expecting it would be great, I have to agree with Nikki that in terms of GMs being annoying that is way, WAY low on my list.