Over reacting or good reason to be upset?

[Trinitis]

Ok, I just want peoples thoughts on this.


I'm currently working part time, and going to college full time. I'm at work / in classes from 7am, till 3:30 pm. I have no breaks..I have no lunch. Its bam bam bam all in a row. I also have a 30-45min commute from home to the college (which is also where I work). I normally get home around 4pm, and jump right into 1-2 hours of homework each night.

Now..the question. I'm I just being pissy, or do I have reason to be uspet when I'm asked to do a sink full of dishes after my homework. Said dishes not being messed up by me, nor did I partake in said meal.

-Adredrin, Currently pissed.

[Soulpieced]

I'd say you definitely have a right to sit around and do nothing.

[Latrinsorm]

Did you cook?

[Kuyuk]

I think you're being a whiny brat. Chores have to be done, whether by you or someone else, suck it up, everyone has a life.

P.S.- My college class started at 2 A.M. and went until about 2 P.M. I sucked it up.

Kuyuk

[Skirmisher]

I think if you are still living at home that there are some chores you will be asked to do that do not directly benefit you, but instead the household as a whole.

When put up against all the benefits of living at home I think the vast majority of the times you would have to admit it works in your favor.

tell them to buy a dishwasher

[Scott]

Assuming that you are living at home because only a mother would ask that question.... Do you pay rent? Your parents could just tell you go to buy yourself a house or something. Go pay for your food, utilities, etc. and then you'll have to do that stuff anyway. Be glad all you have to do are dishes, you got it easy. You'll be doing that shit for the rest of your life, unless of course you get a wife/maid.

If you don't live at home, ignore the above post.

[Snapp]

Over reacting. Sorry to be blunt, but grow up.

[Satira]

Are you paying rent?

If you are, you didn't cook, you didn't eat, then you have a reason to be annoyed. If you're living at home free of cost, then you have no reason to be complaining.

[Scott]

Paying rent doesn't excuse someone for doing work around the house. You need to do things around the house even if you didn't do it. Be glad your parents let you live at home, some parents throw you out at 18. I'd rather do dishes that aren't mine and pay $300 for rent then pay $700 for rent +utils and have to do my own.....

[Shari]

I hate to say it, but if you do still live at home...I'm afraid that you'll be obligated to do chores until you move out.

And it only gets worse once you move out, work, school, get home at 5pm and have to make dinner, do laundry, and do dishes, and pay the bills for said things to be done!

<---misses not having to cook meals for herself...a lot.

[Trinitis]

Yes I pay $250 / mo rent. Which is about 70% of what I earn.

[Edited on 3-31-2004 by LordAdredrin]

[Trinitis]

Originally posted by Gemstone101
Paying rent doesn't excuse someone for doing work around the house. You need to do things around the house even if you didn't do it. Be glad your parents let you live at home, some parents throw you out at 18. I'd rather do dishes that aren't mine and pay $300 for rent then pay $700 for rent +utils and have to do my own.....

I guess I should clear this up just a touch more.

While I was off doing everything I listed in my first post today. My step father sat on his ass all day watching TV and playing on pogo.com.

[Scott]

Originally posted by LordAdredrin
Yes I pay $250 / mo rent. Which is about 70% of what I earn.

[Edited on 3-31-2004 by LordAdredrin]

I understand it sucks and everything, but be glad. Imagine how much more work you'd have to do to make up for paying for your own place. You'd be working a lot more, then after your homework you'd have to make your own food, clean up. Then by the time your done, you'll sit down to relax only to realize you have to go to sleep so you can get up and do it all over.

You got it easy, life only gets harder.

EDIT: Because life doesn't get harded, it gets harder.

[Edited on 3-31-2004 by Gemstone101]

[Trinitis]

Originally posted by Gemstone101

I understand it sucks and everything, but be glad. Imagine how much more work you'd have to do to make up for paying for your own place. You'd be working a lot more, then after your homework you'd have to make your own food, clean up. Then by the time your done, you'll sit down to relax only to realize you have to go to sleep so you can get up and do it all over.

You got it easy, life only gets harded.

I've already lived in my own place for 2 years. Its not as hard as everyone is making it out to be. There is a LOT less dishes and house work when your doing your own thing.

The only reason I'm in the position I'm at right now, is because Its next to impossible to find a job thats willing to shift my work hours every 2-3 months so they can plan around my classes. The job I currently have gives me about 11-16 hours a week..which limits my funds.

I'm extreamly greatful for the chance they are giving me..but I'm getting tired of cleaning up their shit, when they (he) did squat all frickin day.

[Scott]

You are paying next to nothing for rent and they are making you work at home... Sorry, but if my son is living at home at 20(?) he'll be doing work. It's tough, but suck it up and be glad you have a place to live for $250.

[Trinitis]

I guess I just view things like this differently. If the positions where reversed, and I made / ate a meal. I would not expect anyone else who did not partake of the meal to clean it up. I made the mess (or was a direct cause, because I ate), and as such, its my deal to clean it up.

I think a lot of my anger stems from the Step-Father right now. He bitches and bitches at me about me "never doing anything" on my days off..yet he spent his entire day of doing..*gasp* NOTHING!

I'm the type of person that if I see something that needs cleaning, and I'm not already involved in something else, I'll do it. He, on the other hand, sits around letting it build up, then demands I clean it. Am I the only one who finds it odd that they can make a mess and demand I clean it up. Yet if I make a mess, they throw a fit if I don't clean it up myself for making the mess?

Granted, my rent is not as much. But while they are working X ammount of hours a day. I'm working Y ammount of hours a day, plus going to classes for Z ammount of hours a day, AND doing homework for A ammount of hours a day. It only seems fair that they can clean up after themselves.

-Adredrin

[Skirmisher]

Life...alas is not fair.

And there are always choices. You can do as John did in the other thread and tell them exactly what you think and deal with the consequences or suck it up, and take what you consider to be a lack of consideration for as long as it takes to finish school and get out on your own.

[Ansherak]

Originally posted by The Edine
tell them to buy a dishwasher

You just strike me as...spoiled.

Please feel free to go on a rant and correct me.

D~

[ThisOtherKingdom]

If your parents are charging you $250 a month to live at home, that strikes me as overly expensive. I was sharing an apartment with a roomate and paying $350 a month. If they weren't charging you, I'd say do the dishes... but since they are, and on top of that you had no part in the meal, tell them to fuck off.

[peam]

Get a 3-11 job. You should be able to work your classes into being over before 3PM at pretty much any school.

[Sean]

Originally posted by peam
Get a 3-11 job. You should be able to work your classes into being over before 3PM at pretty much any school.

Not mine :(

[AnticorRifling]

Sell blood.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Do you pay for college on your own? Sounds to me like your parents are...

That being the case I'd say 250 bucks rent and doing chores, is hell cheaper than paying for college, food, rent and books. I'd have to agree with most the folks here that you need to suck it up some :x

[Jenisi]

I'm sorry but I'd have to say at the age under 25 no one should have to be living by themselves. I did it myself once, it's not THAT hard but it's pretty much pointless. I could afford it splitting everything with my ex, but I NEVER had a dime of extra spending cash and couldn't afford time to go back to finsh school because I was working so hard to keep up will bills.
I believe that if your in school tryin to improve your life so you can get up and get the hell out of your house, your parents should be fully supportive on just giving you a room to live out of.. And 250 a month rent is not dirt cheap.. if you have an apartment that's about half the cost if you have a roomate.
Utilities aren't that expensive if you watch what you use and aren't a air conditioner/heat freak. I still live at home and work and go to school (even though I no longer work full time now because I couldn't handle the stress anymore) and what I do to make up for living here, no I don't pay rent, but I find things I like to do to help out. I keep our bathroom sparkling clean, do their laundry, vaccum, and pick up dinner for everyone at least once or twice a week. You gotta find your own median, and I totally understand where he's coming from when he works there much and then somone wants him to clean up their mess cuz he lives there. I'd be upset too.
I hate it when people pull the "family" card on families that don't act like it (families). If you paid rent with a roomate or something and they asked you to do their dishes because you lived there I'd say fuck that.

[Myshel]

When the household is a working, going to school household, everyone has to pitch in. My youngest is the only one not working a lot. she has mostly school, so the brunt of the household chores fall to her. She bitches but she does it, because I'm a clean freak and I get nasty when the house is a mess. I do spend most of my day off deep cleaning, but its up to the kids to keep the house up though the week.

[Miss X]

damn, makes me really appriciate my parents for never charging me a penny for anything all through school, university and even now while I'm working. My Mum also still does all my cooking, cleaning, washing etc and hardly ever complains. w00t :heart: my lovely mummy!

[Trinitis]

Originally posted by Suppa Hobbit Mage
Do you pay for college on your own? Sounds to me like your parents are...

That being the case I'd say 250 bucks rent and doing chores, is hell cheaper than paying for college, food, rent and books. I'd have to agree with most the folks here that you need to suck it up some :x

Nope, Heh. I pay for college myself. (with help from fasa)

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Heh, so let me tell ya'll a story...

My parents treated my sister and I very differently growing up. Dad was old school -- boys pulled their own weight, girls got spoiled.

My sister got everything she ever really wanted growing up, car at 16, clothes, support and attention. Offer to pay for college and apt after highschool.

Me, I was told when I turned 16, that if I wanted a car, save up and buy one. When I graduated HS, dad gave me a BUMPER for the car I had saved for and bought. When I went to college, he said "Get a job, first semester is on me, after that its all you". So I busted ass in college, worked 3 jobs, was an RA in a dorm and made deans list three times. I graduated with a double major in chemistry and biology. I consider myself very successful in life, and I did it all on my own. No one can take that from me.

My sister, she dropped out of college and moved back home at 19, squirted out two kids and two marriages by 25. She FINALLY got her degree, after 14 years of off and on college, a year ago. She currently is working at a dog kennel my parents own, living in a house my parents own (with her 3 kids- had her 3rd 4 years ago), making just enough to pay for food/private Catholic school for her kids. If my parents didn't supply a house for free, and a job where she ccould work around her school schedule (when she was going), she'd be on the street.

Trust me, you learn a ton by having responsability when you are young. This generation of "I deserve it because...." doesn't appeal to me at all. Grow up, you are past the age where your parents are both legally and ethically responsible for your actions. Be an adult.

PS - I was insanely jealous of those in college that got everything handed to them by their parents, but that's life. My kids will also have college paid for, but they will be responsible for the 'extras' that everyone today seems to think is owed them.

[Miss X]

I think it depends on the perspective you are looking at life from. I've never denied being "spoilt" as some people would call it and I am very grateful to my mum for working damn hard for a good career so she could give us all the things we wanted, The thing is, she likes to do it. She has said it so many times, the reason she went back to get her degree and got a good job was so she could earn a decent wage to make sure we had good lives.

I worked hard at university because I knew she was paying a lot for me to be there and I didn't want to let her down. She did make me get a saturday job which was fine, I actually enjoyed it but I didn't get any of this so called satisfaction out of earning my own money. Money is just money to me, doesn't matter where it comes from.

I've never had any real responsibility of course, but my mum said she would rather shield me from that for as long as possible. I'm just as adult as anyone, I guess I just have less stress. I work now, on and off so I can pay for social type stuff but I will be going back to do my masters soon (w00t cant wait) and I guess I will continue to get the support I get now. I didn't ask for the easy life but since I have the opportunity to live it, why not?

Vx

[Edited on 31-3-04 by Miss X]

[DeV]

Adredrin I can totally see where your coming from (if you didnt use the dishes, hell, why should you wash them). Its the principal of the matter, not whether or not you should do chores because your living there. I was living at home with my parents for a while paying $250.00/month for rent and going to school, working, and still had to do chores despite being exhausted at the end of the day. It sucked, BUT those were the rules.
My solution was to move out, as quickly as possible. So, as I can totally see your point I also have to say if you dont like it, you know what you have to do. If you have no other choice, you should just suck it up for as long as you can, until you can get on your own again.

Just my 2 cents.

[TheEschaton]

I agree, living with your parents after 18 is like living with roommates. You do your own thing, and you clean up after yourself.


But of course, that means you buy your own food, you do your own laundry, etc. If you want to get out of doing their dishes, you can't have your parents do things like that.

That being said, beat your step-father into a pulp.

-TheE-

[Jenisi]

Yeah I buy anything I want.. cloathing, have my own food cuboard, any little "extras" I stay rather indepedant while living at home.

[DeV]

It sucks though when your also dealing with a step-parent or natural parent that can be an ass. My step-dad was actually very supportive while I was there. That makes alot of difference as well.

[Edaarin]

Heh...the only solution I can offer you is move. On campus housing is generally not expensive, and living on grounds supposedly increases the amount of financial aid you can get.

[Ryku]

Damn i sure as hell would never pay to live with my parents, but 250 is 70% of what you earn? Thats hardcore poor man, unless the cost of living where you are is uber ass low. So i guess you really dont have a choice do you? I mean your parents pretty much have your ass in the ringer, and i assume they are paying for your schooling too so that puts you in an even worse position not to help out when they tell you to. Fuck it man, just kill 'em and go play some gemstone.

[Trinitis]

Ryku - I earn about $350 / mo between my piddly job, and FASA. FASA pays in one lump sum every 3 months (which is basicly everything thats left over after my Tuition and books.) The cost of living for this area is actually pretty low, compaired to a big city setting. The 3 bedroom Appartment we live in is $625 / mo. Electric avarages about $80-100 / mo. We don't have to pay water or garbage. There are other Misc bills and such. But trust me, my parents are having NO problems with bills. My mother works for the state and makes @ $1400 / mo. My Step-father works at Hanford (Nuke Power plant here) and makes between $7000-$9000 / mo depending on if he works overtime or not (every day he works over time is an extra $500.)

TheE - I do my own wash. I pick up my own stuff. For the most part, I don't eat at home all that often. I eat what ever I can get cheep at the college after my last class, normally. If the parents make a big dinner, I normally feel bad if I don't join them for it. So Yes I partake of those. But I also do the dishes after those with no complaints whatso ever.

Edaarin - I go to a community college currently. There is no On campus housing. :)


Edit to add :

Ryku - No, I and FASA pay for my college. My parents foot no bills involving any of my classes, my school items needed, or transportation. I do that all myself.

[Edited on 3-31-2004 by LordAdredrin]

[Latrinsorm]

Good reason to be upset.

[Lord Deprav]

Originally posted by LordAdredrin
Ok, I just want peoples thoughts on this.


I'm currently working part time, and going to college full time. I'm at work / in classes from 7am, till 3:30 pm. I have no breaks..I have no lunch. Its bam bam bam all in a row. I also have a 30-45min commute from home to the college (which is also where I work). I normally get home around 4pm, and jump right into 1-2 hours of homework each night.

Now..the question. I'm I just being pissy, or do I have reason to be uspet when I'm asked to do a sink full of dishes after my homework. Said dishes not being messed up by me, nor did I partake in said meal.

-Adredrin, Currently pissed.

Hey dude listen to me. I haven't read any other posts. But let me tell you something bud. I go into work at 9:30 I get home around 9. I do dishes for an hour for my roomates and study for and hour. I have normally about an hour break total in between all my classes (15 mins each) and study my ass off there. So to basically sums this though up...I love it!! It keeps me busy and I can go to bed feeling like I have bettered myself and showed up my roomates. I have rised above them. I have always felt the less play in my day, the better I feel when I am all done! Look at what time I post. I have drank 3 beers tonight even though I have work tomorrow, I can go to bed feeling like a champ. Yah know why I feel like this???? It's because I know I will have somebody working for me sometime soon!!!

Deprav!!!!!!!!!!
who feels rich in life

[Edited on 4-1-2004 by Lord Deprav]

[Lord Deprav]

Originally posted by LordAdredrin
Ryku - I earn about $350 / mo between my piddly job, and FASA. FASA pays in one lump sum every 3 months (which is basicly everything thats left over after my Tuition and books.) The cost of living for this area is actually pretty low, compaired to a big city setting. The 3 bedroom Appartment we live in is $625 / mo. Electric avarages about $80-100 / mo. We don't have to pay water or garbage. There are other Misc bills and such. But trust me, my parents are having NO problems with bills. My mother works for the state and makes @ $1400 / mo. My Step-father works at Hanford (Nuke Power plant here) and makes between $7000-$9000 / mo depending on if he works overtime or not (every day he works over time is an extra $500.)

TheE - I do my own wash. I pick up my own stuff. For the most part, I don't eat at home all that often. I eat what ever I can get cheep at the college after my last class, normally. If the parents make a big dinner, I normally feel bad if I don't join them for it. So Yes I partake of those. But I also do the dishes after those with no complaints whatso ever.

Edaarin - I go to a community college currently. There is no On campus housing. :)


Edit to add :

Ryku - No, I and FASA pay for my college. My parents foot no bills involving any of my classes, my school items needed, or transportation. I do that all myself.

[Edited on 3-31-2004 by LordAdredrin]

man I just read this post and it made me laugh...yah know why?? cause you have no clue what it is truely like to be poor. You go to a community coolege...which cost 1/5 of a real college. trust me i know. i went to community than transferred. i pay for both, and like i said about my beer...i am happy to be able to have 3...god life is good

deprav

[Trinitis]

LOL - I never once claimed to be poor. I never once tried to defend my poorness. I was simply answering questions and giving more information on my current situation. Do I personally feel poor? Not really, because the few things in life I do want that can be gotten with money, I have.

-Adredrin

[Shari]

I think everyone is sortof missing the point. He didn't eat dinner, yet his step-dad who wasn't doing anything that day sat on his ass and did jack. I see your frustration. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do except possibly move into a house with like 3 roomates so the payment would be around the same you are paying now. Cept you'd have to factor in utilities most likely, and since you said you hardly eat food at home I'm assuming you have your meals on budget.

Or you could always let your parents know how you feel and tell them you'd be more than willing to partake in the chores that you are directly involved in...laundry, cleaning bathroom, doing dishes (if you ate that night), etc.

By the way, kudos to you on your job on paying for college. Community college or not, I still commend you. I'm going to school full time so I can graduate by December and I think if I had to have a job right now I'd kill myself.

Good luck to ya.

[Trinitis]

Originally posted by Jesae
I think everyone is sortof missing the point. He didn't eat dinner, yet his step-dad who wasn't doing anything that day sat on his ass and did jack. I see your frustration. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do except possibly move into a house with like 3 roomates so the payment would be around the same you are paying now. Cept you'd have to factor in utilities most likely, and since you said you hardly eat food at home I'm assuming you have your meals on budget.

Or you could always let your parents know how you feel and tell them you'd be more than willing to partake in the chores that you are directly involved in...laundry, cleaning bathroom, doing dishes (if you ate that night), etc.

By the way, kudos to you on your job on paying for college. Community college or not, I still commend you. I'm going to school full time so I can graduate by December and I think if I had to have a job right now I'd kill myself.

Good luck to ya.

Heh, its only a piddly job though. 2-3 hours a day. All it causes me to do is go to the college at 7am, insted of at 11:30 am.

[Fengus]

Originally posted by LordAdredrin
I guess I just view things like this differently.


Here is your answer, move out. Then you can live your life as you please, otherwise there seems no point in complaining how you are treated at home.

Shit, most parent specifically put pressure on their kids to get a clue and take a hike, thats what the rent is all about. I'd tell you one thing I would easily pay $250 a month for a nice house, someone to cook and clean most of the place and buy food and all the other chores, if all I had to do was clean dishes every once in a while.

You won't get any pity for the college angle anyway, that doesn't benefit anyone but yourself so you should consider that as what you choose to do in your free time.

[Mint]

LordAdredrin, there is a simple, effective solution...UNIONIZE. :D

PS okay, previewed my post and it isnt that funny but I am posting it anyway

[Lord Deprav]

Originally posted by Jesae
I think everyone is sortof missing the point. He didn't eat dinner, yet his step-dad who wasn't doing anything that day sat on his ass and did jack. I see your frustration. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do except possibly move into a house with like 3 roomates so the payment would be around the same you are paying now. Cept you'd have to factor in utilities most likely, and since you said you hardly eat food at home I'm assuming you have your meals on budget.

Or you could always let your parents know how you feel and tell them you'd be more than willing to partake in the chores that you are directly involved in...laundry, cleaning bathroom, doing dishes (if you ate that night), etc.

By the way, kudos to you on your job on paying for college. Community college or not, I still commend you. I'm going to school full time so I can graduate by December and I think if I had to have a job right now I'd kill myself.

Good luck to ya.

Its tough. But I am sure you have been there to. Good luck to you.

Deprav

[Souzy]

Dishes suck, esp. when you're in a shitty mood. But, suck it up. :P $250 is the cost of my gas bill for the month, lolz. I wish I still lived at home, NOT! I can't stand my family, but I'd be saving so much got damn money if I lived with them. :(

Originally posted by Ansherak

Originally posted by The Edine
tell them to buy a dishwasher

You just strike me as...spoiled.

Please feel free to go on a rant and correct me.

D~

naw, I dont have a dishwasher in my house except me.
Just giving him a good way to get out of washing dishes

[Trinitis]

Actually. We have a dishwasher..but they blocked it off and had the water hose removed from the back so it can't be used.

[Lord Deprav]

Originally posted by Lalana
Dishes suck, esp. when you're in a shitty mood. But, suck it up. :P $250 is the cost of my gas bill for the month, lolz. I wish I still lived at home, NOT! I can't stand my family, but I'd be saving so much got damn money if I lived with them. :(

heh..I love doing dishes when I am in a bad mood. I can think out my problems and accomplish something at the same time especially since I truely hate doing them. After I am done, I am out of my bad mood because I have accomplished something and have resolve the problems in my mind.

Deprav