View Full Version : The real difference between...
Hulkein
03-23-2004, 05:30 PM
Here's how you tell if you're a liberal, conservative, or a good ole Southerner.
------------------
How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners?
Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the
knife-and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you're an expert
shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does
the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that
would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think?
What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and
knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this
situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why
am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with
just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be
content to just wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could
my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is
this street so deserted?We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed
day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such
behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some
friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer :
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...
(followed by sounds of reloading)
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right, Dad . . I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...
Bobmuhthol
03-23-2004, 05:33 PM
Wow that sucked.
Hulkein
03-23-2004, 05:34 PM
Add one of your colorful paint pictures to satisfy yourself.
SpunGirl
03-23-2004, 05:34 PM
Hahahaha.
That was great.
-K
Suppa Hobbit Mage
03-23-2004, 05:36 PM
Most glocks hold 10 or even 17 rounds (think these are illegal now). He should have had 11 bangs (one in the chamber), therefor, that was not a true Southerner.
Edaarin
03-23-2004, 05:36 PM
1. Conservatives don't walk on the streets, apparently they're too good for that.
2. Liberals wouldn't carry a Glock, they're too pro anti-gun laws for that.
3. Southerners do anything to protect their sister, so they don't count.
Bobmuhthol
03-23-2004, 05:37 PM
<<Add one of your colorful paint pictures to satisfy yourself.
>>
Hulkein
03-23-2004, 05:38 PM
My dad carries a gun, he's a liberal.
Skirmisher
03-23-2004, 05:38 PM
Well it was your suggestion.
Skirmisher
03-23-2004, 05:39 PM
Originally posted by Hulkein
My dad carries a gun, he's a liberal.
So what went wrong?
I keeeed I keeeeed.:D
Galleazzo
03-23-2004, 05:50 PM
I'm a liberal and I pack. Got my S&W for serious business, only weighs 15 ounces and if I need more than 5 shots of .38 P+ I'm fucked anyway. Then I keep chuks and an old K-Bar in the truck.
TheEschaton
03-23-2004, 05:55 PM
I'm a liberal, and I'm not an anti-gun nut. Don't own one, though.
Do I wish the gun was never invented? Sure. Guns make death too easy. Inflicting death should never be an action that requires no thought.
-TheE-
Latrinsorm
03-23-2004, 07:03 PM
Originally posted by Galleazzo
I'm a liberal/dies
Nunchakus are what you mean by chuks? That would be.. unusual.. "Gimme your wallllWTF ARE THOSE OW OW OW"
As for the story, I would kill the guy just for looking at me. /gimme a chaw tobacker
Skirmisher
03-23-2004, 07:08 PM
This may come as a shock, but my name is Denise and I'm a liberal. Someone give Hulk some oxygen.
Now, I don't have a huge issue with ownership of guns, simply with the ease that people can buy them.
Yes i have target shot and probably will own one eventually, but I also think it should be nowhere as easy OR fast as it is to get one at present.
So there.:P
Ylena
03-23-2004, 07:28 PM
A good Southerner wouldn't carry a Glock....because they don't carry them at Wal-Mart.
Pagelinn
03-23-2004, 08:07 PM
A Political post? Oh wow, I'm overwhelmed.
Am I allowed to amp on Bush here, or would that be off topic?
Wait, I'm only going to do it if someone restrains Edine.
crazymage
03-23-2004, 08:48 PM
10 posts already...someones addicted
Hulkein
03-23-2004, 08:49 PM
Originally posted by Skirmisher
This may come as a shock, but my name is Denise and I'm a liberal. Someone give Hulk some oxygen.
Now, I don't have a huge issue with ownership of guns, simply with the ease that people can buy them.
Yes i have target shot and probably will own one eventually, but I also think it should be nowhere as easy OR fast as it is to get one at present.
So there.:P
:D
Hey hey, I'm not hounding on anyone for their stance on guns, I just read this and found it humerous so posted it here.
Artha
03-23-2004, 08:53 PM
Am I allowed to amp on Bush here
Yes, but I'm going for the throat.
Pagelinn
03-23-2004, 08:59 PM
Originally posted by Artha
Am I allowed to amp on Bush here
Yes, but I'm going for the throat.
Pardon my naivity, my dear, but DO YOU LISTEN TO HIM SPEAK?
Do you understand that man is more of a moron than Candor? (Though Candor makes fro great rp, that's more than I can say for BUSH)
You and I should talk. You'd hate me, but IT WOULD BE FUN!
He just keeps sending those troops to Iraq.
And he also thinks this is a religious war, or at least, he brainwashed half of america to think so with his poor use of labels. "Axis of Evil."
Dear Bush,
DEFINE EVIL. Oh, and wonderful Campagning. Its not like America is exploited enough, lets exploit one of our worser tragedies.
GREAT. I want you to lead my country.
Hulkein
03-23-2004, 09:00 PM
Bush '04.
Originally posted by Galleazzo
I'm a liberal and I pack. Got my S&W for serious business, only weighs 15 ounces and if I need more than 5 shots of .38 P+ I'm fucked anyway. Then I keep chuks and an old K-Bar in the truck.
Why do you need all of those? :?:
Vesi
Originally posted by Hulkein
Bush '04.
You left out the 'lost' part.
Maybe a gun that has a sedative instead of a bullet. You know... like they use on animals. Of course, that's not violent enough. What am I thinking?
Vesi just keeping the topic flowing
Artha
03-23-2004, 09:33 PM
DO YOU LISTEN TO HIM SPEAK?
Whenever possible. Not terribly often, since I don't watch much TV, but I try to at least catch reruns. He seems well spoken, usually. Most of the 'Bushisms' were made during the campaign in 2000, when he was speaking without a script in front of him. Try speaking for a week, and count every time you fumble a sentence. Now pretend you're doing it to millions of people.
Do you understand that man is more of a moron than Candor?
I disagree. You may dislike the man personally, but you don't get to the most powerful office of the most powerful country on the earth by being a moron.
DEFINE EVIL.
Definitions are good, but I like real world examples better. Anyone who does (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/04/14/iraq/scene/main549307.shtml) these (http://www.equityfeminism.com/articles/2000/000024.html) types (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/jackstraw1.html) of (http://www.globeandmail.com/special/attack/interactive/copy/copy_human_rights.html) things (http://www.insearchofpeace.org/World-Trade-Center/wtc-in-fire3.jpg) is (http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=topNews&storyID=4551138) evil (http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/world/iraq/uday.htm).
Pagelinn
03-23-2004, 09:52 PM
All I can say is-
I'm registering to vote basically so I feel like I helped keep Bush out of office again. :-(
I don't see much good he has done. And it's pretty easy to get into office if you have money, and connections. Politics isn't based on moral and ethics. It doesn't take intelligence to aquire power, that's obvious
Hulkein
03-23-2004, 09:59 PM
I think most of the stuff you dislike him for is fabrication.
Artha
03-23-2004, 10:08 PM
I'm registering to vote basically so I feel like I helped keep Bush out of office again. :-(
I wish I could vote, then I'd be all like, "Yeah, wellz i'm registering to vote to counter your vote so there." But I can't :'(
It doesn't take intelligence to aquire power, that's obvious
How so? Do you think anyone able to be powerful is going to not only befriend an idiot, but help him into power?
Skirmisher
03-23-2004, 10:09 PM
Sure....power behind the throne.
Not a new concept.
Artha
03-23-2004, 10:11 PM
So is it Bush you don't like, or Rove/Cheney/Enron/Whoever leftists have decided controls him this week?
Skirmisher
03-23-2004, 10:12 PM
Yes:thumbsup:
Artha
03-23-2004, 10:14 PM
WAY TO PULL A KERRY, WHICH ONE IS IT PLZ?
editted to add:
http://www.coxandforkum.com/archives/ForAndAgainst-X.gif
[Edited on 3-24-2004 by Artha]
Skirmisher
03-23-2004, 10:17 PM
I must first consult my bleeding heart liberal handbook and will get back to you.
[Edited on 3-24-2004 by Skirmisher]
Latrinsorm
03-23-2004, 11:44 PM
Originally posted by Artha
I wish I could vote, then I'd be all like, "Yeah, wellz i'm registering to vote to counter your vote so there." But I can't :'(
Don't worry dude, I've got your back. :)
TheEschaton
03-24-2004, 12:04 AM
d00d, Pagelinn is in NY and she looks like someone I know.
Please tell me you don't live in...Western....NY, Pagelinn.
Cause that would about ruin me.
-TheE-
Galleazzo
03-24-2004, 11:10 AM
Originally posted by LatrinsormNunchakus are what you mean by chuks? That would be.. unusual.. "Gimme your wallllWTF ARE THOSE OW OW OW"
Yep, got a nice teak 14 incher set.
The thing with chuks is you can break a guy's wrist out of chamber in less than a second and a half and you don't have to risk killing him like you would with a gun or a knife. Sometimes the option's come in handy. Using a knife yourself's a fucking crap shoot. I'm good and I'm fast, but the other guy might be better, and fuck, I ain't ever seeing 40 again.
Why do you need all of those?
Easy. Sometimes you need a non-lethal weapon, and sometimes you need something nasty and impressive looking (a 36LS fits in my palm) and sometimes you need to blow holes in the mofo.
Galleazzo
03-24-2004, 11:13 AM
Originally posted by Hulkein
I think most of the stuff you dislike him for is fabrication.
Sure, that's a lot.
Republican fuckers impeached Clinton. Why? Because he cheated on his wife and lied when he got caught. As if any of you wouldn't do the same if you ran around on your SO and got nailed.
Bush lied about WMD to get us in a fucking war. 500 US soldiers died so far to take away the weapons Saddam didn't really have. Now Saddam is a fucking mass murderer and criminal and had to go but Bush didn't have the balls to make the case and tell the truth. If anyone deserves impeachment it's him.
And don't anyone give me the "he didn't know" bullshit. It's his duty to know. If he isn't a liar, he's an incompetant fuck.
Tsa`ah
03-24-2004, 11:29 AM
THE Top reason Bush will not win in 04.
Log Cabin Republicans.
Think about how close the 00' election was, who actually one, and how many of those votes came from the LCRs.
Bush will not even get half of those votes in 04'.
This is one of those few occasions I'm thankful he's an idiot and doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut.
[Edited on 3-24-2004 by Tsa`ah]
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