Nikki's Mighty Thread of Editing

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I'm editing the novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo so I don't miss the deadline to get my manuscript/proof-copy made. I need a place to dump my to-do's and musings during this process or my head will get explodey.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Immediate concerns/to do/thoughts:

- Find (free) program for editing of this magnitude since MS word is just too damn clunky, and there's no way in hell I am printing all 126 pages (more if I double space it) and edit by hand. Need something where I can make notations but won't need to go back later and remove them from the manuscript itself.

- Keep the letter in the beginning from when everyone started getting sick and dying, or ditch it? Is it too much of a cliched device? Does he sound too emo or too cold in the letter? Does it make sense he's a doctor? Wouldn't he had died earlier on if he was from being exposed so much at his job?

- Do I need to flesh out how the virus killed?

- Flesh out Cora's childhood.
- Does her father get in trouble for feeling unease with the Government? Punished/killed? Her mother could react with sadness despite her lack of love, fueling Cora's naivete later on by believing incorrectly that Jude wouldn't turn her in/deep down cared for her.

- Mila gets chosen for the Sisterhood, but how? How do the trials work? Cora's relationship with her mother could be strained by her not being chosen, but in turn she would be closer to her father. She knows her father is relieved but doesn't know why and doesn't get what the Sisterhood really is. Does Mila just disappear and Cora never sees her again? How much does that fuck up Cora/effect her relationship?

- How much of Cora's childhood do I need to flesh out to really show how she got so twisted and fucked up? How do I show her progression out of innocence and into someone manipulative but fearful? Should I also include her and Jude being matched, etc even though they'd be adults when that happened? Need to work in that Jude comes from a family that are staunch supporters of the government, without any dalliances, which is partially why he was matched to Cora, to try to get her on the straight and narrow despite her family. Her mother agreed and cut off contact with Cora after she moved, but why?


- Maybe the dream she has about being burned should be shifted to when she knows she's pregnant but trying to hide it from everyone. Less cliche, makes more sense that she'd be freaked out by the prospect of being burned at the stake.

- Carefully/critically think about how many people percentage-wise as dying in the Tribulation. Perhaps immediately after the vaccine was released sex wasn't banned, only a generation later because the population explodes once again?

- More time needs to be spent at safe houses, and I need to flesh out the people who operate the safe houses a little more. I'm not sure if I should explain how the network works, or keep it mostly a mystery.

- Revise how John removes Cora's chip, as it is it's far too simple of a procedure for something that should be a lot harder.

- Michael's capture doesn't make sense, nor does making Cora walk alone to get to their meet-up point.. way too risky. I need to add in a person who can meet her and escort her to their rendezvous.

- Need to focus a little more on Cora's feelings about the baby inside of her beyond just the fear of being caught/the baby being killed. Is it plausible that she loves the baby straight off or would it make more sense that since they were approved and just a short bit away from having one legally, she'd feel resentful/angry/upset. There's not much movement or even planning by Cora on wtf to do once she hits Siberia. With all her down time, that makes no sense that she wouldn't have thought beyond omg babeh!

- Need to develop more what happened elsewhere in the world during the Tribulation, specifically Russia/Siberia and how they evolved after the virus was gotten under control.

- I'm not sure if I should keep Cora and John's relationship. Even if I decide to keep them apart by the end, I can still keep the tension and their encounters. John's obviously haunted by his lost wife and child- is that ultimately what attracts him to Cora? Would that make him emotionally unavailable? Would Cora recognize that and resist him, ultimately?

- Sex scenes need work, it's obvious how uncomfortable I am as the writer while writing them, at least the initial one between Cora and Jude. I'm not entirely sure how plausible the whole initial scenario is.

- Jude needs more development to make it more clear to the reader that he's very much a huge sadist and gets off on hurting people, otherwise Cora's manipulating him into having sex with her via fighting with him just seems random and weird.

- Epilogue is sloppy as shit, as is the time from when they manage to cross the Bering straight to the epilogue. I need to flesh out more what happened, how they survived inland and found a place to get situated.

- Clean up the tense escape scenes, revisit how believable each one is. Go back and find another way for her to initially escape the city without resorting to something that is TRULY immoral.


- Annnd locate the fucking cover Marie designed for me so that my proof copy is not visually fug.

More later.

[4a6c1]

http://farmersandwriters.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/funny-pictures-cat-threatens-to-edit-your-face.jpg

[Kuyuk]

My mother is a free lance copy editor.


Mostly does scientific journals and such...

[Tisket]

Are there zombies?

[Androidpk]

Are there zombies?

This.

[thefarmer]

Are there zombies?

http://sparksfromthewheel.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/austen-zombies.jpg

[Androidpk]

http://www.portlandart.net/archives/zombies.jpg

Bet that was fun.

[Hips]

http://sparksfromthewheel.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/austen-zombies.jpg

I have this, it's pretty rockin'. Just like Nikki's story, WUT.

[Tisket]

Everything is better with zombies.

[Androidpk]

Everything is better with zombies.

What about picnics?

[Cephalopod]

What about picnics?

Everything.

http://toddmarrone.com/wp-content/uploads/retro/zombies.jpg

No exceptions.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Nope, no zombies.. I considered it but I can't really figure out a fresh take on it.

I'll post my blurb/synopsis tomorrow if people are interested.

[Latrinsorm]

Find (free) program for editing of this magnitude since MS word is just too damn clunky, and there's no way in hell I am printing all 126 pages (more if I double space it) and edit by hand. Need something where I can make notations but won't need to go back later and remove them from the manuscript itself.Have you tried the Tools > Track Changes options? It has a little toolbar where you can bring all the notations in or out at once, and you can manually click individuals in or out.
I need to flesh out the people who operate the safe houses a little moreChristians! :D
I'll post my blurb/synopsis tomorrow if people are interested.Ya!

And definitely get someone you know to edit it with you. The Waste Land would be a piece of crap without Ezra Pound.

[Beguiler]

The Waste Land would


::le sigh:: one of my all-time favorites, evar! For shure in the top 5...

[Cephalopod]

This year for NaNo I used WriteWay (http://www.writewaypro.com/).

I also tried Liquid Story Binder (http://www.blackobelisksoftware.com/), which looks awesome, but it was totally not my style.

There are a bunch of other products geared specifically for managing the trouble that goes with large books, notations and the editing process, but many of them are tailored to a very specific style.

Unfortunately, it's hard to 'dump' a novel into these packages if you're not starting from scratch. Maybe check them out for next year.

Go go NaNoEdMo! I'm waiting until March, just to let things stew more.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I also tried LSB and did not like it either :/ My friend used Scrivener and loved it but alas, I use a PC.

I have a few people who are helping me edit, though they admittedly don't get much about the genre. I was in a group specifically for editing/reviews/swaps of sci-fi manuscripts but they self-admittedly do not understand soft sci-fi. Maybe I'll use the NaNo forums to find someone to swap and critique.

Nachos- Are you going to actually try to do all your editing in a month?!

[Clove]

Everything is better with zombies.Especially sex.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Alright, a summary:


Even sixty years after a viral pandemic swept the globe, bottlenecking the human population down to a pitiful few million, people are still afraid. The rigid theocracy that is the former United States, now the Holy Northern Empire, keeps a steel fist around its fearful population.

Every Wednesday, the public executions are televised and broadcast to the country. Those caught drinking are strapped to boards and drowned. Those caught reading forbidden books, listening to music, dancing, or consorting inappropriately with the opposite (or same) gender are half-buried and then stoned. And anyone who gets pregnant without the sanction and assistance of the state-run fertility program is burned at the stake.. and not after they have a chance to give birth to the child, deemed impure and fit only for purification by flame.

Cora Hawley grew up just like all of her peers, in an arranged household that was calm on the surface but rife with resentment and strife boiling just underneath. Now as a grown woman, she battles with her own unhappily arranged marriage to her highly incompatible husband, Jude. As their toxic relationship reaches a fever pitch, they dip into the dangerous, not to mention highly forbidden, territory of sex. Cora and Jude struggle to gain the upper hand, using lust and hate as weapons in their arsenals to manipulate and fight for control over their cloistered existence. Unfortunately for Cora, it results in dire consequences, consequences that leave her with very few choices. Accept her fate and be sacrificed to the fire like the government she’s grown to respect and fear dictates, or flee and try to save herself and the baby growing inside of her?


..

[AnticorRifling]

So you're righting a book about the current state of the Middle East?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Har har.

[Cephalopod]

Boobs Hawley grew up just like all of her peers, in an arranged household that was calm on the surface but rife with resentment and strife boiling just underneath. Now as a grown woman, she battles with her own unhappily arranged marriage to her highly incompatible husband, Jude. As their toxic relationship reaches a fever pitch, they dip into the dangerous, not to mention highly forbidden, territory of sex. Boobs and Jude struggle to gain the upper hand, using lust and hate as weapons in their arsenals to manipulate and fight for control over their cloistered existence. Unfortunately for Boobs, it results in dire consequences, consequences that leave her with very few choices. Accept her fate and be sacrificed to the fire like the government she’s grown to respect and fear dictates, or flee and try to save herself and the baby growing inside of her?

I made some improvements to your summary.

[4a6c1]

So you're righting a book about the current state of the Middle East?

I get a massive hardon when somebody spells worse than me.

That is all.

Carry on with the editing of the book with words that I cant spell in them.

[Androidpk]

Broner!

[AnticorRifling]

I get a massive hardon when somebody spells worse than me.

That is all.

Carry on with the editing of the book with words that I cant spell in them.

Holy shit that was bad. In my defense it was 5:02pm which is 2min after I should have GTFO of the office.

[Tisket]

haha AR pwn'd himself. That happens so seldom that it deserves a moment of silent contemplation....


HAHAHAHA

[AnticorRifling]

haha AR pwn'd himself. That happens so seldom that it deserves a moment of silent contemplation....


HAHAHAHA Actually it happens fairly often.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I made some improvements to your summary.

I've mulled it over, gonna stick with Cora.

[NocturnalRob]

If you really want me to get all Grammar Nazi on you, I will.

I just finished editing (content, syntax, etc) a friend's trilogy. It was about 200,000 words of swords, magic, and blood. I will never grow up. I refuse.

And isn't the ABNA deadline February 7th?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Is ABNA that contest thingy where anyone can submit a manuscript, and a winner(s??) will be published?

My friend told me about that but there's no way in hell this would be remotely readable let alone ready by then. It's only at 51k words, and I skipped most of Cora's childhood because I had writer's block and couldn't shut off the 'inner editor' to just get the words out.

I don't think it's ready for a full, all-over edit. It's only a very rough draft, but once I get the next draft if you'd like to tear it to pieces that would be appreciated.

[NocturnalRob]

yeah, that's ABNA.

and yeah, i'd be happy to.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

More editing, running into problems with Cora's childhood.

In a world where people are in constant fear of catching a virus and dying, where most art forms and books are outlawed (music and dancing is) for extreme religious reasons, TV is ran by the state and relatively dry.. what does a 13 year old do for fun? Would it be feasible for her to play with friends after school? What would they play/do? Would sports be allowed?

I need more scenarios to develop young Cora and her friendship with Mila, but it has to make sense and can't detract from the mood.. imagining what constitutes as 'fun' is rough.

[Whimsi]

Are you going to actually post an excerpt that we can read? There is a mountain range sized pile of poorly written but well plotted dud manuscripts out there somewhere.

[Androidpk]

She hangs out at the milk bars with the ultraviolent gangbangers.

[Latrinsorm]

In a world where people are in constant fear of catching a virus and dying, where most art forms and books are outlawed (music and dancing is) for extreme religious reasons, TV is ran by the state and relatively dry.. what does a 13 year old do for fun? Would it be feasible for her to play with friends after school? What would they play/do? Would sports be allowed?Rebellions petty or personal enough to avoid, you know, summary execution. Can she keep a diary?

On the topic of sports, have you seen Rollerball? I'm sure you could come up with something much more barbaric that could be right up the Government's alley, and then make everyone have to be a fan, or participate in a children's version.

Maybe they don't have leisure, maybe kids spend all their time under suspicious eyes, especially each others'. I don't know if any children's autobiographical material exists from horrific regimes of the past, maybe you could look for that? Wouldn't that be cheerful?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Are you going to actually post an excerpt that we can read? There is a mountain range sized pile of poorly written but well plotted dud manuscripts out there somewhere.

Sure. I made this mostly just to keep track of my thoughts during the process, but if people actually want to read this tripe I can post snippets as I go.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Rebellions petty or personal enough to avoid, you know, summary execution. Can she keep a diary?

No way she'd keep a diary.


On the topic of sports, have you seen Rollerball? I'm sure you could come up with something much more barbaric that could be right up the Government's alley, and then make everyone have to be a fan, or participate in a children's version.

This is not something I considered but has a lot of possibilities now that I come to think of it and could tie into my theme of how rage/anger seems to be the only allowable emotion. Thank you for the idea!


Maybe they don't have leisure, maybe kids spend all their time under suspicious eyes, especially each others'. I don't know if any children's autobiographical material exists from horrific regimes of the past, maybe you could look for that? Wouldn't that be cheerful?
This is her life currently.. school, home-work, and watching her parents eat away at each other, perverting her view of how a normal 'relationship' exists and forming her ideals and opinions that turn her into the fucked up adult later in the story. The problem is that it's exceptionally boring and becomes monotonous, plus transitions aren't too smooth into new age periods and so forth.

Definitely going to think a lot more about the second suggestion.

[Androidpk]

Maybe they don't have leisure, maybe kids spend all their time under suspicious eyes, especially each others'. I don't know if any children's autobiographical material exists from horrific regimes of the past, maybe you could look for that? Wouldn't that be cheerful?

Damn. You should help me come up with a subject for my research paper.

[Stry]

More editing, running into problems with Cora's childhood.

In a world where people are in constant fear of catching a virus and dying, where most art forms and books are outlawed (music and dancing is) for extreme religious reasons, TV is ran by the state and relatively dry.. what does a 13 year old do for fun? Would it be feasible for her to play with friends after school? What would they play/do? Would sports be allowed?

I need more scenarios to develop young Cora and her friendship with Mila, but it has to make sense and can't detract from the mood.. imagining what constitutes as 'fun' is rough.


I would think she would have a friend or two to get into trouble with even with alot of supervision. Kids at that age don't let themselves get bored especially the more restricted they are. They sneak out (or I did) and sneak around. They think they should be treated as adults and thus get themselves into trouble.

Maybe they have a little secret club, or meetings.. and some stuff happens that messes with her later in life?

(que the flashback scene... dun dun dun) ;)

Just throwing out random thoughts.