So, you've decided to kill yourself...

[Celephais]

... what awesome and fun way would you shuffle off the mortal coil?!

Post here all your best suggestions!


I don't understand suicide... have these people tried video games? If you've had enough with the world at least go out on one of those 'gamed for 72 hours strait until their heart gave out from exhaustion' type of things.

There are plenty of fun ways to remove yourself from the world, the least you could do is something ridiculously stupid that might get you a darwin award. Dress up like batman and run around trying to stop crime. Build your own space shuttle. Go to an all you can eat and don't stop. Get a pterodactyl suit and jump off the grand canyon. Or do the world a favor an take out carrot top.


I'm going to go out by injecting heroin into my balls and then having sex with lots of random women. Then when I ejaculate it will be heroin and they will be addicted to my sex and will wander the world trying to find that which gives them such a high from sex but they will fail. And I will be a legend.


Maybe these people are killing themselves are linked to lack of creativity, because that's brilliant. Dr. Kevorkian was an idiot ... if I was an assisted suicide doctor I'd become the go-to guy because I'd be telling people all these great ways to off themselves.

... AR I would hire you as a consultant.

[AnticorRifling]

One of the best I've read:

You go up to the top of a roof, string a piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level. Tie a cord around your feet and the other end to the building so that when you fall you'll be above the sidewalk when it's fully stretched. Then you put super glue on your hands, put your arms around the front of the piano wire and the back and place your hands on your head. Then lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows. When the cord around your feet goes taut you'll be hanging upside down with no head...except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere. And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE. Credit to <evilada>

[Emislity]

... what awesome and fun way would you shuffle off the mortal coil?!

Post here all your best suggestions!

One of my all time favorites is the movie "The Perfect Murder." I'm not interested in taking my life though, for the record.

[Stanley Burrell]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IipjhaVWlg

[Kuyuk]

Try to rob the federal reserve

If you die, it's OK, you planned on it.

If you make it, great, you're probably rich... until they catch you, then you'll be dead! Mission accomplished.

[Sam]

I always thought it would be neat to find someone I really dislike.. maybe someone helping to inspire the suicide, and use a large caliber handgun against the back of my head to blow my face and brains all over them.

[ElvenFury]

High speed car chase. Preferably in a stolen Ferrari.

[ElvenFury]

http://www.freewebs.com/willywill3/David_Carradine_.jpg

Suffocating while spewing my baby juice into an Asian hooker is a close second.

R.I.P. you sick fuck.

[ViridianAsp]

Demolition Derby, without all the safety regulations.

Not only do you die in a Fire-filled spectacle that entertains everyone, you might take a few others with you.

[WRoss]

I always thought it would be neat to find someone I really dislike.. maybe someone helping to inspire the suicide, and use a large caliber handgun against the back of my head to blow my face and brains all over them.

Ehh, I think I am supposed to ask you if you are planning on causing any harm to yourself.

[Sam]

hey ask Cel, he started it

[Drew]

Attempt to jump the grand canyon on a motorcycle. Winner either way.

[Jorddyn]

Dunno how I'd do it, but I'd definitely take someone out with me.

[Tisket]

I don't know how I'd do the deed but my boss better watch out.

Just kidding. I like my boss. Instead I'd probably take out the coworker who stands too close when she talks and has bad halitosis.

[WRoss]

I'm not touching this one with a ten foot pole.

http://www.site4-sp.com/USERIMAGES/KillingGrandpa.jpg

[Jorddyn]

I don't know how I'd do the deed but my boss better watch out.

Just kidding. I like my boss. Instead I'd probably take out the coworker who stands too close when she talks and has bad halitosis.

Ooh, you just gave me a good idea.

There's this machine at work called a feather picker. What it really does is taking turkeys that have just been boiled and turn them around in a giant cheese-grater like machine.

You could all be having a Jorddyn sandwich.

[Cephalopod]

Something tells me everyone who posts in this thread is going to be called as a witness at some later date...

[Androidpk]

One of the best I've read:

You go up to the top of a roof, string a piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level. Tie a cord around your feet and the other end to the building so that when you fall you'll be above the sidewalk when it's fully stretched. Then you put super glue on your hands, put your arms around the front of the piano wire and the back and place your hands on your head. Then lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows. When the cord around your feet goes taut you'll be hanging upside down with no head...except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere. And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE. Credit to <evilada>

That is so wrong yet so damn hilarious.

[Celephais]

Nick Swardson (however you spell it, is that right?) has a decent idea... (paraphrased) walk into a crowded area, yell "Who fucking farted!" and then blow your head off with a gun. With any luck people will be terrified of the noxious gas so bad it was better to take your own life than continue to smell it.

[radamanthys]

Learn to blacksmith.
Purchase grizzly or polar bears.
Make armor for bears.
Have bears go hungry for a while.
Put bear army in back of truck. Let bear army go free in highly populated area.

Dress as Napoleon.
Try to ride biggest bear 'to victory'.

[Celephais]

Learn to blacksmith.
Purchase grizzly or polar bears.
Make armor for bears.
Have bears go hungry for a while.
Put bear army in back of truck. Let bear army go free in highly populated area.

Dress as Napoleon.
Try to ride biggest bear 'to victory'.
I like it! It's like when you buff up rats in the catacombs and watch them murder noobs.

Trying to search for a picture I came across this
http://weirdstuffthatsells.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/carebeararmor.jpg
(I then tried to go to glamguns.com and typed in clamguns.com ... I closed my browser before I got to the results. As for glamguns, Jhina you would love it)

[Drew]

Learn to blacksmith.
Purchase grizzly or polar bears.
Make armor for bears.
Have bears go hungry for a while.
Put bear army in back of truck. Let bear army go free in highly populated area.

Dress as Napoleon.
Try to ride biggest bear 'to victory'.

http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s138/thebatman42/BearCalvary.jpg

[Celephais]

I wonder how hard it would be to teach a bear to let you ride it..

Speaking of which, the movie Grizzly Man, now that was a brilliant suicide by a man who clearly had enough with life on this earth.

[Geshron]

Learn to blacksmith.
Purchase grizzly or polar bears.
Make armor for bears.
Have bears go hungry for a while.
Put bear army in back of truck. Let bear army go free in highly populated area.

Dress as Napoleon.
Try to ride biggest bear 'to victory'.

I like how you think.

[Eoghain]

What's the funniest way to kill yourself IG?

[radamanthys]

What's the funniest way to kill yourself IG?

breakgs.cmd?

[Drunken Durfin]

What's the funniest way to kill yourself IG?

I saw a clip earlier today of someone attempting to enchant a naganita on the dais. It blew up pretty hard, killed the caster and several people in the immediate area took some severe damage. Made me chuckle.

[Kuyuk]

MS the dias on thranksgiving, or thrakmas, or another thraking holiday when there's more than 5 people

[Atlanteax]

This made me think of this thread:

http://detnews.com/article/20100115/METRO/1150438

Another meaning of "taking people with you" =/

[Clove]

A locked room.
1,000 starving weasels.
5 gallons of honey.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Fly to Iraq. Purchase explosive diapers. Find terrorist camp. Run into camp and yell God is the Greatest while lighting diaper. Fly home when it's a dud.

If I was going to off myself, I'd do it solo, but in a quickly found place so I didn't bloat up and no head wounds plz, wanna have an open casket. Actually I want to be cremated. Wait, I'm not sure. Maybe buried but no casket, so I rejuvenate the earth rather than sit in a box forever. So many decisions.

[Celephais]

Fly to Iraq. Purchase explosive diapers. Find terrorist camp. Run into camp and yell God is the Greatest while lighting diaper. Fly home when it's a dud.

If I was going to off myself, I'd do it solo, but in a quickly found place so I didn't bloat up and no head wounds plz, wanna have an open casket. Actually I want to be cremated. Wait, I'm not sure. Maybe buried but no casket, so I rejuvenate the earth rather than sit in a box forever. So many decisions.
If you want to be useful might I suggest organ donation. Donate away what you legally can, then find some hospital that has a kid in need of a heart transplant (um, check blood types first), dress up as elmur fudd, cram an M80 up your nose, light it, and run into the kids terminal cancer ward, yell 'you wrrrasclly wwwabbit!' ... profit?

If you're looking to be plants or whatever, find out where Versailles gets their mulch, and jump into a mulcher.

[NocturnalRob]

Shark wrestling

[Celephais]

Bear fucker.

[NocturnalRob]

We gonna have a party when you hit 10,000 and your epeen goes quintuple digits?

[Stanley Burrell]

That would be a good reason for a party.

[Carl Spackler]

Bear fucker.


Excuse Me, Bear Fucker, do you need assistance?

http://thecia.com.au/reviews/s/images/supertroopers-5.jpg

[Stanley Burrell]

Excuse Me, Bear Fucker, do you need assistance?

http://thecia.com.au/reviews/s/images/supertroopers-5.jpg

That guy must have a pocketful of horses, dayumn.

[Warriorbird]

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/a/ac/Moreselfpwnagepls.gif

[NocturnalRob]

Budd Dwyer, former PA state treasurer. Fucking insane way to go out.

[Celephais]

We gonna have a party when you hit 10,000 and your epeen goes quintuple digits?
Hellz yeah! Oh... you just hit 7000, congrats!

[Stanley Burrell]

Get a bunch of Romans to chase me for being a Jew and then do a backflip off of Masada.

O.K.

[Back]

Meteor strike. I would welcome it with open arms.

Kiss kiss baby.

[radamanthys]

Meteor strike. I would welcome it with open arms.

Kiss kiss baby.

That's not really killing yourself.

[Back]

That's not really killing yourself.

Thats just not in my vocab.

If I go its not going to be of my design.

[radamanthys]

Thats just not in my vocab.

If I go its not going to be of my design.

I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna dress as Napoleon and lead an armored bear army through times square, either. Thread is just for fun, ya' know?

[TheEschaton]

Thats just not in my vocab.

If I go its not going to be of my design.

I'm sure it won't, someone will most certainly kill you.

[Back]

Thread is just for fun, ya' know?

Dur! But you’re getting all serious.

Fine.

If I were going to commit suicide it would have to have some benefit for someone... if an alien race were to invade the solar system and enslave the human race and the only way to beat them was to hand deliver a nuke to the mothership I would be the first one to volunteer.

[Kuyuk]

Didja think of that all by yourself or did you watch Independence Day yesterday?

[Back]

Didja think of that all by yourself or did you watch Independence Day yesterday?

Nah. Star Trek. I would happily go Kirk style.

[4a6c1]

A locked room.
1,000 starving weasels.
5 gallons of honey.

Oh. My. God.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

1. More fun with piano wire: get a convertible (rental or otherwise) and remove the front windshield with a sledgehammer. Roll down all windows, keep top down.

2. Find a small alley that spills into a busy main road. Back car into alley.

4. String piano wire across opening of alley at neck height. Make sure it's tight!

5. Get in car. Gas it out of alley into main thoroughfare.

6. Get hit by oncoming traffic/head goes flying.

7. ????

8. Profit.

[pabstblueribbon]

Gotta add this.


Lick a hooker's ass:
Manliness: 0 Style: 1 Awesomeness: 1 Mess: 10
What you need: a hooker, $0.75.

How to do it: find a hooker and inquire about her "ass buffet." If she doesn't know what you're talking about, punch her. If she does know what you're talking about, she shouldn't charge you more than 75 cents to lick her ass. You may even get away with not having to pay her since technically it's not sex (unless you're gay, but I'm not sure if it counts if it's a woman). Fair warning: not paying a hooker is considered shoplifting. Once you've done the (mis)deed, you may want to have some alcohol nearby. Make sure it's something strong like turpentine, because you'll be tasting a mouth full of funk and hookers don't always shit properly depending on their clientele. The tingling feeling in your mouth means the disease is working. Just sit back and relax while your penis falls off and you break out in hives. Then just wait a few months and if the other diseases don't get to you first, the AIDS will. Talk about a cheap suicide! At 75 cents, you can't afford not to kill yourself!

[NocturnalRob]

Hellz yeah! Oh... you just hit 7000, congrats!
woohoo! it's a fucking party!

[Cephalopod]

Like Brad Delp. (http://www.guitarworld.com/article/brad_delp_details_emerge_about_his_tragic_suicide)

That, or death by snu-snu (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snu+snu).

[AnticorRifling]

Poor Brad Delp, it must be rough when your fifties don't fit in your wallet and your diamond shoes are too tight.

[Killer Kitten]

Shot by Angelina Jolie in a jealous rage.

[AnticorRifling]

Shot by Angelina Jolie in a jealous rage.

You adopted a brown kid and she got jealous, not sure how that's a good way to go.

[Killer Kitten]

You adopted a brown kid and she got jealous, not sure how that's a good way to go.

Ha ha ha ha, damnit it won't let me rep you.

And besides, she who dies with the most brown kids wins.