Uberhoe

[thefarmer]

Finally got it back from the enchanters today, and figured I'd show it off. I have the points lined up for the 8x, then I'll be looking for the 9x and 10x to finish it off.


a golvern alloy-edged hoe
With a haft crafted from thick length ironwood and strengthened by carefully placed smooth iron bands, the steel-bladed hoe appears to be in good working condition. Polished to a dark brown sheen, the natural whorls of the wood grain are visible beneath the thick iron circles. A thick edging of golvern alloy adds a touch of bright embellishment to the blade. The only other adornment is a sigil of alloy inlay on the end of the ironwood pole, displaying the mark of the Farmer's Guild. You also notice a small enchanter's glyph.

You carefully inspect your alloy-edged hoe.

After a careful inspection you determine that a golvern alloy-edged hoe requires skill in polearms to use effectively. It appears to be a modified jeddart-axe.

It looks like this item has been mainly crafted out of steel.


As you sing, you feel a faint resonating vibration from the alloy-edged hoe in your hand...

It has a bonus of +35 from a normal hoe, and the way it vibrates in tune with your voice tells you that it requires skill in polearms to use effectively.

Scripts from CCF:

Vivaldi leans wearily against his alloy-edged hoe, letting it support some of his weight.
>
In an impressive display of manual dexterity, Vivaldi spins his alloy-edged hoe in front of him, forming a deadly wall.
>
Vivaldi draws his alloy-edged hoe towards the center of his body, placing both hands along the length of the hoe.
>
Vivaldi plants the tip of his alloy-edged hoe firmly on the ground and rotates it in his hand, securing a more comfortable grip.
>
Vivaldi raises his alloy-edged hoe high overhead, pointing it toward the heavens.
>
Vivaldi raises his alloy-edged hoe in the air and points it at you, training his gaze on you with a narrow-eyed stare.

[kgolfer]

Nice hoe!

AK

[Danical]

I really like to see weapons slowly come to fruition.

With pps now it's more of a possibility or perhaps less overall now that you can't ET to 10x.

At any rate, it seems like a mattock would have been the best conversion to hoe. Did they reject that possibility?

[thefarmer]

I would have loved it if I could have made a more mechanically powerful weapon into a hoe, jeddart-axes are pretty shitty, but a GM changing an existing weapon into a hoe would never happen. Even in GS3, when the 'rules' were less stringent I couldn't get it done.

The only reason I have this one was due to the invasion 15+ years ago that had creatures using them. Right now, as far as I know, there's only the one I posted, an unaltered/unenchanted one I have, and one that a friend owns.

[NocturnalRob]

placing both hands along the length of the hoe.

That's gonna run you about $20.

[4a6c1]

This thread had so much potential. Too bad it is about an actual hoe. :no:

Lucky for you I brought the plaid.



http://i820.photobucket.com/albums/zz130/MomtoGabriel/hoe10.jpg

[CrystalTears]

I dig farmer gear. Was trying to deck my ranger out in it before I quit.

[That Jay]

Does the hoe have a script for when you slap it?

"The hoe coughs up twenty more dollars that she had been holding out on you!"

[waywardgs]

is there a "choke hoe" script?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pklq_ShnbA

[Belnia]

Need a clip of you asking the hoe where your silver is.

[Parkbandit]

I thought this was going to be a thread about Emislutty.

[NocturnalRob]

hahaha...i think that's Überhoe.

[Sile]

This would be a great script for it...


Vivaldi draws his alloy-edged hoe closer for a kiss. You feel the bitter taste of bile creep up in the back of your throat.

[Warriorbird]

We don't love them hoes.

[TheEschaton]

+35 from a normal hoe, that's getting pricey.

[Barundar]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoMspJqqVcA

[Archigeek]

Wait, I thought the uber-hoe was joining Fox News?

[Aanton]

Stop making fun of my ex-governer!




(Just kidding. You guys can keep her.)

[waywardgs]

Hah, just found this song.

Superhoe!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7hA3GupuEc

[Swami71]

Post some logs of that hoe in action?

Or is it purely a show hoe?

[AestheticLife]

Post some logs of that hoe in action?

Prepare yourself for the worst case of plinking you've ever seen!

...or a nicely edited log with squishy kills made to look even more impressive by low endrolls/non-acknowledged swings on prone victims.


Either way, I second the request!

[thefarmer]

Post some logs of that hoe in action?

Or is it purely a show hoe?

No, it'll be my main paladin bonded weapon. When I get it back from the guy who did the 8x in a day or so, I'll post some screenshots.

[thefarmer]

As you sing, you feel a faint resonating vibration from the alloy-edged hoe in your hand, and you learn something about it...

The first thing that strikes you about the hoe is the weight, which is about 5 pounds. In your best estimation, it's worth about 2,050,000 silvers. You can also tell that there is some type of metal in the structure of the alloy-edged hoe.

As you sing, you feel a faint resonating vibration from the alloy-edged hoe in your hand...

It has a bonus of +40 from a normal hoe, and the way it vibrates in tune with your voice tells you that it requires skill in polearms to use effectively.

>go arch
[Shrine of Heroes]
Snow white vultite walls tower high overhead in this eight-sided room, their enormous size dwarfing only slightly the magnificent granite statue that stands in the center of the structure. Softly colored light filters in from huge stained glass windows set into each wall, creating a kaleidoscope of color dancing across the rich grey slate floors.
Obvious exits: out
>sense
Utilizing your familiarity with the divine, you sense the distinct presence of Kai's influence in the area.
Roundtime: 3 sec.
R>nod slow
You nod slowly.
>gaze up
You gaze heavenward.
>point hoe
You raise your alloy-edged hoe high overhead, pointing it toward the heavens.
>kneel
You kneel down.
K>prepare 1604
You trace a simple symbol as you reverently call on your patron in the prayer for Purify...
Your spell is ready.
K>cast hoe
You gesture at a golvern alloy-edged hoe.
Silvery tendrils rise up and wreathe their way around the alloy-edged hoe before sinking into its surface.
Cast Roundtime 3 Seconds.
K>prepare 1625
You trace a simple symbol as you reverently call on your patron in the prayer for Sanctify...
Your spell is ready.
K>cast hoe
You gesture at a golvern alloy-edged hoe.
As you call upon the power of Kai, a steely silver shaft of light suddenly envelops your alloy-edged hoe. Tendrils of energy begin to flow out of it and wrap themselves around you, as if surrounding you in an ethereal embrace. Your awareness of your surroundings fade as you begin to experience visions of the alloy-edged hoe from its moment of creation to the present. After a brief moment, your vision returns to normal. The shaft of light and tendrils of energy are gone, but somehow you still feel a lingering bond between you and the alloy-edged hoe.
Silvery tendrils rise up from your alloy-edged hoe and quickly dissipate.
Cast Roundtime 3 Seconds.
K>nod
You nod.

[LadyLaphrael]

It has a bonus of +40 from a normal hoe....

So you're a pimp who caters to the GILF community?

[thefarmer]

So you're a pimp who caters to the GILF community?

Don't be hatin'!

[Back]

That is one remarkable hoe you have...

[Drew]

The golvern alloy edging is really goofy to me. Is it a farming implement or isn't it?

[thefarmer]

Post some logs of that hoe in action?

Or is it purely a show hoe?

The ground melts and churns as an Illoke elder rises to the surface!
!>look
[Thanatoph Bowels, Tunnel]
A soft hum vibrates in the air, growing in volume and tremor to the east. Its accompanying charge crackles from time to time as dust motes swirl about in slow motion. A short north-to-south passageway runs parallel to the hub of the quatrefoil. You also see an Illoke elder and the Vivaldi disk.
Obvious exits: north, east, south, west
!>stance off
You are now in an offensive stance.
!>feint eld
[Roll result: 155 (open d100: 74) Bonus: 8]
You feint to the left, the Illoke elder buys the ruse and twists awkwardly to block the blow that never came!
Roundtime: 3 sec.
!R>
You motion forcefully as you confidently call on your patron in the invocation for Divine Strike...
Your spell is ready.
You gesture at an Illoke elder.
A pillar of crimson radiance manifests around an Illoke elder.
CS: +337 - TD: +317 + CvA: +25 + d100: +14 == +59
Warded off!
With a faint flicker, the crimson radiance fades away.
Cast Roundtime 3 Seconds.
!>
You motion forcefully as you confidently call on your patron in the invocation for Divine Strike...
Your spell is ready.
You gesture at an Illoke elder.
A pillar of crimson radiance manifests around an Illoke elder.
CS: +337 - TD: +317 + CvA: +25 + d100: +95 == +140
Warding failed!
Waves of sacred energy tear through the Illoke elder's body!
... 31 points of damage!
... 5 points of damage!
Jarring blow to the Illoke elder's back.
The Illoke elder is driven to his knees!
Cast Roundtime 3 Seconds.
!>stance off
You are now in an offensive stance.
!>kill
You swing a golvern alloy-edged hoe at an Illoke elder!
AS: +528 vs DS: +217 with AvD: +28 + d100 roll: +19 = +358
... and hit for 101 points of damage!
Right kneecap smashed into pulp.
The Illoke elder is knocked to the ground!
The Illoke elder is stunned!
Roundtime: 5 sec.
!R>kill
You swing a golvern alloy-edged hoe at an Illoke elder!
AS: +528 vs DS: +207 with AvD: +28 + d100 roll: +67 = +416
... and hit for 178 points of damage!
A mighty blow cleaves a swath through the Illoke elder's back, taking the spine with it.
The Illoke elder grumbles in pain one last time before lying still.
An Illoke elder glances around, looking a bit less confident.
The brilliant luminescence fades from around an Illoke elder.
A luminescent aura fades from around an Illoke elder.
The bright luminescence fades from around an Illoke elder.
Roundtime: 5 sec.
!R>loot
You search the Illoke elder.
You discard the elder's useless equipment.
He didn't carry any silver.
He had nothing else of value.
An Illoke elder's body shudders and crumbles into itself in a mass of rough grey stone.


You swing a golvern alloy-edged hoe at an Illoke elder!
AS: +513 vs DS: +334 with AvD: +28 + d100 roll: +67 = +274
... and hit for 72 points of damage!
Blow to chest causes the Illoke elder's heart to skip a beat.
The Illoke elder is stunned!
Roundtime: 5 sec.


You swing a golvern alloy-edged hoe at an earth elemental!
AS: +528 vs DS: +166 with AvD: +12 + d100 roll: +90 = +464
... and hit for 79 points of damage!
Blow to chest causes the earth elemental's heart to skip a beat.
Roundtime: 5 sec.

[NocturnalRob]

Yeah, cleave that back, bitch.

[thefarmer]

Sadie scroll just turned in for 9x enchant, now to wait.

edit:


Thanks to Nayolan, it's at 9x now.

As you sing, you feel a faint resonating vibration from the alloy-edged hoe in your hand, and you learn something about it...

The first thing that strikes you about the hoe is the weight, which is about 5 pounds. In your best estimation, it's worth about 5,650,000 silvers. You can also tell that there is some type of metal in the structure of the alloy-edged hoe.

As you sing, you feel a faint resonating vibration from the alloy-edged hoe in your hand...

It has a bonus of +45 from a normal hoe, and the way it vibrates in tune with your voice tells you that it requires skill in polearms to use effectively.

[thefarmer]

Uberhoe 01-29-2010 11:22 PM A hoe? Fucking retarded
Premium Points 01-29-2010 08:14 AM Everyone hates your lame hoe.

Ronald has something to say to you...


http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0804/ronald-mcdonald-ronald-mcdonald-celebrity-pimp-slap-demotivational-poster-1208802691.jpg