If your boyfriend is only 19 . . .

[Keller]

So I went on a ski trip with some friends. To get to 10 people to fill our rental, we took some friends of friends. The more the merrier I guess.

One guy that came with us (Gerald) (i) brought Eastbound and Down, Season 1 and (ii) essentially wanted to be Kenny Powers.

So, on Thursday night we go into town to a local sports bar in Park City to watch the BCS National Championship Game. We proceed to drink. Gerald proceeds to drink a lot.

The entire night, Gerald is flirting with our waitress, a 21 year old townie. She's cute, in a Mormon with a winter-fat layer kind of way. She is also flirting back. We presume this is because she likes tips. We tell him this much after he begins to brag that she's going home with him.

He gets indignant and tells us we're full of shit and he's going to get her number. We're more interested in the game than in arguing, so we all agree. He can tell we don't actually agree, but are just giving up because it's a moot point.

Sometime in the fourth quarter she comes around for drink orders and Gerald gets smooth and asks her for her number. She blushes and acts coy, but ends up explaining that she has a boyfriend and doesn't think it would be right to give Gerald her number. Gerald presses onward, no doubt inspired by the beer. He asks about this so-called boyfriend and she explains that he is a 19 year old from Australia that is in Park City for the winter working at the resort.

Gerald, without missing a beat, says, "Honey, I might embarrass us both by saying this, but if your boyfriend is only 19 he's not fucking you right."

Gerald ended up getting the bachelor room that night. Presumably she ended up getting fucked right.

[Mogonis]

Bullshit. No one named Gerald has sex with real people.

[nub]

Bullshit. No one named Gerald has sex with real people.

His real name is Edgar, he goes by Gerald to fool the ladies.

[Deathravin]

Ger. Gerald? No, no. You did not have great sex with Gerald.
No, you didn't. A Gerald can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal, Gerald's your man, but humpin' and pumpin' is not Gerald's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me, Gerald.' 'You're an animal, Gerald.' 'Ride me, big Gerald.' It doesn't work.

[Shari]

Okay, I snarfed out loud at that. Had to read it to the husband, we were both rolling. Deathravin's post was the icing.

[Androidpk]

Bullshit. No one named Gerald has sex with real people.

This.

[ElvenFury]

Bullshit. No one named Gerald has sex with real people.

ORLY?

http://goremasterfx.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/gerard-butler.jpg

ETA: I just realized it says "aids" in the background. Awesome.

[radamanthys]

I knew a guy named Gerald. Big black guy. From everything I heard, he did it right, even at ~19.

So yea, my two cents.

[Androidpk]

Google image search Gerald.

[Sam]

Google image search Gerald.

http://www.k12schoolnetworking.org/2006/images/speakers/gerald_crisci.jpg

pedo-smile

[Shari]

ORLY?

http://goremasterfx.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/gerard-butler.jpg

ETA: I just realized it says "aids" in the background. Awesome.

Shit.


...okay, so ONE GUY.

[DCSL]

For some reason, I thought his name was Gerard, not Gerald.

[Stanley Burrell]

Gerald R. Ford totally rules.

[DCSL]

Wait, I was right. It IS Gerard Butler. He is outside of the Gerald-in-bed rule.

[Shari]

Wait, I was right. It IS Gerard Butler. He is outside of the Gerald-in-bed rule.

Oh thank god.

[Mogonis]

ORLY?

http://goremasterfx.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/gerard-butler.jpg

ETA: I just realized it says "aids" in the background. Awesome.
Give Gerard my regards.

EDIT: I suppose if you're Chinese, you bested me.

[4a6c1]

http://brianwyrick.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/gerald.jpg

[Stanley Burrell]

http://www.mattwardman.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/20080908-bengallagher-com-gerald-the-sheep-many-faces-3.jpg

[4a6c1]

Weird stuff came up when I googled 'funny gerald.'

[Stanley Burrell]

Yeah, the Gerald curve is like dividing by zero. Beware.

[LMingrone]

Dude. My name is Larry and I bang out like a pro. Surely a Gerald could pull it off.

[Warriorbird]

Dude. My name is Larry and I bang out like a pro. Surely a Gerald could pull it off.

Larry-s are way ahead.

http://carphotos.cardomain.com/ride_images/3/2420/4561/31049780011_large.jpg

[AestheticLife]

Seriously. Leisure Suit Larry?

Gerald is the name your grandmother mentions when she recalls her first two husbands. Larry is the sleazy short guy who acts, dresses, and sounds Italian, but is actually Irish, and still somehow gets (probably underage) pussy.

[LMingrone]

Thanks AL. You make me sad face now :(.
I'm half Irish, half Italian.

Bird
Holmes
Fitzgerald
David
Taylor

The awesome goes on....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry

[Celephais]

Thanks AL. You make me sad face now :(.
I'm half Irish, half Italian.

Bird
Holmes
Fitzgerald
David
Taylor

The awesome goes on....
You sound like you've spent your whole life trying to convince people that people with your name can be cool.

[radamanthys]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_1m_U2B0Z1C8/Sfu-SodOtBI/AAAAAAAAA74/p4P784hDJdM/s400/Larry+01+07+Rookie+Ed.jpg

You ain't stonewallin', are ya?

[LMingrone]

I guess I agree. Replace "can be cool" with "trying to convince it's not a suck name."

[LMingrone]

And I got Balki on my side. So fuck you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vbnLYROCj8

[Back]

A guy called Gerald had Lady Kier from Dee-Lite vocal this track (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8IkC4s8bSU&feature=related).

Not too shabby for late 90’s drum and bass.

[4a6c1]

Thanks AL. You make me sad face now :(.
I'm half Irish, half Italian.

Bird
Holmes
Fitzgerald
David
Taylor

The awesome goes on....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry

lmao

awesome

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

'Do it to me, Gerald.'

When I read that, I think it can work. Because when I hear it I hear the chorus from Funky Cold Medina.

[Warriorbird]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeJeqaEAF3w

Gerald Levert

EDIT:

Plus a Larry update earlier in the thread.

[Geshron]

The only thing I would give a 19 year old over me is cardio. It seems when I was a kid I could run up and down a basketball court unphased. A decade later it's not as easy and I still keep in shape, have a physical job and train jiu-jitsu. This is a funny story though, I assume Gerald's confidence comes from battling the name Gerald his whole life.