That Jay
12-21-2009, 12:07 PM
http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/med/1519241236.html
3D Artist / Animator / Mind Reader Wanted (Lake Union)
Date: 2009-12-20, 10:09PM PST
Reply to: job-bhrsx-1519241236@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Active Intella is looking for a world class 3D Generalist capable of fastidiously plagiarizing the competition. We have built a cutting edge workstation with 3DStudio Max and Photoshop and have purchased the best human anatomy model library available. If you are an expert level modeler, texture painter, animator, and mind reader, and are looking for a hostile work environment, this job is for you. The perfect candidate will be able to take the competition's published images as your art direction and if you deviate from the competition, you will be humiliated in front of your co-workers. In your previous jobs, you might be used to using Shot Sequences or Animation Scripts to plan out a 32 second animation. We don't do that at Active Intella. You will create an animation twice through straight up guess work before you actually get any timing cues, and when you get it wrong, yes, you guessed it, you'll be humiliated in front of your co-workers. You will be expected to somehow extract the ideas the CEO has in his head and "get" what he's not saying to you the first time. You will need professional experience as an animator to get the job, but your expertise will be ignored because the CEO won't trust that you know what you're doing and he'll insist on micromanaging your every move and word until you bleed from your ears. If you think you know what a transition is between scenes, get ready to learn something new! This CEO has decades of banking experience that he has somehow translated into creativity and artistic license.
You will sign an extraordinary amount of Non Disclosure Statements and Non-Compete contracts, yet there will be many subtle suggestions that a binding contract with your signature on it still isn't enough, so expect to access help files and industry forums only through your telepathic powers. You will be the only high tech worker in the entire Greater Puget Sound area with no internet access. Your co-workers will offer you their internet access to perform your job, but despite their sympathy for your plight, the CEO will suggest to you in passing that you shouldn't do that. Creative individuals who enjoy being creative need not apply.
Job Requirements:
At least 7 years of professional expertise using 3DStudio Max and Photoshop
Online portfolio with examples of world class animation and 3D modeling/texturing.
Expert at creating TPS reports
Complete knowledge of all aspects of the 3D pipeline. From modeling, to texturing, weighting, rigging, animating, and post-production techniques. If you don't know how to do all of these very, very well, please don't apply.
Expert knowledge of After Effects and how to incorporate 3D output into a composition, apply special effects, and render for Flash.
Fiber Optic Telepathy. Disciples of Nostradamus a plus.
3D Artist / Animator / Mind Reader Wanted (Lake Union)
Date: 2009-12-20, 10:09PM PST
Reply to: job-bhrsx-1519241236@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Active Intella is looking for a world class 3D Generalist capable of fastidiously plagiarizing the competition. We have built a cutting edge workstation with 3DStudio Max and Photoshop and have purchased the best human anatomy model library available. If you are an expert level modeler, texture painter, animator, and mind reader, and are looking for a hostile work environment, this job is for you. The perfect candidate will be able to take the competition's published images as your art direction and if you deviate from the competition, you will be humiliated in front of your co-workers. In your previous jobs, you might be used to using Shot Sequences or Animation Scripts to plan out a 32 second animation. We don't do that at Active Intella. You will create an animation twice through straight up guess work before you actually get any timing cues, and when you get it wrong, yes, you guessed it, you'll be humiliated in front of your co-workers. You will be expected to somehow extract the ideas the CEO has in his head and "get" what he's not saying to you the first time. You will need professional experience as an animator to get the job, but your expertise will be ignored because the CEO won't trust that you know what you're doing and he'll insist on micromanaging your every move and word until you bleed from your ears. If you think you know what a transition is between scenes, get ready to learn something new! This CEO has decades of banking experience that he has somehow translated into creativity and artistic license.
You will sign an extraordinary amount of Non Disclosure Statements and Non-Compete contracts, yet there will be many subtle suggestions that a binding contract with your signature on it still isn't enough, so expect to access help files and industry forums only through your telepathic powers. You will be the only high tech worker in the entire Greater Puget Sound area with no internet access. Your co-workers will offer you their internet access to perform your job, but despite their sympathy for your plight, the CEO will suggest to you in passing that you shouldn't do that. Creative individuals who enjoy being creative need not apply.
Job Requirements:
At least 7 years of professional expertise using 3DStudio Max and Photoshop
Online portfolio with examples of world class animation and 3D modeling/texturing.
Expert at creating TPS reports
Complete knowledge of all aspects of the 3D pipeline. From modeling, to texturing, weighting, rigging, animating, and post-production techniques. If you don't know how to do all of these very, very well, please don't apply.
Expert knowledge of After Effects and how to incorporate 3D output into a composition, apply special effects, and render for Flash.
Fiber Optic Telepathy. Disciples of Nostradamus a plus.