affairs

[Euler]

just found out my brother in law is having an affair. For those keeping track, they have two kids. Youngest is 3months.

[Skeeter]

is she hot?

[Euler]

used to be. Or did you mean the baby?

[Tisket]

How did you find out? And does his wife know?

[Euler]

hi wife, my sister, called about 15 minutes after he told her.

[Tisket]

Well that relieves you of the burden of being the one to tell her. I thought you caught him out with the other woman or something.

[Drew]

Well that relieves you of the burden of being the one to tell her. I thought you caught him out with the other woman or something.

This happened to me once except with a with a friend. That and I had to tell another friend his sister has been raped. Not.good.times.

[Skeeter]

I'd keep that shit to myself. On the bright side your sister can now take him to the cleaners for the next 18 years.

[Revalos]

Yep, get your sister to hire a lawyer ASAP. Money is all that matters now that trust in your partner is gone. Take it from a guy who's been there. Take that guy for all he's worth now and forever.

[4a6c1]

Helz yeah, soak him like a leech. Men have no feelings. You have to make his wallet hurt. :)

Marriage is a hoax. The gays can have it.

[Stanley Burrell]

just found out my brother in law is having an affair. For those keeping track, they have two kids. Youngest is 3months.

Beat him to death with an isosceles triangle.

My mathigga.

[Revalos]

Marriage is a hoax. The gays can have it.

http://www.michaeljacksonhoaxdeath.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/jacksonrowe-254x300.jpg

[4a6c1]

http://cache.lifehacker.com/images/2006/04/zombieproppost.jpg

[Killer Kitten]

Did he tell her as in "I'm in love with somebody else and we're over." Or as in "I fucked up, am coming clean and ask for forgiveness."? Or as in "Well I was just going to continue our marriage and screwing her on the side but she's turned psycho and is going to break in and start cooking the family pets."?

[Revalos]

Did he tell her as in "I'm in love with somebody else and we're over." Or as in "I fucked up, am coming clean and ask for forgiveness."? Or as in "Well I was just going to continue our marriage and screwing her on the side but she's turned psycho and is going to break in and start cooking the family pets."?

If a then get lawyer.
If b then secretly get lawyer and make sure you have all the financials understood before fucking him over.
If c then get gun, then get lawyer, then sue both of them.

[Euler]

A.

[Methais]

Marriage is a hoax. The gays can have it.

^This.

[kookiegod]

You know...

Its not the end of the world.

My ex-wife and I are best of friends, we talk everyday, heck, she pays my bills still, while I handle her overall financial affairs. I hate lil things like bill paying, so i run OUR investment accounts, plus I write a lot of her stuff for presentations for work. Its a good mix.

We just learned we weren't compatible overall. She hated New England, wasn't as kinky as me, and i couldn't live in the south, and with a few crises in the families, we drifted.

You don't need to soak them, or make them pay or miserable. Life burns you somedays. Move on. With the kids, you'd hope the dad steps up and makes a fair plan of child support (if he's the major financial person in the family) and take care of business.

She's had a bf for nearly 4 years btw, and i've had many gfs, we even talk that, we've been told we should write a book on how to be friends after breaking up, but i think we're too unique.

Good luck with your family though, i hope it works out.

~Paul

[Euler]

yeah. In this situation he was all supportive of her quitting her job (while cheating) and getting preggers with the 2nd kid (while cheating) He is not coming off like a standup guy.

[DoctorUnne]

If you want I'll go slay his new girlfriend, so he knows what it feels like.

[Euler]

your supposed to to snail mail me your offer in the form of a note composed from cut out letters from many different magazines. Now I can't use you because this thread can be used as evidence of premeditation. Also, I am not really angry at the other woman at all. She didn't make any promises to my sister.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

This whole thread is the poster child for why my ass is not getting married without a pre-nup.

No one plans to get fucked over, it just happens.

[Sylvan Dreams]

This whole thread is the poster child for why my ass is not getting married without a pre-nup.

No one plans to get fucked over, it just happens.

If you (general you) have an affair, you deserve to get fucked over. Pre-nups often serve as a way for people to not live up to their end of the committment, because they're "safe". They treat it like it's a pass to be a scumbag. Cheaters deserve everything bad that gets thrown their way. Especially if there are children involved.

That being said, I don't believe in "staying together for the kids", either. From personal experience, I've found that people that make an excuse to stay married yet are "unhappy" really aren't all that unhappy. There is no reason to cheat when you can just be up front that you want out. Take the lumps that are due and split.

[Revalos]

There is no reason to cheat when you can just be up front that you want out.

Needs to be said again.

[Warriorbird]

Except people don't necessarily do that even what that's stated up front.

Many many theoretically rational people get a dose of 'I want to focus on me!' and have exit affairs.

[Trouble]

Pre-nups often serve as a way for people to not live up to their end of the committment, because they're "safe". They treat it like it's a pass to be a scumbag.
What do you mean by this?

[Kuyuk]

sucks when the person cheating gets the kids

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

If you (general you) have an affair, you deserve to get fucked over. Pre-nups often serve as a way for people to not live up to their end of the committment, because they're "safe". They treat it like it's a pass to be a scumbag. Cheaters deserve everything bad that gets thrown their way. Especially if there are children involved.

That being said, I don't believe in "staying together for the kids", either. From personal experience, I've found that people that make an excuse to stay married yet are "unhappy" really aren't all that unhappy. There is no reason to cheat when you can just be up front that you want out. Take the lumps that are due and split.

This makes absolutely no sense to at all. Where are you getting it's an excuse to be a scumbag? I totally agree that someone who cheats deserves to be fucked over, a pre-nup can help the wronged party extensively if they were smart about it.

Think about it, if a woman has children and quits her job to raise a family, a pre-nup is really the perfect way to protect her. He wants to run around and cheat on her? Fine, but he's going to have to pay her for putting her career on hold, having a huge resume gap, losing some of the up-to-date experience that comes with being in the workforce, and halting proportional increase of base salary over time. I've seen this exact scenario play out time and time again on another forum I frequent, to the point that I really feel that before anyone puts their career on hold to be a stay at home parent for any length of time, they should have a pre-nup.

Back to the OP.. Euler, I think everyone else gave good advice for your sister. The whole situation just really sucks for her, but hopefully she'll get a good lawyer and he'll suffer, lol.

[TheEschaton]

Think about it, if a woman has children and quits her job to raise a family, a pre-nup is really the perfect way to protect her. He wants to run around and cheat on her? Fine, but he's going to have to pay her for putting her career on hold, having a huge resume gap, losing some of the up-to-date experience that comes with being in the workforce, and halting proportional increase of base salary over time. I've seen this exact scenario play out time and time again on another forum I frequent, to the point that I really feel that before anyone puts their career on hold to be a stay at home parent for any length of time, they should have a pre-nup.


In a divorce due to the wrong of the other spouse, the aggrieved spouse can get all that and more, without a pre-nup.

Pre-nups have, sociologically speaking, always been a way for the richer partner to protect his/her wealth from the other partner. Where the money is, is usually where the power is in forming a pre-nup. Yes, theoretically, you could have a pre-nup that gave more rights to an aggrieved spouse, but pre-nups really aren't about that, realistically speaking. Oh, and guess who the traditionally richer partner is? Men.

-TheE-

[Atlanteax]

What Eschaton said... pre-nups are most about protecting existing assets prior to the legal marriage.

Such as if it's a situation that you're an older adult with 2 kids, and you're marrying another older adult with two kids, but you want to preserve your pre-martial assets for your two kids... the pre-nup can arrange for that.

.

Oh, and I think Sylvan Dreams meant that pre-nups can be an excuse to be a scumbag in the fashion that if you successfully arranged for a pre-nup to protect all pre-martial assets, and you were already pretty wealthy... even if you *do* cheat, or violate the marriage in some other fashion... your pre-martial assets are "safe" from being targeted by the aggrieved spouse.

Personally, I'd say pre-nups kinda contradict the trust that is supposed to be inherent when you get married, but it can be argued that it should be a more common thing, so that when people *do* get divorced... it can be a lot cleaner to divide up assets and move on (overall across the populace), since there presumably would be significant less litigation involved (again, overall).

It all goes back to "Possession is 9/10th of the Law".

[AnticorRifling]

This makes absolutely no sense to at all. Where are you getting it's an excuse to be a scumbag? I totally agree that someone who cheats deserves to be fucked over, a pre-nup can help the wronged party extensively if they were smart about it.

Think about it, if a woman has children and quits her job to raise a family, a pre-nup is really the perfect way to protect her. He wants to run around and cheat on her? Fine, but he's going to have to pay her for putting her career on hold, having a huge resume gap, losing some of the up-to-date experience that comes with being in the workforce, and halting proportional increase of base salary over time. I've seen this exact scenario play out time and time again on another forum I frequent, to the point that I really feel that before anyone puts their career on hold to be a stay at home parent for any length of time, they should have a pre-nup.

Back to the OP.. Euler, I think everyone else gave good advice for your sister. The whole situation just really sucks for her, but hopefully she'll get a good lawyer and he'll suffer, lol. Or she could let him have the kids since career is obviously the most important thing here....Don't protect the kids, protect that job.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Or she could let him have the kids since career is obviously the most important thing here....Don't protect the kids, protect that job.

It's not about protecting the job, it's about protecting the income, which greatly effects the kids. This doesn't just go for women-- I think all stay at home parents should take a good hard look at some of the worst case scenarios and how they're going to make sure there's a roof over the head and food on the table. Doesn't mean you believe it's going to happen, but no one ever really does do they?

And the E, I agree that there are non pre-nup ways of getting the same thing, which is why largely most people don't get them I think.. that being said, getting a pre-nup before hand can save a lot of mess and court battles and lawyers fees, when you're both not so amicable and rational. I think largely it's still rich men who have pre-nups, but as we see women becoming main breadwinners and men becoming stay at home dads I think they will eventually become much more common.

[Kuyuk]

I want more kids.

love em to death. I may be partial since my kid was the bomb, and was a great baby/toddler.

[4a6c1]

Situations like this make the Gloria Steinem in me wanna magic marker some tampons and put them in the boy bathrooms everywhere I go.

[Apotheosis]

Helz yeah, soak him like a leech. Men have no feelings. You have to make his wallet hurt. :)

Marriage is a hoax. The gays can have it.

You don't sound bitter.

[4a6c1]

And you dont sound committal.

But hey, no judgements. Make your own mistakes in your own good time.

:-X

[Hulkein]

your supposed to to snail mail me your offer in the form of a note composed from cut out letters from many different magazines. Now I can't use you because this thread can be used as evidence of premeditation. Also, I am not really angry at the other woman at all. She didn't make any promises to my sister.

I think "slay" in that context meant bang her, not kill her.

[AnticorRifling]

It's not about protecting the job, it's about protecting the income, which greatly effects the kids. This doesn't just go for women-- I think all stay at home parents should take a good hard look at some of the worst case scenarios and how they're going to make sure there's a roof over the head and food on the table. Doesn't mean you believe it's going to happen, but no one ever really does do they?

And the E, I agree that there are non pre-nup ways of getting the same thing, which is why largely most people don't get them I think.. that being said, getting a pre-nup before hand can save a lot of mess and court battles and lawyers fees, when you're both not so amicable and rational. I think largely it's still rich men who have pre-nups, but as we see women becoming main breadwinners and men becoming stay at home dads I think they will eventually become much more common.


Why do you assume that it requires a pre-nup to make this happen? The whole purpose of a pre-nup is to protect assets from before the marriage.

Man I think when I get married I might want to have kids and there might be chance that I stay at home and become a stay at home dad so I'd better get something in writing that says if I do stay home with the kids she's going to pay me if we get divorced...really? (get that sentence some Nikes because it's running on and on and on)

I just don't see this line of thinking at all.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Why do you assume that it requires a pre-nup to make this happen? The whole purpose of a pre-nup is to protect assets from before the marriage.

Man I think when I get married I might want to have kids and there might be chance that I stay at home and become a stay at home dad so I'd better get something in writing that says if I do stay home with the kids she's going to pay me if we get divorced...really? (get that sentence some Nikes because it's running on and on and on)

I just don't see this line of thinking at all.

I didn't say a pre-nup is the only way to make it happen. It's just a way to do it that could save a lot of money, time, and energy from having to slog it out through the courts should shit hit the fan.

But yeah, it's totally stupid to think about worst case scenarios and possibly even prepare yourself for them! The only people who ever cheat/get cheated on and or get a divorce usually have planned to get a divorce all along, even the day they got married!