Dumb Customer Stories

[Methais]

Post your experiences with (or as) a dumb customer here.

Here's one of my favorites from a couple years ago:

CUSTOMER: Yeah...how much is an order of hot wings?

ME: An order of hot wings is five dollars.

CUSTOMER: Oh ok. How much two orders be?

/facepalm

[ZeP]

"Someone broke into my office and threw it away or something." (On what happened to the installation disc we sent him)

Imagine being burglarized and all the burglar does is throw some of your stuff away. Or something.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

"Excuse me, but there is actual chicken in this soup."

"Well, it is chicken noodle soup."

"I thought everything here was vegan! I read in a review that you guys serve vegan food."

"Yes, we have vegan options."

"How am I supposed to know what's vegan and what's not?!"

"The word VEGAN in parenthesis next to the item on the menu."

[Xanator]

I once heard a story... might have been on the PC... about a tech support guy who got a call from a customer complaining that his coffee holder disappeared inside his computer and he couldn't get it to come back out again. He was looking for the eject button on his CD-ROM drive, turns out.

[Some Rogue]

www.notalwaysright.com (http://www.notalwaysright.com)

[Parkbandit]

A tourist from Canada checked into the hotel and asked "Do you have sunrises here?"

[4a6c1]

CUSTOMER: Oh ok. How much two orders be?



Answer: "Umm....I dont know, five plus five? How bout you just give me twelve and we will call it even" *gratuitous salesman smile*

[Sylvan Dreams]

These are from when I worked at Lexmark doing Spanish tech support for laser printers, though we sometimes got misrouted inket calls.

- A lady called and wanted to know how much the tray that held the t-shirts was. She bought the kit to print on t-shirts but couldn't get the printer to feed the shirt. (She had bought the iron on transfer kit and thought she'd print ON the shirt.)

- A man called and wanted to know how to disassemble his printer so that he could dry the parts. He had taken the printer into the kitchen and spilled cooking oil inside of it. I was never able to figure out why it was in the kitchen.

- A man called and wanted to know if toner was toxic and the running temperature of the fuser. He had opened a restaurant and wanted to print his logo on tortillas and serve them to customers. He figured the fuser would be hot enough to warm the tortillas.

- Someone called and reported that his black and white laser printer was printing RED streaks. It also smelled foul. A tech onsite opened the printer to find a dead mouse roasting inside it.

- Someone wanted to know if a rat chewing it's way inside a printer then chewing the cables causing the printer to fail was covered by warranty. The official stance was that it was considered an Act of God, and was not. The rat was also shocked to death from the cables.

[Loagan]

http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/12/09/0625245&tid=228

This was a funny story from a few years back.

You should listen to the call this guy made to Verizon.