Keller ver 2.0

[Keller]

You've all got 7 months until I officially have spawned.

Mwahahahaha!

[Tisket]

Preggers?

[Tsa`ah]

Congrats .... now everything changes.

[Keller]

Preggers?

Not me, but my wife.

[Tisket]

The PC is experiencing a baby boom.

[Tisket]

Not me, but my wife.

Glad you clarified that for me. Guess I have to stop thinking of you as female.

Grats on good swimmers.

[Keller]

The PC is experiencing a baby boom.

We were a bunch of 14-20 year olds in the late nineties playing GS together.

It makes sense, in that light I guess.

[Stanley Burrell]

Congratulations on your new Keller, Keller.

Also, if any of the willing lady participants on these boards will allow me to impregnate you, I would like our place of fornication to be near a nuclear reactor and for you to take massive amounts of Fen-phen during your pregnancy so that my crypt-keeper baby will always make me look better in comparison.

The end.

[CrystalTears]

Congrats! :)

[radamanthys]

Congratulations on your new Keller, Keller.

Also, if any of the willing lady participants on these boards will allow me to impregnate you, I would like our place of fornication to be near a nuclear reactor and for you to take massive amounts of Fen-phen during your pregnancy so that my crypt-keeper baby will always make me look better in comparison.

The end.

Thalidomide!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcA-ChaGdYw

[Stanley Burrell]

Thalidomide!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcA-ChaGdYw

Oh, yeah, for sure. Flipper was a thalidomide baby. Good point.

[ElanthianSiren]

You've all got 7 months until I officially have spawned.

Mwahahahaha!

Good god man...whatever you do, don't let it visit the glacier! (or Michigan; also the glacier!)

Congrats :)

[Ravenstorm]

Congrats on actually being married!

[Makkah]

I thought inbreeding led to sterility? Guess not!

[Gan]

Congrats.

Stock up on sleep. You'll miss it soon enough.

And welcome to the next stage in life.

[diethx]

Congrats on actually being married!

Ahahahahaha.

Seriously though, grats.

[Snapp]

Congrats Keller. :)

[Daniel]

congrats dude!

[Drew]

The seed is strong. Congrats man.

[Parkbandit]

Grats!

[Bhuryn]

My wife is pregnant too without second one. I imagine this one will be my little viking offspring to carry my name forward.

[Keller]

Thanks. I have to admit, I'm pretty excited.

My wife is on quite the emotional rollercoaster, which isn't the best, but I hear it wont last forever.

It's sort of weird how life hasn't really changed. Take that back, we have a dedicated designated driver. Score!

[4a6c1]

Congrats Keller. :)

[Warriorbird]

That's awesome man.

Congratulations!

[radamanthys]

Thanks. I have to admit, I'm pretty excited.

My wife is on quite the emotional rollercoaster, which isn't the best, but I hear it wont last forever.

It's sort of weird how life hasn't really changed. Take that back, we have a dedicated designated driver. Score!

Ok win.

But replacing her BC with sugar pill wasn't a good idea just to get a DD for a few months.

Heh, Congrats anyway.

[Hulkein]

Hah, awesome bro! First trimester is markedly worse than the second. Hold out until then!

[Bhuryn]

Thanks. I have to admit, I'm pretty excited.

My wife is on quite the emotional rollercoaster, which isn't the best, but I hear it wont last forever.

It's sort of weird how life hasn't really changed. Take that back, we have a dedicated designated driver. Score!

It tends to go like this:

First Trimester: So tired she can't stay away
Second Trimester: Nesting begins, cleans like a freak, randomly reorganizes the entire house, has a burning desire to paint the walls (but she can't!)
Third Trimester: ... duck and run ...

[Trouble]

Grats! Make sure you have her stop drinking DC tap water, if y'all haven't already.

[Back]

Wow. I would say grats but thats a pretty easy accomplishment for a guy.

But seriously... way to go man.

[Back]

Grats! Make sure you have her stop drinking DC tap water, if y'all haven't already.

Hey now... it keeps you medicated and powers the dirt off. Creek water is nothing like Socialist Municipal Water!

[Sean of the Thread]

Grats man. Get ready for the fun.

[Sean]

Congrats man, glad you're excited.. the PC baby boom scares me.

[Anebriated]

Ill know in a week or two if theres another name to add to the baby boom list...

[Jorddyn]

You've all got 7 months until I officially have spawned.

Mwahahahaha!

That's awesome - congratulations!

[AnticorRifling]

I hope it's twins.

[Keller]

Grats! Make sure you have her stop drinking DC tap water, if y'all haven't already.

We've always used a Brita -- think that's sufficient? I'd not heard DC water was much worse than any other major city.

Sometimes I'm a little annoyed by the "don't do X" advice. [Not yours, but the general premise that, say, a glass of wine once a week will give your baby fetal alcohol syndrome]. I wish people would do the "is one glass of wine a week bad for the baby" study. Of course, no one will do that. But as for now -- all we know is that drinking in excess is bad, and not drinking at all is safe. I feel bad for her that she has to give up so many things she loves (good cheese, sushi, rare beef, etc).

[Keller]

I hope it's twins.

That would be pretty awesome. I wont lie that I want two kids, and getting them both out of the way at the same time, while providing each of them with a playmate, would be ideal.

[Bhuryn]

We've always used a Brita -- think that's sufficient? I'd not heard DC water was much worse than any other major city.

Sometimes I'm a little annoyed by the "don't do X" advice. [Not yours, but the general premise that, say, a glass of wine once a week will give your baby fetal alcohol syndrome]. I wish people would do the "is one glass of wine a week bad for the baby" study. Of course, no one will do that. But as for now -- all we know is that drinking in excess is bad, and not drinking at all is safe. I feel bad for her that she has to give up so many things she loves (good cheese, sushi, rare beef, etc).

Don't tell anyone you see regularly that she's pregnant if you can help it. Everyone has advice and it all sucks.

[Celephais]

I feel bad for her that she has to give up so many things she loves (good cheese, sushi, rare beef, etc).
You can still give her rare beef, you can't get the baby pregnant.

[Trouble]

We've always used a Brita -- think that's sufficient? I'd not heard DC water was much worse than any other major city.

Sometimes I'm a little annoyed by the "don't do X" advice. [Not yours, but the general premise that, say, a glass of wine once a week will give your baby fetal alcohol syndrome]. I wish people would do the "is one glass of wine a week bad for the baby" study. Of course, no one will do that. But as for now -- all we know is that drinking in excess is bad, and not drinking at all is safe. I feel bad for her that she has to give up so many things she loves (good cheese, sushi, rare beef, etc).

Yeah it was more of a DC joke than actual advice. For a few years there everyone was like 'OMG they're poisoning us!@!' but I haven't heard much in the past year about it. I drink tap water and as far as I know Arlington gets some of their water from DC.

My friend who's 8 months along mentioned how she can't wait to have fun food again. I joked 'but what about all the ice cream and pickles you have an excuse to eat now (sometimes at the same time)?!' She said she'd rather have her wine, bleu cheese, and sushi instead.

[AnticorRifling]

You can still give her rare beef, you can't get the baby pregnant.

But he might come out cock eyed.

[AnticorRifling]

That would be pretty awesome. I wont lie that I want two kids, and getting them both out of the way at the same time, while providing each of them with a playmate, would be ideal. Yeah until the wife wants a girl.....

But yeah twins is awesome shit. They are a blast.

[Bhuryn]

But he might come out cock eyed.

Or ashamed of his father.

[CrystalTears]

I feel bad for her that she has to give up so many things she loves (good cheese, sushi, rare beef, etc)....

I am so not getting pregnant. :(

[diethx]

You can still give her rare beef, you can't get the baby pregnant.

Ahahaha.

Also, why can't she have good cheese?

[Sean]

...

I am so not getting pregnant. :(

I've got a sandwich that'll keep you safe...

[Keller]

Ahahaha.

Also, why can't she have good cheese?

From some site not worth pasting:

Pregnant women are advised not to eat:

• soft, mould-ripened cheeses, such as Brie or Camembert
• blue-veined cheeses, such as Danish Blue and Stilton

These cheeses are moister and less acidic than other cheeses, providing a perfect environment for bacteria to grow.

[diethx]

From some site not worth pasting:

Pregnant women are advised not to eat:

• soft, mould-ripened cheeses, such as Brie or Camembert
• blue-veined cheeses, such as Danish Blue and Stilton

These cheeses are moister and less acidic than other cheeses, providing a perfect environment for bacteria to grow.

Ohhh, you meant gross moldy cheese. Gotcha. :D

[AnticorRifling]

From some site not worth pasting:

Pregnant women are advised not to eat:

• soft, mould-ripened cheeses, such as Brie or Camembert
• blue-veined cheeses, such as Danish Blue and Stilton

These cheeses are moister and less acidic than other cheeses, providing a perfect environment for bacteria to grow.
Had she been eating blue veins at the start she wouldn't be preggo.

[CrystalTears]

Oh wait, I mostly prefer eel and that's safe because it's cooked. And I don't tend to eat the moldy cheeses....

Game on!

[Keller]

Ohhh, you meant gross moldy cheese. Gotcha. :D

I'm pretty sure, but ClydeR can back me up on this, Paul, the disciple of Cheeseus, wrote to Corinth that, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child, and I ate like a child. When I became a man, I gnoshed on some tangy rochefort and sweet, sweet brie."

[diethx]

I'm so glad I will never be a man... :puke:

[CrystalTears]

Brie is delicious.

[Drew]

That would be pretty awesome. I wont lie that I want two kids, and getting them both out of the way at the same time, while providing each of them with a playmate, would be ideal.

Yeah, but what if they are girls??

[Daniel]

Yeah, but what if they are girls??

Giggity-Giggity

[Gan]

Ill know in a week or two if theres another name to add to the baby boom list...
haha, just caught this post. Great premonition!


But he might come out cock eyed.
LOL

[thefarmer]

Congrats.

I suggest you and the wife do all the fun things you normally do three times as much as you normally do (go to the movies more, eat out as much as you can, take trips). When you're not doing the fun things, sleep.

You're going to want to stock up on both as much as possible.

[Tsa`ah]

We've always used a Brita -- think that's sufficient? I'd not heard DC water was much worse than any other major city.

Sometimes I'm a little annoyed by the "don't do X" advice. [Not yours, but the general premise that, say, a glass of wine once a week will give your baby fetal alcohol syndrome]. I wish people would do the "is one glass of wine a week bad for the baby" study. Of course, no one will do that. But as for now -- all we know is that drinking in excess is bad, and not drinking at all is safe. I feel bad for her that she has to give up so many things she loves (good cheese, sushi, rare beef, etc).

Our OB/GYN told us to ignore most, if not all, of the advice offered by people that weren't medical professionals in the relevant field ... so we bombarded her and her staff with questions non-stop. They were very accommodating thank god.

On the drinking, and you should probably run this by your OB/GYN ... there was an Oxford study a short time ago that sort of indicated a glass of wine now and again wasn't really harmful. As studies go, the opinions on them change daily. It's not ok to eat egg yolks, it's ok to eat egg yolks. Rare meat is bad, fully cooked meat makes you susceptible to colon cancer .... during pregnancy it's just maddening.

The wife had a couple of glasses of wine a week and snuck an occasional bite or two of rare steak or cheese. It's anecdotal, but we never had problems. Though the mother in law lays the guilt trip on my wife over the last pregnancy being a miscarriage due to her constant drinking.

Man I'd love to shove that woman into a confining crate and ship her to a third world country.

[AnticorRifling]

Start buying diapers now. Starting out figure 6 diapers a day, buy a months worth of 1s, 2s, maybe 2-4 of 3s. Just to have a starting stock pile.

If you're deciding on formula in lieu of or to supplement breast feeding don't buy too much in advance. You don't want 10 cans of shit your baby is allergic too. Some babies can take any formula, others will only handle a certain brand (even though they are all practically the same the smallest change upsets midgets). For my kids the generic target brand worked great.

Feedings we did our night shifts in week rotations. On a week off a week. If you alternate nights you'll be dead and hate everyone. If you go for a week on min sleep and do all the feedings it sucks but the following week when you get to sleep every night it's freaking heaven. It worked wonders for us.

Don't buy any baby clothes. Everyone you know is going to buy you baby outfits in addition to anything you put on list at Babies R us or whatever.

Diaper Champ > Diaper genie. Diaper champ uses regular trashbags, diaper genie uses cartridges. Both are good I just prefer to not buy a special trash bag....

Dude you're going to have so much fun as a dad it's freaking awesome.

[Nieninque]

Figured this would be helpful for you:



Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading Sheila Kitzinger and decorating the nursery. Here are eleven simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real life experience of being a mother or father

Women: Put on a dressing gown and stick a bean bag down the front. Leave it there for nine months. After nine months take out 10% of the beans. Men: go to the chemist, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter and invite the pharmacist to help himself, then go to the supermarket and arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home pick up the paper and read it for the last time.
Before you go ahead and have children find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behaviour. Enjoy it - it will be the last time you have all the answers.
To discover how the nights will feel walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing about 8 - l0 lbs. At 10pm put the bag down, set the alarm clock for midnight and go to sleep. Get up at 12pm and walk around with the bag again until 1am. Set the alarm for 3am. As you can't get back to sleep get up at 2am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2 45am. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4am. Set the alarm for 5am. Get up at 5am and make the breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out smear marmite on the sofa and jam on the curtains. Hide a fish finger behind the stereo and leave it there throughout the Summer. Stick your fingers in the flower bed - then wipe them clean on the wall paper. Cover the stairs with crayons. How does that look?
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems. First buy an octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus in the bag, so that none of its arms stick out. Time allowed for this - all morning.
Take an egg carton, Using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet roll tube. Using only Copydex and a piece of foil make a Christmas cracker. Last take a milk container, ping-pong ball and an empty packet of Cocoa Pops then make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations you have just qualified for a place on the Playgroup Committee.
Forget the Peugeot 205 and buy a Sierra. And don't think you can leave it on the driveway spotless and shining, family cars don't look like that. Take a choc-ice and put it in the glove compartment and leave it there. Get a 20p piece, stick it in the cassette player. Take a family sized pack of chocolate biscuits, mash them down the back seat. Take a garden rake - run it along both sides of the car. There - perfect.
Get ready to go out. Wait outside the loo for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come back in again, go out, come back in again, go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes. Stop to inspect every cigarette end, piece of chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect on the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you have had just about as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out to stare at you. Give up and go back home again. Do it all over again. You are now just about ready to take a small child for a walk.
Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is ideal. If you intend to have more than one child then take more than one goat. Buy your groceries without letting the goats out of' your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even consider having children.
Hollow out a melon, make a small hole in the side, suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now take a bowl of soggy Weetabix and try to spoon it into the swaying melon whilst pretending to be an aeroplane. Continue until half the Weetabix has gone, tip the rest in your lap making sure that a lot of it ends up on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12 month old baby.
Learn the names of every character from the Care Bears, Postman Pat, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. When you find yourself singing "I wanna be a Care Bear" at work, you finally qualify as a parent.

[Tsa`ah]

Figured this would be helpful for you:

[/LIST]

Win.

[Celephais]

what the fuck is Weetabix ...

[AnticorRifling]

what the fuck is Weetabix ... Oatmeal/Cream of Wheat/L2translate british shit.

[Celephais]

Oatmeal/Cream of Wheat/L2translate british shit.
I was able to figure it out by context, L2getjokes

[Keller]

Been sort of busy recently.

We went to the doctor on Monday.

She said that our fetus has lady parts.

I'm pretty excited about it. Deep down I might have wanted a boy, but I have 5 nieces and they're all awesome.

Plus we already have the girl name picked out. So we just need April (the month, we don't plan to name our kids after dates) to get here.

[Back]

Well done, sir. Well done.

[AnticorRifling]

Name her August just to fuck with people.

[bluesmith]

Congrats -- having also just had a baby in DC myself, I can tell you the daddy circuit isn't as painful as I thought it would be.

[Asha]

''what the fuck is weetabix''

Just made me lol how it just came out of nowhere.

[Kuyuk]

Whats the name you picked out?

[Allereli]

Whats the name you picked out?

I'm rooting for Laquisha or Sholanda

[Asha]

Lafonda

[Celephais]

April 2028... marked on the calendar.

[bluesmith]

We moved to bottled water for mommy...there are really weird trace pharmaceuticals in DC water that might not be removed by a carbon filter.

It's not very green, but you perspectives change when a babe's on the way. Two months into breastfeeding, etc., and my wife's still on the bottled stuff.



We've always used a Brita -- think that's sufficient? I'd not heard DC water was much worse than any other major city.

Sometimes I'm a little annoyed by the "don't do X" advice. [Not yours, but the general premise that, say, a glass of wine once a week will give your baby fetal alcohol syndrome]. I wish people would do the "is one glass of wine a week bad for the baby" study. Of course, no one will do that. But as for now -- all we know is that drinking in excess is bad, and not drinking at all is safe. I feel bad for her that she has to give up so many things she loves (good cheese, sushi, rare beef, etc).

[Celephais]

That'll be sweet when your kid drinks tap water for the first time.

[AnticorRifling]

Or .... well water ZOMG I know how did we survive?!

[Liberi Fatali]

''what the fuck is weetabix''

Just made me lol how it just came out of nowhere.

When I lived in Ireland, that was literally all I ate. I dipped them in peanut butter. I know I have a picture of it somewhere. Let me scope out my myspace page.

Aha. Here it is, my wall of cereal. I ate all of this in the first TWO weeks that I was in Dublin:

http://b9.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00280/93/57/280677539_l.jpg

Oh, I guess they were the minis. STILL GOOD.

In regard to "giving up wine" during pregnancy -- you don't have to do this. One glass a week does not harm the fetus. I'm in a practice with three other doctors, currently, and two of them recently had pregnant wives. When we went to the hoity-toity Italian restaurant, they both ordered wine. Not only did I give them a puzzled look, but so did the waitress. She said, "Are you sure you want to do that?" Both of them drank at least 4 glasses of wine a month, and they've both since had their babies. There were no complications.

These days, people are worried about everything harming the fetus. What about back in the 1900's? 1800's? Are you trying to tell me people didn't drink then while they were pregnant? I don't seem to recall reading in the literature about the "mutant babies" that spawned as a result. Stupid.

[Warriorbird]

When I lived in Ireland, that was literally all I ate. I dipped them in peanut butter. I know I have a picture of it somewhere. Let me scope out my myspace page.

Aha. Here it is, my wall of cereal. I ate all of this in the first TWO weeks that I was in Dublin:

http://b9.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00280/93/57/280677539_l.jpg

Oh, I guess they were the minis. STILL GOOD.

In regard to "giving up wine" during pregnancy -- you don't have to do this. One glass a week does not harm the fetus. I'm in a practice with three other doctors, currently, and two of them recently had pregnant wives. When we went to the hoity-toity Italian restaurant, they both ordered wine. Not only did I give them a puzzled look, but so did the waitress. She said, "Are you sure you want to do that?" Both of them drank at least 4 glasses of wine a month, and they've both since had their babies. There were no complications.

These days, people are worried about everything harming the fetus. What about back in the 1900's? 1800's? Are you trying to tell me people didn't drink then while they were pregnant? I don't seem to recall reading in the literature about the "mutant babies" that spawned as a result. Stupid.

Voting card + you not trolling the DR officials?

[Liberi Fatali]

Voting card + you not trolling the DR officials?

What the fuck does this mean? I can only assume DR means (D)ragon(R)ealms. This being the case, I have NEVER played DragonRealms, let alone "trolling" the official boards.

You sir, are quite a dumb fuck.

[Keller]

Whats the name you picked out?

Daphne Elizabeth is our favorite so far.

My wife insists on a first name that is not in the top 100 names on the SSA's list of baby names.

She has a common first name, so I have to respect that it's annoying to be one of many.

[Warriorbird]

What the fuck does this mean? I can only assume DR means (D)ragon(R)ealms. This being the case, I have NEVER played DragonRealms, let alone "trolling" the official boards.

You sir, are quite a dumb fuck.

Must suspiciously be another Tabor. And voting card plz. I mean... you have photos of your cereal.

[TheEschaton]

The only Daphne I've ever known was hot.

And psycho, but hot.

[Latrinsorm]

There were no complications.Yeah I know two guys who smoke cigarettes. They've never gotten cancer, it's all a bunch of liberal media bias.

Daphne is a good name, I say stick with it.

[Keller]

The only Daphne I've ever known was hot.

And psycho, but hot.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/dc/Daphnescooby.gif

I never considered her psycho. But she did talk to a dog, so who knows.

[Warriorbird]

Daphne Elizabeth is our favorite so far.

My wife insists on a first name that is not in the top 100 names on the SSA's list of baby names.

She has a common first name, so I have to respect that it's annoying to be one of many.

I hated my unusual first name as a kid. I love it now. Ultimately a good call.

[AnticorRifling]

I hated my unusual first name as a kid. I love it now. Ultimately a good call.

Odd you don't look like a Daphne :)

[Kuyuk]

I'm a fuckin Saint.

I love it.

[Warriorbird]

Odd you don't look like a Daphne :)

Heh well... the only Conan I look like'd be a Conan the librarian. I still love having it.

:D

[Keller]

Life's been so crazy I forgot to mention that we're inducing tomorrow morning.

Is it wrong that I'm most excited about having a legitimate reason to give the middle finger to everyone in my work inbox demanding an immediate answer to the question they should have asked me 4 weeks ago?

[thefarmer]

Good luck!

I hope you stocked up on sleep like some of us suggested.

[AestheticLife]

Brie is yummy.

[Back]

Luck to you, the wife and kid.

[AestheticLife]

Luck to you, the wife and kid.

That too.

[Stanley Burrell]

While you've been out there knocking up sluts I've been busy playing GemStone, A-hole.

Remember to hit it a certain way so that you get a son, next time. Don't stop until aforementioned.

[4a6c1]

:spaz:

Keller OMG!

Post pictures of that baby and give us details and stuff. Dont pull an Euler and go AWOL into newdaddyland.

[Warriorbird]

Good luck. I hope everything goes great.

[CrystalTears]

Good luck! So excited for you! :D

[Drew]

Best of luck man. I'll say a prayer for you and your wife even though I know it's not your style.

[Cephalopod]

Good luck. World changes NOW.

[AnticorRifling]

What's the word thunderbird?

[Nieninque]

Grats on your level 1 gnome!

[Keller]

This is turning out to be a multi-day event. Likely won't begin labor until the middle of the night tonight/morning.

[AnticorRifling]

HAHA already your time tables fall to that which is baby!

[Cephalopod]

Prodromal labor?

Has she got an epidural yet?

[Keller]

Her doctor, at her last office visit, overestimated her cervix's preparedness for passing a baby's head.

So they didn't admit her last night to do cervical softening. They didn't start that until about 10am this morning and won't check the cervix again until 10pm tonight. That is the earliest they will star the petosin. Which means we'd be lucky to have a baby by 5 or 6 am tomorrow morning. More likely closer to noon.

[Cephalopod]

Make sure you offer to apply some prostaglandins to her cervix.

[Keller]

Daphne Elizabeth born at 8:23 am on April 9th, 2010 in Washington, D.C.

7 lbs 10 oz, 20 inches long.

Everyone is fine and healthy. Pics to follow in the next few days.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Daphne Elizabeth born at 8:23 am on April 9th, 2010 in Washington, D.C.

7 lbs 10 oz, 20 inches long.

Everyone is fine and healthy. Pics to follow in the next few days.

Congratulations!

And I love the name. Unique and pretty but not off the wall enough to make people go "wtf??"

[Trouble]

Gratz! I'm glad to hear everything worked out well with the delivery.

[TheEschaton]

Man, every Daphne I've known has been a crazy bitch.

I've only known one, so I guess a grain of salt should be taken with that statement. Congrats man.

[Liagala]

Congratulations! Glad to hear everyone's doing well, and I hope you stocked up on your sleep over the last few days!

[Back]

Congrats! Pray she gets her mother’s good looks.

[Nieninque]

Daphne Elizabeth born at 8:23 am on April 9th, 2010 in Washington, D.C.

7 lbs 10 oz, 20 inches long.

Everyone is fine and healthy. Pics to follow in the next few days.


Daphne???

Oh, I mean grats.

Cool luck Daphne, with a name like that and a dad like that, you're gonna need it.

[Cephalopod]

Congrats!

Velma might have been a better name...
http://laughingsquid.com/wp-content/uploads/scooby-velma-20091117-162830.jpg

[AestheticLife]

Why not Buffy, while we're at it?

[Celephais]

Daphne Elizabeth born at 8:23 am on April 9th, 2010 in Washington, D.C.

7 lbs 10 oz, 20 inches long.

Everyone is fine and healthy. Pics to follow in the next few days.
Hooray! In celebration of your new found fatherdom, I made you this webpage (http://www.beerzombie.com/delegal.html)!

[Stanley Burrell]

Yo, congratulations and shit. Be more social now.

[Drew]

Congratulations. Babies are having babies!

[AnticorRifling]

If you turn into Brian on the one episode where he finds out he's a dad....I'm going to have to kick your ass.

[Gan]

Daphne Elizabeth born at 8:23 am on April 9th, 2010 in Washington, D.C.

7 lbs 10 oz, 20 inches long.

Everyone is fine and healthy. Pics to follow in the next few days.

Congrats and welcome to fatherhood.

The journey (adventure) begins!

[Tisket]

Even though I imagine anyone with that name employed as a live-in physical therapist for a radio shrinks dad and rocking a cockney accent, I like the name "Daphne" very much.

Grats on the daughter. Get on the ball and post pics. I'm betting she is a ginger.

[Delias]

Congrats. Hope you've babyproofed the place, they are always wandering around before you know it.

[Hulkein]

Congrats Keller!

Count down the days until the three month mark. It got a lot easier for us at that point. Good luck.

[4a6c1]

Beautiful name. Glad everything went well!

[Keller]

http://i417.photobucket.com/albums/pp256/bobberyt/daphne2.jpg

http://i417.photobucket.com/albums/pp256/bobberyt/Daphne.jpg

[Drew]

First photo: HIGH FIVE!!!

[Jorddyn]

Congrats on having a daughter! Only 17 years, 364 days before the PC is begging her to post her boobs.

[Clove]

Congrats on having a daughter! Only 17 years, 364 days before the PC is begging her to post her boobs.I think you're overstating the timeline Jorddyn. Just sayin'

[Clove]

Oh and congrats Keller. Gosh time flies.

[Celephais]

Congrats on having a daughter! Only 17 years, 364 days before the PC is begging her to post her boobs.


Hooray! In celebration of your new found fatherdom, I made you this webpage (http://www.beerzombie.com/delegal.html)!
Way ahead of you :P

[Keller]

So we had a first birthday party on Saturday. My wife made her a carrot-pineapple cake with cream cheese frosting.

Below are the four phases of eating one's first piece of cake.

Skepticism.

http://i417.photobucket.com/albums/pp256/bobberyt/DaphneCake-thetastetest.jpg

Gluttony.

http://i417.photobucket.com/albums/pp256/bobberyt/DaphneCake-theapproach.jpg

Managed expectations.

http://i417.photobucket.com/albums/pp256/bobberyt/DaphneCake-managablebite.jpg

And finally, satisfaction.

http://i417.photobucket.com/albums/pp256/bobberyt/DaphneCake-Success.jpg

[Rucca]

Too cute.

[waywardgs]

Jesus fucking Christ, that's cute.

[Tisket]

It's been a year already? Jesus.

[Back]

Why is she bald? Is that the new French look for babies this year?

Oh, and awesome for you, on the whole baby thing I guess.

[AnticorRifling]

Very awesome man. Smart not going with blue frosting THAT SHIT STAINS EVERYTHING! Why wasn't I warned?!

[Keller]

Why is she bald? Is that the new French look for babies this year?

She has Aryan parents. She will get white-blonde hair around age 2.

[AnticorRifling]

She has Aryan parents. She will get white-blonde hair around age 2.

She finally let you meet the father?

[Back]

She has Aryan parents. She will get white-blonde hair around age 2.

I thought maybe the Glen Beck look was hot over there.

[Keller]

She finally let you meet the father?

I leaned into that.

[AnticorRifling]

Just like prison.

[4a6c1]

CUTE!!

Mine would not eat the 1st bday cake. Probably because I made it. :(

[diethx]

Sheesh, she's so cute. Well done Keller.

[IorakeWarhammer]

Cute, congrats.

when is the Christening?

[Keller]

So Daphne turned three today.

Back, you'll be happy to see she has hair.

Also, not sure if I introduced him or not, but this is also our 9-month old puppy, George.

http://i417.photobucket.com/albums/pp256/bobberyt/daphneat3_zpsae80c5ad.jpg

[diethx]

She's adorable and that dress is precious.

But.. is she wearing lipstick!?

[Tgo01]

Little orphan Annie?

No disrespect intended, I think she's cute.

[Keller]

She's adorable and that dress is precious.

But.. is she wearing lipstick!?

No lipstick.

She is a pretty big tomboy.

[diethx]

Oh. Her lips look really dark, like she's got pinkish lipstick on. Ahah, ok.

[Delias]

Oh. Her lips look really dark, like she's got pinkish lipstick on. Ahah, ok.

It's wine.

[SHAFT]

Oh. Her lips look really dark, like she's got pinkish lipstick on. Ahah, ok.

She's a young warlock in the house of the undying

[DCSL]

She's adorable!

(Brush your dog. God, I cannot say it enough. I just had to shave a 10 month old 'doodle today because people do not know how to brush. It came off in a single piece, like a pelt, and there were sores underneath.)


... seriously, your kid is cute!

[Tisket]

lol @ George

[Keller]

It's wine.

The picture was before school. She only gets wine right before bed. Not sure why her lips are so dark. Superior genes, I suppose.

[Keller]

She's adorable!

(Brush your dog. God, I cannot say it enough. I just had to shave a 10 month old 'doodle today because people do not know how to brush. It came off in a single piece, like a pelt, and there were sores underneath.)


... seriously, your kid is cute!

Were you saying that because he looks matted, or because people generally need to know how important it is to brush their dogs? I brush one side of him once a week (it's too big a chore to do it all at once). So he gets a full brushing every other week. Not sure if I should be doing more. He's also due to the groomer this Friday.

[Methais]

So Daphne turned three today.

Back, you'll be happy to see she has hair.

Also, not sure if I introduced him or not, but this is also our 9-month old puppy, George.

http://i417.photobucket.com/albums/pp256/bobberyt/daphneat3_zpsae80c5ad.jpg

You named him after Bush didn't you?

[DCSL]

Just in general. The only way to be sure with that kind of hair is to put my hands on it and attempt to part the hair and see skin. I'm sure your groomer will tell you. He/she will try to be nice about it if he's matted but I'll rape your skull. n_n I take it so personally when someone I know has to have their dog shaved.

[AnticorRifling]

I shave my wiener. Come at me.

[Methais]

I shave my wiener. Come at me.

Post pics of your shaved wiener. And unshaved.

[Delias]

Post pics of your shaved wiener. And unshaved.

I vote half and half, like the old razor commercials.

[Methais]

I vote half and half, like the old razor commercials.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWEOxIJsxws

[DoctorUnne]

You've all got 7 months until I officially have spawned.

Mwahahahaha!

Congrats!

[Keller]

6 month warning. This time it's a boy.

[AnticorRifling]

Sweet!

[Gnome Rage]

Thalidomide!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcA-ChaGdYw

I had an art teacher who was a thalidomide baby. He was one of the most amazing artists I've seen in the flesh, he played banjo and drove a car as well--very impressive when you note that he has 1 stump (not a good term for that) and on half-arm with two fingers on it.

THATS IT.

HE IS CRAZY IMPRESSIVE.

[Tisket]

6 month warning. This time it's a boy.

That's great news.

Want a baby quilt? Working on one for Nikki's baby currently. I made one I didn't like so redoing it for her but you have six months before you need one anyway!

[Keller]

That's great news.

Want a baby quilt? Working on one for Nikki's baby currently. I made one I didn't like so redoing it for her but you have six months before you need one anyway!

That is a very generous offer.

For my last spawn, my sister had the quilts/bibs/towels on lock down. I expect she'll want to do the same for Spawn II.

[Keller]

I am honestly kind of bummed. I was really hoping for a girl.

Daphne is awesome and I know how badly she wants a sister.

It's a weird world. With Daphne I was devestated it was not a boy - now with Spawn II I'm upset it is a boy.

I think I might be having my period.

[diethx]

Just try for a girl on #3. Maybe you'll get lucky.

[Latrinsorm]

That is a very generous offer.

For my last spawn, my sister had the quilts/bibs/towels on lock down. I expect she'll want to do the same for Spawn II.I don't know your sister, and no offense, but her quilts are bullshit. Tisket's quilt changed my (and George Takei's) life.

[Whirlin]

Now I want a quilt :(

[Methais]

06-18-2014 01:52 PM
Thread: Keller ver 2.0
We get it. You never grew out of the wrestling phase. Sheesh. Enough with the stupid wrestling related posts.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWEOxIJsxws

[Allereli]

I am honestly kind of bummed. I was really hoping for a girl.

Daphne is awesome and I know how badly she wants a sister.

It's a weird world. With Daphne I was devestated it was not a boy - now with Spawn II I'm upset it is a boy.

I think I might be having my period.

congrats! pick up some pee pee tepees and you're good to go.

[Tisket]

Now I want a quilt :(

Have a baby and post about it!

[RichardCranium]

Have a baby and post about it!

You offering to make a baby...?

[Androidpk]

Congratulations on baby #2.

[Tisket]

You offering to make a baby...?

I'm done with that racket!

[Drew]

Congrats man! I have every confidence that you will teach your son to be a shittier basketball player than you are.



...but I bet you'll be a hell of a good father

[Keller]

Congrats man! I have every confidence that you will teach your son to be a shittier basketball player than you are.



...but I bet you'll be a hell of a good father

Both of his parents are purebread Hoosiers. It's unlikely even I can mess up that kind of head-start.

[gs4-PauperSid]

Doomed to Always asking "Whose yer mamma whose yer daddy "eh?

Congrats tho!

[Warriorbird]

Both of his parents are purebread Hoosiers. It's unlikely even I can mess up that kind of head-start.

Congratulations in general!

Just keep him in the wrestling phase forever also. It'll turn out much better than basketball or football.