I just found out.

[Sean of the Thread]

That after 7 months without a word or being allowed to speak to my girls they sent me post cards for father's day. I haven't been able to read them yet but the word of it made me cry.

This may be a good sign since every card or b-day gift I've sent them was returned and every call I've made has been screened "they're not here" my ass.

The other bad news is I can still not land a job and whatever is wrong with my arms and hands is still undiagnosed. Gotta love free health care in FL. Hard to get a job when your hands don't work and you now have to type with one finger as opposed to the 100 wpm prior and your whole career was based on fixing/type/programming/installing.

This blows. Nothing I want more than to support them and I have to have this woman get me dressed every morning.

ne ways there's my update in response to all the aims.

Sean

[Nieninque]

Read the fucking cards.
Take it as a starting point to build on.
Be lucky.

[Sean of the Thread]

Read the fucking cards.
Take it as a starting point to build on.
Be lucky.


I will read them as soon as I can get to my pop's house. They were mailed there. If Jen knew I was on some woman's couch things could get worse. Just playing it safe.

I can't wait to read them.

[Sean of the Thread]

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b236/Japgross/fathers.jpg

[Nieninque]

:)

[NocturnalRob]

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=irule

[Gan]

I will read them as soon as I can get to my pop's house. They were mailed there. If Jen knew I was on some woman's couch things could get worse. Just playing it safe.

I can't wait to read them.

You better hope she doesnt Wezas your ass.

[Sean of the Thread]

You better hope she doesnt Wezas your ass.

In order to wezas me she'd have to know how to use a computer first or even have internet let alone running water in the smokey mountains.

Anyways on a side note I was really pissed at her coming home at almost 5am with no excuse one night and totally antagonized her with a web (harmless) session until she came in the door.

Felt good that night but boy did I catch wezas hawkeye ever after that.

[CrystalTears]

Anyways on a side note I was really pissed at her coming home at almost 5am with no excuse one night and totally antagonized her with a web (harmless) session until she came in the door.:rofl:

She's not married to you, she doesn't answer to you, so I'm not sure why you would care what she was doing or how late for that matter. Unless she is more to you than a roommate and you're not admitting to it.

[Gan]

Anyways on a side note I was really pissed at her coming home at almost 5am with no excuse one night and totally antagonized her with a web (harmless) session until she came in the door.

Felt good that night but boy did I catch wezas hawkeye ever after that.

This got lost in translation somewhere.

She went out and got laid, came home at 5am, and you antagonized her with the internet until she came inside the house? Then she busted you in the eye?

:wtf:

[Sean of the Thread]

:rofl:

She's not married to you, she doesn't answer to you, so I'm not sure why you would care what she was doing or how late for that matter. Unless she is more to you than a roommate and you're not admitting to it.


ok ct I know you're on bitch patrol vs me but this is pretty obvious unless you're talking bout my current roommate hell I've been trying to hook her up with everyone I know so she leaves me alone. I'm talking about baby mama Jen.

WE LIVED TOGETHER AND RAISED TWO CHILDREN FOR DAMN NEAR 13 YEARS. I expect at least a phone call when she was supposed to be home at 2:30 instead of thinking the worse until 5am. Fuck whomever she wants but don't make me worry my ass off first of all and let me watch second of all.

When I call looking for her worried and they'll like oh no she left with douche bag a 2am what am I going to do just say "hey what's on HBO?" No I'm going to sit there and worry number 1 and stew over the woman I love with another man. It takes about 3 drinks b4 her panties drop. Of course there was a million things going through my mind including constantly checking the sheriff's accident/active call page every 5 minutes.

I'm sorry for having a fucking heart for who was my best friend. ffs

[Sean of the Thread]

This got lost in translation somewhere.

She went out and got laid, came home at 5am, and you antagonized her with the internet until she came inside the house? Then she busted you in the eye?

:wtf:


lol no she started to wezas wife me and watch my every movement on the cpu. That kind of hawk eye. She has busted me in the eye before out of jealousy however.

[CrystalTears]

ok ct I know you're on bitch patrol vs me but this is pretty obvious unless you're talking bout my current roommate hell I've been trying to hook her up with everyone I know so she leaves me alone. I'm talking about baby mama Jen.

WE LIVED TOGETHER AND RAISED TWO CHILDREN FOR DAMN NEAR 13 YEARS. I expect at least a phone call when she was supposed to be home at 2:30 instead of thinking the worse until 5am. Fuck whomever she wants but don't make me worry my ass off first of all and let me watch second of all.

When I call looking for her worried and they'll like oh no she left with douche bag a 2am what am I going to do just say "hey what's on HBO?" No I'm going to sit there and worry number 1 and stew over the woman I love with another man. It takes about 3 drinks b4 her panties drop. Of course there was a million things going through my mind including constantly checking the sheriff's accident/active call page every 5 minutes.

I'm sorry for having a fucking heart for who was my best friend. ffs
Sorry, I thought you were talking about your roommate, which is why that made no sense to me. My apologies for running to the wrong conclusions, seeing as how I have no idea why you would be tracking your ex.

Are you two getting a divorce or not? Did she leave the children alone all night? Why would she report to you her whereabouts if she's not living with you?

No I'm not trying to start anything, I'm trying to understand what is going on (silly me).

[Sean of the Thread]

no this was back when we were living together.


My current roommate I wish would stay out all night. Her snoring is out of control and she gets gropy despite me explaining I have no interest in that.

[CrystalTears]

OMG it was in the past?! Geez I thought this was now. FFS nevermind. LOL. Focus!

[Sean of the Thread]

And yes I'm still in love with Jen despite every thing. I'm not tracking her we haven't spoken in 7 months ffs.

But we had a deal for at least 1 year and something in the post card makes me thinks she broke that deal. Not to mention I was suppose to have weekly phone calls with the girls as well and I just now heard from them.

[CrystalTears]

What deal did you have that you feel is broken?

You still haven't said if you're going through with divorce proceedings. You may want to note that you haven't been allowed to contact your kids during the separation.

[Sean of the Thread]

Oh it was Red's comment "especially you're my favorite dad in the world" implied to me that there is a new "dad" around. Maybe I'm just paranoid.

I could have been going buck fucking wild here. I've lost 70lbs since she left.. get hit on all the time but I kept my side of the bargain ... so far unless I find out otherwise.

[Hulkein]

I think you might be being paranoid with regards to that sentence. I noticed it too but kids write like that. It doesn't mean there is another guy in her life. I don't think she would ever consider him a dad that quickly even if there was.

[CrystalTears]

Nah, you're just paranoid. Kids say "favorite" all the time even when it refers to their only one. I wouldn't worry about it.

So the bargain was to be faithful?

[NocturnalRob]

Oh it was Red's comment "especially your my favorite dad in the world"
don't try to make your child sound smarter than she is. she needs to lrn2grammar.

[AestheticLife]

don't try to make your child sound smarter than she is. she needs to lrn2grammar.

Her handwriting is pretty fucked too. Better third grade teachers FTW.

[Sean of the Thread]

bargain was no other men around my children and no women for me and obviously for me to "walk a lil straighter daddy" as the billy currington song says. Which I have sobered up since 3/20/09 with just a few nights out but hey that's normal.

A bottle a day is not normal.

If those horrid looking cards said (hehe) I never did my girls nothing but fun and love.

Anyways well fuck it anyways is all I got right now. Time will tell. All I can tell is that from those cards their education is severely lacking. The got pulled out of one of the best elems in the country to goto a school that probably doesn't have running water.

[Sean of the Thread]

don't try to make your child sound smarter than she is. she needs to lrn2grammar.


My daughter was on a 5th grade reading level/club in 2nd grade here. Tyvm.

[NocturnalRob]

My daughter was on a 5th grade reading level/club in 2nd grade here. Tyvm.
5th grade reading level in Florida? congrats....

edit: plus, those stamps are gay

[Sean of the Thread]

I'm telling ya I've been to this shit hole TN smokes town and it is BACKWOODS big time.

[Cephalopod]

I'm pretty sure the upper corner of the first one says "My dad is my Stan" -- so I think we all know who the 'new' dad in town is.

[Stanley Burrell]

I really, really hope things work out for you even though you are retarded.

Edited to shit out:


I'm pretty sure the upper corner of the first one says "My dad is my Stan" -- so I think we all know who the 'new' dad in town is.

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.

Wait, yeah it is. Shit.

[Euler]

I'm pretty sure the upper corner of the first one says "My dad is my Stan" -- so I think we all know who the 'new' dad in town is.

Congrats on the cards. I think you need to talk to the girls about honesty though. She told me I was her favorite. It hurts to think she is just telling all her dads the same thing.

[AnticorRifling]

Pretty sure those are just form cards printed to look like kid's hand writing since I've been getting the same exact ones for like 7 months now.


2 things:

Gratz on getting to hear from your kids.

I love the PC.

[AestheticLife]

Congrats on the cards. I think you need to talk to the girls about honesty though. She told me I was her favorite. It hurts to think she is just telling all her dads the same thing.

FFS. I thought she meant it.

[Sean of the Thread]

Pretty sure those are just form cards printed to look like kid's hand writing since I've been getting the same exact ones for like 7 months now.





lol they're legit I'd recognize them anywhere. Especially Kaitlyns.. the stick figures and mommy always has the big tits. That and she even drew "miky" aka Mickey and if you look close enough dokey aka docky my rat dog into the family picture.

I did look closer and it appears they used pencil first then it got traced over with pen.

And seriously thx it was the best day of my year. I was about to write the situation off.

[4a6c1]

Awesome Sean.

Those postcards are freakin adorable.

[Nieninque]

My daughter was on a 5th grade reading level/club in 2nd grade here. Tyvm.


I had a reading age of 13 when I was 8.

Still do as a matter of fact.

[Celephais]

The first couple posts were nice, especially the post cards, that's great... then you started babbling nonsense... I can't read this shit anymore man... I'm pulling for you, straiten shit out.

Step up.

[Miscast]

The first couple posts were nice, especially the post cards, that's great... then you started babbling nonsense... I can't read this shit anymore man... I'm pulling for you, straiten shit out.

Step up.
:yeahthat:

[Sean of the Thread]

Good news! Finally... FINALLY got a job a union job too. Pay is decent considering I won't have any living expenses. Problem is I have to leave my beloved beaches and FL environment/flora.

Does not start until August but no skin off my back. So I'm moving up to New York. They can all suck my Rays and Bucs Jersey wearing ass as well... even my old school creamsicle ones.

[AnticorRifling]

What's the job?

[Sean of the Thread]

Working for the Rochester War memorial /Blue cross arena mainly but includes a shit fuck of other venues as well. Will be working with my two cousins that I grew up with as well.

[AnticorRifling]

Doing what douche?

[Sean of the Thread]

Setting up for events/concerts and maintaining the arenas. Which is fucking fine with me since I can't type any longer and can't stand the thought of another 10 years under florescent lights and dealing with office politics.

And who cares it's a union job ftw.

[AnticorRifling]

Cool. Now just keep your shit straight and don't blow it. Time to rebuild son.

[Sean of the Thread]

Indeed. This much I promise. I'm sending a copy of my pay stub and 70% of the net to my ex for a year.

[AnticorRifling]

Indeed. This much I promise. I'm sending a copy of my pay stub and 70% of the net to my ex for a year.

See if it were me I'd send it to a bank account for the kids and have it set up for their use and well being. If she wants to buy school clothes, supplies, etc she can use the funds with approval and a receipt upon purchase.

[Sean of the Thread]

That's mainly the plan but even though she took every dime and possession of mine minus $30 she still has a lot of debt to pay off of which I am mainly responsible. She deserves to be able to pay off those cards and shit as well thus beneficial to my children as well.

I trust her when it comes to money she was the one in charge of the shit anyways. That much I'll give her.

That and I've only been able to send very little money in the past 7 months. I feel I'll be doing the right thing. All I've got for debt is doctor/hospital bills and now bills from BayPines VA which I don't understand since they never did shit for me.

And trying to talk with someone with any sense at the VA is a joke at best.

[Sean of the Thread]

Oh and Wayne I don't want to hear any shit from you but I plan on maybe hitting up the Army fag service in a year if this works out. We'll see what kind of shape I'm in then but I don't want to work in a fucking hockey arena forever.

Unless I can get a waiver for the (again save the shit lol) USN and go 8404. For those that don't know it's Corpsman. That way I can be back in the field with my boys and have a career in EMS or Firefighting after a couple years.

[AnticorRifling]

I wouldn't give you shit for that. I'd love to get back in I just don't see it happening. Now when the wife finally wises up and leaves me then that will probably become a real goal.

[Sean of the Thread]

I don't want to hear you say shit like that. You've got two lil Marines to bring up.

I had my girls doing pushups and pull ups/ hang times at 3 and 4 years old and they're ripped now and Red hits like a ton of bricks. Ain't no boys fucking with them.

I even taught Red some take downs and throat chops.

I know I'm a great father to the haters. Let your girls play with barbies. Mine can do both.

[diethx]

Indeed. This much I promise. I'm sending a copy of my pay stub and 70% of the net to my ex for a year.

That sounds like a good plan. DON'T FUCKING BLOW IT.

[Sean of the Thread]

That sounds like a good plan. DON'T FUCKING BLOW IT.


I've always said they are the most important people in my life I don't intend to blow it. Only thing that will change it is if my lodging exceeds 50 a week as promised. This job starts at 54kish a year (gotta love unions) so I should be okay as should they.

I also plan on getting a second job at the track so that may help me a bit.

[Keller]

Hopefully "betting" is not the second job.

Good for you, Sean.

Now, stop drinking. Seriously. Sobriety does amazing things for your physical and emotional health. Not to mention it will save you money in the long run.

[thefarmer]

See if it were me I'd send it to a bank account for the kids and have it set up for their use and well being. If she wants to buy school clothes, supplies, etc she can use the funds with approval and a receipt upon purchase.

If the Ex goes to court and gets papers, this plan won't work. I tried this very thing and was told No by my lawyers. Either the money gets taken at paycheck, or a straight check has to be written directly. The person paying can't decide where the money goes.

Now if both parties agree to it, sure, but... I don't see that happening.

[Jorddyn]

If the Ex goes to court and gets papers, this plan won't work. I tried this very thing and was told No by my lawyers. Either the money gets taken at paycheck, or a straight check has to be written directly. The person paying can't decide where the money goes.


How'd you factor food into your plan? Housing? Gas/car repair - only when travel is specifically for the kids? What if they go visit her parents, since it's as much for her as them? What if she uses coupons - does she get to take that extra out of the account because she put the effort into saving a few bucks? How about babysitting, because really you're paying HER to take care of the kids? What if one of the kids gets hurt while roughhousing with her and has to get stitches - should you have to pay all/part since it was her fault? And are you going to pay her for the extra time she has to take off work to take the kid to the doctor? And what about the decrease in her overtime pay since she can't work long hours with a kid at home? And what about the promotion she was passed up on because she couldn't dedicate as much to the job?

In other words: The reason it isn't allowed is that it's ridiculous. Yes, some women abuse it, but it most cases the woman isn't getting rich.

Even in Sean's situation - he's probably better off cutting her a check in case she eventually decides to seek back support.

[CrystalTears]

In other words: The reason it isn't allowed is that it's ridiculous. Yes, some women abuse it, but it most cases the woman isn't getting rich.That may be true, but I don't think men's objection of what the women are doing with the money is the issue... that's what alimony is for. When you have to pay child support, they want it to provide for the child... babysitting, day care, clothes, health care, school supplies... not for her to use to buy a new dress or handbag and the kid goes without.

[AnticorRifling]

How'd you factor food into your plan? Housing? Gas/car repair - only when travel is specifically for the kids? What if they go visit her parents, since it's as much for her as them? What if she uses coupons - does she get to take that extra out of the account because she put the effort into saving a few bucks? How about babysitting, because really you're paying HER to take care of the kids? What if one of the kids gets hurt while roughhousing with her and has to get stitches - should you have to pay all/part since it was her fault? And are you going to pay her for the extra time she has to take off work to take the kid to the doctor? And what about the decrease in her overtime pay since she can't work long hours with a kid at home? And what about the promotion she was passed up on because she couldn't dedicate as much to the job?

In other words: The reason it isn't allowed is that it's ridiculous. Yes, some women abuse it, but it most cases the woman isn't getting rich.

Even in Sean's situation - he's probably better off cutting her a check in case she eventually decides to seek back support. I think more than anything I'd want to see where my money is going in regard to my kids because they still are mine too. Show me the receipts, show me some kind of accountability in relation to the funds I'm providing for my children so I know it's being used for my children.

You site things like child care, doctor visits etc. When dad watches the kids are those things factored into payments so the amount is decreased in relation to his time off work, his time he gets to spend with the kids (you know baby sitting), etc, etc.

Edit to add: What if one of the kids gets hurt while roughhousing with her and has to get stitches - should you have to pay all/part since it was her fault?

Luls I'd sue for damages to my child and take custody as she's an unfit parent. Then I'd seek child support payments from her.

[Jorddyn]

That may be true, but I don't think men's objection of what the women are doing with the money is the issue... that's what alimony is for. When you have to pay child support, they want it to provide for the child... babysitting, day care, clothes, health care, school supplies... not for her to use to buy a new dress or handbag and the kid goes without.

I totally agree - so return to my questions on gas, coupons, and housing.



I think more than anything I'd want to see where my money is going in regard to my kids because they still are mine too. Show me the receipts, show me some kind of accountability in relation to the funds I'm providing for my children so I know it's being used for my children.

Let's say you pay $1000 a month for one kid. She provides receipts showing daycare was $500, and you know her rent is $1000. Are you satisfied? Or do you want more detail? What if daycare is $400 and rent is $800 and groceries are $400? Do you want receipts to see if she made out like a bandit since only $150 of the groceries were consumed by the kid?

If your kids are being neglected so she can buy nice clothes, take her to court.

[AnticorRifling]

I totally agree - so return to my questions on gas, coupons, and housing.



Let's say you pay $1000 a month for one kid. She provides receipts showing daycare was $500, and you know her rent is $1000. Are you satisfied? Or do you want more detail? What if daycare is $400 and rent is $800 and groceries are $400? Do you want receipts to see if she made out like a bandit since only $150 of the groceries were consumed by the kid?

If your kids are being neglected so she can buy nice clothes, take her to court.

Actually I wouldn't be satisfied. I'd want to see receipts for everything. Show me exactly where my money is going in regards to my child. Let me dump the payments into an account that's seperate from her earnings. One that the only deposits are my payments. Then show me receipts for all expenses using those funds. She can keep what she does with her money private, I would want to see my kids finances.

[Sylvan Dreams]

Actually I wouldn't be satisfied. I'd want to see receipts for everything. Show me exactly where my money is going in regards to my child. Let me dump the payments into an account that's seperate from her earnings. One that the only deposits are my payments. Then show me receipts for all expenses using those funds. She can keep what she does with her money private, I would want to see my kids finances.


I don't think that would work. How much rent does a kid owe? Do you base it on the square footage of their room? The amount of space they actually use? What? What about the groceries? Would you expect her to mark "kids" on certain things and only allow them to eat from 'their' groceries? How about a car? She'll have to drive them around. Will you expect her to document 'kid' miles vs personal miles? How much of the car should come out of that payment? What about maintanence, parking, gas and everything else car-related? Then there's utilities - water, gas, electric, cable. Internet. Phone. The list goes on and on.

Certain things you just can't itemize.

[Jorddyn]

Actually I wouldn't be satisfied. I'd want to see receipts for everything. Show me exactly where my money is going in regards to my child. Let me dump the payments into an account that's seperate from her earnings. One that the only deposits are my payments. Then show me receipts for all expenses using those funds. She can keep what she does with her money private, I would want to see my kids finances.

Let me guess. The wife pays the bills in your house?

It's not that easy, for reasons I listed earlier. I understand the frustration, especially if one feels his children is being neglected, but c'mon. That's ridiculous.

Plus, tell me - are you going to add MORE money if you have "underpaid" some months? And if you truly feel your child is being neglected, are you going to fight for custody?

[Back]

Glad to hear the good news, Seany. Hoping its the start of a streak. Ride that mrfr for all its worth.

[thefarmer]

If your kids are being neglected so she can buy nice clothes, take her to court.

Unfortunately, unless they're already in a high tax bracket (there's a ton of money around one way or another) and the kids live in the basement in a cage while the parent goes to the yacht club, etc etc.. it's virtually impossible to prove.

Example: Everyone eat at Mcdonalds, parent has $500 handbag/wallet.

No court in the world would say it's neglect.


Originally Posted by AnticorRifling
Actually I wouldn't be satisfied. I'd want to see receipts for everything. Show me exactly where my money is going in regards to my child. Let me dump the payments into an account that's seperate from her earnings. One that the only deposits are my payments. Then show me receipts for all expenses using those funds. She can keep what she does with her money private, I would want to see my kids finances.


There's absolutely nothing you can do as the non-custodial/paying parent. Family court doesn't consider there to BE "private money" and "child money" it's ALL "Household Money". Therefor, as long as there's no provable neglect, if that parent wants to do the example I used above, you're shit out of luck.


edit: I'd like it to happen that way, but there's no realistic way to do it that doesn't create impossible situations.

[Sean of the Thread]

If the Ex goes to court and gets papers, this plan won't work. I tried this very thing and was told No by my lawyers. Either the money gets taken at paycheck, or a straight check has to be written directly. The person paying can't decide where the money goes.

Now if both parties agree to it, sure, but... I don't see that happening.


Without reading the rest of the posts yet I'll interject and say we already have legal papers saying I'm absolved from all support since I supported them solely their entire lives prior of which and she signed it. It's a thick fucking stack of papers but none the less it's audio recorded and signed by her.

That being said she's not in FL any longer so I don't know how that will hold up in TN. We do have an agreement and I really do trust her to abide by it.


we'll see.

[Sean of the Thread]

Hopefully "betting" is not the second job.

Good for you, Sean.

Now, stop drinking. Seriously. Sobriety does amazing things for your physical and emotional health. Not to mention it will save you money in the long run.


Nah the second job will be horse training and care. Still have connections with a few stables.

[Sean of the Thread]

Actually I wouldn't be satisfied. I'd want to see receipts for everything. Show me exactly where my money is going in regards to my child. Let me dump the payments into an account that's seperate from her earnings. One that the only deposits are my payments. Then show me receipts for all expenses using those funds. She can keep what she does with her money private, I would want to see my kids finances.


Exactly. Everything will be itemized including what she pays on the debt. I don't mind her buying some clothes for herself either. The last couple years after losing my job was rough especially on her. She deserves some new clothes or wtf ever she wants as long as my kids come first.

Otherwise it's 7.62 x 39 time. (joking)

[thefarmer]

Exactly. Everything will be itemized including what she pays on the debt. I don't mind her buying some clothes for herself either. The last couple years after losing my job was rough especially on her. She deserves some new clothes or wtf ever she wants as long as my kids come first.

If you had read the posts I made earlier... you'd have read where I said that normally you cannot make her itemize anything when it comes to child payments.


Without reading the rest of the posts yet I'll interject and say we already have legal papers saying I'm absolved from all support since I supported them solely their entire lives prior of which and she signed it. It's a thick fucking stack of papers but none the less it's audio recorded and signed by her.

Somehow I think this is BS.. However if it is true, I don't think they'll work to your favor.

[Sean of the Thread]

Oh the papers are true without doubt. Not sure how it works in other states but when there is a separation while she receives state aid (in this case healthy kids program) the state comes after the father.

Took us about an hour in a room with three state people in a room at the courthouse showing all the receipts for diapers and support and shit before they asked her etc and about future support.

They stamped it and off we went. It's at my father's but it basically said I fulfilled all my duties for the 9 years and abstained me from the rest unless bs circumstances happen (which they have).



As for the itemization I'm not to worried about it. As far as I'm concerned she'll follow through on it and not only that I COMPLETELY trust her to put it towards the children first and her/our debt second. I feel 100 percent about that and I don't ever feel 100 percent about shit.

Besides she deserves some new clothes and shit for herself as well.

Anyways we'll see and we'll follow up later.