The power of habaneros....

[Jayvn]

So...today I saw habanero peppers for sale..figured I haven't actually tried them on hot wings instead of jalepeno..but I heard they were supposed to be way hotter...

fast forward to cooking... done with cooking... me going to take a piss... now obviously I wash my hands after using the bathroom..but generally not before... mistake #1

about 2 minutes after it feels like my junk has been cut in half with a fucking knife...
cutscene to me trying to run mr happy under cold water Mistake #2

.... OH THE SAME RULES APPLY FOR IN YOUR MOUTH WITH HOT STUFF....it spreads it... right now it just kind of feels like fire ants marching all over...
Lesson learned... i'm going to wear gloves next time I cook with those fuckers

[Kitsun]

Ouch. What the hell are you supposed to do once it hits the crotch? Knead your package with bread and milk?

[thefarmer]

/wrists

[LMingrone]

My hippie aunt used to grow horseradish on her farm and sell it. I spilled a single drop of it on my crotch once. Hours later it felt like my junk was on fire and about to fall off.

Best idea? Lemme rub my balls and then touch my face. Burning eyeballs and nuts at the same time is fun.

[Jayvn]

here's a fun fact for those that eat jalepenos or think they are hot..

even though scovial units aren't used anymore...

Scoville units are the units used to rate the heat of peppers.
A typical Jalapeno pepper is about 4,500 Scoville units

Habaneros are the hottest chile peppers and rate around 200,000 - 300,000

[Jayvn]

im debating having sex with a bowl of ice cream right now

[iJin]

ROFL.

Do it. Take pics.

[Stanley Burrell]

I picked my nose after handling one and instantly had a nose bleed. It was badass.

[Keller]

I was going to suggest sticking your dick in a container of sour cream.

But ice cream works, too.

[LMingrone]

I used an Aloe plant.

[Jaimaltz]

Habaneros are a hell of a lot of fun - once you've developed a tolerance to them. I've met tons of guys with macho complexes, that don't want to look like a pussy in front of girls, magnified greatly by alcohol. I'd get the hottest ones I could find, make a salsa from it, and bring it to a party. Act casual dipping corn chips in it, warn a random drunk guy that it's way too hot for them to handle, while keeping a smug look on your face.

The reactions are priceless, and hey, you warned them after all!

Keep all IPA's out of reach (strong hops are awesome for neutralizing the heat, they're the pure potions of spices) for full effect.

[Miscast]

You know it's the acid, right? Dairy products ftw

[LMingrone]

Just crush up some Tums and dome that shit.

[Androidpk]

Ouch. What the hell are you supposed to do once it hits the crotch? Knead your package with bread and milk?

Apply Icy Hot!

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Sugar is a great neutralizer, too. Like, just plain granulated sugar. Obviously though, it won't feel so great on your junk.

I second the ice cream notion!

[Fallen]

The dog carrying the dildo for "This thread delivers" would have been far more appropriate here. Funny stuff.

Unless your junk is on fire.

[Methais]

So...today I saw habanero peppers for sale..figured I haven't actually tried them on hot wings instead of jalepeno..but I heard they were supposed to be way hotter...

fast forward to cooking... done with cooking... me going to take a piss... now obviously I wash my hands after using the bathroom..but generally not before... mistake #1

about 2 minutes after it feels like my junk has been cut in half with a fucking knife...
cutscene to me trying to run mr happy under cold water Mistake #2

.... OH THE SAME RULES APPLY FOR IN YOUR MOUTH WITH HOT STUFF....it spreads it... right now it just kind of feels like fire ants marching all over...
Lesson learned... i'm going to wear gloves next time I cook with those fuckers

Lesson learned: Don't put your penis in your mouth after fapping with habanero peppers.

[BriarFox]

I was at a mexican restaurant that has a "Mucho Macho Burrito" challenge, where if you can eat the whole burrito, it's free. So, I ordered it for the hell of it. What they don't tell you is that they fucking POISON it with habaneros.

When I got the thing, it had nothing inside it except diced habaneros and chicken pieces marinated in an habanero sauce, and then it was smothered with more green habanero pepper sauce. I've eaten whole habaneros before, and I don't mind them all that much, but that fucker was insane. I took one bite, decided $10 was even close to worth the pain of eating it, and gave it to the waiter. I told him that it was the most inedible thing I'd ever been served, and that the cooks had poisoned it - not that he cared.

I'm still pretty annoyed about it. It's one thing to have a burrito challenge; it's another to have one where the only way to "win" is to commit suicide by peppers.

[LMingrone]

There's a Mexican place near me that just closed. They used to sell $27 GIANT bowls of mixed rum. Drink it, it's free. Thing was pure margarita mix and 151. Try eating that on top of all the peppers they put on your food so there was no way you could finish the drink.

I finished the drink both time I got it. I rock.

[Methais]

The dog carrying the dildo for "This thread delivers" would have been far more appropriate here. Funny stuff.

Unless your junk is on fire.

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a162/DoyleHargraves/ballfire.gif

[ViridianAsp]

Oh god, I feel sorry for you, but at the same time I almost laughed till I cried.

Also the horseradish story, oh god.

Thanks though, I seriously needed to laugh.

[Asha]

About 12 years ago I got my first apartment and one night I chopped up some Haberneros for my chilli.
I went for a piss or scratched my balls (dont remember which) and I had no idea chillies would cause pain to skin but christ it was unbearable. Then for some fucked up reason I rubbed my eyes aswell because I'm clever like that. Finally the electricity went off throughout the entire street / grid and I'm there straddling the sink trying to get my balls in water while blind, in the pitch dark, groaning with tears streaming from my eyes.
Just as my then girlfriend arrived home. She'd thought I'd gone completely and utterly insane.

[Methais]

About 12 years ago I got my first apartment and one night I chopped up some Haberneros for my chilli.
I went for a piss or scratched my balls (dont remember which) and I had no idea chillies would cause pain to skin but christ it was unbearable. Then for some fucked up reason I rubbed my eyes aswell because I'm clever like that. Finally the electricity went off throughout the entire street / grid and I'm there straddling the sink trying to get my balls in water while blind, in the pitch dark, groaning with tears streaming from my eyes.
Just as my then girlfriend arrived home. She'd thought I'd gone completely and utterly insane.

This is one of the best stories I've ever heard in my life.

[LMingrone]

This is one of the best stories I've ever heard in my life.

What the fuck? You have Billy and the Shamwow guy in your sig. They tell much better stories.

(Nothing against Drayal, because that sounds funny as hell.)
Edit: Nothing against you either, Methais. I just had to point out your infomercial dudes as a sig. Feel free, not that you need my permission, to call me out when I do the same.

SLAPCHOP MOTHERFUCKER

[The Ponzzz]

SLAPCHOP MOTHERFUCKER
Watch this, you're going to love my nuts!

I had a friend named Paul in high school who use to bet people they couldn't eat a habanero pepper. He use to do it on the back of the school bus on the way home. He'd bet anyone they couldn't eat it without spitting/puking it back up. And they couldn't have anything to drink until they got off the bus. He'd bet them $5. The $5 ain't worth the habanero death grip on your mouth.

[Geshron]

This is one of the best stories I've ever heard in my life.

I concur, 10/10

[Gan]

This thread is gold.

Narcissia wins with the sugar. The transfer effect is caused by the capsaicinoid oily type substance produced in the chili peppers. It has an oil base so water just spreads it around, and yes, so do your hands.

Sugar, especially granulated sugar, soaks up the oil, to which I've used with great effects. Much like using kitty litter to soak up oil that gets on the surface of your garage floor or driveway.

[StrayRogue]

Never scratch your balls or rub your eyes when dealing with this sort of power.

[ElvenFury]

Never scratch your balls or rub your eyes when dealing with this sort of power.

Thankfully, I learned the eyes/nose-picking lessons after handling garlic, which is probably 1/1,000th the strength of those peppers. And now, thanks to this thread of hilarity, I know to powder my balls with confectioner's sugar should my balls ever get pepper acid on them. :-D

[Fallen]

Thankfully, I learned the eyes/nose-picking lessons after handling garlic, which is probably 1/1,000th the strength of those peppers. And now, thanks to this thread of hilarity, I know to powder my balls with confectioner's sugar should my balls ever get pepper acid on them. :-D

Important safety tip. Thanks Egon.

[StrayRogue]

You know, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through you head. You remember that?

[Asha]

You know, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through you head. You remember that?

That would've worked if you hadn't have stopped me..

[Bhuryn]

Habaneros are actually only usually ~100k scoville units.

Now bhut jolokia pepper (~1million units) and Scotch bonnets (~500k units), you're talking serious pain.

[Baelog]

So, that begs the question...

Where would...

http://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/wiggum-pepper.jpg

The Merciless Peppers of Quetzlzacatenango - Grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum rate on the scoville unit?

[Asha]

I have scotch bonnets in my fridge. I got drunk and ate one whole on Wednesday night and it just never stopped hurting.
It's like.. I'd say it's like a whole new kind of pain. Heh

[Mikalmas]

Funfacts from Wiki:

In 2000, scientists at India's Defence Research Laboratory (DRL) reported a rating of 855,000 units on the Scoville scale,and in 2004 an Indian company obtained a rating of 1,041,427 units through HPLC analysis. This makes it almost twice as hot as the Red Savina pepper, Guinness World Record holder at that time. For comparison, pure capsaicin (the chemical responsible for the pungency of pepper plants) rates at 15,000,000–16,000,000 Scoville units.


One seed from a Naga Jolokia can produce sustained intense pain sensations in the mouth for up to 30 minutes before subsiding. Extreme care should be taken when ingesting the pepper and its seeds, so as to not get it in the eyes. It is used as a cure for stomach ailments. It is also used as a remedy to summer heat, presumably by inducing perspiration. In northeastern India the peppers are smeared on fences or used in smoke bombs as a safety precaution to keep wild elephants at a distance.


On 9 April 2009 Anandita Dutta Tamuly, a 26 year old Indian woman, ate 51 Naga Jolokia peppers in two minutes.[15] The attempt took place in Jorhat, India and is expected to be accepted into the Guinness World Records. Celebrity chef and restaurateur Gordon Ramsay was present.

[Bhuryn]

Bhut jolokia pepper aka Naga Jolokia is the hottest pepper in the world, it recently (within the past few years) replaced the Red Savina as the hottest pepper. The only things above on the SHU scale are police pepper spray, capsaicinoids and pure capsaicin.

Just a fun fact. It is said that under the old SHU test (the one that preceded the liquid chromatography(sp?) tests) that it would take all of the water on the planet plus most of the sugar just to dissipate the heat of a single jolokia pepper =).

[Mikalmas]

Bhut jolokia pepper aka Naga Jolokia is the hottest pepper in the world, it recently (within the past few years) replaced the Red Savina as the hottest pepper. The only things above on the SHU scale are police pepper spray, capsaicinoids and pure capsaicin.

Just a fun fact. It is said that under the old SHU test (the one that preceded the liquid chromatography(sp?) tests) that it would take all of the water on the planet plus most of the sugar just to dissipate the heat of a single jolokia pepper =).


Dayum: 5,000,000–5,300,000 Law Enforcement Grade pepper spray,[4] FN 303 irritant ammunition

[Bhuryn]

Dayum: 5,000,000–5,300,000 Law Enforcement Grade pepper spray,[4] FN 303 irritant ammunition

Pure Capsaicin is like 15million+

[Mikalmas]

Pure Capsaicin is like 15million+

Yup. That was in my previous post.

I was only alluding to the fact that if habanero hurts THAT bad (at way less than a million) can you imagine what 5,000,000-6,000,000 units would feel like in your eyes? Damn.

How can that not cause damage to human tissue?

[Bhuryn]

Yup. That was in my previous post.

I was only alluding to the fact that if habanero hurts THAT bad (at way less than a million) can you imagine what 5,000,000-6,000,000 units would feel like in your eyes? Damn.

How can that not cause damage to human tissue?

It can if you have contacts in.

[Baelog]

Fuck "Don't taze me bro!"

I think I'd rather take the tazer than the pepper spray to the eyes.

[Bhuryn]

I've been pepper sprayed by a friend. The eyes hurt but the throat swelling is the scarey part. It's like getting chocked for 20 minutes.

[Fallen]

I posted this story on another board..and it was subsequently pulled. The story of your fiery junk is apparently quite offensive, Javyn.

[Drakefang]

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a162/DoyleHargraves/ballfire.gif

That's spectacular.