e-mail signatures, wtf

[Keller]

What is the most obscene signature you've seen?

This is my best friend's signature. I think it makes him look like a complete tool.



Keller's Best Friend
U.S. Customs and Border Protection
Office of Information & Technology (OIT)
Enterprise Data Management & Engineering Division (EDME)
Enterprise Systems Engineering Group (ESEG)
Platform Engineering Branch (PEB)
Windows Engineering Team Deputy Government Lead
Opsware Project Government Lead
(Office) 555-555-5555
(Blackberry) 555-555-5555
Kellers.best.friend@cbp.dhs.gov (Kellers.best.friend@cbp.dhs.gov)

Why in the world does he need to list all those titles? Is that really necessary?

Also, I love how he calls it his blackberry instead of his cell phone. When you call him, his voicemail says, "Hi, you've reached I'm-a-tool's blackberry, please leave a message."

[CrystalTears]

Wow, that's obnoxious. Even my idiot of a CTO isn't that bad.

[Jorddyn]

One of the girls I work with has animated dancing turkeys in hers. I really want IT to smack her down for it.

[Trouble]

Here are some of the people I work with:

John H. Doe, ED.D (ABD), MBA
Senior Security Engineer
Information/Physical Security
Secure Flight Operation & Maintenance
Department of Homeland Security (DHS)
Transportation Security Administration (TSA)
Transportation Threat Assessment & Credentialing (TTAC)
(555) 555-5555

John Doe, CISSP SSCP CAP CEH CSEPS MCSE MCSA
Senior Information Security Architect, TSA
Phone: 555-555-5555
Transportation Security Administration
IT Security Branch
1200 Somewhere Street
BlahBlah Building
5th Floor Office 555-5
Arlington, VA 22202-5555

And to be fair, here's mine:

John Doe, CISSP
Primary Certifier (contractor)
TSA IT Security Division (OIT/ITSD)
555-555-5555

[Keller]

John Doe, CISSP
Primary Certifier (contractor)
TSA IT Security Division (OIT/ITSD)
555-555-5555

Mine:

Dustin Doe
Manager - Passthroughs
National Tax Office
Deloitte Tax LLP
Office: 202.555.5555
Mobile: 202.555.5555
Fax: 202.555.555
me@deloitte.com (me@deloitte.com)
www.deloitte.com (http://www.deloitte.com/)

[Back]

Why do people put their email addresses in their email sigs? Uh, if you emailed me, I got your email address.

[CrystalTears]

Why do people put their email addresses in their email sigs? Uh, if you emailed me, I got your email address.
In case it gets forwarded and that person wishes to reply to the original sender.

[Kitsun]

Some people get their rocks off on being big, important and having lots of titles. I find it funny but whatever makes you happy, right?

[Sean]

Why do people put their email addresses in their email sigs? Uh, if you emailed me, I got your email address.

Some offices have these things called files and printers...

I don't even have my job title in my email sig. It's just:

Name
Company
Address
Phone: Fax:
website

[Back]

In case it gets forwarded and that person wishes to reply to the original sender.

Even then the original email sender’s address should already be forwarded as well.

[Keller]

Even then the original email sender’s address should already be forwarded as well.

Do you use Outlook?

[CrystalTears]

Even then the original email sender’s address should already be forwarded as well.
No sir.

[Back]

Some offices have these things called files and printers...

I don't even have my job title in my email sig. It's just:

Name
Company
Address
Phone: Fax:
website

You still use paper? I bet you have pens and pencils too.

But, yeah, my sig is nearly the same...

Name
Title
web site
phone number

[Allereli]

Even then the original email sender’s address should already be forwarded as well.

sometimes email formatting will hide the address as it goes from person to person because it can get changed by a "display as" option in one of the parties' address books.

So instead of showing jdoe@xxx.com, it's shown as Doe, John or whatever with no address attached.

[Keller]

You still use paper? I bet you have pens and pencils too.

But, yeah, my sig is nearly the same...

Name
Title
web site
phone number

I have a stapler, too. Have you seen it?

[Back]

I’m on a Mac and use Mail. I just forwarded myself an email and the originator’s address is included as a hyperlink.

But hey its just text in an email sig. Put it in if you want.

[Back]

I have a stapler, too. Have you seen it?

http://www.thejobbored.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/10221_office_space_stapler_with_milton1.jpg

[crazymage]

Bruce
AIM: RPGAuctions2
Yahoo!: RPGAuctions2
Windows live: rpgauctions2@hotmail.com
www.gsauctions.com

[CrystalTears]

I’m on a Mac and use Mail. I just forwarded myself an email and the originator’s address is included as a hyperlink.

But hey its just text in an email sig. Put it in if you want.
1) Our business doesn't use Macs.

2) We use Outlook. As Allereli said, when the email is forwarded, if the user forwarding has aliases for the email, the name won't convert to the email address.

[Parkbandit]

Mine is:

Name
Title
Company
Address
City, State Zip
Phone #
eFax #
Email address
Website address

[Jorddyn]

Tamara XXXX
Assistant Corporate Controller
XXX, L.L.C.
Telephone: (319) XXX-XXXX Fax: (319) XXX-XXXX
me@mycompanywebsite.com (me@mycompanywebsite.com)


I include the company name because it's not readily apparent from the email address who I work for (abbreviated name). I include my title to feel special.

In all honesty, I delete it from 90% of the emails I send and just sign them with my first name.

[Trouble]

In all honesty, I delete it from 90% of the emails I send and just sign them with my first name.
I usually only put my signature on emails I originate; for replies I only add it if it helps third parties understand my role.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

That shit is annoying.

My messages say "Hey you've reached Nikki (last name if it's a work number), I can't make it to the phone right now, leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Internet wise, I leave just my name, or a name and number. I'll use other stuff only if it's requested/pertinent.

[CrystalTears]

I usually only put my signature on emails I originate; for replies I only add it if it helps third parties understand my role.
Same

[The Ponzzz]

My old one was:

Name
Title (just one, not 17 like Keller's friend)
Number at Office
Number to Cell
Email
Mailing address (which included company name)

I guess that is kind of long now that I think of it, but it's all useful info and it covers everything. It gets annoying when I would get an email asking for our address (to send payment) or my number alternate number to get ahold of me outside the office. My co worker in my department at the time also put the website and made it all pretty colored.


I usually only put my signature on emails I originate; for replies I only add it if it helps third parties understand my role.

Yeah, especially if you have a lot of conversations going back and forth via email. I hate when people keep adding their sig.

[Keller]

Mine is:

Michael Doe
Fluffer
Vivid Videos
XXX Happy Street
Van Nuys, CA 90063
555.555.5555
555.555.5555
me@vivid.com
www.dontbanmekranar.com (http://www.dontbanmekranar.com)

I thought you lived in Florida?

[Sean]

I refuse to give clients my cell number since I don't have a company cell. I also refuse to answer emails from my blackberry but I read them all just so I know if I'm walking into a shitstorm in the morning.

[Back]

I usually only put my signature on emails I originate; for replies I only add it if it helps third parties understand my role.

This is where title is most important.

[Keller]

I refuse to give clients my cell number since I don't have a company cell. I also refuse to answer emails from my blackberry but I read them all just so I know if I'm walking into a shitstorm in the morning.

My cell number is my work cell, which I wont answer.

I have a similar policy on e-mails, unless it's from someone who I like that needs my help.

But if it's from some douchebag partner who asks me to review a 30 pg memo at 10pm, and he needs it first thing in the morning . . . uhhhh, I went to bed early, sorry.

[Back]

I thought you lived in Florida?

I think one of those doctored links is a forum offense.

Not that it offends me, mind you... just saying.

[The Ponzzz]

I dunno, I love owning a PDA and checking email via the Samsung. Might be the most useful thing ever for me. I didn't have a company cell at Kodak, but they gave us a credit to our bill. We were out of the office so much that it was a must.

[BriarFox]

John H. Doe, ED.D (ABD), MBA

What the fuck is up with that? Being ABD (all but dissertation) doesn't mean he has a Doctor of Ed degree. It means he stopped before he got it, or he's still working on it.

[Trouble]

What the fuck is up with that? Being ABD (all but dissertation) doesn't mean he has a Doctor of Ed degree. It means he stopped before he got it, or he's still working on it.

Ah I wondered what ABD meant. Thanks.

Interesting degree choices for a tech guy.

[Celephais]

I’m on a Mac and use Mail. I just forwarded myself an email and the originator’s address is included as a hyperlink.

But hey its just text in an email sig. Put it in if you want.
Regardless of Mac or not, if forwarded through a domain outside of yours, with a "Display As" name, you will lose the address.

For me my signature/format is mandated by workplace policy, no control over it.

[Latrinsorm]

John Doe, CISSP SSCP CAP CEH CSEPS MCSE MCSA
Come on, there's no way that's real.

[Back]

Regardless of Mac or not, if forwarded through a domain outside of yours, with a "Display As" name, you will lose the address.

I didn’t mean to make a big controversy out of why people put their email addresses in their email sigs. Maybe its Mac, maybe its applications, maybe its just me. It just seems redundant.

[Keller]

I didn’t mean to make a big controversy out of why people put their email addresses in their email sigs. Maybe its Mac, maybe its applications, maybe its just me. It just seems redundant.

You should have just said, "I didn't mean to make an ass out of myself. I didn't realize that Outlook uses aliases. You learn something new everyday."

I agree that to someone who doesn't know that, it would seem redundant. But don't act like everyone else is weird. Even if they are, it just makes you look like an ass.

/publicserviceannouncement

[Stanley Burrell]

"Hi, you've reached I'm-a-tool's blackberry, please leave a message."

That's the problem right there,

He needs to coordinate his e-mail signatures with his phone-type sheeot, nukka. Check this ol' fly shit out:

"Salutations and welcome, you've reached the Keller's Best Friend and U.S. Customs and Border Protection associates. We can't get to the phone right now, as we're busy cruising at light speed tearing the galaxy a new black hole, but I'd like to inform you that the Office of Information & Technology is on my curriculum vitae. As such, please do not hesitate to notice my awesome Enterprising and Data Management, plus Engineering Division: And perhaps masturbate furiously to these qualifications.

But wait:

If you stay on the phone for a few minutes longer listening to this dumbass message, I, or one of my reptilian overlords will be very happy to direct you to our systems engineering group, who fixed the drive core on the U.S.S. Enterprise.

On your left, you'll notice our platform engineering group. There's a lot of engineering, that's cool. You'll also be happy to know that we have a delightful selection of engineering branches, which can be ripped off the engineering tree, and be used as a switch on misbehaving children, or to stick with great pointy thrust-itude in your eye socket.

Lastly, some stuff about Windows Engineering, Opsware, and Government Leads.

This is Keller's Best friend, you can reach me at Kellers.best.friend@cbp.dhs.gov this message will self-destruct in two nanoseconds. Goodbye bitches and enjoy the Pearly Gates mothafuckaz.

Sincerely, Keller's Best Friend.

*boop*."

[Kranar]

I don't own a phone and my e-mail signature, if I bother to type one in, is simply my first name.

[Back]

You should have just said, "I didn't mean to make an ass out of myself. I didn't realize that Outlook uses aliases. You learn something new everyday."

I agree that to someone who doesn't know that, it would seem redundant. But don't act like everyone else is weird. Even if they are, it just makes you look like an ass.

There is a term for making fun of somebody who does not know some obscure game rule. God, it’s ancient and I am showing my age...

Anyway, I guess Outlook sucks ass.

[AnticorRifling]

Come on, there's no way that's real. I could see it. I don't put all my certifications behind my name there's no need.

[The Ponzzz]

People who don't have post counts only have titles. Penis envy is the rave.

[Kuyuk]

Mine:

Pastry (person with name starting with P)
www.chef(lastname).com
(444) 444-4444

[Trouble]

Come on, there's no way that's real.

Yeah this guy is crazy smart, he has two side businesses (one is teaching MCSE classes at night) in addition to his 'day job' as an Information Security Architect.

[Mistomeer]

Come on, there's no way that's real.

What are you talking about? There's not one impressive cert on there.

[Athgo]

Speaking of trying to be important, this is one of my classmates sending me an email about asking for notes:

Toolbag medical student, MSII
UTMB - Galveston
(c) 555-555-5555
(h) 555-555-5555

[Nieninque]

All these people share the same phone?

[Gan]

Name
Title
Branch
Phone
Fax

[Keller]

All these people share the same phone?

Except for Kuyuk.

[Daniel]

Mine is pretty big. I only use it when I'm emailing a group, official correspondence, or someone who might not know who I am.

It goes like this:

Name
Position Title
Division
Office
Phone Number(s)
Contractor Status (Legally mandated)
Puff Daddy Quote

[Keller]

Puff Daddy Quote

rofl

[iJin]

rofl

:yeahthat:

[Drew]

This was my previous job:


Drew Doe
Vice President, design
Company Name
Bay & Deveaux Street, Nassau Bahamas
Office Phone
Email

And my current one:


Drew Doe - optimist
CEO
Semi-employed Writer Industries
Parent's house
Cell phone

[Soulpieced]

Soulpieced Violentstorm
Bard God
OTF Bashing LLC. (est. 2004)
Gyldemar Road, Ta'Illistim
Soulpieced@forum.gsplayers.com

[Stanley Burrell]

Peon.
Feudal Serf.
Ridiculously unemployed.
Your mother.

[Clove]

Name
Department
Company
Phone
Fax

If they received a forwarded email, I don't want to talk to them.

[Mistomeer]

I don't own a phone and my e-mail signature, if I bother to type one in, is simply my first name.

Same. I just sign it my first name.