Question for any vets on pc

[Jayvn]

I was deployed back in 03, I saw some shit I wish I hadn't, I experienced some things I consider good(or an opportunity to see things I normally wouldn't have under civilian life..good for lack of a more precise term) I had a few brushes with potential death, one extremely close rocket. When I got home from that deployment I was more confused than anything as to why I was still in existance.
So, I've been out of the service since Dec 2004.... with a few little on and off ups and downs.. For a while things seemed new again.. as if colors were brighter, like I had been reborn and was amused again with the simple pleasures of being home.
now 5 years later things start regurgitating for no damn reason.. it's not 'movie flashbacks'..I dont find myself lying on the ground in the prone position fighting off imaginary people... But I do seriously zone out for a while at a time.. sometimes a smell will trigger it.. a shitload of memories flood into my head all at once and kind of just overload my thoughts. I don't think I really enjoy physically talking about it with people because that just makes me think even more about everything.
I don't drink like every day..but when I do drink it's usually to where it makes me go to sleep.. it works quicker than the tylenol
I don't want to become one of those old men mumbling to themselves outside the VA.. hell I thought everything was good for the last few years then it just starts coming in waves like shit happened yesterday.
Part of me really misses that shithole I spent 9 months in, but I don't ever want to go back..


So what the hell do you do to vent.. or make it go away?


I also really hate the fake pep talks people give you... on my extremely bad days I just shut off the world pretty much, I go about my work, just much more quietly, pretty much playing scenes in my head..then some fucktard comes up with a 'what's wrong frowny face?' type dumb ass line. and instead of replying how I'd like I have to do the socially acceptable oh just having a bad day answer.
I've tossed around the social pill idea.. whatever the one is that makes you happy to go out in public, but pills dont fix thoughts.
I guess my fear is if I ignore it more, in another 5 years it will kick back even worse..

[BriarFox]

Try talking with a psychologist who specializes in psychoanalysis. What you're describing is pretty much Freud invented that method to help. I think you're right to avoid stop-gap measures, like pills.

Frankly, though, get a better opinion than the PC. :)

[The Ponzzz]

Frankly, though, get a better opinion than the PC. :)

:yeahthat:

Unless you want this thread to become a monk thread.

[diethx]

Shit, I thought this was going to be about a crusty pet or something.

[Celephais]

I don't want to become one of those old men mumbling to themselves outside the VA..
My father is a Vietnam vet, and he is really active with the local VFW, he recently got a cobra helicopter decomished and emplaced outside the VFW hall and I gotta say it's pretty badass.

I have spent some time recently hanging out with the vets there and they have some amazing stories. They have very few young vets, but the younger ones I have met there have been terrific and really wish more younger vets would join. It's a great organization and it really does require the younger vets getting involved to make the organization what it is. It's your organization...

[Junarra]

Find someone you can talk to. Anyone. I know our local vet groups formed specifically for you guys are nearly empty, they have to go searching for people.

Maybe it has something to do with a different culture, a different time. Vietnam vets were treated like shit, but there was still the "togetherness" feeling going on. I don't think this country, right now, has that.

I hired a vet and sometimes I can just tell, too. Sometimes he talks to me about it, and sometimes he's just lost in the task at hand.

Good luck, man. And thank you.

[Daniel]

Go to the VA. You're exhibiting symptons of post traumatic stress order.

Get psychological help and start trying to talk through the shit you did. Get it documented, because it's not going to get any better until you learn to reconcile the shit you saw\did and it's ony going to degenerate. If you document then the services you need will be there. If not, you'll get royally fucked in the ass and end up on the streets.


I'm a vet, battle of Fallujah and mosul and I grew up in VA hospitals because my father is 100% mentally disabled. Trust me when I say that you don't want to delude yourself into thinking it's alright, and you'll just get over it. Because You won't.

[Allereli]

D- always here if you want to share the misery. Love that you've been back.

[Durgrimst]

I am also a vet and just about to complete my 3rd combat tour. I would have to tell you to not talk to a shrink or anyone that does not have similar experiences. Normally that will lead to you saying things that others may not feel are normal or healthy. I think your best bet is to find locals that can relate to you, possible at the VA or the VFW. Being able to bullshit over a beer is what I found helps the most. Just talking about what you did, the good and the bad, makes it easier.

[diethx]

I would have to tell you to not talk to a shrink or anyone that does not have similar experiences. Normally that will lead to you saying things that others may not feel are normal or healthy.

Seriously? So the only people who talk to therapists are normal, healthy people? I mean come on, what do you think the shrinks are there for? To help you with the stuff that's fucking you up, assuming you have a decent one that you can open up to.

[Durgrimst]

From my experiences it is easier to talk to people that have gone through the same shit, making it less awkward to have to talk to a shrink that has never seen the things that I have.

[thefarmer]

It's always awkward talking to a shrink, regardless of your problem. That's part of the reason you go, to get over the awkwardness of talking about your issues.

[diethx]

From my experiences it is easier to talk to people that have gone through the same shit, making it less awkward to have to talk to a shrink that has never seen the things that I have.

I can understand that completely, however...


It's always awkward talking to a shrink, regardless of your problem. That's part of the reason you go, to get over the awkwardness of talking about your issues.

That. Once you get over the awkwardness, hopefully you can realize that if you picked a good one, they can help you if you really want help.

[Warriorbird]

Shrinks are sort of like cars. I imagine even in the VA system you can work to find one that works right for you.

[Stanley Burrell]

Don't drag your feet when it comes to making your sessions. You want to gain more out of a psych session than just having gone to and from an appointment.

I can't make you have that extra enthusiasm about benefiting from therapy (beyond simply keeping appointments.) Or somehow make it that you won't ask yourself the question about treatment's effectiveness. That's really up to you. And you don't have to be super-open-100% talkative 100% of the time during your sessions, or using behavior techniques you might learn to help heal your pain.

I always ask myself whether or not I'm blinding myself, but I realize that I'm blinding myself, no matter what it is that I do, the second I engage in any sort of activity that prevents me from ruminating and recreating the stress of certain things I've gone through.

You could just sit around for hours and dwell on things, rationalizing things by thanking yourself for the gift of thought. Ultimately, it's your choice -- You won't really know what you have to benefit from therapy until you begin. If you already make up your mind and say, "This isn't the exact replicated scenario(s) that hurt me, therefor I can't make anyone understand what I feel without identical physical proof" then you're already feeding a mentality that could hamper the progress of therapy: There also aren't any rules that say you can't tell your doctor/social worker/etc. that you feel resistant to what the ultimate outcome of your sessions will be, because of a questioning mindset either.

In the end, there is virtually nothing, logically, that you could possibly have to lose by seeing a shrink.

[Ker_Thwap]

From personal experience, the wrong psychiatrist can indeed mess you up. I ended up on precscription medication that made me feel quite content with my incredibly self destructive bad habits. (Not a good combination, I assure you.)

f you think about it, for many psychiartrists, their goal is to get you to come back week after week, month after month because they have to pay their own bills. It's kind of like a car mechanic, you have to find one you trust. If you go the route of seeking professional help, don't be afraid to try out a few different doctors until you find one who seems to have a good game plan.

A psychiatrist did eventually help me recover from my problems, not by asking me about my childhood, or analyzing my divorce, or asking about my scary dreams and all that touchy feely crap. She told me what I already knew, just the cold hard facts: A person's current behavior and actions sets a pattern of good habits and positive thoughts. For me it was a matter of establishing a strict routine, involving myself in real life activities of family and friends, and even getting off the internet gaming habit for a long time.

Will this work for you? I've no idea, I haven't gone through what you've gone through. My only real point is to find a method that you can buy into. Baby steps, but start today.

[Daniel]

I'm going to join the group of people saying that you shouldn't see a shrink unless they have experience with vets and their experiences. They don't neccessarily have to be veterans themselves but they should have significant experience with them.


PTSD is a strange beast and a regular shrink is liable to put you on meds or diagnose you with things that aren't true @ all.

It took my father over 20 years before he could find a doctor that just wouldn't default to him being bi-polar and tossing meds @ him.

[Gan]

Not a vet, but since other non-vets are chiming in I will too. My father was a PJ and part of the down pilot recovery network in Cambodia. He saw and did some things that really fucked him up. Listening to him now, it wasnt the shrinks that helped him through life 'afterwards', it was his fellow vets talking and working through it. The meds that he was perscribed to shelf the issues just fucked him up worse by repressing what needed to be worked out.

You really need to talk, repeatedly and consistently, with those who have been there and done that. Talking should be your first option to anything medicinal.

You can find them at VFW's, local lodge (mason, elk, etc.), or any other community center.

[Durgrimst]

I am not saying shrinks are bad, but anyone coming back from Iraq anymore has to talk to 'specialists' and they do not help. After my second deployment I was 'diagnosed' with PTSD and TBI. I do not feel that I have either and had to go through tons of paperwork just to get that taken out of my medical record so that I could stay in the military.

What I am saying is find someone through the VA or VFW or online that has similar experiences. If I were to start telling stories chances are half of you would think I am a freak and no longer want to see me posting, but to others that have seen real combat, we relate.

To the original poster, feel free to PM me and I will be back in the states by the end of the month and we can shoot the shit on email or AIM anytime. I am pretty sure I understand your situation, and just make sure that the people you do talk to are not going to make your situation worse.

[AnticorRifling]

Go to the VA, when you do talk to someone make sure you don't hold anything back. Let them know exactly what's going on. Don't bottle it up. Me I was lucky and my boss was former Army special forces, it's nice to have a drinking buddy that understands what having a bad day really means.

I would remind you that you're totally normal. I think most of us that got out miss it, but no one really wants to go to war...it's a weird feeling and one that a civilian just won't get.

[Euler]

Shrinks are like women. You should date around a lot before you get married. Don't commit to the first one you meet. Also, sometimes you have to find one that makes you uncomfortable a little bit. You want to be challenged to stretch a little bit.

Go to the VA to get this documented. You don't want to try to come back 20 years later to get help. Get shit on paper.

[Daniel]

I am not saying shrinks are bad, but anyone coming back from Iraq anymore has to talk to 'specialists' and they do not help. After my second deployment I was 'diagnosed' with PTSD and TBI. I do not feel that I have either and had to go through tons of paperwork just to get that taken out of my medical record so that I could stay in the military.

What I am saying is find someone through the VA or VFW or online that has similar experiences. If I were to start telling stories chances are half of you would think I am a freak and no longer want to see me posting, but to others that have seen real combat, we relate.

To the original poster, feel free to PM me and I will be back in the states by the end of the month and we can shoot the shit on email or AIM anytime. I am pretty sure I understand your situation, and just make sure that the people you do talk to are not going to make your situation worse.

Honestly, I am not going to support these statements.

You may think that the specialists are unable to help but that also probably stems from your own denial. I too can tell you plenty of "fucked up" stories, but I don't have people telling me I have PTSD nor do I have to reconcile any of those stories with people who "know what it's like". The two things do not go hand in hand.

After Vietnam it was discovered that PTSD took about 5-10 years to really manifest itself, partly because that's how long it took the people to realize that they really had an issue with the things that happened. Then it was usually in some explosive event or a complete fucking breakdown that triggered it. That's not cool.

We're just now hitting that stage with Afghanistan and Iraq vets, and I don't think a lot of people appreciate the train thats coming through the night on this one.

I'd suggest that *both* of you get over yourself and try and talk about the things you went through, and not just to your buddies who are just as likely to enable as they are to help. If NOTHING ELSE, get it documented. In 15 years, when\if shit finally hits the fan, you don't want to get turned away from the VA because you never documented anything, because they can and will do that. It took my father until 1994 to get his full benefits from Vietnam.

[SoupyPoopy]

I am not a fan of the way the Army treats PTSD. According to them I had some very bad experiences and I had PTSD. They did not talk to me, they did not ask me any questions, I had 0 symptoms but yet I still had PTSD because they thought I should. They sent me to mental health and instantly put me on like 5 different drugs to help me cope with the stress of being back in the states, to sleep, and to help me deal with the depression that comes along with PTSD. This happened to my whole squad (6 guys), we were all in a helicopter crash, and all of us ended up getting a medical discharge due to it.

All I can suggest is talk to someone, doesn't have to be a professionals, just someone who can relate to what you went through. VFW is always a good outlet several veterans that have been dealing with the same thing for a few decades and have learned ways to cope with it outside of mental health.

I was a 19D (Cavalry Scout) in the Army, 2-9 Cav, 3HBCT, 4th ID out of Fort Carson, CO and ended up getting attached to 101st while in Iraq to spear head some of their operations. We did the largest air assault mission in history.

Every need anyone to talk to feel free to message me.