View Full Version : ball squeezing and pricks
Euler
03-17-2009, 11:55 AM
Got my yearly check up. First one in 20 years. Sucks. I was ready for a finger in my ass, but was unprepared for the mashing of my balls cancer check. Fucking nazi doctors.
radamanthys
03-17-2009, 12:09 PM
If they were Nazi, you'd be a large Euler lampshade by now.
Your testes would be the pull-chain.
Euler
03-17-2009, 12:11 PM
valid.
NocturnalRob
03-17-2009, 12:28 PM
and disturbing
Some Rogue
03-17-2009, 12:43 PM
Not really a yearly if it's the first one in 20 years now is it?
Methais
03-17-2009, 01:52 PM
20 yearly.
Stanley Burrell
03-17-2009, 02:25 PM
I just go in to get feeled up.
Euler
03-18-2009, 11:44 AM
So I just got my results back. No ball cancer. No prostate issues. I do have a mole on my back they want to look at. And then the worst. My cholesterol is horrid. The doctor asked how much daily exercise I get. I looked her straight in the eye and told her I solo at least one warcamp per day, minimum. That is like 70 to 200 orcs, giants, or trolls depending on how long it has been there.
Then she gave me the icey stare and told me to run, fatboy, run. I asked isn't there a pill you can give me? The guy from princess bride sells one on TV I think. She told me to run and exercise.
What the fuck? I pay my taxes. I pay my medical insurance, my co-pays, and my pharmacy bills. I don't want some multi-bazzillionaire telling me to run. You have a pad of paper and a pen that can magically make all sorts of wonderful drugs appear. Write my Rx doc! Damnit. I hate exercise.
CrystalTears
03-18-2009, 11:50 AM
Suck it up and get on that treadmill.
Kuyuk
03-18-2009, 12:04 PM
run
Some Rogue
03-18-2009, 12:13 PM
Run Forrest
I looked her straight in the eye and told her I solo at least one warcamp per day, minimum. That is like 70 to 200 orcs, giants, or trolls depending on how long it has been there.
I lolled
Ashlander
03-18-2009, 12:18 PM
So you got your balls mashed by a chick and you paid for it? Nice.
Allereli
03-18-2009, 05:29 PM
How timely: http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/03/16/prostate.cancer.screening/index.html
If Darth Vader can get cancer, you can, too: http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/18/darth.vader.cancer/
Methais
03-18-2009, 05:35 PM
So I just got my results back. No ball cancer. No prostate issues. I do have a mole on my back they want to look at. And then the worst. My cholesterol is horrid. The doctor asked how much daily exercise I get. I looked her straight in the eye and told her I solo at least one warcamp per day, minimum. That is like 70 to 200 orcs, giants, or trolls depending on how long it has been there.
Then she gave me the icey stare and told me to run, fatboy, run. I asked isn't there a pill you can give me? The guy from princess bride sells one on TV I think. She told me to run and exercise.
What the fuck? I pay my taxes. I pay my medical insurance, my co-pays, and my pharmacy bills. I don't want some multi-bazzillionaire telling me to run. You have a pad of paper and a pen that can magically make all sorts of wonderful drugs appear. Write my Rx doc! Damnit. I hate exercise.
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f183/Alphidius/Humour/worfgif.gif
Keller
03-18-2009, 06:29 PM
I will be going to the doctor for the first time since my last sports-related physical (2003). Since then I've gained 30 lbs, stopped exercising, started playing video games again, and got a job where I sit on my ass 12 hrs a day.
My appointment is tomorrow. I am scared.
Ashlander
03-18-2009, 07:13 PM
Just tell your doctor the world is ending in 2012 anyway so a few more years of bad habits won't hurt you.
Euler
04-06-2009, 07:34 PM
I have lost 8 pounds. I am forced to go on nightly walks with the wife. Have not had cholestrol rechecked. My pants fit better, but I still hate exercise.
Celephais
04-06-2009, 08:06 PM
Waaaah
Euler
04-06-2009, 08:09 PM
8 pounds mutha fucka. By this time next year I will only be morbidly obese.
Just tell your doctor the world is ending in 2012 anyway so a few more years of bad habits won't hurt you.
:(
Khariz
04-06-2009, 08:49 PM
great thread title
Shari
04-06-2009, 09:47 PM
I looked her straight in the eye and told her I solo at least one warcamp per day, minimum. That is like 70 to 200 orcs, giants, or trolls depending on how long it has been there.
That's fucking great. I snarfed hard on that one.
Jorddyn
04-06-2009, 10:00 PM
Any other women have no sympathy?
Or is it just me because I have horrid genes and had to had my first mammogram at 27?
NocturnalRob
04-06-2009, 10:24 PM
i'm a dude and i have no sympathy. then again, i'm an asshole.
Wait, you had a female doctor touch your bait and tackle and are complaining about it?
Methais
04-06-2009, 10:28 PM
Maybe she was fat.
NocturnalRob
04-06-2009, 10:30 PM
maybe her dick was bigger than his
Allereli
04-06-2009, 10:35 PM
Any other women have no sympathy?
does the word speculum mean anything to you? (no, I don't have sympathy)
http://a510.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/64/l_6c1f3044a73b08adf233287ab3574b1d.jpg
Methais
04-06-2009, 10:47 PM
http://a510.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/64/l_6c1f3044a73b08adf233287ab3574b1d.jpg
http://silenthill.ugo.com/images/galleries/silenthill_enemies_games/bubbleheadnurse_1.jpg
ElanthianSiren
04-07-2009, 08:54 AM
Any other women have no sympathy?
Or is it just me because I have horrid genes and had to had my first mammogram at 27?
no sympathy. My reasons are my own, but don't involve hatred of mammograms, balls, pricks, or squeezing them.
Euler
05-03-2009, 01:37 AM
down 22 pounds. Can now fit into my old pants which are 38 waist. Still doing nightly walks and eating psyllium (sp) which I call poop-powder. Still haven't has cholesterol re-tested.
http://silenthill.ugo.com/images/galleries/silenthill_enemies_games/bubbleheadnurse_1.jpg
I'd hit that nurse.
Sean of the Thread
05-03-2009, 03:53 AM
down 22 pounds. Can now fit into my old pants which are 38 waist. Still doing nightly walks and eating psyllium (sp) which I call poop-powder. Still haven't has cholesterol re-tested.
Yeah I went on what used to be a routine nightly walk at my old neighborhood the other night... except I forgot I was in the new neighborhood (aka hood) and I got accosted for not having a cig on me when dude asked.
Nice bruise on my arm and behind my ear.
And yes I was a pussy and kicked my flops off an ran. Hard to defend yourself with one arm. Unless you're like bruce lee.
All that aside I'm down to 175ish. (from 250 last march) Mostly from lack of eating and depression and an illness I dealt with however I did follow my doc's directions and followed the dash diet prior... sort of. Just some Modifications.
I quit drinking a 2 liter of soda a day first off. Quit drinking a shit ton of alcohol. Started eating salads more evidently it's good for your digestive system. Started 5 mile walks. Started eating publix fat free light yogurts and quit eating so much tuna since she said some shit about mercury.
Oh and then I was homeless and drank from park water fountains that helps too.
But seriously it's easy to lose the weight by just changing a few things at a time. I've been doing everything one step/day at a time and getting positive results.
However it's hard to fix my fucking blood pressure bullshit for some reason no matter what I try.
My goal is to not have to be on any meds whatsoever.
But seriously look into DASH. It wasn't that hard to follow and gave results.
I'm wearing 34/35's now compared to a 44 waist a year ago.
radamanthys
05-03-2009, 04:42 AM
I refuse to gain weight. Not that it would be easy...
I don't wanna buy new clothes :-(
Stanley Burrell
05-03-2009, 09:34 AM
http://www.cairnsmowercity.com/images/craftsman%20chainsaw%2035020.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2286/2351154947_ea1de396d8.jpg
http://img.en.china.cn/0/0,0,237,1689,360,360,9907b1a0.jpg
http://www.colesarmysurplus.com/catalog/851a_1_48_1.JPG
Instant weight-loss.
Ker_Thwap
05-03-2009, 10:02 AM
I went from 240 to 180 a few years back with a twenty minute bike ride five days a week and a complete change of diet. Fruits, grains, water, etc.
Positives: I was able to breath better, my acid reflux went away, my barely functioning knees hurt less, I slept better, I rediscovered my love for the outdoors, I remembered that apples taste good! Holy shit, I just felt better overall.
I've since slacked off, and am maintaining 210 with minimal effort. I have an exercise bike parked by the monitor and jump on that during all of my lame scripted guild reps. I take the dog on four 5-20 minute walks per day depending on the weather.
Just pretend you're gaining levels in real life. It's kind of fun.
Euler
07-28-2009, 09:21 PM
36 waist. was 34 at my wedding. I would say I am more chubby than fat at this point. Maybe even normal with a potbelly. I know you were all wondering, so I thought I'd bump. Also my cholesterol is normal/good. Go me!
Still walking about an hour a night and two yoga classes per week.
AnticorRifling
07-29-2009, 08:47 AM
Gratz man. I'm hitting iron again and seeing if I can get bigger. I think last weigh in I was 250.
NocturnalRob
07-29-2009, 08:50 AM
Gratz man. I'm hitting iron again and seeing if I can get bigger. I think last weigh in I was 250.
dude...aren't you like 5'10"? You get any bigger, and you'll need to invest in a forklift.
AnticorRifling
07-29-2009, 09:09 AM
Yeah I'm 5'10". The goal (won't ever happen) is to get my arms big enough that I can't scratch my own shoulders :)
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