Extreme Makeover: Pussy Edition

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

:rofl:


Okay, I'm all for a bitch doing what she has to do to get that pussy purring. If you got to go down to Home Depot and flirt with some power tools in hopes one might take you home and drill you down, FINE. But is a nut bust really worth turning your vagina into fucking shredded beef? The ho in this story answered a fuck yes to that question.

The 27-year-old woman of Saint Mary County in Maryland was airlifted to a hospital after a saber saw done fucked up her pussy. The woman and her dick for brains boyfriend decided it would be really fucking sexy to get all America Psycho on her vagina and fuck it with a "sex toy" (I'm assuming a dildo) attached to a saber saw. It wasn't long before the blade on the saw cut through the dildo and straight up turned her sugar walls into some BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT. The dumb bitch went from screaming "Oh baby" to "Oh baby my pussy fell off!!!!"

The bitch was released from the hospital on Monday. She told police that the idiotic sex act was consensual and no crime was committed. Yeah, tell that to her pussy. May it rest in fucking peace. A SAW UP YOUR PUSSY?! I mean, I hope that when they got home she took a power drill to his asshole so he can see how it feels. A SAW UP YOUR PUSSY? I still can't. She will never watch an episode of Home Improvement the same away.

And if you have a vagina, I hope you kept your hand over it the whole time. It didn't need to see this story. If it did, it would have turned inside out and closed its doors forever. It's not the one!

Compliments of D-Listed: http://www.dlisted.com/node/31100

Not as funny version: http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Woman-Severely-Injured-in-Sex-ToyPower-Tool-Encounter.html

[Cusack]

:gawk:

[Stanley Burrell]

Maybe it was one of those saws people from the South use as musical instruments because they're too poor to buy pianos and every time she orgasms, her labias play a high-ringing B sharp. On the saw.

Also, Nikkisaurus, I put this through the ebonics translator:


Okay, I'm all fo' uh beeotch doin' what she has ta do ta git dat poon-tang purring. If ya got ta jet down ta Home Depot an' flirt wiff some power tools in hopes one might take ya home an' drill ya down, FINE. But iz uh nut bust really worth turning yo' poon-tang into fucking shredded beef? The ho in dis here story answered uh fuq yeea ta dat queshun.

The 27-year-old biotch o' Saint Mary County in Maryland wuz airlifted ta uh hospital afta uh saber seen done fucked up her poon-tang. The biotch an' her jimmy fo' brains big poppa decided it would be really fucking phat ta git all America Psycho on her poon-tang an' fuq it wiff uh "sex toy" (I'm assuming uh dildo) attached ta uh saber seen. It wasn't long 'bfoe da blade on da seen cut through da dildo an' straight up turned her sugar walls into some BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT. The dum beeotch jet from screaming "Oh baby" ta "Oh baby muh ma fuckin poon-tang fell off!!!!"

The beeotch wuz released from da hospital on Monday. She told po-po dat da idiotic sex act wuz consensual an' nahh crime wuz committed. Yeah, tell dat ta her poon-tang. May it rest in fucking peace. A SAW UP YOUR PUSSY?! I mean, I hope dat when dey got home she took uh power drill ta his asshole so he can see how it feels. A SAW UP YOUR PUSSY? I still can't. She will never watch an episode o' Home Improvement da same away.

And if ya gots uh poon-tang, I hope ya kept yo' hand over it da whole tyme. It didn't need ta see dis here story. If it did, it would gots turned inside out an' closed its doors forever. It's not da one! Just like mammy.

[Kuyuk]

thats hot.