Google knows that you need.

[Back]

Here is a fun little time waster.

Pull up Google and put in “[your first name] needs” into the search. Use the quotes. As an example “joe needs”.

The first page tells me that I need...

money to buy weapons

a committed family

another beer (hells yeah)

a shot at an education

an intervention (hells no)

an inclusive national dialogue

[Jorddyn]

Tamara needs:
structure - yep
a forever family - can't get rid of the one I have
your help - not really
our prayers - definitely not
a favor - always
a cell phone - have one
our prayers again! - definitely not!

[g++]

Patrick needs:

Your help aquiring penicillin ??????????????????????????? wtf # 1
game
to issue an update
freedom to bite
does not need danica patrick
a refresher course
to propose a raise in the gasoline tax
more love!

[Jorddyn]

Really should have named this thread The Jerk.

/and that's all I need.

[Nieninque]

Emma Needs:

Serious help (so true)

A love song

A belt rather badly :(

Help (I sense a bit of a theme here...)

You! (Unless you are Backlash)(Or Stainley)(Or any of you fuckers)

Your help

Helpful Answers

[Liagala]

Braces
Braces again (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dental%20plan%2C%20lisa%20needs%20 braces)
to get a life
braces
a nap
braces
braces
braces
braces

Back, your thread sucks. So does sharing a name with Lisa Simpson, it seems. :(

[Hips]

jessa needs...

to stay vigilant
nudes
to be cloned
to take english lessons
to come over soon
to clean it up

[g++]

Braces
Braces again (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dental%20plan%2C%20lisa%20needs%20 braces)
to get a life
braces
a nap
braces
braces
braces
braces

Back, your thread sucks. So does sharing a name with Lisa Simpson, it seems. :(

ROFL

DENTAL PLAN!

[Androidpk]

Justin needs..

to start playing smash bros. again
a date
to bring humble back
a clever display name
an attitude adjustment
to bring sexy back
to learn this isn't 500 bc and you can't bang every girl that makes your slinky go doing-!doing


oh man..

[Jorddyn]

jessa needs...

to be cloned


At least they like you - everyone is praying for me.

[Kyra231]

Karla needs

advice
a break
prayers
to turn 6 more or gain 150 more Zombie points to reach the next level (hah)
prayers again
more prayers(wtf?)
food manufacturing, recipes and such

[Some Rogue]

Kevin needs..

More beer (yes please)
to pee (must be the beer)
A liver transplant (I should probably lay off the beer)
to lay off the weed (maybe that too)
a job really soon (too much weed and beer?)

[Liagala]

Kevin needs..

More beer (yes please)
to pee (must be the beer)
A liver transplant (I should probably lay off the beer)
to lay off the weed (maybe that too)
a job really soon (too much weed and beer?)

:rofl: I think you just won the thread

[SHAFT]

- Steve needs to find a squirrel hitman
- Steve needs sleep
- Steve needs Enigmo too!
- Steve needs to deliver the Keynote at San Francisco this year
- Steve Needs The Money
- steve needs help (yes I do)

[diethx]

Stef needs guiny pigs for his intro to web design video tutorials!

stef needs boooost's Video Channel & Video Clips

stef needs to be ..fillled

Stef needs help!

Stef needs a car

Stef needs a partner!!!

[iJin]

Jen needs:

A break
To find a self righteous, conspicuous "I'm better than you" charitable position.
Needs a verb.
Needs to wise up.
Human anatomy lesson.

[Androidpk]

stef needs to be ..fillled



That sounds pretty ominous. :D

[Warriorbird]

Conan needs...

more time, AKA delay.
more cowbell!
a chemist just for hair care products.
women!
to go to an unknown actor much like Superman.
the axe to survive on later stages.
mere words to kill.
his hot dance moves and his high singing voice.

[TheSmooth1]

Dan needs...

Your Help!
your help! Which hottie should he dump?
life support
a new car
a change
a kidney
to change his pants
a haircut

Cool idea.

[LMingrone]

Larry needs a life supply of Tetralac.
Larry Needs a Fisking. (That doesn't sound good)
Larry needs the bathroom. (actually true)
Larry Needs Some Pie. (yep)
Larry needs a field staff.

Lawrence needs a nickname (^, But i'll take new suggestions)
Lawrence needs to get over himself.
Lawrence Needs Autism Community Support
Lawrence Needs to get his rabbit ass away from this wall

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Nikki needs:

your help
a bath
a home
you
some codes
some serious help
friends, clients, enemies and a boyfriend.
a valentine


I sense some desperation..

[NocturnalRob]

Robert needs...

money (who the fuck doesn't?)
a fair trial (hahaha...)
Simone and Wendy (depends on how they look...not really)
a change (true)
your help!
a Valentine (OH NOEZ PLZ LOVE ME!!1!11!)

[Drakefang]

Scott NEEDS Nude Models (Uhm, yes....yes, please)

Scott Needs This! (probably more nude models)

Why Scott needs a new liver (see three down from this)

Scott needs a real serious butt chewing (for all the nude models perhaps or for not smacking their asses like needs doing)

That Scott Needs More Sleep. (This one is actually true)

Scott needs help; drinking vino (I need a new liver, so I can't drink like I used to)

Scott Needs - Vox (I don't even wanna know)

[MotleyCrew]

needs ______.
needs three steps
needs to turn 6 more or gain 150 Werewolf points to reach next level
NEEDS TO FOLLOW UP WITH NEW PERSON IN CHARGE OF DOING. STUFF FOR COMFEST.
needs help!
needs to join pony club (again)
needs comments
needs a kick in the jaw and yeah ...
needs to win
needs more Christian partners for her ministry work
needs to get better about changing my status
needs to win the lotto
NEEDS TO SEND MIKE LAST THREE RITUAL. COUNTS
needs bracers...
needs more clothes foundation!
needs a life
needs luvin
needs to stop spamming the hell out of her blogroll!!!

Ok, that was the first 2 pages of 8..apparently I need a lot of things..who knew?

[Ausek]

David needs:
David Really Needs a Date (hah, yes please.)
Why Dirty David needs a wash (I'm a dirty boy.)
David needs a steady influence
David needs the beach! (not so much.)
David needs to do further investigations. (maybe I DO need the beach. FBI.)
DAVID NEEDS A BLACK FRIEND
The frist thing that david needs to do is cover the notice board ...
David Needs to Come home soon
My Son, David, Needs A Miracle

So...I guess I had that date with a girl at the beach, we got really dirty, met a black friend only to disappear, hence needing to cover the notice board because my father is sending me prayers to come home soon.

[Sile]

Lindsay (yes I got a girls name)

help
a bra (now im self concious)

Im done with this stupid game... (cry)

[Back]

Heh. This is so random. It was not my idea by the way. I got it from Buzzfeed (http://www.buzzfeed.com/jakehimself/ready-to-find-out-what-you-need-google-already-kn-55).

Just did my given name...

needs to play with confidence every time he steps on the floor.
needs to remain in jail, because if he gets out he will feel he has “beaten the system.”
Needs Information About Great Granduncle
needs your help!
needs more exposure.
needs to stick to the pulpit and not give up his Sunday job just yet!
needs the safety of marriage to protect her from an unscrupulous cousin and from the army of fortune-hunting scoundrels...
Needs-based holisim
needs a home.

All on the first of 10 pages.

[Back]

Patrick needs:

to propose a raise in the gasoline tax

I wouldn’t mind if you procrastinated on that one forever.

[TheRoseLady]

Anne:

needs to win sexiest veg! (Is that like a Terri Shiavo reference?)
needs no man
needs your support
needs a job (got a great one)
needs a jobby job (see above)
needs no enhancement
needs something to break up the black
needs to unequivocally apologize for entering an arena where she is inept. (time to stop..)

[Ardwen]

Dennis

needs to shit, I kid you not http://people.tribe.net/jodo/photos/bd7efe64-bd80-4e49-ae1a-401820e5e667

I also need a lawyer, but I win the thread with that answer

[Celephais]

...
a support person
to find her own destiny
to stall
to stretch cause it's so tiring being a baby!
to go on another motorcycle ride- minus the helmet
a stabilization of his syndesmosis
an opportunity with this team
to wake up and remember what the Browns have done for him already
time away from the program

[thefarmer]

needs help with a DJ beat
needs a free vent server
needs weight watchers
needs a haircut & a better song.
needs a home
needs help
needs numbers because he deleted half his contacts
needs a nap
needs a smaller swing
needs foster a beagle shepherd

Edit: a few more from later pages because they were funny

needs some hot sex
needs to power the bus up with specific items
needs more patrol officers
needs changing
needs medium to large size baskets
needs to keep his fingernails trimmed
needs you

[Back]

needs medium to large size baskets

Seriously, dude. Why are you slacking?

[Warriorbird]

Say what they will about you, Back, I bet you're far beyond the rest of us at the basket weaving game. Help him!

[diethx]

That sounds pretty ominous. :D

Hahaha. It was written in exactly the manner you think it was. I think it was from some personals site. :help:

[ElanthianSiren]

Melissa needs:

to take a break
lots of guidance
to board the blob ship that is hovering overhead? (mmm okay?)
a home
hydration after a walk (yes).
to be the next "bachelorette" (please for the love of all that is somewhat sacred no.)

[diethx]

BLOB SHIP ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!111111

[thefarmer]

BLOB SHIP ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!111111

http://files.gamezhero.com/images/gameLargeImages/big_[27].jpg

http://www.gamezhero.com/online-games/sports-games/blob_lander-freeonlinegame.html

[Skeeter]

Kyle needs a hotdog. ... I was feeling a bit peckish.

[Tisket]

The third one is a bit perturbing and the last one is just funny. Safe search was on:

Crystal needs a LOT of love.
Crystal needs someone that will be patience and someone who is willing to ...
Crystal needs to sit in a super-saturated solution to continue growing
Crystal Needs a Home!
Crystal needs just 6-8 inches of snow to open

[thefarmer]

The third one is a bit perturbing and the last one is just funny. Safe search was on:

Crystal needs a LOT of love.
Crystal needs someone that will be patience and someone who is willing to ...
Crystal needs to sit in a super-saturated solution to continue growing
Crystal Needs a Home!
Crystal needs just 6-8 inches of snow to open

Tisket r homeless mold that just needs lotsa lovin' during the winter months.

[Tisket]

Tisket r homeless mold that just needs lotsa lovin' during the winter months.

Lotsa 6-8 inch lovin'.

[Alfster]

Scott Needs to Check Out a Sex Shop

Scott Needs To Relax! - AOL Video

Scott needs to back up his regrets with action

Scott Needs - Vox

Scott Needs to Leave Wal-Mart

[SayGoodbye]

Jessica needs...

Coffee
To stop dressing like a slut
A bigger bra
To put some clothes on
A haircut
A root touch-up
to know that she is BEAUTIFUL!
to rent a new camera
to work on her technique

Damn.. I guess I'm a stripper/porn star..a tired one.

[Rimalon]

Bryan needs...

a top.
a title for his homepage.
a job.
to ink me.
a pad.
board members.
288 ounces of black paint and 480 ounces of white paint.
to get a life.

...Yep, pretty accurate. Where do they sell paint wholesale?

[thefarmer]

Same place they sell medium to large baskets, duh!

[The Ponzzz]

Mario needs...

...drugs.
...food.
...to stay on his meds.
...to comb his greasy hair.

Man, wtf...

[diethx]

...to comb his greasy hair.

ROFL

[diethx]

I decided to use my full name to see what else I could come up with...

...a strong man, stronger than she
...to learn to deal with her own problems
...an "A" really bad!
...to stop skipping school! (lol so true)
...to get out more
...to pay her debt to society for her juvenile crimes and for breaking ...
...a picture posted! It's not fair to hide beauty from the world!
...a room view profile
...to stop watchin chick flicks they are all made up
...to take a break for girls night this week
...a quick nap
...to stop being a trifalin hoe (ROFL)
...to memorize those time tables
...her own fan club


Fuck, there's a lot of these.

[thefarmer]

...to stop being a trifalin hoe (ROFL)

...her own fan club


Fuck, there's a lot of these.

Google knows what's up!

[diethx]

Google knows what's up!


needs weight watchers

Word.

http://members.airsoftcanada.com/digital_assasin/Forum%20Stuff/Misc/oh_snap.gif

[thefarmer]

I'm not fat.

I'm pleasantly plump.

Kthxbai

[Kyra231]

I tried it with my full name, fun times.

needs to hand him one of those weapons that went off without warning
needs another $40K to erase graffiti problems
needs Mexican holiday gala
needs to cut
needs her momma now
need healers. -paladins -resto druid -resto shaman -priests
needs to clean her room
should _wear a diaper____.
needs _to eat cheese already_
really needs to pee.

[TheRoseLady]

My given first name produced better results:

needs some protection
needs loving
needs the fashion police (I swear that must have been my daughter)
needs to stomp that latin out
needs your help in a beauty crown bid (rofl, right...)
needs to wear a second shoe
needs to see Jason
needs your prayers
needs justice, dignity
needs me to put something in the dryer
needs a drink
needs numbers
needs to go (Alright I get the hint.)

[Back]

needs a drink

It is Friday night after all.