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My friend has a race at 6AM in about 8 hours. He needs to gain 6 pounds in the that time, suggestions please.
Methais
02-28-2009, 10:05 PM
My friend has a race at 6AM in about 8 hours. He needs to gain 6 pounds in the that time, suggestions please.
www.play.net/gs4
Methais
02-28-2009, 10:08 PM
I think bananas are good too for a weight gain crunch. Lots of bananas. And toilet paper for later.
Cusack
02-28-2009, 10:10 PM
http://9.media.tumblr.com/i2dw5nf19jg0r4sylS6PRH2fo1_r2_500.jpg
happy meal pizza.
Warriorbird
02-28-2009, 10:12 PM
Question: How to gain weight fast?
Methais's answer:
www.play.net/gs4
http://stuff.orly.ch/img/blog/zomg-you-ve-won-internet.gif
BriarFox
02-28-2009, 10:16 PM
Well, he could eat six pounds of food, but then I doubt he'd be able to run. Can he wear really heavy shoes for the weigh-in or such?
mrjrd222
02-28-2009, 10:23 PM
Drink a few glasses of water before the weigh in, and go to the bathroom after the weigh in?
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/
Wesley
02-28-2009, 10:31 PM
1.
http://secure.condomania.com/images/L-KY_1_dt.jpg
2.
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3264/3162320388_2738b17e8c.jpg
3. Profit!!
(If more hints are needed, just see any of Methais' goatse's.)
Edit: sigh, fine. I guess I'll say something at least somewhat useful also.
Liquids, and lots of them. I don't think there's any physical way to digest and store 6 pounds worth of food in one day, but liquids, while he will pee them out before the race, can add the needed weight with efficiency since it sort of disperses itself evenly throughout the stomach if he can hold it until he gets weighed or whatever needs to happen. Boxers sometimes sweat themselves half to death before a weigh-in to make sure they're in the right weight class. Therefore, by the transitive property of sweating, the opposite should also work.
Methais
02-28-2009, 10:39 PM
Your friend is doomed to either piss himself during the race cause he's not gonna drop 6 pounds of liquid after weigh in, or he's gonna miss the race cause he's busy taking a huge dump.
Wesley
02-28-2009, 10:41 PM
Therefore, by the transitive property of pissing and dumping, the quarters are his only option. Lube is optional.
thefarmer
02-28-2009, 10:42 PM
Lots and lots of pasta with meat sauce.
Even if it doesn't help him gain weight, it'll help for the race.
Methais
02-28-2009, 10:50 PM
Or perhaps having to take such an urgent defcon 5 dump might actually make him win the race, depending on how resolved he is to not shit himself.
When you have to take a dump that badly, you temporarily gain superpowers. I know this from experience.
Kranar
02-28-2009, 10:53 PM
6 pounds is two and a half litres of water.
It's a respectable amount of water to drink.
Warriorbird
02-28-2009, 10:57 PM
Chinese buffet, gallon of ice cream, steak, pounds of beef, ground beef, carbohydrates...
'open a tab'
...according to my friend who does strongman competitions.
mrjrd222
02-28-2009, 11:04 PM
6 pounds is two and a half litres of water.
It's a respectable amount of water to drink.
Correct, but some is absorbed into the body, so if he starts now and drinks two glasses of water every hour till the race starts (needless to say, he wouldn't be sleeping much) but his body should absorb a a few pounds of the water to help hydrate him anyway.
On a related note, the most weight I've ever lost while sitting on the toilet is 4.7 pounds. It was a good one.
Xeromist
02-28-2009, 11:23 PM
Perhaps eating a lot of really salty food? It will make him need to drink water to balance it all out...water follows salt. I guess if he eats enough salt, he could retain a fair amount of water weight, possibly.
To clarify it's a kart race, so he'll be driving, not running. There are two divisions, lightweight is under 165, heavyweight is above 165. If he has to race in lightweight he'll be destroyed by 110 pounders. We've just returned from Ihop. Target weight: 165. Current weight: 164
mrjrd222
02-28-2009, 11:32 PM
To clarify it's a kart race, so he'll be driving, not running. There are two divisions, lightweight is under 165, heavyweight is above 165. If he has to race in lightweight he'll be destroyed by 110 pounders. We've just returned from Ihop. Target weight: 165. Current weight: 164
He'll take a massive dump in the morning and lose all that weight!
Yeah, he def. cannot dump until after weigh in.
mrjrd222
02-28-2009, 11:43 PM
I'm tellin ya, get him to drink as much water as he can about an hour before the weigh in, it'll allow just enough time for him to REALLY need to piss right after the weigh in, before the race.
Stunseed
03-01-2009, 01:21 AM
Also, peanut butter is a protien-heavy food that won't fuck you up. Peanut butter and pasta/sauce is going to be his best bet, along with one of the 3qt containers of water just before weigh in.
mrjrd222
03-01-2009, 01:43 AM
Also, peanut butter is a protien-heavy food that won't fuck you up. Peanut butter and pasta/sauce is going to be his best bet, along with one of the 3qt containers of water just before weigh in.
agreed
Celephais
03-01-2009, 02:23 AM
I think bananas are good too for a weight gain crunch. Lots of bananas. And toilet paper for later.
You watched a lot of Salute your shorts, didn't you?
Or perhaps having to take such an urgent defcon 5 dump might actually make him win the race, depending on how resolved he is to not shit himself.
When you have to take a dump that badly, you temporarily gain superpowers. I know this from experience.
I don't know why I quoted this, but it was in my "multiquote" when I hit reply, so I probably had a good reason.
kookiegod
03-01-2009, 03:14 AM
wtf???
Mario Kart has weight classes?????
/facepalm
Lots of cheese and bread. That stuff will plug anything up.
Androidpk
03-01-2009, 03:29 AM
Bacon explosion, imo.
:drool:
You win.
ElanthianSiren
03-01-2009, 11:15 AM
Salt + Water any kind of salt. Antidiuretic hormone is your friend.
Tsa`ah
03-01-2009, 11:49 AM
If you're going the water route, make sure that sodium and potassium are in the mix. Hyponatremia has taken many a runner down, some as far as 6ft.
BriarFox
03-01-2009, 11:55 AM
So what were the results of The Fattening of 09?
Warriorbird
03-01-2009, 12:13 PM
Magic: The Fattening.
Celephais
03-01-2009, 12:29 PM
The real answer... more organs.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/9/15706465_f936635cc6_m.jpg
Tea & Strumpets
03-01-2009, 12:30 PM
wtf???
Mario Kart has weight classes?????
/facepalm
Now that you mention it, I would kick everyone's ass at Mario Kart. My preferred racer is Yoshi.
Ignot
03-01-2009, 02:03 PM
The real answer... more organs.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/9/15706465_f936635cc6_m.jpg
lol. "Zim, you have head pigeon, go to the nurse!"
wtf???
Mario Kart has weight classes?????
/facepalm
Less Mario, more http://www.knfilters.com/images/press/kart1.jpg
BriarFox
03-01-2009, 04:19 PM
So .... ??
Stanley Burrell
03-01-2009, 04:24 PM
Just in general, don't drink shit tons of water and hold it in. I know go-carts are serious business, though, so water poisoning and kidney failure might be worth it.
So .... ??
Weighed in 2 pounds over.
It's an endurance race, still on going. Team is currently in 3rd place.
BriarFox
03-01-2009, 05:35 PM
Weighed in 2 pounds over.
It's an endurance race, still on going. Team is currently in 3rd place.
Ah ha. I hope he has an empty Pepsi bottle in the car with him.
Methais
03-01-2009, 08:11 PM
You watched a lot of Salute your shorts, didn't you?
Nah, I just remembered hearing that somewhere a long time ago. Fortunately.....
If you're going the water route, make sure that sodium and potassium are in the mix. Hyponatremia has taken many a runner down, some as far as 6ft.
....bananas are high in potassium.
On a related note, the most weight I've ever lost while sitting on the toilet is 4.7 pounds. It was a good one.
Best post ever (but I can't rep you again yet for it).
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