please support cancer research

[Amber]

My mom passed away last Sunday. I'm so utterly flipping lost right now. I keep thinking about things I want to tell her and the thought of never talking to her again hurts so much. Almost two years ago, she was told she had just a few months left, so I know I should be grateful to have had longer with her, but even knowing that, having her gone is so much more dreadful than I ever could have anticipated. She was hospitalized in December after falling and breaking her back and never got to come home again. She had to stop chemo while she was recovering and with the cessation, the cancer rapidly spread, resulting in kidney and liver failure. I am glad she's not hurting anymore, I really am, and I know it's selfish of me to wish she were still here, but I do. I'm trying to clean out her house today and I just really don't think I'm strong enough to do it. I'm haunted by memories with each new object I pack away. I started on the kitchen this morning and still haven't managed to finish it. I was holding up ok up till today. Her memorial service was Friday and I think keeping busy with that kept me distracted enough that I didn't lose it 'till afterwards. How on earth do people manage to get through this??? I think this would probably be easier, though never easy, if I had religious beliefs. I want to believe that she's alive out there somewhere and is happy and pain free. She was in so much agony the last few days. I know she was ready to go; she said as much the week before she passed away, but I think somewhere deep down, I never really thought she'd die.

Anyways, I'd like to ask you all to please support cancer research. Mom died of breast cancer that spread to just about everywhere, but research for any and all forms of cancer needs to be supported and adequately funded. Also, treasure your loved ones.

[diethx]

I'm sorry for your loss. :(

[Amber]

Thank you.

[diethx]

How on earth do people manage to get through this???

Hopefully, you just do as time goes on. There is no clear fix other than time, and possibly some anti-depressants. They helped my mom anyway.

Anyhow, if you aren't ready to go through and pack up her things, maybe the best thing would be to let them sit awhile. Unless you have to sell her house ASAP for some reason, i'd just wait until you were ready. Nothing good will come of rushing something like that.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

As for how people get through it-- like diethx said, time is the only thing that really makes it any easier. Just try to be compassionate with yourself and not feel guilty for whatever form your grief takes on. And ditto to not cleaning her house right now unless you absolutely must.. though you may never be fully "ready" per se, even just a few days to try to prepare yourself for the task could make a difference.

[Skeeter]

Cancer sucks. I'm very sorry for your loss.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Amber]

Thanks for the support. We got everything loaded into a moving truck today and will be taking it all to storage tomorrow. My brother is here from Iraq but has to go back Thursday so we've been trying to get the bulk of it done while he's here. In the summer when he comes back, we'll actually sort through everything. It was just too painful to sort through right now, but hopefully in the summer when everything isn't so fresh in our minds, we'll be better able to cope with it. On a slightly humorous note, my crazy ass aunt accused me of trying to steal her inheritance from my mom. She came over yesterday to collect the items my mom willed to her; three teapots and a whale kleenex dispenser. Because there have been an awful lot of hard feelings between my aunt and my brothers and me, I was trying to mend fences by giving her items which I thought she'd appreciate that weren't designated in my mom's will. I gave her a couple of ceramic figurines she'd always liked, an additional two teapots (my mom collected them), some teas and teacups to go with the pots, and two vases. Anyways, when I was wrapping and packaging everything up, I completely forgot to pack the stupid kleenex dispenser...so now she's called and bitched to everyone that I'm trying to "steal her inheritance" and she's gonna sue me. Nevermind calling me and asking if I'd forgotten it and would I mail it to her now that she's left. It's much easier for her to call people and bitch and moan about how evil I am. <eyeroll> I should be grateful to her, every day she gives me something new to be angry at her over and it's easier to focus on being angry than on being sad.

[Tisket]

My condolences.

[Methais]

My grandmother died from cancer this past August. It was pretty agonizing. Can't really add much except to what's already been said, that only time will help things. And drugs too I suppose, just don't go overboard.