Jorddyn
02-15-2009, 09:42 PM
So, I have to get up at 4 AM to get on a flight for Utah tomorrow for work. I'm sitting here having a beer, trying to decide if I truly hate my life, my job, or am just ridiculously bored.
Nothing happens. I had a friend I hadn't spoken to in 5 years call me. Both of her kids are getting married, she's going to be a grandma, she and her husband bought a new house, they've each gotten additional degrees, and have new jobs.
I, uh.. yea. Nothing.
There's something nice to be said about stability. I just got another promotion and raise, and am firmly in line to take over the Corporate Controller's job in 3-4 years when our CFO retires. I'm making good money, our business is growing, we have good owners and a bank that are behind us in our growth (read: plenty of capital), so I'm not worried about us going out of business. There's always the possibility, of course, but I consider the risk extremely low.
I own a condo on which I owe approximately half of my annual compensation, but I have no desire to spend money on a bigger place. After all, it's just me and the cat.
I haven't had a serious long-term relationship in about 6 1/2 years. And yet, the thought of having to consider someone else in my decisions really makes me twitchy.
So where do I go from here? I have been running through scenarios in my head of what-if-I-didn't-get-on-the-plane tomorrow? It's not that I want to get fired, truly. I just feel like it might be the only motivation I would have to go out and do something different. But I don't even know that I would want to do.
It sounds stupid, but I am really starting to feel trapped in my own life.
End random purge session. Odds of me not getting on the plane? 1 in a million.
Nothing happens. I had a friend I hadn't spoken to in 5 years call me. Both of her kids are getting married, she's going to be a grandma, she and her husband bought a new house, they've each gotten additional degrees, and have new jobs.
I, uh.. yea. Nothing.
There's something nice to be said about stability. I just got another promotion and raise, and am firmly in line to take over the Corporate Controller's job in 3-4 years when our CFO retires. I'm making good money, our business is growing, we have good owners and a bank that are behind us in our growth (read: plenty of capital), so I'm not worried about us going out of business. There's always the possibility, of course, but I consider the risk extremely low.
I own a condo on which I owe approximately half of my annual compensation, but I have no desire to spend money on a bigger place. After all, it's just me and the cat.
I haven't had a serious long-term relationship in about 6 1/2 years. And yet, the thought of having to consider someone else in my decisions really makes me twitchy.
So where do I go from here? I have been running through scenarios in my head of what-if-I-didn't-get-on-the-plane tomorrow? It's not that I want to get fired, truly. I just feel like it might be the only motivation I would have to go out and do something different. But I don't even know that I would want to do.
It sounds stupid, but I am really starting to feel trapped in my own life.
End random purge session. Odds of me not getting on the plane? 1 in a million.