How do you get rid of a guy who won't go away?

[Liagala]

Ok. I'm trying to break up with my boyfriend after 3 1/2 years, and failing miserably. I need some help here. I'm trying to leave because 1) he's antisocial, and I'm a people person. That gets really obnoxious. 2) he's jealous (though a LOT better than he used to be), and I've always believed that in a relationship you either trust each other or GTFO. 3) I'm just not in love with him anymore. Faults 1 and 2 aside, he really is a great guy... but it's just not there anymore. I see him as a friend and a roommate, not my boyfriend.

My problem is that he won't go away. I've tried to break up with him, and it just didn't work. I said "I don't want to be with you anymore," and he heard "I'd like to fix the problems in our relationship." He also has this amazing talent of talking me into things. I start out 100% convinced of what I want, and end our conversations wondering if the problem is real, or just my perception. So I keep bouncing back and forth. I tell him I want to break up, he talks me out of it and I feel that maybe we can work things out. Three hours later, I'm wondering WTF is wrong with my head, and why is he still here.

It doesn't help that I really do enjoy his company, most of the time. He's smart with a great sense of humor, blah blah, all the usual virtues. When we're not arguing I have a good time... which makes him think he's won and I want to stay with him. When I bring the situation up again later, he feels like I pulled the rug out from under him and I feel like an asshole. I've tried explaining my reasons for not wanting to be with him. He either outright refutes them, or turns it into a "we can fix this" thing. I've told him I don't want to fix it. I don't think that registered. I've even told him that the only reason he's still in my house is because he won't go away. He sees that as a good thing, because he's working on our relationship. I've tried everything I can think of.

I really don't want to hurt him, but I really don't want to be with him either, and he just refuses to accept reality. How do I make him go away, without being an asshole?

[AnticorRifling]

Time it so he catches you riding one of his friends.

[Jorddyn]

You meet somewhere that isn't either of your houses (um, hope you don't live together).

You say: "I'm know this hurts you, but I've decided to end our relationship." Stop. No explanations, no "you're such a great guy", no "my feelings have changed", nothing he can argue with.

He will argue. You repeat.

"I'm sorry, but I've decided to end our relationship."

Then you will leave and not answer your phone when he calls.

It sounds evil, but it's much less evil than stringing him along for a year, whether you intend to or not. And I'm sorry, but you have to be the asshole in this situation. Not being one will strangely enough make you an ever bigger one.

[Liagala]

Time it so he catches you riding one of his friends.

Seven minutes... not bad. I wondered how long it would be until the first "sleep with someone else" answer popped up. I also wondered whether it would come from you, Sean2, or Rob. You win the prize. :D

[AnticorRifling]

Just say "Hey remember those things of mine I used to let you touch? Not any more." Then walk away.

[AnticorRifling]

Seven minutes... not bad. If I had a dollar for everytime I heard that...wait, what?! No disregard.

[diethx]

She said he's like a roommate, so i'm guessing they live together. Wait until he's at work at have the locks changed. Leave his stuff with a friend or family member you trust not to sell his shit off.

[AnticorRifling]

She said he's like a roommate, so i'm guessing they live together. Wait until he's at work at have the locks changed. Leave his stuff with a friend or family member you trust not to sell his shit off. God no. You want someone to rage have them come home and not be able to get inside. That's some broken door/window shit.

[Sean]

Originally Posted by Seinfeld

Elaine: So what's been going on around this dump? How's your fiancee?

Jerry: My what?

Elaine: Jeannie... your fiancee.

Jerry: Oh, yeah, that. Well...

Elaine: All right. Spill it, Jerome.

Jerry: There's really not that much to tell.

[flashback sequence of Jerry and Jeannie at the coffee shop begins as Jerry narrates.]

"About a month ago, we were here having lunch, when all of a sudden we both just blurted out..."

Jerry & Jeannie: (simultaneously) I hate you!

[They both chuckle over the coincidence.]

Jeannie: See ya.

Jerry: See ya.

[Jeannie returns her ring to Jerry, who puts it in his pocket.]

"It was unprecendented. I mean, it was the first truly mutual breakup in relationship history."

[flashback ends.]

Jerry: (continuing) No rejection, no guilt, no remorse.

Try that and see if it works.

[The Ponzzz]

Just bulk up and sit down with him. Tell him that it's over, seriously. I assume he lives with you, who's place is it? If yours, tell him he has to leave. If his, then just pack your shit and go (easier). There is no easy way to do, but you'll hear a ton of funny ways in this thread, I'm sure.

[diethx]

God no. You want someone to rage have them come home and not be able to get inside. That's some broken door/window shit.

911. That's what it's there for.

[AnticorRifling]

Just bulk up and sit down with him. Did you just tell her to get fat? Because that's what I read.

[AnticorRifling]

911. That's what it's there for. It doesn't go well when they get there and the dude explains that he came home to changed locks with no warning and all his shit is missing (and it is because he doesn't know where it is).

[Liagala]

You meet somewhere that isn't either of your houses (um, hope you don't live together).

We do.


You say: "I'm know this hurts you, but I've decided to end our relationship." Stop. No explanations, no "you're such a great guy", no "my feelings have changed", nothing he can argue with.

He will argue. You repeat.

"I'm sorry, but I've decided to end our relationship."

Then you will leave and not answer your phone when he calls.

It sounds evil, but it's much less evil than stringing him along for a year, whether you intend to or not. And I'm sorry, but you have to be the asshole in this situation. Not being one will strangely enough make you an ever bigger one.

I try to do this. I start off really well - sticking to it, not arguing with him, not giving in... and sooner or later, he says something that really pushes my buttons, and I have to respond. As soon as he gets me arguing, he then turns it around, calms me down, and convinces me that he's right. I have no idea how he does this, but he does it every time. It's really annoying, but I can't seem to stop it either. I am not going to do the retarded "let him come home and find his stuff on the front lawn" thing... but not speaking to him seems to be the only way I can avoid his changing my mind again.

[diethx]

And she explains that she broke up with him and he wont' leave her alone and keeps coming around. So she changed the locks and gave his stuff to a trusted family member. I'm sure things would work out in her benefit, unless they own the house together or something. I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN ON COPS OKAYY!~

[The Ponzzz]

Did you just tell her to get fat? Because that's what I read.

Hahahaha. Yes. BK it up. The King has some good shit on that menu

[Khariz]

Does he just happen to live with you because you are generous, or is he paying bills/rent to live there as well? You used the word Roommate, so I was curious.

Besides the fact that you don't want to lock him out with his shit in the front yard, it could be illegal. Just sayin'.

[diethx]

Mmm cheesy tots.

[AnticorRifling]

And she explains that she broke up with him and he wont' leave her alone and keeps coming around. So she changed the locks and gave his stuff to a trusted family member. I'm sure things would work out in her benefit, unless they own the house together or something. I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN ON COPS OKAYY!~
She still took his shit without permission. Cops would be last answer as would lock changing.

Depending on the whole situation (who's on the lease, who owns the place, yada yada) bouncing yourself might be the best/path of least resistance.

[Liagala]

It's my apartment, the lease is in my name alone. He just lives there. Starting a situation that will end up with police involvement is REALLY not my idea of a good time.

[diethx]

Well hasn't she already tried it and failed numerous times? I would say she's down to her last answer if she can't stick to her guns and do it the right way, heh.

[The Ponzzz]

It's my apartment, the lease is in my name alone. He just lives there. Starting a situation that will end up with police involvement is REALLY not my idea of a good time.

Does he pay for anything? If not, then you will need to be a little aggressive. He clearly isn't getting the picture There is no nice/easy way to do this.

[CrystalTears]

Thankfully this hasn't happened to me so I'm not sure how to handle it. I also know that my aunt didn't know how to handle it, and they didn't live together.

When her and I were kids living at home in her mom's (my grandmother's) house, she dated this guy for years. He would come over and hang out every single day (he had his own key). He was a nice guy, rather social, me and him got along and he would sit around in my room and watch TV with me once in a while. Well when she told him that it was over, he was in denial. He kept coming over to the house. I would find him watching TV in my room. I didn't mind, but at the same time, I'm wondering WTF he was doing there.

I think I was the one who told him it over and it sinked in. It was kinda creepy, me telling him, hey I thought my aunt broke up with you, why are you here. He was so hurt, but I was like, you're creepifying me.

Maybe get a third party to tell him or something? A mutual friend maybe? Perhaps if he hears that his relationship is over from someone other than you, he'll wake up. Hopefully.

[AnticorRifling]

It's my apartment, the lease is in my name alone. He just lives there. Starting a situation that will end up with police involvement is REALLY not my idea of a good time.
Yeah it never is.

Simple solution and one I hate to suggest... You need some support to ditch this guy. Time for a loved one or friend to be there with you to make sure you stick with your plan.

[Khariz]

It's my apartment, the lease is in my name alone. He just lives there. Starting a situation that will end up with police involvement is REALLY not my idea of a good time.

In that case, I would insist that the advice given above, is the best advice there is to give.

You need to tell him the relationship is over and that he is no longer welcome to live with you. Give him a timeframe to voluntarily remove his things from your residence. Explain to him that if he doesn't do it by that time, you'll box it up and put it in storage for him that he will have access to.

Tell him you are not willing to discuss terms or be convinced otherwise, that the relationship is over, period.

[AnticorRifling]

I think I was the one who told him it over and it sinked in. . Quoting this for future blackmail.

[Liagala]

Does he just happen to live with you because you are generous, or is he paying bills/rent to live there as well? You used the word Roommate, so I was curious.

He pays 1/4 of the rent during the summer, when he can work full time. He pays for his half of food and stuff year round. I support us for the most part, because I make more than twice what he does, and he goes to school full time. The plan was for him to graduate, get a job, and then we switch. I'm screwing myself over here by leaving, but whatever.


Mutual friend/moral support suggestions

This a good idea, but he would feel really betrayed bythis. He's seriously antisocial. He doesn't have any friends, and if I brought one of mine into our personal business, it would be like a slap in the face. Kicking him out is bad enough, this is just adding insult to injury. I'll keep it in mind as a really, really last resort, but would prefer to avoid it.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Jorddyn gave the best advice, IMO.

This may sound cold, too. But after you tell him you're breaking up with him, start seeing other people. Change your cellphone number and don't give it to him, stay out late, etc. He'll get the hint that you're not crying out for attention for him, but that you're trying to move on.

Biggest issue I see is you need to find your backbone in this situation and stick to your guns. Give him a date to move out by and stick to it.

[NocturnalRob]

Have him read this thread

[AnticorRifling]

I could lend you some assault rifles for moral support.

[Khariz]

Have him read this thread

That advice really isn't too insane.

[Sean]

Jorddyn gave the best advice, IMO.
Impossible


This may sound cold, too. But after you tell him you're breaking up with him, start seeing other people. Change your cellphone number and don't give it to him, stay out late, etc. He'll get the hint that you're not crying out for attention for him, but that you're trying to move on.

Unless it pushes him over the edge and he snaps. Then we get to find out when a Liagala skin coat is worth.


Biggest issue I see is you need to find your backbone in this situation and stick to your guns. Give him a date to move out by and stick to it.

Agreed.

[diethx]

Unless it pushes him over the edge and he snaps. Then we get to find out when a Liagala skin coat is worth.


I know that's not really funny if you think about it seriously. But I lol'd hard.

[Jorddyn]

I try to do this. I start off really well - sticking to it, not arguing with him, not giving in... and sooner or later, he says something that really pushes my buttons, and I have to respond.

So, how's that been working for you?
/dr. phil

You're choosing to respond. Stop it. Don't have the argument. Since you do live together, give him a reasonable move-out deadline, tell him its over, and go stay with a friend for at least one night. If he has not moved out by the deadline, change the locks on your apartment, pay for a one month storage rental, toss his stuff in there and give him that key.

Sorry, but the only way you get out of this is a long and miserable life with someone you don't love followed by death, or being the ass. Which one is the better idea?

[thefarmer]

Say you got teh aids from sleeping with a brother on the down low. Then ask if he wants to stay around for the orgy with the (insert local gang name).

[Stanley Burrell]

Ok. I'm trying to break up with my boyfriend after 3 1/2 years, and failing miserably. I need some help here. I'm trying to leave because 1) he's antisocial, and I'm a people person. That gets really obnoxious. 2) he's jealous (though a LOT better than he used to be), and I've always believed that in a relationship you either trust each other or GTFO. 3) I'm just not in love with him anymore. Faults 1 and 2 aside, he really is a great guy... but it's just not there anymore. I see him as a friend and a roommate, not my boyfriend.

My problem is that he won't go away. I've tried to break up with him, and it just didn't work. I said "I don't want to be with you anymore," and he heard "I'd like to fix the problems in our relationship." He also has this amazing talent of talking me into things. I start out 100% convinced of what I want, and end our conversations wondering if the problem is real, or just my perception. So I keep bouncing back and forth. I tell him I want to break up, he talks me out of it and I feel that maybe we can work things out. Three hours later, I'm wondering WTF is wrong with my head, and why is he still here.

It doesn't help that I really do enjoy his company, most of the time. He's smart with a great sense of humor, blah blah, all the usual virtues. When we're not arguing I have a good time... which makes him think he's won and I want to stay with him. When I bring the situation up again later, he feels like I pulled the rug out from under him and I feel like an asshole. I've tried explaining my reasons for not wanting to be with him. He either outright refutes them, or turns it into a "we can fix this" thing. I've told him I don't want to fix it. I don't think that registered. I've even told him that the only reason he's still in my house is because he won't go away. He sees that as a good thing, because he's working on our relationship. I've tried everything I can think of.

I really don't want to hurt him, but I really don't want to be with him either, and he just refuses to accept reality. How do I make him go away, without being an asshole?

Avoidant personality disorder is pretty different than ASPD.

I'd say some time apart, like:

Yo, take a trip down to Mexico. Come back with that shit that might make you psycho. That stupid video Rob posted made me quote Busta Rhymes and I apologize for that, Liagala.



And while I'm probably not being all that serious, if you want to make any contributions to the boob thread that are particularly incriminating, I am willing to be cameraman, fluffer and pizza delivery service. Call me.

[CrystalTears]

Relationships always end badly, if not they wouldn't end.

I know you don't want to make it ugly, but sometimes ugly is what makes it over for good.

[Stanley Burrell]

I remember something about strippers-for-hire with "I'm-breaking-up-with-you-signs" in one of the many SotR threads as well.

You could always just stop doing the laundry.

[Liagala]

Alright guys, I'm going home. You pretty much told me what I knew already, but didn't want to admit to myself. I'm going to have to be an asshole, sooner or later. I feel so bad about it, especially the last few days because he's been working so hard to make me happy, but there's really no other way out of this. I probably won't do it tonight though, so if anyone magically comes up with a great way to do this without hurting him, feel free to contribute.

And Stan, don't worry. You'll be the first one I call if I need a combination cameraman/fluffer/pizza delivery guy.

[Stanley Burrell]

And Stan, don't worry. You'll be the first one I call if I need a combination cameraman/fluffer/pizza delivery guy.

Sweet. I'm on some antidepressants so it interferes with my libido, but that's just really making it last all night long. You'll love it. With the aid of MDMA.

:heart:

[AnticorRifling]

See if you can score some free shit first, guys love it when presents are handed out and then they are dumped.

[Mathari]

I probably won't do it tonight though, so if anyone magically comes up with a great way to do this without hurting him, feel free to contribute.
Someone already quoted Seinfeld, but try the first half of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLJtAEnkx58&NR=1

If not that, well, welcome to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKQHJaGmkSw

[Paradii]

Cut your losses and move out. I hear Hawaii is nice this time of year.

[diethx]

Sweet. I'm on some antidepressants so it interferes with my libido, but that's just really making it last all night long. You'll love it. With the aid of MDMA.

:heart:

There are some things even molly can't make enjoyable, much less pills.

:heart: though.

[TheEschaton]

I echo the above, but if he doesn't listen, get a temporary restraining order put on him. Not for abuse, but to cease and desist. The law can actually enforce your breakup, essentially.

That's a shitty answer, I know, but breaking up with girls is much easier than what you've got, it seems.

-TheE-

[Stretch]

3.5 years? Jesus Christ.

- Antisocial
- Smooth talker
- Able to stand his ground

You = doomed.

[Celephais]

I read the title of this thread and thought it was a thread about Backlash...

[Kyra231]

It doesn't go well when they get there and the dude explains that he came home to changed locks with no warning and all his shit is missing (and it is because he doesn't know where it is).

In Michigan you have to evict the person if they've been living in your residence more than 2 weeks & the cops will force you to let them back in every time until you serve them & evict them.

Something to check into for your area if you were thinking of tossing his shit & changing the locks.

[diethx]

I read the title of this thread and thought it was a thread about Backlash...

Me too, lol. Especially since I know Liagala appreciates all the ripping he gets.

[Skeeter]

this is my favorite co-dependent thread this month. I give it 3 stars.

[nub]

I've never had experiences of breaking up with guys, but it is possibly the same.

Anyway...

The last girl I broke it off with tried argueing with me as will, she tried a lot of guilt trips etc. I guess it was easier for me to stand my ground since I did not live with her.

Just to let you know there is no possible way for you not to hurt him when breaking it off, so all of these ideas being flung around will have to be used.

Then again, I guess there are some ways to not hurt his feelings by lying, but that is never a good idea.

So I guess sit him down and say almost everything your first post said "blah blah blah, I've been trying to break up with you for some time now, I just don't have the same feelings I did for you as I did before, you always have a way of convincing me to feel sorry for you, and I give in out of fear of HURTING you, however this is not what I want and it is not fair to me to stay in something that I don't feel can last... please don't take advantage of my niceness as it is causing me to be somewhere I don't want to, unfortunately you're going to have to work full time now and find some other way to go to school because I can't live with you anymore, sorry"

something like that

[Gan]

Walk up to him and say:

"I break with thee"

"I break with thee"

"I break with thee"

And then you throw dog poop on his shoes.

[MotleyCrew]

I had to break up a 10 year relationship, not a fun thing to do. A lot of time invested, a lot of feelings hurt. In the end, I left. The best thing may be, look into you leaving, unless you just can't get out of the place or give it up. He sounds like the type who will just come back and end up harassing you. Check with your landlord and see what it would take to break the lease.

Pain in the ass, yes, but seems like you're putting up with worse right now.

[Sean of the Thread]

This thread really delivers.


(and I so kept my thoughts to myself).

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Me too, lol. Especially since I know Liagala appreciates all the ripping he gets.

LMAO

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

I echo the above, but if he doesn't listen, get a temporary restraining order put on him. Not for abuse, but to cease and desist. The law can actually enforce your breakup, essentially.

That's a shitty answer, I know, but breaking up with girls is much easier than what you've got, it seems.

-TheE-

Jesus Christ, we need lawyers to break up now? I could see recommending that if this was say, domestic abuse, but she hasn't even said get out yet and already we are at the restraining order point? Sean doesn't even have one that I'm aware of.

Real advice would be "Let's both be adults and not involve the already over burdened court system and incredibly useless/overpriced lawyers and just figure this out."

[Sean of the Thread]

What he said.

[Khariz]

Jesus Christ, we need lawyers to break up now? I could see recommending that if this was say, domestic abuse, but she hasn't even said get out yet and already we are at the restraining order point? Sean doesn't even have one that I'm aware of.

Real advice would be "Let's both be adults and not involve the already over burdened court system and incredibly useless/overpriced lawyers and just figure this out."

If she tells him it's over and gives him a timeframe to move out, and he refuses to do it, a TRO is the next logical place to go if she wants to be civil.

[DCSL]

I'll get behind the "bring a friend to keep you on course" advice. It'll be more embarrassing for him, being dumped in front of someone else, but if that's what it takes, that's what it takes.

[Kitsun]

I can't believe no one went with:

1) Tell him that he turned you lesbian and make out with one of your girlfriends to prove it.
2) Something involving knives, guns, handaxes or explosive munitions
3) Tell him you slept with his dad/brother/friend all at the same time
4) You're becoming a scientologist and he needs to donate 7/8ths of his paycheck to them or not be accepted into their ranks

[thefarmer]

Bring home a RealDoll and tell him you've upgraded to a better version.

[kallindra]

Bring home a RealDoll and tell him you've upgraded to a better version.

:rofl:

[Sean of the Thread]

Do what my old lady did. Just fucking up and leave. Done deal.

[diethx]

Do what my old lady did. Just fucking up and leave. Done deal.

LOL @ you making it sound like it was a totally cut and dry affair.

[Celephais]

Do what my old lady did. Just fucking up and leave. Done deal.
That's an awful thing to do to the people who read that guys forums.

[diethx]

That's an awful thing to do to the people who read that guys forums.

loling so hard.

[Liagala]

I love you guys. Seriously. Random responses because I don't feel like going back and quoting 757980254 different posts:

Diethx - It's not so much Backlash getting ripped on that I like, as your insults. I really admire your creativity. He just seems to annoy you more than anyone else, so your best work comes out then. I'm just as happy when you're telling someone else off though.

People who tell me I should just say it straight out - Believe me, I have. I've told him exactly how things are, and he just continues to hide in his little denial corner.

Liagala skin coat - :rofl:

People who tell me I should up and leave/get out of the lease - Hell, no. This is my house, I'm not leaving it over a guy who refuses to accept reality. If it were his or even ours together, fine. It's not though.

Kitsun - 1) Would you leave if your woman started kissing girls in front of you? 2) I don't want weapons anywhere near this, thx. 3) He doesn't have any. 4) He works weekends only at Dunkin Donuts. 7/8 is probably about $30.

Realdoll - :rofl: again

I spent most of last night ignoring him, the rest being civil but distant. I really hate that I can't be friendly or have a good time without making him think I want to stay with him. I only work 1/2 day on Friday and he's home all day, I think I'll try this again then. I really don't need to give him a time frame - once it finally gets through to him that I want him gone, he'll pack up and go to his Mom's that day, and look for an apartment from there (or stay and let her support him while he goes to school).

The problem at that point will be ducking his "but can't we still be friends??" phone calls. And coming home from work to find him sitting on my front porch, waiting for me. He did both, when I managed to kick him out a year or so ago. He kept at it until he somehow managed to convince me to take him back. I actually spent a year and change thinking that it really wouldn't be so bad, staying with him... plenty of people have marriages like Sean's, I'd at least have a comfortable partner that I considered a good friend. Then I realized that my thoughts of "I'm really starting to like (insert name here)," or "I so want to take (other name) home," weren't going away, they were just getting worse. Sooner or later, I'd end up cheating on him. So... here we are.

[Liagala]

I love you guys. Seriously. Random responses because I don't feel like going back and quoting 757980254 different posts:

Diethx - It's not so much Backlash getting ripped on that I like, as your insults. I really admire your creativity. He just seems to annoy you more than anyone else, so your best work comes out then. I'm just as happy when you're telling someone else off though.

People who tell me I should just say it straight out - Believe me, I have. I've told him exactly how things are, and he just continues to hide in his little denial corner.

Liagala skin coat, Realdoll - :rofl:

People who tell me I should up and leave/get out of the lease - Hell, no. This is my house, I'm not leaving it over a guy who refuses to accept reality. If it were his or even ours together, fine. It's not though.

Kitsun - 1) Would you leave if your woman started kissing girls in front of you? 2) I don't want weapons anywhere near this, thx. 3) He doesn't have any. 4) He works weekends only at Dunkin Donuts. 7/8 is probably about $30.

I spent most of last night ignoring him, the rest being civil but distant. I really hate that I can't be friendly or have a good time without making him think I want to stay with him. I only work 1/2 day on Friday and he's home all day, I think I'll try this again then. I really don't need to give him a time frame - once it finally gets through to him that I want him gone, he'll pack up and go to his Mom's that day, and look for an apartment from there (or stay and let her support him while he goes to school).

The problem at that point will be ducking his "but can't we still be friends??" phone calls. And coming home from work to find him sitting on my front porch, waiting for me. He did both, when I managed to kick him out a year or so ago. He kept at it until he somehow managed to convince me to take him back. I actually spent a year and change thinking that it really wouldn't be so bad, staying with him... plenty of people have marriages like Sean's, I'd at least have a comfortable partner that I considered a good friend. Then I realized that my thoughts of "I'm really starting to like (insert name here)," or "I so want to take (other name) home," weren't going away, they were just getting worse. Sooner or later, I'd end up cheating on him. So... here we are.

Edit: http://www.forum.gsplayers.com/images/reputation/reputation_pos.gif How do you get rid of a... 01-07-2009 05:51 PM Let him catch you masturbating to pictures of people on the PC.. or Goatse... Kuyuk

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b24/Nightmare30/Funny%20stuff/facepalm.jpg

[diethx]

Oh, OKAYY. I aim to please. :D

[Keller]

if she wants to be civil.

Pun intended, I assume.

[Clove]

I've told you a million times not to exaggerate, Lia.

[Keller]

That's an awful thing to do to the people who read that guys forums.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Keller]

And coming home from work to find him sitting on my front porch, waiting for me. He did both, when I managed to kick him out a year or so ago. He kept at it until he somehow managed to convince me to take him back.

I'll one up you: my freshman year of college I tried to break up with my girlfriend (currently my wife). Everyday I would come back to my dorm room between classes and she would already be in my room (I went to a small christian college where no one locked their doors). I would ask her to leave, but instead she would . . . uhh, service me.

Needless to say after a couple weeks of this happening everyday I decided that she was a keeper.

[crazymage]

Come live with me for a bit I wont charge you rent persay...

[diethx]

I totally read persay as pussy for a split second.

[Some Rogue]

Come live with me for a bit I wont charge you rent persay...

Yeah, he'd be more likely to pay you...that's what he usually does at least.

[DeV]

If all else fails, tell him you're a lesbian and you aren't attracted to him anymore. It's a lie, but hell, you've got nothing to lose except your lesbian virginity and that isn't going anywhere!

For serious, it's going to get somewhat ugly anyway you cut so you may as well resign yourself to pounding the point home with him and taking a page out of his book; stand your ground no matter what.

[Clove]

I'll one up you: my freshman year of college I tried to break up with my girlfriend (currently my wife). Everyday I would come back to my dorm room between classes and she would already be in my room (I went to a small christian college where no one locked their doors). I would ask her to leave, but instead she would . . . uhh, service me.

Needless to say after a couple weeks of this happening everyday I decided that she was a keeper.So she should make him service her?

[Liagala]

So she should make him service her?

That's the best idea I've seen yet. :D

[Clove]

That's the best idea I've seen yet. :DI do what I can. Clearly Keller and I have different ideas. I dated a girl who did that, but it seemed more like a "stalker" than a "keeper" to me.

[AnticorRifling]

So she should make him service her?
If she has to make him do that it's long past time to move on.

[TheEschaton]

A) You don't need a lawyer for a TRO, you just go to your local court and fucking apply for one.

B) It takes like 5 minutes and doesn't overburden any court, since you can get one for almost any reason at any time.

C) Getting a TRO is the adult thing to do if he's refusing to leave, instead of throwing his shit on the front lawn.

D) Your disdain for lawyers doesn't negate the fact that there are good ones out there who do good work.

-TheE-

[B2]

So what happened last night?

I swear, if you pull a Sean2 and ignore all the good advice that people give you and stay will him for another year, I will...I dunno, resent you and not say anything.

You've been unhappy in this relationship for over a year now, you said? Come on. He hasn't changed. He's not going to change. He's enjoying rent-free living, and even though you say he splits bills and food, I'm doubtful. He is going to do whatever it takes to maintain that.

You shouldn't settle. You shouldn't be content to be discontent.

You cannot delay this any longer.

The fact that you even MADE this thread shows you that you need to do it now. You need to do whatever it takes for him to leave.

It is going to hurt you.

It is going to hurt him.

It is going to hurt for a while. But you cannot wait. What are you waiting for?

[Keller]

D) Your disdain for lawyers doesn't negate the fact that there are good ones out there who do good work.

-TheE-

It's sort of funny that people who hate lawyers likely haven't dealt with any professionally except the shitty one their ex-wife hired who demanded everything including the kitchen sink.

That's not directed at SHM as I have no idea of his personal life (except that he posts pictures of himself at the zoo), but your average layperson deals with the riff-raff of the lawyer world.

[AnticorRifling]

Lionel Hutz is where it's at.

http://www.canpages.ca/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/lionel-hutz.gif

[Liagala]

I swear, if you pull a Sean2 and ignore all the good advice that people give you and stay will him for another year, I will...I dunno, resent you and not say anything.

You've been unhappy in this relationship for over a year now, you said? Come on. He hasn't changed. He's not going to change. He's enjoying rent-free living, and even though you say he splits bills and food, I'm doubtful. He is going to do whatever it takes to maintain that.

You shouldn't settle. You shouldn't be content to be discontent.

Nothing happened last night, and nothing will probably happen tonight. Friday is looking more promising - there's time for me to ignore his attempts at argument, pack up his stuff, and send him home to his mother.

I am NOT going to be like Sean2. My own friends are too good... they'll support me no matter what I do about this. You people on the other hand, will rag on me mercilessly if I wuss out now. The moral support helps.

I haven't really been unhappy for the last year... I just haven't been really happy either. It was comfortable, and I enjoyed his company. I also constantly had to remind myself that I'm seeing someone, and can not go talk to that guy at the bar, can not flirt too much with this guy that I like despite it being wrong, etc. Sprinkled throughout were arguments with him about how he never, ever wanted to go anywhere or do anything that involves people, and how the fact that I do makes him uncomfortable (read: worried I'll find a new guy).

[Neo]

Step 1 Ask him to marry you!

Step 2 Have a kid with him!

Step 3 Have another kid with him!

Step 4 Then wait for him to leave you or worse!

Step 5 Then collect some checks!

Step 6 Get fat (or fatter) and find a new man...

If he doesn't bail after step one, then its only a matter of time, and life! hahaha

[ViridianAsp]

Honestly, I'd pack up his stuff while he wasn't there. Then when he comes home, pretty much tell him it's over. From how it sounds, he's going to make up all sorts of excuses why he can't move out. You can hardly make excuses while all your shit is neatly packed in boxes.

[Stanley Burrell]

Wear a strap-on.

[Paradii]

Is this from personal experience Stan?

[DeV]

He just might like it.

[AnticorRifling]

Is this from personal experience Stan? From what I heard that's how Stan got rid of his last guy.

[CrystalTears]

I thought that was how he got his last guy.

[NocturnalRob]

whatever. i was drunk.

[Tisket]

B) It takes like 5 minutes and doesn't overburden any court, since you can get one for almost any reason at any time.

C) Getting a TRO is the adult thing to do if he's refusing to leave, instead of throwing his shit on the front lawn.

yeah, everyone knows that restraining orders work like a charm in domestic disputes

And since when can you get ANYTHING of an official nature done in five minutes?! Hell, you can't even get from the parking lot to the door of my local courthouse in five minutes time.

[AnticorRifling]

Not to mention TheE would be randomly selected for security search everytime he went to the courthouse and we know that takes time.

[SHAFT]

Kick him in the junk or get a restraining order.

[DeV]

yeah, everyone knows that restraining orders work like a charm in domestic disputes

And since when can you get ANYTHING of an official nature done in five minutes?! Hell, you can't even get from the parking lot to the door of my local courthouse in five minutes time.
The stack of paperwork alone is ridiculously thick and will take much longer than 5 or even 10 minutes to fill out. The process is a bit faster after you've filled out the paperwork, but tackling that "sumbitch" is a feat in itself.

[SHAFT]

The stack of paperwork alone is ridiculously thick and will take much longer than 5 or even 10 minutes to fill out. The process is a bit faster after you've filled out the paperwork, but tackling that "sumbitch" is a feat in itself.

Speaking from experience? ;)

[TheEschaton]

Not to mention TheE would be randomly selected for security search everytime he went to the courthouse and we know that takes time.

The first time I walked into the courtroom I was working in this past semester, I sat there in the gallery observing. Even though I was dressed in a suit, and almost every defendant ever wears like a t-shirt and jeans (or maybe a button down), I was asked if I was a defendant. Fun times.

But for damn sure, them white honky crackers are surprised when they walk up to the dock and a long haired brown motherfucker is laying down the law on them. Yeah, it makes my day.

And for TROs in most courts: you go in, get an advocate, they talk to you for maybe 15 minutes, and then appear with you in front of the judge (in large enough courtrooms, there's judges just for things like this), you put on the record why you want the TRO, and it's granted. I exagerrated with the 5 minutes, obviously, but actual in court time is like 2 minutes tops, most is just prep and waiting.

-TheE-

[DeV]

Speaking from experience? ;)Heck no! I had a fuck buddy back in college who's "girlfriend" roughed her up on more than one occasion so I went through the entire process with her. Police station, court house, next court date, etc. It's worth it if you intend to follow through.

[Sean]

Heck no! I had a fuck buddy back in college who's "girlfriend" roughed her up on more than one occasion so I went through the entire process with her. Police station, court house, next court date, etc. It's worth it if you intend to follow through.

I didn't know you an Bratt used to bang.

[Stanley Burrell]

Wear a strap-on.

He just might like it.

From what I heard that's how Stan got rid of his last guy.

I thought that was how he got his last guy.

whatever. i was drunk.

That was an amazing sequence of events. Good day sirs and madams.

[Liagala]

So here I am, in my house, all by myself. When I got home after dropping him & his stuff at his mother's, I really thought a good cry was in order... and then I decided to log in here and hope for some distraction. Yeah, I'm good now. I am going out and getting crazy drunk tonight though. Thanks for the advice/laughs/random stuff... it helped a lot. :heart:

[Stretch]

So here I am, in my house, all by myself. When I got home after dropping him & his stuff at his mother's, I really thought a good cry was in order... and then I decided to log in here and hope for some distraction. Yeah, I'm good now. I am going out and getting crazy drunk tonight though. Thanks for the advice/laughs/random stuff... it helped a lot. :heart:

I think he's the one that has the right to cry.

[GSKynthelig]

So here I am, in my house, all by myself. When I got home after dropping him & his stuff at his mother's, I really thought a good cry was in order... and then I decided to log in here and hope for some distraction. Yeah, I'm good now. I am going out and getting crazy drunk tonight though. Thanks for the advice/laughs/random stuff... it helped a lot. :heart:

Enjoy your night out and hope all works out well for you!

[Some Rogue]

And when you need some hot drunken chat later....

wait, what?

[Liagala]

And when you need some hot drunken chat later....

... I'll look up one of the guys who've sent me a picture. There's still time for you to join that list, you know. :D

Also, anyone care to recommend a good bar/club in the Boston area that isn't going to charge me $15 a drink? My best friend is great for nights like this, but she forgets that she makes a lot more money than I do.

[Jorddyn]

And when you need some hot drunken chat later....


How YOU doin?

[NocturnalRob]

I'm glad you got through this, Lia. Have a good time tonight. And your friend should be paying for all the drinks tonight anyway.

[DeV]

I didn't know you an Bratt used to bang.You didn't know I used to bang your mom either.

[DeV]

That was an amazing sequence of events. Good day sirs and madams.
I can't give it to you again or else I would.

[NocturnalRob]

I can't give it to you again or else I would.
what are...things i've never said?

[TheEschaton]

Wait, a girl in Boston on the rebound? All my friends'll be at Dillons on Boylston, but I won't be there.

Actually, they're kinda douchebags with women, I'm not sure I'd go there.

-TheE-

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I'm glad you got through this, Lia. Have a good time tonight. And your friend should be paying for all the drinks tonight anyway.

This.

:hug2:

[Stanley Burrell]

I can't give it to you again or else I would.

I can't decide whether I should be making the O-face in pleasure or in agony :whipit:

:heart:

[Some Rogue]

... I'll look up one of the guys who've sent me a picture. There's still time for you to join that list, you know. :D


:(


How YOU doin?

:devilsmile:

[Sean]

... I'll look up one of the guys who've sent me a picture. There's still time for you to join that list, you know. :D

Also, anyone care to recommend a good bar/club in the Boston area that isn't going to charge me $15 a drink? My best friend is great for nights like this, but she forgets that she makes a lot more money than I do.

I thought the goal for you women was to go out and not pay for any drinks?


You didn't know I used to bang your mom either.

I knew you dug white ladies but I didn't know you liked them ancient. Whatever floats your boat!

[Liagala]

I'm glad you got through this, Lia. Have a good time tonight. And your friend should be paying for all the drinks tonight anyway.

Thanks Rob and Nikki. I keep bouncing back and forth, with this. On one hand, I really miss having him here, and it hasn't even been a day yet. On the other, it felt so incredibly good last night to actually be able to say yes when guys asked me to dance at the club, instead of declining because my jealous boyfriend would flip. I had a really great time.


I thought the goal for you women was to go out and not pay for any drinks?

Those women annoy me. While I definitely appreciate someone buying me a drink, actually going out with the intention of finding someone to do so? Bleh.

Anyway... time to go see if I can get the "complete set" in the other thread. :D

[Nilandia]

Awesome to hear you're doing well, Lia. It won't be easy, of course. You'll probably have times where you'll second-guess yourself or you'll be afraid you've shot your friendship if you wanted to salvage one.

When I broke up with guys, I flat out ignored them. I wouldn't speak to them, I wouldn't take their calls, or do anything that might end up with me running into them. It hurt like heck and I felt utterly alone at times, but it would have been far worse if I hadn't, only to give in to weakness and taken them back.

If you ever need someone to vent to or just chat with, feel free to give me a yell.

Gretchen

[TheEschaton]

Ha, if you ever swing near Fenway, I'll buy you a drink, Lia, in a non-creepy way. I unfortunately know most of the bartenders at the Cask n' Flagon.

[Paradii]

While you are at it. Buy me a drink too. I'll even allow it to be in a creepy way.

[TheEschaton]

Are you in Boston?

[DeV]

I thought the goal for you women was to go out and not pay for any drinks?



I knew you dug white ladies but I didn't know you liked them ancient. Whatever floats your boat!
You... are... a meanie pie, but your mom's sexiness makes up for it!

I dig all* ladies.

*restrictions apply