Tapeworm wanted

[Euler]

Where can I get a tapeworm?

The Problem:
Going to inlaws for Christmas. The don't believe in vegitables. They do believe in deep frying. I am not going to exercise. I expect to gain a lot of weight.

My solution:
see title of thread.

Question:
So where can I pick up a tapeworm?

[Kuyuk]

eat a lot of uncooked pork...

after a while, you should find one..

[Euler]

not a biologist, but I thought pork had triginosis or parasite, not tape worms?

[Gan]

Chances are you'll get trickinosis before you'll find a tapeworm by eating raw pork.

Find your nearest pet with fleas. Tapeworm eggs are usually eaten by flea larve, and eventually the flea (larve) are ingested by your pet. So groom go lick your dog a lot. Chances are you'll ingest some fleas, and voila!

[Revalos]

Pork can have it, as can raw fish and beef. Or dog or cat if your inlaws are into that.

I suggest the South Bronx Paradise Diet.

[Miscast]

Not a tapeworm, but I thought appropriate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iZdBAXi5_0

[Jahira]

Solution: learn to eat in moderation

[Euler]

in no way is that appropriate. While disgusting, it does not solve my weigh gain issue. My inlaws are, in fact, filipino ... but I don't know their stance on licking cats and dogs. I am almost certain that the way the inlaws cook said animals will kill the tape worms. Why can't you just buy these things on E-bay or some natural health store?

[Miscast]

dude one day of pigging out isn't going to completely alter your physiology... just don't eat dinner for the following week. you lose so much weight when you simply skip dinner.

[Drew]

I suggest the South Bronx Paradise Diet.

That's a good diet, you just eat candy bars.

[Euler]

I know you all are 6'4 blond blue-eyed surfer/super model/ex-military/part-time hitmen/martial art experts/whatever other magic internetz endeavor,

but I am a guy who plays a text-based online role playing game.(read:fat assed nerd) I spend my spare time pretending to frolic with elves. You really think I can eat in moderation? You really think I am going to skip dinner? Just find me a damn tape worm.

[SolitareConfinement]

I know you all are 6'4 blond blue-eyed surfer/super model/ex-military/part-time hitmen/martial art experts/whatever other magic internetz endeavor,

but I am a guy who plays a text-based online role playing game.(read:fat assed nerd) I spend my spare time pretending to frolic with elves. You really think I can eat in moderation? You really think I am going to skip dinner? Just find me a damn tape worm.

hey hey hey! some of us that "frolic" with elves, are brown haired, brown eyed, scrawny nerds tyvm

one thing you could do is just say fuck it and warm up that new notch in yer belt

[Daniel]

I know you all are 6'4 blond blue-eyed surfer/super model/ex-military/part-time hitmen/martial art experts/whatever other magic internetz endeavor,

but I am a guy who plays a text-based online role playing game.(read:fat assed nerd) I spend my spare time pretending to frolic with elves. You really think I can eat in moderation? You really think I am going to skip dinner? Just find me a damn tape worm.

My eyes are brown.

[SolitareConfinement]

and some how i doubt your hair is blond as well

[The Ponzzz]

You haven't seen his cheerleading pic then.

[Vesi]

Where can I get a tapeworm?

The Problem:
Going to inlaws for Christmas. The don't believe in vegitables. They do believe in deep frying. I am not going to exercise. I expect to gain a lot of weight.

My solution:
see title of thread.

Question:
So where can I pick up a tapeworm?

Is this a joke? Tell me this is a joke.

[SolitareConfinement]

no he's dead serious....its a new fad! tape worms n other parasites for everyone! next week the new fad is going to be ticks!

[Euler]

nothing funny about this. The litte fella will eat up all my extra calories. I eat all I want, he gets big an healthy thereby eating more calories so I get even skinnier... where exactly is the downside?

[Daniel]

and some how i doubt your hair is blond as well

It was as a kid when I was in the sun for too long. Trust me: I know how weird that sounds. It didn't look any better with my ginormous afro.

[Vesi]

no he's dead serious....its a new fad! tape worms n other parasites for everyone! next week the new fad is going to be ticks!

This makes me ill thinking about it. Are people so freaked out by a couple of extra pounds that they want to ingest a parasite that can grow up to 50 feet and live in your body for 20 years? Ugh. This says tons about society if this is really a fad. Tons of bad. (I guess there ARE people if this person is serious... but man) Normally, the eggs are found more often in the feces.

I just can't wrap my head around this. Trust me, I've been around people with eating disorders, but none have wanted to do this yet. (yes, the original poster has an eating disorder)

[Tisket]

He is soooo not serious.

[Tisket]

Funny shit. Five stars.

[Vesi]

He is soooo not serious.

Thank goodness. I was grossing out here.

[Tisket]

Even if he was serious, still funny shit.

[Jorddyn]

It was as a kid when I was in the sun for too long. Trust me: I know how weird that sounds. It didn't look any better with my ginormous afro.

I will give you a dollar to post a picture of this :)

[Vesi]

Even if he was serious, still funny shit.

Heh. I'm sure my posts added to it with me being all OMFG WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?

[Daniel]

I will give you a dollar to post a picture of this :)

The only ones I have are of me on a slip n slide. Needless to say those are never going on the internet.

[SolitareConfinement]

This makes me ill thinking about it. Are people so freaked out by a couple of extra pounds that they want to ingest a parasite that can grow up to 50 feet and live in your body for 20 years? Ugh. This says tons about society if this is really a fad. Tons of bad. (I guess there ARE people if this person is serious... but man) Normally, the eggs are found more often in the feces.

I just can't wrap my head around this. Trust me, I've been around people with eating disorders, but none have wanted to do this yet. (yes, the original poster has an eating disorder)

wow.......

um i was kidding?

[Vesi]

wow.......

um i was kidding?


I know that now. But hey, people do weird things in the pursuit of the perfect body. (I have been witness to some of them and won't go into that here... so sad) Look at my other posts... Tisket set me straight.

[SolitareConfinement]

I know that now. But hey, people do weird things in the pursuit of the perfect body. (I have been witness to some of them and won't go into that here... so sad) Look at my other posts... Tisket set me straight.

rofl I know but how do you not comment to your response anyways? mainly i was just taken back so much by what you said... that it was impossible for me to still not say anything

[Methais]

Where can I get a tapeworm?

The Problem:
Going to inlaws for Christmas. The don't believe in vegitables. They do believe in deep frying. I am not going to exercise. I expect to gain a lot of weight.

My solution:
see title of thread.

Question:
So where can I pick up a tapeworm?

http://www.ratemyeverything.net/image/7471/0/Epic_Failure.ashx

[Vesi]

rofl I know but how do you not comment to your response anyways? mainly i was just taken back so much by what you said... that it was impossible for me to still not say anything

Well, I at least told him the most common place to find tapeworms! Think I just grossed myself out again. :(

[Back]

Have you tried E-Bay?

Will you name it like a pet? After all, it’s going to be with you for the next twenty odd years.

[SolitareConfinement]

Well, I at least told him the most common place to find tapeworms! Think I just grossed myself out again. :(

so what you're saying to him is... eat shit!

[Gan]

I spend my spare time pretending to frolic with elves.

This is so fucking sig-worthy.

[Back]

http://forum.gsplayers.com/images/rating/rating_5.gif

I Googled “buy tapeworm” and found this gem of an article (http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/comments/2998/)...


The Tapeworm Diet

The Arizona Republic has raised an interesting question. Is it possible to use tapeworms as a diet aid? Won't the tape worm just sit in your stomach and consume all the extra food you eat, and after a while you can pull out the thing? The basic answer is no. This would not be a good idea. They go into some more details:

While a tapeworm might take in some of the food you do, it would at the same time be taking in a lot of vitamins and other nutrients you need to stay healthy. Do you know what ascites are? A big pool of fluid in your tummy caused by an immune response to something in your guts. Something like a tapeworm. It gives you a big potbelly, which runs kind of counter to the look you might be wishing for. And a tapeworm might not necessarily just set up camp in your innards. It can also cause cysts in your muscles, liver and eyes. Your eyes! So don't you think it might be easier instead to just eat a bit less and exercise a bit more?

Posted By: Alex




Some of the comments are funny if you hit the link.

[Euler]

damnit. Thanks for the research. Now I am looking for a vial of distilled dysentary. That would be ok right? No cysts in the eyes from that.

[SolitareConfinement]

amazing someone actually for real thought this was a good idea...

did they drop out of school in 5th grade?

[Back]

damnit. Thanks for the research. Now I am looking for a vial of distilled dysentary. That would be ok right? No cysts in the eyes from that.

Try the vodka/tic-tac diet. You’ll be a supermodel in no time.

[SHAFT]

I had worms when I was a kid, and let me say it isn't a pleasurable thing. You do not want worms.

How about eating half of a plate instead of a whole plate of food? Thats a start.

[Sean of the Thread]

nothing funny about this. The litte fella will eat up all my extra calories. I eat all I want, he gets big an healthy thereby eating more calories so I get even skinnier... where exactly is the downside?

One down side is he'll be squirming out of your asshole eventually. Stick his head and say HI and then wiggle back up.


Damn I almost made myself vomit with that visual.

[Euler]

One down side is he'll be squirming out of your asshole eventually. Stick his head and say HI and then wiggle back up.


Damn I almost made myself vomit with that visual.


and the downside is what.... that I don't speak tape worm so I won't understand when he says 'hi?'

[Kuyuk]

you'll have up to 20 years to practice?

[Sean of the Thread]

and the downside is what.... that I don't speak tape worm so I won't understand when he says 'hi?'


Ok you've got a point.

Here's an idea. Quit stuffing your fat face hole instead.

[Krendeli]

Ok you've got a point.

Here's an idea. Quit stuffing your fat face hole instead.

Or just stuff your fat ass hole instead.

[Sean of the Thread]

I can't quite tell if you trying pwn me with that comment or her. It's funnier if directed at her since I'm not fat anymore but the thought of fat assholes is appealing.

I've been looking at BBW pics all day.


*wait how bb is she? I may be interested.

[CrystalTears]

The holidays is SUCH a wrong time to think about eating less or whatever. Just enjoy the holidays, eat what you like, quitcherbitchin, and worry about losing weight next year.

I mean if you didn't care all year, why care during the time when you're supposed to eat more.

[Sean of the Thread]

Back when I had an appetite that's what I did. Fucking balls to the wall from Thanksgiving to New Years and then chilled out and got back to the gym.

Gyms really suck or rule. You basically pay them to not lose weight and try to not make eye contact with dudes in the locker room.

The rule part is when there is a girl working on her hams across from your bike.

*oh plus my BBW preference.. they tend to attract some and they always have came toes in their spandex. Damn that's jerk material right there.

[Jorddyn]

I've been looking at BBW pics all day.
*wait how bb is she? I may be interested.

You know, if that isn't enough motivation for me to continue my diet, I don't know what would be.

:help:

[Sean of the Thread]

BBW IS WIN.


Skinny chicks are like cheese graters.

[Celephais]

This thread is hilarious, how is Tisket the only sane person in this thread.

[Jorddyn]

This thread is hilarious, how is Tisket the only sane person in this thread.

I'm totally sane. Dammit.

[Sean of the Thread]

I may not be completely sane but I think most of what I posted was sane sounding?

The OP has to be joking.

[Celephais]

The OP has to be joking.
The fact you people are using statements like "has to be", or even asking is what's ridiculous. And yes Jord, you're sane (you didn't even address the OP)

[Sean of the Thread]

Hey I only fucked with the OP. Par for course however.


Pos rep for the Jenisi ex boyfriend.

[diethx]

I had worms when I was a kid, and let me say it isn't a pleasurable thing. You do not want worms.

How about eating half of a plate instead of a whole plate of food? Thats a start.

You had a tapeworm, or you had WORMS? Like the tiny ones that infest and bite your asshole because you didn't wash your hands well enough after pooping? lol

[CrystalTears]

TMI! Goddamnit.

[diethx]

:rofl: :rofl:

[diethx]

http://students.kennesaw.edu/~sjacobs9/pinworms.jpg

[Jorddyn]

http://students.kennesaw.edu/~sjacobs9/pinworms.jpg

Who in the hell inhales their fingers after stuffing them up their ass?

Wait. Don't answer that.

[diethx]

LOL. I dunno, little kids scratch their butts and may then eat with their hands or something, I guess. Obviously it happens somehow cuz it's not super rare in kids.

[Celephais]

Who in the hell inhales their fingers after stuffing them up their ass?

Wait. Don't answer that.
SHAFT apparently.

[diethx]

lol