IS Service Desk Resolutions

[grenthor]

This was sent out by our Service Desk manager today. I've no idea if these are real or fake or from our own SD or somewhere else. Don't care - they're funny.
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How hard can it be to work as a tech at the hospital? Just check out these "Resolved Tickets" from some techs out in the IT field...

ISSUE: Computer fan is getting old and almost needs replacement.
RESOLUTION: Almost replaced computer fan. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Test computer works fine except auto-reboot doesn't work.
RESOLUTION: Funny, auto-reboot was not installed on this PC. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Something loose on this Medcart.
RESOLUTION: Something tightened in this Medcart. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Dead bugs found in this computer.
RESOLUTION: Replaced with live bugs. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Computer won't turn off.
RESOLUTION: Unable to reproduce problem since computer is turned off. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: NumLock key doesn't work when light is off.
RESOLUTION: NumLock key is not supposed to work when it is off. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Monitor doesn't work.
RESOLUTION: This is a printer. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: CDROM won't play.
RESOLUTION: It's still the printer. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Desktop wallpaper is upside-down.
RESOLUTION: Deleted desktop wallpaper. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Evidence of coffee leaking out of keyboard.
RESOLUTION: Evidence removed. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: PC volume unbelievably quiet.
RESOLUTION: PC volume set to a more believable quiet. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Capslock key sticks.
RESOLUTION: That's what they are supposed to do. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Suspect there is a noise coming from the harddrive.
RESOLUTION: Suspect you're right. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Keyboard is missing.
RESOLUTION: Keyboard found connected to computer after brief search. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: ASCOM phone handles funny.
RESOLUTION: ASCOM phone was warned to straighten up and act serious. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Computer is starting to hum.
RESOLUTION: Computer does not know any of the lyrics. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Extra mice found in desk.
RESOLUTION: Cat installed. Closed ticket.

ISSUE: Noise coming from inside the computer. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
RESOLUTION: Took hammer away from midget. Closed ticket.

[Khariz]

Honestly, I laughed out loud at some of these.

[diethx]

Same.

[Keller]

ISSUE: Noise coming from inside the computer. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
RESOLUTION: Took hammer away from midget. Closed ticket.

ya.