Vent here...

[Sean]

Ever have one of those days where you just need to vent or release some tension or anger? I know I have, and i noticed in Edines thread that others have as well. So I'm posting here to open up a forum for people just to vent. Because i've also noticed a trend of people venting on others lately. Post here not necessarily to seek help or replies because as far as i know none of us are lisenced to give that information. But just as a place to get your thoughts out and clear your mind.

[Sean]

I suppose i'll start this thread off cause i know right now I feel like I can't fucking do anything right. No matter what I say or do someone always gets hurt in the end. It's a constant downward spiral. I find myself wanting to just hide from the world to spare it. It just feels like anyone im close to friend or otherwise will just end up falling victim to my touch. Right now I just want to say fuck it and disapear.

[Mint]

Originally posted by Tijay
I suppose i'll start this thread off cause i know right now I feel like I can't fucking do anything right. No matter what I say or do someone always gets hurt in the end. It's a constant downward spiral. I find myself wanting to just hide from the world to spare it. It just feels like anyone im close to friend or otherwise will just end up falling victim to my touch. Right now I just want to say fuck it and disapear.

Holy crap, posted in red...serious stuff. I have had days, even weeks like that but it always gets better. Sounds weak I know but when your in the midst of that kind of stuff it's hard to remember that 'this too shall pass'. It always does. Patience my friend.

[Sean]

oh heh yea i know it will pass i just needed to get it out of my system.

[Mint]

OHHHH, well, if this is just about venting let me get my cannon out. I think I am the ONLY person in the world who has not seen LOTR3 and I was supposed to go see it this weekend with a friend and she cancelled!! Damn her and her sick child.

[Mint]

Serious now: about six months ago one of the janitorial support guys at my workplace went home one night and killed himself. I remember seeing him in the drivers lounge emptying the wastebaskets and cleaning up. Some of the drivers joked around with him and he seemed nice enough. He did not seem sad that I can remember. It makes me wonder about the people around me and what kind of sorrow they might be hiding behind a pleasant expression. How can you ever know? I still wonder about how I might have helped him had I known he was so depressed.

[StrayRogue]

Tijay, this may be a really self-centred opinion, but it has kept me happy and sane for some good years. Put yourself first. I know it sounds shitty, but you lead your life, not someone else, and you only get the one shot at it, so do it how you feel, how you want to do it. If people get hurt...well its usually their problem. If people will accept you, and they will, all the more better. Don't give a fuck, be true to yourself and your way of life, and you'll be alot happier.

[Sean]

thanks for the advice and information :)

I just want to remind everyone that this thread isn't just about me. I just happened to vent first because i made the thread. It's really just meant as a place for everyone to vent so they don't find themselves taking it out on others in other threads or in life in general.

[Souzy]

Ummm, sorry Sean if I made you feel that way. :(

I haven't seen LOTR3 yet either and Stray's right.

[Caiylania]

God Tijay I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do it pisses someone off. Other times I feel like a waste of matter on days that I feel life goes no where.

I have just learned to find the one thing that tells me, this is why you are here. This is what you are doing.

For me it is my daughter, especially after my Mom died I would look at her and go...... You are part of her, you are what will keep me going.

I also have found my art again, and have started drawing which I havent done for awhile. I Lost my heart for it.

[Soulpieced]

My roommate makes it widely known he doesn't have class until 3:30 on Monday's. I tried to go to bed at 12:30 and he was blasting music until about 1:45 and also did his laundry. That said, I have a very high threshhold of hearing for low wavelengths (bass) and I didn't get to bed until 2. Damnit.

[Wezas]

My manager resigned today. She is very cool, a great boss. She told me a month or so that she would be leaving. I have no problems with her leaving. In the meeting today she mentioned that I would start reporting to a girl who's at the same level I am (lead) instead of reporting to the Director until a new manager is in. And I can't stand that girl. She takes being anal to a new level.

[DianaBanana]

Originally posted by Mint
OHHHH, well, if this is just about venting let me get my cannon out. I think I am the ONLY person in the world who has not seen LOTR3 and I was supposed to go see it this weekend with a friend and she cancelled!! Damn her and her sick child.

I havent seen it either, I cant bring myself to sit there for almost 4 hours.

In venting news...I'm tired of my friends dating total losers, then complaining about them, only to not break up with them. I refer to this as relationship retardedness.

[crazymage]

im mad janet jackson only exposed 1 boob, damn her !

[Nakiro]

Venting eh?

I can't seem to get shit done lately. I have no idea why either, but I have no motivation to do anything with my life.

This morning I got up at 7:40 and just sat down at my comp. knowing that I had an 8 o'clock class. Maybe its just this shitty cold weather, but I couldn't drag myself out of my seat.

I just need to get my life in gear but can't seem to find a reason to do anything. Its my ONLY class today too.

Atleast christian music still lifts me up.

Hang in there Tijay.

[Sean]

yea i have no motivation either i realized my i had a 10 am class at 1030 and i havn't slept yet.

[Drew2]

Originally posted by Nakiro
Venting eh?

I can't seem to get shit done lately. I have no idea why either, but I have no motivation to do anything with my life.

This morning I got up at 7:40 and just sat down at my comp. knowing that I had an 8 o'clock class. Maybe its just this shitty cold weather, but I couldn't drag myself out of my seat.

I just need to get my life in gear but can't seem to find a reason to do anything. Its my ONLY class today too.


Yay. I'm not alone.

I was up until 3 am this morning trying to force myself to study for the History test I just bombed. I found a lot of motivation this semester, especially over the past week, but no matter what I can never bring myself to read for History classes or Politics classes. I simply don't care. I know that sounds ignorant, but I'm sorry if I don't care what happened over 100 years ago. I'm sorry if I don't want to read hundreds of pages on something I'm not going to need in my carreer and frankly won't regret never knowing.

But yeah... so I was up until 3am, knowing the entire time that I had a test in the morning. I probably read about 2 pages. I did more reading on the bus and before class than I did at home. I hate myself for that... that I'm still not mature enough to do what I need to do even when I don't want to do it. Ah, well.

[Nakiro]

I can never bring myself to study either. I always crack the books and then two minutes into reading I feel like I'm back in lecture and ready to go to sleep.

I spent 300 dollars in text books last semister. Only used one book. I'm also too lazy to return the other ones for cash...

Meh... I need some sleep.

[Drew2]

Originally posted by Nakiro
I can never bring myself to study either. I always crack the books and then two minutes into reading I feel like I'm back in lecture and ready to go to sleep.

I spent 300 dollars in text books last semister. Only used one book. I'm also too lazy to return the other ones for cash...


Nakiro = me.

Plus 200 dollars on books.

[Bewitchindryad25]

Since we are venting I figure I'll add mine.

I have this really great person who I'm very close to or atleast thought I was. We got very close really fast, and there is so much I can say about how completely wonderful he is. In fact he treats me better and respects me more than it seems my boyfriend does. Is this a bash on my boyfriend? No not by any means. I love the guy to death but sometimes it seems I come last which is fine I want him to do his own thing be his own person. Anyway, I find myself thinking maybe I'd be happier with this other person. Because I do love them not in love with them but I love them.

Then a few days ago we had a talk, because he's starting to feel more as well or atleast thats the way I understood it. Now all of a sudden, said person is making it very obvious they are avoiding me. They are busy thats fine I have no problem with that. But I wish they'd just talk to me instead of avoiding it. Or thats what it seems to me. I care for this person more than most people in the world they are closer to me than I've let anyone in a long time. So I'm confused. Do I just let them do their own thing and be around when they need me? Or do I try to just let it go completely. Cause honestly I feel like I'm doing something so wrong and I hate this feeling it eats me up, it hurts. I would never intentionally hurt someone ever its not in me. So either I sit here feeling like an ass, or do I go on trying to figure out what I'm thinkin?

Yes I'm confused, maybe this makes no sense. This is the first time I've really ranted and let anything emotional out. But its keeping me from sleeping and eating and really being able to concentrate on anything. Because I really do think the world of this person and love him dearly. I just want to know whats on his mind I guess.

[peam]

I could bitch and moan about being too lazy to go to class and study. I am, no doubt, but complaining about it's equivelent to pissing in the wind. That's something that can easily be remedied by anyone here, barring a psychological disorder. So cowboy up and get it done, etc.

Instead this shall be my vent:

Women are still the devil.

[Shalla]

Originally posted by Mint
How can you ever know? I still wonder about how I might have helped him had I known he was so depressed.

It's hard to know, for the people who are serious about commiting suicide are usually the ones you least expect. If one has decided to commit suicide, they will never tell anybody or give the impression that they will do such an act. Majority of people has thought of commiting suicide as a means of escape but we do not go through with it. You may be able to stop someone who is set on commiting suicide, but once their mind is set.. they will most likely do it again without you finding out and there is nothing you can do to prevent it.

Some people who has died from suicidal death doesn't really want to die.. Sometimes they want to get to the edge, and some freak accident happens that pushes them. Or sometimes people talk about commiting suicide as a means of reaching out or call for help. Very rarely do they go through with it.

[Edaarin]

I have you all beat...$610 on books, $45 on dissection kit, but I actually use most of them.

I don't have any real beefs right now. That's gotta be a first. Everything in my life is actually going right for once after an extremely depressing semester, I feel like I'm starting to finally get my shit together. We'll see how long it lasts.

[DianaBanana]

My junior year of college there was this girl Melissa in one of my classes. Melissa seemed quite normal and happy...or so we all thought.

After our final was over we met up in the cafeteria. She paid for my meal cause she had food points to use and she started talking about the summer. We exchanged phone numbers and emails and all seemed good.

About an hour later I'm taking another final and I hear sirens. I find out a day later that Melissa jumped in front of the train and killed herself.

I was friends with some of her good friends and they all told me that none of them had suspected she was depressed or suicidal. It was quite a shock to us all.

[Ylena]

I'm sick of stupid people who can't drive. I'm sick of driving at 5 mph on the highway because said stupid people manage to go fast enough to have a fatal accident, and the stupid goddamn Chippies take freaking 6 hours to clear the accident. What's with that? They're DEAD. Get 'em out of the way already. I'd hate to eat shit on my commute and have my last conscious thought be "This sucks. Not only am I going to die, but I'm going to piss off several thousand people."

I'm sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself. I'm moving, so I'm purging a lot of my packratted crap, and I found an envelope of pictures from my mid-twenties. Jesus. I look suicidal. NOTHING that happens right now can possibly make me as unhappy as I was then. Why do I keep forgetting just how far I've come? Why am I too stupid to manage enough self-discipline to do all the other crap on the "gee I need to do this" list?

I'm tired of being ugly. I can change my hair color a hundred thousand times and it's not going to take away from the fact that the rest of me looks like the gigantic woman on a crappy carnival midway, but without the beard. If I wear grey, I look like a bleached whale. If I wear black, I look like a black hole. If I wear jeans and a t-shirt, I look like spam-sucking trailer trash.

I'm tired of not being cute and perky and eighteen. How the hell did I get to be this goddamn old? I don't FEEL any older than I did. Why did I waste the years when I was at least sorta cute and perky? My life is half over. Where the hell did it all go?

I'm tired of feeling like a failure because my son isn't turning out like I hoped, and I'm tired of feeling like a horrible parent because I want him to learn how to conform a little bit, and I'm tired of walking around my apartment and avoiding the empty bedroom and the clothes he left behind in the closet when he moved to his dad's. I'm tired of feeling like I caused it all. I'm tired of how freaking quiet it is, all the time. I'm tired of missing him, and tired of trying to figure out how to rebuild a relationship that I still can't figure out how it unravelled so badly.

I'm tired of not being what everybody wants me to be, most of all me.

I'm tired of writing this self-indulgent bullshit that isn't going to change anything at all, but is making me feel like crap.

I'm tired of venting.

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Ylena
I'm sick of stupid people who can't drive. I'm sick of driving at 5 mph on the highway because said stupid people manage to go fast enough to have a fatal accident, and the stupid goddamn Chippies take freaking 6 hours to clear the accident. What's with that? They're DEAD. Get 'em out of the way already. I'd hate to eat shit on my commute and have my last conscious thought be "This sucks. Not only am I going to die, but I'm going to piss off several thousand people."


That goes double for bridge jumpers. Why jump from a bridge? You might live! Put a friggin bullet in your head or hang yourself. You'll definatley get the job done and you won't piss so many people off. If you're gonna do the bridge, either jump and get it over with or walk the fuck back to your car. Stop pissing 100's of people off who now WANT you to die.

Triple if it's on the Friday evening rushhour of a holiday weekend. Fuckers.

[Mint]

People who get on my bus when I have been stuck in traffic due to an accident and start yelling at me for being late. WTF am I supposed to do about it? Maybe it is because I look like I am 12 years old and they think I can be intimidated I dont know. The male drivers never seem to encounter this problem as much.

Well, off to ferry the unwashed masses around. Have a great day.

[Souzy]

My vent for the day...

I have a hang over and my neck hurts like hell. I had 3 hours of sleep today cos my crazy mom decided to call my house at 6:30AM to tell me something useless, then I tried to fall back to sleep for another hour and I couldn't! The bitch.

[Iriscience]

My vent:

BET sucks on Sundays. I wanna see Drag'on and Tigger, not Brother Gerard and his neverending godtalks.

[Zakre]

ANGST

[Nakiro]

Some guy tried to rip me off for 2m in a dice gambling! Luckly I won the roll, but if I hadn't I would've paid up! Aaturian is such a fucker.

[Mint]

Originally posted by Nakiro
Some guy tried to rip me off for 2m in a dice gambling! Luckly I won the roll, but if I hadn't I would've paid up! Aaturian is such a fucker.


Next time have a third party to hold both your bets. You gunning for Aaturian now btw? I would be. But I am vengeful.

[Nakiro]

It was probably a locker character. He had some decent fame though, so I went for it anyway.

Yah I'll probably kill him a few times for sport.

[Betheny]

You know what bothers me? I'm not sure everyone here quite understands my sarcasm.

I mean, ONE JOKE about beating someone with a dildo, and I'm labelled for life. I don't own a dildo, and I'm not a violent person. It's a little annoying when I say something and I get prodded about it. I'm not the Dick Amazon. I realize I perpetuated it, but my defense mechanism revolves around sarcasm and satire. So... yeah. I just thought I'd let it out. I'm really not a psycho sex toy person.

Thanks.

[Mint]

I still want to have your children Maimara

[Betheny]

Originally posted by Mint
I still want to have your children Maimara

If ever I should die and be reincarnated as a male with working testicles, sure.

[Shalla]

Originally posted by Maimara


I mean, ONE JOKE about beating someone with a dildo, and I'm labelled for life. I don't own a dildo, and I'm not a violent person. It's a little annoying when I say something and I get prodded about it. I'm not the Dick Amazon. I realize I perpetuated it, but my defense mechanism revolves around sarcasm and satire. So... yeah. I just thought I'd let it out. I'm really not a psycho sex toy person.

Thanks.

I know.. :( at least yours sounds more of a joke,.. mine are all derogatory.

[Betheny]

Depends. I don't think it's funny anymore.

[Sean]

Anyone else have fucking dumbass friends? I mean im extremely loyal to my friends and in most cases would do almost anything for the. But tonight i had to drag 2 friends out a bar as the owner banned from them and threatened to call the cops. Why you might ask? Because one guy i was hanging out with kept pressuring this girl to tell her the truth about why someone wasn't talking to him and when she finally told him he blew up. The bartender came over and told him to stop and take it somewhere else. He blew up at the bartender yelling about him how he had no right to tell him what he can say/do etc. and my other friend blindly ran to his aid pushing the bartender and getting into his face. So to make a long story short I will no longer be hanging out with these two assholes because this isn't the 1st time I've gotten into something like this because of them.

[Galleazzo]

Originally posted by Maimara
I'm really not a psycho sex toy person.

Lord liftin' Jesus, if I wasn't a kind and generous man, I'd .sig this.

:grin:

[Parkbandit]

Originally posted by Soulpieced
My roommate makes it widely known he doesn't have class until 3:30 on Monday's. I tried to go to bed at 12:30 and he was blasting music until about 1:45 and also did his laundry. That said, I have a very high threshhold of hearing for low wavelengths (bass) and I didn't get to bed until 2. Damnit.

Kind of an old post.. but dude.. why do you stand for it?

You need to teach him a lesson.. like maybe Monday Mornings you blast your music as you get ready for your class.

Trust me.. it will stop real quick.

[TheEschaton]

Vent

I dislike not caring about myself. I've let, since high school, my health/weight/etc go to hell, not through any real true self-loathing, but because I truly believe that looks don't matter. Now I'm 20 pounds overweight (which is about the line where you can't turn back, I fear) and, while I'm normally disciplined, I can't seem to work up a desire to work out or any such thing, and be healthy, even though I KNOW my family has high cholesterol and diabetes running rampant like the plague through it.

I also hate the fact that I've outgrown my friends. They're still smoking weed and get blitzed on Tuesday nights, mainly because they still work waitering jobs where they might actually have a Wednesday off. I've graduated from college, moved on, gotten real jobs, and have ambitions and dreams and goals, while these guys are still languishing in the nothingness which is my home town of Buffalo. I told one of these guys that I want to go into politics one day, and he looks at me and says, "Oh cool, so you can legalize weed?" Dumbass - as if my motivations for entering politics are to legalize weed, when I quit in high school. I'm remiss to leave them behind because these are guys I've literally known since I was five. We grew up together.

The girl that got away. She's away, and not here. This has gone well past any crush I've ever had on a girl, and well past any friendship I've had with a girl. And now she's in Africa doing HIV prevention counseling, and she's away. She's been stuck in my head for at least a year and a half now, bordering on two.

/vent

-TheE-

[Edited on 2-13-2004 by TheEschaton]

Tijay ate my cookies!!!!!

[Edited on 2-13-2004 by RangerD1]

[HarmNone]

Do you keep in touch with the girl in Africa, TheE? The work she is doing is difficult and selfless. She must be quite a person. To miss such a person, to care deeply for her, is certainly understandable. :)

HarmNone admires this woman without knowing her

[Amaron]

teachers vent..

Stupid ass 13 years olds that ask me everyday...

Why do we have to know how to do math?

Why do we have to read a book?

screams...

Here is the future....
get ready scam artists my kids won't be able to count change because they don't give a damn..


J

[Edited on 2-13-2004 by Amaron]

[peam]

I can't wait until I can throw out a vent like Amaron's.

[Shalla]

I hate how it's been 8 months and I'm still not over my ex.

I hate how I am reminded of him more than 10x a day.

I hate how I dream about our break-up constantly in different scenerios but more painful.

I hate how I can't get myself to hate him.

I hate myself for wanting him back.

I hate how much I love him.

I hate how he makes me cry.

[Shalla]

Originally posted by Amaron
teachers vent..

Stupid ass 13 years olds that ask me everyday...

Why do we have to know how to do math?

Why do we have to read a book?

screams...


Tell them they don't have to. Tell them you can give them a hallway pass and walk around outside and play. Only by doing so, you'll give them an F.

[Sean]

okay vent #2 for today...

I hate when my roommates girlfriend comes to visit. They seem to think I always want to be their third wheel and insist that I do everything with them. I'd rather stab myself in the eye than third wheel with them kissing and hugging and preforming all kinds of lame ass PDA's. I also hate when she visits because we have THE MOST uncomfortable couch to sleep on and i refuse to sleep in the same room as them. I want to send her stupid ass back to NC now.

Originally posted by Lady Shalla

Originally posted by Amaron
teachers vent..

Stupid ass 13 years olds that ask me everyday...

Why do we have to know how to do math?

Why do we have to read a book?

screams...


Tell them they don't have to. Tell them you can give them a hallway pass and walk around outside and play. Only by doing so, you'll give them an F.

Man, if i was 13 and a teacher told me that shit, i woulda pissed myself with excitement.

[HarmNone]

Heh. I rarely have anything to vent about, but....

Scene: A small bedroom in a small home in the south. Elderly woman lying in a hospital bed at the end of her life. She is 98 years old and has been in hospice care for nearly six months, suffering congestive heart failure and lung disease...

Granddaughter (in her 50's): Is mamaw going to die now?

Me: That is not for us to know, hon. She will go when it is her time. She has accepted this and is prepared.

Granddaughter: Maybe we should take her to the hospital and put her on the "breathing machine" and stuff.

Me: That is not what your grandmother wishes for herself at the end of life. If you will remember, she said she wished to die at home among the things she loved. She asked if that was acceptable to you, and you said it was.

Granddaugher: Yeah, but she didn't know she was gonna.....DIE!

Me: (in my head) What gave you the idea that your grandmother is a cretin? (aloud) She knew, dear. That is why she asked that you and I be here with her. Just hold her hand and tell her you love her. Share the memories that you will always treasure with her, now.

Granddaughter: Yeah, but I can't just let her DIE!

Me: (in my head) And you intend to do WHAT to prevent it? Your grandmother is 98 years old and suffering! (aloud) It is not in our hands to prevent her passing, only to prolong the process. She did not wish that process prolonged. She wished to pass into the hands of the Lord she so loved with dignity and grace. It is up to us to remain strong in our promise to honor that request.
______________

Sometimes, I really wonder about people. Death is difficult, moreso for those who are left behind. Why do they have to make it just as difficult, if not worse, for those who are passing? If your loved one has expressed a wish to be allowed to die with dignity, honor it, dammit!

I am a compassionate person, or try to be. However, there are some things that really get to me. If you make a promise to someone that their wishes will be honored, that promise must be kept no matter how difficult it may be for you. Thankfully, this daughter did not call 911, as she kept threatening to do, and the dear old woman passed peacefully among her memories. Hopefully, she was beyond hearing the angst being expressed over her helpless form before I could arrange to have someone take the granddaughter from the room.

Please, talk to your family members. Be sure what people want at the end of life. For that matter, think about what you want at the end of your life. Death is inevitable. We all know that. The dying deserve respect. Try with all you have to be prepared to give them that respect. They will continue in your heart. :)

HarmNone

[Mint]

Grief can make the most rational, compassionate person frantically willing to try anything to save the loved one.

[Shalla]

My ex ex.. wanted an indian burial. He said if we ever get married, he wants it like that. His body left to rot out in the woods, where the birds can feed on him. He's not even indian.

I was like. You can't make me when you're dead. But I know he was just saying that coz he saw it from that movie he likes.

[HarmNone]

That is true, Mint. That is why I decided to post this. When someone chooses to die at home and without heroic intervention, the family must prepare. If the granddaughter had called 911, the EMTs would have intubated the helpless woman and hauled her off to the hospital. That was NOT what she wanted, but that is what would have been done despite her living will.

Sadly, if a family member gets "cold feet" at the last moment, the wishes of that family member can take precedence over the wishes of the dying person, even if the dying person has a living will. I have seen it often, and it is not a pretty picture. It is especially ugly when you know that the suffering individual did not wish it to be so. :(

HarmNone...if you love them, let them go if that is what they wish

[HarmNone]

Originally posted by Lady Shalla
My ex ex.. wanted an indian burial. He said if we ever get married, he wants it like that. His body left to rot out in the woods, where the birds can feed on him. He's not even indian.

I was like. You can't make me when you're dead. But I know he was just saying that coz he saw it from that movie he likes.

Heh. I can see where he was coming from, but what he wanted is illegal. One can no longer rot in the woods. There are laws against it.

I have been involved in hospice care for quite awhile, and I have never had anyone who was faced with the actuality of impending death ask to be left in the woods to rot. Thankfully.

HarmNone

[Mint]

I do agree with you HarmNone. My sister passed away a few months ago and she wanted no heroic intervention either. We all agreed to that but when she was actually close to dying it was extremely hard not to argue with her decision because each moment was important and we wanted more of them even just an hour.

[Ylena]

Hell, the way I feel today, you wouldn't have to put me outside to rot. I'm rotting indoors.

Today's vent? Moving SUCKS. I mean, I'm excited about the new apartment, but all this packing and cleaning is making me feel way too domestic. I shouldn't have been so cheap and just hired somebody to do it. The three minute booty call had better be worth all this angst.

[HarmNone]

I hear you, Mint. I lost my grandfather a few years ago. He was in his 80's and his time had come. However, it did not make it easier for us to say "goodbye". We had prepared, yet still we suffered. The greatest gift we could give to him was our love, and the realization that he deserved better than the continuation of HIS suffering. I am glad you realized that, too, in the case of your sister. It is greatly to your credit. :)

HarmNone

[HarmNone]

Gah! I hate to move! It is pure torture. That is why we have whole rafts of people in the business of providing that disgusting service. Call Merry Maids and go shopping! :D

HarmNone

[Betheny]

I'd say it depends on the possible quality of life after such intervention. If there's no chance for the person to get better or enjoy life, why prolong it?

On the other hand, if there's a chance (not an extremely remote one) that said person may be able to live a good life after intervention... I might think about it. There are some that say they would rather die than be in a wheelchair; I think that's rediculous. However, when it comes to some terminal illness like cancer or AIDS or some debilitating disease like Alzheimer's... sometimes it's just best to let nature run its course.

I never once had any thought of putting my aunt (who was in full renal failure) in the hospital after she told me she was sick of dialysis. She got incoherent, and we took her to a dialysis center, but we never put her in the hospital. She died, but she knew she would never get a transplant, and she had told me prior to her Alzheimer's taking a turn for the worse, that she didn't want to be a 'sad science experiment.'

People that rely on machines to live and are unhappy, or unable to be happy or unhappy, should be allowed to die. People that prolong their lives, that can't let go... disturb me.

[HarmNone]

Most people who say they "would rather die than be in a wheelchair" are not faced with actually being in a wheelchair. They are working on the thoughts of a healthy person who is able to get around and do the things they want to do in the ways they are accustomed to. If something happens to them and the wheelchair possibility becomes a reality, most of them will adjust quite nicely. They find that it is not nearly as bad as they thought it would be. :)

Those who have diseases that have no cure and cause unbearable suffering are the ones who normally have living wills and do not wish interventions beyond pain relief and other comfort measures. Some with these conditions, however, choose that all measures possible be taken to prolong their lives. Quality of life is a factor that can only be measured by the person to whom that life belongs. While I might not make the same decision, I must honor the decisions made by others. It is, after all, their life not mine.

HarmNone

[Galleazzo]

Fuck nature running its course. My mother-in-law died of Alzheimer's about ten years ago. I never much liked her, but she'd been a smart, incisive lady who'd rather have had her throat slit than go that way. Second to last time we visited her in the home she clung to my wife and whimpered, "Please help me" over and over. She was mostly gone then, hadn't said a word in months, must've recornized her voice. If we'd not been out of staters, I would've broke in at 3 AM and put a pillow over her face. I wouldn't let a dog suffer like that.

Makes me want to take everyone who says assisted suicide is a sin and wrong, shove a fishing gaff up their asscracks, turn it sideways, and yank hard. Fuck'em.

[HarmNone]

I agree with you, Galleazzo; although, not with the same level of anger. ;)

My grandfather was stricken with Altzheimer's, as well. I know the pain of it only too well.

HarmNone

[TheEschaton]

Harm, I do, but one thing we take for granted in the States is a relatively fast moving mail system. She left in October, she sent me a letter when she arrived (in Mozambique) and I only got it around Christmas time. I sent one back a week later, no word yet as to whether she's even gotten it....

....for a person like me, who checks his EMail every hour, that's not nearly enough. I should count the little blessings, I guess, in that she thought of me enough to write, cause otherwise, I would of never had her address.

As for the death thing, death is another thing this country has an obsessive hang up about. Don't know why. The thing with Terry Schiavo down in Florida literally makes me want to hurl something at the wall.


-TheE-

[HarmNone]

I am glad you are keeping in touch with this marvelous woman, TheE. To lose such a friendship would be a Very Bad Thing!

I grew up overseas, in several countries, so I am well aware of the vagaries of the international mail system. Heck, sometimes the telephones do not work, either. Still, we managed. It just takes a bit more patience. :)

HarmNone

When i was home on con leave for my wrist surgey i saw my grandfather a few weeks before he died. he was in a half way house and he could barely sit up, talk and couldn't even get into his wheelchair without assistance. My grandfather was probaly one of the strongest invididuals i have ever met, mentally or physically. I mean when the man was like 72 he had a grip like death itself. That was the most horrifying thing i have ever seen in my life, and i've seen some pretty fucked up shit. I like to think of myself as a pretty stoic individual but i couldn't stand to watch him like that. I was so relieved when they told me that they had taken him home and he had died a few weeks later.

If anybody would have talked about making him suffer any longer then neccessary i would have ripped them a new asshole and i wouldn't have cared who it was.

[Galleazzo]

Thanks, Harm. It just made me so fucking MAD. I know Martha wouldn't have wanted that and I know she didn't want it, and she should have had a lot more years to travel and read and do what she wanted. Instead she spent her last four years gaga and her last two as a veg.

The moment I hear I have Alzheimers I'm going to eat my gun. Right that fucking day. I'll put affairs in order and go down to the sea and blow my brains out, because I don't want to get to the point I'm too out of it to do it myself or to trust that someone else will.

[HarmNone]

I cannot tell you how much I feel your pain, Galleazzo. Altzheimer's is so bloody cruel; not only to the person who is stricken with it but to those who love them. To watch someone slowly become someone else is devastating.

My grandfather was one of the most intelligent men I have ever known. He prided himself on it; perhaps, to a fault. However, it was what made him who he was. To see that slowly seep away, to see him unable to complete a crossword puzzle or understand what was written in a book, was horrible for all of us who knew and loved him. His passing was a loss, but also a blessing. I try to think of it, most times, as the latter. :)

HarmNone

[Ilvane]

I understand the frustration you went through with the family, HarmNone..When my dad was in his coma, we went through that, because we had to choose to let him go because the doctors were using every possible means to keep him alive with medications.

When his blood pressure kept dropping, they gave him more medicine, until they couldn't give anymore. That's when they called us and asked my mother to sign the "no heroic measures" paper. He died about an hour later.

I know my dad wouldn't wanted to have lived in a coma, or not be able to talk, breathe or eat for himself..just for the sake of being "alive". That's what bothers me about that Terry Schivo case as well, because I can't imagine what it must be like to have to watch your loved one like that for years and years, and not be able to go on with your life fully.

Anyway..this week is the anniversary (1 year) of my dad's death..so I'm thinking about this sad stuff anyway..ugh..on to chocolate and valentines, please!! :(

-A

[Caiylania]

My great-grandmother had that. It was really hard on her husband, he had full mental capacities til the day he died. She died a year after that. To have someone you love, THERE, physically in the room but not with you is so horrible. Seeing her was awful.

For one moment, the day of his funeral she seemed to understand, and then the moment was gone. Why do our bodies turn on us? :( Age is one thing, I know we get run down over time. But that is just cruel.

They say they are getting closer to a cure, may they be right

[TheEschaton]

It's nature taking it's course. Humans just simply aren't meant to live that long.

If you think of it, from a biological/functional point of view, the human being is genetically worthless from the age of 50 on.

Just a little devil's advocate, don't kill the messenger, folks. The arrogance of youth and all that rot. ;)

I personally have no animosity towards my death, except that it might come far too soon, or far too late. I'm shooting for that magic number of 65 myself. Enough time to do what I want to do, not nearly at a point where I'll be slobbering on myself.

As Dennis Leary says, "These anti-smoking guys, they keep on saying, 'if you quit now, you'll add ten years onto your life.' Well, folks, it's the worst fucking 10 years of your life! The ones at the end!"

-TheE-

[LilHellcat]

My grandmother, who died in January, was the age of about 68 years old. Her birthday was the 29th of Jan, she died the 4th. She chose to go though. She had been in renal failure on dialysis for 4 months. I seen her go from the woman who took care of everyone else to the one who had to be taken care of. She hated it. She hated depending on us. I think in my heart the only reason she went on dialysis (she had gained 80 pounds of fluid at first) was because we begged her too. Because at first I couldn't let her go I thought she'd be fine.

From day one she had trouble. Her wounds where they put the tubes? I can't remember the name into her arms (she has horrible veins) got infected she'd just like bleed all over the place she was doing dialysis 3 times a week. She went from walking around to me having to even have to help her dress. I watched her and it broke my heart it killed me because though I'm grateful I had her for christmas, I just watched this woman who once raised 3 kids on her own go through all she has surgery wise (heart surgery 3 times or 4, breast cancer, numerous other ones)go to almost not being able to do anything at all. This is a woman who at one time would not even go outside without make up or dressing up. It was just HOW she was.

On christmas is when I noticed it the most, she loved her great grandbabies and grandbabies, but she just sort of sit there for a few minutes and she was so bad she would shake. Not long after she was admitted into the hospital the doctor who she had was a wonderful man he would fight for someone even knowing they had 0 chance. But he came in and told us that if we went in and did dialysis again it'd only torture her and he let her make her own choice. She held my hand and told she loved me, and she loved my son and all of us but that it was her time. She was ready to go. So they offered her comfort measures. She died the next morning, while I was singing to her (she used to love me to sing Amazing grace to her) and holding her hand. She smiled up and me and then she died and to me she looked the most peaceful and more youthful than I've seen her in years. I just kissed her forehead and told her she didn't have to fight anymore that she could rest.

So yes it hurts me more than most to read stories to see someone that can't choose for themselves let alone being able to choose and not being allowed. To me after a point its only torture. I'd rather miss them and know they are not hurting or miserable than to see them hooked to machines and becoming a shell of the person they once was.

[Vixen]

My grandmother died a month ago yesterday. I still havnt dealt with it. I basically want to shove everyone out a window these days. I know it will pass.. but anyhow.
She had been sick for a while. And one of the things she made us promise her was that she wouldnt die in a hospital hooked up to every machine known to man.
So against doctors orders, we brought her home. Set up hospice, knowing it wouldnt be but a day, maybe two before she was gone. She was in an out of it, saying crazy things. Sometimes she knew you were there, other times she was talking about things that happened in her childhood. She had reverted back to about 12 years old.
I dont know how people can watch that. She was the most important person in my life, and I would have done ANYTHING to ease her pain. No matter what that was.
2 days after we brought her home, she passed in her sleep, with her family with her. She was happy, and she had gotten coherant enough to talk to be before she died.
And that made all the agonizing over whether or not to listen to medical professionals.. or listen to our instincts... that much easier to deal with in the long run.

another unusually wordy moment
from yours truly
Jani

[Ilvane]

:passes out hugs, just because:

:sigh:

-A

[Caiylania]

Oh a lighter note, and because this is the vent thread.

I got to see Return of the King for the first time the other night. We were there with four friends. Anyway, the move is just past their arrival in Isengard when this guy in front of us gets up and goes towards the center aisle and leaves. He comes back 5 minutes later. 10 mins after that, he leaves again just to come back a few minutes later. He does this SIX times before stopping, only to start up again shortly after Faramir leads his last charge.

Not only is this extremely rude in itself (SIT IN THE BACK!) But damn, couldn't he have gone to the right towards the outer aisle so as not to walk in front of the screen over and over and over??

Then when he was sitting down he and his buddies talked the whole time.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr

[Souzy]

Ugh, death, it's an insane feeling when it happens to someone close to you. Cos you never really expect for someone you love to ever go away, so you try, pray and hope that they'll continue on FOREVER. Which is not going to happen. Too bad her 50ish year old daughter couldn't realize that.

I dealt with my grand-mother and my uncle dying all within the same year. That was horrible for me. Then the year before that, my other uncle that is like a father to me, was near death. That year was going rough for me as well. I worked in the O.R. at that time too. So I would walk over to ICU to go visit him during my breaks. I remember that the first day I went to go see him was on 9-11 too. I saw him and he didn't look good, I broke down in tears. Everyone thought it was cos of 9-11 too. At that point, I didn't give a shit about 9-11. The resident Dr. was talking to me, and I didn't even hear a word he said, I was crying the whole time. Then, I'd go into my office and cry my ass off. Yeah, I can understand how people don't know any better when it comes to someone you love dying.

[TheEschaton]

The day I went to go see LOTR:ROTK (which was the first night, I'll admit it, I'm a dork) I went with my friend and his little sister to see it - some asshole in front of us had his cell phone on. It rang, in the middle of the movie, which is bad enough, but most people are embarrassed enough and turn it off and look sheepish. This dickweed answered, and STARTED HAVING A CONVERSATION! I almost tore the kid's head off.

On a side note. You've known a guy since he was 5. You remember when his little sister was born. She considers you an older brother like figure. Is it wrong to think she's off-the-charts hot and start drooling every time you see her? My guess is yes, but damn, Jessica, damn.

-TheE-

[Artha]

If she's not related by blood, she's fair game.

As to the cell phone thing, you should've uh...accidentally kicked the dickweed in the back of the head.

[TheEschaton]

She's not related, no. She'll be a minor for another year, though....<stare>

But....she's my best friend's little sister. This is a friendship to the point where there's this sort of unsaid thing, that if some guy ever messed with our sisters (I have a younger one as well) we'd gang up and fucking make him regret the day he was born.

To put it in Seinfeld terms - this is a family I've helped move, THREE times. Not once, not twice, three times.

-TheE-

[Souzy]

She's a minor? And your best-friends LITTLE SISTER?! LOOK THE OTHER WAY! Dayum!

As for the movies thing, I hate that shit!!!! I remember going to watch, yes..."Bring it On", I went with my aunt, older sister and my neices, the neices (9-12 years old) wanted to go see it, mmkay. Anyway, there was these college students or HS kids sitting in back of me. So, through out half of the God damn movie, they was kicking the back of my chair, and constantly!!!!! So, I'm trying to set a good example in front of the kids right. I turned around and asked them if they could stop kicking the back of my chair, smiled and turned back around.

They stopped, for like 15 minutes! Damn kids!!!! Then, they started doing it again. So I was like bump this! I turned around and said, "I'M GOING TO ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME TO STOP FUCKIN' KICKING MY GOD DAMN CHAIR!"
My aunt looked at me like I was nuts. But, damn, why are kids such idiots. I told my neices never to repeat what I said, haha. Ummm, yeah, that's why I don't have kids. Plus they stopped kicking my chair. :D

[Caiylania]

The idiots were drunk too, the brought in heinies to drink. Almost........ alllllllmooost wanted to turn them in. Couldn't have been hold enough, not to mention you can't bring in drinks :D

[Souzy]

OK, here's my rant. I'm working today until 11PM, tell me how bad that sucks on a Saturday night and on Valentine's Day! I want to go out with my friends, but I said I'd cover tomorrow, since one of the office girls quit, and I have to leave my house at 6:30AM to get here for 7AM. That means I can't go out tonight, cos I usually get home around 5AM. This sucks monkey balls!!!! :rant:

[Sylphsyte]

listen to this one...
They were cutting back on work hours at my job, and I get a phone call on my day off from the HR bitch. "We're doing some hour changes and we only need you for 2 days a week, umm.. ok? I'll see you next week, have a nice weekend"
Next day that I work I find out that the one chick at work that I hate.. (Someone that knows that trick, how to look busy working and never does a bit of work and never gets caught ) that was going to have her hours taken down too started to cry all over the place.. now has MY job!
What made my ears turn purple was that she had the nerve to come up to me and ask me for the pass code to my old phone because she was being given my old cubicle....

I giggled when she got fired on friday.:lol:

[Edaarin]

Stupid ass waiter spilled coke all over my new fleece.

[Stunseed]

Heh, back in the day some crack-head waitress spilled sub-zero < almost > sweet tea, right at my crotch. It really, really sucked.

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by TheEschaton
Is it wrong to think she's off-the-charts hot and start drooling every time you see her? My guess is yes, but damn, Jessica, damn.I hope not, because I do the same. Funny story, it's a friend who's a girl, not a guy, and my older brother went out with the older girl while going out with a girl from MA who's younger sister went out with my younger brother. Did I say funny? I meant to say, I never wanted to think about that ever again and I blame the Bills for it. HEX on the Bills.

Damn I need some sleep.

[Souzy]

My vent for the day, I HATE WORK! It's so freakin' boring!!!!! Might I add that I'm tired too. I was suppose to be here at 7AM, but I woke up at 6:55AM, haha!!! I got ready in 5 minutes, YES, 5 minutes! Then, headed out at 7AM, got here at 7:25AM and opened up the office. Thank God the General Manager doesn't work weekends, muahahaha!!!! I need some form of caffine right now. :coffee:

[Myshel]

My vent for the day. Its my day off and I only have one, instead of laying around and getting to rest, I have laundry, housework and errands to run. I have a long list in front of me and I'm not in the mood.

[TheEschaton]

Just a mini-vent here. My grandma is in town, so she took me out to dinner. Since she's living on a pension (from India, no less), we went to some Denny's like place.

Now, I'm not all that removed from 16 years old, but there was a booth of 6 teenagers next to us acting like complete retards. I'm assuming at least one of them was 16, cause they were alone, and this place wasn't really near any residential place, but if I saw them outside that context, I wouldn't of placed any of them older than 14.

Wearing their goddamn Pantera shirts, and their AC/DC shirts, when they weren't even frickin' alive for AC/DC's best years! Black, spiky hair, and all that shit. They gave metalheads a bad name. Just yelling random comment to people at the other tables, spilling shit all over each other and laughing like it was Chris Rock's newest routine. Fuck. Learn some civility.

I mean, hell, I was a metalhead, and a punk, and I dressed like one - but at least I had the decency to be the withdrawn, I'm-too-cool-to-act-anything-else-but-ice-cold type of punk, instead of these fucking ass weasels. Pantera, fuck, they've probably never even been to a Pantera show. Little did they know the guy in the khakis and the button down at the next table used to follow Fear Factory/Static X/(hed) p.e. around to shows all over NY and PA and the rest of New England. Goddamn them for tarnishing what was once a proud following. Goddamn Good Charlotte and Blink and all these fucking pansy bands for making punk mainstream. Goddamn them all!

-TheE-

[peam]

It's not like Fear Factory, Static X, nor Head PE exist deep in the underground.

Cut the kids a break, everyone involved in underground music was a dumbass at some point.

[TheEschaton]

When I was in high school, they most certainly were deep underground. ;)

Unless you call Gotham City in Rochester, NY as the big time.

-TheE-

[Bobmuhthol]

I have to agree with TheEschaton, not because I listened to underground music, but because all the pussy bands did make it mainstream and that sucks.

[peam]

There's pretty solid stuff in the mainstream. You just have to know what you're doing, and you can't listen to mainstream music with the whole "OMG THEY $OLD OUT AND I AM SO ELITE OMG I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT MUSIC."

It makes people who really do know everything about good music, such as myself, view you as a moron.

[TheEschaton]

I don't go all apeshit when people appear on MTv. I never liked Blink or Good Charlotte to begin with.

I didn't freak out when I saw that Static X video on MTV once. Nor did I freak out when System hit the main street. I still listen to Serj.

I didn't freak when Manson hit mainstream (though I do think Portrait is still his best album, and it just kept on going down from there - I didn't even buy the Wormwood album).

I just hate that my genre of music has now become mainstream, and any and all stupid idiots now thing it's cool to be whatever-whatever.

-TheE-

[Mint]

I came home and went to throw a load of laundry in and there is water on the floor around the base of my water heater which is in the same room. Not a lot but it is an old water heater so probably needs replacing. That is my vent of the day.

edited to add: oh and a friend of mine in game sends me psinet mail saying 'come see me'. I send mail back saying well that would be easier if I knew where you were. And he sends a pissy message about me not coming and logs off. Give me a break. That is all.


[Edited on 2-16-2004 by Mint]

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by TheEschaton
I just hate that my genre of music has now become mainstream, and any and all stupid idiots now thing it's cool to be whatever-whatever.Yeah, it pissed me off when U2 went mainstream and got popular...

...no wait, that was before I was born. Drat.

[Betheny]

Music snobs are annoying. Why? Just because something is underground or little-known doesn't mean it's good. That's a band wagon as much as mainstream music is.

[Edited on 2-16-2004 by Maimara]

[Nakiro]

I hate having to write a five page paper on how many college students donate blood.

[Skirmisher]

I tend to like mainstream music.:baa:

[peam]

Originally posted by Maimara
Music snobs are annoying. Why? Just because something is underground or little-known doesn't mean it's good. That's a band wagon as much as mainstream music is.


Wrong. The simple fact that mainstream music is generally marketed towards high-school aged consumers does a world of hurt on it's credibility.

And anyone who honestly believes that the best of the best make it into the limelight is a fucking moron. I don't really need to explain that, just turn on the radio.

I'm not saying that good bands don't exist in mainstream, nor am I saying that bad bands don't exist in the underground. However, if you want to find good music, where the artist is doing what they want, not conforming to their record label's standards, you're not going to want to turn on the television/radio/shop for CDs at WalMart.

[Edited on 2-16-2004 by peam]

[Latrinsorm]

I remember I soured on MTV when they had a live video for some random band doing a song I don't remember, but it was a song with a studio fade. So I'm like, I wonder how they end it? And at the part where they start to fade the crowd (not much of one) just started cheering and the band stopped playing. I was like WTF?!?!?? You can't do that when you're live!!! And I changed the channel.

I hate bands with (much) less talent than mine that succeed.

[Latrinsorm]

This week blows.

Over the past week (IG) I've been blacklisted, snipe-killed without so much as a whisper, and lost my (3x augchain) armor.

IRL, I still can't get over this damn cold, I overslept and missed Calc, and tomorrow I have a Calc test and a CompSci test at 9 in the morning.

Plus, my arm hurts. :(

[Galleazzo]

However, if you want to find good music, where the artist is doing what they want, not conforming to their record label's standards, you're not going to want to turn on the television/radio/shop for CDs at WalMart.

I don't listen to tunes based on whether the artist did what he wanted. Haydn wrote something like three dozen works for an obsolete instrument because the whackdoodle he was working for happened to play it. And it's good music, even if he conformed to the whackdoodle's standards.

[Souzy]

/rant

I bought the freakin' wrong printer cartridge!!! Now I gotta drive all the way back to the store and exchange it!

Plus, my characters keep on getting infected by that damn piercing!

/end rant