Something that's been bothering me...

[DaMaGe]

I've been noticing more and more that I shy away from large groups of people lately. I completely avoid places where there are many people like malls, movie theaters, and sporting events unless I absolutely have to be there. Even when I'm just hanging out with my people I'll leave the room or go inside ( depending on where we're at ) if there are more than five or six people there at a time. And if there are people around that I don't know at all, forget about it.

I haven't really been a good person up to this point in my life, and I have a lot of trouble with people judging me for things I've done in the past. Having lived in a ( formerly ) small town for all my life, there aren't too many people around that haven't at least heard of me before. I think this has something to do with it, but I get the feeling there's more to it than just this.

Anyone have some feedback for me?


-Adam

[HarmNone]

I gather you still live in that same small town?

HarmNone

[Volstock]

welp to me your just a shy guy and besides if there's no one you know or who knows you in such a group it would be odd to just stick around. As for malls and theatre I don't go there anymore because it's rather boring now. It just seem the same thing are being sold or showed over and over and over and I don't think your a shopaholic. As for people judging you don't worry yourself about it there's always gonna be people like that and the more you react to them judging the more they'll judge you. Living in a Small town doesn't have anything to you being shy it's just part of your personality, your just shy to talk to people face to face but look how you open up on the broads. my one piece of advice for you is go for it....talk to them you got nothing to loose you don't know them in the first place and maybe just maybe they liked to get to know you too but they themselves are shy also

[DaMaGe]

Originally posted by HarmNone
I gather you still live in that same small town?

HarmNone

Unfortunately, yes. I would move, but my little girl lives here, so...

[DaMaGe]

Originally posted by Volstock
welp to me your just a shy guy...

That's just it, I'm not shy. I just find myself actually not wanting ANY company at all, be it my friends or not. I shut myself fully and completely off from the world and I don't know why.


-Adam

[HarmNone]

Ahh. I can understand why you would not want to move away from her, hon. :)

It is always difficult to live down one's mistakes. It seems to take forever, and the rejection one faces does not help. Yet, the only thing you can do (short of moving) is to stick it out, hold your head high, and show them you have changed from what they think you to be. You cannot do that from hiding. ;)

It is not going to be easy, but you can do it if you really wish to. You play a roleplaying game, right? Okay...this is a great opportunity to practice your skills. Put on your game face, get out there and show them who you are. No matter what comes at you, act your way through it. What we pretend long enough becomes truth, hon. It really does. :)

HarmNone has faith in you!

[Ravenstorm]

Take this test:

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

The results should answer your question I think.

Raven

[DaMaGe]

Your Type is

ISFP

Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving

100 11 11 56

Strength of the preferences %

I'm not sure if this is good or bad. Or either.


-Adam

[Ravenstorm]

It's neither good nor bad. It just is. I'd read up on the net about that personality type and you may get some insights into yourself.

The 'I' is for introvert and at 100% is rather strong. It doesn't mean shy. It means you're someone who recharges by being alone. That being among lots of people is draining and tiring. I'm exactly the same way. After any real time among people - the more the worse - I just need to get away and be alone to recharge.

It's like being in the middle of a room full of psychic vampires :o

Raven

[DaMaGe]

Yeah, but I'm stuck in the recharge stage.

I truly believe that if I never left my house again I would be perfectly happy. That can't be normal.


-Adam

[Mint]

This sounds like the beginning stages of agoraphobia. Something that can seriously mess up your ability to deal with daily living. I would seek counseling as soon as possible because well, it's your life your talking about, or rather quality of life.

[Mint]

http://pages.infinit.net/drnayman/agorapho.htm

[crazymage]

If you havent been a good person change that, start volunteering helping people out i bet your attitude changes pretty quick and you feel better about yourself and others will begin to change their opinion of you.

[DaMaGe]

There's something else that I just thought of.

For the last twelve or so years, my life has revolved largely around drugs and alcohol. Most of my friendships, relationships and just day to day decisions were based on drugs and alcohol.

I no longer drink. It hasn't been that long ( Friday made eight weeks ), but it's longer than I've ever gone without drinking since I first started. I've decided to lay off all drugs too, but I only have a week of sobriety in that department.

Now this feeling of not wanting to be around large groups of people has been slowly growing over the past few years, but I think that having to deal with my problems that have accumulated over the years ( and there are A LOT ) with a clear head is causing me to kind of shy away from everything since I'm not able to deal with it as I normally would, which is to get wasted.

I'm guessing this ties into it somewhere, plus some other factors. I have a lot of issues.

This is depressing.


-Adam

[Ravenstorm]

Go see a professional. If you're truly unhappy because of the way things are going, and don't know why and don't know what to do about it, go talk to someone who specializes in helping people deal with that kind of thing.

A message board won't help.

Raven

[DaMaGe]

I know why I'm unhappy.

I just don't know why I don't want to socialize at all.


-Adam

[crazymage]

you've gotten suggestions, Stop posting and go fix your life!

[Mint]

Originally posted by DaMaGe
I know why I'm unhappy.

I just don't know why I don't want to socialize at all.


-Adam

I am telling you, textbook beginning of agoraphobia! My aunt started out this way and got so bad she couldnt leave the house because she suffered severe panic attacks. She is better now with medication and counseling. Won't hurt you to at least go see someone and get diagnosed. Hell maybe it is something simple so why not? Raven is right, posting on a board wont cure you or diagnose your problem.

[Ravenstorm]

Originally posted by Mint
I am telling you, textbook beginning of agoraphobia!

Stop telling him because chances are you're wrong. You can't make a diagnosis based on three posts, whether your aunt has agoraphobia or not. There are various problems that have similar symptoms. That's what professionals are for.

Raven

[Mint]

Originally posted by Ravenstorm

Originally posted by Mint
I am telling you, textbook beginning of agoraphobia!

Stop telling him because chances are you're wrong. You can't make a diagnosis based on three posts, whether your aunt has agoraphobia or not. There are various problems that have similar symptoms. That's what professionals are for.

Raven

And had you bothered to read further you would have noticed that I encouraged him to go get diagnosed. Yes, this sounds like my aunts disorder...EXACTLY. But that does not mean it is, however he will not know until he sees a professional so dont effing jump down my throat for trying to help him.

[Iriscience]

I hate being around a bunch of people too. Especially people I dont know.

[CrystalTears]

Just don't mention any kind of disorder, just say to get checked. Even the mention of a disorder is enough to get someone stressed out when it doesn't need to be there yet.

I remember when my right eye was first having problems, always irritated, seeing spots and so forth so I went searching for an eye doctor. In the meantime I was in emails with friends of mine, telling them of my symptoms, and one of them said "sounds like the beginnings of muscular dystrophy because my ex started out the same way". What the hell?! That's not something that someone with an eye infection wants to hear.

Needless to say I don't talk to that person anymore, and my other friends bawled her out for even suggesting such a thing. Even though I knew it wasn't that, she had sent me a link with the symptoms of MD, which matched exactly TWO of my symptoms, it still bothered me that it could, you know?

I know you meant well, cause I'm sure she did too, but when someone is already at a low, you don't want to make it any lower with an actual disorder unless you're a doctor and physically tested the person.

[HarmNone]

Being a "loner" is not necessarily indicative of emotional illness. Sometimes, it is simply a preference. The key is: are you happy or unhappy? If you are unhappy, and your unhappiness is interfering with your ability to operate effectively in the real world, it is time to seek professional help. Until you come to terms with who you are and where you are going, things will not get better for you, hon.

HarmNone

[Betheny]

You sound like me. Depression sucks.

Best thing that ever happened to me? Taking action to change things. Be it seeing a counselor, relocating, picking up a new hobby... anything helps.

As for the social aspect? I haven't had a social life for a long time. I don't really miss it too much. You should worry about yourself, before you worry about other people.

[Ravenstorm]

I too am very introverted according to the type of test you took though I'm an INTP. And speaking as the proverbial lone wolf - one whose parents worried about and took to a therapist once because of it - I'm quite happy not forcing myself to be 'social'.

I wasn't joking entirely about the psychic vampire thing. Put me in a room of people I don't know well, or even a large number of those I do, and I start feeling drained and tired.

Only if you're unhappy is it a problem.

Raven

[Edited on 2-2-2004 by Ravenstorm]

[DaMaGe]

I've seen doctors pretty much all of my adolescent life. I know that I'm manic-depressive ( isn't it bi-polar now? ).

The bottom line is that I'm unhappy and anti-social. I'm not unhappy because I'm anti-social, and I'm not anti-social because I'm unhappy.

I only wanted to get this off my chest and maybe get a little insight from ya'll. You don't have to go at each other like that, I'll be alright.

I won't be seeing a doctor any time soon, partly because I don't have the money ( although I could get it ) and partly because I'm really not in the mood to be committed to a rehab center again. That's usually what they do whenever they learn my drug history, regardless of whether I happen to be using at the time or not.

So, thanks for your thoughts.


-Adam

[HarmNone]

Ish, Adam. Those to whom you turn for help are not being helpful by focusing on a problem that you do not have. I know that must be frustrating for you.

If you are not unhappy because of your anti-social tendencies, then I would not worry about them. It may be natural for you to wish to spend a lot of time on your own. I tend to be like that, and I do not let it worry me. It is who I am.

If you are bi-polar, are you on medication for it? That can play into the feelings you are experiencing. To me, it seems important to figure out what is making you unhappy. If you can get a handle on that, you will better know what you must do to get past it. :)

HarmNone

[DaMaGe]

They won't let me take medication for it anymore. I used to take like ten Prozac at a time and wash it down with a twelve pack. I was sixteen or seventeen at the time, but it's still in my medical records.


-Adam

[Latrinsorm]

Book of Wisdom, Book of Sirach, and a little Gospel. Works everytime (well not really, but it's a start).

[Myshel]

If your clean and sober for the first time in 12 years it could be just learning to adjust to the world without drugs and alcohol. Perhaps going to a few AAA meetings would help, talking to people who have been where you are.