When keepin' it real goes wrong

[Stretch]

Storytime! I thought I'd share with everyone what was quite possibly the lowest point in my heretofore undistinguished career. Sorry to disappoint, but if you're looking for another bathroom fiasco, I have nothing for you; this is purely a story of a day in the life of a cog in corporate America.

It started out innocently enough - my director was stuck in California, so rather than teleconference in to a rather important meeting with a senior audience, I was asked to present in her stead. No problem, I thought, since I was the one who did all the analysis and put the deck together in the first place. It would only take 15 minutes to run through everything anyway, so I printed and bound 10 copies before I got in this morning and was on my merry way.

Still, it was my first time presenting to a C-level executive, in a meeting where the next junior person was still four positions above me. I managed to get through my spiel without tripping over my tongue, and answer a couple questions without sounding like a retard. I was feeling pretty confident I was going to make it out with my hide intact at this point.

As I'm wrapping up, the door opens and in walks one of the senior vice presidents from the NY office. He takes a seat at the other end of the table, makes a hand motion at me to pass over a copy of the deck, and promptly starts whispering to the guy next to him.

The next 5 seconds happened in slow motion - I watched in horror and anticipation as the deck I slide across the table slams into the guy's coffee cup, which spills all over his overpriced suit. There's absolute silence for a good twenty seconds as all conversation comes to a screeching halt. The man stares at his pants in disbelief, then looks me square in the eye, saying "Son, in 20 years of banking, I've never seen someone do something so stupid."

The first thing that popped in my mind was to say, "In 2 years of banking, I've never seen someone walk into a meeting 30 minutes late without an apology, treat the presenter like an assistant, and start talking to someone else."

http://dyn.ifilm.com/resize/image/stills/films/resize/istd/2795932.jpg

Instead, I apologized, asked if there were any more questions, and got the fuck out of Dodge.

WU TANG.

[Bokertal]

FUCK HIM

[Kranar]

That guy is an absolute douche bag.

[diethx]

Nice aim, lol.

[Sean of the Thread]

The first thing that popped in my mind was to say, "In 2 years of banking, I've never seen someone walk into a meeting 30 minutes late without an apology, treat the presenter like an assistant, and start talking to someone else."

http://dyn.ifilm.com/resize/image/stills/films/resize/istd/2795932.jpg


WU TANG.

Good for you man. There comes a point in corporate work when you realize it's all just a b bullshit (like you didn't know it going into the line)

sooner or later a normal man is gonna put his foot down and say fuck this shit.

[Danical]

Give him a cockpunch.

[Ignot]

now spilling the coffee on him is funny but his comment and tardiness is disrespect to you. You should have said what you wanted and kept your pride instead of letting this guy be a douche. If he wasn't a dick about the accident then I would say you were right but when you stop standing up for yourself then you lose respect.

[diethx]

If he said what he wanted to he probably would've gotten fired.

[Ignot]

"Son, in 20 years of banking, I've never seen someone do something so stupid."

do you really love your job so much that you want to work for this douchebag and be treated liked shit?" if so fine but ive learned that standing up for myself has not hindered my career in anyway.

[diethx]

I agree that what he said was totally out of line, but unfortunately you can't just mouth off (even if it's standing up for yourself) in most work situations like that without repercussions. I guess it could be considered insubordination or whatever. Can you even get unemployment if you're fired for insubordination?

[Bokertal]

"Son, in 20 years of banking, I've never seen someone do something so stupid."

do you really love your job so much that you want to work for this douchebag and be treated liked shit?" if so fine but ive learned that standing up for myself has not hindered my career in anyway.

Right in the F'ING NUTS! Screw that crap. I am very sorry that you find yourself in a world that requires you tolerate suck an ass monkey. I respect you thought, if you have family carry on, suck it up and PLAN your next move.

[Sean]

You should have told him he's about to enter the 36th chambers and that this isn't trading places nigga protect yo god damn neck.

[Allereli]

Should have told him about the hamsters

[Drunken Durfin]

I used to be Director of Operations for a national consulting firm. I was told by my new VP that there was a corporate wide freeze on all salary increases, just as I sent up raise increase requests for a few of my people, as it was review time. After she told me no, I asked her to reconsider for the head of my production staff, because he was a single Dad with two kids and did an amazing job. She said no again and suggested that get get a second job if things were tight. I was not pleased.

I sent an e-mail to her and CC'ed the CEO of the company. I told them that though company could not afford to give him a raise, but I could not afford to lose my production manager, so please deduct $5K from my base salary and apply it to his. Shit storm ensued as no one at corporate could wrap their head around my request. Things like "but you earned that money" with responses from me along the lines "and it is worth it to me not to lose someone who makes my job easier."

After several e-mails and phone calls, they gave in to my request. Two weeks after my base dropped and his raise went through I quit the company and started my own firm. Fuck corporate America, for the most part they are a bunch of cock-holsters with no social skills.


This site might help you get past the incident:
http://www.mailpoop.com/index.html

[Skeeter]

I agree that what he said was totally out of line, but unfortunately you can't just mouth off (even if it's standing up for yourself) in most work situations like that without repercussions. I guess it could be considered insubordination or whatever. Can you even get unemployment if you're fired for insubordination?

turns out you cannot. also makes it hard to find another job. :(

[diethx]

turns out you cannot. also makes it hard to find another job. :(

Yup... I figured the latter was obvious though, hehe.

[Skeeter]

Apparently I like to learn things the hard way.

[AestheticDeath]

Wait. What? You can't get unemployment for insubordination?

So if a company is having trouble with someone, and they say go clean the shitter. The guy says no, they can fire him and not be responsible for his unemployment? Or would the command/request have to be within the bounds of your normal employment?

Also, Vinh that really sounds horrible. I would have turned beet red with embarrassment. Just make sure you hand things around next time instead of sliding them. And lock the doors when the meeting starts, so the guy breaks his nose... Though I suppose you could get in even worse trouble for something like that.

[Stanley Burrell]

I would've shouted,

"YAO MING WITH THE BRICK."

Because you're Asian and it was a really bad shot. God, I can shoot better frees than you despite my Jewish impairment.

What the fuck Vinh, you used to socialize with me in that MUD game. Say words at me or I'll end you.

Pretty good use of Wu-Tang. 5 star thread.

[ViridianAsp]

That really sucks. You probably did the right thing holding your tongue. After something like that happening to me, I probably would have been seriously red and not been able to say anything. I would have stood there with my mouth agape and voice lost, at least you kept your cool and that's what counts.

That guy is a total douchewad though.

[Celephais]

"YAO MING WITH THE BRICK."
Fucking hilarious.

[Sean of the Thread]

Who cares.. fucking unemployment only caps at like $270 bucks a week here and for a very short period.

[Celephais]

Who cares.. fucking unemployment only caps at like $270 bucks a week here and for a very short period.
What does posting threads asking for people to send you money or put you up cap at?

[Parkbandit]

It's stories like this that make me so fucking happy to be out of the corporate bullshit world.

[AnticorRifling]

turns out you cannot. also makes it hard to find another job. :(
Yeah I'm currently in that boat....

Although yesterday was the company's last day to present evidence of just cause of termination and I doubt they could so I might still get paid, the finding a job part eats though.

[Sean of the Thread]

Good luck finding a job.

I can't get shit here.

[Kyra231]

turns out you cannot. also makes it hard to find another job. :(

You can if the company doesn't respond to the claim from the unemployment office.

[AnticorRifling]

You can if the company doesn't respond to the claim from the unemployment office. They don't have to just respond. They have to show why it was insubordination or whatever.

[g++]

turns out you cannot. also makes it hard to find another job. :((Get unemp if fired for insubord)

How about gross negligence?

[AnticorRifling]

(Get unemp if fired for insubord)

How about gross negligence?
It doesn't matter what the grounds were the company has to provide information that it was justified. If they can produce sufficent information in the specified time you get it.

[g++]

It doesn't matter what the grounds were the company has to provide information that it was justified. If they can produce sufficent information in the specified time you get it.

Well he said if you are fired for insubordination you do not get unemployment. I know I am going to catch shit for this but I actually would like to go on unemployment for a little while sometime in the next year or two if possible to help me close out my degree. How do you get fired and collect?

[AnticorRifling]

Well you could do what I did and be accused of being the mastermind of a thief ring at your place of employment, and then they have no evidence to show you so they say "You're terminated get out" after two hours of being screamed and cussed at.

[g++]

Well you could do what I did and be accused of being the mastermind of a thief ring at your place of employment, and then they have no evidence to show you so they say "You're terminated get out" after two hours of being screamed and cussed at.

My job is so laid back they would probarbly send me to rehab for cleptomania, throw me a party and start a charity in my name. It will not be easy to get out of this job without a letter of resignation.

Also that totally sucks Anticor, but on the bright side at least you did not end up 65 with your retirement sitting in those cock gobblers hands. Better to get out of a company like that now than later.

[AnticorRifling]

If you have the option of staying employed or looking for work while watching 2yr old twin boys STAY AT WORK!

[Methais]

I dunno, being called stupid by some old douchejizz is worth pwning his suit with coffee.

Just tell people you did it on purpose because he's a douche. Then deny it when word gets back to him.

[Sean of the Thread]

If you have the option of staying employed or looking for work while watching 2yr old twin boys STAY AT WORK!


Believe me you won't get credit for taking care of the kids and not working.


At least my cow doesn't credit it.

[AnticorRifling]

Believe me you won't get credit for taking care of the kids and not working.


At least my cow doesn't credit it.
If I wasn't looking for work and I was just staying home with them it would be fine, but it's a touch stressful to be doing applications, phone interviews, etc while they are tearing up my house.

[Methais]

If I wasn't looking for work and I was just staying home with them it would be fine, but it's a touch stressful to be doing applications, phone interviews, etc while they are tearing up my house.

Time for severe beatings?

[Jorddyn]

Time for severe beatings?

I was thinking Ambien + a shot of Jack Daniels.

[AnticorRifling]

I was thinking Ambien + a shot of Jack Daniels.

They can't hold their booze.

[Methais]

Throwing candy into a busy intersection works too ya know.

[g++]

Throwing candy into a busy intersection works too ya know.

But then how do you get your candy back?

[phantasm]

Can't you just make the house baby safe, put up baby gates etc...then let them run wild and clean it up before your wife gets home?

[Gan]

Storytime! I thought I'd share with everyone what was quite possibly the lowest point in my heretofore undistinguished career. Sorry to disappoint, but if you're looking for another bathroom fiasco, I have nothing for you; this is purely a story of a day in the life of a cog in corporate America.

It started out innocently enough - my director was stuck in California, so rather than teleconference in to a rather important meeting with a senior audience, I was asked to present in her stead. No problem, I thought, since I was the one who did all the analysis and put the deck together in the first place. It would only take 15 minutes to run through everything anyway, so I printed and bound 10 copies before I got in this morning and was on my merry way.

Still, it was my first time presenting to a C-level executive, in a meeting where the next junior person was still four positions above me. I managed to get through my spiel without tripping over my tongue, and answer a couple questions without sounding like a retard. I was feeling pretty confident I was going to make it out with my hide intact at this point.

As I'm wrapping up, the door opens and in walks one of the senior vice presidents from the NY office. He takes a seat at the other end of the table, makes a hand motion at me to pass over a copy of the deck, and promptly starts whispering to the guy next to him.

The next 5 seconds happened in slow motion - I watched in horror and anticipation as the deck I slide across the table slams into the guy's coffee cup, which spills all over his overpriced suit. There's absolute silence for a good twenty seconds as all conversation comes to a screeching halt. The man stares at his pants in disbelief, then looks me square in the eye, saying "Son, in 20 years of banking, I've never seen someone do something so stupid."

The first thing that popped in my mind was to say, "In 2 years of banking, I've never seen someone walk into a meeting 30 minutes late without an apology, treat the presenter like an assistant, and start talking to someone else."

http://dyn.ifilm.com/resize/image/stills/films/resize/istd/2795932.jpg

Instead, I apologized, asked if there were any more questions, and got the fuck out of Dodge.

WU TANG.
:lol: Thats awesome. And I've been there with presenting to C Level meetings. Its rough when you're the consultant telling them what they really dont want to hear. Its even worse when its your own peers. Great aim for the coffee by the way.

[AnticorRifling]

Can't you just make the house baby safe, put up baby gates etc...then let them run wild and clean it up before your wife gets home?
Sure...

Except they are smart enough to bypass any baby safe device I've purchased to date. Baby gates don't do shit when you've got twins that understand team work. Those handles you put over the door knobs they've figured out how to pry off.

Running wild they like to unplug my computer, distract me with one while the other bangs on the keyboard (resulting in a few submissions that were probably hilarious), etc.

[Methais]

Sure...

Except they are smart enough to bypass any baby safe device I've purchased to date. Baby gates don't do shit when you've got twins that understand team work. Those handles you put over the door knobs they've figured out how to pry off.

Running wild they like to unplug my computer, distract me with one while the other bangs on the keyboard (resulting in a few submissions that were probably hilarious), etc.

So when do the beatings begin?

EDIT: Or at the very least, this:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/Relie/duct_baby2.jpg

[AnticorRifling]

You're assuming the beatings have stopped.

[DeV]

I was thinking Ambien + a shot of Jack Daniels.
Damn woman, I think you're on to something here. :yes:

[Skeeter]

Yeah I'm currently in that boat....

Although yesterday was the company's last day to present evidence of just cause of termination and I doubt they could so I might still get paid, the finding a job part eats though.

Turns out when you're fired for something subjective like insubordination and being "argumentative" all they have to do is submit a letter as evidence.

Luckily I used my contacts to land a county job at almost equal pay. Unfortunately I only am guarenteed to have it till the end of June.

Did interview for a supervisory position w/i the county today though, that would be a hefty pay upgrade. I was one of only 4 people to interview, so wish me luck.

[Sean of the Thread]

Best of luck skeet. I like your odds.



Country boy.


When I apply for a county job here it's againsts near 300 applications for each job.

[Skeeter]

It's kind of funny. I applied for a county job in Montgomery which is where dayton is. It was like that, 100s of applicants.

This job is in the neighboring county which is like a 20 minute drive. I don't know how many people applied, but I know they only interviewed 4.

Thanks for the luck though.

[mgoddess]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/Relie/duct_baby2.jpg
Holy shit that's the best idea I've ever seen for controlling little hellions.

[diethx]

Good luck Skeeter!


Holy shit that's the best idea I've ever seen for controlling little hellions.


And yeah, that's awesome, lol.

[Shari]

Dude, that SUCKS. I would have been extremely apologetic and offered to pay to have the suit cleaned. However...if he had said what he had after, I probably would have told him to choke on a dick....and then be looking for a job later that day.

I don't "do" corporate. I think if I had done that to MY boss I would have pissed myself laughing and then promise to clean up the mess. I'd have kept my job...but keep in mind I'm making like....1/16th what you do. :(

[Skeeter]

It's kind of funny. I applied for a county job in Montgomery which is where dayton is. It was like that, 100s of applicants.

This job is in the neighboring county which is like a 20 minute drive. I don't know how many people applied, but I know they only interviewed 4.

Thanks for the luck though.



Got a second interview this coming wed. My odds have improved to 50/50.

[AnticorRifling]

Got a second interview this coming wed. My odds have improved to 50/50.

That's almost half!

[TheEschaton]

Vinh, you remind me of Harold, always letting the white man douchebags run over your meek Asian self. Step up, son.

Edit: I hold no truck with corporate America, but I probably, if I was in a similar situation, would say, In my 27 years of life, I've never seen someone be such a douchenozzle.

[Shari]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/Relie/duct_baby2.jpg


I am so doing this to my kid when he's older, just for shits and giggles.

I promise to post pics.

[Daniel]

You know. I probably would have laughed @ him. Then again I tend to not take those kinda things very serious. You make a million bucks a year. Take your shit to the cleaners. QQ.

[nocturnix]

Storytime! I thought I'd share with everyone what was quite possibly the lowest point in my heretofore undistinguished career. Sorry to disappoint, but if you're looking for another bathroom fiasco, I have nothing for you; this is purely a story of a day in the life of a cog in corporate America.

It started out innocently enough - my director was stuck in California, so rather than teleconference in to a rather important meeting with a senior audience, I was asked to present in her stead. No problem, I thought, since I was the one who did all the analysis and put the deck together in the first place. It would only take 15 minutes to run through everything anyway, so I printed and bound 10 copies before I got in this morning and was on my merry way.

Still, it was my first time presenting to a C-level executive, in a meeting where the next junior person was still four positions above me. I managed to get through my spiel without tripping over my tongue, and answer a couple questions without sounding like a retard. I was feeling pretty confident I was going to make it out with my hide intact at this point.

As I'm wrapping up, the door opens and in walks one of the senior vice presidents from the NY office. He takes a seat at the other end of the table, makes a hand motion at me to pass over a copy of the deck, and promptly starts whispering to the guy next to him.

The next 5 seconds happened in slow motion - I watched in horror and anticipation as the deck I slide across the table slams into the guy's coffee cup, which spills all over his overpriced suit. There's absolute silence for a good twenty seconds as all conversation comes to a screeching halt. The man stares at his pants in disbelief, then looks me square in the eye, saying "Son, in 20 years of banking, I've never seen someone do something so stupid."

The first thing that popped in my mind was to say, "In 2 years of banking, I've never seen someone walk into a meeting 30 minutes late without an apology, treat the presenter like an assistant, and start talking to someone else."

http://dyn.ifilm.com/resize/image/stills/films/resize/istd/2795932.jpg

Instead, I apologized, asked if there were any more questions, and got the fuck out of Dodge.

WU TANG.

Thats pretty bad :). He definately had a right to give you shit. Doesnt matter when he comes to the meeting if he is an upper level manager. However, that shit happens, dont let it get you down. It was your first presentation to VPs and upper level management, sounds like the rest of it went well. Next time just walk over and hand it to him or have someone pass it down if you cant. Some old dude fell asleep one time during a sales presentation I was giving. Lesson learned: try to avoid after-lunch meetings. Especially if your audience is over 50.

[nocturnix]

I agree that what he said was totally out of line, but unfortunately you can't just mouth off (even if it's standing up for yourself) in most work situations like that without repercussions. I guess it could be considered insubordination or whatever. Can you even get unemployment if you're fired for insubordination?

Exactly. Shit like this happens in business, and when youre in the wrong you may need to take a verbal beating. Some people are understanding and chill, and some are duesches(sp). There is a time to stick up for yourself and not take crap, but a meeting setting with the VP/CEOs after you spilled coffee on one of them is absolutely NOT the place or the time to do so.

But it still is pretty funny, and you can always look back on it and laugh.

[Ignot]

I can't imagine anyone doing it during the meeting but not saying something one-on-one with the guy after the meeting makes you lose respect.

[Tea & Strumpets]

You should be passive aggressive and spill coffee on him the next time you two are in a meeting. Then raise one eyebrow and say "Oops?"

That's a quote from the book "How To Succeed in Corporate America".

[Stretch]

Bump.

Yesterday, my manager asked me to draft an apology e-mail and send it to him to read over before sending it off to the coffee pants guy.

I informed him that I already apologized to the guy in the meeting and told his assistant that I'd offer to pay for the dry cleaning. He insisted. I declined.

Today, I was pulled into a meeting to discuss a pattern of behavior where I haven't been a team player ever since I said I would quit for the 12340879th time a few months ago.

Long story short, I got tired of the bullshit, and in a few months I'm moving back to east bumfuck (read: Richmond) to work for the guy that originally recruited me out of college. I also probably got my bonus pwned.

[g++]

Bump.

Yesterday, my manager asked me to draft an apology e-mail and send it to him to read over before sending it off to the coffee pants guy.

I informed him that I already apologized to the guy in the meeting and told his assistant that I'd offer to pay for the dry cleaning. He insisted. I declined.

Today, I was pulled into a meeting to discuss a pattern of behavior where I haven't been a team player ever since I said I would quit for the 12340879th time a few months ago.

Long story short, I got tired of the bullshit, and in a few months I'm moving back to east bumfuck (read: Richmond) to work for the guy that originally recruited me out of college. I also probably got my bonus pwned.

Might be taking this all too seriously, they are gonna pull you into a meeting if you decline to do anything because its insubordination and their "I manage people" handbook says to not let it slide. The guys you think are out to get you were prolly asleep at their desks 20 minutes after they finished talking to you.

[diethx]

If you're sure you got a new job and it's totally secure, and you think it'll make you happier, i'd say you did the right thing.

[Ignot]

Bump.

Yesterday, my manager asked me to draft an apology e-mail and send it to him to read over before sending it off to the coffee pants guy.

I informed him that I already apologized to the guy in the meeting and told his assistant that I'd offer to pay for the dry cleaning. He insisted. I declined.

Today, I was pulled into a meeting to discuss a pattern of behavior where I haven't been a team player ever since I said I would quit for the 12340879th time a few months ago.

Long story short, I got tired of the bullshit, and in a few months I'm moving back to east bumfuck (read: Richmond) to work for the guy that originally recruited me out of college. I also probably got my bonus pwned.

I couldn't stand working for these douchebags and I will be glad if you leave with some dignity. You will be happier anyways. Nice that they wait until bonus time to drop this on you with clear intentions that you would quit, they really care about their employees. Writing an apology letter, LOL. Quit, find the douche and dump an entire coffee pot on his bulge.

[Danical]

Long story short . . .

And what's the Long Story?

Also, isn't moving back to Richmond what you wanted?