iJin
11-16-2008, 09:35 PM
Thought I'd share this story here. I wrote it this evening for the storytelling tonight on Fourwinds. The topic was: Hatred. I was also one of the three picked for winning. Got a nifty alter, but that wasn't as much of a gift as having Zuie share some personal grief. Which was a total first for her. Being the bottled-up Vaalorian that she is. Heh!
Note: It's told in Zuie's perspective, who follows Eorgina. So..yeah.
____
When I was but a mere child, I had no idea what my life was to become. I was destined to a path of darkness. Darkness that not many are brave enough to tread along. The Queen had called to me in my dreams, and I was born to answer her calls.
Therefore my so called.. "parents" would not stand for that. They were infatuated with the idea of salvation from Lumnis. So while I was still young, they abandoned me in the middle of the night on Fearling Pass. Knowing that I had no idea how to get around, or to have a way back to Solhaven.
I still remember how they left. Patting me on the head, telling me everything will be fine and that I'll be seeing them soon. Soon.. settled for one hundred years. And for those years, I was filled with an anger that seemed to engulf my heart and a hatred that took over my mind like a blistering fever. Upon much research I finally understood why they had to leave, but their actions couldn't be justified by that.
After so many years attempting to retain the pain and hurt inside -- so many years making apologies for their absurd choice -- I finally travelled back to Solhaven. Carrying nothing but the clothes on my back and my one dear falcata marked by the Queen herself. As soon as I arrived, I gazed up into the sky. Hued the color of a void and with not one star twinkling in the distance, the thunder roared and I knew what I had to do to set my life in order. From that day on, I've been the only De'Voyd alive, and will remain so for as long as I shall live.
That wasn't the first time that my personal beliefs have crushed a major part of me.
I was once engaged to a man, a man that I thought to myself as my personal Arkati. He had brought such joy, such simplicity into my complicated life. His hand seemed to melt perfectly against mine, and I thanked the Arkati for sending someone such as he to grace me. We spent several months together, growing more in love with every passing day. Until he found out that I had a new duty to serve to my Queen. He was..unpleased to say the least.
The horrid, slow days following our last argument left me with such uncertainty and a lingering thought that kept bringing me back to my childhood. Would he too leave me for the path that wasn't chosen for me?
Little did I know, my thoughts were right. I was up in the Tower of Lornon in Ta'Illistim. The night was freezingly cold and the wind was whipping my hair, stinging almost at my face. I leaned against the brickface ledge, and stared down into the forest, waiting for Him. "Hello Zuie." His tone was sharp enough as a dagger, and it pierced my gut as quickly as he spoke. "Your Queen is tearing us apart.." I understood what he meant. "So you have to pick Zuie, your wretched Queen or me."
How can someone ask such a question? To pick one's faith over someone you love? Now this could have been the death of me. I gazed at him with a sternful look, I couldn't risk letting him see how much this had hurt me. Growing impatient he asked that question again, and yet again making me wish I was elsewhere. Clenching my hands into a fist, I slammed them ontop of the cold brick ledge in anger. I heard a few crunching sounds, but I ignored it. This physical pain was nothing as what I was enduring deep inside my heart.
His velvet cloak rippled with the ice cold wind that blew against it, as he climbed down the velvet lined stairs. Leaving me ontop of the tower by myself, I stared at my hands as the bruising became apparent from the crushed bones inside of them. After cleaning my hands and healing them back to normal, I walked back to the ledge. As cold as a block of ice, I layed on top of it, hoping perhaps I'd fall into the forest below. At that moment, I realized that my heart will forever be broken and that I am destined to solitude for eternity.
So now when I see or hear strangers..friends..talk about differences between the Arkati and them having so much influence in their relationships; whether it is with family or someone who has stolen your heart.. I realize how the thought of that makes my heart beat faster in hatred, and I realize... that blood is never thicker than water, and they will both dissipate as quickly as they stained..
Note: It's told in Zuie's perspective, who follows Eorgina. So..yeah.
____
When I was but a mere child, I had no idea what my life was to become. I was destined to a path of darkness. Darkness that not many are brave enough to tread along. The Queen had called to me in my dreams, and I was born to answer her calls.
Therefore my so called.. "parents" would not stand for that. They were infatuated with the idea of salvation from Lumnis. So while I was still young, they abandoned me in the middle of the night on Fearling Pass. Knowing that I had no idea how to get around, or to have a way back to Solhaven.
I still remember how they left. Patting me on the head, telling me everything will be fine and that I'll be seeing them soon. Soon.. settled for one hundred years. And for those years, I was filled with an anger that seemed to engulf my heart and a hatred that took over my mind like a blistering fever. Upon much research I finally understood why they had to leave, but their actions couldn't be justified by that.
After so many years attempting to retain the pain and hurt inside -- so many years making apologies for their absurd choice -- I finally travelled back to Solhaven. Carrying nothing but the clothes on my back and my one dear falcata marked by the Queen herself. As soon as I arrived, I gazed up into the sky. Hued the color of a void and with not one star twinkling in the distance, the thunder roared and I knew what I had to do to set my life in order. From that day on, I've been the only De'Voyd alive, and will remain so for as long as I shall live.
That wasn't the first time that my personal beliefs have crushed a major part of me.
I was once engaged to a man, a man that I thought to myself as my personal Arkati. He had brought such joy, such simplicity into my complicated life. His hand seemed to melt perfectly against mine, and I thanked the Arkati for sending someone such as he to grace me. We spent several months together, growing more in love with every passing day. Until he found out that I had a new duty to serve to my Queen. He was..unpleased to say the least.
The horrid, slow days following our last argument left me with such uncertainty and a lingering thought that kept bringing me back to my childhood. Would he too leave me for the path that wasn't chosen for me?
Little did I know, my thoughts were right. I was up in the Tower of Lornon in Ta'Illistim. The night was freezingly cold and the wind was whipping my hair, stinging almost at my face. I leaned against the brickface ledge, and stared down into the forest, waiting for Him. "Hello Zuie." His tone was sharp enough as a dagger, and it pierced my gut as quickly as he spoke. "Your Queen is tearing us apart.." I understood what he meant. "So you have to pick Zuie, your wretched Queen or me."
How can someone ask such a question? To pick one's faith over someone you love? Now this could have been the death of me. I gazed at him with a sternful look, I couldn't risk letting him see how much this had hurt me. Growing impatient he asked that question again, and yet again making me wish I was elsewhere. Clenching my hands into a fist, I slammed them ontop of the cold brick ledge in anger. I heard a few crunching sounds, but I ignored it. This physical pain was nothing as what I was enduring deep inside my heart.
His velvet cloak rippled with the ice cold wind that blew against it, as he climbed down the velvet lined stairs. Leaving me ontop of the tower by myself, I stared at my hands as the bruising became apparent from the crushed bones inside of them. After cleaning my hands and healing them back to normal, I walked back to the ledge. As cold as a block of ice, I layed on top of it, hoping perhaps I'd fall into the forest below. At that moment, I realized that my heart will forever be broken and that I am destined to solitude for eternity.
So now when I see or hear strangers..friends..talk about differences between the Arkati and them having so much influence in their relationships; whether it is with family or someone who has stolen your heart.. I realize how the thought of that makes my heart beat faster in hatred, and I realize... that blood is never thicker than water, and they will both dissipate as quickly as they stained..