Poetry

[Moist Happenings]

I was talking to someone on AIM tonight and remembered some poems my very first girlfriend had written about me during a few years when I was uh..less than good a good boyfriend. Anyway, she's still got them up on her old website so I figured I'd share 'em. Figured somebody might get a kick out of them.

Early in the relationship:
http://www.freewebs.com/thepraetorianguard/YouChangeMe.gif

Mid relationship:
http://www.freewebs.com/thepraetorianguard/Untitled.gif

...End of relationship:
http://www.freewebs.com/thepraetorianguard/Chad.gif

The relationship lasted five years on and off, usually weekly.

Here's your chance to flame me without me getting pissed off and saying anything back!

Enjoy.

[Methais]

Your images got pwned.

[Moist Happenings]

They're not my images. She made them long ago before knowledge of photoshop was commonplace.

[Parkbandit]

You suck at posting images btw.

[Methais]

They're not my images. She made them long ago before knowledge of photoshop was commonplace.

Oh, sorry. Your linking of images got pwned. See?

I was talking to someone on AIM tonight and remembered some poems my very first girlfriend had written about me during a few years when I was uh..less than good a good boyfriend. Anyway, she's still got them up on her old website so I figured I'd share 'em. Figured somebody might get a kick out of them.

Early in the relationship:
http://www.angelfire.com/art/melly/poetry/YouChangeMe.gif

Mid relationship:
http://www.angelfire.com/art/melly/poetry/Untitled.gif

...End of relationship:
http://www.angelfire.com/art/melly/poetry/Chad.gif

The relationship lasted five years on and off, usually weekly.

Here's your chance to flame me without me getting pissed off and saying anything back!

Enjoy.

[Moist Happenings]

Oh, huh. weird. They show up fine for me. Uploading them to my freewebs server so they show up.

[iJin]

I saw them perfectly fine last night.

[Methais]

That's not all you saw last night.

[Moist Happenings]

Fi-ixed.

[Jorddyn]

Holy needy girlfriend, Batman.

[CrystalTears]

I'm officially scared. Holy crap.

[Moist Happenings]

Holy needy girlfriend, Batman.

In her defense I was studying diligently during that relationship to become a manipulative prick for college. At that point in my life I was giving as well as I was getting.

[Jorddyn]

In her defense I was studying diligently during that relationship to become a manipulative prick for college. At that point in my life I was giving as well as I was getting.

I don't doubt it. Doesn't change the fact that the beginning of relationship poetry reads ridiculously needy and quasi-suicidal, and the end of relationship poetry reads "I have someone new, I hate you (but I'd totally take you back so call me ok?)"

Plus, I believe that it takes someone messed up to allow themselves to be totally manipulated.

[Atlanteax]

Sounds like a typical high school girl?

[Moist Happenings]

I don't doubt it. Doesn't change the fact that the beginning of relationship poetry reads ridiculously needy and quasi-suicidal, and the end of relationship poetry reads "I have someone new, I hate you (but I'd totally take you back so call me ok?)"

Plus, I believe that it takes someone messed up to allow themselves to be totally manipulated.

Ah, well in that case you've got it absolutely right then. You've a very good judge of character, at least from that deduction. Three weeks after that end of relationship poem I visited her for her first week at PSU because she was scared to sleep alone (There was a rapist in the dorms just walking in and having his way with people at the time. Later he got caught and hung himself before trial). I wasn't going to school far from her so I drove out to stay with her. We did...things.. anyway, I get home and for about two days everything's fine, then she calls me up and she's all "I MISSED MY PERIOD", so naturally at that point in my life my initial reaction is *click*. I wasn't COMPLETELY coldhearted though so I called right back... Anyway, she's all worried, and I'm TERRIFIED, and she goes to check things out. I couldn't go out there again to see her because I had stuff I absolutely couldn't miss. About a week later I get the call from her, and I"m expecting "I got my period, everything's fine."

Instead I got:

"Joe has Herpes."

Response:

"WHO THE MOTHERFUCK IS JOE?!"

"My boyfriend"

"WELL THAT INFORMATION WOULD HAVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DANDY WHEN I WAS BOINKING YOU A FEW WEEKS AGO."


Long story short, Joe has herpes. Melissa doesn't have herpes. I don't have herpes. And I don't have a baby.

But yeah, we got together one last time a couple weeks after that "I HATE YOUR GUTS YOU SON OF A BITCH" poem.

[Liagala]

That first poem says "Hi, I have zero self esteem and am mentally unstable," which translates to "leave the emo chick alone" in normal language. How did you end up dating this girl again?

the end of relationship poetry reads "I have someone new, I hate you (but I'd totally take you back so call me ok?)"
:yeahthat:

Overal ex-girlfriend rating: Psycho.

[iJin]

Heh, fucking Methais. Haha.

[Methais]

Was she hot at least?

[Moist Happenings]

That first poem says "Hi, I have zero self esteem and am mentally unstable," which translates to "leave the emo chick alone" in normal language. How did you end up dating this girl again?


:yeahthat:

Overal ex-girlfriend rating: Psycho.

I was 13 and she was 12 and back then the word emo didn't exist and it was the tail end of the grunge era so it was totally COOL to be emo.

She definitely was psycho as an ex girlfriend. We dated on and off from 13-18, were at each other's throats til 21, stopped talking til 24, and now we're really good friends again. She's change, and I've changed. There's no more lingering sexual tension, and we're just good friends.

[Methais]

I was 13 and she was 12 and back then the word emo didn't exist and it was the tail end of the grunge era so it was totally COOL to be emo.

There was never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER a time when it was cool to be emo.

[Moist Happenings]

Was she hot at least?

My definition of hot is almost definitely different than yours. I have odd taste in girls, but I found her attractive.

She's French Canadian. Her father worked for the U.S. Government doing something or other, and they ended up living in Collegeville, PA.

She said "house" really cute, and spelled "color" wrong. It was awesome.

[Methais]

My definition of hot is almost definitely different than yours. I have odd taste in girls, but I found her attractive.

She's French Canadian. Her father worked for the U.S. Government doing something or other, and they ended up living in Collegeville, PA.

She said "house" really cute, and spelled "color" wrong. It was awesome.

Right. So was she hot?

[Moist Happenings]

1996 webcam photo for the win!

http://www.freewebs.com/thepraetorianguard/Mel.jpghttp://www.freewebs.com/thepraetorianguard/Mel.jpeg


http://www.freewebs.com/thepraetorianguard/Me.jpg

[Whimsi]

She's change, and I've changed. There's no more lingering sexual tension, and we're just good friends.

God save me from "good friends" like you. Tell me, did you get permission to repost her poems before you turned the PC loose on them?

[Moist Happenings]

God save me from "good friends" like you. Tell me, did you get permission to repost her poems before you turned the PC loose on them?

Yes. I asked her and she said she didn't care, and additionally..they're on the internet anyway. All I did initially was link them from her website.

[Whimsi]

Sure.

[Liagala]

I was 13 and she was 12 and back then the word emo didn't exist and it was the tail end of the grunge era so it was totally COOL to be emo.

Ok. This whole thing makes a lot more sense now. I thought it was an adult (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) writing the emo poem. A 12 year old is another story entirely. I have to agree with Methais on the "coolness" of emo though.

[Moist Happenings]

Ok. This whole thing makes a lot more sense now. I thought it was an adult (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) writing the emo poem. A 12 year old is another story entirely. I have to agree with Methais on the "coolness" of emo though.

Haha, yeah, okay. Point conceded there on the emo thing.

[Atlanteax]

I don't know who is F-ed up more...

the psycho girl or you for thinking it was ever actually cool to be emo.

[Methais]

1996 webcam photo for the win!

http://www.freewebs.com/thepraetorianguard/Mel.jpghttp://www.freewebs.com/thepraetorianguard/Mel.jpeg


http://www.freewebs.com/thepraetorianguard/Me.jpg

Not bad. I'd jailbait it.

[Whimsi]

Yes. I asked her and she said she didn't care, and additionally..they're on the internet anyway. All I did initially was link them from her website.

Well why not just give us the link itself so we can see the whole shebang? Since you pm'd it to me here: http://www.angelfire.com/art/melly/poetry.html

She does say: "All this stuff on here is MINE unless otherwise noted. Steal it and I'll beat you, I swear I will!".

Personally, I think you are secretly delighted to have bad poetry written about yourself. Grats.

[Moist Happenings]

Meh, the reason I didn't initially post the link is because this is the PC and if it was gonna get flamed I'd rather take the flame instead of having a bunch of hate mail sent to her inbox. I don't know if she checks that one anymore. I doubt it, but I didn't want to take the chance.

[Cephalopod]

Personally, I think you are secretly delighted to have bad poetry written about yourself. Grats.

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a189/CarrieSi/attention_whore3.jpg

[The Ponzzz]

I don't mingle well with crazy bitches. Just ask CT!

[CrystalTears]

I don't mingle well with crazy bitches. Just ask CT!
Honey, no one does. :)