View Full Version : I need your help
Moist Happenings
11-06-2008, 08:32 PM
to feel absolutely heartbroken and miserable. I figure the PC's probably pretty good at this. Heh.
This is a Gemstone relationship folder but I felt it the most appropriate for this topic, because what I need is inspiration right now, and inspiration in the form of true heartbreaking love and love lost stories. It's absolutely vital to my writing career that I get this segment I'm trying to write correct, and drawing from my own experiences is falling short. The problem is that I'm somewhat adorexic at times, and since my first real devastating relationship, the effect has been completely prevalent in my love life.
As many of you who write already know, your best writing comes when you can feel the scene, feel what your characters are feeling, hurt when they're hurting. I'm having trouble doing that right now. Any stories you could tell me to get me in the proper frame of mind would be really helpful, and I will be deeply indebted to you.
Note: If you absolutely feel the need to flame me here, go ahead and do so, but try to do so with the respect for the idea that anything you can say here will absolutely be taken to heart at the moment. It's impossible to steel yourself to one feeling and open yourself completely to another. In fact, if you absolutely must do it in the thread, I'll understand, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep flames to my mailbox so I can read them later when I'm not trying to get into the proper frame of mind for this piece. Thank you.
Stretch
11-06-2008, 08:54 PM
Why not. Here's a very long-winded story about a first love that started in first grade that I haven't been able to forget to this day.
I went to elementary school about a half mile from where I grew up. It was during recess one day in fall of 1990 that I met Hanna for the first time, although I didn't learn her name until later. She was sitting on the jungle gym next to another girl, and while playing 'Ninja Turtles' with the other guys in the class, I kicked her knee because someone decided all girls were foot soldiers.
Not the most remarkable first meeting. A few months passed by, when I saw my dad in the lobby area one afternoon talking to a Korean lady while waiting to pick me up. It turned out to be Hanna's mom; they lived literally three blocks down the road from us. Our families started depending on one another to watch each other's kids, and from then on Hanna, my brother, and I were inseparable.
We picked blackberries together in the forest, caught dragon flies, and played in the pool during the summer. We slept over at each other's house all the time. It never really occurred to me at first that Hanna was a girl, but by the time we were in third grade we were a de facto couple; where one was, the other couldn't be far away. We knew everything about each other, from who her favorite wish troll was and how she would always pick off the edges of her Pop Tart before eating it, down to the number of times she chewed each bite.
Hanna and I shared a lot of firsts. She was the first girl I held hands with, hugged, kissed, and loved. I was only 9 years old at the time, but I was sure that we would be married some day.
In spring of 1994, Hanna drowned while visiting her grandparents in Korea. I never got to say goodbye; my last memory of her was her waving cheerfully as her mom picked her up from my house to take her to gymnastics practice. I was 9 years old, completely numb, and I didn't know what to do for the next several days. I didn't feel like watching TV or playing outside, or going to school. I kept waiting for my parents to tell me this didn't really happen, but they never did.
After the service, I sat by her headstone for a long time, while my parents waited in the car. I didn't know what to say, but I kept remembering her bright smile, and the way that her left cheek would dimple whenever she was happy. I finally realized that all I had to do was cry.
You'll always be my first love, Hanna.
Nieninque
11-06-2008, 08:56 PM
LAWL
Stanley Burrell
11-06-2008, 09:09 PM
to feel absolutely heartbroken and miserable. I figure the PC's probably pretty good at this. Heh.
This is a Gemstone relationship folder but I felt it the most appropriate for this topic, because what I need is inspiration right now, and inspiration in the form of true heartbreaking love and love lost stories. It's absolutely vital to my writing career that I get this segment I'm trying to write correct, and drawing from my own experiences is falling short. The problem is that I'm somewhat adorexic at times, and since my first real devastating relationship, the effect has been completely prevalent in my love life.
As many of you who write already know, your best writing comes when you can feel the scene, feel what your characters are feeling, hurt when they're hurting. I'm having trouble doing that right now. Any stories you could tell me to get me in the proper frame of mind would be really helpful, and I will be deeply indebted to you.
Note: If you absolutely feel the need to flame me here, go ahead and do so, but try to do so with the respect for the idea that anything you can say here will absolutely be taken to heart at the moment. It's impossible to steel yourself to one feeling and open yourself completely to another. In fact, if you absolutely must do it in the thread, I'll understand, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep flames to my mailbox so I can read them later when I'm not trying to get into the proper frame of mind for this piece. Thank you.
Can't you just sort of wax poetic? With an emo twist. Without having to actually be over-emotionally melancholic or something?
I wonder if all the great authors have to deliberately put themselves into a suicidal stupor to develop plot twists in their publications. That would be sort of cool, I guess.
Like, I have to make the protagonist die: Someone slaughter a child in front of my face.
Envision.... a one-legged spotted puppy limping around a room full of fat people. Or the ice caps melting.
Moist Happenings
11-06-2008, 09:21 PM
Hemingway did his best writing in a drunken stupor.
I do my best writing in the same feel as the scene. Yes, I could write it without feeling it, and I do that on occasion, but never ever for a pivotal scene, and never for a scene that is absolutely key to grabbing a demographic. I heavily rely on character inner monologue, and my first attempt at the female side was so absolutely twisted and wrong that my agent forced me to read sleazy Danielle Steele novels until I got the idea pounded into my head.
Some of those things you listed are workable tools Stanley, but for the really important parts, which this one certainly qualifies as, I have to really get into it.
Stretch, that is an amazing story, and absolutely terrible, and it's exactly the sort of thing I need. I am so sorry. Thank you so much for sharing that.
Sean of the Thread
11-06-2008, 09:40 PM
Neff hit up a strip club all will be good.
diethx
11-06-2008, 09:45 PM
LAWL
Seriously.
Moist Happenings
11-06-2008, 10:14 PM
Seriously.
Sigh. Well if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
I was looking through my wedding albums, and I forget. Is this from your wedding, or Nieninque's?
http://www.no-clutter.com/gallery/albums/motivational/delicious_cake.jpg
Allereli
11-06-2008, 10:59 PM
figures the usual people wouuld be assholes. I'll send you a story, Neff.
Nieninque
11-06-2008, 11:43 PM
Sigh. Well if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
I was looking through my wedding albums, and I forget. Is this from your wedding, or Nieninque's?
ROFL...
From "I'm a sad case" to "U R FAT"
Awesome thread.
Athgo
11-07-2008, 12:22 AM
You should have watched Grey's Anatomy tonight. There was a storyline involving an elderly married couple that would have been similar to what you are looking for.
Moist Happenings
11-07-2008, 12:23 AM
I'll download it tomorrow if it's available by then. Thankya much, Athgo.
Athgo
11-07-2008, 12:23 AM
Welcome, you may be able to catch it on ABC.com, I know you can watch full episodes for free.
Sean of the Thread
11-07-2008, 02:17 AM
And I thought my life was bad atm.
diethx
11-07-2008, 02:18 AM
ROFL...
From "I'm a sad case" to "U R FAT"
Awesome thread.
Double seriously.
AnticorRifling
11-07-2008, 09:32 AM
The best writers write what they know, but since I don't know shit and there is no way I'm going to be the best can I please have your experience so I can pretend.
Fail request is fail.
figures the usual people wouuld be assholes. I'll send you a story, Neff.
Yeah I don't get it either, he asked them to send it in a PM, I guess by saying "LAWL" outloud or "seriously" by agreeing with it, they want everyone to know what they think.
Mighty Nikkisaurus
11-07-2008, 10:23 AM
to feel absolutely heartbroken and miserable. I figure the PC's probably pretty good at this. Heh.
This is a Gemstone relationship folder but I felt it the most appropriate for this topic, because what I need is inspiration right now, and inspiration in the form of true heartbreaking love and love lost stories. It's absolutely vital to my writing career that I get this segment I'm trying to write correct, and drawing from my own experiences is falling short. The problem is that I'm somewhat adorexic at times, and since my first real devastating relationship, the effect has been completely prevalent in my love life.
As many of you who write already know, your best writing comes when you can feel the scene, feel what your characters are feeling, hurt when they're hurting. I'm having trouble doing that right now. Any stories you could tell me to get me in the proper frame of mind would be really helpful, and I will be deeply indebted to you.
Note: If you absolutely feel the need to flame me here, go ahead and do so, but try to do so with the respect for the idea that anything you can say here will absolutely be taken to heart at the moment. It's impossible to steel yourself to one feeling and open yourself completely to another. In fact, if you absolutely must do it in the thread, I'll understand, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep flames to my mailbox so I can read them later when I'm not trying to get into the proper frame of mind for this piece. Thank you.
I'll either post a story here or send one to you via PM. :)
Nieninque
11-07-2008, 12:20 PM
Yeah I don't get it either, he asked them to send it in a PM, I guess by saying "LAWL" outloud or "seriously" by agreeing with it, they want everyone to know what they think.
I didn't say it out loud. I typed it and posted it.
QQ more.
Neff,
If you need someone to use as a sounding board. Send me a PM. I am sure I can come up with a few stories of lost loves for you,(if you still need that), or perhaps find away to unlock the block there. Sounds as if you have a lot of help already though.
Moist Happenings
11-07-2008, 02:05 PM
Yeah, Rue, I have gotten a lot of really good help between last night and today. People have really opened up to me and told me some very personal, very heartbreaking stories. They've been very inspirational to me even beyond getting me in the correct mood to write. If I can, I may even be creating a few characters at some point down the line to honor some of the people in a few of these stories.
I just want to say thank you so much you guys for your help. I really appreciate it.
Mighty Nikkisaurus
11-07-2008, 02:07 PM
I'll either post a story here or send one to you via PM. :)
As promised:
She had talked about doing it, sure. Yet he had always convinced her why she shouldn't. Two little children who need her, a husband that loves her, rapidly expanding medical knowledge that may mean someday there would be a drug besides Lithium.. a drug that actually worked for her instead of making her violently ill.
Once she threatened to blow her brains out-- he locked up his guns and told her that she would make a horrible mess if she did that. She was a notorious neat freak. She laughed, "Yeah, I guess you're right."
Another time she swallowed a bunch of pills, but told him right after. He rushed her to the hospital where her stomach was pumped. When she got back home, the medicine cabinet was locked and only he had the key.
When he went to work one day in September, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He waited for her to get back from walking their first-grader son to the bus stop, kissed her goodbye, and left. She was watching their three year old daughter, as usual.
Then he came home.
Two children who needed her, and would never have her. A husband that loved her, and yet would never be able to save her, let alone tell her goodbye. Medications that came, but years and years too late.
He didn't need to ask why. He knew why.
And yet, two decades later, he tells his now grown-up daughter over dinner.. "The day she died, I did too."
Moist Happenings
11-07-2008, 02:10 PM
Thank you Narcissia. That's exactly the sort of thing I need. I really appreciate you telling me that. Right at the moment though I'm not writing, but later tonight it's gonna be great. :)
Ignot
11-07-2008, 02:58 PM
I'm no writer but here's one from my life experiences:
A young girl lies down with two young boys at her feet hiding under the numerous desks scattered about the room. It's nap time and silence is necessary as not to entice the dreaded teacher with rage. Two boys wide awake and a young girl who was learning about herself.
She lifted her skirt and in the softest voice spoke "look what I have?"
The two boys glanced up and saw for the first time in their lives the beauty that is the vagina. The boys gazed in wonderment unable to really grasp what they were being exposed to. As if by some instinct one boy quietly whispered to the girl.
"can I touch it?"
The second boy said, "eeww, I want to too."
After a few short giggles from all three children they quickly silenced themselves as fear of provoking the teacher. Shy yet confident the young girl replies, "okay."
The two both reluctant and excited reached towards it with their index fingers and touched their first vagina. Two boys experiencing such a milestone for the first time. Their fingers only laid on the young girl for but a second but it seemed like a lifetime for the young boys.
the second boy, obviously confused aqnd excited shouted, "EEEWWWW!!"
Thus, enticing the teachers anger.
"What's going on!? I want you two boys separated at once!" exclaimed the vile teacher.
The young girl covered herself and the two boys rolled away to different parts of the room. With the young boy having experienced something unique, he quietly drifted to sleep.
~FIN
DaCapn
11-07-2008, 07:01 PM
I'm no writer but here's one from my life experiences:
...
~FIN
Some very vivid imagery here. The teacher was a very powerful device to portray the imposition of societal standards and norms. The gender ambiguity of the teacher leaves the reader with so many questions. A truly elegantly written piece.
Euler
11-07-2008, 07:47 PM
My daughter had a rough one. She is used to death. I run a funeral parlor, so death has always been a part of her life. My wife, her mother, died when she was born. She was a beautiful, if quirky, little girl. She started hanging around with a young boy who moved into the neighborhood. He was kind of bookish. He was allergic to everything it seemed. They got close. They kind of dated in an innocent small town wholesome way. Long story short, while they were out on some adventure or another, my daughter lost my wife's ring, the one keepsake of her mother that she truly cared about. The boy snuck out to try and find it, and in the process was stung when he broke a bee hive. He died from an alergic reaction.
Terrible.
Everytime someone posts a movie plot, I crack up. (sorry)
Feel free to PM me if you are having the dreaded 'writer's block'.
Moist Happenings
11-07-2008, 07:52 PM
My daughter had a rough one. She is used to death. I run a funeral parlor, so death has always been a part of her life. My wife, her mother, died when she was born. She was a beautiful, if quirky, little girl. She started hanging around with a young boy who moved into the neighborhood. He was kind of bookish. He was allergic to everything it seemed. They got close. They kind of dated in an innocent small town wholesome way. Long story short, while they were out on some adventure or another, my daughter lost my wife's ring, the one keepsake of her mother that she truly cared about. The boy snuck out to try and find it, and in the process was stung when he broke a bee hive. He died from an alergic reaction.
Terrible.
....Isn't that the plot from the movie My Girl?
Additionally:
I'm not having writer's block. Last night I turned out like 35 pages. Prolly only keep like 5 in the end, but my motivation for the setting of the mood for it was to churn out a better quality end product. Later tonight I'll probably try for the same thing using some of the stories I've been told in PMs, IMs, and here in the thread.
diethx
11-07-2008, 08:02 PM
My daughter had a rough one. She is used to death. I run a funeral parlor, so death has always been a part of her life. My wife, her mother, died when she was born. She was a beautiful, if quirky, little girl. She started hanging around with a young boy who moved into the neighborhood. He was kind of bookish. He was allergic to everything it seemed. They got close. They kind of dated in an innocent small town wholesome way. Long story short, while they were out on some adventure or another, my daughter lost my wife's ring, the one keepsake of her mother that she truly cared about. The boy snuck out to try and find it, and in the process was stung when he broke a bee hive. He died from an alergic reaction.
Terrible.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Stanley Burrell
11-07-2008, 08:05 PM
My daughter had a rough one. She is used to death. I run a funeral parlor, so death has always been a part of her life. My wife, her mother, died when she was born. She was a beautiful, if quirky, little girl. She started hanging around with a young boy who moved into the neighborhood. He was kind of bookish. He was allergic to everything it seemed. They got close. They kind of dated in an innocent small town wholesome way. Long story short, while they were out on some adventure or another, my daughter lost my wife's ring, the one keepsake of her mother that she truly cared about. The boy snuck out to try and find it, and in the process was stung when he broke a bee hive. He died from an alergic reaction.
Terrible.
I need to read people's posts more often.
slim427
11-08-2008, 03:23 AM
Just thought Neff should know, I googled adorexic as it is not a term I've heard before. This discussion was about the 6th response google brought up, apparently its not something that's widely used. Thanks for the education.
Moist Happenings
11-08-2008, 04:19 AM
It's a term coined, well, not so widely in ancient Greek philosophical teachings. I don't remember specifically which, though now my own curiosity is piqued so I might break out the books. Basically it means to give way to the natural course of things without worry, fear, or regret weighing on your emotions. Some of the greatest and worst leaders in the world, some of the best authors, poets, and thinkers have had some level of Adorexia affecting them. On the other side of the coin, so have some of the most notorious serial killers. To my knowledge it's not really medically considered anything. It's more a state of mind.
My heart can't be broken anymore. I can love, and I can be loved, but if someone I love were to die a horrible death ten minutes after I had a fight with them (which in itself is unlikely due to adorexia), I'd have just about as much chance to not feel any pain at all as I would to cry. Maybe I'd do both. It's very difficult to explain, kinda like craic is, if you're interested in rarely heard words. Heh.
Moist Happenings
11-08-2008, 04:43 AM
I can't edit my post for some reason, but I wanted to add this:
It's an encyclopedic reference I found online.
Ataraxia (Adorexia) (Ἀταραξία) is a Greek term used by Pyrrho and Epicurus for a limpid state, characterized by freedom from worry or any other preoccupation.
For the Epicureans, ataraxia was synonymous with the only true happiness possible for a person. It signifies the detached and balanced state of mind that shows that a person has transcended the material world and is now harvesting all the comforts of philosophy.
For the Pyrrhonians, owing to one's inability to say which sense impressions are true and which ones are false, it is a pleasant place that arises from suspending judgment on dogmatic beliefs or anything non-evident and continuing to inquire. The experience was said to have fallen on the painter Apelles who was trying to paint the foam of a horse. He tried and failed so many times that in a rage he threw a sponge he was cleaning his brushes with at the medium and thus produced the effect of the horse's foam.
Moist Happenings
11-08-2008, 05:43 AM
Sigh. Still can't edit. I wanted to add:
Additionally I'm seeing more and more as I go through references that the preferred spelling is "Ataraxia" or "Ataraxic", so maybe I should switch to using that. Apparently someone tried to bring the word into the English language in the 1600s but it didn't stick, and it was only recently added in the early 1900s for use in medical texts.
slim427
11-08-2008, 03:09 PM
Well, its the 2000s now so maybe its time has come. I'm in the medical field and I'm going to start using it all the time. The adorexic revival.
Moist Happenings
11-08-2008, 04:43 PM
Well, its the 2000s now so maybe its time has come. I'm in the medical field and I'm going to start using it all the time. The adorexic revival.
For the medical field from what I'm reading it is used, apparently for a drug induced zombie-like condition. Revive it for the true meaning though!
wood1559
11-10-2008, 05:27 PM
I've always found that music helps me write.
Try "The Paris Match" from the album Cafe Bleu by The Style Council.
Nieninque
11-10-2008, 05:34 PM
Ugh...that was way past Weller's sell-by date.
wood1559
11-10-2008, 06:11 PM
Ugh...that was way past Weller's sell-by date.
I know, I know, nothing after The Jam... Try telling that to a love-sick teen. :)
Moist Happenings
11-11-2008, 07:19 PM
to feel absolutely heartbroken and miserable. I figure the PC's probably pretty good at this. Heh.
This is a Gemstone relationship folder but I felt it the most appropriate for this topic, because what I need is inspiration right now, and inspiration in the form of true heartbreaking love and love lost stories. It's absolutely vital to my writing career that I get this segment I'm trying to write correct, and drawing from my own experiences is falling short. The problem is that I'm somewhat adorexic at times, and since my first real devastating relationship, the effect has been completely prevalent in my love life.
As many of you who write already know, your best writing comes when you can feel the scene, feel what your characters are feeling, hurt when they're hurting. I'm having trouble doing that right now. Any stories you could tell me to get me in the proper frame of mind would be really helpful, and I will be deeply indebted to you.
Note: If you absolutely feel the need to flame me here, go ahead and do so, but try to do so with the respect for the idea that anything you can say here will absolutely be taken to heart at the moment. It's impossible to steel yourself to one feeling and open yourself completely to another. In fact, if you absolutely must do it in the thread, I'll understand, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep flames to my mailbox so I can read them later when I'm not trying to get into the proper frame of mind for this piece. Thank you.
You started another thread for other people's experiences so that you could pass that off as your own writing.
I'm pretty sure this post says that I'm looking to get into the right frame of mind to write a segment I already had planned.
I've now written that segment, and it incorporates absolutely nothing from any of the stories I got in this thread, in IMs, or in PMs. The stories I got, as I specifically stated several times, were to get me in the right frame of mind to write the segment. It worked perfectly, and I'd like to say thank you again to everybody that helped out.
Would you like to take another stab at it?
Nieninque
11-11-2008, 07:27 PM
I know, I know, nothing after The Jam... Try telling that to a love-sick teen. :)
To be honest, I liked the early style council stuff too. Speak Like A Child is one of my all-time favourite songs. Solid Bond was written for the Jam but wasnt used as their final song, Beat Surrender was. Good choice methinks, although I liked solid bond with TSC did it.
I met Paul Weller at a party in Bath a few years back. Had a good old chat with him about pretty much most things while my friend sat open mouthed at the fact that I was talking to Paul Weller.
He was a bit of a twat really. Shattered all my illusions about how down to earth and sound he was. He was a showbiz whore.
wood1559
11-17-2008, 01:56 PM
He was a bit of a twat really. Shattered all my illusions about how down to earth and sound he was. He was a showbiz whore.
that's too bad.
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