Marriage

[Stretch]

A girl that I dated during my last year of college and the first year I was out recently lost her job during the fallout at Lehman Brothers.

She's incredibly smart and talented, so I don't have any doubt that she'll be able to find another job soon. We have a pretty good relationship even though we aren't dating anymore (i.e., she calls me whenever she has a problem, and I can't say no to her because I'm a weak, weak man).

The issue - she's here on a work visa, and hadn't yet started the process to get her green card. Long story short, there is an outside chance that her only option to stay in the country is to get married. We talked REALLY briefly about it.

Like I said, there's almost no way it would come to it with someone of her calibre. And every way I think about it, I can't see anything good coming out of getting married for that reason, primarily because even though there are still feelings there the underlying issues haven't changed.

But I also get the feeling that I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Someone drive to NOVA and kick me in the nuts, please.

[Allereli]

Someone drive to NOVA and kick me in the nuts, please.

I don't have to drive far

edit: just come out saturday night and I'll kick them there. Rob likes kicking people in the nuts, too

[Kitsun]

Pics and we'll make a decision for you?

I only post this because someone else will later so I might as well ask now.

[Trouble]

The issue - she's here on a work visa, and hadn't yet started the process to get her green card. Long story short, there is an outside chance that her only option to stay in the country is to get married. We talked REALLY briefly about it.

Someone drive to NOVA and kick me in the nuts, please.

What is her home country?

I think you'd be fine as long as you have a rock-solid pre-nup and she isn't from one of the 'bad' countries.

We'll kick ya Sat night in DC, if you have the fortitude to show up...

[NocturnalRob]

I don't have to drive far

edit: just come out saturday night and I'll kick them there. Rob likes kicking people in the nuts, too

dude, fucking present them. soccer for over 20 years. i'll kick a lifetime supply of sperm out of your nuts...

but seriously, come out on saturday. at the very least i'll get you so drunk that you'll die. then you won't even have to make a choice!

[Skeeter]

I imagine it would go something like this....

http://teft.mimiandteft.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/kicknut.jpg

[Sean of the Thread]

Co dependency sucks.

[Tisket]

I always thought Vinh was intelligent...

[ViridianAsp]

All I have to say is:

Don't do it. Don't, don't don't. Because if you do, you'll only be making yourself miserable when she says, "Hey thanks for the marriage." and doesn't give you a second thought, not that I'm saying it would be like that, but it will probably happen in a round about way.

[Moist Happenings]

I agree with Viridian. In your particular situation you're only going to bring yourself hurt, especially when you see her going off and dating other guys if you two treat the marriage the way it should be treated in this situation: as a business deal.

Aside from that, there's nothing wrong with doing it to circumvent her having to leave as long as you know you can trust her. A pre-nup will cover your ass legally in any case.

[Tisket]

It's a stupid idea any way you look at it. She can still be deported. Not only that but you can get in legal hot water yourself. Seriously, consult a reputable immigration attorney...not a message board.

[Sean of the Thread]

I'm so confused.

I thought stretch was gay.

[Ignot]

Yeah but if you do go through with it then she owes you some awesome sex. Think about that...umhmmm.

[Moist Happenings]

Yeah but if you do go through with it then she owes you some awesome sex. Think about that...umhmmm.

Um, I'm pretty sure you got it backwards. When you get married you stop having sex.

My advice: Get the sex up front. Or get one of those sex contract things like on Doctor Phil! (Did anybody see that? That was hilarious)

[Sean of the Thread]

Fuck it. Do it and then take half your money in a quick divorce you poor ass.

[Ignot]

My advice: Get the sex up front. Or get one of those sex contract things like on Doctor Phil! (Did anybody see that? That was hilarious)

:yeahthat: wait, what? they have freakin sex contracts?

[Moist Happenings]

:yeahthat: wait, what? they have freakin sex contracts?

Haha, yeah. I was coming home from work one day, must have been three years ago, and my brother in law was watching Doctor Phil. He runs outside as soon as he hears my car, foaming at the mouth and screaming that he needs a sex contract with my sister like on the show.

Unfortunately the television we had then was not made of magic like the one I have now, so I couldn't rewind it, but the general idea is that the wife cried to Doctor Phil that her husband made her sign a sex contract that guaranteed him 3 sexes per week plus two acts to be named separately every weekend.

Doctor Phil said that the sex contract was bad. I submit that Doctor Phil is BAD.

[Sean of the Thread]

Perverts

[Allereli]

Haha, yeah. I was coming home from work one day, must have been three years ago, and my brother in law was watching Doctor Phil. He runs outside as soon as he hears my car, foaming at the mouth and screaming that he needs a sex contract with my sister like on the show.

You let him talk about your sister like that?

[Tea & Strumpets]

You let him talk about your sister like that?

Don't talk about your wife that way!!! <insert punch in the face>

[Daniel]

Lol. Wtf. How is this even a question?

You seriously need to not be a douche and come out saturday

[NocturnalRob]

and bring this slutty desperate immigrant so someone can make a bad drunken decision

[Gan]

Yeah but if you do go through with it then she owes you some awesome sex. Think about that...umhmmm.

Word

Like she should greet you at the door naked every day you come home from work. She should even bring over a few of her girlfriends on Saturdays.

This is like the perfect blank check.

[Moist Happenings]

You let him talk about your sister like that?

Meh. The three of us have a good enough relationship that it was alright. He was joking really. Also she's kind of a bitch so the fact that he can put up with her is good enough for me.