Women: I don't get it.

[Moist Happenings]

Okay, I was having a discussion with a couple of the secretaries at the company I used to work for the other day, and somehow we got on the subject of gynecology. As the only male in the conversation, I was unable to thwart the onset of this tangent. Anyway, they all agreed on something that absolutely shocked me, because I thought it would be the opposite. They said that they preferred a male gynecologist, reason being they didn't want some other woman messing around with their junk. Now I can understand why a man would want a female doctor for any messing around with the junk, but women, enigmas as they are, made me think that they'd probably prefer someone of the same sex to do it just so that sexual aspect isn't there.

Firstly, I've created a handy poll here to see if the women I was talking to were the exception to the rule or if this is the norm. Secondly, if it is the norm, gimme some insight on why. Like I said, it shocked me.

In conclusion, I get a bad cold every time the seasons change, and I'm right in the middle of it now. I've had about a bottle of cough syrup, and yes, my thinking organ is a bit on the off side as a result. This is what's on my mind right now because I can't sleep. End explanation.

[ElanthianSiren]

This isn't going to help you, but I despise specialists, and I still go to my family doctor for everything from gyno to hemaglobin A1Cs, to other endocrine things. I feel I get straighter answers from him than specialists (and trust me, I've seen my share).

IMO it's more important that the doctor not give you the creep out vibes (my first endo went so far as to walk into my hospital room on our first meeting and do a gown check -- he got fired quickly), be accredited, be willing to listen to you, and know wtf they're talking about. You should hear some of the debates I've gotten into with dieticians over the years about why it's okay to prescribe that diabetics eat no sugar, but we're going to say they should eat white starch. But I digress.

The sex of the person isn't important to me as long as they're not creepy, accredited, willing to listen open mindedly, and know wtf they're talking about.

[Moist Happenings]

This isn't going to help you, but I despise specialists, and I still go to my family doctor for everything from gyno to hemaglobin A1Cs, to other endocrine things. I feel I get straighter answers from him than specialists (and trust me, I've seen my share).

IMO it's more important that the doctor not give you the creep out vibes (my first endo went so far as to walk into my hospital room on our first meeting and do a gown check -- he got fired quickly), be accredited, be willing to listen to you, and know wtf they're talking about. You should hear some of the debates I've gotten into with dieticians over the years about why it's okay to prescribe that diabetics eat no sugar, but we're going to say they should eat white starch. But I digress.

The sex of the person isn't important to me as long as they're not creepy, accredited, willing to listen open mindedly, and know wtf they're talking about.

It's in my book.

You officially get:

-10 Woman-ish crazy points
+10 Awesome points.

In other words, that makes a lot of sense to me. If only the secretaries I was talking to were so smart.

For anyone interested, Tayre still has the lead for most woman-ish crazy points ever accrued.

[Drew2]

rofl <3 Neff

[Clove]

So basically ES is comfortable spreading her legs for either sex?

[CrystalTears]

I actually prefer women, but it could be due to my past experiences with male doctors and not being comfortable with them. It could have been just them personally, or their sex, I'm not sure. But I've had the same general doctor/gyno for the past 8 years and I adore her. Even her partner who takes over when she's on vacation is fantastic.

[Parkbandit]

My wife goes to a lesbian Gyno.

[Nieninque]

In other words, that makes a lot of sense to me. If only the secretaries I was talking to were so smart.

You are no judge of smart.
And if we are talking about personal preference, there is no right or wrong answer.
Take the stick out of your arse and accept that you know shit. life will be far more tolerable for you once you reach that point.

[NocturnalRob]

You are no judge of smart. The IRA is bad, and I hate you.

fixed

[MotleyCrew]

Female, definately...they know wtf I am talking about.

[DeV]

The sex of the person isn't important to me as long as they're not creepy, accredited, willing to listen open mindedly, and know wtf they're talking about.
Agreed. My first gynecologist had a pretty much non-existent bedside manner. That's a huge minus when it comes to gynecology, I mean, wtf.

I quickly switched to a female who came with excellent references. However, I wouldn't rule out a male doctor with the same qualities as my current. One bad apple isn't going to spoil the bunch when it comes to my health and well being.

[DCSL]

I prefer someone with a no-nonsense approach. Don't make jokes, don't try to be my friend, just make sure everything's in working order and we're done. I don't need or want to be set at ease with small talk. So really, I accept either gender, so long as they have a certain.. sterile manner.

[Daniel]

What I don't get is why you are trying to understand women.

[Clove]

I prefer someone with a no-nonsense approach. Don't make jokes, don't try to be my friend, just make sure everything's in working order and we're done. I don't need or want to be set at ease with small talk. So really, I accept either gender, so long as they have a certain.. sterile manner.Well hell, I can make sure everything's in working order for ya...

[NocturnalRob]

Well hell, I can make sure everything's in working order for ya...

well, you got the sterile part down

[Gan]

fixed

ROFL

[NocturnalRob]

ROFL

hahaha...double zingaaaah

[ElanthianSiren]

So basically ES is comfortable spreading her legs for either sex?

sure, as long as they let me play with the speculum. Those things are so much damn fun.

[NocturnalRob]

sure, as long as they let me play with the speculum. Those things are so much damn fun.

and comfortable...you know, from what i hear

[BriarFox]

I'm waiting for the woman who believes that only a male doctor could be competent enough to examine her to chime in. Ironic misogyny ftw.

[ElanthianSiren]

and comfortable...you know, from what i hear

volunteering to test one out?

[Tisket]

My worst exam was at the hands of a female physician. That's not to say I haven't had good experiences with other female doctors just that she was not so gentle. My current doctor is a male but I didn't choose him based on his gender but because friends recommended him to me. He's wonderful.

[CrystalTears]

I once went to a male doctor named Dr. Lucky because he was the only one in my area that would 1) take new patients, 2) take my crappy insurance.

He took a little too long with the examination than I cared for. Kept pausing to stare and say hmm.

There's nothing wrong with me, motherfucker! I just came here to get a birth control prescription! Let's get on with it!

I don't have a problem with male doctors in general as prior to him I only had male doctors. I'm just finding I prefer female ones now.

[Some Rogue]

Sounds Lucky to me alright. :D

[CrystalTears]

Yeah the name alone should have tipped me off, but I was in dire need of medication damnit! Focus!

[Moist Happenings]

What I don't get is why you are trying to understand women.

Drink almost en entire bottle of Robitussin over the course of four or five hours and you'll do all sorts of crazy shit.

On topic though I think the poll and the answers here safely state that the girls I was talking to are crazysauce. Most of what I see is that it's more based on qualifications than it is gender, which I think is how it should be.

[CrystalTears]

I don't know what kind of girls you were speaking with, but here you're speaking with girls who are already out of the ordinary with open minds because of the gaming aspect. So I wouldn't automatically pin their opinion/preference of male doctors as crazy*.

*Although most women are so there goes my theory.

[Sean of the Thread]

It's just a vagina what's the big deal.

[Some Rogue]

Well according to the thread title, he ain't getting any of it so it is a big deal. Hehe.

[Allereli]

It's just a vagina what's the big deal.

If there was a vagina picture thread, I highly doubt there would be any takers

[crazymage]

I think ES should let us all give her a gown check.

[Clove]

If there was a vagina picture thread, I highly doubt there would be any takersThere already has been.

Gee. Where would we find a woman willing to flash a beaver?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I'll chime in.

I only want male doctors. Give me a female doctor and I'll ask for a switch- this is especially true for the gyno.

Two reasons, first is that I like men more. I understand men better and get along with them better, so I prefer them because I just feel more comfortable around them. Second, at one point in my life I had an emergency where I went in to see my Nurse midwife and not only was she a callous bitch incapable of offering empathy instead of judgment, she sent me home only for me to nearly hemorrhage to death a half hour later. Then in the ensuing court battle I got to go testify day after day against her and her "defense" which was to pretty much make my personal character look akin to Satan's.

Yup, no female gynos (or doctors) for me. The male doctors I've had have always been courteous and I feel like because they themselves don't have my "junk" and can't go through exactly what I'm going through, they err to the side of being more empathetic than usual rather than not empathetic enough (i.e. not going to tell me to just "suck it up" or "it's not that bad".)

[CrystalTears]

Just goes to show you how everyone's experiences with doctor genders differ, as female doctors have always been empathetic with me and even chime in with feelings of their own and men have been "eh" with me.

[Clove]

Just goes to show you how everyone's experiences with doctor genders differ, as female doctors have always been empathetic with me and even chime in with feelings of their own and men have been "eh" with me.I don't know I think I would chime in with feelings of my own with you or Narc.

[CrystalTears]

Shush you.

[diethx]

Doesn't matter either way to me, so long as they act appropriately and I feel comfortable with them.

My first gyno was a guy and he was great, and I stuck with him for years. When I moved south I didn't have one for the first year and a half, and then when I started at my current school, I began using the health clinic on campus (since I didn't and still don't have insurance). The nurses there are all women and all excellent, and I feel totally comfortable with them.

[TheRunt]

I'm waiting for the woman who believes that only a male doctor could be competent enough to examine her to chime in. Ironic misogyny ftw.

Well most male Dr have more experience with different women vaginas then females. Unless there lesbians. But if there lesbians I want to watch.

And this is coming from a mans point of view. If it wasn't obvious.

[ElanthianSiren]

I think ES should let us all give her a gown check.

you wish. I do my kinky gown lifting dance for only one.

[DeV]

I savor and appreciate every minute of it, too.

[Tsa`ah]

I savor and appreciate every minute of it, too.

I see what you did there.

[ElanthianSiren]

I savor and appreciate every minute of it, too.

You know it. ;)

[Xeromist]

I had to give an enema the other day to a young female patient. We gave her the choice of myself or an older female nurse to give the enema, and it is beyond me why she chose me over the female. Halfway through I'm just sort of standing there, staring at the wall and I idly asked her "So...you from around here?" to which she replied "yes". I could not think of anything else to say for the rest of the procedure. So the remaining 5 minutes were spent in complete silence.

I would have expected her to want a female nurse for something that invasive or personal. Hell, maybe after the whole thing was done she was wishing she had chosen the other nurse. I felt like a dumbass.

[Lysander]

I had to give an enema the other day to a young female patient. We gave her the choice of myself or an older female nurse to give the enema, and it is beyond me why she chose me over the female. Halfway through I'm just sort of standing there, staring at the wall and I idly asked her "So...you from around here?" to which she replied "yes". I could not think of anything else to say for the rest of the procedure. So the remaining 5 minutes were spent in complete silence.

I would have expected her to want a female nurse for something that invasive or personal. Hell, maybe after the whole thing was done she was wishing she had chosen the other nurse. I felt like a dumbass.

Sometimes women get off on it. To know that a man in a position of social authority is doing this to them, with them being in a hospital gown compromising circumstance... it's just arousing to them.

Honestly, I think all women in some regard enjoy anal. Not because it neccesarily feels good but that the discomfort and pain contrasting with them full knowing that their sex is in such weakness in society that this sexual practice is actually accepted when done to women really gets them off.

[CrystalTears]

:wtf: Weren't you banned? Maybe it should be longer.

[Xeromist]

Sometimes women get off on it. To know that a man in a position of social authority is doing this to them, with them being in a hospital gown compromising circumstance... it's just arousing to them.

Honestly, I think all women in some regard enjoy anal. Not because it neccesarily feels good but that the discomfort and pain contrasting with them full knowing that their sex is in such weakness in society that this sexual practice is actually accepted when done to women really gets them off.

wat

[Sean of the Thread]

Holy shit Lysander


rofl

Not the way to make a return entrance


lolrlrofl

[ViridianAsp]

My thing with wanting a female OBGYN is simple, male OBGYN's have to have a nurse present in the room while they examine you. So not only do you have the male doctor staring at your coochie you also have another pair of eyes doing it too.

Not to mention seeing as you have to go in to get a pap smear every year, which is like molestation (at least for me, because I'm super modest. And don't like people I barely know messing around with my body parts.) I'd rather have it be just the doctor and myself instead of a spectator.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

My thing with wanting a female OBGYN is simple, male OBGYN's have to have a nurse present in the room while they examine you. So not only do you have the male doctor staring at your coochie you also have another pair of eyes doing it too.

Not to mention seeing as you have to go in to get a pap smear every year, which is like molestation (at least for me, because I'm super modest. And don't like people I barely know messing around with my body parts.) I'd rather have it be just the doctor and myself instead of a spectator.

I actually wish the female nurse didn't have to be in the room because I am that uncomfortable having any female around for that sort of thing, period. The nurse doesn't however stand at the foot and watch what the doctor is doing but rather towards my head, which makes it more tolerable.

Also LOL @ Lysander.

[ViridianAsp]

I actually wish the female nurse didn't have to be in the room because I am that uncomfortable having any female around for that sort of thing, period. The nurse doesn't however stand at the foot and watch what the doctor is doing but rather towards my head, which makes it more tolerable.

Also LOL @ Lysander.

That's true, I just hate having to have it done with someone else in the room. Like I said I'm super modest and it's bad enough having not just one person see me with my legs up in the air in that stupid position but two.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

That's true, I just hate having to have it done with someone else in the room. Like I said I'm super modest and it's bad enough having not just one person see me with my legs up in the air in that stupid position but two.

Yeah, I can definitely understand that.

[Sean of the Thread]

You just gotta put yourself in that happy place out there somewhere beyond the ceiling tile.

[DeV]

I actually wish the female nurse didn't have to be in the room because I am that uncomfortable having any female around for that sort of thing, period. It's more for their protection than yours, but it's definitely necessary. Less lawsuits, less dumb sluts claiming they've been molested just to take advantage of a male doc.

[DeV]

Honestly, I think all women in some regard enjoy anal. Your mom likes it, that's for sure.

[CrystalTears]

Your mom likes it, that's for sure.
Too bad it wasn't her preference so that he wouldn't be here.

[diethx]

My thing with wanting a female OBGYN is simple, male OBGYN's have to have a nurse present in the room while they examine you. So not only do you have the male doctor staring at your coochie you also have another pair of eyes doing it too.

Not to mention seeing as you have to go in to get a pap smear every year, which is like molestation (at least for me, because I'm super modest. And don't like people I barely know messing around with my body parts.) I'd rather have it be just the doctor and myself instead of a spectator.

What nurse actually watches the doctor work? I've never seen that happen in all the years I went to my male gyno.

Also, and I mean you're gonna feel how you're gonna feel, but WTF, molestation? The doctor doesn't mess around with your body parts. The doctor is only doing what he or she is doing because they don't want you to get cancer. Or something else bad. But mostly cancer. When people stop thinking about this as a naughty dirty embarassing sexual thing and start thinking about this as simply more preventative care, things will be a lot easier on them imho.

[ElanthianSiren]

:banghead: ...wtf.

I like to think most women like their own set of sexual practices and that most can discern sexually stimulating touch from non stimulating touch. But hell, maybe all women are just getting off on enemas, and I missed out on that one.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

It's more for their protection than yours, but it's definitely necessary. Less lawsuits, less dumb sluts claiming they've been molested just to take advantage of a male doc.

Oh I understand why it has to be done, I'm just saying that I personally don't really like it.

[DCSL]

Hasn't anyone ever told Lysander that you never go full-on retard?

[ElanthianSiren]

Tropic thunder ftw!

[ViridianAsp]

When people stop thinking about this as a naughty dirty embarassing sexual thing and start thinking about this as simply more preventative care, things will be a lot easier on them imho.


It isn't really that, I know you don't get it. But I don't like people I barely know, touching me. I've always been like that, I feel like any doctor visit and being touched is a serious violation of my personal space. Seriously, if I thought it was dirty, ect. I wouldn't be going in every year to get it done.

Also, you might want to take into account as to maybe why or how a person might feel that way before you start firing off how I'm the biggest idiot for having feelings.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I think you'd be hardpressed to find even a very masochistic, submissive woman who'll think seeing a Gyno is sexy or a turn on. It's uncomfortable and awkward but has to be done and ultimately I think preference of female or male has much more to do with "who am I comfortable with?", not "OMG THIS IS SOME HOT SEXUAL ACTION!!"

For what it's worth, Viridian, I get why some women have issues about it. I don't think it's stupid to feel extremely uncomfortable and wanting to limit how many people are around you in that compromising position. I'm lucky to never have had an experience that would up my uncomfortable-ness but I know that's not the case for everyone.

[ElanthianSiren]

I actually kind of get where Viridian is coming from too. I don't like to be touched at all unless I've initiated the touch (control freak -- yes), but I tend to just tell myself: it's a medical thing, you do it once a year, go get it over with. I have two modes of dealing with it: be violent or be very calm. Thinking about it as the above lets me remain very calm about it.

My life would suck in a city like New York x1000; subways ugh...

[diethx]

I didn't say you were the biggest idiot at all. However now I may have to change my mind.

[diethx]

I guess my feeling is, get the fuck over it? I dunno, it's true I don't have a problem with people I don't know touching me, so long as it's not anywhere that only my fiance and my doctors get to touch me.

But it's totally different when it's a doctor who's acting to prevent your death. At least, to me it is. So yeah, I don't understand how preventative care can make you feel so uncomfortable and violated.

[ViridianAsp]

I didn't say you were the biggest idiot at all. However now I may have to change my mind.

Awesome, just don't touch me.

[diethx]

Awesome, just don't touch me.

No worries there. Cross my heart ;)

[Some Rogue]

May I suggest therapy?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

May I suggest therapy?

Talking to a therapist doesn't get rid of your problems. It helps you cope with them.

You can't get raped, go see a shrink a couple times and then be totally fine the next time a stranger needs to stick stuff up your vag during an exam.

[Some Rogue]

Really? Are you sure?

[diethx]

Ok, who the fuck was raped? I didn't hear anything about rape.

[Some Rogue]

And for the record, I wasn't even referring to the actual exam.

[Allereli]

You just gotta put yourself in that happy place out there somewhere beyond the ceiling tile.

Yeah I fully appreciate offices where there's some poster on the ceiling to stare at.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Ok, who the fuck was raped? I didn't hear anything about rape.

It was an example of how someone could be uncomfortable with a gyno. And an example of how a therapy session is not likely going to "cure" that sort of trauma.

[diethx]

It was an example of how someone could be uncomfortable with a gyno. And an example of how a therapy session is not likely going to "cure" that sort of trauma.

Oh, ok. And I see a huge difference between feeling uncomfortable/violated getting a PAP because you've been raped, and feeling uncomfortable/violated getting a PAP because you don't like being touched by strangers.

[Sean of the Thread]

This might be the wrong time to express this feeling but I've often held poster boards with "FREE MAMMOGRAMS and BONUS PAPS SMEAR" written on it whilst tailgating.


I'm ashamed.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Oh, ok. And I see a huge difference between feeling uncomfortable/violated getting a PAP because you've been raped, and feeling uncomfortable/violated getting a PAP because you don't like being touched by strangers.

I do too, I just felt the "Get Therapy" comment was a bit rich if the person has deeper, underlying trauma that contributes to their Pap aversion.

I don't like being touched by strangers but I'm fine with getting my exam. The uncomfortableness is outweighed by my desire to not have cancer in my vag.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

This might be the wrong time to express this feeling but I've often held poster boards with "FREE MAMMOGRAMS and BONUS PAPS SMEAR" written on it whilst tailgating.


I'm ashamed.

I have a T-shirt that says "Trust me, I'm a doctor".

[Sean of the Thread]

HPV FTL

[ViridianAsp]

I do too, I just felt the "Get Therapy" comment was a bit rich if the person has deeper, underlying trauma that contributes to their Pap aversion.

I don't like being touched by strangers but I'm fine with getting my exam. The uncomfortableness is outweighed by my desire to not have cancer in my vag.

I do too, I don't want to have cancer, I suffer through my being uncomfortable. If I didn't think it was an important thing, wouldn't suffer through it.


P.S. to the get therapy, been through it. Talking to someone about it only helps so much. You still have to get up and go through your day and yes, get your vagina touched by strangers so you don't wake up a few years from now with a huge cancerous cyst.

[diethx]

I do too, I just felt the "Get Therapy" comment was a bit rich if the person has deeper, underlying trauma that contributes to their Pap aversion.

I don't like being touched by strangers but I'm fine with getting my exam. The uncomfortableness is outweighed by my desire to not have cancer in my vag.

Well, since no one here was talking about being raped or whatever, I don't think the get therapy was TOO off the mark. If someone was talking about being raped, then yeah, it would be a bit rich.

And yeah. I never said gyno exams were fun... they could be uncomfortable (fuck uncomfortable - those speculums hurt). I just don't get the "violated" and "molested" stuff. Especially when you're there simply to watch for cancer.


HPV FTL

I concur.

[Some Rogue]

Oh, ok. And I see a huge difference between feeling uncomfortable/violated getting a PAP because you've been raped, and feeling uncomfortable/violated getting a PAP because you don't like being touched by strangers.

Someone got it. :hug2:

And it wasn't just an exam. NO TOUCHING BY ANYONE was almost how it sounded. Sorry if I think that sounds a little crazy.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Someone got it. :hug2:

And it wasn't just an exam. NO TOUCHING BY ANYONE was almost how it sounded. Sorry if I think that sounds a little crazy.

Sorry, I'm having hormonal, PMS mood swings and you were the target of my e-rage.

[ElanthianSiren]

Some people have a very large personal space. It doesn't mean they need therapy any more than you need therapy for not having a large personal space.

[diethx]

Some people have a very large personal space. It doesn't mean they need therapy any more than you need therapy for not having a large personal space.

I dunno, when we hung out that once and that dumb kid touched your arm you jumped back and glared at him like he jammed a red hot penis in your mouth. I find that kinda weird. But you're weird in so many other ways that it's part of your charm. :heart:

I think having such a huge aversion to strangers lightly touching you in a non-sexual place is weird.

edit: Oh, unless of course (and this should be so obvious I don't need to say it) you've got rape or child abuse or something in your past, and then that's understandable.

[Sean of the Thread]

Is it so wrong to want to touch boobs?

[ElanthianSiren]

Yeah, I don't like being touched by people I don't know. Part of it is simply how I grew up (you don't touch). Another part is personal space. The third part is I really am a control freak. If I want to be touched, I will let you know.

Now, with friends, however, I'm fine with it. Like I didn't flip a lid when you hugged me, nor do I get unhappy when J touches me (yaaaay). It really depends on three factors with me: relationship (closeness), initiation (by me or not by me... like that kid I didn't know and didn't touch first), and deeming the touch necessary or unnecessary.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I dunno, when we hung out that once and that dumb kid touched your arm you jumped back and glared at him like he jammed a red hot penis in your mouth. I find that kinda weird. But you're weird in so many other ways that it's part of your charm. :heart:

I think having such a huge aversion to strangers lightly touching you in a non-sexual place is weird.

I can trace my aversion to being touched back to Middle School. My school was overcrowded and the hallways turned into these horrible jams during passing period. I had D-cup tits by 5th grade, when most of the girls still had little mosquito bites.. in the jams I'd get felt up against my will be various guys "pretending" they just bumped into me but pretty blatantly trying to feel my tits. I went to the school authorities about it and filed numerous sexual harassment reports, but it didn't stop until I finally grabbed one kid by his nuts and said "Hey I get a feel too?" while squeezing as hard as I could. After that it died down a lot but ever since I've always had issues with being touched by strangers.

It's not "Hey I was raped" but I can directly remember that as being the turning point where my need for personal space became very important to me.

[diethx]

I'd say that qualifies as sexual abuse, even if it wasn't an adult who did it. See, that's a valid reason for not liking to be touched by strangers. However, I can't say i'd feel you were being reasonable if you were to say that you felt like you were being violated and molested by a normal run-of-the-mill women's exam.

[Sean of the Thread]

You people are weird... I liked it when the girls touched my chest in middle school hallways.

[Xeromist]

I went to the school authorities about it and filed numerous sexual harassment reports, but it didn't stop until I finally grabbed one kid by his nuts and said "Hey I get a feel too?" while squeezing as hard as I could. After that it died down a lot but ever since I've always had issues with being touched by strangers.

That is both 1) awesome and b) completely appropriate how you handled that. I wish it was more commonplace for females to do that. I can guarantee we'd see about a 25% reduction in male stupidity with those kind of measures in place. The remainder I guess could be remedied via lobotomy or something else useful.

I've been told if a dog starts humping your leg, you kick it in the balls. That would really-kind-of-suck to go through (in a really-kind-of-big way), but it definitely conveys a simple, yet powerful species-transcendent message. I would suspect the dog to think twice about doing it again. Seems like a close enough parallel to me that if a dude grabs your boobs you can either kick him in the nuts or give them some kind of satanic death grip to the juevos to say that same message. Lord knows its overdue for too many men out there.

You get an A++ for that in my book.

[DCSL]

I typed out two responses but I was positive that both would get someone to jump down my throat with both feet so I deleted them. I'll boil my input down to this, without my own history and misanthropic ways in there:

Why does it have to be sexual when someone doesn't want others touching them? Why do they have to be crazy (which makes it not okay) or sexually abused (makes it totally okay) to not want strangers touching them?

[Xeromist]

I typed out two responses but I was positive that both would get someone to jump down my throat with both feet so I deleted them. I'll boil my input down to this, without my own history and misanthropic ways in there:

Why does it have to be sexual when someone doesn't want others touching them? Why do they have to be crazy (which makes it not okay) or sexually abused (makes it totally okay) to not want strangers touching them?

I'm guessing often times the difference between "crazy" and "sexually abused" in your question is just if the person chooses to be open about the fact they had some sort of traumatic event.

As for those who were sexually abused, I imagine a number of them suffer from PTSD--a lot of things trigger memories, feelings, experiences, etc and they react accordingly--similar to our soldiers who return from war who have difficulties adjusting back to civilian life. It's something they have to try to live with and there will be times and events that will bring those memories and experiences to the front of their mind (and in a very vivid fashion) and it may get in the way. Nobody ever really wants to react strongly over a seemingly harmless event, but they do. And often times they're aware of it...that doesn't necessarily mean that it's an easy thing to change or fix, you know?

[DCSL]

What do you mean by being "open" about one's sexual abuse? Would I have to tell all my friends that I had a history of it or would a couple of shrinks have to know or what?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

That is both 1) awesome and b) completely appropriate how you handled that. I wish it was more commonplace for females to do that. I can guarantee we'd see about a 25% reduction in male stupidity with those kind of measures in place. The remainder I guess could be remedied via lobotomy or something else useful.

I've been told if a dog starts humping your leg, you kick it in the balls. That would really-kind-of-suck to go through (in a really-kind-of-big way), but it definitely conveys a simple, yet powerful species-transcendent message. I would suspect the dog to think twice about doing it again. Seems like a close enough parallel to me that if a dude grabs your boobs you can either kick him in the nuts or give them some kind of satanic death grip to the juevos to say that same message. Lord knows its overdue for too many men out there.

You get an A++ for that in my book.

It's funny because my step-mom always blamed it on me. Even though I wore extremely modest clothing that made me stick out like a sore thumb, if I'd just wear something BAGGIER and more concealing then she was sure guys would leave me alone. When they did grab and grope me, she told me that it's inappropriate to fight back and that I needed to go through the "proper rules" and report them instead of taking things into my own hands.

One day I broke down crying about it over dinner one night and my dad finally said enough of this bullshit, next time any one of those little fuckers touches you, you show them what it feels like. I don't care if you get in trouble, I don't care if you get suspended, you have the right to defend yourself.

So, I did just that and that was really when I started to have a turn around about my own self-image.. I got tired of playing the victim and at times I did get in trouble for it (I punched a kid in the face who groped my ass while on the bus) but I felt better about myself and how I looked when I stopped letting people get away with that shit.

It's not like any time someone touches me or whatever I flip out, but when my line is crossed I am not afraid to attack in return.

[Xeromist]

What do you mean by being "open" about one's sexual abuse? Would I have to tell all my friends that I had a history of it or would a couple of shrinks have to know or what?

Hmmm...open wasn't a good word. People that have come to terms with it might be a better phrase. And I mean that as opposed to the number of people feeling unnecessary shame or other ill feelings towards themselves over what happened on the opposite end of the spectrum.

Sorry for the poor wording.

[DCSL]

Yeah, but who gets to decide when someone else has successfully come to terms with that sort of trauma? I've been through it. I won't go into the details because I dislike even the hint of using it as an excuse, a crutch, but yeah, I've got a history.

I've come to terms with it. I am happy with myself, my life, my personality. But I don't like people touching me casually. I bet someone on here will think that I only have that personal preference because of my history, because they think I'm still a victim of that history.

I was discussing this with someone in IMs and it became a little more crystal clear as to why this issue was making me a bit irritated. I really dislike it when others see someone else's difference in personality as something automatically, intrinsically wrong.

The "get therapy" comment just really rubbed me the wrong way, I guess. I don't think that because someone reacts in a different way, thinks in a different way, has different preferences, it is a cry for help and a sign that outside intervention is needed.

That's it.

[ElanthianSiren]

Hmmm...open wasn't a good word. People that have come to terms with it might be a better phrase. And I mean that as opposed to the number of people feeling unnecessary shame or other ill feelings towards themselves over what happened on the opposite end of the spectrum.

Sorry for the poor wording.



So people who have been sexually abused, using that logic, should inform everyone they come into contact with about that situation? That way we can safely assume that anyone who doesn't prescribe to an arbitrary set of boundaries is "crazy." Way to move on with life after abuse!


Alternately, people could, you know, simply teach their children not to touch other people without consent. Alternately, alternately, people could teach their children that touching other people without their consent might end in a bit of pain. IMO the bottom line is that everyone has a different background. If an individual chooses not to respect that everyone doesn't share their experiences, they should be more than willing to take the chance of a swift kick to the pants.

[Moist Happenings]

Sigh. Why couldn't we have gotten the term Pap smear out there before when I was still all hopped up on cough syrup? I had to look it up and it really would have been a much more enjoyable read when I was sauced.

[ElanthianSiren]

:lol: this is your topic. You tell me!

[Xeromist]

So people who have been sexually abused, using that logic, should inform everyone they come into contact with about that situation?.

No, I was describing a symptom. A symptom could be representative of a million and a half things, one of which COULD be related to PTSD, or even somebody who just flat out doesn't like being touched.

If I'm rubbing people the wrong way please let me know, I didn't chime into this to upset people or set a bad or ignorant tone. I do like discussing this!

[Tsa`ah]

A 90 year old woman arrives at her first gynecologist appoint of her life.

After some brief instruction from the nurse, she removes her clothes, puts on the exam gown, and takes her position on the exam table.

What seems to be hours drag by when the doctor finally enters the room. He gets right to work without so much of a word, and then suddenly he starts in with the questions. She answers most of them mechanically, trying to conceal her embarrassment ... until he asks about discomfort.

"Well, I have had this uncontrollable itch for the past two weeks" she replies.

The doctor stands up, strips off his gloves and says "Well it's not unheard of in your advancing years, but you've got crabs".

"Crabs!" she exclaims "But I'm a virgin and except for this exam, I've not been out of my house in 20 years".

Perplexed the doctor grabs another pair of gloves and goes back for another look.

After a few minutes a "Ahhhhh huh" erupts from the other side of the gown. The doctor stands up to address the woman on his table. The peculiar expression on his face says that he's dumbfounded.

"Well ma'am" the doctor says breaking the silence "you've got fruit flies".

[Stanley Burrell]

Um.

[Tisket]

I lol'd.