Bokertal
09-25-2008, 05:36 PM
Sean2 got me thinking about some of the bars I've been, many of which I had no business even going near let alone going in and getting drunk, being an ass, etc. I've been all over the world and have made a point to hit as many bars as possible in my travels. I'll relate one story, I hope you all share some good ones too.
I was down in Mexico, Loreto Baha California on a fishing trip with four buddies. This was about 12 years ago. Loreto is or at least was then a small poor fishing village. We arrive at the "resort" and are greeted by Hector. Hector I shit you not was wearing white pants, flip flops, a bright Hawaiian shirt, and a huge panama hat. He is also holding a bucket glass which is full of what appears to be whiskey. (later confirmed to be Chivas Regal)
We check in, get settled and go to the bar. No one is there, suddenly Hector appears behind the bar. We enjoy several drinks, tequila with a squeeze mostly some beers, and a few cigars. We ask Hector, "Hector we want to see the town tell us where we can go eat and get some more drinks". Hector laughs and says "Ok boys." (he always called us boys) Hector continues, "go down the street, take a left, then a right, third door." Off we go.
We arrive go into the bar and no one is there. Suddenly, Hector appears behind the bar. We are a bit surprised and ask him what's up? He says, "I always take care of the boys". Hector takes a drink of Chivas, Hector and that glass of Chivas seem to be surgically attached. We finish up and ask Hector again, to see another place, somewhere with some people. He says "ok boys, take my car, go here go there, park behind this place, and climb the stairs to the roof of the building"....WTF?
We are in Mexico, drunk and who the heck cares, so we take is car and off we go. We finally find the place and climb up to the roof, there are a few people there, locals, and the place is weird sorta a cabana thrown together on the roof of the building.
Anyway once again Hector shows up. My buddies are wasted and don't see anything weird goin on I'm starting to get the creeps. One of the guys says to Hector, "Hector where the hell are the Women?" Hector takes a drink of Chivas and laughs, his laugh was kind of manic. He explains that there are no Women in Loreto. We press him to take us to where the Women are. He gives in but he says "ok but this time I drive".
Off we go, it's dark now. We drive for sometime and then turn off the dirt road we were on and streak out into the desert. Hector takes a drink and starts to laugh. My buddies are all laughing, I'm starting to freak out. Hector through his laughter begins to howl "You crazy American boys! coming out here with a stranger I could kill you all." Not so much laughter anymore from my buddies. Hector takes a drink and says he's only kidding. Finally we see a light off in the distance, two buildings sorta like a small motel with the rooms detached.
Hector gets out and is greeted by a real nasty lookin guy with his gut hangin out below his way to tight t-shirt and after some lengthy negotiations he nods and we are allowed to go in.
I've been to allot of places...nothing compares to what I saw here. The "women" he brought us to see were ummm how do I put this? The raunchiest, flee ridden ghouls I've ever seen.
There was one other American there that was carrying on about how many times he's blown his load since being there, I was going to be sick. I went to the "bathroom", a trough with a pipe that lead out through the wall and on to the ground outside. I decided I needed to catch up with my buddies, cause they didn't seem disturbed so I started poundin shots and Tecate's. Didn't help.
I decided to go outside, big mistake, the Federalis had shown up. Great I had way too much cash on me to deal with those assholes and I darted back inside and told Hector. He got nervous, I got more nervous. Hector leaves, I say SHIT.
I have no freaking idea what's going to happen next my buddies don't even have a clue what's going on, nor do they want to hear about it cause there too busy watching one of the girls roll around on the ground.
ok this story is gettin to long....
The Federalis load us up in the paddy wagon and off we go again....we are so F'd. I'm having nightmares about Mexican prison and a fat greasy Mexican named Poncho. The van stops...the door opens....we are back at the resort. WTF. They laugh unload us and take off.
The next morning we are in the resort bar and Hector shows up, Chivas in hand and says "good morning boys!" laughs hysterically and as he disappears into the kitchen he says..."I always take care of the boys!"
I was down in Mexico, Loreto Baha California on a fishing trip with four buddies. This was about 12 years ago. Loreto is or at least was then a small poor fishing village. We arrive at the "resort" and are greeted by Hector. Hector I shit you not was wearing white pants, flip flops, a bright Hawaiian shirt, and a huge panama hat. He is also holding a bucket glass which is full of what appears to be whiskey. (later confirmed to be Chivas Regal)
We check in, get settled and go to the bar. No one is there, suddenly Hector appears behind the bar. We enjoy several drinks, tequila with a squeeze mostly some beers, and a few cigars. We ask Hector, "Hector we want to see the town tell us where we can go eat and get some more drinks". Hector laughs and says "Ok boys." (he always called us boys) Hector continues, "go down the street, take a left, then a right, third door." Off we go.
We arrive go into the bar and no one is there. Suddenly, Hector appears behind the bar. We are a bit surprised and ask him what's up? He says, "I always take care of the boys". Hector takes a drink of Chivas, Hector and that glass of Chivas seem to be surgically attached. We finish up and ask Hector again, to see another place, somewhere with some people. He says "ok boys, take my car, go here go there, park behind this place, and climb the stairs to the roof of the building"....WTF?
We are in Mexico, drunk and who the heck cares, so we take is car and off we go. We finally find the place and climb up to the roof, there are a few people there, locals, and the place is weird sorta a cabana thrown together on the roof of the building.
Anyway once again Hector shows up. My buddies are wasted and don't see anything weird goin on I'm starting to get the creeps. One of the guys says to Hector, "Hector where the hell are the Women?" Hector takes a drink of Chivas and laughs, his laugh was kind of manic. He explains that there are no Women in Loreto. We press him to take us to where the Women are. He gives in but he says "ok but this time I drive".
Off we go, it's dark now. We drive for sometime and then turn off the dirt road we were on and streak out into the desert. Hector takes a drink and starts to laugh. My buddies are all laughing, I'm starting to freak out. Hector through his laughter begins to howl "You crazy American boys! coming out here with a stranger I could kill you all." Not so much laughter anymore from my buddies. Hector takes a drink and says he's only kidding. Finally we see a light off in the distance, two buildings sorta like a small motel with the rooms detached.
Hector gets out and is greeted by a real nasty lookin guy with his gut hangin out below his way to tight t-shirt and after some lengthy negotiations he nods and we are allowed to go in.
I've been to allot of places...nothing compares to what I saw here. The "women" he brought us to see were ummm how do I put this? The raunchiest, flee ridden ghouls I've ever seen.
There was one other American there that was carrying on about how many times he's blown his load since being there, I was going to be sick. I went to the "bathroom", a trough with a pipe that lead out through the wall and on to the ground outside. I decided I needed to catch up with my buddies, cause they didn't seem disturbed so I started poundin shots and Tecate's. Didn't help.
I decided to go outside, big mistake, the Federalis had shown up. Great I had way too much cash on me to deal with those assholes and I darted back inside and told Hector. He got nervous, I got more nervous. Hector leaves, I say SHIT.
I have no freaking idea what's going to happen next my buddies don't even have a clue what's going on, nor do they want to hear about it cause there too busy watching one of the girls roll around on the ground.
ok this story is gettin to long....
The Federalis load us up in the paddy wagon and off we go again....we are so F'd. I'm having nightmares about Mexican prison and a fat greasy Mexican named Poncho. The van stops...the door opens....we are back at the resort. WTF. They laugh unload us and take off.
The next morning we are in the resort bar and Hector shows up, Chivas in hand and says "good morning boys!" laughs hysterically and as he disappears into the kitchen he says..."I always take care of the boys!"