Abyran'sa
09-15-2008, 04:01 PM
Higher Council of Clerics attacking Sorcerers!
As we all know, the Sorcerer Guild has been making a substantial profit through their late night infomercial sales of alchemy products, especially with the recent successes of their sanctuary breaking shards (one rub, mayhem ensues!) and phase dust (lose 10 pounds in 2 seconds!). The guild’s innovative practice of Necromancy has led to a truly animated sales pitch by the recently deceased and (newly acquired) master of the infomercial, Billy Mays. Angered over the financial success, the Council of Cleric’s has responded with outright threats!
"Sorcerers who appear on satellite channels who are proven to be sorcerers have committed a great crime ... and the ... consensus is that the apostate's punishment is death by the sword," Sheikh Saleh al-Fozan, a member of the Higher Council of Clerics.
The clerics have threatened to relegate Sorcerer’s advertising to cable TV, which could prevent as much as half of the coveted late night zombie demographic, the Sorcerer’s main customer base, from being able to view the infomercials. The Sorcerer’s Guild has survived challenges in the past, most notably it has been the target of product’s liability complaints citing nightmarish results after consumption of its rose bouquet. The Guild successfully defended the lawsuit as it cited consumption voided the product’s express warranties. Other complaints have been filed over the years alleging mere illusionary merchandise and cursed side effects after use of products. This will likely turn out to be another successfully warded attack by the guarded stance of the Sorcerer Guild.
A livid Guildmaster Stark (of the Icemule Trace Sorcerer Guild) responded to these recent allegations; “They may want to remind themselves of Ta’Ashrin’s fate, because if these threats continue the Council of Clerics will know no sanctuary and the only quarter they will find is one cast of Limb Disruption at a time!”
* Real Article used for the inspiration
http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/LE668892.htm
Guild Master Sereg’s puppeteer
As we all know, the Sorcerer Guild has been making a substantial profit through their late night infomercial sales of alchemy products, especially with the recent successes of their sanctuary breaking shards (one rub, mayhem ensues!) and phase dust (lose 10 pounds in 2 seconds!). The guild’s innovative practice of Necromancy has led to a truly animated sales pitch by the recently deceased and (newly acquired) master of the infomercial, Billy Mays. Angered over the financial success, the Council of Cleric’s has responded with outright threats!
"Sorcerers who appear on satellite channels who are proven to be sorcerers have committed a great crime ... and the ... consensus is that the apostate's punishment is death by the sword," Sheikh Saleh al-Fozan, a member of the Higher Council of Clerics.
The clerics have threatened to relegate Sorcerer’s advertising to cable TV, which could prevent as much as half of the coveted late night zombie demographic, the Sorcerer’s main customer base, from being able to view the infomercials. The Sorcerer’s Guild has survived challenges in the past, most notably it has been the target of product’s liability complaints citing nightmarish results after consumption of its rose bouquet. The Guild successfully defended the lawsuit as it cited consumption voided the product’s express warranties. Other complaints have been filed over the years alleging mere illusionary merchandise and cursed side effects after use of products. This will likely turn out to be another successfully warded attack by the guarded stance of the Sorcerer Guild.
A livid Guildmaster Stark (of the Icemule Trace Sorcerer Guild) responded to these recent allegations; “They may want to remind themselves of Ta’Ashrin’s fate, because if these threats continue the Council of Clerics will know no sanctuary and the only quarter they will find is one cast of Limb Disruption at a time!”
* Real Article used for the inspiration
http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/LE668892.htm
Guild Master Sereg’s puppeteer