It's 1 am est

[Sean of the Thread]

And I don't know where my kids are.

It started poorly today as I loaded up the wrapped presents and put the cake in the car and SO promptly pulled out leaving me behind with my kids crying their eyes out calling for me.


Now it's 1:10 am.

[diethx]

:(

I so don't know what to say, even.

edit: She has family or something at least to stay with, right? She's got your kids in a safe place I'm sure?

[Sean of the Thread]

I called everyone on the list. Next step is the local motels hotels before I call the hospitals and police.

[Keller]

I called everyone on the list. Next step is the local motels hotels before I call the hospitals and police.

How is she paying? Just check the credit card statement.

[Sean of the Thread]

Good idea.. would it show up this soon tho... the neighbor said she saw them here for about 15 minutes at 11:30 pm.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

How is she paying? Just check the credit card statement.

+1

Or if you have joint checking (or know her pin) go online and check for recent charges to her account. Should list locations and all that.

[Warriorbird]

If you/she has online banking/anti id theft phone hotline (ask for a list of transactions) it should...otherwise tomorrow.

[Sean of the Thread]

Do you that Nikita Krushchev was the Ruskie premier when the Berlin wall was erected in 1961?

[thefarmer]

Since she has the (same as you) legal right to transport/have the kids, I think you're going to get 0 help from the police. They'll be able to tell you if she was arrested or something, but other than that, zilch.

Trust me. I've been there.

[Sean of the Thread]

I didn't want help I just want to know if they're okay. I meant police in the accident report fashion. Not in the other way.

[Warriorbird]

On the Krushchev bit...

Yeah, actually... there was a whole 'Man of Steel'(Stalin) vs 'Man of Corn'(Krushchev) unit in my 20th century Russian history class. It talked about that as a counterbalance to the De-Stalinization Krushchev did.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I think it only becomes an issue if all three of them disappear past a certain number of days, and then all three become legally missing persons and then the police may step in and start helping you.. or if you have some sort of evidence that your children are in imminent danger.

[Sean of the Thread]

Awesome. I love that me and WB are history peeples.

[The Ponzzz]

Pending activity should show up within one hour of the usage of a debit/check card with most bank cards. I would get on that ASAP. Also, cell phone calls, if that is applicable. If the car is yours and registered in only your name, register it as stolen.

[Sean of the Thread]

I think it only becomes an issue if all three of them disappear past a certain number of days, and then all three become legally missing persons and then the police may step in and start helping you.. or if you have some sort of evidence that your children are in imminent danger.

I'm in imminent danger. I'm just worried where they are and actually it's probally better they're not here right now. I literally have a 7.62 x 39 assault rifle with a bayonet right next to me.

That's how serious I think this guy was. Fucked jacked me up too and I didn't fight back afraid of the law. Boy was I mistaken.

[Kyra231]

Since she has the (same as you) legal right to transport/have the kids, I think you're going to get 0 help from the police. They'll be able to tell you if she was arrested or something, but other than that, zilch.

Trust me. I've been there.

Been there too, anything less than strictly specified court appointed dates & times for visitation and/or custody being joint/full for you = jack shit for help from the cops. What a pile of shit to go through, I'm sorry you're having such a crap time with the SO(especially for the kids sake, she shouldn't put them through that).

That aside, document document document now. Times, dates, who you called, name of the person you spoke to, etc. Just as a cyoa for future reference.

~K.

[Sean of the Thread]

Good advice thank you.

[Sean of the Thread]

I checked all transactions on all accounts and nothing.

She has the master key to a motel they may be there. I hope. Accident and online police reports are clear.

[thefarmer]

Been there too, anything less than strictly specified court appointed dates & times for visitation and/or custody being joint/full for you = jack shit for help from the cops. What a pile of shit to go through, I'm sorry you're having such a crap time with the SO(especially for the kids sake, she shouldn't put them through that).

That aside, document document document now. Times, dates, who you called, name of the person you spoke to, etc. Just as a cyoa for future reference.

~K.

Document what she did. Go out (assuming you're sober enough) to a wal-mart and buy a tape recorder. When (hopefully soon) she calls, record what she says when you ask her why she drove off like that with the kids.

While it may not be admissible in court (it is in NC) it's something that might come in handy later.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Take all the money out of your checking and put holds on your CCs. She'll come home when she's out of money.

[ElanthianSiren]

I thought you could amber alert parent/kid combo after 24 hours?

If any of your kids has a medical condition that's life threatening without meds, you can file a report immediately as far as I'm aware in PA.

[thefarmer]

I thought you could amber alert parent/kid combo after 24 hours?

If any of your kids has a medical condition that's life threatening without meds, you can file a report immediately as far as I'm aware in PA.

Amber alerts are for missing or abducted children. As the mother drove off of her own accord, I doubt it would qualify.

[ElanthianSiren]

Yeah but she maliciously took his kids without his consent and now he doesn't know where they are.

I'd say that's abducted.

Idk much (at all) about this. I just know I get a lot of those "Have You Seen Us?" cards and most of the abductions are by family. It would fuck my mind pretty hard if there's no way to report your spouse abducting your kids when the prevailance is so high (for family abductions... in the abducted pool).

[thefarmer]

He can't prove she abducted them. She has as much legal right as he does. Driving off with the kids, even in that shitty scenario, wouldn't be considered abduction. Now, had she stated that she was going to run away to Mexico or otherwise flee the country, he'd have a case.

Edit: Spouses are different than family members. An uncle taking your kids is different than a spouse, since the spouse is assumed to have the legal right to gather the kids up and leave and the uncle has no custodial and legal rights. Now, had there been custody papers stating that the time she took the kids away was Sean's court appointed time, then yeah, he'd have a case.

[ElanthianSiren]

.... that's beyond fucked up. My brain just exploded.

So how long until a person can claim their spouse/ex abducted their kids?

[thefarmer]

It depends on a good number of things.

Are they in danger from the situation or parent? Are the spouse and kids just at their grandmother's house and they won't call you? Are they running to mexico? etc etc.

The answer would determine what the cops would do- based on the state laws, etc etc.

[DeV]

So how long until a person can claim their spouse/ex abducted their kids?
It may not be considered kidnapping/abduction because he knows who the kids are with. If there are no signs of foul play or abuse, the police may not do much in a domestic matter of this nature. Hopefully, for her sake, she hasn't crossed state lines with the kids.

It also depends upon whether or not you're married and if not, who has full/partial custody. Lots of factors in play.

[Sean of the Thread]

I just woke up she was on the couch and the kids are in school.

[CrystalTears]

Good grief! That was a needless scare. I'm glad they're all safe.

Now interrogate that bitch about her actions.

[ElanthianSiren]

Well, at least you know where they are now.

edit:


Now interrogate that bitch about her actions.

:yeahthat:

[thefarmer]

I just woke up she was on the couch and the kids are in school.

Whatever you do.. DO NOT GO BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF HER!!! (Like I would want to)

Go visit them at school for lunch. Talk to them about what happened in a lighthearted "Hey, what'd you kids do? Anything fun?" Explain to them that you and their mother are having problems, but that you still love them. Prove to THEM (and the courts for later) that you care about them enough to make sure they're OK and safe, etc.

[thefarmer]

Oh.

Ask her politely what happened. There's no point to argue or fight or anything like that. If she'll tell you, great, if not, it doesn't matter in the long run.

Once your conversation is over, get out of your fucking house AND GET A LAWYER.

[Sean of the Thread]

Anyways crisis averted. She's not telling me anything after asking nicely if the kids were in school and then it began to escalate. So I stopped.

[thefarmer]

Thats one good step.

Now keep going.