Taking the expensive dating service plunge

[Revalos]

Well, after my epic fail attempt at dating, I've decided to go the other way and try the Its Just Lunch service. $900 minimum. Normally I would balk, but I got a bonus this year, and I'd just blow that much on other crap, maybe it might be worth it. I did the craigslist thing a while back and got scared of the online stuff...this is kind of a cross between that and the old school video dating stuff that used to go on, but apparently this is not video based, just extensive interviews. It at least appears to be a legit dating thing, not one of those "lets hire escorts and pretend they are dating the losers!" businesses that are everywhere.

I'm going there this afternoon to start the process. I was kind of put off by the obvious bimbo they put on the phone pre-interview this morning. She tried to work in awkward questions into random spots, and then made them even wierder. But I figure they have to act like that for some of their clients, so whatever. I did like the fact that she said that most of the folk they worked with had advanced degrees and careers, so maybe it is just a cougar and nerdfest, but I'm game.

I'll let y'all know how it turns out.

[CrystalTears]

I'm just curious why you have this intense need to date. Your divorce was just settled not too long ago. Are you not comfortable taking a year or two off and just be alone? I think the dating would occur more naturally if you were at least comfortable with everything.

Personally I think you're worrying way too much about this to resort to a dating service, but that's just me. After a breakup of any kind, I took at least a year off to be alone and not date.

[Asha]

Hang out with friends, go to see movies and all that good shit instead of trying to force a relationship to form with someone / anyone.
You're not likely to find the right person with this state of mind.

Good luck though :D

[Clove]

I want to know the awkward questions (answers optional).

[Clove]

Oh, and yeah what Drayal and CT said. Why blow dough on dating so soon? If I were you, I'd take some time be single for a while. Enjoy it. Hang with friends, close bars, play video games and eat ice-cream until 4am. Get a dog or some shit. Shopping for new relationships right after (in my opinion within 18 months) you put a marriage to bed is just asking for trouble.

[NocturnalRob]

http://images.uncommonsportsman.com/images/admin/40_year_old_virgin_speed_dating_2.jpg

Very pretty. Real soft, delicate features. They're real feminine, you know, which is good for me, because that would be a simple sort of transition. You know what I'm saying? Maybe throw a little rouge on you, tuck your sack back?

[Zarli]

yeah.. I dont know you or your story but I was divorced too, several years ago and every single person I dated (because I didn't feel like I should be alone I guess) ended up being a loser, or at least that's how I saw it, I think maybe I just wasn't ready. Too much baggage yet, too many hard feelings, too much mistrust, always expecting that person to do something that my husband did, good or bad.

I needed to learn about who I was alone, what I needed and wanted and just be happy without worrying about being with someone. Take the advice of trying being alone for a little while, do things you like to do, go out with your friends, make new ones, dont rush into another relationship, especially one that's from a dating service. Chances are they have a crap load of baggage too. :(

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

I think it's great. I wanna know how it goes to be honest, cause all I seem to date are psycho needy women lately :(

[NocturnalRob]

psycho needy women

Is there any other kind?

[iJin]

What CT said.

Focus on yourself and work on the things you know you need to. The right person will come when you least expect it! If everytime you meet someone and think, "Hey, maybe this chick will make me put my troubles away/is the one", you're going to be completely let down and disappointed. Have fun, and try to be the best you can for when the next girl comes along, you have so much more to offer than before.

Just my two cents.

[NocturnalRob]

or you can do this dating service thing, meet some fun people, have some sex and good times, and try not to take things so damn seriously.

how old are you anyway? sorry, i don't know your story.

[iJin]

Personally, paying $900 bucks on some dating service is kinda psycho. IMO!

[NocturnalRob]

Personally, paying $900 bucks on some dating service is kinda psycho. IMO!

and that's the minimum. brutal.

[CrystalTears]

Well I don't have an objection to using the service in order to meet more people and expand your horizons. But I don't see it being helpful to use it to find the next Ms. Right. As long as you're open-minded about the whole thing and don't take it seriously (as NocturnalRob states), it should be fine.

My friend back home met someone through eHarmony. They lasted about 3 months. She said she can't explain to me yet what happened, only that she spouted off in angry Spanish something akin to not holding onto other people's baggage. Didn't sound good.

[Cephalopod]

$900 is three trips to a reasonable hooker.

Just sayin'.

[NocturnalRob]

Well I don't have an objection to using the service in order to meet more people and expand your horizons. But I don't see it being helpful to use it to find the next Ms. Right. As long as you're open-minded about the whole thing and don't take it seriously (as NocturnalRob states), it should be fine.

My friend back home met someone through eHarmony. They lasted about 3 months. She said she can't explain to me yet what happened, only that she spouted off in angry Spanish something akin to not holding onto other people's baggage. Didn't sound good.

yeah, i think there's too much pressure with these services to latch on to a long-term relationship. that means taking on the baggage of your new mate WAY too early. you should take things slowly and learn about each other at a reasonable rate. that way, once you realize that the other person is completely fucked up, it's too late. you already love them.

[NocturnalRob]

$900 is three trips to a reasonable hooker.

Just sayin'.

or 30 blowjobs from your mom.

Oh no! your mom!! ohhh...didn't even see it coming!

and neither did she.

[Sylvan Dreams]

Well I don't have an objection to using the service in order to meet more people and expand your horizons. But I don't see it being helpful to use it to find the next Ms. Right. As long as you're open-minded about the whole thing and don't take it seriously (as NocturnalRob states), it should be fine.

My friend back home met someone through eHarmony. They lasted about 3 months. She said she can't explain to me yet what happened, only that she spouted off in angry Spanish something akin to not holding onto other people's baggage. Didn't sound good.

That's a figure of speech. It was probably in referring to something along the lines of not carrying relationship baggage.

Though, PITA people are often referred to as unwanted packages too.

Either way, yea. . .not good.

[CrystalTears]

Uh, I know what it meant. That's for clarifying the obvious.

[Revalos]

OK, I'm back and $900 poorer, let me respond first before I go into the details:


I'm just curious why you have this intense need to date. Your divorce was just settled not too long ago. Are you not comfortable taking a year or two off and just be alone? -CT

Firstly, yes, the divorce was officially settled in June of this year, but I have been divorced for all intents and purposes since last August at least. I have been basically alone since then, dating wise, and I'm bored of it. If you saw my other thread with my only real attempt at dating since then, I think that is what drove me to this.

Basically, I suck at dating. Plain and simple. Always have. Hell, I found the neediest girl in college I could find, married her, and got screwed over. I deserved it. So, I want to try this out. Yes, there will be the pressure aspect with this, but I just need to try something new for a change.



Hang out with friends, go to see movies and all that good shit instead of trying to force a relationship to form with someone / anyone.
You're not likely to find the right person with this state of mind. -Drayal

Been there, done that. And I plan to keep doing that too. This is just a side thing I also feel like doing. Hell...I have the fucking free time, why not spend it doing something more fun than sitting around my house until my friends have spare time too. I have the easiest job in the world and I love it (Did I mention the amount of time I spent at the hotel casino in Korea these past weeks...while being paid per diem? I love you taxpayers!) so why not have a good time outside of work too?



I want to know the awkward questions (answers optional). -Clove

I felt more like I was taking a Meyers-Briggs test than an interview over the phone...the in person thing was a little better...but it is just more that the interviewer just kind of switched subjects nonsequitir-like a lot and I wanted to say more on some things, then others she would just ask and ask over and over again (like if I had any kids...I guess she couldn't figure out how I was possibly married for 6 years and had none...maybe she thought they were dead or something). We talked a lot about football, and cooking, and travel...not things I would think would be necessarily date related discussions...but maybe she has some sort of system.


Chances are they have a crap load of baggage too - Zarli

Sure they do...otherwise why would they be going to a dating service? I realize that this is a desperation move from my perspective as well as the other side. But I'm not desperate, I like my life quite much right now, but I feel that I may be missing out on an opportunity if I didn't try this. I don't like the bar scene, my work scene is equally bad, and most of my friends are either coupled up (which usually makes me a third wheel) or uninteresting to hang around.


"Hey, maybe this chick will make me put my troubles away/is the one", you're going to be completely let down and disappointed. - Zuie

Word. I've learned this lesson six ways to Sunday. I am not looking for the right one anymore, that person does not exist, IMHO. I'm looking for a good dose of reality to my otherwise virtual life. And if I get to have some fun while I'm at it, it would be about time.



or you can do this dating service thing, meet some fun people, have some sex and good times, and try not to take things so damn seriously.

how old are you anyway? sorry, i don't know your story. - NocturnalRob

I'm 29 going on 45. I don't fit into a normal age group. I have as much fun with my 22 year old friends as I do with my 38 year old ones.

Seriousness is also only an afterthought to this shindig. I just want to have some new experiences. I told the lady today that I wasn't looking for a long term relationship, but I wasn't opposed to one. Maybe I'm John Kerry on this, but I really don't care anymore one way or the other, I just want to seize the day and do something.



Personally, paying $900 bucks on some dating service is kinda psycho. IMO! -Zuie

Yeah...it was kind of a shock when she said that. I don't get where that money is actually going. They only have like five employees. But what the hell, I got my bonus, I was going to spend it on something, why not this?


yeah, i think there's too much pressure with these services to latch on to a long-term relationship. that means taking on the baggage of your new mate WAY too early. you should take things slowly and learn about each other at a reasonable rate. that way, once you realize that the other person is completely fucked up, it's too late. you already love them. - NR

Yeah...I agree that I'm likely going to run into some craaaaazy divorced women looking for a quick fix to their lack of relationship, but crazy sex is the best sex no? And I'm about as fucked up as you can get anyway, as per all of my previous discussions on here regarding relationships, so I don't mind running into someone equally fucked up. And if I love them and they fool me? So what? I've already been burned once, if I get burned again, it won't be destroying any false beliefs, just another notch on the proverbial bedpost.

Anyway, here's the rundown. So I show up to this ridiculously non-descript suite in a ridiculously non-descript building in downtown DC. No advertising saying that this place was inside at all...it wasn't even on the directory in the lobby! So I am getting kind of concerned about the legitness of the operation at this point.

I get up to the 10th floor and by luck figure out where the office is. The girl that opens the door is pretty much your standard fare slutty dresser and now I get really worried. Have I just signed up for a monthly escort service?

Anyway, my fears diminish when my actual interviewer shows up after I fill out the necessary statistics documentation about me and what I don't want (not much there about what I do want...but I don't really know what that is anyway). She still asks some of the same questions as she did on the phone...which was kind of weird, but I guess she didn't write much down then. She totally skips over the religion thing...which I thought was going to be the hardest part of the interview...but maybe my selection of "Other" is more common these days (the other options were Jewish, Protestant, and Catholic)... and focuses on my hobbies.

We talk about photography, football, cooking, travel...and all during this she seems kind of...well, bored. Like her eyes are glazed over. I'm not sure if this is because I'm kind of a jack-of-all-trades kind of guy with no real distinguishing characteristics, or the fact that she basically has me pegged as yet another "John Smith" to be thrown to the hyenas and either be torn apart or join them.

When we get to the pricing...she shows me the services packages. There's the everpresent Platinum package which is like 21 months and 21 dates for something obscene like three grand, a premium package of 12 months or 12 dates (which ever takes longer to occur) for like $1500, and the el cheapo basic (by comparison) $900 young professional's package for 6 dates or 6 months with a $79 month to month after that.

According to her, I will get some matches by tomorrow night. First names and statistics only. I can't imagine there is much of a selection process unless it really is some kind of secret Meyers-Briggs computer formula that figures this stuff out.

I got a book about dating from the company...which is something I probably needed anyway, and some other information about how the service works too that I will read tonight and tomorrow.

All in all, relatively painless, except on the pocketbook. The proof will be in the dates. What I am supposed to do is to give her feedback after each date I go on and tell them if they are getting closer to what I want, whether I think there will be a second date, and so on. They then adjust fire accordingly.

I still have a lingering shenanigans feeling about the speed at which they can produce these "matches" in less than 24 hours and that I'll magically be incompatible with the first five dates...but then magically find a hot girl on the sixth. We'll see though, I'm trying to stay objective and have fun here.

As usual, I'll provide situation updates for my own personal catharsis and those that have an interest along with annoying those that don't.

[NocturnalRob]

Sounds like you're coming into this with the right attitude, and I wish you the best of luck. Oh, and I demand that this thread be bumped after every date so you can give us the run down on every girl.

Oh, and I didn't know you're in DC. Next time I'm down there we can go grab drinks. I can at least introduce you to some slutty post-college girls.

[Revalos]

Yeah, I need to hold a PC/DC party at my shack in College Park one of these days when I'm more normal. I had a good time with the Richmond crew, but that is quite a drive. There are enough of us around here to at least tailgate for a MD or Redskins game.

And I plan sequential updates for sure. I know there are lurkers who have been curious about these services, so I can beta test it for them.

[Methais]

Well, after my epic fail attempt at dating, I've decided to go the other way and try the Its Just Lunch service. $900 minimum. Normally I would balk, but I got a bonus this year, and I'd just blow that much on other crap, maybe it might be worth it. I did the craigslist thing a while back and got scared of the online stuff...this is kind of a cross between that and the old school video dating stuff that used to go on, but apparently this is not video based, just extensive interviews. It at least appears to be a legit dating thing, not one of those "lets hire escorts and pretend they are dating the losers!" businesses that are everywhere.

I'm going there this afternoon to start the process. I was kind of put off by the obvious bimbo they put on the phone pre-interview this morning. She tried to work in awkward questions into random spots, and then made them even wierder. But I figure they have to act like that for some of their clients, so whatever. I did like the fact that she said that most of the folk they worked with had advanced degrees and careers, so maybe it is just a cougar and nerdfest, but I'm game.

I'll let y'all know how it turns out.

http://www.meantees.com/images/Porn.jpg

[Daniel]

I'm down for drinking in DC. As long as it's metro accessible and it's early enough where I can go bail out and find easy sluts.

[Clove]

First of all Revalos- don't go all Bobmuthal on us. Using the quote function is sooo much easier for the readers.

Second of all... if you're going to throw out a teaser like "awkward questions" I want to hear that she asked you about which direction your balls hang, or how old you were when you first gave oral or something!

[NocturnalRob]

it's early enough where I can go bail out and find easy sluts.

dude, it's DC. whip your shit out and spin in a circle. you'll hit four or five.

[Daniel]

dude, it's DC. whip your shit out and spin in a circle. you'll hit four or five.

Did I say otherwise? I'm just guessing he doesnt have an over abundance in his house.

[Durgrimst]

All I have to say is that the harder you try, the less likely you are to find the right one. Just chill out and let it happen..

[Revalos]

First of all Revalos- don't go all Bobmuthal on us. Using the quote function is sooo much easier for the readers.

Second of all... if you're going to throw out a teaser like "awkward questions" I want to hear that she asked you about which direction your balls hang, or how old you were when you first gave oral or something!

Heh...I've just used GS' official BBS system for so long it seemed like a good idea at the time to just italicize. I fixed them in the original post as much as I can with the 3 hours of sleep I just had. God damn jet lag is making me insane.

I wish she would have asked questions like 'do you want a firecrotch or a thundercunt?' It would have made the whole process a lot less awkward. Instead she was obviously setting me up for a long term relationship kind of thing with the whole "what do you like to do, in exquisite detail" series of questions. Sorry to disappoint.


dude, it's DC. whip your shit out and spin in a circle. you'll hit four or five.

This I've done. Easy sluts are not for me. I want to go out on an actual date and get to know someone now. Fuck-and-forget is kind of the way my marriage turned out the way it did...like an eight year one night stand. That kind of sounds pedo a bit there...but you get the picture.


All I have to say is that the harder you try, the less likely you are to find the right one. Just chill out and let it happen..

I'm not so sure about that. I'm a pretty homebodyish guy. I tend to believe that at my current rate, I was more likely to decide when I was 50 that I just wasted twenty years of my life doing nothing and then want kids or some mid life crisis bullshit. I thought that this girl I was willing to go to Iraq for was kind of the "let it happen" thing and it really wasn't. I want to go this way too, and if it doesn't work out? It doesn't. At least the possibility exists.

Does anyone have a good cure for jet lag out there? And not easy sluts. I've slept a grand total of 5 hours since I left Korea on Friday night.

[droit]

I've slept a grand total of 5 hours since I left Korea on Friday night.

Dude, I left Korea Friday night! We might have been on the same flight. United to San Francisco?

[Revalos]

Dude, I left Korea Friday night! We might have been on the same flight. United to San Francisco?

No...I wanted that flight but I had to fly fucking Delta to Atlanta to connect to Dulles. Did you notice the Bennigans at Incheon airport? Monte Cristo FTW!

[Allereli]

dude, it's DC. whip your shit out and spin in a circle. you'll hit four or five.

Tell me when to duck. Gross.

[droit]

No...I wanted that flight but I had to fly fucking Delta to Atlanta to connect to Dulles. Did you notice the Bennigans at Incheon airport? Monte Cristo FTW!

Ugh. Sucks. Nah, my layover was relatively short, so I didn't get a chance to sample Incheon's delights. It's a crazy airport, though.

[AestheticDeath]

Tell me when to duck. Gross.if you duck your heads going to be closer to it

[NocturnalRob]

Tell me when to duck. Gross.

eh, my dick's got better taste than that.

oooo....

[Drew]

Revalos, make sure you don't unload on these girls. You remind me of a friend of mine who whenever he goes on dates puts way too much of himself out there. I think it's always better to err on the side of mysterious than laying it all on the line. Chicks love to dissect guys and figure them out anyway, so give them something to do.

[Stretch]

Try speed dating and act like a douche bag.

It worked for me.

[Daniel]

Did you ever give a readout on that?

[Stretch]

No, I didn't bother calling any of them.

[Revalos]

Revalos, make sure you don't unload on these girls. You remind me of a friend of mine who whenever he goes on dates puts way too much of himself out there. I think it's always better to err on the side of mysterious than laying it all on the line. Chicks love to dissect guys and figure them out anyway, so give them something to do.

I don't plan on bearing my soul to anyone except you guys...hence why I keep posting here to get it off my fucking chest so I don't go all nutjob on these girls.


Try speed dating and act like a douche bag.

It worked for me.

Douchebags get all the action it seems. Sometimes I think being a nice guy is really for chumps. But oh well...being brought up in the Southern Gentleman Capital of the World, N'Awlins, sucks for me.

[NocturnalRob]

Douchebags get all the action it seems. Sometimes I think being a nice guy is really for chumps. But oh well...being brought up in the Southern Gentleman Capital of the World, N'Awlins, sucks for me.

eh, i was raised in jackson, MS. dad's from Natchez. Mom's from Kinston, NC. douchebags may seem cool at the time, but i guarantee if you look back, you'll think: "Wow, that guy is a huge schmuck." and girls that go for douchebags have serious daddy issues and/or are too immature for a fulfilling long-term relationship anyway. then again, they tend to enjoy crazy sex.

treat your date with respect. you don't have to act mysterious, but i would suggest not dumping anything too profound on her for the first 3-5 dates. keep it light and enjoy yourself. as cliched as it sounds, first dates are interviews. that doesn't mean they have to be boring or lame. if you're relaxed, they should be effortless.

unless the girl sucks. then you should learn how to cut a date short.

[Zarli]

treat your date with respect. you don't have to act mysterious, but i would suggest not dumping anything too profound on her for the first 3-5 dates. keep it light and enjoy yourself. as cliched as it sounds, first dates are interviews. that doesn't mean they have to be boring or lame. if you're relaxed, they should be effortless.


Good advice. If a guy starts dumping on me right away it's a bit of a turn off, not that I dont care about what they've been through (eventually) but yeah on the first couple dates I'd really just rather have fun for a little bit. That doesn't mean be all super secretive though, if she asks you could maybe give the cliff notes version with a little promise to get into it some other time. Let her know you're open to talking about it but she's so much more interesting at the moment :)

[NocturnalRob]

Let her know you're open to talking about it but she's so much more interesting at the moment

stop giving away my secrets!!

seriously though, that's the winner right there. be communicative and show interest in her, but don't let her carry the conversation.

you'll be fine. girls in DC love to talk about themselves. or their fathers. or their past boyfriends.

you're fucked. hahaha...

[Back]

$900? You may as well buy a high class prostitute for a night...

Thats close to my cash on hand for the month. I don’t even try and opportunities come up all the time. Are you getting out of the house much?

[Daniel]

I don't plan on bearing my soul to anyone except you guys...hence why I keep posting here to get it off my fucking chest so I don't go all nutjob on these girls.



Douchebags get all the action it seems. Sometimes I think being a nice guy is really for chumps. But oh well...being brought up in the Southern Gentleman Capital of the World, N'Awlins, sucks for me.

You know who gets all the girls?

Confident guys who don't come across as needy and desperate, capable of living their own life without a woman being there. Do Douchebags fit this criteria? Yes. That doesn't mean that all guys who get girls are d-bags.

[Zarli]

yes, confidence is sexy.. however over confidence says I'm an asshole and I'll kick your ass for not doing the dishes in 5 years.

[Revalos]

$900? You may as well buy a high class prostitute for a night...

Thats close to my cash on hand for the month. I don’t even try and opportunities come up all the time. Are you getting out of the house much?

Nah. I get out on the weekends and hang out with my co-workers, but that's about it. If I lived in downtown this wouldn't be an issue...but because I bought a place in the burbs when I was married and now I can't get rid of it because the market blows, I'm kind of sequestered unless I make a special trip to go out.

And it would have been a lot of money for me if I hadn't got a bonus. I still have $800 left over from that now.

And I'll reiterate that I am not that hard up for a lay. That isn't what this is about, I'm just fucking bored of being a third wheel. I'd like to have someone to bring around and hang out with my friends too so I don't just look like a dingleberry. And if it works out to be better than that? Hunky Dory.

[NocturnalRob]

yes, confidence is sexy.. however over confidence says I'm an asshole and I'll kick your ass for not doing the dishes in 5 years.

douchebags can afford dishwashers.

now go make me a sandwich.

[Zarli]

I respected you for like 5 minutes. Back to reality.

[NocturnalRob]

I'm just fucking bored of being a third wheel. I'd like to have someone to bring around and hang out with my friends too so I don't just look like a dingleberry. And if it works out to be better than that? Hunky Dory.

dude...please do not start dating someone because you need a person to drag around with your friends.

i have friends like that. they are the butt of a number of jokes.

if your friends keep asking you to come out, clearly they don't mind you coming alone. neither should you. take it as an opportunity to perv on all the single girls.


I respected you for like 5 minutes. Back to reality.

:( please make me a sandwich? i'll draw you a bath and rub your feet!

[Revalos]

You know who gets all the girls?

Confident guys who don't come across as needy and desperate, capable of living their own life without a woman being there. Do Douchebags fit this criteria? Yes. That doesn't mean that all guys who get girls are d-bags.

Eh, I've heard that one before and I think it is more of a self-fufilling prophecy than an actual causal relationship. All it takes for a guy to get confident is to get one or two girls, then it goes on from there. I was confident as hell until my marriage dissolved in front of me. I need to get my confidence back, and this seems like a good way to do it.

And I still think d-bags get an inordinate amount of action, which then creates more d-bags ad nauseum ad infinitum. It may be the machismo confidence that is doing it, but god damn, why not go for the actual confident normal people more than the d-bags?

[Daniel]

I can't think of a better situation to be in than around abunch of locked up girls and the only single guy. That's like asking for an invitation to all their friend's pussy.

[NocturnalRob]

I can't think of a better situation to be in than around abunch of locked up girls and the only single guy. That's like asking for an invitation to all their friend's pussy.

pretty much. act like a cool, fun guy around a bunch of girls with husbands/boyfriends, and you will get noticed.

"OMG, my friend, Laura, would be PERFECT for you!! Let me give you her number! She loves yoga, and she just finished recovering from her boob job. She's been DYING for someone to go out with!!"

[Revalos]

dude...please do not start dating someone because you need a person to drag around with your friends.

i have friends like that. they are the butt of a number of jokes.

if your friends keep asking you to come out, clearly they don't mind you coming alone. neither should you. take it as an opportunity to perv on all the single girls.

You do make a good point, although I see it more of a side benefit than the actual reason for getting a relationship. My peer group has significantly altered over the past three years from being single folks hanging out to couples hanging out. Me perving on single girls really doesn't make me look any better or worse than if I actually brought someone else to the party. And maybe being the third wheel is still a good way to go, I just haven't tried the other way so I want to see how it is.

Obviously this would require one of these dates to actually lead to something else and not just be a one off deal. I'm not going to try and get a girl to go out on a second date and parade her around in front of my friends like a trophy.

[Back]

Nah. I get out on the weekends and hang out with my co-workers, but that's about it.

Thats enough right there. With $900 bones you could probably buy everyone a round of champagne.

Seriously? Don’t sweat. Be your fun-loving self. It will come to you.

[Revalos]

pretty much. act like a cool, fun guy around a bunch of girls with husbands/boyfriends, and you will get noticed.

"OMG, my friend, Laura, would be PERFECT for you!! Let me give you her number! She loves yoga, and she just finished recovering from her boob job. She's been DYING for someone to go out with!!"

See, this is exactly what was happening like two years ago with my peer group. Now? All their good friends are taken...leaving, shall we say...the dregs. I've been out with these dregs a few times and it becomes rather obvious why they are what they are. Needy, desperate, and generally not fun to be around. I've played that game before, I don't need a rematch.

[Revalos]

Thats enough right there. With $900 bones you could probably buy everyone a round of champagne.

Seriously? Don’t sweat. Be your fun-loving self. It will come to you.

I do that on a regular basis. I'm a sugar daddy for several people, because that's what I like to do.

And I'm sure it will come to me someday, I just felt like doing this impulsively...especially with 6 months to kill between now and Iraq.

[Daniel]

Join some sort of professional society and never ever buy everyone a round of champagne.

[Back]

I do that on a regular basis. I'm a sugar daddy for several people, because that's what I like to do.

And I'm sure it will come to me someday, I just felt like doing this impulsively...especially with 6 months to kill between now and Iraq.

You’re off to Iraq? Damn. That should get you something.

[NocturnalRob]

See, this is exactly what was happening like two years ago with my peer group. Now? All their good friends are taken...leaving, shall we say...the dregs. I've been out with these dregs a few times and it becomes rather obvious why they are what they are. Needy, desperate, and generally not fun to be around. I've played that game before, I don't need a rematch.

this is the issue with DC, man. And I'm sorry to say it, but most of the girls looking for relationships get snatched up at 25-27. The ones who don't are either awful, needy, and not worth your time...or are consumed by a desire to succeed professionally before focusing on a family (30-32). You are caught in the middle here.

So relax and enjoy. Also, if you're going to Iraq in 6 months...wtf?

[Daniel]

If you can't get pussy with a "I'm going to Iraq in 6 months" line, then I honestly don't know what to tell you.

[Zarli]

wow.. he's said a few times already, it's not about getting laid.

Though I have to say, I'm a little surprised you'd spend 900 bucks on a dating service to find a companion that you're going to leave in 6 months, what if the planets align and you actually find a miss right through this place?

[CrystalTears]

Definitely play it casual since you're leaving in 6 months.

There's nothing worse than finally finding a cool guy to hang out, only to find out he'll be gone for a long time.

[Zarli]

:yeahthat:

[Revalos]

To me, someone who would dump me because I'm going to Iraq isn't someone I want to have a long term relationship with. I doubt I'll even bring it up unless I get to a second or third date with one of these girls. It isn't like I'm going to Vegas for 4 months. If there really is a connection there, Iraq isn't going to matter. Otherwise, yes, this is mostly a casual thing. I really and truly doubt I'll find some mythical soulmate through this system. It is called Its Just Lunch for a reason.

[Daniel]

wow.. he's said a few times already, it's not about getting laid.



I'm sure the guy has plenty of friends with vagina's that his penis is not going into. That's kinda the point. You can call it his soulmate, I can say getting laid. Same shit.

[NocturnalRob]

You can call it his soulmate, I can say getting laid. Same shit.

hahahaha

[Back]

Sarchasm aside... no one is going to tell you what’s best for you. Do what you do and fuck the rest of them.

[iJin]

Fuck you Back!

[Zarli]

To me, someone who would dump me because I'm going to Iraq isn't someone I want to have a long term relationship with. I doubt I'll even bring it up unless I get to a second or third date with one of these girls. It isn't like I'm going to Vegas for 4 months. If there really is a connection there, Iraq isn't going to matter. Otherwise, yes, this is mostly a casual thing. I really and truly doubt I'll find some mythical soulmate through this system. It is called Its Just Lunch for a reason.


Actually it wasn't the point of dumping you because you're going to Iraq, it's that only having 6 months with someone before they leave to Iraq if you really start to care about them would really suck. It's hardly enough time to get close and if you do it's a pretty difficult thing to ask of someone you've only known that long. Though again, if you're just wanting company and nothing serious, ok.

[Back]

Fuck you Back!

Holy fucking shit... what did I do now?

In any case, much obliged.

[Drew2]

Sounds like you need a gay friend. I'm the best matchmaker on this side of Houston and I have the references to prove it. Girls love their gays, and in turn, straight boys love the gay's girls.

Although I do require that you're not ugly because I don't encourage ugly people to breed. Also, I don't keep fat/ugly girls in my entourage so I wouldn't have anyone for you anyway.

[NocturnalRob]

Sounds like you need a gay friend. I'm the best matchmaker on this side of Houston and I have the references to prove it. Girls love their gays, and in turn, straight boys love the gay's girls.

false. you need a selfless attractive straight friend. if i'm back down in DC in the next couple months, I can take you out and show you around. And if won't matter if you're not attractive.


Although I do require that you're not ugly because I don't encourage ugly people to breed. Also, I don't keep fat/ugly girls in my entourage so I wouldn't have anyone for you anyway.

of course you want them to continue to breed, Drew. Otherwise you wouldn't have anyone to make fun of/make you feel better about yourself.

please stop falling right into the mold of the gay stereotype. It's embarrassing.

[BigWorm]

Your problem is that you're putting the pussy on a pedestal.

[Back]

false. you need a selfless attractive straight friend. if i'm back down in DC in the next couple months, I can take you out and show you around. And if won't matter if you're not attractive.



of course you want them to continue to breed, Drew. Otherwise you wouldn't have anyone to make fun of/make you feel better about yourself.

please stop falling right into the mold of the gay stereotype. It's embarrassing.

ZING????

Ouch.

[Drew2]

of course you want them to continue to breed, Drew. Otherwise you wouldn't have anyone to make fun of/make you feel better about yourself.
You present a valid argument for ugly breeders. I'll allow it.


please stop falling right into the mold of the gay stereotype. It's embarrassing.

The stereotype has to come from somewhere, and it's a lot easier to be what people expect me to be rather than work hard to be an individual. Maybe when I have more time to dedicate to being gay I'll figure out an alternative. Right now I'm only gay in my free time.

[Drew2]

ZING????

Ouch.

You have no room to talk, you're one of the ugly people that makes the rest of us feel better about ourselves.

[Back]

You have no room to talk, you're one of the ugly people that makes the rest of us feel better about ourselves.

Glad to help.

[NocturnalRob]

The stereotype has to come from somewhere, and it's a lot easier to be what people expect me to be rather than work hard to be an individual. Maybe when I have more time to dedicate to being gay I'll figure out an alternative. Right now I'm only gay in my free time.

sounds like a plan


You have no room to talk, you're one of the ugly people that makes the rest of us feel better about ourselves.

zing and/or ouch.

[Back]

zing and/or ouch.

It’s ok. I get more than Drew anyway.

[CrystalTears]

Your problem is that you're putting the pussy on a pedestal.
You're making the pussy into this great big Greek goddess named Pussalia.


It’s ok. I get more than Drew anyway.
Your hands don't count. Drew has partners.

[Back]

You're making the pussy into this great big Greek goddess named Pussalia.


Your hands don't count. Drew has partners.

ZINGQUEEN COMETH!!!

Nice.

I must kneel before her comeliness.

[Sean]

Originally Posted by CrystalTears
Your hands don't count. Drew has partners.

If Drew goes through partners like he does jobs he probably has AIDS.

[Drew2]

If Drew goes through partners like he does jobs he probably has AIDS.

Fuck you ho I don't got the AIDS.

But that's so hilariously cute if Backlash thinks he gets more play than I do. I don't know how to finish this argument without sounding like a ho, though. So I'll let it die.

[iJin]

Fuck you ho I don't got the AIDS.

But that's so hilariously cute if Backlash thinks he gets more play than I do. I don't know how to finish this argument without sounding like a ho, though. So I'll let it die.


IF YOUR A REAL ASS BITCH IN A FAKE ASS WORLD.

*RINGRINGRING*

[Numbers]

I've got a coworker who found his girlfriend on eHarmony, and they've been dating for about a year.

Of course, this guy is Mr. Marine (seriously, the marines is ALL he talks about), and the reason his previous girlfriend broke up with him is because he brought back from Iraq, as a gift to her, a ripped up and bloody burqa that an Iraqi woman had died in.

So, yeah, the girl he's dating has gotta be pretty fucked up in her own right to put up with that kind of person.

In any case, I've been tempted to give eHarmony a try. With the hours I work, going out on weekdays (even Friday nights) is pretty much out of the question. And I absolutely hate bars (and other loud, noisy, and crowded places), so tend to avoid those like the plague. When I do hang out with friends on weekends, it's usually to the movies or a restaurant or a lounge or a cigar bar. Someplace quiet that's not a meat market and where drunk people don't congregate.

It was a lot easier in college. Then again, it was in college where I learned that women are FUCKING INSANE!

[Drew2]

eHarmony hates gays. Fuck them hoes.

[Asile]

In any case, I've been tempted to give eHarmony a try. With the hours I work, going out on weekdays (even Friday nights) is pretty much out of the question. And I absolutely hate bars (and other loud, noisy, and crowded places), so tend to avoid those like the plague. When I do hang out with friends on weekends, it's usually to the movies or a restaurant or a lounge or a cigar bar. Someplace quiet that's not a meat market and where drunk people don't congregate.

I'd probably only go for eHarmony if you're seriously into trying to find a long-term relationship; that's what it seems to me it's set up for.

I have no idea what it's like now, 'cause I canceled my account/profile 5 years ago after meeting my husband, but Match.com impressed me back then by having 2 sections: one for people who were really trying to find long-term relationships, and one for people who were looking more for something casual. I had my profile in the 2nd section, 'cause I mostly wanted to try to find someone to go out with on a Friday or Saturday night and then see what happened. And now I know what can happen when you take that attitude. (Obviously, since I personally had success with Match.com, they are my first recommendation, with the note I've already put up that it's been a good long while since I used them.)

I would have suggested one of these to Revalos, but he mentioned in his first post that he's wary of the online thing. Never mind that I found the experience rather comfortable, being a person who tends to be really shy and reserved around strangers; I got to know a bit about people before actually meeting them in person. Yeah, some people lie or at least embellish online, but anyone who tries to do that very much with one of the online dating services is really screwing themselves over...since the truth can get discovered fairly quickly by someone who's got their head on their shoulders.

I do want to know how this works out. I can kinda understand where Revalos is coming from, and if he feels the cost is worth it, more power to him.

Oh, and for everyone wanting to know why he's "rushing" into trying to date again so soon after his divorce was finalized...stop a minute to think about how long it may have been since the divorce process began, or what may have been going on before it even got to the divorce part. My parents' divorce was finalized something like 2 years after my dad moved out, and they'd been heading toward that for so many years prior to him leaving that it would have been totally reasonable for my mom to start dating sooner than she did. So... cut him a little slack there. Besides, some people just don't handle being alone very well, and are just more likely getting into a new relationship soon after one ends.

[Stanley Burrell]

Plastic. Novelty. Vagina.

[iJin]

Honestly, if I ever got married and then divorced, I'd never date again. I'd be the most pessimistic bitch on the planet.


And again, $900, yeesh.

[ViridianAsp]

Douchebags get all the action it seems. Sometimes I think being a nice guy is really for chumps. But oh well...being brought up in the Southern Gentleman Capital of the World, N'Awlins, sucks for me.

My guy is nice...it just took me like awhile to make the right choice...

We women are damn stupid sometimes...Well, most of the time..

Yeah..anyway, he is from South Carolina, don't lose being a gentleman. Too little of those left.

[Asile]

We women are damn stupid sometimes...Well, most of the time..

Yeah..anyway, he is from South Carolina, don't lose being a gentleman. Too little of those left.

:yeahthat:

(The woman who goes for the douchebag isn't the woman you want to be with anyway. At least not 'til she grows up.)

[AnticorRifling]

Of course, this guy is Mr. Marine (seriously, the marines is ALL he talks about), and the reason his previous girlfriend broke up with him is because he brought back from Iraq, as a gift to her, a ripped up and bloody burqa that an Iraqi woman had died in.


I see no problem with this.

[NocturnalRob]

I see no problem with this.

seems like a nice, thoughtful gift, complementing both the culture of the country he was in while incorporating his own personal experiences...

[Sylvan Dreams]

seems like a nice, thoughtful gift, complementing both the culture of the country he was in while incorporating his own personal experiences...

It brought to mind the image of when my mini weiner dog would leave dead bunnies and crows at the door and sits waiting for praise.

[NocturnalRob]

It brought to mind the image of when my mini weiner dog would leave dead bunnies and crows at the door and sits waiting for praise.

hahaha...one of my beagles used to do this with squirrels. he was so proud. he would literally sit at the back door for hours waiting for someone to notice him and his "present."

[Sylvan Dreams]

hahaha...one of my beagles used to do this with squirrels. he was so proud. he would literally sit at the back door for hours waiting for someone to notice him and his "present."


She would stockpile them in front of the door. I'm still trying to figure out how in the hell she'd kill those big black birds (they're almost a foot high, black beaks, black feet). She's a miniature weiner dog - only an 8 pound purse dog - so I have NO idea how in the hell she did it.

[NocturnalRob]

She would stockpile them in front of the door. I'm still trying to figure out how in the hell she'd kill those big black birds (they're almost a foot high, black beaks, black feet). She's a miniature weiner dog - only an 8 pound purse dog - so I have NO idea how in the hell she did it.

she's packing a 9mm

[AnticorRifling]

It's easy, a bird's neck is thinner than a pencil (reference NocturnalRob's penis). Badger dog just snaps it.

[NocturnalRob]

It's easy, a bird's neck is thinner than a pencil (reference NocturnalRob's penis). Badger dog just snaps it.

correct. i've done the requisite comparison

[Revalos]

Got my first date set up for a week from Thursday with a 34 year old lady who's been divorced for six years, works from home as a consultant, no kids.

I'm really not sure what to think...but I'm starting to believe that the shenanigans are in play. We'll see how it goes...I am going to keep an open mind. I'll debrief you all next week.

[Zarli]

What's making you think that?

[Sylvan Dreams]

It's easy, a bird's neck is thinner than a pencil (reference NocturnalRob's penis). Badger dog just snaps it.

Yes, but...how does a purse dog that's something like 6-7 inches tall manage to sneak up and nab a bird that's like a foot tall in an open field with no places to hide?

Oh and um, dating services are bad.

[Revalos]

Well...all those random questions that I thought were out of order and for some Meyer's Briggs set? How likely is it that this girl's favorite foods to cook are 100% exactly the same as mine? And I didn't pick two easy ones. Crockpot chili and swedish meatballs. Odd no?

There were some other oddities about the vital statistics that made me think they were trying to make me think a certain way from a psychological standpoint instead of a "hey, that's interesting, I'd like to know more about her" standpoint. A lot of 'things in common' not a lot of the things I was looking for.

[Numbers]

My mom makes the best crockpot chili.

But yeah, bring mace with you.

[Zarli]

I'm thinking that those two choices probably aren't so far fetched, I like to cook the chili too. Were there other things that were 100% or just the food? I think they're supposed to find someone compatible with you so I'm not sure that you should completely freak out over having them match your interests at least some.

Still of course, I'd be cautious. Is the agency setting up the date for you and the place or do you set it up yourself?

[Daniel]

You're probably looking at it the wrong way. If you say "Hot dogs" that say something about you. You could probably infer (from everything else) what type of household you come from, how much time you have, how "refined" you are. etc etc.

Fuck it man. Just go in, see what happens and then whatever. You're no more likely to meet someone who is compatible at the local country club.

[Back]

I'll debrief you all next week.

Easy tiger. Why don’t you start with debriefing her first...

:rimshot:

Yeah, that was terrible.

Good luck in any case.

[Revalos]

I'm thinking that those two choices probably aren't so far fetched, I like to cook the chili too. Were there other things that were 100% or just the food? I think they're supposed to find someone compatible with you so I'm not sure that you should completely freak out over having them match your interests at least some.

Still of course, I'd be cautious. Is the agency setting up the date for you and the place or do you set it up yourself?

I'm just thinking it was more like a sales transaction for my date instead of a compatibility assessment. But then again, I have no experience in this whatsoever so maybe that is what compatibility is all about.

I am likely super-overanalyzing all of this, because that's what I do. On the positive side she has a dog. I never mentioned I'm secretly a dog person...hence 'secretly'...duh. I think the IJL manager said it was a German Shorthaired Pointer. I'm not a fan of that specific breed...but my parents have a Pit Bull that I couldn't stand at first, but is now one of my favorite all time dogs.

IJL is setting up the whole thing. The reservation is under both our first names at a restaurant of IJL's choosing (which actually kind of surprised me...they gave me this huge list of places and then I don't get to choose?).

Also...what constitutes "drinks" in the context of someone asking you "to join them for drinks?" Is that a light appetizer and cocktails? Or is it dinner with wine? Or just sitting at the bar and getting whatever? Can I possibly over-analyze this any further?

EDIT: Here's another oddity of IJL. No internet dealing whatsoever. Everything is in person and over the phone. No e-mail, no website beyond a simple form page, no online profiles...nothing. To be honest...I see that as both a good and a bad thing. Good because it makes IJL unique in a sea of dating services with internet-based sections. Bad because they told me this massive list of vital statistics of my date over the phone and I have no way to refer back to it later.

[Skeeter]

Fuck you ho I don't got the AIDS.

But that's so hilariously cute if Backlash thinks he gets more play than I do. I don't know how to finish this argument without sounding like a ho, though. So I'll let it die.

Can you finish it w/o sounding like a rapist?

[Asile]

Eeep! All that just sounds... ugh. Makes me kinda glad I'm not the one going through it; just hearing about it from you is kinda creeping me out in a way the online services never did.


Also...what constitutes "drinks" in the context of someone asking you "to join them for drinks?" Is that a light appetizer and cocktails? Or is it dinner with wine? Or just sitting at the bar and getting whatever?

I take "joining someone for drinks" as meeting someone either right up at the bar or at a small table in the bar area with some sort of liquid (alcoholic or non) and suggesting a small something to eat.

If this is what you're being set up for, pay attention to what she gets to drink, how quickly and how much she drinks, and if she agrees to a suggestion of having a small appetizer and then really does eat. All of that will give you some important clues about her and what kind of vibe she's feeling with you.


Can I possibly over-analyze this any further?

I don't think you're quite over-analyzing it. It's just obvious that you've been out of the dating scene for a long time, and are being thrown into a slightly different (ok, a REALLY different) style of dating than you probably knew before.

[The Ponzzz]

I still agree with CT. While I'm not in the same boat as you, in 2004 was when I finally started the divorce process, even though it was like I was single since 2003.

I would never want to jump right back in the saddle of things just then. I fooled around for a little over a year and then tried the serious dating again in 2006, which took a few tries, but I'm happy with where I am now.

Just don't go and marry the next best thing you get. And don't fall in love instantly. Enjoy yourself.

[Sean of the Thread]

Revalos it's been offered before but it still stands. If you ever want to come down to the the Tampa Bay area / Clearwater I'll get you tore up from the floor up. Who knows you may make a connection.

*super bowl year ftw too btw

[Drew2]

Can you finish it w/o sounding like a rapist?

Only barely.

[Zarli]

IJL is setting up the whole thing. The reservation is under both our first names at a restaurant of IJL's choosing (which actually kind of surprised me...they gave me this huge list of places and then I don't get to choose?).

EDIT: Here's another oddity of IJL. No internet dealing whatsoever. Everything is in person and over the phone. No e-mail, no website beyond a simple form page, no online profiles...nothing. To be honest...I see that as both a good and a bad thing. Good because it makes IJL unique in a sea of dating services with internet-based sections. Bad because they told me this massive list of vital statistics of my date over the phone and I have no way to refer back to it later.

That is a little bit strange. I wonder if they would do something like make you a copy of the list they read you off before your date if that's something you want to have a better idea of. And I'd be over anyalizing it too, you're braver than me actually there's no way I would have done it through a service like this. I want to talk to someone through emails for awhile or on the phone or have a friend know them or SOMETHING before I am with them in person.

[Revalos]

Eeep! All that just sounds... ugh. Makes me kinda glad I'm not the one going through it; just hearing about it from you is kinda creeping me out in a way the online services never did.

Yeah, it is really not what I expected at all. That's why I took the chance on this to see what it is really like so no one else here has to drop nearly a grand on something like this without understanding how it is really set up.


I take "joining someone for drinks" as meeting someone either right up at the bar or at a small table in the bar area with some sort of liquid (alcoholic or non) and suggesting a small something to eat.

I assume since I have a reservation, that we are going to be starting out at a table. That's what is odd in the "drinks" context. Don't most restaurants frown upon people getting a table and then not ordering food? I guess with the cost of the alcohol at this place ($10 cocktails) maybe that isn't really an issue.


If this is what you're being set up for, pay attention to what she gets to drink, how quickly and how much she drinks, and if she agrees to a suggestion of having a small appetizer and then really does eat. All of that will give you some important clues about her and what kind of vibe she's feeling with you.

Thanks for the advice there. Very good to have that aspect in mind for what she is going to be looking for in me as well. I bet most of the people I'm going to meet through this service have used it a couple times already so they have a pretty good idea of what goes down.



I would never want to jump right back in the saddle of things just then. I fooled around for a little over a year and then tried the serious dating again in 2006, which took a few tries, but I'm happy with where I am now.

The fooling around part sucked for me, which is why I decided to try for an actual relationship thing. Sex is really kind of meaningless unless there is some sort of connection. When it is just "oh, you spent time with me for a couple of hours on the weekend and all my friends are going home with someone tonight, why don't we go fuck somewhere and then we can awkwardly ignore each other for a few weeks afterwards?" or even better "hey, I'm the office slut, I need to make sure I've fucked every middle manager so that if they ever try to fire me I can expose their secrets" that gets old after six months.


Revalos it's been offered before but it still stands. If you ever want to come down to the the Tampa Bay area / Clearwater I'll get you tore up from the floor up. Who knows you may make a connection.

*super bowl year ftw too btw

I'll let you know if they put me on a Tampa trip from work. I've gone there twice already in the past few years and I'm due for another trip. I'll definitely let you know if I'm heading that way...probably not for the superbowl unless the Saints are in it.


That is a little bit strange. I wonder if they would do something like make you a copy of the list they read you off before your date if that's something you want to have a better idea of. And I'd be over anyalizing it too, you're braver than me actually there's no way I would have done it through a service like this. I want to talk to someone through emails for awhile or on the phone or have a friend know them or SOMETHING before I am with them in person.

They said that under no uncertain terms they would not provide any additional personal information than what they read off to me on the phone.

As to the e-mails then move on to dating thing, basically what happens is when you sign up for the service, you give them a copy of your driver's license and pay with a credit card so they actually have a good idea of your credit history, moving violations, probably court documents too, so this is a bit better than e-mails to get an honest representation of the person's history, and also so that when you meet them for the first time you know they've been pre-screened by the service and aren't a very well spoken serial killer.

I also think this is designed more for homebodies and work-from-home types that don't get out much. These are the people that online services are kind of built for. I guess this is catering to the "don't get out much, but also don't do much online" crowd too. That doesn't really apply to me, but as I said, I had some bad experiences and my friends have to, around DC, so I figured this might be a better bet.

[The Ponzzz]

that gets old after six months.

That's when you move onto the next, man!

Just remember, right now, you are free! Live the dream!

[Paradii]

just get a few hookers. Save yourself some money.

[Clove]

The fooling around part sucked for me, which is why I decided to try for an actual relationship thing. Sex is really kind of meaningless unless there is some sort of connection. When it is just "oh, you spent time with me for a couple of hours on the weekend and all my friends are going home with someone tonight, why don't we go fuck somewhere and then we can awkwardly ignore each other for a few weeks afterwards?" or even better "hey, I'm the office slut, I need to make sure I've fucked every middle manager so that if they ever try to fire me I can expose their secrets" that gets old after six months.I get that you're not into casual sex... but from this paragraph, I'm still trying to figure out your "downside"?

[Daniel]

Awkwardness.

Duh

[Numbers]

How'd it go?

[Warriorbird]

I'm curious. I hope he's okay.

[Zarli]

I just tried to see when he posted last.. unless I missed something in my search it's been awhile. Wasn't the date supposed to be yesterday or was it last thursday?

[Stanley Burrell]

Yeah, it is really not what I expected at all. That's why I took the chance on this to see what it is really like so no one else here has to drop nearly a grand on something like this without understanding how it is really set up.



I assume since I have a reservation, that we are going to be starting out at a table. That's what is odd in the "drinks" context. Don't most restaurants frown upon people getting a table and then not ordering food? I guess with the cost of the alcohol at this place ($10 cocktails) maybe that isn't really an issue.



Thanks for the advice there. Very good to have that aspect in mind for what she is going to be looking for in me as well. I bet most of the people I'm going to meet through this service have used it a couple times already so they have a pretty good idea of what goes down.



The fooling around part sucked for me, which is why I decided to try for an actual relationship thing. Sex is really kind of meaningless unless there is some sort of connection. When it is just "oh, you spent time with me for a couple of hours on the weekend and all my friends are going home with someone tonight, why don't we go fuck somewhere and then we can awkwardly ignore each other for a few weeks afterwards?" or even better "hey, I'm the office slut, I need to make sure I've fucked every middle manager so that if they ever try to fire me I can expose their secrets" that gets old after six months.



I'll let you know if they put me on a Tampa trip from work. I've gone there twice already in the past few years and I'm due for another trip. I'll definitely let you know if I'm heading that way...probably not for the superbowl unless the Saints are in it.



They said that under no uncertain terms they would not provide any additional personal information than what they read off to me on the phone.

As to the e-mails then move on to dating thing, basically what happens is when you sign up for the service, you give them a copy of your driver's license and pay with a credit card so they actually have a good idea of your credit history, moving violations, probably court documents too, so this is a bit better than e-mails to get an honest representation of the person's history, and also so that when you meet them for the first time you know they've been pre-screened by the service and aren't a very well spoken serial killer.

I also think this is designed more for homebodies and work-from-home types that don't get out much. These are the people that online services are kind of built for. I guess this is catering to the "don't get out much, but also don't do much online" crowd too. That doesn't really apply to me, but as I said, I had some bad experiences and my friends have to, around DC, so I figured this might be a better bet.

Dear Mr. Socially Awkward,

I can't actually believe I'm saying this, but you seem like a nice enough and impatient guy that I must absolutely 100-%-ly mancard-revokingly advise that you have several dates and do a peck on the cheek goodnight kiss NOT for the intent purposes of creating reciprocation in female X's lingering curiousity to snowball into ideas for her doing the nasty to you because you show refrain... you owe it to your well-being to just tap that ass, plain and simple.

[Numbers]

Anyone want to take bets as to whether that 34 year old lady was really a 48 year old fat balding gay german man with an S&M fetish and a tendency to be a serial killer?

[Zarli]

Never mind he had a post yesterday.

And I'm not betting on that because if it really was I wont be able to live with the guilt.

[Stanley Burrell]

O.K.

What do we use as betting fodder?

[CrystalTears]

I've been seeing him in the game lately so he can't be dating all that much yet. :D

[Zarli]

should have left off the serial killer part :(

[NocturnalRob]

I've been seeing him in the game lately so he can't be dating all that much yet. :D

preeeeetty much

[Numbers]

Maybe it's not him posting or playing the game.

Maybe it's Hans Schadenfraur.

[Trouble]

Ack, I just noticed this topic. I've had three female friends do the IJL thing and they weren't happy with it. They said that it appeared like the people answered the questions like they wanted to be or like they thought they should be instead of how they are. While that's not surprising and is no big deal for something that costs $10 a month like Match.com, they were more or less disappointed with IJL and its loftier aims. For myself, I enjoyed my match.com phases.

One of my friends said the best thing about IJL was the fact that it was indeed just lunch so it was over within an hour.

I agree with the others; there's no need to rush back into dating after being in a messy divorce. Take the time to do a bunch of man shit that an SO would give you a hard time about.

[Revalos]

Wow...um, I didn't realize you people were keeping tabs on me. The date was only supposed to be last night, you have to give me a bit to post!

Aaaanyway, it was cancelled due to the lady having to work a double shift or something. It has been rescheduled to next week.

I've actually got a date on the 10th and the 11th now. I will post the minute I get home on the 10th! Sheesh.


I've had three female friends do the IJL thing and they weren't happy with it. They said that it appeared like the people answered the questions like they wanted to be or like they thought they should be instead of how they are.

I bet this is a physical attractiveness thing more than an answering the questions honestly given that they only met the person for an hour. They never tell you much about how somebody looks with IJL, just their hair color, eye color, and height. That isn't exactly enough for you to say "no fatties" until you see the other person.

[Trouble]

Aaaanyway, it was cancelled due to the lady having to work a double shift or something. It has been rescheduled to next week.
I saw one of my friends Friday night who had done IJL so I mentioned you and asked for input. She said that one thing that bothered her was that the guys acted like it was a job interview instead of a social function. She said to tell you to relax and enjoy yourself and you'll be miles ahead of your competition, FWIW.

[Revalos]

I saw one of my friends Friday night who had done IJL so I mentioned you and asked for input. She said that one thing that bothered her was that the guys acted like it was a job interview instead of a social function. She said to tell you to relax and enjoy yourself and you'll be miles ahead of your competition, FWIW.

That's good info to keep in mind. I bet guys treat it like a business interview because that is basically the type of guy this thing is catering to in DC (if the ads are to be believed).

Anyway, another cancellation/reschedule on the date that was supposed to be on the 10th. So now my first one is Thursday the 11th. Hopefully she doesn't cancel again.

[Back]

9/11? You never know.

[NocturnalRob]

9/11? You never know.

fuck you, dude. uncool.

[Back]

fuck you, dude. uncool.

She might wreck his tower?

Stars do not align from year to year on every date.

[NocturnalRob]

She might wreck his tower?

Stars do not align from year to year on every date.

it was the implication of the reference

[Back]

it was the implication of the reference

Get over it. It’s not good for the blood pressure.

[Warriorbird]

Sick. Stop cluttering Revalos's thread with that.

Inquiring minds will want to know your date results, Revalos.

[The Ponzzz]

Backlash is so classless.

[Revalos]

I'll make a new thread when I actually get to go on a date through IJL, this one has got kind of bloated and should not be competing with the topless thread anyway...heh.

[NocturnalRob]

I'll make a new thread when I actually get to go on a date through IJL, this one has got kind of bloated and can't compete with the topless thread anyway...heh.

fixed. nothing but love, Revalos, but until your thread has pics of your dates tee-tahs...well, ya know.

[Warriorbird]

I so have to try that during speed dating.

[Revalos]

Rescheduled again, so now my first one will be next Tuesday. Well, at least this way I'm not thinking I am getting rejected like I would if I got cancelled twice for a normal date.

[Asile]

Rescheduled again, so now my first one will be next Tuesday. Well, at least this way I'm not thinking I am getting rejected like I would if I got cancelled twice for a normal date.

What the hell is up with all this rescheduling? At least you're taking it fairly well in stride.

Of course, I'm also starting to think that maybe it's all IJL's doing, and they're trying to reschedule you right out of your 6 months or something.

[Revalos]

What the hell is up with all this rescheduling? At least you're taking it fairly well in stride.

Of course, I'm also starting to think that maybe it's all IJL's doing, and they're trying to reschedule you right out of your 6 months or something.

Well, being the overanalyst I am, I have considered that possibility, but I find it unlikely that I'll be willing to keep rescheduling more than two times, and I'm still in my first month with the service.

What I am thinking is it is pretty likely that most of the women who are on here are in other services too (if you can afford one $900+ service, why not more?) and probably are getting dates that conflict with their other ones and therefore they have to reschedule constantly. All my my reschedulings have been like one day before or less, which lends credence to that theory. If I have to reschedule this one lady again (it would be the third time) I think I'm going to tell IJL to just cancel that date and see what they say.

[Sean of the Thread]

I personally still think you should exercise other options first before going any further. /shrug

[AestheticDeath]

You think the woman have to pay the 900 too? If so ouch...

Be sure and take photos.

[Revalos]

I personally still think you should exercise other options first before going any further. /shrug

If you think I'm just sitting around waiting for this stuff to take place, you are mistaken. Like I said, this is just something I wanted to do, I'm not holding my social life up because of these reschedulings. I'm just posting info about my dating service experiences, I don't think I want to get into the sordid details of my actual social life.


You think the woman have to pay the 900 too? If so ouch...

Be sure and take photos.

AFAIK this is a "both pay" system. Maybe I'm naive about that aspect, but it seemed fairly obvious that this wasn't just a men looking for women gig. Otherwise I would have just automatically assumed that the women were just escorts.

As for photos...I don't think that would be exactly kosher for something like this...at least not a first date. I may bring the camera though, it is a good conversation piece.