Police interactions

[MPSorc]

well,

being as there are two military policemen here, figured i would start a thread, for you non policemen out there to ask questions or post up some funny situations, for us policemen to answer said questions (if we can) and tell a few police tales.

Guess ill start this off with a small tale....

I responded to a report of suicidal gestures, when i got to the house this guy told me that his wife tried to cut her wrist as he handed me this knife...a butter knife, i looked at him and said are you serious? This thing couldn't cut hot butter much less a persons skin. He said he had hidden all the sharp objects. So i decided to humor him and asked him where his wife was so i could speak with her and he said upstairs, i was like WTF yer wife just tried to kill herself and you sent her upstairs by herself? just then we heard a noise that sounded like someone runnin upstairs and then a loud crash followed by a loud "THUD", we ran upstairs to see his wife laying unconcious on the floor, he went over and woke her up and asked her what had happened, she said she tried to jump out the window, and i looked at the window and saw that it was open, but the screen was still on it, her little 100 lb ass falied to push the screen off the window and it rebounded her back onto the floor where she hit her head on the bed post, i looked at the guy said he needed to take her to the hospital for physical and mental evaluations and left, got in my car and laughed for about 2 minutes before i drove off.

[killjoymp]

I will continue this one, I responded to a fight in progress, when I get to the house there were 2 other patrols waiting and beating on the door, but no one was answering inside the house. I get the go ahead to enter the house with force after one of the other patrols hears screaming coming from inside the house. I reach back and kick the door open and we start clearing the house. Half way through our search we hear the screaming again and a cat running toward the door. We frantically search the house, but no one seemed to be there. As we are walking out we hear the screams again coming from the kitchen, 4 patrols bust into the kitchen to discover a motion sensor audio recording of a woman screaming, set up for Halloween that the cat was setting off while eating a pie that was left on the counter. Needless to say the owners of the house were not very happy with the cat when they returned home to find their front door in the middle of the living room.

[Satira]

These made me laugh. My dad is a police officer.

Heh, i've seen people try and kill themselves using a "Key" and a sharp pencil.

[peam]

I feel sorry for you guys. I can't imagine the morons you get to put up with.

Last night, I dropped by Sheetz to get some food, after I'd took a friend home. Some drunk black guy walked up to me when I was ordering and said some gibberish about me looking at him. I told him to fuck off, and he pulled the typical response of walking away mumbling shit.

On my way up to pay for my food, I noticed he was arguing with the manager about touching his hat or some equally unimportant bullshit.

I got in my car and watched, while eating. The cops came and arrested him. I went "Haeoheoheoe!" and left.

On a side note, Sheetz has a nuts security system. When the dude started giving shit to the manager, one of the clerks intercommed into the Sheetz control center. All of the sudden this Godlike voice starts booming that both noise and video is being recorded in and outside of the store. I was impressed.

[MPSorc]

i love drunks, they are so fun to interact with. hell my job would be really boring if it wasn't for drunks.

I responded to a vehicle that was pulling up to our gate one time, he stopped and started backing his explorer away from the gate instead of turning around, he maneuvered around one jersey barrier, and went around a corner, then decided it would be a good idea to drive across the median. now let me tell you about this median...this stretch of road leading up to the gate was freshly built about 2 months prior to this, just walking over it i could sink to my knees in it, trust me it happened. now i get out to the gate and they tell me this guy went around the corner and they haven't seen him since, so i start driving around there and here is this guy's explorer, front end in the mud up to the hood, the guy had opened his door, and mud was oozing inside, he jumped out and was up to about his waste in mud....and stuck. one of the best DUI's ive had.

[Kitsun]

Having dealt with dumbasses in an office environment, I can't even imagine the crap you have to put up with when they don't have to use their brain for a few hours every day or when they get all fucked up. Although these stories are giving me a pretty good idea...

Keep em coming!

[Stacey]

Police officer's work really hard. I couldn't even imagine having to put up with people who are pissy drunk, angry at the world or even just ignorant everyday. My husband's a police officer and after about 3 years working on the force I asked him not to tell me anything about the people that he has to deal with unless it's a funny story. It got to a point where I was worried all the time.

Stacey

[Sean]

damn south jersey police officers made me pump a keg out onto the lawn :(

ps. yea i know it was better then the alternative. it just made me sad.

[Edited on 1-11-2004 by Tijay]

[Stacey]

Oh, a funny story he told me..
When he first started on the force, he went to a house where a woman claimed she had been raped. He along with another officer (who just happen to be our neighbor in the apartment complex we lived in) arrived to take her complaint. She told them that she willingly had vaginal sex with this guy but when he asked her to perform oral sex on him she said no. He was tryind to tempt her (in my opinion) by placing his penis on her cheek and about her face. She got mad and called the police. I was kinna up in the air about this situation because I do believe that NO is NO. But you have to admit that is a bit strange. It may not even be funny.

Stacey

What's kinda funny is that this guy now has a record of being a pervert because he did that.

[Edited on 1-11-2004 by Stacey]

[Mint]

Originally posted by Stacey

What's kinda funny is that this guy now has a record of being a pervert because he did that.


Guess I am failing to see what is funny about this guy having a record. He and she had consensual sex then he asked her for a sexual favor that most normal guys want, didnt force her according to you, just 'tempted' her. And now he has a record? Not funny at all.

[Stacey]

How about odd? It something you would never hear of. Can we just call it odd?

Stacey

[Mint]

I find it 'odd' that with the info youve provided us it seems he has a criminal record for something normal. God is in the details, you leave anything out?

[Kitsun]

Since all we know about this scenario is hearsay I'll go out on a limb and make the following comments...

While most guys might want oral sex, it does not mean they are entitled to it.

While it isn't so out of the ordinary now, some women might actually find the act repulsive.

If she did find it disgusting, I'm sure she wasn't down there by her own accord.

You have no idea how far this guy went to 'tempt' her.

I imagine for someone to go from willing sexual intercourse to filing a police report, it takes a major friggin' mood killing act which would be than just a little flippity flop with his sausage on her cheek.

We barely know anything about this case, but the police officers sided with the female. That says something.

Edited to fix a misplaced preposition.

[Edited on 1-11-2004 by Kitsun]

[Mint]

Originally posted by Kitsun

You have no idea how far this guy went to 'tempt' her.




Thus my request for details.


While most guys might want oral sex, it does not mean they are entitled to it.

Doh. Of course not. THUS MY REQUEST FOR DETAILS.




[Edited on 1-11-2004 by Mint]

[Kitsun]

She heard the story, jokingly, from her husband. How much detail do you really expect? Want them to pull out the police report?

The only two people who will ever know what really happened aren't here to give their versions of the tale.

You completely missed the funny: Which I would think is the complete 180 this lady took on this guy.

[MPSorc]

see why our job is so hard. I can clearly see both sides to yer story Kitsun, now if he was forcfully trying to temt this gal, then yeah, he is wrong as hell, and should be labled a perv. but on the other hand if he was just trying to tempt her in a nice sexual way (sounds odd i know) she could have just flew off the handle and they got into an arguement over it, thus the police called. I do see the humor in the situation though, although seeing all that i have seen i try and find a little humor in most things just so i don't get all depressed and stuff.

now this one guy i had the oportunity to laugh at, he had intercourse with this girl after she passed out, the next day he slipped a note under her door appologising for raping her and put in all the details, and he even signed the damn thing. she did tell us in her statement that she had no idea what had gone on after she passed out and had already taken a shower that next morning before she reported it, it would have been a very hard case to prove much less find a subject without that damn letter.

[Kitsun]

I hear you.
I can definately see both sides of the story as well. If she was a whack job that flew off the handle well...hopefully he's learned not to try to score crazy chicks.

[MPSorc]

prolly more than a whack job...

sorry couldn't resist

[HarmNone]

Well, from my viewpoint, if she said "no" to oral sex, he should probably have taken that as a "no". Most women who say "no" to oral sex mean "no". They do not mean "Okay, try to tempt me into it." To them, it is not something they wish to do, and they are not about to be convinced by some dude slapping them in the face with his wanker. ;)

HarmNone

[MPSorc]

exactly, HN, no, is no, is no, is no, ....but wait, wanker slappin is bad

[MPSorc]

im pokin fun at the situation under discussion here because of this, through personal experience and hundreds of cases, i have found one thing, every incident that happens between two people has two sides, the subjects side, and the victims side, and almost 90% of the time when you look at those two they will be diferent, and when you weed out the diferences, look through the evidence, and finally figure out what happened, about 75% of the time its usually way off from what both parties have said.

[HarmNone]

Originally posted by MPSorc
exactly, HN, no, is no, is no, is no, ....but wait, wanker slappin is bad

Hee. Wanker slappin is only bad if the slappee or the slapper says it is bad. Otherwise, it can be an...interesting diversion. :D

HarmNone

[AkMan]

Originally posted by HarmNone
Hee. Wanker slappin is only bad if the slappee or the slapper says it is bad. Otherwise, it can be an...interesting diversion. :D

HarmNone

ROFL

I'm so tempted to make this my new signature.

[HarmNone]

Hey! Maybe we could have wanker slappin contests, eh? I do not have a wanker, but I will bet I could borrow one! :D

HarmNone is getting slap-happy and needs to go to bed!

[Skirmisher]

Originally posted by HarmNone
Hey! Maybe we could have wanker slappin contests, eh? I do not have a wanker, but I will bet I could borrow one! :D
HarmNone is getting slap-happy and needs to go to bed!
Harmnone, the Mother Theresa of the Players Corner.:o

Out of control and taking no prisoners.

[HarmNone]

Originally posted by AkMan

Originally posted by HarmNone
Hee. Wanker slappin is only bad if the slappee or the slapper says it is bad. Otherwise, it can be an...interesting diversion. :D

HarmNone
ROFL

I'm so tempted to make this my new signature.


AkMan, if you use that quote...thereby, revealing my sordid side to everybody new who comes to these boards, I shall place the be-all and end-all of Pagan curses upon your person! :D

HarmNone knows the regulars already know her for what she really is ;)

[Edited on 1-11-2004 by HarmNone]

[MPSorc]

you know usually when i bring this topic up with people i get flooded with questions like...does a penny in the mouth help with a breathalizer, or does foil in the wheel wells help with radars and such crap and nonsense as that, guess you all are too knowledgeable for that or just delt with police enough not to be fooled by the superstitions.

[killjoymp]

AkMan, if you use that quote...thereby, revealing my sordid side to everybody new who comes to these boards, I shall place the be-all and end-all of Pagan curses upon your person! :D

Just dont forget the 3 fold rule HarmNone, otherwise have at it

[killjoymp]

While working the desk at the largest Military instillation in the US, my traffic unit brought in a female for drunk driving, usually this is a common thing. Well as she was sitting in the breathalizer room talking with the traffic officer, I was getting the camera ready for recording and happened to notice something shiny on the floor. I zoomed the camera in to the spot and found it to be liquid, not thinking much of it, I zoomed back out and angain on the subject. I peered through the window over the top of the breathalizer machine and just happed to look down at the chair the female was sitting in and noticed that it was soaking wet. I look back over at the female who was wearing a pair of hot pink pants and saw that they were soaking wet also. I tapped on the glass and had the traffic officer step inside real quick. I asked him if he noticed anything while conducting her interview, he said no so I took him to the camera room and had him look down at the subject again and he saw the same thing. The traffic officer walked back in to finish the breathalizer and I could see him take a look at her ass when she would turn around and bust out laughing then try to regain his composure when she faced him again. This went on for about 20 min then we called her dad because she was under 21 and blew a very high amount. Well her dad shows up at the station and to our shock he just happed to be the asst. DA for the city. He specialized in DWI offenses. Needless to say that he was not very happy with his pissed stained daughter and the piss covered BMW she was driving that got towed.

[HarmNone]

Originally posted by killjoymp
AkMan, if you use that quote...thereby, revealing my sordid side to everybody new who comes to these boards, I shall place the be-all and end-all of Pagan curses upon your person! :D

Just dont forget the 3 fold rule HarmNone, otherwise have at it

Heh. That rule is for Wiccans and Neo-Pagans. We Welsh Pagans do not concern ourselves with it. ;)

HarmNone on Karma, or lack of same

[Soulpieced]

I think of Super Troopers and fear for everyones' safety that cops really are like that.

[MPSorc]

you mean like doing stupid stuff to pull people over, like me driving down the highway in my unmarked behind another patrol in a marked going the speed limit, then rocketing past him when we get a line of cars to see if anyone else will and pull them over? well we never gave tickets for it, but it was fun.