Hancock

[Clove]

Hancock was cool. Charlize Theron is yummy. This summer has been good for movies.

[Back]

I was expecting something else from the title.

http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758445

Happy 4th.

[Bregus]

It was cool but I thought the second half was kinda lame. First half was awesome though.

[Gan]

DO NOT SPOIL THIS MOVIE. IF YOU MUST SPOIL IT - MAKE A SPOILER THREAD.

I wish to see this movie soon and dont want you dolts to screw it up.

:nono:

[Sean of the Thread]

All I hear is that it sucks from customers.

[Keller]

DO NOT SPOIL THIS MOVIE. IF YOU MUST SPOIL IT - MAKE A SPOILER THREAD.

I wish to see this movie soon and dont want you dolts to screw it up.

:nono:

Why the hell would you click on this thread?

Dolt!

[Clove]

All I hear is that it sucks from customers.So what? Look at 'em. Would you take their advice on anything?

[Kranar]

What an absolute waste of a movie.

This could have been a really good movie if they didn't screw up the second half so badly.

[Gan]

Why the hell would you click on this thread?

Dolt!

I would say that I'm interested to hear what you guys say about it (without spoiling the plot (if there is one)). But that would be silly of me to admit the opinions here actually meant something.

:whistle:

[diethx]

Yeah, I wasn't expecting them to go where they did with the second half. I still liked it, though. Maybe not as much as I would have had they gone another route, but still.

[CrystalTears]

Now I know it's going to be good because people here didn't like it. Especially Sean2. Shocker!

[Warriorbird]

Sometimes people don't like things for valid reasons... like the second half being a tremendous letdown.

:P

[CrystalTears]

I haven't heard valid reasons, mainly because I have no idea what people expect out of movies such as this, because they get disappointed when their mental image of what it should have been didn't come true. :shrug:

[Kranar]

Here's a valid reason...

The movie starts off like a fun action packed enjoyable pop corn movie for the first half where you see Will Smith acting like a badass super hero bum.

Then for the second half of the movie it takes a complete 180, shoves a ridiculously stupid scenario down your throat, and so for the next 45 minutes pretends to be a drama all the while trying to justify the absolute dumbest plot imaginable.

At the end of the movie you're sitting there thinking... Why? Why did they waste such a cool summer blockbuster concept for such a dumb idea?

[Kranar]

Or in terms understandable to fellow PC'ers...

The movie is like a thread you find in GS Complaints that we all love and you just know is going to be juicy... We don't read that for any intellectual purpose, it's just a guilty pleasure we get to read once every 2 or so months. But then, after the 30th-40th post of the thread it derails like you wouldn't believe, becomes incredibly stale and the remaining 300 posts are just beating on a dead horse into oblivion and you just want it to end.

That's Hancock.

[NocturnalRob]

yeah...everything you see in the previews occurs in the first 30-40 minutes of the movie. after that, the poo is unleashed

[Tisket]

I think we need to make this a spoiler thread. I want the dirt before I shell out the bucks.

I also read the last chapter of books first.

[Stretch]

Wild stab in the dark here:

Hancock falls in love with the normal dude's girlfriend / wife, which drives the other guy to be an evil villain. The ending involves the guy dying somehow, redeeming himself by saving his wife / g.f. The movie ends with a scene with Hancock about to drink a beer, stop, stare at it with a dumb expression, and throw it away.

I imagine its just like how they ruined Wedding Crashers with 45 minutes of chick-flick horrendousness.

[Bobmuhthol]

What a shitty guess.

[Clove]

I think we need to make this a spoiler thread. I want the dirt before I shell out the bucks.

I also read the last chapter of books first.Screw you, take your risk like the ones before you :P

[Clove]

Then for the second half of the movie it takes a complete 180, shoves a ridiculously stupid scenario down your throat, and so for the next 45 minutes pretends to be a drama all the while trying to justify the absolute dumbest plot imaginable.I just find this deliciously ironic. A bum superhero is entertaining (not a ridiculously stupid scenario).

[NocturnalRob]

I just find this deliciously ironic. A bum superhero is entertaining (not a ridiculously stupid scenario).

that's not the scenario he's talking about, genius.

[Bobmuhthol]

That's his point, genius. To call one part of the movie ridiculously stupid but laud another is "deliciously ironic," since the entire movie has the same aspect of ridiculousness.

[NocturnalRob]

untrue.

he's referring to the bum superhero. i was referring to the completely retarded "twist" (i.e., someone's inability to write a cohesive script) that jacked up the last 50 minutes of the movie.

[Clove]

That's his point, genius. To call one part of the movie ridiculously stupid but laud another is "deliciously ironic," since the entire movie has the same aspect of ridiculousness.Exactly. And while I understand why some people might not like the second half of the movie, or more specifically the explanation of his origins; that's fine- that's just a matter of preference- but don't try to sell that it's more ridiculous than a radio active spider, or an infant from a dying alien culture sent to a planet where the sun gives him super powers (or just about any super hero backstory).

I also agree that the second half could have been written better, but it was good enough to be entertaining in my opinion. Frankly, it could have used another 1/2 hour. I felt they sort of rushed through the second half to get to the climax. It was entertaining, just not a literary work of art.

[Kranar]

That's his point, genius. To call one part of the movie ridiculously stupid but laud another is "deliciously ironic," since the entire movie has the same aspect of ridiculousness.


This is making a very thin semantic argument over my use of the word ridiculous in two different contexts.

I think most people who see the movie will understand what I mean when I say that the second half of the movie is ridiculous in a stupid way that completely ruins the feel of the movie, as opposed to the first half, which while also ridiculous, is at least fun and entertaining.

The end result is a movie that is executed in a very clumsy manner, whereas if they just dropped the premise of the second half of the movie, and stuck with the original ridiculous but fun/entertaining premise of the first half, it would have been a pretty cool summer movie.

[longshot]

This is making a very thin semantic argument over my use of the word ridiculous in two different contexts.

I think most people who see the movie will understand what I mean when I say that the second half of the movie is ridiculous in a stupid way that completely ruins the feel of the movie, as opposed to the first half, which while also ridiculous, is at least fun and entertaining.

The end result is a movie that is executed in a very clumsy manner, whereas if they just dropped the premise of the second half of the movie, and stuck with the original ridiculous but fun/entertaining premise of the first half, it would have been a pretty cool summer movie.

Well said.

From what you've written, I'm pretty sure we have similar tastes in movies.

[NocturnalRob]

This is making a very thin semantic argument over my use of the word ridiculous in two different contexts.

I think most people who see the movie will understand what I mean when I say that the second half of the movie is ridiculous in a stupid way that completely ruins the feel of the movie, as opposed to the first half, which while also ridiculous, is at least fun and entertaining.

The end result is a movie that is executed in a very clumsy manner, whereas if they just dropped the premise of the second half of the movie, and stuck with the original ridiculous but fun/entertaining premise of the first half, it would have been a pretty cool summer movie.

exactly. i forgot that bob likes to pretend he's clever by trying to twist people's words.

and again, this movie is not worth the cost of admission, especially not in nyc

[Bobmuhthol]

<<exactly. i forgot that bob likes to pretend he's clever by trying to twist people's words.>>

Are you fucking retarded? I had nothing to do with it - I explained Clove's point when you misinterpreted it.

[NocturnalRob]

are you a pasty red-headed teenager with a beat girlfriend and an attitude problem?

ahh...

[The Ponzzz]

Those be fighting words, son!

[NocturnalRob]

whatever. i don't tolerate shit from kids who haven't even been to college yet. Ponzzz, i've also forwarded that picture on to pretty much everyone i know. that may be necessary for my friend's bachelor party next month

[Sean of the Thread]

I didn't check the box office on this one just word of mouth (my wife works in a full service theatre nights) but this may be the first thing Smith has touched in his career that is shit.


The man has really been gold... not entirely to his own credit but none the less the man has been gold.

[Tisket]

but this may be the first thing Smith has touched in his career that is shit.


Wild, Wild West sucked major ass.

[NocturnalRob]

umm...fucking Legend of Bagger Vance FTMFL

[Paradii]

wasnt I am legend pretty much shit too?

[DCSL]

I liked it. But then, I'm told that I like stupid movies. Evolution? Check. Strange Wilderness? Check.

Anyway, Hancock had some definite faults and the second half could have been helped, if not cured, by fixing some of them. Like the last major villain. I don't remember his name. Do you? He just sort of... showed up and it was like, who the fuck is this guy? Not archenemy material.

I mean, when I think superhero... I think supervillain. Every hero needs a nemesis because the concept of a hero is based on conflict; that's how they grow as characters, through conflict of one form or another. The fact that Hancock's enemy was so meaningless and forgettable just cheapens him as a hero.

I'm kind of shocked that no one else has complained about the crappy villain, only the lame latter-movie Shyamalan twist.

[Tisket]

I liked "I am Legend" too but I like that whole genre of apocalyptic, zombie/vampire type movies.

But I just don't know how he could fail so hard in WWW, I mean it's a western AND scifi...what more do you need?!? Jesus.

[The Ponzzz]

I read the spoilers from another forum I go to. I gotta say, that is a bit dumb. I bet the movie is still "ok" but why oh why it went that way seems illogical.

As for I Am Legend, that was a great movie. I wish the ending was a bit better (both versions could have been way better). Though, for recent zombie flicks, 28 Days Later is still the best.

[diethx]

whatever. i don't tolerate shit from kids who haven't even been to college yet. Ponzzz, i've also forwarded that picture on to pretty much everyone i know. that may be necessary for my friend's bachelor party next month

So, once he starts college you'll tolerate his shit?

:popcorn2:

[Clove]

While the second half had its flaws, its flaws didn't ruin the entertainment for me. On the other hand if it had continued on with Hancock being the sour asshole superhero schtick for another 45 minutes (as some have suggested would have been better) I'm pretty positive it would have gotten boring. For the life of me I have no idea how people could suggest that that wouldn't have gotten old.

[TheEschaton]

There needed to be some backstory, it wasn't the backstory people were expecting, whatever. It could of been a cool concept for a backstory had they done it better, but they just kind of flopped it out there, like Sean's dick at the end of a first date.

-TheE-

[Asha]

I thought Legend Of Baggar Vance was Fresh.

[Keller]

Don't you mean at the beginning of the first date?

[NocturnalRob]

So, once he starts college you'll tolerate his shit?

:popcorn2:

doubtful. hopefully he'll get his ass kicked at least once his freshman year.

[Daniel]

are you a pasty red-headed teenager with a beat girlfriend and an attitude problem?

ahh...

ROFL

[Sean of the Thread]

Actually Bagger Vance wasn't thaaaaat bad just not great for general audiences. It was just his first box office ouch.

He's something like 800% profit... or something ridiculous like that as an odd fact.

[The Ponzzz]

doubtful. hopefully he'll get his ass kicked at least once his freshman year.

Who actually gets beat up in college? I didn't think that really happened outside movies.

[Sean of the Thread]

HEY HEY HO HO THIS PENIS PARTY HAS GOT TO GO!

[Stunseed]

Who actually gets beat up in college? I didn't think that really happened outside movies.

People who talk shit, primarily. Also the drama-filled dorm life caused some fights during my time, too.

[The Ponzzz]

Oh, I lived off campus, I guess I might have missed a lot.

[Sean of the Thread]

Lol reminds me of a huge brawl we had at my girlfriends off campus apartment the night of a Tyson fight at FSU.

Not sure what happened or sparked it but after the fight all hell broke lose and I knocked out this poor geeky dungeon and dragons kid who was on our side on accident during the fight. Poor guy was crying. I was taking blows from every direction so any target I squared on was struck.

Anyways funniest part is the picture of my girlfriend's room mate just walking in circles of the brawl and hitting people in the head with a piece of fire wood. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Oh and Warrick Dunn lived right next door rofl. Good times.

[Bobmuhthol]

<<are you a pasty red-headed teenager with a beat girlfriend and an attitude problem?>>

Since my hair isn't red, and you don't know who my girlfriend is... no?

<<hopefully he'll get his ass kicked at least once his freshman year.>>

lol, good luck with that.

<<whatever. i don't tolerate shit from kids who haven't even been to college yet.>>

I guess I could understand that logic, if you didn't absolutely start it.

[Allereli]

This is much better than the Steia/Gardeth thread. Thanks guys!

[Clove]

There needed to be some backstory, it wasn't the backstory people were expecting, whatever. It could of been a cool concept for a backstory had they done it better, but they just kind of flopped it out there, like Sean's dick at the end of a first date.

-TheE-Best review ever.

[Asha]

Anyways funniest part is the picture of my girlfriend's room mate just walking in circles of the brawl and hitting people in the head with a piece of fire wood. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

A proper woman. Nice.

[NocturnalRob]

HEY HEY HO HO THIS PENIS PARTY HAS GOT TO GO!

what a great movie. piven was fucking hysterical in that



Since my hair isn't red, and you don't know who my girlfriend is... no?


i'm too lazy to go through the photos, but if your prom date was your girlfriend or is any indication of who you find attractive...then yeah...point made.

[Martaigne]

Went to go see this last night with my wife, and we both enjoyed it.

[Latrinsorm]

I mean, when I think superhero... I think supervillain. Every hero needs a nemesis because the concept of a hero is based on conflict; that's how they grow as characters, through conflict of one form or another. The fact that Hancock's enemy was so meaningless and forgettable just cheapens him as a hero.I very much liked the movie for a number of reasons, this included. Fundamentally, the movie avoided (for whatever reason) a lot of common "superhero-y" stuff:
1) No supervillain that arbitrarily shows up just as the hero does (good timing, huh?).
2) No clumsy explanation of how powers work or where they're from.
3) No tragic backstory (of the Batman/Spiderman sort).

Instead:
1) Regular bad guys, who don't need superpowers to endanger dozens of lives.
2) A few subtle notes (is it hot in here? + Jiffy Pop), but no psuedoscience.
3) Hancock becomes heroic simply because he ought to, not because he's emotionally bludgeoned into doing it.

As for the backstory, I am extremely happy that they didn't strain themselves with the whole "we used to be called gods" shtick, because it would never have made sense. They're just different - the end.

As for the change in tone of the movie, I'm with Clove (I think it was) in that the surly anti-hero gimmick would have been totally exhausted over a full movie.

No one else has mentioned this yet, but I can honestly say there were multiple laugh-out-loud moments in the movie. That alone puts it ahead of most action movies that aren't Die Hard.

.

In sum, I absolutely recommend the movie for anyone here.

[Bobmuhthol]

<<i'm too lazy to go through the photos, but if your prom date was your girlfriend or is any indication of who you find attractive...then yeah...point made.>>

I'm glad you <3 underage girls enough to rate them. Not my girlfriend though.

[Clove]

Went to go see this last night with my wife, and we both enjoyed it.Despite Marty's endorsement, you should still see this movie!

Nothing but :love:, nothing but :love: for ya' Marty mar.

[Asha]

After most of you said it was pretty dire, I didn't bother with Hancock and went with my GF to see Wanted today, which was pretty shit actually (be warned).
Since I got home I've just now watched Hancock and really enjoyed it. Heh.
Ahh well.

[diethx]

Who actually gets beat up in college? I didn't think that really happened outside movies.

College = drinking, a lot (for many).

Drinking a lot = stupid douchebags getting into fights/getting beaten up.

It's inevitable.

I'll honestly say though that in all of my time living on campus, visiting other campuses, and living off campus, i've never seen anyone in college just get beat up for being who they were/what they did like kids did in high school. And that sounds like what nocturnalrob was suggesting.

[The Ponzzz]

Yea, I never saw the "bully" mentality where people just picked/lynched random people that they thought deserved it. Granted, everyone should learn how to punch a mother fucker in the face before they are 18. You don't need to be strong to know how to punch someone in the face right. I've been in my fair share of fights that I have started. I've lost quite a few of them.

[Clove]

After most of you said it was pretty dire, I didn't bother with Hancock and went with my GF to see Wanted today, which was pretty shit actually (be warned).
Since I got home I've just now watched Hancock and really enjoyed it. Heh.
Ahh well.Now you know... ignore the tools and trust Clove :D

[Sean of the Thread]

College = drinking, a lot (for many).

Drinking a lot = stupid douchebags getting into fights/getting beaten up.

It's inevitable.

I'll honestly say though that in all of my time living on campus, visiting other campuses, and living off campus, i've never seen anyone in college just get beat up for being who they were/what they did like kids did in high school. And that sounds like what nocturnalrob was suggesting.

I've seen people get beat up just for doing nothing. Or their beer. Or their bike. Or just walking down the wrong street party. In fact I've seen people get beat down from no reason to any reason in college towns. Just the way it is.

[Sean of the Thread]

Yea, I never saw the "bully" mentality where people just picked/lynched random people that they thought deserved it. Granted, everyone should learn how to punch a mother fucker in the face before they are 18. You don't need to be strong to know how to punch someone in the face right. I've been in my fair share of fights that I have started. I've lost quite a few of them.

I consider myself "experienced" in the ways of fighting... that being said it's just dumb as you can seriously hurt someone on accident and be in deep shit real fast.

That's out of the way be sure to nail the person in the chin straight on or the throat if you're looking to bail. A open fisted full on chop to the clavicle works great. Or aim for the liver and above at the solar plexus.

Uncle Sean's advice is now over.

Don't forget the double clap ear slap is good shit too. The only reason any of you should be fighting is to defuse or escape a volatile situation. Take it from me you're not tough for fighting with no reason. Unless you want attempted murder charges at worse and restitution at least.

[NocturnalRob]

hit someone in the throat with a hand chop. done.

kick someone in the side of the knee and then in the temple. done.

fighting to fight is stupid. fighting to avoid getting your ass beat...i'll allow it.

[Keller]

Who actually gets beat up in college? I didn't think that really happened outside movies.

I got my ass beat in college by the starting nose-guard on the football team. His name was Dan, but EVERYONE called him Big Dan.

[NocturnalRob]

I got my ass beat in college by the starting nose-guard on the football team. His name was Dan, but EVERYONE called him Big Dan.

because he had such a big heart?

[Sean of the Thread]

That being said hitting people in the face is just not plain smart unless you know wtf you're doing. I've broken both 5th metacarpals on peoples heads... and that sucks. Game over for you at that point you better introduce pat and turner at that point.

Pat and Turner = Patting feet and turning corners full speed. Boxers wear gloves to protect their hands for those that don't know. Not to protect the other dudes head.

[Sean of the Thread]

I got my ass beat in college by the starting nose-guard on the football team. His name was Dan, but EVERYONE called him Big Dan.

Also good advice to avoid any lineman rofl. They hurt enough in the game let alone when drunk at a kegger.

[NocturnalRob]

Game over for you at that point you better introduce pat and turner at that point.


haha...i always thought it was turner swift. turn around and swiftly gtfo.

not to mention that you look like a massive pussy if you punch a guy wrong, he keeps coming, and you're bitching because you broke your shit.

isn't that called a boxer's fracture, btw?

[Keller]

Also good advice to avoid any lineman rofl. They hurt enough in the game let alone when drunk at a kegger.


He was drunk, camping out in the dunes on Lake Michigan. Two friends and I bombarded his campground w/ water baloons around 2am when they were piss drunk. We thought they were friends of ours. Turns out our friends were one dune over and that we had carpet bombed the proverbial hornet's nest of drunk football players.

Bad idea.

[NocturnalRob]

He was drunk, camping out in the dunes on Lake Michigan. Two friends and I bombarded his campground w/ water baloons around 2am when they were piss drunk. We thought they were friends of ours. Turns out our friends were one dune over and that we had carpet bombed the proverbial hornet's nest of drunk football players.

Bad idea.

hahahahaha....awesome

[Sean of the Thread]

isn't that called a boxer's fracture, btw?

boxer's break or fracture yes. I have two very fucked up pinky fingers and no knuckle in the right whatsoever. It snapped completely and spun around and I didn't want to pay for the surgery to have it fixed.

so the knuckle is a 180 on the fifth meta and the broken end is where the knuckle used to be. That was off a forehead (ouch) of a good friend neighbor( 6'4 drunk)(I'm 5'10) on Christmas eve for kicking my puppy that he thought was my Pit.

It was a rage strike when he was kicking my pup after midnight and I literally had to tiger upper cut jump to hit him in the face he's that big and broke it on the first strike when I hit his forehead on accident. Still put him on his ass but he got up and promptly broke my nose with his super reach.

With my hand broken I had to sweep him and choke him out long enough for his wife to get him to his senses. Hugs and kisses the next morning of course.

Despite that night I'd still take a bullet for him or his family.

[Sean of the Thread]

He was drunk, camping out in the dunes on Lake Michigan. Two friends and I bombarded his campground w/ water baloons around 2am when they were piss drunk. We thought they were friends of ours. Turns out our friends were one dune over and that we had carpet bombed the proverbial hornet's nest of drunk football players.

Bad idea.

hahahahahahahah

whooops.

[Daniel]

That being said hitting people in the face is just not plain smart unless you know wtf you're doing. I've broken both 5th metacarpals on peoples heads... and that sucks. Game over for you at that point you better introduce pat and turner at that point.

Pat and Turner = Patting feet and turning corners full speed. Boxers wear gloves to protect their hands for those that don't know. Not to protect the other dudes head.

Yea. I've had a boxers fracture on my right hand three times, broken my hamate twice and once knocked a three quarter inch piece of bone off the side of my wrist.

I sucked it up through 4 years in the Army and now I get 10% disability. Free booze money for life baby.

[NocturnalRob]

Free booze money for life baby.

i tried to think of something better.

i couldn't.

[Sean of the Thread]

That's enough to buy at least a bottle of MD 20/20 a week he's all good.


But Daniel stepping in brings up my point that I forgot to emphasize in previous posts. You NEVER know who you're fucking with. When I was about 10 I watched a USN SEAL about kill 6 bikers that jumped his 5'9 170lb ass outside a strip club. I was feet away in a car and watched the whole thing ... it's actually what motivated me to the corps. I didn't know he was a SEAL until he news the next day but I did see an ass whooping of a life time.

Daniel looks like a little pussy but would work you over in no time. Oscar de la hoya looks like a fairy but would dislocate your brain in 1 second. I look like an average dude but will put a stop to shit in seconds.

Bottom line don't fight. It's dumb. Justice system sucks. Jail sucks. Getting hurt sucks. etc etc etc.

I still want to kick some ass tho. I almost chicken winged this guy at Busch Gardens last week... he threw a beer in a kids face at the hospitality trailer and slapped him. Kid must have been like 19 and skinny as a rail. He was a big dude. I immediately was two feet behind him waiting for him to do something else when 40 other people formed a 10 yard circle around.

I was about to wrap him up when his wife started screaming for him to chill out and his son was crying and they all escaped before the the Tampa police horded down. He was just one pissed off dude over a free beer. He claimed he hadn't had his free beer but it was like 30 minutes to closing time. Who knows but he acted the fool.

He kind of looked like Ronde Barber.

[diethx]

I've seen people get beat up just for doing nothing. Or their beer. Or their bike. Or just walking down the wrong street party. In fact I've seen people get beat down from no reason to any reason in college towns. Just the way it is.

Yeah, I think you just hung out with a bunch of douchebags. I've got too many years college experience and i've never seen anyone beat up just for the fuck of it. I'm not saying it's NEVER happened ever, but in my experience it's not at all a common practice. Not "the way it is". Unless you hang out with total douchebags, I guess.

[Asha]

Funny you should mention MD 20/20. That shit got me into my first ever fight.
I thought I was pretty nails till then.
Since then I've learned a few tricks and some I daren't ever use since I don't want to end up in prison or charged. Even when I got jumped by 4 chav fuckers I still didn't dare do the shit I was told would put them down immediately.
I got pretty badly battered, got lots of cash eventually, 2 of them got jailed and I was prescribed fucking incredible painkillers for a very long time.
Better than going to jail.

Now one on one I'm pretty handy these days, but that barely ever happens on the street. Almost never.

[Daniel]

That's enough to buy at least a bottle of MD 20/20 a week he's all good.


But Daniel stepping in brings up my point that I forgot to emphasize in previous posts. You NEVER know who you're fucking with. When I was about 10 I watched a USN SEAL about kill 6 bikers that jumped his 5'9 170lb ass outside a strip club. I was feet away in a car and watched the whole thing ... it's actually what motivated me to the corps. I didn't know he was a SEAL until he news the next day but I did see an ass whooping of a life time.

Daniel looks like a little pussy but would work you over in no time. Oscar de la hoya looks like a fairy but would dislocate your brain in 1 second. I look like an average dude but will put a stop to shit in seconds.

Bottom line don't fight. It's dumb. Justice system sucks. Jail sucks. Getting hurt sucks. etc etc etc.
.

No shit.

Most people don't realize this until they are already getting their shit kicked it. As a consequence, you can tell how a fight is going to go 95% of the time within the first 20 seconds, if not the first punch.

You can always tell the guys who are just there because they let their manliness cloud their judgement. They're the ones not really fighting back, throwing half ass punches or even worse the "Swing with the inside of your palm" punches.

Other times, you get caught in your automatic flight response and unless you have the sheer will to turn it off you're fucked.

Two examples: 1. Some gangbangers at my high school decided they'd try to strong arm my buddy for his jacket because he was one of those 5'7 scrawny guys. They never imagined that him and my goofy ass knew how to throw down and we went through their entire crew like we were fucking double dragon.

2. I got caught slipping in the wrong neighborhood one time and like seven dudes ran up on me to get my cash (I had probably something stupid like 9 bucks). It caught me so off guard that I didn't even throw a punch. Luckily, all of those guys were there to impress each other and none of them really knew how to fight anyway. At the point I realized this, I was like fuck it let me just gtfo and not give anyone a reason to pull a shank or worse. So, I was able to get away, with only a couple of scratches albeit pissed as fuck because I knew I coulda leveled those dudes.

Anybody who knows anything at fighting knows that it doesn't really matter if you're the baddest motherfucker around. All it takes is a beer mug to the dome and you're in the ER. So, you act accordingly. If I'm really gonna fight you I'm not gonna run up to your face and go "Fuck you dude!" <shove> <shove> I'll kill your mother!! <shove> <shove>

[Asha]

we went through their entire crew like we were fucking double dragon.


:lol: win

[Stanley Burrell]

I tell everyone how awesome my 10x DB items are before I battle it out. I have to show these fools a character spreadsheet to validate my doubling in brawling, sometimes.

Grrr.

[Martaigne]

You NEVER know who you're fucking with.

I was in Air Force tech school in 1997, which is basically like college but everyone wears a uniform. I was stationed at Keesler AFB, which is in Gulfport, MS, near Biloxi. What a fucking hole. The only thing to do on the weekends was go into town and get trashed at the local bars.

When we came back in at night, we had to sign into the barracks. I finished signing in at the desk, only to turn around and find myself face-to-face with Airman Nunez. Nunez was this 5'9" Hispanic dude who was built like a brick wall. He looked like he had no neck. He was also piss-drunk and evidently thought that because I was 6'3" and only 160lbs and look like a pussy (Clove can verify this) that I was easy pickings.

He said to me, "What would you do if I grabbed you by the neck?"

I mean really, what would *anyone* say to that? Before I could answer, he grabbed me by the neck. Keep in mind, I haven't ever done anything to this guy to warrant any sort of attack.

The girl behind the desk gasped, and a few lookers-on gawked a bit, but no one even raised a finger to help. I managed to squeak out a wimpy, "Let go, or else I'll..." before he tightened his grip to the point where I could no longer speak, and pushed me back against the desk. I felt like my welfare was being seriously threatened by that point, and I attempted to warn him, so I felt justified in defending myself.

Airman Nunez went to the base hospital with a dislocated left kneecap, a broken right arm, a torn rotator cuff, three fractured ribs, and a concussion after I kicked his kneecap off, broke his arm over my shoulder, and kicked him into the opposite wall.

Overkill? Perhaps. But he was a big dude, and if he recovered and got in close he could have wasted me, so I had to make sure he was down for the count. Thankfully, this was the only time I've ever really had to defend myself in my life.

Nunez received an Article 15 for instigating the incident (I had plenty of witnesses) and I got yelled at for disabling a "government asset." Ten years later, I'm out of practice and would probably get wasted, but I'm glad I spent all that time in various martial arts schools before this event.

[Clove]

For the record, Martaigne isn't a 160 lbs. anymore.

[Martaigne]

You're right. I'm 158 lbs.

[Stanley Burrell]

I was in Air Force tech school in 1997, which is basically like college but everyone wears a uniform. I was stationed at Keesler AFB, which is in Gulfport, MS, near Biloxi. What a fucking hole. The only thing to do on the weekends was go into town and get trashed at the local bars.

When we came back in at night, we had to sign into the barracks. I finished signing in at the desk, only to turn around and find myself face-to-face with Airman Nunez. Nunez was this 5'9" Hispanic dude who was built like a brick wall. He looked like he had no neck. He was also piss-drunk and evidently thought that because I was 6'3" and only 160lbs and look like a pussy (Clove can verify this) that I was easy pickings.

He said to me, "What would you do if I grabbed you by the neck?"

I mean really, what would *anyone* say to that? Before I could answer, he grabbed me by the neck. Keep in mind, I haven't ever done anything to this guy to warrant any sort of attack.

The girl behind the desk gasped, and a few lookers-on gawked a bit, but no one even raised a finger to help. I managed to squeak out a wimpy, "Let go, or else I'll..." before he tightened his grip to the point where I could no longer speak, and pushed me back against the desk. I felt like my welfare was being seriously threatened by that point, and I attempted to warn him, so I felt justified in defending myself.

Airman Nunez went to the base hospital with a dislocated left kneecap, a broken right arm, a torn rotator cuff, three fractured ribs, and a concussion after I kicked his kneecap off, broke his arm over my shoulder, and kicked him into the opposite wall.

Overkill? Perhaps. But he was a big dude, and if he recovered and got in close he could have wasted me, so I had to make sure he was down for the count. Thankfully, this was the only time I've ever really had to defend myself in my life.

Nunez received an Article 15 for instigating the incident (I had plenty of witnesses) and I got yelled at for disabling a "government asset." Ten years later, I'm out of practice and would probably get wasted, but I'm glad I spent all that time in various martial arts schools before this event.

That is the greatest story I've ever read.

And on a more serious note, my years of studying Voln Fu and biochemistry and growing up in the City infused me with the ancient Chinese discipline of countering random chokeholds using the long-forgotten Shaolin art of "Puppet-stringing large stupid people."

[Warriorbird]

I'm not some crazy badass like some of these folks. Thing is? I know it. Most people don't. I think that's critical in fighting.

Last seriously bad situation I was in I had somebody throw me out an open window. The club I'd left caught on fire that night, mid fight.

You just have to analyze a situation.

[Stanley Burrell]

It's really not that hard to compliment Marines/jail people on their tattoos and shift your speech.

[Asha]

That is the greatest story I've ever read.

qft!

[NocturnalRob]

we went through their entire crew like we were fucking double dragon.

http://www.gameguru.in/images/double-dragon-xbla.jpg


I'm not gonna run up to your face and go "Fuck you dude!" <shove> <shove> I'll kill your mother!! <shove> <shove>

that = the start/stop of so many college fights i've witnessed. talking/yelling just lets other drunk assholes build up the courage to swing. either turn around and walk away or finish it quickly if you can.