Drunken Durfin
06-09-2008, 11:15 PM
Things over in the Kharam-Dzu folder are getting pretty heated again over the lack of tables, not a new issue by any stretch, so I decided to interject a little humor...
Many of you know the history of Teras, Ghorsa and the mighty Borthuum clan. However, few are old enough to remember the great catastrophe that once befell our town. Rumors are the bailiwick of elves, so if you want a quick answer seek them out on this topic. But if you want the whole story, I offer you the legend that has been told many times over whilst sipping whiskey leaning against the bar down in the Whining Elf.
The Legend of Binglefrut Humperstand and the Terasian Tables
After the borders were opened and Kharam Dzu began to host more than just the occasional trading ship, it was realized that the town would need to be made more hospitable to the visitors that would begin to fill their streets?and taverns.
Now, the majority of the Borthuum Clan were craftsman and miners, with precious few skilled in carpentry. Making tables from stone was something that could be done, but the pride in craftsmanship that the few who took such a task upon themselves produced very long. The first table took a little more than eight months to be completed.*
Knowing that this schedule would not meet the rising need the town commissioned a group of Gnomes, The Gnomish Society for Endeavors in Extreme Crafting and Tinkering, to craft some of the finest woodworked tables that have ever been seen.
A hefty deposit of gems from the various mines of Teras was handed over and the Gnomes began their work. Plans were drawn up. Various designs were made, rejected and redrawn by their engineers who toiled night and day to produce these masterpieces of woodwork.
The final designs were presented to the town commission. They wereso beautiful and unique that approval was granted on the spot. Work began at the Gnomes camp that had been set up just outside of town led by their chief engineer, Binglefrut Humperstand.
What was not known to the good people of Kharam Dzu was that Binglefrut and his compatriots, aside from being master woodworkers, were also quite skilled in the magical arts. Gnomes being Gnomes, they were notorious tinker-fingers and they had plans within their plans. The ornate and unique tables that they had designed were more than just a place to rest your ale, or your head after seven too many. When arranged in a very specific manner these tables channeled magical energies in such a way as to create a portal on Ghorsa Isle between Kharam Dzu and Whenmier?s Landing.
This portal was to be their ticket to riches, as people would no longer need to suffer through the long and dangerous trek aboard the Glasen Star. Now they could pay just a tad more, to the Gnomes who controlled the portal of course, and enjoy a quick and safe journey from the mainland to Teras.
Some weeks passed and Gnomish carts bustled through the streets with canvas wrapped tables carefully unloaded at the inns and taverns across town. A fireworks display was scheduled for that evening, when the tables would have their coverings snatched off simultaneously. A massive table stood covered in the middle of Ghorsa Isle with a large gathering of townsfolk. This table, Binglefrut's masterpiece, was the focal point for the energies of all the other tables on the isle and what would soon be the portal the Gnomes had been planning all along.
As the sun began to set Binglefrut gave the signal for the fireworks to begin. The aerial explosions began at the four corners of the town, converging high above the center of Kharam Dzu. So tumultuous was the effect that a normally lazy mule which locals are all too familiar with bolted in fright from his shade tree near Dragonspine and Krodera, launching his owner to the ground...also not an uncommon sight. With the first explosion tables across town had their draping removed to reveal beautifully hand-carved masterpieces from modwir to fireleaf, illthorn and more. The artistry of the woodcarving was only enhanced by the inlays of gems and metals from all across the land. These masterpieces were wondrous to behold and all who saw them stood frozen by their beauty.
While all the people of the isle marveled at the beauty of the tables, Binglefrut stepped over to the main table on the isle and placed an intricately carved diamond into a socket in the table. As it clicked into place it, along with every table in Kharam Dzu began to draw in the surrounding energies and emit a soft white glow. That?s when the mule showed up. He dashed full speed across bridge, catching his pack on the edge of the table as he bolted by. The table was flung over on its side and the diamond, which was the key to the whole device, was catapulted into the Muagh River. And that is when things got weird.
Binglefrut scrambled to right the table, but without the faceted gem to control the focus of the energies being transmitted from all across town there was little he could do. He frantically searched his pockets, pulling out all sorts of Gnomish tools of unknown purpose, casting each aside almost as soon as he laid eyes on them. Less than a minute passed before he had exhausted his supply of whatnots and he gave up. He, as well as all the onlookers, began to also notice that the table was humming and beginning to vibrate. The winds had picked up from a gentle breeze and were now swirling around the isle. One of the city officials stepped up and asked, ?Is there a problem Binglefrut?? With a shrug, he stuck his finger in his mouth, pulled it out and then jammed in into the empty socket in the table. The winds suddenly changed direction and doubled their velocity, causing many to stagger backwards. The table itself then let forth a mighty screech, like claws across rough metal, and with a force yet unseen Binglefrut was sucked completely into the socket of the table and was quickly followed by the table itself followed by a rather disappointing little pop. Explosions and screams from all over town could be heard as many of the tables in the inns and taverns caught fire and exploded. One even melted, a particularly disturbing event being that it was made of wood. A few were killed outright, many were injured and several beards were lost.
In the coming days the remaining members of The Gnomish Society for Endeavors in Extreme Crafting and Tinkering were jailed and their camp was searched. Detailed construction notes revealed their true intended use.
The town elders met and puzzled over the remaining tables and decided the best course of action was to destroy all that remained. They were carted to the mouth of the volcano and heaved over the edge. There was a long time of mourning for those who were lost in the event. Even to this day the talk of commissioning new tables for the various spots around town is met with distaste by those of the town.
Binglefrut was never seen again, save for the rare reports of his ghost ? always seen cursing mules as they cross the bridge onto Ghorsa Isle.
~ Drunken Durfin Stonelord
Terasian Legend Keeper and Boozehound Extraordinaire
*This table still stands today
[Kharam Dzu Hall, Basalt Table]
A massive section of basalt, nearly half a foot thick, rests upon a squat silvery mithril pedestal. The oval shape of the table is accented by a clear glaes edge that glows a tranquil yellow-green, complementing the light trickling through the curtained archway. Stools crafted from native hardwood are stained black and reinforced with heavy strips of mithril.
>look at table
The clear glaes edge of the table has been filled with a slowly bubbling liquid. Crumbled pieces of faintly glowing fungus float and tumble within the liquid, giving off a gentle, yellow-green light
Many of you know the history of Teras, Ghorsa and the mighty Borthuum clan. However, few are old enough to remember the great catastrophe that once befell our town. Rumors are the bailiwick of elves, so if you want a quick answer seek them out on this topic. But if you want the whole story, I offer you the legend that has been told many times over whilst sipping whiskey leaning against the bar down in the Whining Elf.
The Legend of Binglefrut Humperstand and the Terasian Tables
After the borders were opened and Kharam Dzu began to host more than just the occasional trading ship, it was realized that the town would need to be made more hospitable to the visitors that would begin to fill their streets?and taverns.
Now, the majority of the Borthuum Clan were craftsman and miners, with precious few skilled in carpentry. Making tables from stone was something that could be done, but the pride in craftsmanship that the few who took such a task upon themselves produced very long. The first table took a little more than eight months to be completed.*
Knowing that this schedule would not meet the rising need the town commissioned a group of Gnomes, The Gnomish Society for Endeavors in Extreme Crafting and Tinkering, to craft some of the finest woodworked tables that have ever been seen.
A hefty deposit of gems from the various mines of Teras was handed over and the Gnomes began their work. Plans were drawn up. Various designs were made, rejected and redrawn by their engineers who toiled night and day to produce these masterpieces of woodwork.
The final designs were presented to the town commission. They wereso beautiful and unique that approval was granted on the spot. Work began at the Gnomes camp that had been set up just outside of town led by their chief engineer, Binglefrut Humperstand.
What was not known to the good people of Kharam Dzu was that Binglefrut and his compatriots, aside from being master woodworkers, were also quite skilled in the magical arts. Gnomes being Gnomes, they were notorious tinker-fingers and they had plans within their plans. The ornate and unique tables that they had designed were more than just a place to rest your ale, or your head after seven too many. When arranged in a very specific manner these tables channeled magical energies in such a way as to create a portal on Ghorsa Isle between Kharam Dzu and Whenmier?s Landing.
This portal was to be their ticket to riches, as people would no longer need to suffer through the long and dangerous trek aboard the Glasen Star. Now they could pay just a tad more, to the Gnomes who controlled the portal of course, and enjoy a quick and safe journey from the mainland to Teras.
Some weeks passed and Gnomish carts bustled through the streets with canvas wrapped tables carefully unloaded at the inns and taverns across town. A fireworks display was scheduled for that evening, when the tables would have their coverings snatched off simultaneously. A massive table stood covered in the middle of Ghorsa Isle with a large gathering of townsfolk. This table, Binglefrut's masterpiece, was the focal point for the energies of all the other tables on the isle and what would soon be the portal the Gnomes had been planning all along.
As the sun began to set Binglefrut gave the signal for the fireworks to begin. The aerial explosions began at the four corners of the town, converging high above the center of Kharam Dzu. So tumultuous was the effect that a normally lazy mule which locals are all too familiar with bolted in fright from his shade tree near Dragonspine and Krodera, launching his owner to the ground...also not an uncommon sight. With the first explosion tables across town had their draping removed to reveal beautifully hand-carved masterpieces from modwir to fireleaf, illthorn and more. The artistry of the woodcarving was only enhanced by the inlays of gems and metals from all across the land. These masterpieces were wondrous to behold and all who saw them stood frozen by their beauty.
While all the people of the isle marveled at the beauty of the tables, Binglefrut stepped over to the main table on the isle and placed an intricately carved diamond into a socket in the table. As it clicked into place it, along with every table in Kharam Dzu began to draw in the surrounding energies and emit a soft white glow. That?s when the mule showed up. He dashed full speed across bridge, catching his pack on the edge of the table as he bolted by. The table was flung over on its side and the diamond, which was the key to the whole device, was catapulted into the Muagh River. And that is when things got weird.
Binglefrut scrambled to right the table, but without the faceted gem to control the focus of the energies being transmitted from all across town there was little he could do. He frantically searched his pockets, pulling out all sorts of Gnomish tools of unknown purpose, casting each aside almost as soon as he laid eyes on them. Less than a minute passed before he had exhausted his supply of whatnots and he gave up. He, as well as all the onlookers, began to also notice that the table was humming and beginning to vibrate. The winds had picked up from a gentle breeze and were now swirling around the isle. One of the city officials stepped up and asked, ?Is there a problem Binglefrut?? With a shrug, he stuck his finger in his mouth, pulled it out and then jammed in into the empty socket in the table. The winds suddenly changed direction and doubled their velocity, causing many to stagger backwards. The table itself then let forth a mighty screech, like claws across rough metal, and with a force yet unseen Binglefrut was sucked completely into the socket of the table and was quickly followed by the table itself followed by a rather disappointing little pop. Explosions and screams from all over town could be heard as many of the tables in the inns and taverns caught fire and exploded. One even melted, a particularly disturbing event being that it was made of wood. A few were killed outright, many were injured and several beards were lost.
In the coming days the remaining members of The Gnomish Society for Endeavors in Extreme Crafting and Tinkering were jailed and their camp was searched. Detailed construction notes revealed their true intended use.
The town elders met and puzzled over the remaining tables and decided the best course of action was to destroy all that remained. They were carted to the mouth of the volcano and heaved over the edge. There was a long time of mourning for those who were lost in the event. Even to this day the talk of commissioning new tables for the various spots around town is met with distaste by those of the town.
Binglefrut was never seen again, save for the rare reports of his ghost ? always seen cursing mules as they cross the bridge onto Ghorsa Isle.
~ Drunken Durfin Stonelord
Terasian Legend Keeper and Boozehound Extraordinaire
*This table still stands today
[Kharam Dzu Hall, Basalt Table]
A massive section of basalt, nearly half a foot thick, rests upon a squat silvery mithril pedestal. The oval shape of the table is accented by a clear glaes edge that glows a tranquil yellow-green, complementing the light trickling through the curtained archway. Stools crafted from native hardwood are stained black and reinforced with heavy strips of mithril.
>look at table
The clear glaes edge of the table has been filled with a slowly bubbling liquid. Crumbled pieces of faintly glowing fungus float and tumble within the liquid, giving off a gentle, yellow-green light